#i feel like my body is falling apart like a mr potato head doll. and the source of it all is ofc my stomach. jesue christ

[daz4i]

gotta get up to take a painkiller but in too much pain to get up. one of life's cruelest mischiefs

[caramell0w]

The Acquisition- Chapter 4

Parings: Business owner!Bucky x Reader (AU)

Summary: You are part of a business merger. Can you make it through with your heart still intact, or will The Winter Solder tear you apart?

Warnings: A little angsty...Bucky being nicer :)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read the first three chapters and who has commented. I love hearing for you all! This story is getting away from me and it seems like it’s going to be a long one. I’m already up to chapter 7 and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Curse you @sherrybaby14​ for having an awesome prompt! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1792

Masterlist | Previous Chapter

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I’m sitting in the car on my way to dinner. I fought back as much as I could, but eventually Steve coaxed me into the waiting car. I can’t stop fidgeting in the seat and Steve stifles a smile.

“Can you not?” I bark at him. He raises his head from his phone and locks eyes with me, pinning me in place. I shrink back in my seat, trying to avoid the heated stare. “Sorry, I’m just nervous, and you’re not making it any easier.”

He ignores my comment and goes back to his phone. “After dinner I’ll escort you back to Mr. Barnes’ residence. All of your belongings have been delivered there today.”

“Is James not coming back with me?”

“No. He has some business he has to attend to.” The car stops and Steve gets out first and then helps me out. “Enjoy dinner, Y/N.”

I give a curt nod and walk through the doors and head straight for the smiling hostess.

“Hi. Welcome to Red Star, do you have a reservation?”

I open my mouth to speak and someone slides their hand around my waist. “She’s with me.” The deep timbre of his voice and gentle grip of his hand sends goosebumps through me. I try to step out of his grasp and he squeezes my hip, stopping my effort.

“Good Evening, Mr. Barnes. Please follow me.” She picks up two menus and leads us toward a secluded part of the restaurant. Placing the menus down she turns leaves us alone. He stands behind my chair and waits for me to take a seat before assisting me with pushing it in.

“Thank you,” I reply.

He sits and I pull the menu up, covering my face to avoid his gaze. I can’t get my eyes to focus on the options. I’ve read the same thing eight times and I still can’t comprehend what I’ve read. He reaches his hand out and pulls the menu down.

“The chef cooks something special for me when I come here. No need for the menu.”

“What if I have allergies or simply don’t like what the chef’s choice will be?” I challenge.

“Then we will send it back and you can order whatever you want. I expect you will at least try something new, even if it isn’t to your presumed liking.”

Is he still talking about dinner, or is this now about the marriage? “Fine.”

“Good. Now, we have a few things to discuss. This acquisition is to benefit as both. Unless you accept my proposal, Landon Enterprises will be sold off piece by piece. Think of the thousands of people who would be out of a job, all because you didn’t want to marry me. To be honest, this isn’t ideal for me either. I mean, you’re good looking enough; but I never saw myself getting married. It’s easier to be alone.”

My heart is beating so hard I can hear it in my ears. “You would really sell my dad’s company off and lay off thousands of people just because you can?”

“I’ve done worse.”

I wrinkle my face in disgust. “You’re horrible.”

“No, I’m a good businessman. In order to succeed you have to be cutthroat. We all have to make sacrifices, doll.”

I stand and toss my napkin on the chair.

“Sit,” he commands, his facial features harsh.

“No.” I cross my arms over my chest, standing my ground

His features soften and he relaxes. “Please, sit.” He takes a deep breath. “This isn’t how I pictured the evening going. How about we put aside business for now, and try to enjoy the meal? The chef really does work wonders in the kitchen.”

I’m flabbergasted. This man has done a complete one-eight in a matter of seconds. Am I going to have to get used to mood swings now too? I ease back into my seat, but remain silent.

He runs his hand through his hair, messing it up a bit. Now instead of perfectly coiffed, he has a slight sexy bedhead style going. I start wondering what he would look like first thing in the morning after a long night of rough sex. There is no way to deny this man is beautiful and I bet he’s good in bed too. He starts talking again and I’m pulled back from my daydream. “I’m not a bad guy. I just don’t know how to do… this.” He motions between the two of us.

I take a moment to collect my thoughts and I start. “I’m a person, James. Instead of treating me like another business deal, why not treat me like a human?”

“Bucky,” he responds.

“Excuse me?”

“Bucky. I prefer to be called Bucky.”

“Oh. Bucky. Interesting name. Why?”

He smirks, knowing he’s tamed me for now. “My middle name is Buchanan, it was a nickname growing up and it stuck. Only my friends call me that. I’d like you to think of me as a friend.”

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. “Oh.”

Dinner arrives just in time for us to avoid more conversation. I have too many questions, but I need to get my thoughts together in order to ask them. Bucky is right, the food the chef prepared for us is delicious. It’s a roast chicken with decadent mashed potatoes and garlic green beans. I can see him looking over at me as I pick at my food, but I avoid his gaze, preferring not to talk.

We finish with few words being exchanged. Bucky pays the bill and we walk outside. Steve is waiting patiently by the car door and opens it when he sees us.

“Steve will bring you home. I have a few more things to finish first. He will show you around the house and show you to your room,” he replies typing into his phone.

“Oh. Alright. See you later then.” I walk away from him when he doesn’t even glance my direction.

When I’m settled in the car, Steve beings talking. “There is a special code to get into Mr. Barnes’ penthouse. I will program this information into your phone. The elevator will not stop at any floor and the doors open inside.”

“What business does he has tonight that couldn’t wait?” I ask, ignoring his instructions.

“Focus, Y/N. What Mr. Barnes is doing is no concern of yours. Now—”

“How long have you worked for him?”

He growls in frustration. “James and I have known one another since we were young and I have been working for his family for a long time.”

If he’s been working for the family for a long time, and he’s about the same age as Bucky there is no way he is his protector. “So you aren’t a bodyguard then?”

“I’m whatever Mr. Barnes requests.”

“Who’s he sleeping with?”

“I don’t have that information. Please, can we focus on the task at hand? I need to give you the security instructions for the house.”

“Are you able to come and go as you please? In the penthouse, I mean.”

He grits his teeth. “Yes. For the time being, I’ve been asked to stay. Just until you get used to living there.”

The car stops and Steve gets out, still annoyed I wouldn’t allow him to give me all the information he needed. He gives me the code for the elevator and programs everything into my phone as promised. I’m not sure what I was expecting to find when the doors slid open to his home, but this was not it.

The room is large and masculine. Dark furniture choices with very little in the way of artwork. It looks like he just moved in.

“Let me show you to your room. I’m sure you want to get settled.”

“Show me to James’ room. I’m curious.”

“No. His room is off limits.”

“Well, if I’m going to be his wife, it won’t be. How else am I supposed to help him produce an heir to an empire?”

Steve has the good grace to flush a little, and I follow him up the stairs.

“Your room is here.” He pushes the door open and allows me to enter. “My room is next to yours, and James’ is at the end of the hall. If you need anything, please come to me. I’ll help you get settled in.”

He closes the door behind me and I’m left alone for the evening.

After an hour or so, I sneak out and down the hallway to Bucky’s room. I’m curious as to what it looks like. Would it help give me a glimpse at the man behind the mask, so to speak? Or is it going to create more mystery? Only one way to find out. I twist the handle and it pushes open easily. The lights are off and I feel along the wall until my fingers brush the light switch.

His room has dark wood furniture with little in regards to wall art. Just like the living room. It smells like him in here and I inhale deeply. Something familiar wafts in the air and my thoughts turn to my ruined life. Never will be be able to marry for love. Never will I have children out of love. Never will I be able to make my own choices. The tears fall down my cheeks as I walk to his bed and sit on the edge.

It’s big, and soft, and comfortable. I lay back and cry myself to sleep.

~~

I wake the next morning with my cheek resting comfortably on a solid body. His heartbeat matches my own and his breathing is quiet and even. In a moment of panic I jerk away from him, startling him awake. I jump off the bed as he watches me. It’s like a cat watching his prey. He’s calm; but planning something.

“I’m so sorry, James.”

“Bucky,” he corrects.

“I just wanted to get an idea what your room was like. Just to understand what you are like. Please understand I can’t go into this not knowing who you are or what you do.” He sits up and the sheet falls around his slim waist, exposing his defined chest. He watches me, not saying anything. “I’m just going to go.” My hand is poised on the door and he stops me.

“Wait.” He takes a deep breath. “You have a right to know what you’re getting into. Come to work with me today.”

“You’d want me there?” I ask in disbelief.

“I think it can be a good… learning experience,” he smirks. I’m not entirely sure what he’s thinking, but the look of mischief in his eyes makes me a little scared.

Next Chapter

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[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime, Sweetheart: Part 5

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)

Features: Ackles & Padalecki Families, R2, Misha Collins & Vicky Vantoch, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln, Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, Corey Taylor and other cast members & OFCs* *THIS IS AN RPF FIC**

Series Masterlist Summary: (I’m horrible at summaries, but let me try): Kylin Ackles runs to her brother’s house after leaving her abusive boyfriend of 3 years, where she meets Jeffrey. Events unfold that bring them together, as well as push them apart.  Warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical Violence, mentions of rape, cursing, drinking, recreational drug use (weed), Strip Club, RPF, NSFW**, GIFs, implied smut, Age Difference, Slow burn, Emotional rollercoaster, poorly written smutt, etc… 18+ please

(A/N: This is strictly a work of fiction that I came up with off the top of my head. For fictional purposes his S/O & Son are not mentioned. I love him and his little family, though, so no hate intended. This is the first time posting anything on Tumblr, but I couldn’t get it out of my head since my ao3 fic is currently on hiatus because writers block. Feedback is appreciated. unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.)

TAGS: @jml509 @jesbakescookies @daddy-kink-confirmed @wayward-mirage

​   “Ho-Lee Shit, baby doll!” Jeffrey bellowed as I walked out of the bathroom from getting ready. 

   My red dress was floor length, but not overly formal. It was flowy with slits on the sides to show off my legs when walking, and had a scooping neckline that gathered around my belly, exposing some cleavage but not anything that would send me on the expressway to Hell. My black strappy heels lengthened my legs and showed off my calves. I had opted for loose curls in my hair and dramatic black eyes shadow and lashes but only gloss on my lips. There was even a nail salon below Jeffrey’s apartment complex so I had splurged on sharp black claws and a pedicure after lunch. I beamed at his praise again as I took in his ever-sexual form myself. He was in a button up shirt that had almost the exact same hue as my dress, which he assured me was a total coincidence, as well as nice dress slacks and the black blazer I had recently given back to him. He looked like a sex god on a stick. He quickly pulled me to his chest and ran his hands down my sides as he bent over to nuzzle his beard across the sensitive flesh that was my neck. 

“You look divine​, Ms. Ackles​.” He growled as he rocked us side to side.

“Why thank you, Mr. J” I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.    "Anytime, Sweetheart.“ There they were again, those two words. I couldn’t help the hum that rang through my chest. 

   He pulled away to look me up and down again, shaking is head as his eyes roamed with his tongue between his teeth. He kissed me on the forehead before turning and grabbing a box from his coffee table that I hadn’t noticed. It was wrapped in red sparkling wrapping paper and had a black bow. He held it out to me. "What’s this?” I questioned as I took the box from ​hi​s hand.    "I missed Christmas. And flowers aren’t the best birthday gift.“ he grinned and brushed his beard down.    I smiled back at him and begun unwrapping the paper. I pulled it all off to reveal a black suede jewelry case. I looked up to Jeffrey and he had crossed an arm across his ster​n​um to hold up his other arm at the elbow that was rubbing his chin. I opened the box to reveal the most beautiful chocolate diamond and rose gold owl pendant. I gasped as I touched it, words not forming in my brain.

  "This is too much, Jeffrey. How much did this cost you?” tears formed in my eyes against my will. ​​   “Just a couple hundred thousand, nothing serious” he deadpanned as my eyes went wide, “I’m kidding, sweet heart. But don​'​t worry about it. You deserve it.”        He reached for the box in my hand and removed the necklace. He walked behind me as I held my hair to the side so he could place the necklace on me and fasten the clasp. He let his cool fingertips run down my neck and onto my shoulders, eliciting shivers down my spine. He bent down to nuzzle his beard into my hair again, causing my breath to catch in my throat once more. ​    "Perfect,“ He breathed, dangerously close to my sensitive skin. He took advantage and ​let his lips drag themselves across the flesh of my exposed neck, "Always so perfect.”    I looked down to gather myself from the haze that was provided by his words before returning my stare to him though my lashes. I smiled lightly as he moved in front of me again and put his hands on my shoulders. “You’re too good to me, Jeff.”    "No one is ever too good for you. Always never good enough.“ He cupped my face into his hand and leaned in to kiss my forehead before extending his arm out for me, "Shall we?” “We shall” I laughed. 

      He had made special reservations at a very nice restaurant that neither of us could pronounce the name of. We sat in a back booth of the dimly lit area, sipping wine and laughing a little too loud about absolutely everything.       “And then Dani just screeched at me as loud as she could ‘Get these fucking things outta me!’ while almost breaking my fucking hand! I swear to God if I ever have children then I want to be loaded up with the best drugs on the market. All that other bullshit is insane. I feel so bad for Gen right now.” I laughed, taking a sip from my glass.       “Who in the hell would do that to themselves? Twins especially? And Genevieve should know any kid of Jared’s is already bound to be a fucking bowling ball.” He barked before taking a bite of his steak      "That’s what I said!“ I huffed as I stabbed a piece of my own strip as well.       "So,” I spoke, trying to swallow my bite as I brought my napkin to my mouth, “Where are we watching the fire works?”    He narrowed his eyes at me and chuckled before looking down to his plate, “You can’t let anything be a surprise, can you?” My response was me rolling my eyes. “The roof.” he pointed upwards with a mouth full of potato.

    We were standing on the roof of the building, surrounded by a bout a hundred other people, but the only person in my line of vision was Jeffrey. I looked up at him, arms around his neck, feeling his hands at my hips as he swayed us to the rhythm of the music being played. 

   "You’re so fucking beautiful.“ He breathed, leaning down to touch his for head to mine. I closed my eyes and smiled as the 10 second countdown began. I raised my eyes back to him as the seconds ticked by, and found myself lost in his irises. He rubbed his hands up my body and pushed them into my hair in the final seconds,

    "3…2…1” he whispered, although at this point i was completely oblivious to anything else around me as he inched his face closer to mine. He tightened his grip on my hair as he closed the gap between our mouths, a long awaited moment finally erupting as fireworks took off in the background at the ball’s decent. My eyes squeezed shut tightly and a moan erupted from my lungs as I held onto his shirt under his blazer for dear life, praying I wasn’t dreaming. He eagerly parted my lips with his own and pushed his tongue past my teeth as I pushed my own tongue back against his in a violently dance for dominance. His hands left my hair so one could hold my neck lovingly and the other could drag itself down my body to the small of my back, then slightly lower, pulling me flush with his body. His fingertips kneaded into the waistband under my dress and he hummed into my mouth when he felt my breath hitch at his touch. When the shouts and celebratory screams had died down was when he finally pulled away from me and we both gasped in a breath of air before opening our eyes.      And when I finally did let my eyes flutter open to be met with his intensity, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread over my face. He smiled back nervously, brought his hands up to my face again and searched my eyes. I threw my self forward and kissed him again, and he smiled into me while dipping me backwards, pulling me as close as possible to him.    When we completely pulled apart again I wasn’t lost anymore. I wasn’t broken. I was just falling.

     The Uber ride home was a blur. Neither of us could keep our hands away from each other, making the poor driver extremely uncomfortable. It was a haze of teeth and lips and limbs, and it wasn’t until we were back in his apartment that either one of us even attempted to compose ourselves.    "Wanna drink?“ He asked as his lips were still pressed against mine as he pulled off his blazer. "Yes,” I replied, only pulling away to shrug off my own coat.      He drug me over to the couch and sat me down, leaning over again to plant kiss on my forehead before smiling into my eyes. He pulled his hand out of my hair with a lingering touch that made my stomach warm and my heart flutter.      He sauntered over to the bar cabinet with a new little swagger that I hadn’t noticed before. He grinned at me as he pulled out the bottle of whiskey and two glasses. His eyes only left me briefly as he looked down to pour our drinks.      Once back over at the couch, he handed me my glass while sitting at the other end of the sofa. He pulled my feet into his lap with his free hand and rubbed my ankles.      "So little, how do you walk in these things?“ He chuckled as he wrapped his whole hand around my left ankle and gave it a squeeze. I hummed a small laugh in response.      He removed my shoes from my feet with one swift movement of his hand as he brought his glass to his lips. He began to massage my soles as his eyes danced up my legs and over my frame and back to my face. A smirk appeared as he leaned forward to place his glass on the coffee table.       I eyed him suspiciously as I raised my own glass for a drink, almost finishing it in one gulp as the look in his eyes altered, causing my anxiety to rise from the pit. He leaned over side ways on the couch, rubbing both of his calloused hands up my legs to my thighs. I swallowed again as he lowered his mouth to the the tattooed flesh of my right leg below the hemline of my dress. His eyes never left mine as he leaned up slightly to push one of my legs forward to then pull it behind his back and lean forward again, now settling between my legs. My shaking hands brought the glass to my lips for the final sip before I sat it down to join Jeffrey’s on the table.       One hand instinctively moved to my chest to finger the pendant resting against my cleavage as the other roamed through Jeffrey’s hair, feeling the softness. My breathing caught again as he pushed himself up by my hips, pulling himself up to place his hands on the couch above my shoulders, encasing me with his body. My thighs automatically wrapped themselves around the back of his legs to allow him more room as he rolled his hips forward and kissed me on the mouth again.    "Mmmm, baby, you feel so good,” He groaned after a moment of shifting his body against mine. My mind was so hazy with lust and alcohol that all I could do was whimper and dig my nails into his shoulders. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw, then down further to my neck, gently nipping at the sensitive flesh with his lips and teeth. My breathing was heavy as my chest heaved against him as he moved his mouth down to the valley between my breasts. He shifted his weight to hold himself up on one arm as the other roamed down to push the neckline of my dress away from my bra so he could have better access. He licked over the flesh pushing against the constricting lace, his scruff rubbing against the sensitive areas and leaving red marks that brought another moan from my lips and made my body shiver. I closed my eyes before they could roll to the back of my head and arched up into him, both hands tugging at his waves as the heat between us pooled and pooled. A low growl reverberated within him as he crashed his lips back to mine and bucked his hips forward again, seizing another whimper from me. 

   "So beautiful…“ he whispered into my neck as my own hips pushed upwards to grind against him.    "Jeff,” I breathed, my anxiety and arousal mixing together to further dampen my ability to speak as we continued to move against each other. He let another deep groan ripple through him and it went straight to my soul as his hand on my side moved lower to grip behind my knee and lift my leg up further onto his hip. He ground down harder, sending another shot of ecstasy through my groin as his hardness pressed and rubbed against me. I couldn’t stop my erratic breathing or shaking hands, even as I pulled him back to my lips by his hair, digging my sharp nails into his scalp.     He pulled away from me and leaned up to kneel between my legs, still letting his hands roam across my hips and thighs. My legs were parted and my dress had only risen up slightly, but he still brought his hands to the hemline to pull it back down further. He exhaled deeply, eyes hungrily taking in my disheveled appearance below him.     “We’ve gotta stop or you’re gonna make me nut my pants.” He chuckled, fingers glancing over my thighs and knees. My hands met his strong thighs and he let me run my palms up them before stopping me when I shakily reached his belt buckle.      "Not tonight, sweetheart.“ He breathed, closing his eyes and removing my hands. He leaned forward to wrap an arm around my waist before rolling back sideways to reposition us to where I was sitting in his lap, straddling him. I leaned forward to capture his lips with mine as my hair fell in our faces. He brought his hand that still held my wrists up to his chest before leaving them there to tangle his fingers back into my wrecked curls.       "You’re so fucking beautiful,” He repeated before a heavy gasp against my open mouth. I licked his upper lip as he drew my bottom one into his teeth and nibbled gently, causing me to grind down on him and moan lightly.       “Fuckkk.” He groaned, raising his hips to meet mine one last time before pulling away and holding my head still in front of his face as his eyes darted back and forth into mine, “How do you do this to me?”        I smiled innocently while searching his irises myself and reaching up to cup his chin, letting my finger tips run through the coarse silver hair. I bit my lip gently before I whispered, “I don’t know.”       He swallowed and licked his lips before speaking again, in a raspy almost-whisper, “I’m not gonna rush this thing with you. I know you’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to be someone who does it to you again. I don’t know what this is, or what you want it to be. But I know I enjoy spending time with you, enjoy being around you, enjoy touching you,” he squeezed my hips and dug his fingers into the top of my ass, enticing a gasping laugh from me and another deep smile from him before he continued with a husky drawl, “I want you to know that you’re safe with me. That I’m not going to hurt you. That I don’t expect anything from you.” He moved his hand to push a fallen strand of hair behind my ear.       “Thank you, Jeff.” I whispered, trying to fight the emotion that the alcohol and mood threatened to push over my tear ducts.   “Anytime, Sweetheart.” He grinned, and I instantly melted back into his kiss. 

     "I don’t want to go home tomorrow.“ I whined as we lay in his bed the next morning. We weren’t touching, but we were in mirrored positions on our backs, one hand above our heads and the other on our stomachs. "Then don’t go.” He hummed, turning his head to look at me.    "I have to be at work by 8, silly, I got bills.“ I giggled, turning my own head to face him.    He rolled his eyes, "I’ll pay your bills and I’m sure John knows how to order a case of booze and some beer.”    I glared back at him sarcastically, ignoring the first half of his comment, “Yeah, because that’s the only thing I do.” I rolled my eyes, “I swear that man would burn that place to the fucking ground if I weren’t following him around with a fire extinguisher.” I looked back to the ceiling, “Plus, apparently I’m due for a promotion.”    "Oh yeah?“ He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up with his knuckles.    "Yeah, one of the vice managers managers moved to corporate so John’s unfortunately getting to take over his spot as dance manager. I’ll be getting his spot, apparently.”    "Big boss lady in a suit, huh?“ He grinned, poking me in the sides. I giggled and smacked his hand away lightly. "Yeah, I guess so. I never expected it, honestly. Figured I’d be doomed to sling drinks for tips for the rest of my days, but apparently Cliff insisted.” I rolled over towards him as he moved his hand to my hip.    "I’m sure Tom will miss staring at your tits all night.“ He smirked and I slapped his chest, "What? You tease that man too much.”    "Please, he’ll prolly be up my ass more when he sees my tits in a vest.“ I shook my head at the thought and couldn’t contain my laughter.    "I probably will be too.” He wagged his eyebrows up and down as he tightened his grip on my hip.     I scooted over to him to give him a brief kiss before rolling out of the bed to stand up. I started towards the bathroom as I felt his hand come down with a soft 'smack’ on my cotton-short-clad ass. I gasped and spun back around to him looking away innocently. “What?” he grinned, returning his eyes to me, “I couldn’t help myself.”

    We spent the morning lounging around his apartment drinking coffee and watching TV. I busted out in a fit of laughter when I was flipping through channels while he was in the bathroom and came across the  tail end of the second season premiere of Supernatural. When he came back into the room I had tears rolling down my face and was clutching my sides. “What’s so funny, little girl?” He grinned, confused.     I turned the volume on the television up and spoke John Winchester’s line at the same time as the TV, feigning the emotion that he had in the scene, “I just want you to know that I’m proud of you.” I looked up at him with watery eyes and reached for his hand. He instantly erupted in his own laughter as he plopped himself on the sofa beside me and stole the remote. “Enough of that, now.” He shook his head and flipped the channel.    "You’re no fun.“ I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest as he tried to pull me into his side.    "Pffft, I’m a riot.” he retorted, throwing his arm over my shoulder as I snuggled into his ribs.    "Whatever, old man. Whatever you say.“ I poked his ribs and he jerked away from me.    "Yeah, whatever I say goes.” He growled, bring his hand around my shoulder down to lightly smack me on the ass again. “Yes sir” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. He growled as he narrowed his eyes, “Don’t start that, Missy.” “Start what, Mr. J?” I smiled coyly, earning me another low grumble from him. “Lunchtime?” He asked as he heard the unmistakable rumble of my belly. “Always.”

   Lunch was prepared by Chef Jeffrey Dean Morgan himself, and consisted of grilled chicken, garlic pasta, and mixed vegetables. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the first bite.    "Stick with me girl, we’ll get you thick in no time.“ He chuckled beside me at the table, poking at my stomach.    "Please, I’ve attempted the whole 'gains’ thing with Jared, didn’t work. I gotta fucked up thyroid.” I shoveled more food in my mouth as he continued to giggle.       Once I scarfed down the rest of my food I was back on the couch shifting through channels. Jeffrey was rinsing off the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang, “Can you get that for me, sweet-pea?” he shouted to me.      Anxiety instantly trembled through me, remembering the last time I’d answered the door to a home that wasn’t mine,  "I’d rather not…“      Jeff appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, dishrag in his hand,  and gave me a sympathetic look, repeating his previous words again, "You’re safe here, honey,” before heading towards the front door. “Who is it?” He hollered, wiping his hands with the towel while looking through the peep hole. 

     "Little pig, little pig! Let. Me. In!“ came from the other side of the door before the door bell rang again in short sporadic increments. 

   Jeffrey barked out a loud laugh as he pulled the door open and in marched Norman, two bottles of what I could only assume was liquor in his hands.      "Who’s up for some fucking day drinking?- Oh hey, Ms. Ackles, I didn’t know you’d be here.” Norman lifted on of the bottles in salutation to me.      "Hey, Norman" I said, feeling my nervousness shift away. ’No one can get me here.’ “How’re you doin’, girl?” He said as I stood up to give him a hug.      "Good, you?“ I responded as I watched him pull the bottles out of their paper bags.      "Better now! Came to get day drunk with my buddy and he’s got a hot girl here too? Winner Winner.” He laughed.      "She’s been here all weekend, douche bag, you’ve known this.“ Jeffrey joined us at the table with three glasses, shaking his head.     "Yeah, but I figured I’d give y'all a little alone time, if you know what I mean” Norman wiggled his eyebrows at the both of us as he popped open the bottle of Crown, “M’ Lady?” He held the bottle up to me as a question. “It’s 12:30 in the afternoon, Norman.” I giggled and shook my head.      "A double she says!“ he barked out in an Irish accent as he poured a healthy glass before sliding it towards me. I shook my head again as I picked up the tumbler.      "Happy fucking New Year!” Norman shouted as he pushed a drink into Jeff’s hand and raised his own in the air, a little bit splashing on the table.      "Watch the mahogany, dick.“ Jeff jabbed before tossing his glass back and finishing it in two huge gulps.      I lifted my own glass and took a sip, and Norman and Jeff both stared at me like I had an arrow sticking from my head. "What?” I asked, confused as hell. “I thought you were a professional drinker?” Norman teased.      "Norman…“ a halfhearted growl came from Jeff, I just quirked my eyebrow.      "Okay, then.” I shook my head once more as I tilted my head back and downed all the amber liquid in my glass in one gulp, not even cringing at the burn. Both the men’s eyes went wide. “Professional drinker” I pointed out as I exhaled the taste.      "I like 'er, Jeff. Let’s keep her around.“ Norman beamed as he threw his arms over both mine and Jeff’s shoulders, pulling us in towards him.      "Y'all have no idea what ya’ll’re getting yourselves into” I chuckled back, alcohol already bringing the twang out in my voice.      "You know what they say 'bout them Texas girls, boy…wooo-weee" Norman poured us all another double.     “That’ we’re all emotionally unstable, bat shit crazy bitches with drinking problems?” I asked, barking out my own laugh as I raised the second glass to my mouth. Norman and Jeff both looked at me with shocked expressions, “What? It’s the fucking truth?” I took a deep swallow of the liquid. “I think I can handle it” Jeff grinned, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me near him as he downed his whiskey.

By 5 o'clock we had finished the first bottle and were all pretty intoxicated.      "You comin’ to the next convention with us, honey?“ Norman asked as he wedged his way between Jeff and I on the sofa.      "There’s a perfectly good chair right there man” Jeffrey grumbled, motioning to the arm chair with his glass.      "This spot is better. Anyways, darlin’, so, you gonna come see us?“ He asked again. "I have this thing called a job…” I laughed, taking a sip from the glass of whiskey I had cut with a coke I found in the fridge. “And?” Norman deadpanned. “And I need to work. What is with ya’ll?” I shook my head.      "You know Jeff here will make sure your bills get paid,“ Norman stated, nodding his head towards the other man who just gave me a 'well, I would’ face. I rolled my eyes, "I’m not a sugar baby.” “Never said you were.” It was Jeff who replied.      I narrowed my eyes at both of them before getting off the couch to pour me a stiffer drink. 

    The night wore on, and by the 10 o'clock  the second bottle was halfway done, I was laying on the couch drifting in and out of sleep as Norman and Jeffrey talked in the dining room.      "Man, she’s something else,“ Norman chuckled lowly, eyeing my tiny frame snoring softly on the sofa.      "I think this is the first time I’ve actually outdrank her.” Jeff rasped jokingly as he brought his glass to his lips to take a sip. “Everything going alright?” Norman asked with a sideways glance.      "Yeah, brother, everything is great so far. I feel like a 14 year old kid, though.“ Jeffrey sighed as he placed his glass on the table, "I don’t wanna do anything to trigger her, ya know?” “I get it man, but you’re not like that anyway.”      "Obviously, but I’ve seen how that shit can affect someone. The first time I tried to touch her after that piece of shit got to her at Jensens’, damn, man…she was so broken" He trailed off, blinking away the emotions of the memory. “Well that’s why she needs you to help fix her, dude. duh” “I just don’t wanna push the poor girl into feeling like she says she did with that asshole.” “Then don’t.” Norman said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jeffrey simply nodded his head and turned to stare at me.

     The next morning I was at the airport, sporting my baggy sweat pants, a tank top with my unzipped Heartagram hoodie, and one of Jeffrey’s beanies I’d stolen. My hangover was in full affect, and I felt like I was going to die from a headache at any moment.      "Whyyyyyy?“ I whined, stomping my foot as I leaned my head into Jeffrey’s sternum, waiting on my bags to be checked.       "It’ll be alright, sweetpea, just have a drink on the plane and get some sleep.” He curled his long arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my beanie-clad head. “Just what I need, more booze” I grumbled as my stomach turned.      Once my bag was checked and the plane was ready for boarding, Jeffrey engulfed me into his arms and leaned down to smother me in a passionate kiss. His tounge danced around with mine, exploring my mouth with urgency as he tangled a hand in my hair. I couldnt stop the tears from springing to my eyes as his other hand gripped my hip and pulled me as close as I could be to him.      "Shh, baby doll, its okay. Dont cry.“ He whispered as he wiped the few stray tears away from my cheeks. "I can’t help it, I’m such a fucking pussy.” I laughed, shaking my head against his chest. “Then what the hell am I?” He looked down at me, his own watery eyes about to spill over. “A bigger pussy,” I sniffled before giving him the last kiss I could before god knows how long.

part six:  https://hornsbeforehalos.tumblr.com/post/163863683399/anytime-sweetheart-part-6

[readbookywooks]

I SPENT MY LAST WEEKEND SAYING silent good-byes. I visited every one of my favorite spots: library, swimming pool, cinema, parks, soccer field. I went to some of the places with Mom or Dad, some with Alan Morris or Tommy Jones. I would have liked to spend time with Steve but couldn't bear to face him. I got the feeling, every so often, that I was being followed, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. But whenever I turned to look, nobody was there, Eventually I put it down to nerves and ignored it. I treated every minute with my family and friends as if it was special. I paid close attention to their faces and voices, so I would never forget. I knew I'd never see these people again and that tore me apart inside, but it was the way it had to be. There was no going back. They could do nothing wrong that weekend. Mom's kisses didn't embarrass me, Dad's orders didn't bother me, Alan's stupid jokes didn't annoy me. I spent more time with Annie than with anybody else. I was going to miss her the most. I gave her piggyback rides and swung her around by the arms and took her to the soccer field with me and Tommy. I even played with her dolls! Sometimes I felt like crying. I'd look at Mom or Dad or Annie and realize how much I loved them, how empty my life would be without them. I had to turn aside at moments like that and take long, deep breaths. A couple of times that didn't work and I rushed away to cry in private. I think they guessed something was wrong. Mom came into my room that Saturday night and stayed for a long time, tucking me into bed, telling me stories, listening to me talk. It had been years since we'd spent time together like that. I felt sorry, after she'd gone, that we hadn't had more nights like this. In the morning, Dad asked if there was anything I wanted to discuss with him. He said I was a growing young man and would be going through lots of changes, and he'd understand if I had mood swings or wanted to go off by myself. But he would always be there for me to talk to. "You'll be there, but I won't be!" I felt like crying, but I kept quiet, nodded my head, and thanked him. I behaved as perfectly as possible. I wanted to leave a fine final impression, so they would remember me as a good son, a good brother, a good friend. I didn't want anybody thinking badly of me when I was gone. Dad was going to take us out to a restaurant for dinner that Sunday, but I asked if we could stay home to eat. This would be my last meal with them and I wanted it to be special. When I was looking back on it in later years, I wanted to be able to remember us together, at home, a happy family. Mom cooked my favorite food: chicken, roast potatoes, corn on the cob. Annie and me had freshly squeezed orange juice to drink. Mom and Dad shared a bottle of wine. We had strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Everybody was in a good mood. We sang songs. Dad cracked terrible jokes. Mom played a tune with a pair of spoons. Annie recited a few poems. Everybody joined in for a game of charades. It was a day I wished would never end. But, of course, all days must, and finally, as it always does, the sun dropped and the darkness of night crept across the sky. Dad looked up after a while, then at his watch. "Time for bed," he said. "You two have school in the morning." "No," I thought, "I don't. I don't have school ever again." That should have cheered me up but all I could think was: "No school means no Mr. Dalton, no friends, no soccer, no school trips." I delayed going to bed as long as I could. I spent forever taking off my clothes and putting on my pajamas; longer still washing my hands and face and brushing my teeth. Then, when it could be avoided no longer, I went downstairs to the living room, where Mom and Dad were talking. They looked up, surprised to see me. "Are you all right, Darren?" Mom asked. "I'm fine," I said. "You're not feeling sick?" "I'm fine," I assured her. "I just wanted to say good night." I put my arms around Dad, then kissed him on the cheek. Next I did the same with Mom. "Good night," I said to each. "This is one for the books." Dad laughed, rubbing his cheek where I had kissed him. "How long since he kissed the two of us good night, Angie?" "Too long." Mom smiled, patting my head. "I love you," I told them. "I know I haven't said it very often, but I do. I love the both of you and always will." "We love you, too," Mom said. "Don't we, Dermot?" "Of course we do," Dad said. "Well, tell him," she insisted. Dad sighed. "I love you, Darren," he said, rolling his eyes in a way he knew would make me laugh. Then he gave me a hug. "Really I do," he said, serious this time. I left them then. I stood outside the door a while, listening to them talk, reluctant to depart. "What do you think brought that on?" Mom asked. "Kids," Dad snorted. "Who knows how their minds work?" "There's something up," Mom said. "He's been acting oddly for some time now." "Maybe he's got a girlfriend," Dad suggested. "Maybe," Mom said, but didn't sound convinced. I'd lingered long enough. I was afraid that if I waited any longer, I might rush into the room and tell them what was really the matter. If I did, they'd stop me from going ahead with Mr. Crepsley's plan. They'd say that vampires weren't real and fight to keep me with them, in spite of the danger. I thought of Annie and how close I'd come to biting her, and knew I must not let them stop me. I trudged upstairs to my room. It was a warm night and the window was open. That was important. Mr. Crepsley was waiting in the closet. He emerged when he heard me closing the door. "It is stuffy in there," he complained. "I feel sorry for Madam Octa, having had to spend so much time in..." "Shut up," I told him. "No need to be rude," he sniffed. "I was merely making a comment." "Well, don't," I said. "You might not think much of this place but I do. This has been my home, my room, my closet, ever since I can remember. And I'm never going to see it again after tonight. This is my last little while here. So don't bad-mouth it, all right?" "I am sorry," he said. I took one long last look around the room, then sighed unhappily. I pulled a bag out from underneath the bed and handed it to Mr. Crepsley. "What is this?" he asked suspiciously. "Some personal stuff," I told him. "My diary. A picture of my family. A couple of other things. Nothing that will be missed. Will you watch it for me?" "Yes," he said. "But only if you promise not to look through it," I said. "Vampires have no secrets from each other," he said. But, when he saw my face, he shrugged. "I will not open it," he promised. "All right," I said, taking a deep breath. "Do you have the potion?" He nodded and handed over a small dark bottle. I looked inside. The liquid was dark and thick and foul-smelling. Mr. Crepsley moved behind me and laid his hands on my neck. "You're sure this will work?" I asked nervously. "Trust me," he said. "I always thought a broken neck meant people couldn't walk or move," I said. "No," he replied. "The bones of the neck do not matter. Paralysis only happens if the spinal cord a long nerve running down the middle of the neck breaks. I will be careful not to damage it." "Won't the doctors think it's strange?" I asked. "They will not check," he said. "The potion will slow your heart down so much, they will be sure you are dead. They will find the broken neck and put two and two together. If you were older, they might go ahead with an autopsy. But no doctor likes cutting a child open. "Now, are you totally clear on what is going to happen and how you must act?" he asked. "Yes," I said. "There must be no mistakes," he warned. "If you make just one slip our plans will fall apart." "I'm not a fool! I know what to do!" I snapped. "Then do it," he said. So I did. With one angry gesture, I swallowed the contents of the bottle. I grimaced at the taste, then shuddered as my body started to stiffen. There wasn't much pain but an icy feeling spread through my bones and veins. My teeth began to chatter. It took about ten minutes for the poison to work its deadly charms. At the end of that time I couldn't move any of my limbs, my lungs weren't working (well, they were, but very, very slowly), and my heart had stopped (again, not fully, but enough for its beat to be undetectable). "I am going to snap the neck now," Mr. Crepsley said, and I heard a quick clicking sound as he jerked my head to one side. I couldn't feel anything: my senses were dead. "There," he said. "That should do it. Now I am going to throw you out of the window." He carried me over and stood there a moment with me, breathing in the night air. "I have to throw you hard enough to make it look genuine," he said. "You might break some bones in the fall. They will start hurting when the potion wears off after a few days but I will fix them up later on. "Here we go!" He picked me up, paused a moment, then hurled me out and down. I fell quickly, the house whizzing past in a blur, and landed heavily on my back. My eyes were open and I found myself staring at a drain at the foot of the house. For a while my body went undetected, so I lay there, listening to the sounds of the night. In the end, a passing neighbor spotted me and investigated. I couldn't see his face but I heard his gasp when he turned me over and saw my lifeless body. He rushed straight around to the front of the house and pounded on the door. I could hear his voice as he shouted for my mother and father. Then their voices as he led them around back. They thought he was pulling their leg or had been mistaken. My father was marching angrily and muttering to himself. The footsteps stopped when they rounded the bend and saw me. For a long, terrible moment there was complete silence. Then Dad and Mom rushed forward and picked me up. "Darren!" Mom screamed, clutching me to her chest. "Let go, Angie," Dad shouted, prying me free and laying me down on the grass. "What's wrong with him, Dermot?" Mom wailed. "I don't know. He must have fallen." Dad stood and gazed up at my open bedroom window. I could see his hands flexing into fists. "He's not moving," Mom said calmly, then grabbed me and shook me fiercely. "He's not moving!" she screamed. "He's not moving. He's..." Dad once again eased her hands away. He beckoned our neighbor over and handed Mom to him. "Take her inside," he said softly. "Call for an ambulance. I'll stay here and look after Darren." "Is he...dead?" our neighbor asked. Mom moaned loudly when he said it and buried her face in her hands. Dad shook his head softly. "No," he said, giving Mom's shoulder a light squeeze. "He's just paralyzed, like his friend was." Mom lowered her hands. "Like Steve?" she asked half-hopefully. "Yes." Dad smiled. "And he'll snap out of it like Steve. Now go call for help, okay?" Mom nodded, then hurried away with our neighbor. Dad held his smile until she was out of sight, then bent over me, checked my eyes, and felt my wrist for a pulse. When he found no sign of life, he laid me back down, brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes, then did something I'd never expected to see. He started to cry. And that was how I came to enter a new, miserable phase of my life, namely death.