#i dont think anyone else ive met so far has any such aspirations

[thrallsnpuppets]

Ramble

One of the stranger (but relevant) thoughts i have had within the last couple weeks pertains to my birth country, the US.

In the next few years, my husband and i may be given the opportunity to one day move countries for his work. To me this is great.

My husband is a humble, born and bred, small town Texan with an extreme work ethic and homebody life preferences so the prospect of picking up everything and moving thousands of miles away to an unknown land filled with unknown possibly hostile people is terrifying. He literally lives about 50 miles from where he was born and raised and has never been without his immediate family. And contrary to his upbringing, hes decently progressive.

I live in Texas with him. However, I was born 2000 miles away in California. Those of you who are unfmailiar with the states and the culture, crossing state lines is both changing climate and time zone. If we can rightly agree that countries like Portugal and Spain have their differences than we can agree that Texans and Californians have a butt load of cultural differences as well.

One thing that is consistent is the the conditioned sense of Nationalism on both a federal and state level. Both CA and TX like lording their superiority as a state over the other and will bail out on any accountability when it comes to federal matters.

So, encroaching on that mentality that was only spun off different due to dialect has given me a decent understanding of what i could expect in culture shock when moving.

There is a marginal language barrier between Texas and California most pertaining to the specifics of slang and grammatical usage. (I went to speech class as a child due to health issues so i sound odd in both states.) When californians get worked up their words are replaced with expressions that i can equate to real life emojis that are just over the top comical in many situations. Where as a worked up texan loses any sort of hard consonants and theybextend their vowels to the point of running their sentences into one great grumbly affectation that can be about as intimidating as a hackles-up cattle dog. Watching californians argue with texans over Facebook pales to what it looks like real life. The californians are dancing around making expressions and exaggerated movements while the texans stick their chin out with a snarl hanging on their sunburnt and chapped lips. (My mom is from New Jersey, throw a new jersian in with the two mentioned and both the Texan and the Californian clam up momentarily. Californians are loud but like a song bird. Texans are quiet like a resting steam engine. New Jersians... They have all the fan fare and volume of a crowded stadium.)

I greatly digressed. I was only trying to highlight differences in state to state culture and got wrapped up in my own imagery.

Point is, there are major differences and not just in dialect and composure. If anyone has been paying attention to politics, youd know that the states can be very outspoken about their epitomized policies.

I havent been out of the country (would love to if warfare isnt eminent) and these opportunities i will be given has given me time to consider that. My husbands job owns places around the world so i have quite a bit of locations to think about.

I have always wanted to tour so many countries in both hemispheres but i haven't ever thought about residency.

So, i have been bouncing these ideas and potential opportunities off some of my family members and friends. Somenof my friends love the idea of getting that opportunity and would jump at the chance of leaving their bumpkin texas hometown to find themselves on foreign coasts (except the combat vets. Most are happy to be home). While some of the older people have their very nation oriented opinions.

My mom (a moderate and conspiracy theorist from new jersey) wants to move with me if i end up in places like Germany or New Zealand or France or Ireland. My mother in law (avid trump supporter and die hard texan) has an axe to grind against most of the world.

Ive always wanted to see Germany, ireland, italy, places in east europe ya know, lands of my ancestry. And perhaps to get away from the Nationalistic ideals of the United States. I went to a private school up until about middle school and grew up with out having to recite the pledge of allegiance or honoring the national anthem. (I Was startled when everyone stood at once for the pledge of allegiance when i transferred to a public school) So my sense of nation is askewed and find myself speaking against the bipartisan policies and many legislatures much to my inlaws and extended family's chagrin.

If you have ever met a Trump supporter, then you understand that their sense of nationalism is the strongest (not in a good way). They Are the ones that say, "this is our country. This is our flag. This is our president. Deal with it." But they are also offended when you mention moving countries to not be a resident of the US (especially if you just mutter about Germany lol). Which makes no sense to me but they (and current politics or regimes) make barely any sense most of the time anyways. To me anyways...

Arent they the ones that scream at an immigrant to go back to their own country if they dont like the US? Rhetorical; answer is yes always.

I dont understand why I was attacked for relating to the sentiment of picking up everything and leaving the country in pursuit of a fruitful and fulfilling life even if is thousands of miles away.

I have done it before. Not changing countries... But I have bust through state lines with bare minimal possessions escaping what i experienced in my home state to find happiness in another. I have encountered extreme hostility just for being from one of 'those' states in the great state of Texas. I already have moved thousands of miles from everything i knew to be in an unfamiliar land amongst possibly hostile people.

Why cant i, again, say i dont like it here im going somewhere else? (Other than finances and unavailable opportunity at the moment) Why cant i move again? Else where? Far away?

I have never anticipated encountering such animosity for these desires until recently when nationalism became the predominant mindset of the people. Before that, i remember expressing my desire to see the world and being praised for having worldly aspirations.

Turns out, not many people (texan or californian or new jersian) like it when you say i dont like [state, US, politician, policy, etc.] So im leaving/supporting another. I know it seems blatant but i guess I was just naive.

Isnt leaving what you told me i should do if I don't like how it is? I want to be able to contribute to something and experience opportunity in a place that would allow for it and have the resources to maintain these solutions and goals.

Im not saying it is in any one place in particular im just saying it doesn't seem like its here where i am now. A bad situation. I will probably get the opportunity for improvement in the next coming years.

But im a "white american". Does this make a difference in my immigration status? In my residencies? In my opinions? In other people's opinions? Yes, it seems so...

Its why i cant blame people for leaving their homes and travelling thousands of miles away to find a better opportunity for themselves and their family.

I would jump at the chance too.

Go ahead. Call me names. I already get torn at for carrying sympathy for those who desire to leave and improve their lives. I share the same desires even if the reasons differ greatly.

[richard-the-boy-wonder-blog]

I was tagged by: @rebel-eds , thanks for giving me something to do B 💓

1. last drink?: Shitty imitation coffee. 

2: last phone call?: my mommy.

3. last text message?: "okay mommy" you can only guess who i sent it to.

4. last song you listened to?: Best Friends by Grandson. (Its a banger beatbi suggest everyone give it a listen)

5. last time you cried?: Thusday night last week.

6. dated someone twice?:  Yes, and i was mistaken both times.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a guy who only kissed me to date my mom.

8. been cheated on?: Yeah actually, and the kicker was that it was an irl relationship between me and this person and they cheated on me with someone from across the country... So.

9. lost someone special?: Not really?

10. been depressed?: Oooooh boy.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?:  Story time! Ive been black out drunk, once. I invited my current bf over for some video games (we had been dating for like a month maybe) and i thought "boy imma get stupid and put the moved on him" drank 2 things of box wine to myself (1 box is equal to 4 glasses of wine lol) ended up getting sick really fast and left my bf to watch my younger 2 siblings while i threw up. Thats all i remember. (I think i also tried to shave my legs?)

Fave colors

12. Green (every single shade)

13. Black, like oil black so its not as dark.

14. Like a dusty brown yellow color.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?:  I think so? I hope so cause theres alot of people on here i just recently met that im already considering my friends.

16. fallen out of love?: Yes... Honestly its the saddest feeling in the world.

17. laughed until you cried?: I did that last night over the fact i said i wanted to become a professional hotdog juicer.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Yeah, im a snoopy bitch.

19. met someone who changed you?: Oh yes, some of them were for the better, but this one person im thinking in particular... I wish he would stop.

20. found out who your friends are?: Yeah actually, i moved and alot of the people i considered "friends" started talking crap, and alot of the people i just considered stuck up for me.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Does my mom count?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Like a solid 80% of them, others are people i briefly met at cons or whatever.

23. do you have any pets?: I have 2 kitties! My sisters fat cat Juno and my demon Leia.

24. do you want to change your name?: Not really, i feel like ive got a pretty cool name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I cried and threw up on myself lol.

26. what time did you wake up today?: 8:46 am i remember because i wooe up amd the first thought i had was: "if i dont get up the carrots will attack."

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: Editing my fic and watching School of Rock.

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: I have a sad life thats going nowhere so i have nothing to look forward to.

30. what are you listening to right now?: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and Papas.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I worked for a guy named Tom. Tom was an asshat.

32. something getting on your nerves?: The fact that im not aloud to sing or dance around the hoyse anymore.

33. most visited website?: Tumblr lol.

34. hair color?: I had purple hair before i dyed it brown, so its kinda like orangy brown with a tint of pink.

35. long or short hair: This is a hard question because my hair is a mega floof. So it looks short but when i flat iron it its fairly long.

36. do you have a crush on someone?: Honestly.... I think so.

37. what do you like about yourself?:  Im not a huge fan of my outsides (my appearance) but i love my insides. I think im hella funny, and goofy but i know im not very pleasant to look at. But thats okay ☺

38. want any piercings: I already have my snake bites and 2 holes in each ear, but im dying to have my bellybutton, eyebrow, and either my nipples or tongue done. (Maybe a double helix UGH i dont know)

39. blood type: i think im AB positive?

40. nicknames: Jae, JJ, Jada, Scoob, scooberndude, bug, beb, moose, little angry one, you.  

41. relationship status: Taken.

42. zodiac: imma Capricorn.

43. pronouns: I mostly go by They/them, but im okay with her/she too.

44. fave tv show: Ive re-discovered 'Dan vs. Everything' and im in love.

45. tattoos: ive got 4, 1 on my left arm, 2 of my right. And one on the back of my neck (i should just face reveal and show them honestly i get asked about them so much)

46. right or left handed: left handed (imma diamond in the rouge)

47. ever had surgery: GOD NO.

48 . piercings: Yep like i said before. Ove got 6, my snake bites and 2 in each ear.

49. sport: I USE to play baseball amd hockey. (I was also on a roller derby team if that counts)

50. vacation: I haven't been on vacation since i was 8.

51. trainers: No.

more general

52. eating: I was told that you should drink water 20 minutes before eating, because dehydration can feel like hunger. I started doing that like a week ago and ive eaten maybe 4 times since 😂

53. drinking: Water 😎 (hydration is sexy, yall should go get some)

54. im about to watch: myself post this amd regret it.

55. waiting for: my mom to get home so i can come put of my room.

56. want: More records.

57. get married? After some consideration, probably not ever gonna happen.

58. career: i dunno yet, i just know i wanna go to film/art school!

59. hugs or kisses: keeses 😙

60. lips or eyes: The eyes.

61. shorter or taller: i dont really mind either, evidentally though its always tall because im short as fuck.

62. older or younger: Still doesnt really matter to me, as long as they aint a pedo.

63. nice arms or stomach: Arms, because i love being held.

64.  hookup or relationship: a relationship where you pretend not to know each other and "hook up"

65. troublemaker or hesitant: im not really either? Like im not very shy, but im not so far out there that i get in trouble.

66. kissed a stranger: Thats how you get hepatitis.

67. drank hard liquor: Yes, i still would but i get hella nervous about it (im a stoner not a drinker eeeeh)

68. lost glasses: yep! Thats why i dont have them now.

69. turned someone down: Not really. No one has ever asked me out before :/

70. sex on the first date: im a hoe and proud, but this is a major no no.

71. broken someones heart: i think so... But they broke all of me first.

72. had your heart broken: Ive had alot more than just my heart broken.

73. been arrested: Yes i was arrested when i was 9.

74. cried when someone died: Ive been crying over David Bowie for 2 years now, yes.

75. fallen for a friend: This is the only way i can get into a relationship

do you believe in…

76. yourself: Yes! I can do the thing!

77. miracles: Sadly no, ive never had one happen for me.

78. love at first sight: Kinda? Like it starts out as "i wanna punch your face in" at first site, and THEN i fall in love.

79. santa clause: yes because my papa is santa.... I seen it.

80. kiss on a first date: i always barf if someone tries to kiss me on the first date. (Not because it grosses me out but because i got bad anxiety lol)

81. angels: Absolutly because all my friends are angels 💓

82. best friend’s name: I... I dont have one? (Does my twin count? Her name is Dawn)

83. eye color: Green!

84. fave movie: Probably Pretty in Pink.

85. fave actor: Lesie motherfucking Jones! This girl is amazing, she went to an art school in Colorado for a basketball scholarship and ended up in theater and on SNL instead. I aspire to be cool enough to earn my way onto SNL.

I should tag some peepes: @trashmouthmissy @spaghetti-head-eds , @thegreatwhiteferret , @beepbeepbongoboyy , and anyone else who wants to do this can and tag me saying i tagged you 😎