#i dont have the brain to elaborate on why but theyre wonderful

[tattoosingarishhues]

It's freaking bats, I love halloween

[zapsoda]

"what is a crush?" is such a fascinating question to explore why dont we talk about this more. like just for funsies. it feels like such a vast and ill defined concept yet many of us seem to have at least somewhat of an agreement on what it means.

in my mind. and my experience. a crush is when you like someone a lot. more than you like other people you like. this does not necessarily mean romantically. i entirely believe in platonic feelings of this variety. i think some people call those squishes but i think thats even stupider than the word crush, personally.

anyways. to elaborate. the effect is like a high. from my understanding. i dont really get out. in their vicinity your heart rate goes up. you get nervous. but not in the way that you feel nervous before going into an interview or walking on a glass bridge, its like when youre getting seated on a roller coaster just before it takes off.

it is exactly like being in the line of sight of a monster in a survival horror game.

except the monster is a person.

despite this, you might be a bit more impulsive. its entirely contradictory, its illogical, yet you push to worsen that anxiety. maybe you will talk to that person. maybe you will sit a little closer.

you have this gnawing, desperate, urge to put yourself in the way of danger. against all signs of danger, you want to get closer.

because every time you do this you have the chance of getting a sweet shot of dopamine. maybe they looked your way and werent visibly repulsed. maybe they waved to you. maybe they said hi. maybe even they spoke to you, like a normal human being.

the thrill is addictive. something about this person and the danger your brain tries so desperately to tell you that they put you in makes you fall deeper and deeper.

you start thinking about them when they arent around. you wonder what theyre doing. you wonder what they think of you. you wonder if its possible that maybe, just maybe, they dont even utterly abhor you. its a scandalous thought. whats next, youll be planning the wedding? yeah, maybe.

slowly, it takes over your brain. what was once a passing interest, now consumes many of your waking thoughts. you cant go too long without another hit. you cant see your future without it. without them.

your fantasies become more extreme. what would maximize the thrill and the rush. maybe if you touched hands, maybe if you got them to laugh, maybe if you stayed a little longer.

see, your brain builds up a tolerance to it. each moment, each high period overwhelms your neurons, it requires more and more just to satisfy your craving.

now youve fallen in. hook, line, and sinker.

thats just my experience though, id love to hear what other people have to say on the matter.

[expfcultragreen]

So shes giving his heart a blowie? What am i looking at.

Anyway (eta have some color-coding for syntactic clarity?) i have to point out, again, 2 things here: 1, she got famous as the bisexual icon prize/host of a modern-romance dating show full of gays (and i havent once held her up as everything i dont trust about people-who-say-they're-"bisexual"-and-forgoe-the-now-de-rigueur-caveat-that-they-actually-mean-theyre-pan/omni-but-theyre-using-bi-like-how-an-elder-used-it-in-an-old-zine-where-they-elaborated-that-they-dont-mean-it-in-a-binarist-way [usually thats where someone coins a term or casts a misty eye to a future time when the language is more nuanced. moving on...] so let me just take the opportunity) and then again when she got engaged to that heiress who was the original pick for paris's costar on the simple life, slash, when the heiress she was engaged to died and she was super distraught. Relatedly, 2, she processes shame weird. Like, the way she talks about gays (and, especially, baby mamas) these days. Remember when she used to blame every weird thing she did on Jane? Me neither, really, i never followed her myspace. Like its in some of her music but without context its like 🤷. But anyway i heard tell of the lore (jakeyonce lives to yt again) and apparently prior to the aneurysm she would dissociate or wild out or both, and a different persona named Jane would be in control and she was like, hectic and cruel, and baseline everyday tila was way different. At the time. One could say that was just her stage persona having its initial stress hiccups--which would snowball into total collapse of the manufactured self--but like whats weird is the intensity of "jane" vs the longevity and consistency of "nice bi tila"; if jane is just the real tila and thats all we're getting now that shes outgrown showbiz, its really impressive how good she was at having her hustle together as a young celebrity. Why would anyone who secretly always-was the person we hear from today, have picked that particular hustle, out of every hustle in the world? Like not that many years ago she was babysitting her future wife's dogs, and youre telling me the person who made the call to do that (for the money? presuming she hasnt undergone a total personality shift) was as hateful as the lady who writes these posts im archiving so pruriently? Fuck, if thats true? and she never did change personalities actually? we should rrrrreaally be wondering whether it was willful negligence on tilas part specifically that lead to that diabetes death

Like she is always bragging about being a killer, frequently while coincidentally mentioning looking like "old money"

Still more worried about random homeless people she thinks are ugly. Like regardless of how we got here, this is the paradigm: she seems to be a complete psychopath with zero filter because she's also got a severe psychotic disorder.

Basically if she was always a neonazi and just spent her career "playing neoliberal baseball" with a shit eating grin, its truly a sign of a hilarious god that tila "bride of christ" tequila became too crazy to keep the likeability act going

If she used to be a normal bisexual with some kind of fancy ptsd and then developed so much brain damage that she became a (really paint-by-numbers) nazi, with all the same weirdo simplified beliefs about good and bad and how bad applies intersectionally etc,,,,,,,, we should REALLY--like HELLO THIS IS HUGE--RRRRRRREEEAALLLLLLYYYY, be studying everything we can about her. If ONLY we had a prior brain scan. If ONLY her medical records were leaked so we could see what kind of fuckup from the neckup is actually going on now.

Like her inability to grasp "nuanced" concepts like "god sometimes tests others who dont deserve it per se, either, tila, its not just you being tested, alone, surrounded by the justly agonized of past and present" or "normative physical beauty is not actually indicative of anything more than spare time and neurosis, in this society...so like duh, its absence is not proof of an evil heart"

I feel like thats basic stuff she MUST have had a grasp on in order to behave at all professionally or be at all charming in any context in her life prior to becoming an evil witch...and we actually saw a lot of the 'contexts' she was in on film one way or another over the course of her public life, and she was being professional and/or charming consistently...buuuut maybe in all those contexts everyone around her is affirming her attractiveness (like even tmz reporters) and thats all it takes to get her in bubbling, blushing, stammering-shy dollygirl mode so she seems like, really sweet. Like that still happens, according to her, when she goes out and everyone who has no context for her showers her with attention...except the people who are actually busy with their own problems, which she always goes out of her way to blame on the people having them. There are two kinds of people in tilas world: people who are not too busy to notice and openly admire tila, and evil people who are ugly because theyre evil and should rot in maggots etc etc.

I just want to know more about her brain damage.

Its so weird how she's become a bleeding-edge type-specimen of conservativism like this, its so paradoxical given that she used to be The diversity thottie.

Did her brain go boom and suddenly she just saw things stupider? or did it go boom and suddenly she couldnt act anymore/couldnt stop speaking her truth

Is she just compulsive about her oppositional defiance? and the conventions she defied to create her initial brand, happened naturally to be the opposite of the conventions she found in place to defy, having built that particular career up?

Like does she just always do the opposite of what most people she's hearing from are telling her [and, who she's "hearing from" has gone through radically disparate phases starting with her family, then the LA scene, later texas suburban hermit life etc, we know that] and then leverage the notoriety that inherently creates to get whatever she can out of each new paradigm she unlocks for herself by relying on this high stakes strategy (or, falling back on this exponentially damaging/stigmatizing compulsion)?

Thats so boring!!!! So is "she was always a nazi then she got to be too coocoo to pretend otherwise." Im team "she turned into a nazi because of brain damage", thats the really interesting one.

[brushes-of-sage]

If all 8 parts dont come thru blame tumblr and their ask limit frozen au idea: ok so yeah varian was born with ice powers(btw i have no idea if hugos adopted in this au or not, it might come back later, my brain is just spitting things at me atm)Varian hugo quirin and ulla were a happy family until one day and accident involving alchemy, ice magic, and a startled alchemist involves in both parents getting trapped in a giant amber trap(Hugo comes in just as the amber finishes consuming them)(1/8)

After this, varian is scared of himself and his abilities both in magic and alchemy. He now wears his gloves 24/7 as opposed to just during experimenting(varian is 9, hugo is 8 kinda like elsa and anna but flipped(i think)) Any confidence he had in his abilities is immediately shattered and try as he might he cant seem to free his parents with magic alchemy or both. Hugo tries to help as much he can but varian is too scared and doesnt want to hurt him. After doing some research,(2/8)

he tries to ask for the trolls help but they cant so he requests they erase his memories of varians power, for fear of hurting his brother (he cant seem to keep hugo out of his lab. He feels horrible about it but cant risk hurting his only family left) Btw i dont c varian hurting hugo accidentally as well i dont think he could emotionally handle it, but all u angst writers, knock urselves out. Fast forward a few years and varian is 21 and about to be crowned king bc he still hasnt found(3/8)

a way to free his parents. While at the coronation party hugo meets donella, quickly filling the mother role he wished he had. Little does he know, she is only posing as a foreign dignitary bc she heard rumors about a magical prince hiding in arendelle and wants to exploit/study it. By the end of the evening she determines its not hugo, but hopes getting in hugos good graces could help getting to varian. Fast forward to the ballroom, the brothers argue (about what i dunno), ice spikes, (4/8)

varian runs, hugo leaves to follow him, and leaves donella in charge. I also headcannon he gets his memories back as the movie goes on bc reasons. Along the way, he runs into belle, a hardened ice harvester whos seriously annoyed about this snow storm in july.(dont worry guys hugo and belle dont fall in love, theyre just friends)They trek their way up the mountain while varian builds himself an ice lab cuz hes a dork. Along the way they meet ice ruddiger("Im sorry u 2 made a snow raccoon but(5/8

not a snowman?" "shut up Belle")So they make it to the lab, Hugos impressed, he wants to reconcile, but varian still has Confidence Issues, insert first time in 4evr reprise and whoopsies Hugos heart is frozen and his hair is turning blue(its already blond) and Belle takes him to the trolls. They tell him “an act of true love” like b4 but they interpret it as familial/platonic love bc that love doesnt get enough love. He thinks its donella bc just like how anna was desperate for love,(6/8)

hugo was desperate for some sort of parental figure, and rushes back, insert evil monologue by donella here. The rest of the movie pretty much plays out as b4: varian is captured, donella continues playing good guy, hugo gets out of the locked library, slowly freezing as he makes his way across the fjord insert art by mom, love heals, parents are finally free, gates are open roll credits. This is honestly something ive been thinking about all day and this au now lives in my mind rent free.(7/8)

I know there are plot holes and missing elements, but this is what i have so far, i lowkey love it, and if u have any questions pls ask, i wanna elaborate this au as much as possible and questions will help and pls tag mom i want her to c this. Sorry if this is too long i just have a lot of thoughts. And oh my goodness that means so much that you've gotten invested tysm(8/8) -💙

Response under cut

Okay, first off oh my heart, I need this movie now akfjakfja (and tagging @cinn-a-mom too ‘cause bless)

So lil Varian is the partial cause of the encasement, right? ‘Cause oh gosh, this poor kid being so enthused by alchemy and now has powers and all of that building up to encasing his parents?? Someone give him a hug 🥺🥺 (and omigosh if this does end up being where Hugo is somehow adopted into the family, just ohhhhh, him coming in at that moment is just *tears*)

And ohhhhh, I love how you slightly changed it to, if I understood right, Varian requesting that the trolls take away Hugo’s memories of his powers - ‘cause this kid is just wanting to help and Varian is scared and worried of hurting him, so he sees this as an option to protect him. (And ohhh, while the angst of him accidentally hurting Hugo with his powers is definitely wonderful, now I’m just imagining smol Varian going to the trolls and pleading for them to help and then coming to the decision to take away Hugo’s memories. Like OH MY HEART-)

And ohhh, I don’t think it’d play such a big part in the story, but as they’re both growing up, who’s acting regent at the moment? Or at least I’m just musing how things would be as they’re growing up since they were kids when Quirin and Ulla were encased (and if you don’t have any thoughts for it yet, that’s totally cool 🤗)

Ajfkakfjka Donella posing as a foreign dignitary to find the ‘magical prince’ to study is ahhhhhhhh- And then Hugo being drawn to her as the mother figure he’d always wanted and lacked for so long????? Lemme just

*sobs*

(Ajfkakdj Varian is SUCH A DORK OMIGOSH I LOVE HIM)

And omigosh, the whole dynamics between Belle and Hugo would be hilarious (“Shut up Belle” while she’s laughing yessss) Also snow/ice Ruddiger is absolutely adorable ahhhhh!

Hnnnnnngggg First Time I’m Forever Reprise and Hugo believing that Donella could break the spell (and ahhhhhh, I can just barely imagine how that monologue would go down - how she was never there for him, why would anyone want him - oh gosh, insert “More Than Just the Spare” ‘cause that’s literally how he’s feeling ahhhh - aldjgjlad even more so especially if he was adopted/taken in because he’ll feel even more isolated after all of this had happened, which is another reason why he was drawn to Donella in the first place)

And then cue Cinn’s art where Hugo sacrifices himself for Varian and we’re here to see all of the tears and sobbing and feels akfjakfjaj

BUT OMIGOSH I FREAKING LOVE THIS - Varian and all of his issues in confidence and his struggle to overcome it, Hugo and his issues in wanting to feel loved from having been pushed away for so long, you mentioned Belle was hardened so I’m excited to see her soften up ajfkakdj, and then DONELLA HECK YEAH - I was not expecting the route you took but I love it so much that it gave me chills ahhhhhh.

Wonder how Quirin and Ulla react to all of this once they get out ‘cause they’ve all grown so much and their kingdom as well

I freaking love this AU and the angst lord in me, while quite enjoying the soft and the fluff, is grinning quite malevolently at the angsty scenes hehehehehe, but seriously, this is AWESOME 😱

[hovercraft79]

Winter Song

Ch 32 It’s a Beautiful Day

Chapters: 32/31 Word Count: 1,336 Fandom: The Worst Witch (TV 2017) Rating: Teen Warnings: None Summary: It’s New Year’s Eve Day and Pippa can’t wait to start her day – and her year – with Hiccup. She just hopes Hecate feels the same way.

Notes: I still have about 4 more prompts to do. They’re coming just as fast as I can. 

U2’s song, of course. It’s seems a perfect start for a new year.

 Happy New Year’s All – especially to @cassiopeiasara for putting this thing together. Thank you so much for this opportunity!

Sparky’s back!!! But she slept in and so this is wild and free from her discipline.

This is actually part 2 of the NYE prompt. The two parts will be properly joined together when it gets moved to AO3.

Pippa eased her bedroom door open, slowly tilting her head around and sneaking a peek at Hecate. For a heart-jarring moment, she thought that Hecate had gone. Ignoring the twinge in her ankle, Pippa lurched towards the enlarged sofa, stopping short when she heard a soft snort. Pippa edged closer, the corner of her mouth lifting as she took in the sight before her.

Despite what most people thought, Hecate was not an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ sort of witch. No. Sleep had always been difficult for Hecate, whether it was due to anxiety, nightmares, or her own restless magic constantly humming beneath her skin. But when sleep did come for Hecate, it came hard.

Left to her own devices, Pippa knew that Hecate would be entirely nocturnal. Even as a girl, Hecate had been a creature of the moon and stars far more than she had ever been a creature of the sun.

She also, though Pippa knew she would deny it, took any opportunity for a lie-in very seriously. Hecate was serious about a great many things but sleep most of all. This morning, Hecate had burrowed so far into Pippa’s sofa that she had all but disappeared. Only a tiny tip of Hecate’s braid peeped out from under the pillow. 

Pippa grinned as warmth flooded her chest. This, at least, was old, familiar territory. She loosed a thin stream of magic into the fireplace, setting it to crackling once again, and tiptoed into her kitchen. Compact but functional, Pippa’s kitchen had everything she needed to prepare even elaborate meals. It more than sufficed for what she needed this morning.

Humming softly, Pippa set to work, readying the tea set for later, but first brewing up a strong pot of coffee. She’d shopped earlier, as soon as Hecate had agreed to come for New Year’s, and she was well-stocked on pastries, fruits and compotes, as well as fresh yoghurt. With a flick of her hand, Pippa heated the oven. A second flick summoned a baking sheet and a ham and cheese quiche. Once, that was heating, Pippa arranged everything else on a tray and crept back into the living room, setting the tray on her coffee table as quietly as possible.

A moment later and Pippa was on her knees at the end of her sofa, holding a steaming cup of coffee near where she guessed Hecate’s head would be. “Hiccup? I’ve brought coffee. And breakfast.” Gingerly, Pippa touched what she hoped was Hecate’s back and started rubbing gently. “It’s a beautiful day, Hiccup. I know you don’t want to miss any of it.” She stilled her hand when she felt Hecate take a deep breath, but she didn’t take it away. “That’s it, darling. Coffee’s waiting.” She waved the mug a bit so the aroma would waft around more before setting it on the coffee table with the rest of breakfast. “Come on, Hiccup, let me see those beautiful brown eyes of yours.” The blankets stirred, albeit slightly. “Good girl.” She started rubbing Hecate’s back again, using a little more pressure. The fact that she could have been doing this for the last thirty years gnawed at a dark corner of her brain, but she refused to give it any purchase. Instead, she focused on the possibility of doing this for the next thirty years.

The timer dinged from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back, darling.” Pippa rushed to pull the quiche from the oven. When she returned a few minutes later, a very disheveled Hecate was sitting up, blinking slowly as she looked around the room. “There’s my girl,” Pippa said, warmly. She set the quiche on the tray and handed Hecate the coffee. “I wasn’t sure how you take it, I only know how you like your tea.”

“Black.” Hecate reached for the mug, holding it against her chest and breathing in the aroma. “Caffeine. Pure.”

Pippa giggled and brushed a strand of hair from Hecate’s forehead. She knew Hecate was still more asleep than awake when she didn’t stiffen in the slightest. “Well, then I made it just right, didn’t I?” She pulled the pale pink woven blanket off the end of the sofa and tucked it around Hecate. “There. We don’t want you getting a chill, do we?” She watched Hecate as she finally took a sip of her coffee.

“Did you do all of this?” Hecate nodded at the breakfast tray. “You didn’t need to go to all of this trouble.” She set her mug down on the coffee table. “I really should be getting back to Cackle’s. I’ve taken up enou—”

“Stop. Please, don’t do that, Hiccup.” Pippa fussed with the blanket. “Yes. I did all of this. For you. For us. I have the privilege of spending the first day of the new year with my very favorite person.” She watched the worry in Hecate’s eyes shift slowly into disbelief then amazement. Finally, she saw the barest dip of Hecate’s chin. “Now, stop trying to cut it short and hand me a plate before the quiche gets cold.”

“We’re witches, Pipsqueak. We can heat it up again.” She ran her eyes up and down the pink flannel pajamas. Tiny donuts were printed all over. “Nice pajamas.”

“That we can, Hiccup. And thank you. Your purple ones are nice, too.” Crisis of faith averted, Pippa sliced into the quiche, serving it up with a lemon poppyseed muffin and a dollop of yoghurt. “Here you go. Nothing too sweet.” They ate in companionable silence for a while, listening to the crackling fire. “Do you have anything special you do on New Year’s Day, Hiccup?” Pippa asked at last. She realized again how much of one another’s lives they’d missed. Was she keeping Hecate from something important to her? “I guess I should have asked that before I bullied you into staying.”

The fork paused halfway to Hecate’s mouth then slowly lowered back to the plate. “I usually spend the day reading or organizing my cupboards. I might have tea with Ada if she hasn’t any other plans.” She took a steadying breath before continuing. “I could hardly call it bullying if the thing you want me to do is something I want to do as well.” Hecate smiled and looked down quickly, studying her slice of quiche intently before taking another bite.

Pippa was smiling too hard to eat. Or drink her coffee. Or do much of anything except enjoy the fact that Hecate wanted to be here. With her. Finally, she shook herself out of her happy haze. “I wonder then, Hiccup, if you’d care to take part in one of my favorite New Year’s Day traditions?”

“Certainly… Is it a chant or a ritual?”

“Oh, no, Hiccup… nothing like that.” She cocked her head to the side, thinking about it. “Well… maybe it is a bit of a ritual.” She held her hand out and summoned the remote control for her television. “Have you ever seen the Rose Parade? It’s in California, in America.”

“I know where California is, Pip. And no, why would I have seen an Ordinary parade?”

“The Ordinaries may do it, Hiccup, but it’s far from ordinary. Every float must be completely covered in plant material. You’ll love it.” Pippa held up the remote, enticingly. “What do you say?”

Hecate shook her head indulgently. “Very well, Pipsqueak. Let’s see if these Ordinaries even know the proper names for the plants.”

Pippa clicked through the menu, watching Hecate out of the corner of her eye as she followed her every move. Did Hecate even have a television? “Here we go.” She tossed the remote down on the sofa and leaned back, summoning her tea again.

Before Pippa could settle in, Hecate cleared her throat and lifted the edge of her blanket. “We’d wouldn’t want you to get a chill, either, would we?”

“We certainly wouldn’t,” she said, scooting towards Hecate and under the blanket. “We wouldn’t want that at all.”