#i edited this instead of studying OTL

[tobyisave]

Trust & Insecurity in Kiibo & Miu's relationship

(In response to @strawberrysweater ! Thanks for opening this can of worms and sorry for this huge post lmaooo)

To preface this: I do love them together!! I just enjoy looking for the places they might clash at times if they were actually in a relationship... So this is about the things that keep them from fully understanding/trusting each other. And ofc this is just my interpretation!!

My short answer:

(1) Miu only thinks she is valuable as an inventor and sexual object, (2) Most people only care about Kiibo as a scientific novelty, and (3) they both have JUST enough evidence to convince themselves that this is also how they view each other. Even if deep down they're only playing these roles in an attempt to get closer to another human being.

On top of that, even though they're especially vulnerable with each other, I think there's still a lot of misunderstanding between them that would be difficult for them to reconcile. First because they have some genuine points of conflict, and second because they each have problems communicating and reading people (i.e. reality distorting levels of abandonment issues & obligatory robot autism coding, respectively)

Elaboration under the cut:

PART A - Insecurities

You can see (1) and (2) a bit in their other relationships:

Miu is of course hypersexual at all times, and she gives inventions to Shuichi (FTE) and her fantasy lover (love suite) because, as she confesses herself, inventing stuff is the only way she knows how to show affection for other people besides offering them her body.

Her inventions and hypersexuality are also the only explicit points of connection between her and Kokichi, arguably the only other character she is remotely close to besides Kiibo and Shuichi.

So given that most of her onscreen relationship with Kiibo is sexual or scientific (or both) in nature, it’s easy for her to go on believing these are the only things she has to offer. It’s a bit self-fulfilling of course because she’s arguable the one controlling the direction of their relationship in the first place, and at this point I’m not sure she believes there’s anything else to her.

[Shout out to @cloudysonder for helping develop this take :P]

I get the impression Kiibo has met a lot of people over his life who only want to talk about how cool it is that he’s a robot, even though that’s not a part of his identity he initially likes to bring up.

In his FTE with Shuichi, he goes straight into 'demonstrating my functions' mode as if it's the only way he knows how to talk to people

We see him treated in this fetishized way in-game too: with Kokichi chasing him to be “friends with a robot”; with Kaede’s FTE asking him invasive questions and touching his buttons without asking; and in postgame with Kazuichi basically assaulting him and trying to take him apart out of scientific curiosity --- all of these within just his first or second interactions with these people!

So it's a BIG thing for him to willingly let Miu sit there and take him apart, when he already spends so much time fending off virtual strangers who don't respect his bodily autonomy. And he's not used to people taking a genuine interest in him as a person so he’s hesitant to let himself believe Miu is any different, especially when her interest is so explicitly centered around his biology.

Plus as long as Kiibo is physically dependent on Miu, there's going to be a lot of room for insecurity to fester on BOTH sides:

"Does Kiibo really need me or does he just need my technical skills? Does he want to do these favors for me or does he feel like he has to?"

"Does Miu really care who I am or does she just want to gawk at my body like everyone else does? Does she care who I am or am I just the first boy(?) to give her the time of day? Does she want to help me or does she just know she’s the only one who can?"

This is the biggest hurdle IMO because it's a necessarily unbalanced relationship, and it will have to continue for the foreseeable future, no matter how they feel about each other.

PART B - Respect/communication

Another thing is that I don't think they fully respect each other — kind of for the same reason the rest of the group doesn’t respect them either

Miu might not consider Kiibo a person. We know Kiibo was worried about this; when asking Shuichi to use the electrohammer on him he explains, "The outcome will settle once and for all how Miu perceived me." This, and the fact she says robots aren’t people in trial, make me pretty confident that she has never looked him in the eye and said "I consider you a person."

I think she has a complex relationship with Kiibo’s personhood. On one hand if he’s a thing then it’s much easier for her to control him (esp given what we see of their relationship) and this soothes her anxious heart by ensuring that he can’t abandon her.

At the same time, if this is the case, then his coerced/artificial love isn’t worth as much as it would be if it came from an autonomous human person — to her insecure mind, it becomes Miu alone in her room playing boyfriend girlfriend with a doll, if that makes sense. 

To clarify, I’m not saying she BELIEVES he’s just an object, but it’s an idea that both comforts and torments her.

It's worth noting, too, that Miu doesn't always respect people's consent. This is especially risky when you factor in their mechanic-robot relationship (which already comes with a difficult power dynamic) and Kiibo’s naive/somewhat people-pleasing personality.

On Kiibo’s end: I think it’s safe to say he finds her rude/inappropriate at first (though I think it's really sweet that he uses the much more euphemistic description 'brash and spirited' after getting to know her). They also have some pretty stark moral differences --- Kiibo is distraught to learn that Miu wasn't above murdering their classmates, for example.

More importantly, I headcanon he has a lot of difficulty understanding her at all  – on an emotional level, yes, and and on a literal level he just straight up doesn’t understand many of the sentences she says either

K: “Most of that was unintelligible nonsense, but…” after Miu explains her “secret woman weapon." IMO his decision to phrase this as an insult helps mask the fact he's not familiar with all the lewd references she just made

He also has problems understanding emotions from the start, and Miu is DIFFICULT to track because she cycles through emotions so rapidly.

+ he might find it hard to extrapolate that many of the things she does are part of a facade. The crass egotistical miu who says he’s not a person is equally as real to him as the deeply insecure miu wants to believe he is a person (if not more real…)

PART C

Also these bullets from my personal doc I don't have the willpower to expand on atm:

They are both so prone to misinterpreting people unkindly

They’re also both so misled about how committed a relationship is supposed to be. Like I think Kiibo would consider a confession from literally anyone to be tantamount to a proposal (based on his love suite scene). And Miu wouldn’t be quite so fast but i do think it’d still be a huge deal for her because she falls very hard very easily (based on her FTE). Which is all very cute but being plunged into a big commitment like that can be crazy stressful, esp for two teens who have never dated before (imo) and have no frame of reference. [I was actually just going to post about this part lol]

PART D

All that said... I love them together and I DO think they could make it work without too much heartbreak. A lot of the things I describe as problems here could easily be taken as strengths.

e.g. Their misunderstanding of how relationships work ironically makes them more compatible, since they're both ready to go whole hog (if Kiibo determines that he actually likes her that is). Miu's rapidly fluctuating emotions are confusing, but on some level I think he'd admire how deeply and obviously she is able to feel things. And of course Miu as an inventor has a deep (almost objectum like??) respect for machines that helps Kiibo accept that he can be a robot and a person at the same time, and is probably the only one in the class who understands just how impressive he really is.

Thanks thanks THANKS for reading if you seriously read all that!! Mwah!!!!

I would love to hear anyone's takes on my takes too :P I haven't been rotating them in my head for too long yet so I'm still developing my interpretations...

[tmngoose]

A Bad Dream: a Mikey & Donnie Drabble

I had this little scenario on my mind last night and decided to do somethin’ about it! I’ll probably post this up on my Ao3 but honestly its such a short read that I’m still thinking about it. I’ll probably rework it if I do decide to! :U Summary: Takes place after ‘Donnie’s Gifts’; Mikey has a bad dream. Donnie comforts him. Featuring, insomniac Leo. (How original, I know lol  OTL)  Rating: General Audiences Characters: Mikey, Donnie, Meat Sweats (mentioned), Leo  Tags: Hurt/Comfort, nightmares, stressful situations, wholesome brotherly cuddling (not shipping!), eavesdropping, partially beta’d so expect edit updates Word Count: Under 1k Read it under the read more! :A 

Mikey awoke with a cry, panting as he clutched his blankets close to his chest. His hammock swayed while Mikey struggled to steady it. He glanced about his room, his heart racing in his chest.

It was a bad dream - no, a nightmare. Donnie was in trouble, cornered by Meat Sweats, who wanted nothing more than to eat him, and Mikey was powerless to save him. No matter how hard he swung his kusari-fundo, it was never far enough to strike the hulking mutant. He couldn't even pull Donnie to safety with the unruly weapon.

Even Mikey's razzmatazz proved more of a hindrance than a help. His typically coordinated jumps and bounces (if one could call them that) landed him farther away from Donnie, much to Mikey's dismay. And when he tried calling out for help, nobody answered him; his shouts remained trapped in his throat.

Instead, Mikey had to listen to Meat Sweats' maniacal laughter as he forced Donnie into a giant cauldron that bubbled and sputtered as it swallowed his brother whole.

That was when Mikey woke up, shaken and disturbed by the frightful imagery that felt all too real for the Boxshell's liking. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and decided that he needed to see Donnie: now. 

Mikey slipped out of his hammock, his blanket cast about him like a cloak.  He tiptoed out of his room and quietly made his way towards Donnie's. How the Softshell was able to sleep through the humming of all his computers and gadgets was beyond Mikey. He supposed something was soothing about it - like some form of white noise.

He found Donnie up in his bunk bed, snoring into his pillow: sound asleep. Mikey perched himself upon the top of the ladder and gently shook Donnie's shoulder, "Psst! Don. Donnie. Donald!" He whispered loudly into Donnie's ear, who finally snorted awake with a groan. 

"Huh?" Donnie rubbed the sleep from his eyes, squinting at the bleary silhouette at the side of his bed, "Mikey?"

"I had a dream Meat Sweats ate you."

"... how quaint," Donnie yawned. He tried rolling over, only to be stopped by Mikey's hand. 

"Could I stay here for a little while?" Mikey asked softly, "Please?"

"Mikey," Donnie started firmly, "As you can clearly see, Meat Sweats has, in fact, not eaten me. You've obviously had a nightmare, brought on by yesterday's encounter with that piggish brute and his attempt to have me for dinner. You see, the stress from that situation has stimulated your medial prefrontal cortex to-"

"Please?" Mikey pressed, batting his puppy-dog eyes at Donnie. 

Donnie fought against the sad, twinkling in Mikey's eyes. But it was no use; his brother's pouting was just that powerful.

"Fine," Donnie conceded, "But just so we're clear, you're getting way too old for this, Angelo." He shuffled over, immediately taken aback by how quickly Mikey climbed into his bed and clung to him.

Donnie went rigid, tempted to shove Mikey away from him until he took the time to really study his distraught sibling. Mikey kept his face buried against his chest, his arms looped around the back of his neck; a look of unease stained the Boxshell's normally cheerful disposition. 

"... it was that bad, huh?" Donnie asked quietly.

Mikey whimpered in response, surprised when Donnie held him. He rubbed the back of Mikey's shell, murmuring a "There, there" under his breath while he did so. Mikey couldn't help but smile; the gesture was so soft and unlike Donnie. He could feel the tension melt from him as he was calmed - the fragments of the nightmare became nothing more than an unpleasant thought in the back of his mind.

"Thanks, Dee." Mikey sighed contently, his eyelids heavy with sleep. "I'm glad Meat Sweats didn't eat you." 

"Don't mention it," Donnie mumbled muzzily before his tone became serious, "... I mean it: do not speak of this. I won't hear the end of it from anyone if you do, especially from Leo."

"Mmhm..."

"Can I get a verbal confirmation on our agreement, Michael? Mikey?" Donnie peered down at Mikey, who had drifted off to sleep, his smaller frame curled close. 

Knowing that it would take a while to fall back asleep, Donnie propped himself up against his pillow and mindlessly scrolled the news feed on his phone. He'd watch over Mikey until the Boxshell's steady breathing eventually lulled Donnie back to sleep, blissfully unaware of Leo's presence by his doorway.

Amused, Leo sipped lightly from his mug of hot cocoa as he watched Donnie and Mikey nestle together. It reminded Leo of the old days when they were tots and how they'd sleep in a pile together whenever one of them felt lonely or scared. He took comfort in knowing some things never changed.

"Sweet dreams, mis hermanos~" Leo grinned, heading back to his room to catch up on his own Z's. 

[zzizzigom]

Family — Wonho AU | Part Six

A/N: what is pacing? what is a story line? don’t ask me, cause I don’t know. Sorry this took so long to get out OTL but I hope you all enjoy it and I apologize for any mistakes I missed while editing!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Genre: fluff/ light angst?

Characters: Wonho x Reader

Word Count: 2630

Parts: Prologue / I / II / III / IV / V / VII

I can’t believe I agreed to this, you kept thinking to yourself. In front of you Ahreum sat and picked at a salad silently. Having eaten beforehand you were left to sit there awkwardly and wait. Wonho was to drop off Mari after he picked her up from school and then your day of what you considered to be the most awkward case of babysitting ever would begin.

With a soft sigh you crossed your legs and picked up your cup to sip your water. Ahreum took another bite and then the only side between you two was of crunching lettuce.  You made a quick mental note to give Wonho hell for convincing you to do this later.

“I’m surprised you agreed,” Ahreum suddenly spoke, as if reading your mind.

“I didn’t want to.” Your response is blunt and rude but you don’t really care right now. Ahreum lets out a soft chuckle and continues eating her food.

You look out the window and see a familiar car pull up and soon Wonho and Mari are exiting the vehicle. You can’t help the smile that blooms across your face as you watch them hold hands and Mari begins to skip towards the cafe door.

Catching your change in demeanor Ahreum looks over her shoulder and also smiles at the sight. However, you catch something sad in her eyes and you know it’s because she’s aware she’s not a part of that.

The bell on the door chimes as they enter and Mari’s face lights up even more into that beautiful smile she’s inherited from her father. She darts forward, letting go of her father’s hand and runs up to you. You could’ve sworn you saw Ahreum start to open her own arms and stop before she could be left hanging. Pity ran through you and you gave her a small, thin lipped smile as you pull Mari into your lap.

“Hello, Ahreum…” Mari said shyly. She still didn’t know quite how to address the other woman, and after asking you, you had told her to do what felt right. Ahreum smiled gently at Mari.

“Hello, Mari. How are you today?”

“Okay,” she replies as Wonho takes a seat in an empty chair. “I got a hundred percent on my math test today!”

“Good job, squirt!” You exclaim and slightly bounce her on your lap. She beams at your compliment.

“So what are your plans today?” Wonho asks, his voice nonchalant. However, a quick glance at him and you can tell he’s more than nervous, his shoulders and posture stiff. He’s leaned back in the chair to give the appearance of relaxed but instead he looks as if he’s on the uphill incline of a rollercoaster, tensed for the impending downfall.

“I was thinking a movie, if Mari could find one she wanted to see.” Ahreum looked to Mari with a slightly hopeful look.

“I think that could be fun,” you respond. “How ‘bout it, Mari?”

The girl in question nods her head. “Let’s go see Beauty and the Beast!”

Ahreum breaks into a grin at Mari’s acceptance of her plans and nods in agreement. At a soft touch of your arm you glance over to find Wonho motioning with his head to talk to you. Ahreum catches the movement and watches silently as you set Mari down into your chair and follow Wonho to stand outside the door of the café.

“Thank you for doing this.” Wonho starts. “I know you don’t want to but I appreciate it more than I can say.”

When you had brought up Ahreum’s proposal of chaperoning in his stead, Wonho was eager to agree. He claimed you would do just as good of a job making decisions as he would. It had taken you days of Wonho trying to convince you before you finally agreed. Despite wanting the parents to figure it out for themselves, you realized you were just as big a part of this as either of them.

You nod on nibble on your bottom lip. “This is going to be so awkward.”

Wonho smiles and takes your hands in his own. “You’ll do fine. Come on.”

He leads you back into the café, one of his hands still in your own. Back at the table he ruffles Mari’s hair and she grins up at her father.

“Hey, princess, I’m going to head out now. You all good?”

Mari nodded. “Yes! I’m excited.”

Wonho grins. “Good. I’ll meet you and Y/N at home later tonight, okay?”

Mari nods again and Wonho leans down to kiss the top of her head. He lets go of your hand only to give Mari a quick hug before he’s once again slipping his fingers into your own. With a smile he turns to you and presses a kiss to your cheek. Still leaning in he whispers, “Thank you. I love you.”

With a smiling breaking out on your face you lean back and nod at his words. Your eyes are bright enough that Wonho can see the response in your eyes.

Before he walks away, Wonho turns to Ahreum. “It was good to see you again. I’ll see you later.” Ahreum only nods at his words.

Once Wonho is gone, you settle in his chair and before you can say anything Ahreum speaks.

“You two look good together.”

You blink at the compliment, never expecting her to say something like that. You regain yourself quickly. “Thank you.”

At the theater, you perused through the candy choices. Ahreum and Mari were nearby reading the menus trying to decide on a drink choice. After a while they joined you and you smiled as you spotted Mari’s favorite – Skittles.

As you picked up the box you heard Ahreum let out an “Ah!” She pulled a bag of candy off the rack and held it out to Mari.

“How about chocolate peanut butter cups?”

Mari nibbled on her lip and shook her head. “I can’t have those.”

Ahreum’s brows rose. “Why not?”

She caught Mari’s glance towards you and then turned over her shoulder to look at you. You could see exasperation in her eyes. “My daughter’s not allowed to have these?”

You shake your head. “No. Mari’s allergic to peanuts.” Realization dawned over Ahreum’s face and she paled slightly at the thought of what could’ve happened. You pursed your lips for a moment before turning to Mari with a smile. “I found the Skittles!”

Mari’s face once again lights up. “Yay! Can I also have an icee? Cherry flavor? Ahreum and I want to match.”

You grin. “Of course. Let’s go get in line.”

Mari darts off towards the line but before you can follow her a hand catches your arm. You look over to find Ahreum looking hesitant. “Y/N…I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” you say. “Now you do.”

After the movie, you’re walking along side Ahreum and Mari, the child between the two of you. She’s gushing about everything she loved about the fairy tale movie. Once the three of you made it outside, you led the group over to the side of building so you could dig your keys out of your purse.

Ahreum did the same but came up short. She clicked her tongue. “I think I dropped my keys in the theater somewhere. I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and then she was jogging off back to the theater. With the night settling it, it brought a chill to the air, and you gently pulled Mari closer to you to tightened her jacket around her torso. As you stood back up, a man walking past the two of you stumbled on his own feet and bumped into Mari.

Quick to react you placed your hand in between Mari’s head before it could slam in to the brick wall of the building. You winced as pain shot through your hand but ignored it to pull Mari closer to you. The man, caught off guard by his fall, stumbled once more when you pulled Mari away from him. When he regained his footing he shot the two of you an icy glare.

“How about you watch it?” He sneered at you. ��Keep your kid controlled.”

Your face immediately fell into a frown. “Excuse me? Maybe watch where you’re going.”

“If you were a good parent and kept an eye on your child maybe we wouldn’t be having this conversation. What’s the brat still doing out anyway, a good parent would have their kid in bed by now.”

With a scoff you rolled your eyes at his “good parent” insults. “A good parent defends their child from scum like you who can’t own up when they make a mistake. If you want to be the better person that badly then just walk away. Otherwise I want an apology for almost slamming my daughter’s head into a brick wall.”

The man looks like he’s about to say something but then decides otherwise. Instead he scuffs his shoe against the ground, kicking up dirt and dust at your own feet. You watch him with an unimpressed quirk of your brow as he walks away.

“What an asshole,” Ahreum’s voice cuts through the air as she comes up next to you. You cut her a stern glance and she looks at you in confusion before she lets out a soft gasp. She looks down at Mari with a wide eyed look but the young girl only giggles.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I’ve heard Daddy say that sometimes.”

You sigh in exasperation but gently brush back the hair from Mari’s forehead. At the movement, you wince and pull your hand back to inspect it. Mari catches the action and her face turns worried.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Huh? Yeah I’m…oh.”

Both you and Ahreum had answered at the same time. You shoot a glance towards Ahreum and find her frowning at the ground before she takes a small step back. Studying her actions, you can’t help but notice the difference in her personality all day. She was behaving meekly whereas the Ahreum you’d always known was cutthroat and hard to approach. As if reading your thoughts, Ahreum caught your glance and rolled her eyes indignantly. You let out a soft laugh and glanced at Mari.

“Mari how would you like to have dinner with Ahreum tonight?”

Both of them look at you, Mari in excitement and Ahreum in shock.

“Can I really?”

“Yeah, it’ll be just the two of you, if that’s okay?”

Mari nods vigorously. Ahreum, seemingly taken aback, asks, “Are you sure?”

The younger once again nods. Ahreum looks at you and bites the inside of her cheek. “What about Wonho?”

“It’ll be okay. Wonho said I could make the decisions I see fit. I think it’ll be good for the two of you to have some alone time. But Mari needs to be back before nine. She has school in the morning.”

Ahreum nods almost as vigorously as Mari and you smile at the similarity. “Okay. I’ll make she’s back in time.”

Back at Wonho’s apartment you placed the ice pack on your hand and sighed at the relief. After feeling around your hand you figured it was just bruised. In the silence of the apartment, you pull your feet under you on the couch and used your free hand to scroll through social media for a while.

At the sound of the door opening you set your phone down and smiled at Wonho as he stepped into the living room. His eyes immediately zeroed in on the ice pack on your hand.  “What happened?”

He rushes over and takes your hand in his to lift the ice off and inspect your hand.

“Nothing, I bumped it against the wall. It’s just a bruise.” You let out a small lie, there’s no use in getting him upset about something that’s already over.

Despite your words, he continued to study your hand to come to his own conclusion. When he seemed to find a trip to the hospital unnecessary, Wonho placed the ice pack back on your hand but continued to hold it.

“Where’s Mari?”

“Her and Ahreum are having dinner together.” The grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly and you look over to find anxiety filling Wonho’s eyes. Reaching forward with your free hand you brush stray strands of hair from Wonho’s forehead. “It’s okay. Ahreum promised to bring her back before nine.”

��What if…”

“No,” you cut him off, gently but still stern. “Because if she doesn’t bring her back, you can bet I’ll be out there finding our daughter.” Suddenly Wonho’s face broke into a huge grin. “What?”

“You said our daughter.”

With a soft blush you scoff. “Well what else would I call Mari?”

“It sounds good coming from you,” Wonho replied pulling you closer and resting his chin on your shoulder.

The two of you talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying the company you gave each other. Every now and then Wonho would get up and replace the melting ice in your pack with a fresh bunch. All the while you kept an eye on the clock and around 8:30 there was a knock at the door.

Wonho was quick to stand up and head for the door. You, on the other hand, took a slower pace at standing and following him to the door. You stood back and watched as Mari darted forward to wrap her arms around her father’s waist. Wonho didn’t hesitate in picking her up and resting her on his hip.

“Thank you,” was all Wonho said before nodding his head at Ahreum and turning into the apartment. You gave Ahreum a look at Wonho’s behavior but she waved it off.

“It’s fine. I actually wanted to talk to you anyway.”

You lift your brows and nod before stepping out the door to join her in the hallway.

“I just wanted to say I saw you defending Mari from that guy earlier and I wanted to thank you for that. When I went out with Wonho and Mari the last time they would constantly bring you up and talk about how good of a mother you were. It made me angry because there was no way someone would want to take care of someone else’s daughter, especially if you hated the mother. But what I saw tonight, I can tell you really do love Mari like a mom and that’s all I wanted for her.”

“I don’t hate you,” you reply after thinking for a moment. “Sure I wouldn’t consider us friends, but I don’t hate you. I never did.”

“I hated you,” Ahreum admits. “When I met Wonho in high school I was so sprung on him. I loved the attention he gave me and he was so warm. But when I saw how he was with you I knew I could never compete. You would never guess how surprised I was when he asked me out instead of you. But even then I knew how you felt about him and always saw you as a threat.

“And now here you are taking care of my daughter. God, I was so pissed. But Y/N you take such good care of her. You’ve done such a good job…I could’ve never done that. And that’s why I left. I wanted a life for myself and selfishly left everyone behind to attain it.”

“Ahreum,” you interject. She looks up at you, her eyes glossy. “You messed up in the past, we all know that. But you now have a chance to make up for it. Take that chance and don’t mess up this time.”

Her nod is hesitant but still there.

“Good night, Ahreum.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

[jikook-love]

end of the year 2016

end of the year fic 2016 

Everything is linked so you can check it out ^^

Total word count written: AO3 - 43 769, and maybe around 20 000 more for my other tumblr stuff ish? So maybe 80 000 counting unwritten

Total word count published: 60 000-ish

Fandoms written: BTS, Yuri On Ice (lowkey), Psycho Pass & AOT

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or what you predicted?

Um. Yes. I wasn’t even planning to write anything. 

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

...well. *looks around* *hides*

3. What’s your own favourite story of the year?

AT MY PLACE. It’s probably my fave because it’s highly a songfic and I could just picture everything so vividly. I actually have a parallel to it, but I haven’t finished it yet. Maybe one day I’ll get around to posting it. Everything just flowed really nicely while I was writing it. And I feel like I also really like Heartwrecker because it’s like...my baby LOL. 

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I feel like my starting to write itself was taking a risk ._. LOL. Anyways, I always write crack, that’s just natural, but the risk was taking up another long fic. Definitely learned that things don’t always go as planned and be prepared to write ahead so you can edit later XD

5. Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

FINISH EVERYTHING O M G. I have like 4 things I have to work on atm, all simultaneously. Unfortunately I am not a CPU with multiple processors so I cannot work in parallel T.T

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year:

At My Place. In the depressing midst of studying for a summer test, this precious gem of mind came into mind and distracted me. Although it’s not the most popular nor a fan favourite or anything, it just turned out like everything I wanted to be and that was a nice feeling. 

My most popular story of this year:

Heartwrecker. Probably, right? It’s my ongoing fic and it’s been receiving a lot of nice comments recently, and I really appreciate that :3 I wanted to write an intricate plot that ran kind of like a drama with vivid imagery and complex(ish) characters...and fortunately, you guys are telling that’s exactly what I did ^^

But honestly, it’s no lie where the amount of popularity in my fic does sometime correlates to the amount of effort I put into each. At My Place is my most popular oneshot, and Golden Eyes had a boom later on: both of which I enjoyed writing and really put a lot of editing effort into. 

Most fun story to write:

Busan Baby. Idk what that was but it’s probably one of the crackiest things I’ve ever written probably and who doesn’t want to imagine countryside fathers Jikook with a baby. XD

Living Up to His Name. Was also fun to write (model!Seokjin x photographer!Hoseok) Maybe because I had a soft spot somewhere for 2seok that i didn’t know about lol 

Story with the single sexiest moment:

At My Place. No, I didn’t forget Permission to Love but honestly, I didn’t find that as “sexy” as the scene in At My Place because it was mostly just PWP I wrote at 4 am while listening to House of Cards because I couldn’t sleep. At My Place, I think, was a better build-up of plot and tension and left just enough to the imagination so that was satisfying without being overwhelming. 

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

Everything on this blog. tbh.

It’s Harder than It Looks was my first fic on here, and surprise! it’s a Namjin LOL. That was so crack and it was pretty weird :/

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Falling for Madness. (yoongi x taehyung) It’s funny because I’d intended for Taehyung to be an innocent, slightly crazed childhood lover and just have a reunion or whatever but then [SPOILERS] I turned him into a serial killer. Go figure. It’s one of my personal favourites though even if it’s not the most popular, because it really got me writing in a different style. 

Biggest surprise:

Tie Me Down? (ceo!jungkook x jimin) Not sure if it actually was because I sort of built up to it but I like the tense atmosphere if that one and it’s definitely one of my favourites. :)

You Be My Fan and I’ll Be Your Man (fanboy!jungkook x idol!jimin) was supposed to be surprising but I don’t think I built it up well enough, even though Jungkook’s character change was quite 180 at a certain point, as well as his little history with Jimin ^^

And of course, by default, Heartwrecker :D

Most unintentionally telling story:

Most of my fics have some sort of underlying moral? But if unintentional it’s probably Golden Eyes. It was just supposed to be this fantasy fic but the ending was a bit more bittersweet and meaningful than I ever intended to (mostly because of a song I was listening to at the time).

shatterproof was also telling (i.e. sometimes love is flawed and does not enunciate the best decisions..etc.), but it was intentional for the most part. 

Favourite opening lines:

Falling For Madness:

Madness?

Everyone craves attention and desires love, but how far does one have to go in order to be truly considered obsessive?

Extreme compulsion is defined as destructively repetitive behaviour, yet humans value and even become dependent on daily routines, without ever really understanding why they do the things they do.

These thoughts ran though Min Yoongi’s mind as he sipped on his black coffee, seated at the same café he did every morning while he jotted down notes on paper.

You’re such a genius, Yoongi. How do you keep thinking of these words, Yoongi?

They’d mindlessly croon like this every day, labeling his difference as a gift. Never a hindrance, never a disability. It was because he poured his thoughts out on paper and electronic documents, but never applied them to reality. How would they truly know what he was inspired by, every time he moved his pen, every time he hit a key on his computer, every time he typed into his phone?

OR

shatterproof:

The frigid air bit away at Jeon Jungkook’s bare lips and fingers, though he had lost perception a while ago.

It was already 2 am, the wallowing darkness doing nothing to ease his loneliness and heartache. The pure white flakes of snow were falling so gently, calmly, but the sight of them only seemed to bring back bittersweet memories that were long gone by now.

Merry Christmas indeed… Jungkook sighed, his breath materializing in the cold. He thread his bare fingers through the snow, unwary of the tingling on his fingertips as he leaned his back against the lamppost he had been sitting by. It was not a good night to be outside: the breeze was gentle yet frigid and chilled to the bone. He gazed up to the somber sky, his long, dark bangs matted against his forehead, shielding his eyes. It was pathetic, in reality, to be abandoned and homeless on a holiday meant for warmth and happiness.

Though in his way, perhaps he deserved it.

It was his punishment.

(the dark ones. ha.)

Favourite closing lines: 

Golden Eyes:

And that night, for the first time in awhile, Jungkook slept peacefully, without any nightmares whatsoever. How could he not? He laid there, wrapped comfortably in Jimin’s warm embrace, falling asleep in the middle of their cuddling, before he even noticed.

Tomorrow would be another long, grievous day, as they set out on their journey again, hoping to find the refuge and vengeance they were seeking for. It would be a journey full of surprises, some of them unwanted. They would have to live every minute of every hour like it would be their last together, not knowing when they would run out of time. There was no promise of a happy ending, or whether they would even be together at the very end.

But tonight, for the very least, they were together within in each others presence, wrapped up in each other’s arms at long last.

And in that moment, it was all that mattered.

Favourite lines from anywhere:

Heartwrecker:

Jungkook scanned the scenery, searching for what he expected to be a short, insecure-looking boy, possibly with a bad haircut and no air of confidence whatsoever.

“I don’t see anyone,” Jungkook said, still straining his neck.

Taehyung snapped his tongue, reproaching Jungkook’s impatience. “He’s covered by that building right now,” Taehyung said. “Wait for it…look! There he is!”

Jungkook was still craning. “I still don’t see anyone that looks like him,” he groaned. “All I see is that incredibly hot guy with the black hair and the cute ass.”

“…”

Jungkook blushed at Taehyung’s stone-cold expression. “What? I have a type too, you know. You’re not the only one who’s allowed to check guys out.”

“Jungkook.”

“…what?”

“That’s him.”

Scenes from anywhere you would have choose to have illustrated:

At My Place - Jimin and Jungkook running through the vivid night market together would be (highkey i actually wanted to ask someone to draw this for me ;;

Heartwrecker - ...tba tbh ;P

shatterproof - jungkook sitting exhausted and cold and there’s snow everywhere and he’s just shocked because jimin has just appeared in front of him ;;

New year’s resolutions:

Finish writing: math!AU (an ongoing project since the last semester ;P) & more Heartwrecker :)

Word Count Totals

Total finished, posted fic: idk some number

Longest posted fic: Heartwrecker

Longest wip: Heartwrecker <333

Total number of words written: some larger number

Tagging: every writer who finishes reading this till the end because I know you all wanna do it ;P