#i feel like i have a sanity meter above my head that says 50%

[sirensea14]

Until this fucking school year ends, the demons in my head are not gonna stop bugging me.

I need a cure i need a cure i need a cure i need a cure i need a cure i need a cure i need a cure i need a cureineedacureineedacureinewdacureinedddacureineedacureineeedacureinnaeeeedandyeijnaaedacureineeedacueeninneedacure

Damnit, if its suspension and all then how're we supposed to graduate if we havent even fucking finished all the rushed activities? The prelims? The exams? The research? But theyre suspending cus of the extreme heat... Then they should have waited til june to open the school gates back then instead of now. Suffering in the extreme fucking heat. Ugh, im glad we can do asynchronous classes but it's also bad cuz, the graduation picture that we're supposed to do?? And the payment to it--i still havent paid for our possible gradpic! Damn it damnit fucking damnit.

Im fucking stressed the hell out here and what should i damn do to these nitwits of a government doing shit? I dont know what can i fucking do with this asynch classes. Im fucking fustrated cuz i havent paid yet, we need to take our grad pic as soon as possible cuz fucking damnit i cant stand this medium hair length anymore!! ITS WAY TOO FUCKING HOT AND ITS HEAVY IN MY HEAD IF I TIE IT WITH MY CLAM THING.

Lets see... Personal discomfort, extreme heat, school activities, fustration over grad pic, fucling financial issues... What more to add, hmmmm... Oh and reality blocking my stupid brain from doing something creative like doing my shitty art.

I need to breathe. But its nighttime and as much as i want to go outside cuz nighttime is fucking cool as hell in a temperature way, i cant. Parents wont allow me, they would scold me "no. its way too dangerous outside, go sleep".

Im just angry. Maybe thats all that im feeling right now. Funny how im listening to an angry song rn to perfectly describe my feelings.

I might go into my lowest state again like 4 or 5 days ago? I dont quite remember, but all i know is i recovered thru watching The Boys Gaming channel on yt play mario party.

I do not know why tf should i be posting this shit, i just like it and felt more comfortable sharing my thoughts here (ngl i am comfortable too in discord but i feel like im ranting way too much there)

I dont care if anyone thinks this is weird but im posting this shit cuz i tell my problems to no one and then now i can do it anyways (bottling up problems go brrrrrr)