#i dont know where i will put the foil during the day time bc i do hang out here when im awake

[orcelito]

Anti cat-piss measures

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[badatusernames]

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

[biobab]

undergrad immunology internship: 3/14 update!

SO its basically been a month since I started working, and so far, I'm really enjoying it!

50% of what I do is media and buffer prep, which maybe would include making antibiotic plates on some days, and 50% plasmid processing. oh and 30% of that first 50% is running around the building checking and waiting for and fixing the autoclaves.

but boy howdy have I learned a lot! I'm way more confident making buffers and sterile solutions from stock reagents. I was so lost at first bc I had to learn where to find everything, learn their waste disposal procedures and the most efficient way to make certain media. because it was QUITE A SHOCK to me that agar settles within 0.5 seconds in a graduated cylinder, thus sticking to the bottom when you try to pour it out??? yeah so "1L of plate media" actually means "1L of media + 15g of agar".

ok so this gets REALLY LONG and i go into detail what my day is like, so if u into that keep reading but tl;dr,,, i’m learning a lot and doing things!!!

I've also learned labs should REALLY invest in disposable metates or somethin bc a lot of crystalline reagents form clumps that are like ROCKS. so i'll spend like a good minute chopping up salt crystals with the tiny side of a scapula when it really needs 5 seconds with a mortar and pestle. but ANYWAYS

buffers were scary at first bc I nearly accidentally inhaled the imidazole (why the FUCK does it smell like that??) but they are super chill and easy now, more a waiting game for things to dissolve anyway.

so like 40% of my job is autoclaving a buncha stuff, and always gotta be autoclaving 250mL flasks. now there are like 3 different brands of flasks the lab uses, and all are valid but have different shaped mouths (like the top of the flask). there are the Lipped Ones, the Skinny Guys and my favorite,, the Chunky Bois!!! i gotta cut EXTRA large aluminum foil for them, bc boy they got GIRTH. anyhow i am just a stones throw from naming and recognizing each individual flask of the maybe 100 in the lab :-)

the autoclaves i may also name too. there are three in the building. the north one is the Good Child who occasionally acts up and refuses to work, but that has only happened once this whole past month. the south one is Extremely Problematic and will just,, refuse to open and scream as it holds hostage your stuff, until to call Walter, its only friend, to coax it back open (S.O. TO WALTER THE FACILITIES ENGINEER HE'S A HOMIE). and then theres the Forbidden One, which we of the first floor are technically not allowed to use, as its on the second floor and only for those labs to use. but,, if we really weren't supposed to use it, why would they install an elevator? 🤔

so we use it when Extremely Problematic is screaming and Good One is in use.

now finally the benchpros. these little powerhouses i love them but tina-marie (who is SERIOUSLY one of the coolest ladies I've ever met and I have SO MUCH respect for her and she STILL catches me off guard with how nice and understanding she is, despite how stressed she always seems, which is pretty understandable she does so much) always talks about them with a suspicious trust, as if they are only communicating in the midst of a cease-fire. anyways they extract and purify DNA from e. coli cultures, which you just dump into a tub, insert some cartridges and press "run". i like how compact and easy they are to use, and when you finally collect the purified DNA there is like a sense of small excitement bc you're like "hm! lets see what we got!". the moment of truth is getting DNA concentrations of at least 300 ug/ul, and lately we've gotten upwards of 1000 ug/ul! which is weird but not bad.

anyhow the other interns are really nice, esp. the one i work with the most, she goes to SDSU and is really sweet, its nice to talk 100% comfortably with someone there. everyone else is super nice, but also tend to keep to themselves when working (besides tina-marie). I kind of prefer that actually, I find I do best when I'm working by myself, bc I dont have to worry about what someone else is doing or coodinate. I have more stuff to do, but I actually really like the constant pace and always having something to do. its very fulfilling to start with a whole list of stuff to do in the beginning of the day, planning how to tackle it in your head as you put your hair up, then gradually wipe off every task you complete, until there is nothing left before you leave, a little tired but happy everything is done and done right.

SPEAKING of done right,, I've had a few whoopies (besides the agar debacle.....) but none too serious and I've recovered well, havent made the same mistake twice. First was forgetting to vaccum filter a buffer solution, then foiling the LB flasks for autoclave while floating the caps, then not finishing the processing of a couple cultures, then using TBS to blank the nanodrop when I should have used water, and today discovering I used the wrong LB tablets to make media (I DIDNT KNOW WHAT LENNOX WAS BUT APPARENTLY ITS DIFFERENT FROM NORMAL LB). more affirmed that asking questions is a good thing!!

all in all, I really enjoy working there and I really hope I can do full time during the summer. if not, I can easily still do part-time but I'll probably have to do something on the side as well (grubhub, taskrabbit, esty?)

this was REALLY LONG but i wanna document my journey through this so. idk if someone reads this plz like and maybe give feedback maybe it'll help someone idk!

thas all for now~~~

[bxnseki-archive]

// stole this OC questions sheet from here! super fun ya’ll should do it :’0

if you want to do it pls do i want. to kno abt ur ocs. you dont need to do all 100 bc i sure af didn’t

1. What is your OC’s name? Kimiko Ijichi 2. What is your OC’s gender? DFAB - Cis - she/her 3. What is your OC’s sexual orientation? Demi-asexual! 4. How old are they? I typically rp her as 16, but I like to imagine her in her late teens or early 20s 5. What species are they- human, animal, alien, robot, none of the above? Human 6. What is their family like? Do they have one? Yes!  She’s an only child with a mother and father.  Gengyo is a very loving and passionate father, though tends to be neurotic, paranoid, and spoils his daughter to no end.  Ritsuko is also a loving mother who puts compassion for others as a first priority, but has been struggling with her dysthymia and thus has been a less enthusiastic parent in Kimiko’s life.  More info on Gengyo here, and more info on Ritsuko here! 7. Who is their best friend? Why? Her designated best friend was and forever will be Isaki Matsuna.  Kimiko refuses to refer to anyone else as a best friend.  Isaki had been with Kimiko since early elementary school.  Her typical form of expressing affection was through taunting, and while that did seem odd to Kimiko, Isaki truly did care for and look out for her.  They were complete foils of each other; ultimately, they were perfect contrasts. 8. Do they have a partner/significant other? Why are they together/not together? Zak & I are working on a ship, but we have yet to really rp the start of it -- so no. 9. What is their most prized possession? Why is it so important? A ribbon from a beginner’s level riding competition!  It was the only competition she rode in, and she only got 7th place (they gave ribbons to all the competitors), but Isaki was there to train her, to cheer for her and put it in a really fancy frame.  The framed ribbon is nailed right above her desk at home! 10. Do they prefer to be warm or cold? She prefers to be chilly. 11. If they could only eat one food for the rest of their life, what would it be? No way would she settle for this. 12. Is there anything they’d like to change about themselves physically? She really wishes she had long hair like Isaki’s.  Down to the butt.  But she would never be able to manage it. 13. Who is the most important person in their life? Isaki was and always will be her inspiration; but from someone who is living, her father!  Although he’s eccentric, he’s the light of her life, as is she to him! 14. Are they a cat person? A dog person? An okapi person? Birds!!  She’d love to have an African gray parrot when she retires!  Calm, friendly cats seem like nice companions, too. 15. What sort of books do they like to read (if they like to read)? Mystery, thriller, crime, autobiographies and memoirs, and books on psychology mainly.  She doesn’t strictly stay with these genres, though. 16. What’s their favorite thing to do on a rainy weekend? Turn on the news channel or turn on the radio and listen to the police scanner.  Arrange her blossoms from her flower pressing into little designs to frame.  Study, ofc.  And go shopping. 17. Where were they born? Hiroo, Shibuya 18. Where do they want to live? She wouldn’t mind staying in Japan, but doesn’t need to stick with where she’s living now (Ikebukuro).  She does prefer big cities, though. 19. Do they have a job? As a student, no.  But during college she’d probably get a part time job as a waitress or something before getting her internship.  Then she’d intern at a therapy facility only to start work as a psychologist & therapist.  Slowly but surely, she’d move her way on to more difficult, struggling people involved with touchy cases.  But that wouldn’t be until she’s in her mid-30s. 20. If they could work anywhere, where would it be? Chicago.  A big city full of crime. 21. Do they use any sort of weapon? If not, what would they want if they could have one? When she starts to work as a criminal psychologist with rather dangerous people, authorities would prompt her to keep a taser on her.

22. Do they have any sort of special power/what power would they want? Nope.  Wouldn’t want any.

23. What’s their fashion sense? Form-fitting comfy young hipster librarian with pastels.

24. What do they think of snakes? Interesting, but keep them away from her or so help me God.

25. What is their biggest pet peeve? Regarding someone as a bad person for mistakes they have made in the past.

26. What is their greatest fear? Not being recognized for her work in her department, and that she won’t be able to help any of her clients or the police force.

27. Do they have any sort of disability, disorder, or health issue? I am thinking about her having dysthymia like her mom, or some other form of depression, since trauma can be “passed down” and she’s gone through a lot.  Still trying to figure out where and how that’d fit though.  She’s also lactose intolerant if that qualifies here.

28. Who is the person they hate the most in their life? She tries not to hate, and she doesn’t truly hate anyone, but her ex-boyfriend Hoitsu Mifune is someone she really, truly, strongly dislikes.

29. Is there anyone they want to be more like? Isaki.  She was always super cheerful, fun-loving, spontaneous, and very go with the flow.

31. Their home is on fire- what do they do? Get out of there according to the fire escape plan she and her family have practiced.

32. Do they like children? Yes!!  While rowdy ones tend to annoy her a bit, she still likes them all the same!

33. Would they rather take a short cut or take the scenic route? Depends on where she’s going.  If it’s a lazy day with no plans, scenic route always.

34. What’s their strongest belief? If you don’t care for others, you’re not human; you’re a monster.

35. What’s their opinion on lying? It can come in handy from time to time, so long as it’s not meant to harm anyone.

38. Which family member are they closest to, if any? Her father as of lately.

39. Do they ever want to get married and/or have kids? YES. YES. YES. YES. yes.

40. What was the hardest decision they ever had to make in their life? Going to see Isaki’s father in the hospital while he was on his death bed.

41. What was the happiest day of their life? Not sure.

43. How did they meet their last/current/future significant other? Or their best friend, if non-applicable? She met Isaki in elementary school when they were partnered up together to do a report.  They were inseparable after that.  After Isaki’s death, Kimiko met Hoitsu when she was 15 through a teammate on the tennis team.  They were together for nine months before she ended it.

44. If they were a class in a fantasy RPG, what class would it be? Probably a cleric.

45. Do they have any birthmarks or scars that they’re embarrassed by? She does have some birthmarks running up her legs and some on her chest, but she’s not embarrassed by them.

46. What’s their favorite color? Lavender

47. Do they have any piercings or tattoos? Do they want any/any more? Her ears are pierced, but that’s it.  She’s content with that.

48. Have they ever tried drugs or alcohol? Nope!

49. Are they an idealist or a realist? Idealist

50. Are they more introverted or extroverted? Extroverted!

51. What is their main goal in life? To become a criminal psychologist.

52. What are they willing to sacrifice to accomplish that goal? Her time, her well being, her friends.

53. Would they ever kill somebody (what would they consider a justifiable reason to kill someone?) Nope!  Not at all.

54. Have they ever kissed someone? Do they want to? She kissed Hoitsu a few times, though he was uninterested by it.  She likes romance, so I guess she wants to?

55. Have they always been comfortable with their sexual/gender identity, or is it something they’ve struggled with? No, she doesn’t even know she is demi-asexual.  She just thinks she’s uninterested because she isn’t ready to be sexually intrigued by someone.  Which is technically true.

56. Do they have any special ability or marking that sets them apart from others of their species/race? Why is it so remarkable or strange? Nnno?

58. If they had a Tumblr, what would they blog about? TBFH. she’d probably be either a studyblr or post about psychology and self care.

59. Any kinks or fetishes? Rich-Looking People.

60. If they only had one day left to live, what would they do? Say her goodbyes to her friends and family, then cry.

61. If they found a wallet with the equivalence of 200 dollars in it, what would they do? Find the ID and report it to the police to be given back.

62. If they live in a world without magic/without mainstream magic, do they believe in magic? Excluding Kiyo, no she doesn’t believe in it.

63. If they could have any pet ever, what would it be? AFRICAN GRAY PARROT. PLEASE.

64. Who is the person they admire most? Why? Isaki; go back to #7 and #29

65. Do they think they are attractive? Yes!

66. What is their biggest regret? Not asking for Isaki and her family to stay home the night of the crash.

67. What would they do for a klondike bar? she’d kill a man

68. The most important person in their life has been bitten by a zombie/whatever qualifies as a zombie in their world. Do they put them out of their misery, or try to find an alternative? Find an alternative.  If it resulted in having to kill her father, then she’d kill herself afterwards.

69. Is there anyone in their life they just can’t say no to? Why? Her mother; she knows she’s struggling with a lot of things and can’t seem to balance all she needs to, so she wants to help her in any way possible.

70. Are they more math, science, or art oriented? Science!

71. Is there anything they like that would be considered geeky in their world? Forensics??? Maybe?  Just knowing and spewing weird trivia about it?

72. Did they/would they leap at the call to adventure, or were they/would they have to be dragged along? If asked, she’d happily tag along, so long as safety is guaranteed.

73. Do they think there is more to life than whatever they are doing right now? Oh yeah.

75. What’s their most positive trait? She’s utterly compassionate.

76. What’s their fatal flaw? She’s utterly compassionate -- to the point where she needs to baby those who are struggling, which in turn sacrifices her well being and ultimately doesn’t help those she’s caring for.  Savior complex tbh.

77. What do their friends/family/teammates find most annoying about them? She’s loud, most jokes go over her head, she’s blunt, and she probably is nosy about their lives.  She just has to know if they need her.

78. What are their biggest strengths? She knows how to remain calm and rational during a panicked event; compassionate; ambitious; does her best not to be judgmental.

79. What are their weaknesses? She has a savior complex; very invasive about personal lives; self-sacrificial; depressed; spoiled.  Fun fun.

80. What is most memorable about their appearance? Uhh either her height or her eyebrows?

82. Do they dwell on the past, or live in the moment? OH BOY.  She preaches about living in the moment, and accepting and learning from the past to progress in The Now.  BUT.  She dwells.

83. Why is their main goal so important to them? What set them on that path? Becoming a criminal psychologist interested her at the age of nine; it was said to be an exciting job that paid very well.  But after Isaki’s death and evidence to show that she was involved with drug use/dealing and underage gambling, Kimiko changed her mindset.  She now wants to become one since she knows criminals are still people.  She wants to help them in any way she can, to help them lead healthy lives again.

84. Do they believe that people are inherently good? YES. She’s adamant about it.

87. Is there any other fictional character you would compare them too, personality or appearance-wise? tbh I did start to design her with traits from Ishimaru and Kirigiri.  So I guess them?

89. What sort of music do they/would they like? Pop!  Soft pop about romance is typically what she listens to when she’s doing her work.

90. What do they consider the worst evil in the world? Abuse, cruelty and neglect to children, as that traumatizes them and sets them up for a difficult life, only to repeat the abuse to their children.

91. What’s the closest they’ve been to dying (or, if they’re already dead, how did they die)? She attempted suicide soon after Isaki’s father died in the hospital, as he was the last of her immediate family who was living.  She attempted by hanging, but her knot was lousy and undid itself.

93. Do they like their name? Is there any name they’d rather have? She does!  Ijichi is a name rather well-known since her father’s family has an attorneys practice starting with her great grandfather Ijichi.

94. What is the significance of their name? Kimiko ( 君子 ) means “noble child”; Ijichi ( 伊地知 ) I cannot find the meaning of for the life of me. Italy, earth, knowledge? idk

95. Have they ever been bullied? Have they ever bullied anyone? There’s always bullying in the school yard; she’s never been horribly bullied, nor worried too much about it.  Isaki was the one who would usually torment others, so Kimiko was just her henchman.

96. Are they a light or heavy sleeper? Average?

97. What do they dream about when they sleep? idk, random things. Dreams are weird.

98. Do they prefer an urban or a rural setting, or something else? She does like rural settings to stay at for a while, but ultimately she’s a big fan of urban settings.

99. Is there any moment or event that they feel defines their life and who they are now? Isaki’s death.

100. Why is this character important? To you, and/or to their world? Oh man.  When I get an idea for an OC, it’s always in a short spurt, so pretty much all my OCs are really under-developed.  But for whatever reason, I stuck with developing Kimiko.  RPing her also helped SO MUCH in terms of figuring out why she is the way she is and adding new traits and perspectives to her. idk.  I just love her a lot and I’m glad my pals here like her as much as they do. ;;;

[pldubrahs]

anyway, this has been a While coming and now im back in new orleans so LOTS OF GUSHING ABOUT THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL, UNDER THE CUT

the ambiance of the theater, dim and filled with soft storm sounds

this show does really beautiful things with overlapping singing and w harmonys and its So low budget but still so good and the cast is small but amazing and literally everyone but chris is cast into several roles and its just amazing

if u dont wanna read this whole thing, just scroll down to the end for a Special Surprise

ACT 1

the Bitter, Angry, Sad music, ltm is truly the Emo Rock Musical we deserve

i seriously almost fell out of my chair when chris mccarrell came out. he honest to god was SUCH a good percy, so fidgety and all his expressions were ON POINT

“CHROOONOOOOOOOS”

ms dodds in General she was hilarious for the literal 3 minutes she was onstage

the pen to sword transformation is literally just: chris hides the pen and grabs the sword from somewhere else onstage. during my show, in the ms dodds fight scene, the sword was on the back of chirons wheelchair and it got stuck so he had to trip after the chair as chiron wheeled off and TUG it off to fight

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED CHRIS MCCARRELL AND HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS? BECAUSE I DO AND IT W A S

sally is a BLACK WOMAN 

just in general, this show was Amazing at raceblind casting

sally sprayed febreeze after smelly gabe, like he leaned to look in the fridge and she stood behind him spraying febreeze directly at him for like 30 seconds

“he was handsome and strong and before too long- you came!” percy was roasting marshmallows and looking out towards the audience and sally was rubbing up and down the sides of her body during this before “you came!” and it was v funny

Strong in general was Great bc WOW IM LOVE THE “NORMALCY IS A SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED MYTH” MESSAGE

grover and percy meeting outside camp

“oh look a goat” “percy!”

“he met a furie” “youre all furry! what happened to your legs”

the v cute friendship bickering, overlapping voices thing that percy and grover v often did. this was the grover and percy friendship that we always needed

during the weird dream when he sees annabeth and hes like “gee whiz shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen”

and then when he officially meets her after hes not out of it, he says “youre my dream girl!” and then backpedals and its great

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY. DEFFS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SONGS. MR D IN GENERAL WAS JUST AMAZING, GEORGE SALAZAR ROCKED IT

he kicked the chair over so much and then there was a part after his camp halfblood intern thing left so his chair didnt get reset behind him and so he kicked into the air, got frustrated, and put the chair up himself

“of course, who am i to give relationship advice, im literally the god of alcohol”

“you can hate it here, but i HATED IT FIRST”

so so so many Soft sex jokes and bc im a Child i loved them 

chiron is just a guy galloping with a horse tail its the cutest thing and everyone laughed bc like imagine a kid galloping w their legs high and w/e, but on an adult and slow motion

“you’ll get used to mr d. he can be a bit... well, he hates children”

luke was Very attractive and ALSO he had a lot of chemistry w percy and w annabeth and i, who remembered shipping percy and luke back in my Youth, was Living

annabeth deffs had a crush on luke dont @ me

also luke was Softly bitter. like he sounded like a modern kid, bitter and upset but saying it in a joking way; totally makes sense that no one suspects that he’d do anything w chronos bc all the kids are upset and he doesnt get dark until the very end of the show

“are you ever going to wear pants again?” “Nope!”

luke: “havent you ever played capture the flag?” percy, excitedly: “not with swords!” *makes swooshy lightsaber noises* annabeth, suffering, full of regret: “It’s not a lightsaber.”

“sexist much?” “no, i love girls” [muffled luke and grover cackling in the background]

CLARISSE, LOVE OF MY LIFE! her song was so so good

im sure everyone has mentioned this but the LEAF BLOWERS BLOWING TOILET PAPER TO REPRESENT WATER LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE

the campfire song

percys Soft concern for annabeths story about running away “wait is that true”

grover starting to cry during his part

“my father is chronos.... remember my lecture, he ate his children””....... chiron wins”

APHRODITE'S DAUGHTER’S STORY “godess of love, my moms aphrodite... i bring home a boy and shes there in her nightie! oh nooooo” “she steals my mascara and all of my dates!” wonderful

percy sings nicely about his mother and everyones like “hes doing it wrong”

“we dont care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me!” FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME EMO

“havent you noticed that there arent any other little sea godlings running around? any sons of hades or daughters of zeus? the big three gods arent supposed to have kids!” i loved this tiny easter egg i love my big three kids

“look at the boy, hes clearly not a thief!” “oh, yeah no yeah yeah yeah no no yeah yeah no yeah no, youre right! you cant fake being that stupid unless youre a brilliant actor, but im also the god of drama, so i can tell you HES NOT”

“his lightning?” “yeah, we're not talking some crummy tin foil zig zag from some off broadway play!”

GOOD KID IS EVEN BETTER LIVE THAN IT WAS ON THE RECORDING IT RUINED MY LIFE

Killer Quest! is an amazing end of act song and v upbeat and cute

“so where is the underworld actually” “look for doa records” “its a record company? actually, im not surprised”

ACT 2

WE’RE LOST IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY AND WE’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO LA

“half bloods to monsters smell like mickey ds, like tacos or take out vietnamese”

“dude are you talking to the squirrel?” “satyr powers, be nice. this squirrel knows every corner of the woods, maybe he can help us” “really? because i think that seems kind of nuts” [silence] “you hurt his feelings. tell the squirrel youre sorry.”

medusa in general, what a Good scene

ensemble members shaking maracas to make snake noises for her

medusa cant say “nemesis”

“ive done everything to prove to the gods that im the best and you- i mean, you dont even know how to hold a sword” “yes i do!, yes... i do...” “no, hands here *adjusts percys grip*” “i didnt ask for any of this: gods, monsters, quests- oh, wow, that is a lot easier”

my grand plan is the most annabeth chase song ever and i love it its such a good look into her character and i love her so much

“when boys mess up they always get another chance”

“cause most girl never win if theyre polite”

THE COMMENTARY ON HOW WOMEN HAVE TO BE IN TODAYS SOCIETY IN ORDER TO BE TAKE SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH

“the gods will think we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent”

the squirrel gave them three amtrak tickets

DRIVE IS A COUNTRY SONG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IM HONESTLY SHOOK

i hate country except for this One Song

ITS ONE FOOT FORWARD AT A TIME; DUST OFF ALL THAT GRIT AND GRIME; WE STILL GOT A LOT LEFT TO DOOOO, CAUSE PEOPLE ARE COUNTIN ON US AND IM COUNTIN ON YOU! DRIIIIIIIIVE JUST DRIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIVE STAY AHEAD STAY AHEAD STAY ALIIIIIIIVE

“is that chihuahua?” “its a chimera!”

“maybe if you hadnt brought all those dam snacks” “uh it was the hoover dam and i was hungry!”

ares drives them to las vegas and when they get there he says “this is where i... get off” and its HILARIOUS i love lowkey sex jokes

gentle easter egg to bianca and nico re: may 1st 1939

“the oracle can can it ill save my mom and savE THE PLANET!” im love percy so much

tREE ON THE HILL IS ABOUT THALIA AND IT MADE ME CRY GOD WHAT A GOOD SONG and grover feels like a failure and annabeth is like “no u saved my life ur a good friend and a good guardian <3 friendship”

THE FERRYMAN TO THE UNDERWORLD FLIRTS WITH GROVER

“you wanna hear my demo?” “uh-” [loud music plays] “im sorry i couldnt hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

YOURE IN THE D.O.A. AND YOURE HERE TO STAY YEAH YOURE STUCK FOREVER NEVER GET AWAY NO HOPE FOR SURVIVAL YOURE DEAD ON ARRIVAL

“oh! do you have any josh groban?” “we will.” I CACKLED

DJ CEBERUS W A COOL 3-HEADED DEADMAU5 ESQUE MASK

the ferryman also attacks them all like “youre not gonna save the planet, you wont protect your friends, you wont be remembered”

everyone says this but “i think this pit is tartarus” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE?”

“why would chronus want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes”

bitter, sad hades who just wants people to stop thinking that hes the bad guy and for his brothers to come visit him

“one does not simply walk out of the underworld”

W H A T  B E L O N G S  T O  T H E  S E A  C A N  A L W A Y S  R E T U R N

small reprise of good kid as he considers hades offer and then the melody cHANGES and percy realizes that the seashell, a gift from a god, can SAVE THEM and its beautiful because SON OF POSEIDON IS A GOOD SONG

“maybe my dad was a screwup too, his best laid plans always falling through... maybe he never knew how to care but hey, thats life, and life aint fair... but i think my dad mayve thrown me a line, and better late than never, ill finally get a sign!”

its a good song kids

the kids get to the oceans and they FIGHT ARES and ares and percy are both singing, percy singing The Son Of Poseidon chorus and ares singing Put You In Your Place and its b e a u t i f u l

THE TOILET PAPER THROW- basically they bring in like 6 leafblowers w toilet paper rolls attached and the first five rows get covered in toilet paper. as someone who was in the fifth row, it was amazing

poseidon comes in, they have a Heart To Heart, he brings sally back to life, he flirts with sally, its hilarious and awkward

“the gods are unfair but we’re not total dicks”

percys like “you dont have to stay w gabe anymore” and sallys like “smh boy u cant solve all my problems. you saved my life, now i have to figure out how to live it”

he gives her medusas head

“what is this” “its a... do it yourself scupture kit” “oh! *begins to open it*” “no no no its, um, medusas head”

“well, as my official protector, you can officially escort us back to camp” “and youre conscience this time!”

chiron is also cast as poseidon so like he runs into the camp scene after a quick change and says “i hoofed it here as quick as i could!” 

last day of summer happens and w/e its cute but whAT REALLY MATTERS IS LUKES BETRAYAL: okay so the music slows and goes into the minor key and percys like “we still dont know whos working w chronos :/” lukes like “yeah it sucks” and he starts singing about how he doesnt trust the gods and how the gods hate them and how they need to take over the world and put the gods in their place--he and percy do their handshake fist-to-the-chest thing and luke is serious and percy does it but hes v confused and it Hurts. this is the first time in the show that luke sounds just Bitter and Angry instead of jokingly deprecating and its quite the effect

THE DARK GOOD KID REPRISE 

“ill do anything, i dont care if i hurt anyone, it doesnt pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son" GOD IT HURTS luke has so much pain and i feel so bad for him like yeah hes evil but,,, hes had a hard life

annabeth comes in and DISARMS LUKE but PSYCH luke has a small switchblade and STABS PERCY IN THE BACK (bc they cant use scorpions onstage)

percybeth moment interrupted by clarisse’s loud coughing and grover

percys like “we cant just sit here and wait for our parents to fix things.”

“the gods will say we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent” goddamn that symmetry

“are we ever gonna once have it easy?” my poor poor kids

percy- “feeling ready” annabeth- “feeling stoked” grover- “feeling queasy”

THE SEA DOESNT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED

bring on the monsters is just a Good song

also hey if you got to the end of this, congrats! i have a ltm audio and either in a message or in an off-anon ask and ill hook u up

[drawlynnfaves]

goddd im so done even though the end of the semester is coming soon

one of my roommates (the one whos room is riiiight next to mine so i hear her loud music and yacking to her friends every single day and night of my life) is literally the worst and also treats me like crap. so like, here’s how it is. the other roommate, K, is nice to me and would try to chip in on occasion. Terrible roommate, S, has never, and has bought almost nothing ever that all 3 of us use.

Guess what I buy that she also uses? all hand soap, all paper towels, all paper plates, all napkins, all cleaner, all toilet paper (big one), scrub brush, dish soap, sponges, aluminum foil, sugar, etc. And I got a few dollars from K back for it and 0 from S. because we’re (I am) idiots and didnt properly set any rules or know how to confront each other now about chipping in and she buys nothing EVER. BUT ANYWAY

I literally dont do anything to encroach on anyones space, i keep spaces i use clean, I stay very quiet. I took out the big trash we all use every time except two (2) times this whole year we’ve lived together at this apartment, and took it out even when 90% of the trash was from S. 

I can’t sleep when I have to hear loud noise. I put up with all the noise S has made all last semester until on one of the LAST DAYS i finally texted her at 4 AM BECAUSE SHE KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT like “im sorry, not to bother you but im trying to sleep and have to get up at 6 am tomorrow so can you please talk quieter? sorry.” and she finally shut up for once.... until this semester when i started sending texts every time shes kept me up, and now she ignores every single one, doesnt answer, and doesnt stop. ive worked up the courage to knock on the door to ask her to be quieter. she says okay, and doesnt stop. i wear earplugs and smush pillows over my head and nearly suffocate myself and sometimes can still hear her anyway. 

i literally do not ask for a fricking lot. but it does not end there. 

i dont care if people do weed, i think people can do whatever the frick they want with their lives, i really do, and honestly think its fine for people to do it. just not when its smoking in the contained space i have to live and breathe and sleep in for the day. i put up with it ALL SEMESTER wearing stuff over my face so i wouldnt have to gag on it while im trying to sleep. other roommate K also cant stand it but is more scared than me to ever say anything. My endless patience is wearing thin at this point so finally, after a very big incident of it where she had her hookah right out in the living room with 5 ppl over (btw we’re not allowed to have more than 2 guests, or do weed at all inside here or smoke anything) and smelling up the whole place as usual, i finally work up the courage to ask her “can you please not smoke it in this apartment? i really cant stand it (would have mentioned K but didnt want to speak for her) and it really smells up the whole apartment.” she looks at me warily and is like “...ok.”

she comes back in the living room and puts it back on even stronger. also THROWS A FIT to her friends, yelling “CANT WAIT TO MOVE THE FUCK OUT AND DO WHAT I WANT” bc i asked her to please not do it here.

 the next couple of days still does it. im so upset and get so close to calling the university-affiliated apartment ppl on her but never did, even when i tried to text her one time later that she ignored. she even did it today.

but it doesnt end there either

warning: NSFW topic ahead i guess if anyone reads this? also suicide mention (though nothing graphic just wanting to)

so i have to hear her have loud, loud sex. i have something wrong with me where if i have to hear actual people have sex and make noises from it i want to die and sob because im SO GROSSED OUT and cant take it and would rather be actually dead than hear it. she moans and grunts and gets spanked so loud my noise-blocking headphones dont even block it aqll out and i get so so upset. just had to go through that tonight too and had to curl up in a ball and cry bc theres nothing else i can do to cope. i just dont know what to do. every option feels like itll make things worse for me no matter what i do. 

and i would leave the apartment when this happens, but theres literally nowhere to go and its night and im in my pajamas and i have to sleep here. 

it also doesnt. end. there.

she heard me talking to my friend on the phone, trying to calm down after getting upset having to hear her have sex for the 4th time that day. she heard me telling my friend how i want to kill myself, how i hate myself, because i cant bring myself to do anything and face S about anything and im so upset. 

S later has a party this same night with like 8 people here, playing drinking games (youre not allowed to drink here but i wouldnt care if she wasnt a pain in the ass). she tells her friends about me, even though theyre all right outside my door so of course I hear. they all mock-say depressed phrases, like “oooh, i want to cut myself. oooh, i want to juuump.” and go on about how stupid white people are for being suicidal. i.. was mortified. and wanted to die more

i still dont do anything about any of this. if i called during any of the instances where she was drinking or smoking or doing anything in here she wouldve gotten kicked out of this apartment a long time ago.

it makes it even harder bc tonight wouldve been the last straw but she started having sex after smoking her weed and i didnt want to have the apartment ppl come and barge in on her having sex?? i cant knock on her door during that either so im like... idk 

I still do nothing after all this. i am such a coward.  the most i could do and just did was leave a note in response to one of HER many passive aggressive notes to us about keeping things clean (which is a whole nother one of her issues bc she herself keeps nothing clean) where, i was like “yea that dish wasnt from me. p.s. stop having sex so loud thanks.”

i heard her just now laugh and throw the note out and say something about me bc she fricking hates me

god i just want peace. i want to leave so bad. we only have a week left but idk how im going to make it with her. im about ready to freak out at her after all this built up all year but i dont think i will bc i know itll end with her just making things worse for me

[professorjjong]

 me rambling about mdzs (the novel) bc it’s literally six am my body woke me up at 4 am for the sole purpose of finishing it and i finished it and then started reading the post script but it was like my heart was wylie coyote it wasn’t until a few minutes after i’d finished it that i realized i was destroyed

good book

sdkfjesiofhdcklwjfioe ok wei wuxian carries like the first fourth of the book. there’s so many fucking characters and names like wtf was going on. it wasn’t made clear what wei wuxian was doing or why--and tbh i don’t think it ever really is, his intentions. like, where was he planning to go after mo village? what was he planning on doing? when he leaves cloud recesses with lan wangji, why does he stay with him at all--why not just run the fuck off? he didn’t know, at this point, that lan wangji knew who he was so why would he risk it? the one thing that was made clear about wei wuxian’s intentions after he had been brought back to life were that he did not want to be recognized, so why would he stick around with lwj? 

for that first fourth, wei wuxian didn’t hesitate in where he was going or why or whatever he was just, going and doing things for no good reason and i didn’t know why and it was frustrating, following around a character who doesn’t seem to have any idea what he wants and also doesn’t even hesitate to think about it. but ugghhh he’s such an interesting character. his past, only teased, seemed super interesting and had created a man who interacted with his surroundings in a comedic and almost flippant way. it made the fantasy elements, buttload of information about cultivation and its sects and enemies as well as the sheer number of characters less intimidating--yes, because it probably wasn’t until almost halfway through that I was able to figure everything out, but i had wwx to hold onto. he’s a suuuuper strong character and was so, so fun to read about i miss him :( 

lwj truly didn’t do anything for me until near the very end when the events following the siege at the nightless city were revealed. i didn’t dislike him as a character, i thought he was fine--but i didn’t think he was as good of a foil to wwx as he could have been. i mean, they’re clearly meant to be foils--one is dressed in black and the other in white. u don’t even need to know anything else aside from that information to know that they’re foils. but i don’t think lwj was a strong enough presence to really “oppose” wwx for most of the novel. honestly, he didn’t even feel present for the first, what, 3/4? it wasn’t until wwx really started developing and even acting out on his feelings that lwj stepped into prominence. the emphasis of the novel, its focus, had shifted along with wwx’s toward lwj. compared to wwx, lwj is almost colorless as a character. yes hahahahahahha more color differences between them but i think, in order for characters to really function as foils, they need to be on equal footing, if only in the framing of the novel. but they weren’t. even during the flashbacks, there was an unevenness to it. at times, lwj felt almost like an afterthought. i remember myself thinking, ‘oh, lwj is there too.’ which yeah, he is quiet, but he’s there. his presence was not always made clear, and, since wwx is such a bright beacon and such an overwhelming chaotic presence, don’t you think lwj should have been a bigger presence to properly be his foil? it’s not until the very end, truly, that the two of them are able to bounce off of each other in a very fun and dynamic way--but, again, the veryyyyyy end. like, the last two chapters very end. 

aside from the plot hole i brought up in the first paragraph, there are some others, big and small. won’t bother to list them--but, and i mean maybe it’s in the additional chapters that i haven’t read yet, super upset we didn’t get to see the actual siege on burial mound. that moment would have been so fucking tense and cool and also would have just answered questions--like, was he killed as a backlash of his own power or was it jiang cheng or someone else who delivered the final blow? wtf was he thinking about as it was happening??? pls?? pls??? i want to know???

ok wait i do need to bring this up like WTF i cannot believe they did not explain wtf happend when wwx was on burial mound for three months and where the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk he learned about the dark magic. there was some throwaway line about a book and i’m just?? u expect me to believe there was jsut some crazy ass book like sitting on a tree stump among a bunch of dead-ass bodies, just waiting for someone to find it? Like seriously?? seriously?? even if there was such a fucking book who the fuck wrote it and why did they put it on the mountain and why did wwx decide that he needed to reclaim his power through it? why did he decide to use music, like the lan sect? why a flute? i have so many fucking questions!! AUTHOR!! AUTHOR!!!! PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK!!! 

also ok this isn’t a “plot hole” but a... theme... hole. a theme hole. i don’t fucking know but the book does a really good job throughout of bringing up mob mentality and other social behaviors when someone becomes the “enemy” of the group. they do this first with wwx and painstakingly set up how much of it is fabrications or exaggerations or bandwagoning, etc. and even why this happened--the people were still hurt by what had happened with the wen sect and, fearful of another force building up its power, it was easy for them to focus their animosity on wwx (the fact that it was him and the remaining wen clan didn’t help either, obvs). so, we’re sympathetic toward wwx because, not only have we been following him for the first half of this novel (by the time we go far enough into the past to learn about what happened when and after he became the yiling patriarch) and because we know his true intentions are pure. he’s a good guy at the end of the day. yeah he did some really, really bad shit during the war and was using a “twisted” ability, but he was trying to help people (also this book clearly has the message that revenge =  good which is,, interesting? i have certainly never read a book before that justifies revenge. usually, the morale is that revenge is never quite nice. see the count of monte cristo (the book, obviously). so, in the moral universe set up in this book, wasn’t wwx totally justified in his actions, however terrible, against the wen sect bc they destroyed the jiang sect? not saying i think that way, just that i think the story expects us to think that way). so, our set up to rumors and badmouthing by people is that it’s wrong, right? and that the other person doesn’t deserve it, no matter what they may have done? it just leads to more and more lies and should be stopped, right? we didn’t like it happening to wwx, who was also frustrated by it both in flashbacks and in the present, so, when it happens to the villain..... it’s okay? our protagonists dont’ have to rise up to defend him, even if he did do wrong? wwx just thinks ‘well, at leeas they weren’t this shitty to me’ and that’s fuckKING IT?? REALLY??

like this is the second ot last scene of the entire fucking story and that’s the fucking note it ends on? there’s nothing else?? no other perspective on responding to mob mentality that we’re going to get?? didn’t wwx die bc of mob mentality and, rather than trying to clean up his perception, he just maintained his behavior and quietly accepted being called evil???? doesn’t that mean it’s bad??? but they just?? let it happen??? again???  that’s the note?? author??? author??? is it all ok that people talk this way even when it leads to people getting killed??? author??? author?????????????? 

i think i got enough of my feelings out now to go read the additional chapters. peace

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat  so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them.  but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.


Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT  EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!