#i drew this with random highlighters n pens n pencils in my bag so sorry if it looks kinda weird lmao

[smashingwindshields]

KRIS SWEEP !!! for the @nonbiney-swag-competition [:

[artificialqueens]

And So This is Christmas, I Hope You Had Fun (Ravjila) - Sammy Indigo

A/N: Part 2 of the Ravjila Christmas fic from a week or so ago. I do hope everyone is having a safe December, and if you’re in an area with some severe weather, be careful. 

And thank you for all the kind words you have been giving me this month. I read them all. All the love xxx

Latrice hadn’t bothered to chastise the three of them on Christmas morning, when she knocked on Manila and Raven’s bedroom door at eight am and opened it to both girls, plus Raja, all cuddled together in Raven’s single bed. Usually when she caught all three of them in the same room after an impromptu sleepover, she gave them a brief lecture about getting to bed early and the safety of knowing where each of them were through the night. However, this Christmas morning, the woman had wished them “Merry Christmas, Babies”, and told them to be downstairs in ten minutes for breakfast.

By the time Manila had managed to drag the other two out of bed, Willam and Danny were already throwing balled up pieces of wrapping paper at each other from across the long dining room table. A particularly aggressive throw from Danny, and a strategic duck from Willam resulted in the wadded up paper hitting Tatiana in the back of the head. She whipped around with a pout and a frown on her face.

“Hey!” She shouted. “Stop it.”

“Sorry!” Danny laughed. “Sorry, Tati.”

Tatiana glared at him. “That’s twice you’ve hit me, now.”

“Then move outta the way.” Willam teased.

Raven smacked him over the head as she walked past to Tatiana. She made an effort to soften the blow slightly. It was Christmas, after all.

“Happy Christmas, kid.” Raven said, hugging Tatiana. “You get anything good?”

“Happy Christmas, Ravie.” Tatiana beamed, holding up a little make up set that Raven suspected was from Claire’s. “Look.” Tatiana said. She leaned into Raven’s side. “It’s got highlighter, and mascara, and even glitters!” She grinned broadly. “I asked for make up, and I got it! This is awesome. Thank you!”

Raven tugged her ponytail, fondly. “Don’t thank me, I didn’t get it for you. Thank the random stranger who feels guilty enough about their life choices to make themselves feel better by spending money on foster kids.”

“Raven.” Latrice warned. “It’s Christmas.”

“Sorry.” Raven kissed Tatiana’s cheek. “That’s so cool. I’m glad you got what you wanted.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Rave!” Manila called from the other side of the room.

Raven kissed Tatiana’s head and patted her shoulder, leaving her to fawn over her present. She wormed her way through the excitable kids, picking up a paper ball from the table and throwing it back to Danny. He caught it and gave her a thumbs up.

“I’d like to keep my nose intact, this year.” He said, brushing long hair out of his eyes.

“We’ll see.” Raven said with a smirk. He flipped her the bird and she laughed.

As Raven approached them, Raja handed her a cookie, and Manila held up a mug in question.

“Coffee?” She asked. “Or Latrice is doing hot chocolate?”

“Chocolate.” Raven said, taking a bite of the cookie and settling into Raja’s side. “Since it’s Christmas.”

Latrice passed her a mug from behind. “Since it’s Christmas, darling.” She said. “Mini marshmallows but no cream for Raven.” She handed a second mug to Raja. “And cream and sprinkles for my Raja.”

“How do you remember that?” Raven asked. “There’s like fifteen of us.”

“I always remember all of my babies. Don’t matter how old they are.” Latrice said. She nodded to the kids running around the rest of the room. “Don’t think you aren’t special just because you’re one of many. You,” She squeezed Raven’s shoulder. “And you two,” She put a hand on Raja’s arm and Manila’s shoulder, “are special. Are loved. Don’t matter if you leave, don’t matter if you come back, don’t matter if you grow up and forget all about me.” Latrice looked at each of them in turn. “You’re loved by me. Always.”

Manila stepped around Raven to hug Latrice. “I could never forget you. You’re unforgettable.”

“Well, thank you, baby.”

Raja beamed. “And we love you.”

“Thank you.” Raven said. She sipped her hot chocolate. “And I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Latrice asked, baffled as she kept an arm around Manila. “You’ve only been up for twenty minutes. What could you have possibly done? Danny isn’t bleeding yet, is he?”

“No, not today.” Raven said. “I’m just sorry, in general.” She felt Raja take her hand. “I know I’m not the, um, easiest, kid to have around. I just, want to say sorry. I’m sorry I cause so many problems.”

“You don’t cause problems, Raven.”

“I do. And I know that I do.” She shrugged. “That’s why I’m here, right? Troublemaker.” She laughed at herself. “Sorry.”

Latrice shook her head. “You’re here, all of you, because of circumstances beyond your control.” She gave them a small sad smile. “If you take nothing else away from me when you leave, take this, each and every one of you is not at fault for the atrocities you have been forced to live through.”

Raven opened her mouth to argue but Latrice held up her hand.

“Nope, she said. I don’t want to hear it. You’re good kids, and if you make the correct choices you’re going to be good adults.”

Willam screamed, and they all looked over to see Danny holding some dripping slime over his face as he pinned him to the ground.

Latrice rolled her eyes. “Even those two.”

Raja giggled. “Danny’s gonna get another bloody nose this year, if he’s not careful.”

Willam kicked out, narrowly missing Danny’s face, laughing like a seal the whole time.

“Oh, Lord.” Latrice shook her head. “Listen, enjoy your day, babies, have fun, make memories.” She gave Manila a squeeze. “I gotta go break this up. Hey! Danny, you leave him. And Willam, stop acting like an ass!”

………………….

Christmas dinner in a group home wasn’t the formal affair Raven had experienced as a young child when they had spent much of the day in Church, then even more of the day visiting relatives whose names she didn’t know. In the group home, she, Raja, and Manila remained in their pyjamas all day, retreating to their room with plates piled high with buffet food, and each with a similar gift bag claiming to be ‘From Santa Claus’.

The gifts were trash, mostly, and Raven felt guilty for even thinking that when she knew somewhere a person had seen Raven’s request for ‘curling tongs’, and unable to purchase them for the provided budget of fifteen dollars, had gone with the next best thing; a set containing a hairbrush, some scrunchies, and some wired foam rollers. It wasn’t the worst gift, Raven supposed.

“Could have been worse.” Raja voiced, long legs stretched over Raven’s lap on the bed, and head resting on Manila’s shoulder. “I mean, I know I asked for jewellery making stuff, and I really meant like pliers, and hoops, and chains, but I don’t mind this.” She held up an almost completed woven bracelet and dangled it by Raven’s face. “A shit ton of embroidery floss and some beads? I can work with that.”

“Yeah.” Manila said. “I think we did good. I got a cool notebook and pens this year. Even came with some coloured pencils.”

“Better than a lunch box.” Raven smirked.  “Although I don’t know why you insist on asking for school supplies every year.”

“Everything else is too vague.” She shrugged. “Plus, I like knowing I’ll have stuff for school for a while.”

“Mm.” Raja hummed. “Only thing worse than being the foster kid is being the foster kid who has to borrow pencils from the school.”

“Hey, ‘Nila?” Raven asked. “When I’m rich I’ll buy you all the school supplies you want. Erasers coming out of your fucking ass.”

Manila kicked her. “Shut up. Just ‘cause I like to be prepared.”

“Don’t tease her.” Raja said.

“Sorry. Love you.”

Manila blushed. “Love you, too. I told you Christmas was happy.”

“Yeah, you did.” Raven crawled over the bed until she was snuggled in between Raja and Manila.

Manila cuddled around her, wrapping an arm around her tummy and settling against her chest.

Raven stroked her hair. “Do you…?” She trailed off, closing her eyes. She felt Raja’s arm press into her side. “Do…” Raven exhaled. “Doesn’t matter.”

“No, what?” Raja murmured. “Tell us.”

She took a long breath in, allowing the familiar scent of Manila’s hair settle her. “I was just thinking.” Raven said. “I’m just being stupid. Christmas, you know?”

“Getting sentimental?” 

“Not exactly.” Raven said. On feeling Raja’s fingers on her wrist, she opened her eyes.

Raja looked up at her and smiled. “For you.” She tied the finished bracelet around her wrist. “Too tight?”

“S’fine.”

Manila snuggled further into Raven’s chest. “I picked the colours.”

“I love it.” She drew her hand up to her face to inspect the intricate knots. “Thank you. Does that mean I get to pick ‘Nila’s colours?”

“Sure.” Raja said, and then smirked at Raven.

“Yellow.” they both said simultaneously, and burst into peals of laughter.

Rolling her eyes, Manila spoke. “Okay, okay. We get it, I like the colour yellow.”

Raven kissed her, still huffing out puffs of laughter. “Sorry.” She kissed her again, this time a little more reverently. “I’m sorry, ‘Nils.”

Manila waved her off. “Nah, you guys are right, I do like yellow. Reminds me of the sun.”

“You’re so cute.”

She blushed and ducked her face into Raven’s chest. “Snuggle me.” She said, muffled in Raven’s shirt.

The three of them, tired, full of food, warm, and happy, cuddled together in the tiny single bed. Raja’s long limbs encompassed the other two, and Raven pressed her lips to the back on Manila’s ear. The bass from the music downstairs was soothing rather than irritating, and even when Raven heard Willam’s obnoxious laughter in the hall, she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad.

“Life,” Raja said, “it’s not too shitty, is it?”

“Not here.” Manila answered quickly. “With you.”

“Do,” Raven began, again, “um, do you guys…?”

“Ask us.” Raja said. She rubbed circles into the warm skin under Raven’s pyjama top.

“Do you guys ever think about before?”

Neither of them even had to ask what ‘before’ was. For foster kids, or for the three of them, at least, the ‘before’ was all the same. Before someone took them away, Raven used to say. But Raja had always said before someone saved her. Raven preferred that. It was truer.

Manila squeezed Raven’s hand, fingers rubbing the woven bracelet on her wrist. “I don’t think about it as much.” She said. “I used to think about them all the time.” Of the three of them, Manila had been the oldest when she had been removed from her family. She was also the only one of them who still had both of her parents out there, alive, in the world, and knew where they were. “I thought about them, today, though.” She said, quietly. “I can’t imagine Christmas in prison is very nice.”

“They don’t deserve a nice Christmas.” Raja said.

Manila didn’t reply. Raven kissed her neck.

Raja took a long breath, calming her tone. “I take it you’ve been thinking about your family, Rave?”

“A bit.” She said. “Not much. Just…” Raven sighed. “Just wondering, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

Raven hadn’t seen her dad since she was removed from his care, her mother had never, as far as Raven was aware, been in the picture. But she had brothers and sisters, she knew she did, could remember faces and names, and yet had no way of knowing exactly how they were, where they were. She was seven the last time she had seen any of them. There could be more kids, now, for all she knew. Maybe they were being dragged around by her father to visit relatives that they didn’t know the names of. Raven shivered.

Raja cuddled her closer.

“Do you think about your mom?” Raven asked her.

“No.” Raja said, and the brutal honesty in her tone made Raven want to cry for her. “Sometimes I dream about her. But no. I don’t think about her. At least not on purpose.”

“Good.” Manila muttered. “I hate it when you have nightmares.”

“I’m not letting her ruin my future. Now when she ruined my past.” Raja paused, and then chuckled. “I sound like my therapist.”

“And mine.” Raven said.

“And mine.” Manila added.

The three of them began to laugh. Raven giggled into the back of Manila’s shirt, wiping the tears she hadn’t noticed on her cheeks into the fabric.

“I’m so fucking glad I have you both.” She said.

“Who else would have you?” Raja said and Manila kicked her. “I’m kidding.” She put a hand on Raven’s chin to pull her face to hers, kissing her gently. “Don’t you ever fucking dare leave us. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Promise.” Manila said. “Please promise, Raven.”

“I promise.” She took a shuddering breath, and then coughed to cover it. “We got each other, ‘till the end, right?”

“Right.”

“Forever.” Manila said. “However long forever is.”

Raven grinned. “Here’s to another hundred Christmases with each other.”

Raja nodded. “Happy Christmases.”

Manila beamed. “Happy Christmas.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”