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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years

Text

Being MSBY's Manager

Relationship Troubles with Sakusa

Sakusa Kiyoomi featuring MSBY x Female Manager

Warnings: Swearing (mom drops the f bomb alot 😅 we shall call it a "sentence enhancer" 💅🏼), Sakusa being an absolute ass, major angst to fluff, Sakusa is toxic but I'm making him work on himself 🥰, suggestive ending

A/N: I 💙 emotional pain 🥲 so let's do Sakusa! A big shout out to Gen Z anon for helping me with the ending 😘

Ope 😶

I think we are about to really feel this one

Sakusa can be a little... brash

He's a Pisces/Aries cusp- two very emotional signs

And I totally see him being a "tell it like it is" type character

So being his partner might be kind of tough

I do think this man loves just as hard as Bokuto and Atsumu- but he definitely needs time to himself

I mean we all do- self 👏🏻 care 👏🏻

So let's get into this heartbreak shall we 🙃

First off, you met him at some random place ✋🏻

Sakusa probably isn't the type to date online

But 👀 hear me out

You are in the laundromat doing your laundry

You had just graduated and moved to a new city

Your ex boyfriend, a complete POS, had found you clingy and annoying

Spoiler alert: you aren't, men just suck 😒

He had cheated on you numerous times because he said you were "too needy and not giving enough in return" 🙄

Can we all say Toxic?

Your friends told you it wasn't true and you knew it wasn't

But your past relationship had really affected you

So you decided to start anew in a brand new city 🙌🏻

Honestly goals!

You have a load going and decide to clean out the lint traps of some of the dryers

I mean 1) it's a fire hazard 2) it's just a nice thing to do 🤗

And that's our sweet bby YN

A gorgeous, sweet, caring woman who always wants to help

While you're throwing the lint away, you see a tall man, wearing a mask watching you

He has gorgeous dark curly hair and dark eyes

And his dark eyes lock on yours

You gulp and blush because like, someone's watching you AND he's hot 🥵

Being Sakusa he walks up to you

"What are you doing?"- Sakusa

You 👉🏻 👁👄👁 huh-

"Why are you cleaning the lint traps out? That's not your job"- Sakusa

Ok then- forward much?

"Oh I- I uh like to do nice things. And you never know, it could make someone's life a little easier"- you smiling up at the tall man

He totally just narrows his eyes at you- and turns to leave

Ok then 😐

You turn and walk back to your clothes, moving them from the washer to the dryer

You proceed to wipe down the washer you used with a sanitizing wipe

Again, we are in a pandemic and it's just nice to do!

Sakusa gets up, approaching you again

"Now what are you doing?"- he questions, looming over you

You look up at him, eyes widening 😳

"Uh I'm wiping down the washer I used"- you answering the question

"I didn't know people did that"- Sakusa looking at you

"Well most don't but it just seems hygienic to me. Like common sense I guess"-you shrug

"Mind if I have some of those wipes"- Sakusa asks, mouth still covered by his mask

"Of course! Help yourself"- you hand them to him as you turn to continue your crusade

Sakusa is intrigued by you

An absolutely stunning women doing laundry alone in the laundry mat

Yet you take time out of you day to help others 💙

When your laundry is dry, you take it out and begin to fold it

"Why are you doing laundry in a laundromat alone? Isn't that dangerous?"- Sakusa blurts out, still watching you

"Umm well I don't think it's any more dangerous than walking thought a convince store. I mean there is cameras. Plus I start a new job tomorrow and I need clean clothes"- you say, shrugging as you fold your leggings, putting them in the basket

"Yeah but still anything could happen. I mean you are a stunning women"- Sakusa

Honestly fire signs are way to blunt for our own good

It enters our brain and comes right out our mouths 🙃

"Well thank you, you are a very good looking man as well"- You, winking 😉 at Sakusa

Please this makes him smile behind his mask 😫😫😫

You pack up your clothing and turn to face Sakusa

"Well it was nice meeting you-"

"Sakusa- Sakusa Kiyoomi"

"Kiyoomi, I'm LN YN!! Good luck with your laundry"- you say smiling as you walk out of the laundrymat

Smooth YN, Smooth 😏

Sakusa debates for a few minutes if he should go ask for your number

He ultimately decides not too

But believe me when I say he kicks himself over and over again for not doing it

However, lucky for him, I'm writing this 🙌🏻

And in my world, we grant 🎆 second changes 🎆

Which is EXACTLY what happens 🤩

Sakusa walks into training the next morning tired

He was beating himself up last night for not asking you for your number

He may of thought of a plan or two to try and find you again

Which included swinging by the laundromat daily to check for you

And/or leaving a note on the laundromat bulletin board addressed to you

He thought about it as he stepped into the locker room, hearing Atsumu talking

God it was too early for that 😒

"Did you guys see the new manager? She's hot as hell!"- Atsumu

"Don't even think about it Sumu, Captain already said she's off limits"- Barnes said laughing from his locker

"Hey a man can dream right Omi?"- Atsumu says as Sakusa set his gear down

"Dream big Sumu"- Sakusa said as Bokuto and Hinata came leaping into the locker room

"New manager day!"- Bokuto shouted

"Please take it easy on this one Bo. We'd like to keep her for more than a week"- Inunaki said walking out into the gym

Sakusa changed and made his way out to the gym

He say Meian talking to a women who was facing away from the team

Her hair streamed down her back as she looked up and laughed at something Meian had said

The men lined up as Meian addressed the group, the woman turning around

Holy shit- 😳

Her eyes widened when they met his and he couldn't help but smile

Yn Ln, the weird laundromat girl, was their new manager 😱

The interaction was not missed by Thomas who elbowed Sakusa

"Hey Omi, you know her?"- Thomas probed

"Wait Omi knows that hotty?"- Hinata

Sakusa glared at Hinata as YN approaches him

"Kiyoomi! How nice to see you again. I didn't know you played for MSBY?"- you asked, your smile so bright it almost blinded everyone in the gym

Pure perfection YN 💅🏼

"Yeah, I'm a uh- wing spiker. I didn't know you were a manager?" Sakusa questioned, rubbing the back of his neck

"Yeah I was for my college team! I just graduated a few months ago and this job came up and I figured I'd try for it! I'm so glad we will be working together"- You, so excited and bubbly

"Wow that's awesome"- Sakusa says, smiling down at you

Please all the guys are like 👁👄👁

They've never seem their Omi Omi so happy before

During training, you proved yourself worthy of the title of MSBY's Manager

Practice was ending and Atsumu was still serving

You step under the net and get in position

Everyone watches you in fascination as you get in a receiving position

"Umm- YN what you are doing?"- Meian asks, curious

"Yeah YN, don't you know my serves are deadly"- Atsumu 💅🏼

You just roll you eyes 🙄

"Trust me Atsumu, I'll be fine. Just send it up"- you, getting a perfect receiving stance

The guys all watch you, Sakusa intrigued but also nervous

"Suit yourself YN"- Atsumu says sending up the ball and slamming it into the opposite court

Only it doesn't hit the floor 👀

Because you pulled off a perfect receive, sending it right to where the setter would be

"Holy shit YN that was incredible!"- Hinata shouts as he runs towards you

Sakusas eyes widen and his mouth gapes

Man just fell harder for our Queen 🥰

"I'm betting YN use to play. Libero perhaps?"- Inunaki announced

"You caught me"- you laugh putting your hands up

"That's so cool YN!!! Did you ever make it to nationals??"- Bokuto

"We did, my third year! We were in the top 8 but then got eliminated unfortunately"- you ask smiling at the fond memory

Sakusa walked over to join the team who was now surrounding you

"Atsumu that is one wicked serve you got there"- you, looking at a now sulking Atsumu

"I can't believe you received that"- Sumu said as he looked at you with narrow eyes

You just shrug and smile

"Ok ok- practice is over. Time to get out so YN can do her job"- Meian says, ushering the men to the locker rooms

Sakusa watched you as you went about your duties, taking down the nets and cleaning the floor

It was obvious you were a pro when it came to cleanliness and your job

"God she's even hotter than I imagined she'd be"- Atsumu said, taking off his sweat dampened shirt

Pls at this point I'm writing drabble/hcs and turning it into soft-core smut 🤣

"I wonder if she has a boyfriend"- Hinata

"Nope- she's single"- Meian said interrupting

"And you would know because..."- Thomas

Please Meian is one of those guys you just instantly trust 🤚🏻

I'd spill all my secrets to that man without a second thought

Meian shrugged "she just told me she moved here alone a few months ago. A bad relationship or something"

"Damn well maybe I'll ask her if she's interested in seeing the town"- Atsumu

Before anyone could say anything, Sakusa walks up to Atsumu

Stared him dead in the eyes 😐 and says "stay away from her Miya"

Possessive men am I right 🥵🥵🥵

Please these nosey bitches are like ope- 👀

"Does Omi have a little crush?"- Bokuto

Please Sakusa glares at him and it makes Bokuto so nervous 😅

"Alright alright, Sumu stay away from YN. And Sakusa-" Meian says looking at him

"Don't kill Atsumu"

Please Sakisa grabs his towel, walking to shower saying "I make no promises" ✌🏻

Over the next few weeks, you got accustomed to your job as MSBY's Manager

You learned the quirks of the guys, their likes and dislikes

You realized that Bokuto needs constant praise or you'll be dealing with emo mode

And Bokuto emo mode is the WORST

Please Bokuto laid, face down on the gym floor for 2 hours after practice because he kept getting blocked

You had to drag him across the floor in order to clean said floor 🤣

You also learned a lot about the guys eating habits

You'd often have to set timers to make the guys get off the court to eat

"Ok time for lunch" you announce as Sakusa, Meian, Barnes, Thomas and Inunaki come off the court

"Sumu, Shoyo and Kotaro, I'm talking to you three! Get off now!"- you say, hands on your hips, mom voice radiating

"Make me"- Atsumu

Please, move over Iwaizumi because there's a new sheriff in town 💅🏼

You whip a volleyball straight at Atsumu as it hits him, causing him to fall forward

"Ouch YN"- Sumu

You channeling Dadchi 👇🏻

Please Atsumu practically trips running from the gym

"Geez YN's a bad ass"- Inunaki says as you walk by

You do a hair flip and walk out

Please these boys are SO WHIPPED

Sakusa especially 😏

He would love a partner who can handle themselves and Atsumu

As the weeks continue into the regular season, you start to get more busy

The Adlers and MSBY are scheduled to have a practice match this afternoon and you are so excited 🤗

You are bouncing about, hair in a cute high ponytail as you go about your duties

"YN in leggings is my new favorite view"- Thomas says as the team watches you fill up water bottles in your leggings and MSBY t-shirt

Sakusa glares at Thomas who just smirks back 😏

Please these boys would never infringe on their teammate

But that doesn't mean they can't annoy them a little 🙃

Sakusa would happily admit your outfit is one of the highlights of his day

But then again, everything you do is Sakusa's favorite 😍

Please this man is such a simp for you I CANNOT 🤚🏻

But as much as this man had been crushing on you, he hasn't worked up the nerve to ask you out

Part of him doesn't want to make it awkward if you say no

You'd definitely NEVER decline YN let's be real

But also, Sakusa is a bit self-concious of his social skills

I mean, he knows you're easy to get along with

But like what if you don't find him as charming

Even thought you have numerous conversations during practice 🤔

And you always sit next to him at meetings

And stand next to him on the sidelines 🤨

😐 can it be more obvious that you like this man!?!

He's like 92% sure you like him, still he's nervous

So let's give him a little push shall we 🙃

A push in the form of a certain stoic member from the Adlers 👀

Because you see, I think Sakusa would really be bothered by Ushijima

Like he'd see him as a true rival

So when the Adlers show up for a practice match, and Sakusa sees Ushijima watching his YN

Yes HIS 😤

All bets are off!

Mans will be glaring 😑

At this point, it's clear that Sakusa has a huge crush on you

But also, you only have eyes for Sakusa 😍

Sure Ushi is good looking but Sakusa stole your heart from the first look at the laundromat

Ushijima walks up to you and introduces himself

He's just that type of a guy ok 🤚🏻

"Hello, I'm Ushijima and you must be YN? It's very nice to meet you"- 😐 Ushijima

"Hi!!! Its so awesome to meet you finally!"- you 🤪🤸‍♀️

Sakusa does not like this one bit

Once again, you have zero interest in anyone but Sakusa

Not even Meian has caught your eye

Honestly what is wrong with you YN istg- 😐

Anyways, the teams settle and you begin your work

You notice Sakusa is watching you alot

Particularly when a certain someone is near 👀

"YN might you be able to fill this up for me please?"- Ushijima handing YN his bottle and accidently skimming his hand with yours 👀

Ohhh Omi is NOT happy about that!

Please something about that act alone just pushes Sakusa over the edge 😅

Sakusa will march up behind you and just loom

"Can't you do it yourself? You're use to not having a manager"- Sakusa 😑

🌳 🐜 🌳

👆🏻you right now YN

"I merely asked YN if she could, if she's unable to that is also fine"- Ushijima, still just as stoic as ever 😐

"Kiyoomi knock it off! Ushijima I would be happy to help"- you, glaring as Sakusa and turning your head to face Ushijima

You walk off shaking your head, wandering what would prompt Sakusa to behave like that

Sakusa full on growls at Ushijima

Yes G R O W L S

Again, possessive men 😏

When you return, you walk into a heated rally happening between the teams

Nobody is letting the ball even come close to hitting the floor

Suddenly, Ushijima spikes the ball and it deflects off Inunaki's arms

"YN! Watch out!"- Barnes, yelling as you see the ball headed right for you

You scream and try to cover as fast as you can only to be tackled to the ground by Sakusa right as the ball slams past you

"Shit YN, are you ok?"- Sakusa says, bracing himself over you as he tries not to put his weight on you

You peek out from behind your arms, eyes wide as you lightly shake your head

Sakusa grabs you and pulls you close, lightly kissing the top of your head as he holds you

🥺🥺 please I'm such a sap

"YN I'm so sorry! I thought I had a handle on it"- Inunaki says running up to you

"It's ok! I should have been watching more"- you say, still in Sakusa embrace

Please that mans never letting you go again

"YN my apologies for hitting the ball so hard"- Ushijima says walking up to you

Sakusa pulls you up and in close to his chest and glares at Ushijima

"It's ok Ushi, I know you didn't mean to"- You, now holding onto Sakusa

"Come on Yn let's get your checked out"- Sakusa says, pulling you away from the group as he guides you to the office

Sakusa picks you up, sitting you on the exam table as you speak

"Omi really I'm- hmmpf" you say before your words are literally taken away by Sakusa himself planting his lips right on yours

He moves away, his forehead going to yours as you both breath

When he backs away, he looks at you and says "now let's get your checked out"

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 ok-

Seriously what just happened??

I have no idea, you have no idea, hell idk if Sakusa even knows 🤣

"Kiyoomi, what was that?"- you finally asking the big question

"Something I should have done at the laundromat a long time ago"- Sakusa, putting his hands on your face and kissing you again

Please say less sir 😫

After that, your relationship with Sakusa just kind of happened

I mean, you would hang out during practice and after practice

Kissing and other things 👀

Like playing volleyball 🙃

I know what you all were thinking 😏

Sakusa wasn't much for PDA which was honestly fine with you

Like he would hold your hand after practice sometimes or kiss your forehead inbetween sets

When Atsumu was annoying you, Sakusa would assert his dominance and lay his claim

"Atsumu leave my girlfriend alone before I spike a ball right in your face"- Sakusa, about to channel Iwaizumi for moral support

Your nights were spent most of the time with Sakusa, either at your place or his

You told him all about your previous relationship and why you had moved

Sakusa was very understanding and supportive of you

You had established a great routine 👏🏻

Honestly it was perfect

Until it wasn't 🙃

Because we are here to shatter dreams and break hearts

It happened gradually

You could tell Sakusa was getting frustrated during practice

He would withdraw from you and the team

He wasn't able to hit as many spikes, his receives were off

He was just having a rough time

You figured it was the stress of the olympic try outs approaching

He has told you that this was his one chance to make it big and to compete with the best

He was working so hard and you knew it

Unfortunately, all your efforts at trying to help him, only set him off more

"Hey Omi, why don't you take a break?"- you suggested after another failed spike

"I can't just sit on my ass all day like you YN, I have to practice if I'm going to make the Olympic team"- Sakusa, glaring at you as he turns to walk back to the line

Ouch ☹️

Hinata notices your eyes dampen as he looks from Sakusa to you

"Hey YN-" he starts to say as you stand up

"Im going to do some office work. I forgot I have some- uh some papers to fill out"- you say, forcing a smile as you turn to run to the office

The next day, you arrive at the gym to see Sakusa serving

You walk in and wave at him just as he's tossing the ball up, causing him to hit it straight into the net

"FOR FUCKS SAKES YN CANT YOU SEE IM BUSY?"- Sakusa says yelling at you

You flinch as your eyes widen

"Im- I'm sorry Omi-" you, apologizing for something you don't need to apologize for

Sakusa ignores you as he goes back to the end line, tossing up another ball

Atsumu and Bokuto watch your lip quiver as you run go the office, shutting the door behind you

They look at Sakusa who looks back at them

"What are you two looking at?"- Sakusa

"You're such a jerk Omi"- Bokuto, walking away as Atsumu shakes his head

Sakusa rolls his eyes and goes back to serving

Honestly how hard is it for you to just leave him alone 🙄

Oh idk Omi try communicating 🗣

Men istg-

A week goes by and you've seen the bare minimum of Sakusa

You've asked him over for dinner, out for dinner, over to watch TV, offered to help him practice

He's done nothing but said "not today YN" all week

It's made you feel unwanted and unloved

All you want is a little time with your man

Is that too much to ask?

Spoiler alert: it's not

Thankfully today is Friday and you are determined to have time with Kiyoomi

He promised you a few weeks ago you'd go to see a movie you've been dying to see

You bounce into work, excited and ready for the day

The Adlers are coming for a practice match

You fill water bottles, ready towels and prepare as the Adlers arrive

You run up to greet them and help everyone settle

"You are in a cheery mood today YN?"- Kageyama says

"I am!! It's Friday and I'm so excited for the weekend!"- You, bouncing with joy

Please how could anyone be mean to our precious YN!

Sakusa has yet to say anything to you as you bop around the gym, getting ready

You can't help but feel a little unwanted but you hope after the match, Sakusa's mood with change

Honestly it's a pipe dream YN 😔

The matches start and Sakusa just isn't on his game

He's hitting out of bounds, his serves are crap and his receives just aren't it

You sigh as the second set ends, while MSBY won, you notice how angry Sakusa is

You decide to see if there is anything you can do to help

Because that's who you are YN

Our sweet angel bby who is always here to help

"Hey Omi, you did great out there"- You, trying to encourage our little germaphobe

Sakusa doesn't say anything, he just glares at you

You decide to proceed

"Hey, don't look so down. We can go have dinner tonight and to the movies. It will be so fun-" you, right before your world shatters

"Will you just SHUT UP YN!"- Sakusa, screaming at you

You flinch, backing up as your eyes widen

The gym suddenly quiets

The Adlers and MSBY watching you

"Omi, I'm-"

"Yeah yeah YN I know! You're sorry! Well how about instead of being an annoying fucking baby like you constantly are why don't you try actually helping me and leave me the fuck alone!"- Sakusa, now getting in your space as you keep backing up

"Kiyoomi, please-" you say, tears filling your eyes

"You know Yn, I get it now. I understand why your ex fucking up and left you. You are so annoying and clingy that it's almost impossible to deal with! You literally can't do anything on your own without needing some kind of attention! God it's exhausting being around you!"- Sakusa, now heaving and yelling as your body goes numb

Your eyes brimming with tears, some now falling as your heart shatters in front of not only MSBY but the Adlers as well

"SAKUSA ENOUGH!"- Meian yells as Sakusa looks down as you, his anger brimming as your heartbroken state hits him

With your tears falling, your look to see the players staring at your and Sakusa

Your face heats with embarrassment as you feel your body break down

You run past Sakusa and the guys as you start crying, the sounds of your sadness filling the gym

"Fuck"- Atsumu says running after you as Bokuto and Hinata follow

"What in the hell was that!"- Hirugami says as Meian glares at Sakusa, crossing his arms over his broad chest

"Sakusa your a fucking asshole"- Inunaki says walking past Sakusa out the door to find you

Ushijima stares at Sakusa before he shakes his head

"You don't deserve YN Sakusa"- Ushijima says, the words hitting Sakusa right in the chest

Sakusa's emotions are all over as he walks past the teams, heading to grab his things

Meanwhile, you run from the gym to the parking lot to find your car

You sit down, your eyes flowing with tears as you start to shake and cry frantically

How could Kiyoomi say such horrible things to you?

How could he stoop so low as to point out your biggest insecurities?

He knew exactly how much your relationship with your ex affected you and there he was, throwing it in your face

You put your head on the steering wheel, crying uncontrollably as you turn the car on

Just as you look up, you see Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata running towards you with Ushijima and Inunaki behind

"YN come on you can't drive"- Atsumu, trying to open your car door

"Just leave me alone Atsumu"- you, crying harder as Hinata and Bokuto watch

"YN please let one of us take you home at the very least"- Inunaki says, managing to open your side door

"Please just leave me alone. I'm so embarrassed. Those things he said-" your tears are now flowing uncontrollably, your body shaking

"YN please don't be embarrashed. None of this was your fault"- Bokuto, his hair deflated

Our sweet little empath 🥺

"He knew about my biggest insecurities and he just threw them right in my face! Right in front of everyone"- you say, crying harder as you gasp for air

"YN come on- its not safe for you to drive right now"- Inunaki says as he reaches for you

You look up at him, tears streaming down your face

"Please, please just leave me alone"- you say whispering

Their hearts break for you as they watch helplessly as you cry in your car

"Maybe we should just back off?"- Hinata

"Yeah I don't think she's going anywhere"- Ushijima says, standing back

"If you need us YN, we'll be inside ok? But please don't drive right now"- Atsumu

You nod a little, the numbness of everything hitting you hard as the men give you one final glance before returning inside

Meanwhile, Sakusa is in the locker room gathering his gear and shoving it in his bag

He grabbed a quick shower and is ready to leave

One thing about Sakusa is that he definitely knows he overreacted

He also knows what he said to you was not ok

But he's not going to apologize until he's fully ready

Because he knows he needs to mean it and think it over

Dick move? Absolutely but at the same time, a half assed apology doesn't mean shit

And he's still mad

He can hear the guys talking in the gym as he throws his bag over his shoulder

"Is she ok?"- Meian says

"She's sitting in her car, she won't let us take her home but we also don't want her to drive"- Atsumu

"Poor girl, what the hell got into Sakusa?"- Romero

"Who the hell knows but man was he ever a fucking dick!"- Hoshiumi says

Sakusa's heard enough as he walks out into the gym and past his team mates who pay him no mind

He walks into the parking lot, straight to his car

The problem is his car is parked right next to yours...

However when he approaches he only sees your car and not you

Deciding he can't be bothered right now, he leaves, heading home

Meanwhile, Atsumu receives a text from you saying you took the train home

You knew it wasn't safe to drive but you couldn't stay there any longer

You knew if you saw Omi come out, you'd cry even more

Once at home, you lock your doors, shut your blinds and crawl into bed

You spend most of the sleepless night crying and replaying the awful words Sakusa said to you in your mind

The next morning, you get up and make coffee, mopping around your apartment

Your phone has been going non-stop with incoming texts from the team making sure your ok

You opt to write a short message and shut your phone off

After a long weekend of crying and thinking, you decide the best thing you can do is hold you head high and walk into the gym with dignity

Because we will NOT let a man define our worth!

You get dressed, do your best to look presentable and head to work

You pull into the parking lot, parking as far away from Sakusa's car as you can

You notice him sitting inside, watching as you get out and make your way to the gym

Little do you know that Sakusa has spent all weekend thinking about the huge mistake he made

He barely slept, choosing to spend most of his time at the gym or running to try to distract himself

He realizes what he's done and how big of an ass he was

But still, apologizing doesn't come easy to Kiyoomi

Once in the gym, you go about your daily tasks

You try to act like nothings wrong but you admit it's hard seeing Sakusa

You try and ignore his presence

He only looks at you, but has yet to approach

And he probably won't 😔

"Hey YN, can you help toss up for spiking please?"- Meian

"Sure"- you say smiling as you take your position to toss

The guys line up beside you as you toss

When Sakusa comes up to spike, he watches you intently

You however, ignore him 💅🏼

As 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 should 👏🏻

Because you see, the anger is now starting to set in

How fucking rude and unwarranted Sakusa's comments towards you were

You toss the ball up as Atsumu sets and Omi spikes

"Nice kill"- you say as you prepare for the next spiker

Sakusa looks at you as you go about your duties

That night, you pick up your bag and head out of the gym

You say goodnight to the team as you make your way to your car

You can see Sakusa watching you from his car but you say nothing and quickly get in, driving off

Honestly ignoring Sakusa is probably going to irritate him the most

Again, AS 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 SHOULD 👏🏻

The week goes by and you have zero interaction with Sakusa

You still miss him and care very much for him

But that doesn't mean his words didn't hurt

Sakusa on the other hand, is going insane 🙃

He was actually waiting to see if you gave him anything to work with

And YN gave nothing 👏🏻

You gave him no chance to speak with him alone, you barely even glanced at him all week

Honestly, he doesn't blame you

He's starting to realize how badly he fucked up and the man is suffering now

Good! Let him suffer!

The following Monday, Sakusa decides he's had enough

He misses you and the man is willing to admit he's done FUCKED UP 👏🏻

Unfortunately for him, it's too late

He steps out of his car only to see you hugging Ushijima at the entrance to the front of the gym

Oh the rage he is feeling right now 🤬

He's about ready to blow

But then you laugh at something Ushijima says

And your smile just digs the knife penetrating his cold heart deeper

You're vibrant smile and beautiful eyes that Sakusa has grown to love so much

Only you're now giving it to another man

Please we are about to see some jealous Sakusa

Sakusa is going to get out of his car, rage walk up to Ushijima and shove him away from you

"Get away from my girl"- Sakusa says, pushing Ushijima

Ushijima barely budges

Mans is a brick wall 🧱

"Kiyoomi what the hell?"- you getting in between Ushijima and Sakusa

"Back the fuck off of YN- she's mine!"- Sakusa growls as he pushes into you getting into Ushijima's face

"Kiyoomi stop it!"- you now shouting

Atsumu, Kageyama and Bokuto come rushing cover and pull Sakusa back

Please Ushijima is just like 🧍‍♂️😐 the whole time

I can NOT 😫

"Sakusa what the hell man?"- Bokuto

"Omi dude chill out"- Atsumu

"I was merely talking to YN Sakusa"- Ushijima

"Talking my ass! I saw you hugging her!"- Sakusa

"It wasn't anything more than a hug Kiyoomi! And I'll have you know as far as I'm concerned, we are no longer together so what I do and with whom I do it is my business and my business only!"- our queen asserting her dominance

"The hell we aren't! We never broke up YN! Just because I'm an idiot and said some stupid shit-" Sakusa

But oh no no no, YN is not letting this happen

"NO! You don't get to come over here and barge in on my personal life when you made it VERY FUCKING CLEAR Kiyoomi that I'm a burden on your life! I will absolutely not stand here and take that shit from you or any man! I trusted you and YOU KNEW! You knew what I went through. And you threw it right in my fucking face in front of everyone!"- You now screaming

GIVE IT TO HIM BBY! RIP HIS HEAD OFF!!

Bokuto, Atsumu and Kageyama are scared 😅

Ushijima is just like 🧍‍♂️ 😳

And Sakusa, well Sakusa is breaking apart

Because everything you said, every single word is true

And he knows it

You're eyes start to fill with tears as you stomp your way into the gym, slamming the doors behind you

Seriously nobody better get in the way of YN

Our bby is on the war path

Sakusa doesn't say anything, he just stands there stunned and broken

The full effect of his words are now hitting him

The fact that there is no fixing this and that you are done

How could he have taken you for granted?

How could he have treated you this way?

Sakusa says nothing as he makes his way into the gym and prepares for practice

The next few days, Sakusa is on auto mode

Spike, sleep, eat, repeat

Literally he doesn't deviate, he says nothing to anyone and has completely withdrawn from the team

You have also pulled away from the team

It's become increasingly uncomfortable for everyone

Finally, Meian decides he needs to intervene

After practice, Sakusa is sitting in the locker room, packing up his bag

"Team meeting"- Meian says as Barnes, Thomas, Inunaki, Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata surround him

"About what?"- Sakusa, oblivious

"It's time you swallow you pride and get your girl back"- Barnes

"Yeah, honestly I'm sick of sappy Sakusa"- Atsumu

Sakusa glares at Atsumu but says nothing

"Come on dude. You and YN are fucking miserable without each other"- Inunaki

"You heard her! She's done with me. And honestly I don't fucking blame her. I'm the biggest asshole ever"- Sakusa, deflated more than Bokuto during a bad emo mode

"Well then you need to do whatever you can to win her back! Beg on your knees if you have too"- Thomas says

Sakusa is so deflated

Pls Bokuto's emo modes have nothing on this man's current state 🤚🏻

"But what if she doesn't want me back? I mean I really fucked up guys. Like REALLY"- Sakusa

"Then you learn from it. Listen, you love YN right?"- Barnes

"Yeah- yeah I do"- Sakusa, finally admitting he's deeply in love with you

"And YN is in love with you, trust me. You've got alot of work to do but you need to prove to YN that you are willing to change"- Barnes

Sakusa nods and stands up

He knows he has to make this right in any way he can

Now I don't think simply apologizing in this situation is enough

Sakusa was a complete ass and said some really hurtful things

I also think he knows this and he's willing to do what he can to change

Even if it means attending therapy to help him deal better with his emotions

Honestly we love when people take accountability for their actions 👏🏻

If you make a mistake, you fix it! And that's what Sakusa wants to do

He makes an appointment with a therapist for the following week and goes to work on his plan to win you back

Meanwhile, your heart is slowly healing

You love Sakusa and that's just not going to go away anytime soon

He's been helping you process and deal with your fight with Sakusa

You've found a great friend and companion in Ushijima

Your relationship is strictly platonic and honestly, Ushijima is fine with that 👌🏻

Ushijima is one of those logical guys

He can see things from both sides and provide a very honest and unbiased opinion

At your apartment, you cook as Ushijima sits and talks with you

It's become a weekly thing that you and Ushijima hang out, making dinner and chatting

Tonight, you are making homemade Ramen

Ushijima is sitting at the table as you bring the bowls over

Unfortunately for you, you trip, sending the bowls tumbling on you and Ushijima

"Oh shit! Omg Im so sorry Wakatoshi! Are you burnt?"- You, tearing up because you messed up

"YN I'm fine, are you ok?- Ushijima

"🥺 I keep messing up Waka, no wonder Omi said the things he did"- you, now crying as you sit down at the table

"YN, Sakusa was a complete jerk. And while I know he is stressed, it doesn't ever give him the right to say those things. You did not mess up YN. It was an accident"- Ushijima

You sniffle and nod your head

"I have to clean this up. I think Omi left a shirt here that you can borrow for now. I'm going to go and change"- you, getting up and going to your room

Ushijima remives his shirt, revealing his muscles and broad chest

You pay no mind because Ushijima isn't Sakusa

It's fine YN, move aside and I shall oogle on your behalf 😍🥵

When you are changing, the doorbell rings

Ushijima answers it as you emerge from your room, wearing a crop top and shorts

On the other side is Sakusa 👀

Now remember, Ushijima has no shirt on, as in ZERO top clothing

Nothing, nada, it's completely GONE

And you are wearing the bare minimum

Sakusa's eyes widen in shock as Ushijima stands at the door and you appear next to him

"Kiyoomi? What are you doing here?"- You say, shocked

"I uh- I uh- I came to talk with you"- Sakusa 👁👄👁

Please it hasn't hit you yet the situation you are currently in

"Is everything ok?"- you, still oblivious

Sakusa is just staring, mouth agape 😲

Ushijima is just like 🧍‍♂️ 😐

"YN I uh- I wanted to apologize but I see you've already moved on"- Sakusa, his eyes now filling with tears

"What are you-"

DING DING DING it finally hits you 😃

"Omg Kiyoomi no-"

"YN PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! IM SO FUCKING SORRY"- Sakusa is now inside the apartment, begging on his knees, holding your legs

"Kiyoomi what-"

"YN PLEASE GOD IM SO SO SORRY! I FUCKED UP SO BAD. I SAID THE MOST AWFUL THINGS TO YOU AND I KNOW I DONT DESERVE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU YN. PLEASE IM GOING TO CHANGE. I STARTED THERAPY AND IM REALLY TRYING YN PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE"- Sakusa, full on crying into your legs now

Ushijima 👉🏻 🧍‍♂️ 😳

You bend down, tears pooling in your eyes as you kneel in front of Sakusa who now has tears all over

"Kiyoomi you love me?"- You, tearing up

Please I'm such a sap 🥲

"I do YN. I love you so much. And everyday I think about how much I hurt you. I want to make myself a better man for you. So I called a therapist and I've been seeing someone to help me control my emotions. You didn't deserve any of that yn and I know that. Please- just please know how much I love you and how much on a idiot I am!"- Sakusa, looking into your eyes

"Kiyoomi you are the biggest fucking jerk I know and I love you, you big fucking idiot"- you, grabbing Sakusa's cheeks and kissing him as he holds you close

Ushijima 👉🏻 🧍‍♂️ 🥲

Sakusa pulls away and puts his forehead on yours

Then it hits him and he stands up, pulling you towards him in an embrace

"What the hell are you doing with YN?"- Sakusa says, pointing at Ushijima

"I was having Ramen with YN when she spilled it on herself and me"- Ushijima 😐

"I was getting a new shirt for Toshi when you knocked Omi! It's nothing. Toshi and I are only friends"- You

Sakusa 👉🏻😐😑

Ushijima 👉🏻 🧍‍♂️ 😐

"I think it might be best if I leave YN. It seems you and Sakusa have worked out your issues"- Ushijima

"You definitely should leave"- Sakusa 😑 our jealous bby

"Omi knock it off! Toshi let me grab you a shirt at least"- You

"It's fine YN, I have an extra shirt in my car. Thank you for Ramen"- Ushijima, turning to leave

Please he just walked out without his shirt on 😫😫😫 I love him so much

"Well that was awkward"- you 😅

Sakusa closes the door and locks it as he turns to you and grabs your hips

"Whats more awkward is that you and I are both standing here, fully dressed"- Sakusa 😏

Say less sir 🤚🏻 we have a whole lot of making up to do 🙃

545 notes · View notes

pallasperilous · 4 years

Text

Occursus

Castiel/Dean Winchester Gen/Teen, 4341 words 15x20 coda AO3 version “The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” Cas says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.”

Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two. “Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes. “It was a poor analogy. I apologize.” “So what’s a better one?” Castiel drums his fingers for a second. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.” “Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

It’s half past midnight by the time Dean gets another run at Cas.

Granted, what the fuck does half past midnight even mean here, where time is as free as tap water? Why does anybody even bother? For all it matters, Dean could set his watch to eleventy minutes past twenty o’ nope and still never miss last call.

Then again, somebody felt it necessary to invent the idea of Tuesday in the first place, and Dean’s not gonna volunteer himself for the task of replacing it with something better. What’s important is that he’s survived (or rather, he hasn’t survived) a battery of poignant moments and tearful reunions. He and Sam hugged out burdens registering in the triple digits. They even had a little fight, pretty much for the fun of it, while Ellen fucking Harvelle watched them over the bar with her eyes shining. She still charged them, though.

Right at the beginning of the party Dean and Castiel had their eyes-across-the-room thing, followed by the same magnetic, exhausted embrace they’ve shared on just about every plane of reality now. Dean supposes he could ask Cas for a nickel tour of the Empty just so they could hit for the cycle, but he’d really rather not. Sam let them eke out a few gruff, tear-choked monosyllables before diving in, sweeping Cas up in a bear hug and laughing like a fucking kid. Dean doesn’t push it, because it’s been longer for Sam, after all. Or something.

And now it’s quiet, just the jukebox and the clink of glasses back in the kitchen, a few folks murmuring in booths. It might be dark outside, it might not; it’s waiting on Dean’s opinion before it commits to anything. And so is Cas, who is standing in the warm glow of the jukebox, hands in his pockets.

Dean walks up, leans against it, bottle still dangling from one hand.

“C’mon, sunshine. I’ll show you yours, you show me mine.”

Cas looks up and into Dean’s eyes with the wary, elegant patience of a deer. “What is it that you would be showing me, Dean?”

Dean gives him a long, languid blink and bites his lip, and Castiel lags for half a second before rolling his own eyes. “I see death hasn’t refined your sense of humor.”

“Nope. Guess the billionth time aint the charm.”

Cas remains stonefaced, which means a corresponding you dumbass blush starts crawling up the sides of Dean’s neck. The jukebox switches records like it’s making a suggestion.

“I’m gonna sit down outside,” Dean says. “C’mon and sit down with me. There’s a patio somewhere, right? Ellen was always talking about adding one out back. No way she hasn’t bossed somebody into buildin’ it.”

“There’s a patio,” Cas says, taking his hands out of his pockets.

Heaven’s patio is pretty nice; twenty square feet, some scattered picnic tables, fences covered in ivy and string lights. It still smells like fresh pine boards. There’s even a fire pit, which seems kinda bougie for the Roadhouse, but hell with it, it’s warm and pretty, and since when did pretentious people get to lay claim to “a hole with a fire in it”? There’s no moon overhead, and so the Milky Way is giving them the full monty — the runnelled spine of it, the ribcage packed with galaxies.

“Are they all alive?” Dean asks. The warmth from inside leaks out of his collar, wisps away.

“Who?”

Dean points up. “The stars. They always make a big deal about how most of the stars you can see from Earth have been dead for millions of years by the time we get the light from ‘em. That still true here? Or is everything on auto-renewal?”

“That’s a very complicated question,” Cas says, not looking up, only at Dean. He does that a lot, Dean knows, but it turns out to mean something different than what Dean had always assumed, which was ironically pretty similar to what it actually meant, but was reassuringly unactionable and therefore unfuckupable.

“I’m a very complicated guy,” Dean says.

Castiel smiles at that. “I don’t actually know the answer,” he admits. “And it would take an extremely long time to investigate. There are some other things I’d rather do first.”

“What, you can’t just call the kid for directory assistance?”

Castiel lets a good-humored sigh. “Like many young people these days, Jack prefers to avoid the phone.”

This is a solid riff, and Dean respects it. He picks the table closest to the fire and takes a bench and Cas sits next to him, instead of opposite. Dean thought he managed to break him of this habit a few years ago, but here all things are made whole again.

“So what,” Cas says, without a single molecule of playfulness or seduction, “is it that you want us to show each other?”

“Yeah, I was…it was a dumb joke. But I mean it, just not in a ‘playing doctor’ way.”

Castiel frowns, tightens his lips; the firelight throws a fluttering shadow across his face.

“I mean…Christ.” Dean takes a medicinal slug of his dwindling beer. “I don’t really look like this anymore either, right?” And he gestures at his usual shitshow personal presentation, which death has also noticeably failed to refine.

Castiel frowns, smoothes his hand across the surface of the table. “This is a corporeal world, Dean. It operates on a different set of rules, but your body here is no more of an illusion than it was on earth.”

“Seriously?” Dean ponders a second, squints through the dim light at his fingernails, at the high-resolution grime contained therein. “Jesus, that sounds like a lot of work. At least compared to Holodeck Heaven.”

“It is. But we didn’t build this place to be a...a…doorprize. It’s a real world,” Castiel enthuses, looming forward. “It’s the one that should have been created for all of you in the first place.” He pauses, glances down. “For all of us.”

Dean shrugs. “Okay, so no holograms. I’ll keep all that in mind next time Charlie tries to convince me to go skydiving.”

Castiel snorts, but not in pure aggravation, so Dean feels like he’s finally got a point on the board. “What I’m sayin’ is…physical or not, this place has different rules, right? So could I look at you without my eyeballs exploding? The…you know, the angel parts of you. Not just your vessel,” and Dean fwippies his hand at Cas to indicate that true beauty is contained within and Dean is completely indifferent to the fact this dork-ass alien managed to bodysnatch a guy who’s never dipped below an 8.5.

“It isn’t a vessel anymore. We can create our own bodies, now.”

“Peachy,” Dean clips, because that shit is a little late coming off the line.

Castiel sighs. “You could see me in that form without coming to harm. But you should know that I don’t consider it any more a reflection who I am than this form. Not anymore.”

Dean rolls the bottle towards him, nudges a knuckle. “You’re a real boy now, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Castiel says, and smiles a smile so small that Dean would need a microscope to figure out if it’s pleased or pained.

So Dean thwacks the bottle down on the totally-real table and claps his totally-real hands. “Well then let’s go. Hit me with that angel weirdness. If we’re gonna do this, I gotta taste all thirty-one flavors.”

Castiel smiles a little more convincingly, but it still doesn’t reach his eyes. “There are really only the two,” he says, and holds his palms out to the warmth of the fire.

“Great, then we’ll be done in time to catch Letterman. Then if you’re good maybe you can help me shimmy out of this thing.”

Cas cocks his head. “Out of which thing?”

“This super real heavenly meat-suit, dude. It’s not fair if only one of us gets naked. Peep show has to go both ways. I see your angel-face, you see my soul.”

Cas looks stricken, like Dean is asking to suck on his toes next to a playground. “I mean, unless that’d fuck you up,” Dean adds.

“No,” Castiel replies, a little absently. “It wouldn’t fuck me up. But it…wouldn’t really accomplish anything, either.”

“What, no soul kink? That’s bullshit and you know it. You love this crap.”

Castiel replies, “Your soul is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” with the easy confidence of a regular latte order. With the same uncanny, 2 Blessed 2 B Stressed face he had when Dean plowed Ruby’s knife hilt-deep into Jimmy Novak’s sternum, that he had when the Empty collapsed him like a carcass in an acid bath.

That face shuts Dean right the fuck up, because it sends him skipping backwards into that fucking basement, where his phone is buzzing and the gritty concrete chill of the floor is seeping through his jeans into the useless meat of his legs and leeching into the hot, wet channels of his piece of shit heart.

Turns out you can work up a good little panic attack in heaven, which seems like a significant oversight.

From a million miles away he feels Cas’s warm, dry palm slide over the back of his hand –– there’s a ring there now that Dean lost down a motel sink drain ages ago, is nobody spotting continuity errors here?—then Cas’s hand tightens on his and it feels like a Xanax kicking in. (The good kind, direct from the hot nurse with the little paper cup, not the kind you get in a from a shady burnout at a truckstop, that’s been ground up with baking soda or benadryl and carefully remolded, as if you could possibly give that much of a shit when you’re freaking out bad enough to buy Xanax at a truckstop.)

Point being, he calms the fuck down.

Cas has good hands. They can do a lot of impressive shit, and they look nice doing it. They don’t look like –– they’ve never looked like –– they belong to somebody whose main job is destroying people, places, or things. They’re hands that how to play the cello, or make tables from reclaimed wood, or give soapy, encompassing handjobs in the shower on cold evenings.

“It’s been years, though,” Dean rasps, not looking up yet. “I was a kid when you got me out of Hell, Cas. I’ve done a lot of shit since then. Maybe souls get stretch marks.”

Castiel’s hand tightens on his, clamps it down on the table. “I’ve always been able to see it.”

“Okay,” Dean mumbles, but Cas keeps on going –

“The only time I couldn’t see any part of your soul was when I was without grace, and I promise you that was one of the greatest deprivations imaginable.”

Dean snorts, looks away, but his hand is still on lockdown. “Worse than going hungry, huh?”

“Much.”

“Hey, what about Sam? Or, hell, fucking Donatello. They both were both walking around minus their creamy filling, and you didn’t say boo.”

Cas shrugs. “I can’t see their souls under ordinary circumstances.”

“So what, mine’s just extra loud, or day-glo, or what?”

“It’s both of those things, but that isn’t why,” Cas answers, and the boy is downright wry.

Dean tugs his hand out, raps his knuckles against the wood. “Okay, so stop bein’ coy and tell me before I get a complex. And if you say it’s because of love or some shit, I’m bailing to Rowena’s.”

“You infected me,” Cas says.

“Uh,” says Dean.

The fire pops and a log shifts; Cas glances over at the kerfuffle, absently lifts his fingers to his chin like he’s looking for an old scar. “In Hell, when I retrieved you…I had to grip your raw soul. I was meant to wear a gauntlet, so I wouldn’t be burned.”

Dean snickers. “You’re telling me you were supposed to be wearing a soul condom. What happened, you get too excited and forget to suit up? It’s okay, I know I’m a lot to take in.”

Castiel purses his lips. “No, I was properly armored. But my arm was torn off in combat shortly before I reached you.”

“Ouch.”

“Ouch,” Cas agrees. “I didn’t have time to retrieve the arm or its protection from the pit, so I had to grow a new one very quickly.”

Dean really should’ve switched to whiskey before starting this. “What, you didn’t pack a spare?” He wheezes.

“Ordinarily, yes, I would have had the resources, but I was equipped very lightly for that mission. It was a raid, not a siege. You understand the difference.”

“Sure, yeah, you left your emergency arms in the trunk. So you just popped out a new one. No big.”

“It was a big. Your soul was close enough that it forced me to grow a human arm, instead of a much quicker and more powerful extensor.”

“Okay, uh,” Dean pinches at the bridge of his nose, “there’s a lot to unpack there.”

“What part of it confuses you?”

“I dunno, the bit where apparently angels are I guess heavenly octopuses,”

“The plural in the Greek is octopodes,” Cas interjects, not without pleasure.

Dean glowers. “Or the part where you can apparently swap in different drill bits,” Dean continues,

“Mm,” Cas notes, careful not to open his mouth,

“Or that I, like, accidentally bullied you into growing a person arm,” and Dean pauses for breath here, which Cas evidently takes as permission to dive in with more Planet Earth commentary.

“The natural environment of the human soul is a human body,” he says. “Humans have yet to meet a foreign substrate that they don’t immediately attempt to colonize. My form in Hell was not an exception.” Then he shuts his mouth very deliberately and gestures back to Dean like his mic is going live in three, two.

“Or the bit where my soul gave you some kind of STD?” Dean finishes.

“It was a poor analogy. I apologize.”

“So what’s a better one?”

Castiel drums his fingers for a second, listens to the fire pop in its little cage. “It’s more like…the way a parasitic jewel wasp injects a cockroach with venom, and transforms it into a willing host for wasp larvae.”

“Holy shit are you ever bad at this,” Dean says, with that signature brand of fond horror he special-orders just for Castiel, Angel of the Gourd.

“What I’m trying to avoid saying,” Castiel sighs, “is that you rubbed off on me.”

Dean nods. “Yeah. That’s fair. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to say that around me, either.” He lays a couple little pats on Cas’s hand. “Lookit you, though, seeing around that corner. I’m proud of you, man. That would’ve totally flipped your breaker back in the day.”

“Just one of the many ways you have reshaped me, Dean,” Cas says, with warm sarcasm.

“Alright, so you rawdogged me, I whammied you. Chocolate, peanut butter, peanut butter, chocolate.”

Cas’s forehead wrinkles in skepticism. “I still prefer the cockroach. But some part of your soul injected itself into one of my more exposed frequencies. Under different circumstances, I would’ve stopped and excised the affected area before it spread, but. I was being pursued, and the mission had taken much longer than any of us anticipated.”

“Us? Thought it was just you down there.”

Cas looks vaguely offended, straightens and folds his arms like he just remembered he’s giving a deposition. “No, of course not. Michael assigned sixty-six angels in eleven groups of six, each escorted to the field by a seraph. We struck simultaneously at six different areas in perdition. From there we dispersed to individual targets –– to cause as much chaos as possible in order to help obscure the object of our mission, and to increase the odds that one of us would actually find you.”

“And you were the lucky winner.” Dean pushes down a touch of sick shame at the thought of it — he’d been coiled up like a snake around somebody else’s torment, anesthetized by it. It was one of the random rags of infernal time where his own pain decreased in proportion to how much he dealt out, and that was the closest thing Hell had to a Friday night.

“I was,” Castiel nods. “I took some liberties with my assignment,” he adds, squinting. “I flattered myself that I shared a special affinity with The Righteous Man.”

“That guy always sounded like kind of a cunt to me,” Dean notes. “You know, not withstanding the fact that I’m him.”

Castiel shrugs. “I found you, and I did what was necessary to save you, and my siblings did what was necessary to save me.” A little falter enters his voice. “Only twelve of us returned from that mission.” Cas looks up, out, away. A dove coos somewhere nearby of the Roadhouse; did it have a run-in with the windshield of an eighteen wheeler one day and show up here, Dean wonders, or does heaven make its own birds from scratch? That’s gotta be a softball compared to whether Betelgeuse is still open for business.

Castiel waits until the bird shuts up, then says, “Of those twelve surviving angels, I personally murdered nine, in everything that followed.”

After a moment Dean says “Yeah,” with practiced neutrality. He’s got some similar tallies, written in Sharpie on the back of his eyelids.

Cas sighs and his attention comes back down to the table. “By the time I received the authority to restore your soul to your body, the infection had spread almost past the point of containment. That’s why I resisted taking a vessel at first. I worried that occupying a human form would speed up the process.”

“Hey now. I thought you showed up naked because you thought I’d be one of those special people,” Dean quips, “Who can handle angel stuff without going all kibbles ’n bits.”

“That was only a partial truth.”

Dean tips the beer bottle in salute. “You’re a real special flavor of asshole, Cas.”

“So I’ve been told. I was right, though. When I took Jimmy as a vessel, I contracted — condensed — myself very severely. The infection had a much shorter distance to travel to reach all of my extremities, and a human form was the most hospitable environment possible.”

“You got a raging case of the Deans.”

Cas’s head kicks back in a laugh that kinda surprises them both. “Yes,” he says, grinning. “I did. I was very displeased, and very concerned I’d be found out and judged unfit for duty. And I very much was. Unfit, that is. Though I was not found out.”

“C’mon, never? You went rogue on the company.”

“Uriel suspected. Naomi certainly detected it later, as did Metatron. But in the moment, no. The Host’s attention was focused on the Apocalypse ahead, not on debriefing a mission that was considered a success. After the Cage was closed, I had too much influence to come under that level of scrutiny.”

“Hmh.” Dean realizes he’s been systematically picking down the label on the beer bottle, so he sets it on the ground before he gets sticky little shreds everywhere. “So I gotta ask. My little souvenir, the handprint. That’s where you grabbed me, with your lil…Mister Potato Head human arm?”

“It is.”

“If I’m the one who infected you, how come I’m the one who got burned?”

“My hand didn’t burn you.”

“Well, it ain’t fingerpaint.”

“Your own soul burned it, as it flowed out of your flesh and into mine. It burned until the moment when I finally released you from my grip. My hand healed itself; your arm did not.” Castiel gives a thin scoff. “I hadn’t planned to leave you interred.”

“Oh, no? Well that’s nice to hear, you know, a decade after the fact. I still have nightmares about that shit.”

Castiel winces. “It’s no excuse, but I was in a great deal of…the equivalent of pain. It took an immense effort to break off the inflow of your soul, and when I did manage it, I was thrown quite a ways by the recoil. By the time I recovered enough to return, you were already looting a gas station,” He finishes, dryly.

“Yeah, well, Dad didn’t think much of leisure as a virtue. Also I was thirsty, because I’d just crawled out of my own grave.”

“And I was distracted, because I’d just fought my way out of the inferno while being digested by a demented human soul.”

“You wanna call it even?”

Cas lifts his brows. “If you don’t mind.”

There is a long, dark breath, during which their little smiles fade.

“So, all that,” Dean says, because he’s a fucking coward.

“All that,” says Cas, because he isn’t.

Dean clears his throat. “That means you can see my soul-stuff 24/7, huh?”

Castiel slides one leg up onto the bench, shifts to sit astride it, like he’s maybe about to deliver an after-school PSA on the Real Deal About Drugs. “I can always see myself, and extensions of my self. And since your soul made itself into an integral part of me…I can see you.”

“I take it that’s not exactly in the manual.”

“No. I didn’t entirely understand it at first — for a long time, I convinced myself it was because you were designed to be a celestial vessel, and that I had been destined to save you from Hell.”

That thin, acidic feelings starts to rise up in Dean’s chest again. “Do you…” A dry swallow reflex grabs his throat. “Hm. Fuck.”

“What?” Cas asks, scooting forward. An angel. Scooting. What a world. “You can ask me anything, Dean. I hope we’re both past being offended.”

“Have you ever thought that. This whole deal. Our…thing.” Dean lets out a breath. “The way you feel about me. The way I feel about you.”

“Do I worry that its only basis is our shared material?”

Dean licks his lips, works a jaw muscle, forces out a nod.

Cas frowns, sets one elbow up against the table, then lets his head tip to the side. “Why do you love Sam?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I get it, he’s my brother. We got shared material, too. But we’re not talking genetics.”

“Genes were the initial basis of your love for Sam. But you share half as much material with Adam. Do you love him fifty percent as much as you do Sam?”

“One, love doesn’t work that way and you know it, and two, fucking of course not. I barely know the guy, and what I’ve seen didn’t exactly blow me away.” Not that the poor dumb kid ever really had a chance. “Sam’s Sam, he’s earned it a million times over just by bein’ him.”

“Then you understand.”

“But Cas, man…I…” Dean laughs, which is an abbreviated form of screaming, “I treated you like shit.”

Cas nods. “You did.”

“Okay, the rules say you’re not supposed to agree with me.”

“But the balance remains in your favor. Dean, are you genuinely afraid that you — care for me…” and Dean can hear the FCC live-bleep in that one, like does his total cowardice have a special color Cas can see with his soul-o-vision? “Only out of some compulsion?”

“No,” Dean says, to the great surprise of his frontal cortex, which was busy kicking the shit out of itself. “No,” he says again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, that that answer actually came out of him and entered the living air between them.

Then the wave is rolling towards him and he enters that slim moment of body-physics where you either take a lungful and commit to diving under the break, or you kick out against the undertow, arch your back to meet the blow, and let yourself be flown all the way up to the waiting shore––

“No,” Dean says, “I love you.” And he chokes up a little, first at the release of saying it, then at how much of exactly jack-shit it changes anything so what was he even scared of, and then at the look on Cas’s face: how he’s frozen. Like that dog from that video, the one that loved tennis balls so goddamn much that his owner bought him a thousand fucking tennis balls and dumps them out all at once and the dog absolutely stalls the fuck out, just seconds on end of underspecced dog-brain hang time before he finally snaps back to reality and loses his absolute shit scrabbling all over the porch.

Castiel comes back online with a little choking noise of his own, and a kind of awkward scrabble for Dean’s hand.

“I have for a long time,” Dean continues, because apparently he’s continuing, “I’ve loved you for fucking ages, Cas. In people years, anyway, I’m sure that mean’s fuckall to somebody who’s a zillion––”

“I don’t,” Cas says thickly, “really give a damn about the age difference, Dean,” and cracks into a chuckle.

“So how come you never knew it?” Dean asks, feeling freedom turn into a hunger or something like vertigo. “If you can see my soul, how could you not know?”

Cas shrugs, a bit helplessly.

“Seriously,” Dean laughs, “how did I manage to hide that shit so well? Sammy found every nudie mag I ever shoplifted.”

Cas shakes his head. “You’ve never actually been able to hide anything from me.”

Dean scoffs. “C’mon, man. I snowed you plenty, or else we woulda had this conversation dirtside a long time ago.”

“Whatever I missed, Dean…it wasn’t because you succeeded at hiding it,” Castiel says, softly. He takes a slow, shaky breath, and meets Dean’s eyes with a smile. He lifts a hand to Dean’s face, bone and flesh on flesh and bone. “I just loved you enough to look away.”

It’s a long time before they go back inside. By any measure. {AO3}

#spn fanfiction #spn 15x20 #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #bless you all for your sexy and angsty coda fics please enjoy this massive wodge of angel lore wankery dating back 11 seasons

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ghostmartyr · 5 years

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Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 8]

No grinding, no life. The Bill Gaiden Island thingamajig that starts after you beat Blaine has begun, and in the spirit of really wanting our team not to die, we’re running around doing things we don’t care about.

That’s the summary of this whole run.

Kindle Road is a much cooler name. Why didn’t you just name the whole island that, instead of shoving it onto the beach area?

Also, I guess this means a new route!

...With... a Tentacool!

New route, old problems.

Thanks to Blaine, Zaft is now the lowest level of the party at 41. Accordingly, Zaft gets to be up front for this adventure. Good luck, Zaft. We believe in you and so on.

Our belief is immediately rewarded with a level 35 Psyduck. Then another. At 36. Then a level 37 Golduck. Not bad. Zaft thanks you for your sacrifice.

Back on ground, Picnicker Claire wants to throw down. Starting with a level 35 Meowth. Then another level 35 Meowth. Pikachu. Clefairy. Bringing home the win is Zaft once more.

There are a bunch of rocks around here. Does anyone know Rock Smash.

...Okay, fake question.

Can a Pidgey learn Rock Smash?

tfw the real question is whether or not I have Rock Smash. I seem not to. Fine.

Camper Bryce!

He has a level 36 Nidorino that looks like a job for... uh. Not Zaft. Po, play nice. Sprinkle gets the Sandslash. Since we’re switching things up, the Raticate can go to Allenby.

I still keep wondering if someone sits down and renames every single NPC based on localization. Keeps me up at night. Anyway, puny level 35 Shellder, you are no match for Zaft. The Cloyster is slightly more intimidating, but that means nothing. Same to the level 38 Wartortle.

A wild double battle appears, so Heero and Allenby go up front. Against Crush Kin Mik & Kia’s level 39 Machoke and Primeape. Yeah, that’s a bit more intimidating. But nowhere near enough.

More Fighting trainers ahead, so Heero stays up front. Have fun, little one.

Black Belt Shea has a level 38 Machop. You mock me, sir. The Machoke is better.

Of the many things you could call Red’s outfit of choice, I’m not sure ‘frivolous’ fits. Black Belt Hugh. Another Machop, but this one’s level 37. Heero takes the food as a sign to learn Slash. Bye, Metal Claw. You were not very helpful. Machoke’s up next. Heero treats it similarly.

Back in the grass, I encounter a Fearow. But Spearow’s line has a check next to it for this run, so we’re still waiting for the proper first encounter for Kindle Road.

IT’S A PONYTA. CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT.

CAUGHT IT.

RISE, FUUNSAIKI.

This is the only part of the run that matters.

Back to the fighting, where Crush Girl Tanya wants a fight. She has a level 38 Hitmonlee. Heero eats it. She has a level 38 Hitmonchan. Heero eats it. A good day is had.

Crush Girl Sharon is next. With a level 37 Mankey. Then a Primeape. I’m sensing a theme with some of these people.

I’m going to be so full of hatred if this extra bit has enough routes for me to fill my Pokedex to 50. RIP Exp. Share. But apparently the Ember Spa is for healing only. Tragic.

We return to water, and so Zaft returns to the front of the squad.

Swimmer Finn’s level 38 Starmie vs Zaft. Ready, fight.

It ain’t much of a fight, let me tell you that.

Swimmer Maria has a level 37 Seadra. Naisu. Then another. This extra area likes me.

Fisherman Tommy has five pokemon, which. I do not think I’ll like. The first one is a level 33 Goldeen. Suspicions confirmed. There’s another one. Allenby, in the spirit of you not becoming obsolete, I think you can take this Trainer. Seaking, level 35. Another Seaking. One last Seaking. Good, that’s over.

I have no memory of this place.

It seems like I need HMs.

I don’t wanna need HMs.

Even though the old man in the spa gave m the Rock Smash one.

Team Rocket is also here.

...Can Pidgey learn Strength?

Hm. Much like Rock Smash, it cannot.

Well. To the PC, I guess.

Hey Bill, what the fuck.

I guess. Uh. The map says there’s another place south of this island, so I guess I’ll explore that and then sadly proceed to whatever it was that Bill wanted me to do for him.

Swimmer Amara, who is presumably not in love with her cousin, has a level 36 Seel. Not anymore. Oh wait, she has another one. Now she’s out, because her last pokemon is a Dewgong.

Is this place named Treasure Beach because I’m expected to use this gen’s terrible Itemfinder. Because I don’t like this gen’s Itemfinder. I don’t like it at all.

Psyduck, I have you. Get out. Spearow, please stop. Tangela, interesting, but no. Fearow, I don’t have you, but the species clause is our hill to die on.

...Can I catch anything on this island? Beach? Thing?

Serebii says no.

Sigh.

I hate this fucking Itemfinder.

I guess I’m done with things here for now.

...Were these originally in English?

I just feel like they might have been.

And then I got a fetch quest for a lost child.

Her name is Lostelle.

The Pokemon Center’s PC doesn’t work either.

Bill.

Get it together.

Ugh. I can’t remember if this is a good idea in a Nuzlocke. 5 PP and 90 accuracy. PP is something I actually worry about in this gen and with this set of limitations.

but 150 damage

;-;

Oh wait, the user can’t do anything the next turn.

Sorry Heero, no Blast Burn.

Good news, there’s a level 14 Poliwag in the water. Its name Rab now.

And once again, I’m out of things to do on this island, so I guess I’m heading to the next one in hopes that it contains Bill’s quest stuff that gives me back the access to my PC.

Oh, sorry, Bill’s PC. -_-

Bill, this island getaway you dragged a ten-year-old along with you on is found wanting.

The Bill Gaiden is the strangest part of this anime.

Hey, Three Island’s PC works! Imagine that!

Anyway, we’ve stepped into the stage of beating up Bikers. Because this is their island now.

The first Biker’s name is Goon. Somehow, this is still probably better than going directly to Giovanni. Goon has a level 37 Koffing. Then a Grimer that looks like Sprinkle’s.

Hence, the ordeal with Goon ends.

Oh wait.

They’re all named Biker Goon.

These guys are so basic they don’t get actual names. #2 has a level 38 Koffing and nothing else. Good for him. #3 has a level 38 Grimer.

Oh good, someone with an actual name.

For the sake of this argument, Paxton is a name. He has a level 39 Weezing. Followed by a Muk. Very on-brand. Sprinkle, go forth.

Aaaaand it’s over.

Okay, time to work out the HM problem. What out of what I have can learn both Rock Smash and Strength? And isn’t a member of my real party.

Gyarados (Altron), Onix (Athrun), Growlithe (Duo), Krabby (Tarle)--

Wait up. Tarle can learn Strength and Rock Smash, yes.

But.

She can also learn Cut.

Quatre, you are being replaced. Even though Ren is technically the one in your slot right now. Tarle! Welcome to the wide world of being an HM slave!

We return to our regularly scheduled grinding-that-is-not-called-grinding-because-of-the-limitations-set-by-this-run. With Twins Joy & Meg. They have a level 37 Clefairy each. I have a Sprinkle and Allenby.

Aroma Lady Violet wants to battle next. She should know better. She throws out a level 36 Bulbasaur. Ivysaur. Next one’s probably a Squirtle. ...No, it’s actually another Ivysaur. Dang it. I was expecting Venusaur. I don’t know why. This gen is very unkind to the NPCs’ pools.

Tuber Alexis has a level 34 Staryu. I have Zaft up front. Oh dear. Krabby, Krabby, Staryu, and done. Sorry kid. I’m taking your money.

Worst ten-year-old ever.

Aroma Lady Nikki is next with a level 37 Bellsprout. Goody. Heero time. Weepinbell is next, and lasts just as long.

Then it’s back to Water. Tuber Amira with... her level 34 Poliwag. Then level 35 Poliwhirl. That one’s a better choice, kid. But then the Poliwag brings it on back.

A Swimmer’s in the water, and what do we get? Tisha with a level 38 Kingler.

Oh. It’s over.

Heero switching to the front for now. As we enter the Berry Forest. Looking for a lost child. Sigh.

Damn it. Do I have to fight this?

Oh, cool, it let me run. Hee. The things you don’t try normally.

And through the power of completing a side quest, we return to Two Island. Now with HMs. Trees shudder before me. And wouldn’t you know that Lostelle’s dad is Bill’s friend? Yay, the quests are over. Time to smash rocks on One Island.

My reward is fighting Pkmn Ranger Beth. She has a level 38 Bellsprout. Gloom. Gloom. They’re gone now.

Hey, Mt. Ember wants me to have something nice! A Geodude first encounter! It’s level 7, but aren’t we all sometimes. I shall name him Arms.

Crush Girl Jocelyn wants a fight. She has a level 38 Hitmonchan, but I have a Heero. She has a second one. I still have a Heero.

Wolverine’s day job. He has a level 37 Exeggcute. Oooh, and then a level 40 Exeggutor. Nice, bro. They’re both gone.

I keep climbing this place.

I hope Moltres isn’t at the end.

I hope more trainers are.

Sigh. Back down we go.

Worse, I think after we talk to Bill... It might be Giovanni time.

After I quickly check if I could grab another Leftovers from the other Snorlax that isn’t Po.

Cool. Grabbed. Here, Sprinkle. You’re gonna be a player character here.

So.

I’m out of Trainers.

Okay.

The team.

I’m going to do whatever I can to keep you guys alive.

You’re actually the first trainer I found in here.

Cooltrainer Yuji. He starts with a level 38 Sandslash. Allenby, I’m wanting you to have opportunity, but really, I’m sensing that there might not be much point. You can have the Sandslash, though. Oh, and the Graveler. Sprinkle’s in the the Marowak. For Onix we can move back to Allenby. And then there’s a Graveler, and that’s good too.

I want to make sure you aren’t too weak for the winter, Allenby.

First trainer done.

Black Belt Atsushi, what do you have. ...A Machop. A level 40 Machop. Then Machoke. Allenby cleans the stage.

Okay, I think after this, Sprinkle’s in front, but if I have the chance to switch before a Black Belt, Allenby can be in front. I don’t want to divide the exp too much. Ridiculously overpowered individual pokemon is still the basic trend I’m fighting for. Sprinkle needs the levels more than Allenby.

One level 43 Rhyhorn. Sprinkle laughs.

Cooltrainer Warren is next. With five pokemon. Starting with a level 37 Marowak. Then a Rhyhorn, a Nidoqueen, a Nidorina, and another Marowak. Geez. I feel like I’m getting drunk on the exp. So little for so long. So much is such large pieces. It’s euphoric. This must be why people do drugs.

A Black Belt follows, so Allenby’s back up front against Black Belt... Takashi. He has a level 38 Machoke. I should really consider giving Allenby a primary Fighting move that isn’t Karate Chop. Machop’s next. Then another Machoke that I Allenby has lost enough HP to worry about. Heero.

I think that’s the end of trainers I can reach without going through the whirly maze. I don’t like the whirly mazes. Too much like Silph. Bad mojo.

But we have Sprinkle! What could possibly go wrong!

No.

Tamer Cole has a level 39 Arbok for some reason. Uh. Po, get over here. Then we have a Tauros, so surprise, Allenby, go get it. Allenby spends a ton of time confused and we’re all sad, but then it works out.

Another Black Belt, another Allenby.

And screw it, we’re in the final chapters. Allenby can have a TM. Brick Break replaces Karate Chop, because I was tired of one of my best Attackers not one-shotting things.

Black Belt Kiyo has one level 43 Machoke. Ready, Allenby?

Allenby slays, Sprinkle goes back in front.

Just in time for Cooltrainer Samuel. He has a level 37 Sandslash. A level 38 Rhyhorn. A level 39 Nidoking. A Nidorino I gift to Po. And a Sandslash brings Sprinkle back in. On to the next.

Oh.

First out is a level 45 Rhyhorn.

Yeah. This is going to be fine until it isn’t. I’m not looking forward to that moment. A level 50 Rhyhorn pops out, and again. Yeah. Oh good, his Nidoqueen is only 44. The Nidoking is 45 because these games can’t quite help being sexist.

A level 42 Dugtrio is... last?

Huh.

Sprinkle?

I’m glad I trained you.

Now then.

I won’t be arrogant enough to say I’ve almost won. I’m the one who lost two of my team to a random Gyarados I didn’t even need. But the number of things left is shrinking very quickly.

I think our rival decides to be a pain right before the League, so Zaft is up front in case of Pidgeot. Other than that, there’s not much I really can do, short of some TM shopping I might consider once I make it through Victory Road. A little on the fence for that, still.

I feel like we’ve done this before. :P

Hopefully this time won’t be too different.

Yep, Pidgeot first. At level 47. Ick. Spark isn’t enough to take it out all the way, so I think I might want to risk another of--okay, no. No to everything about that. No risking. Just heading on forward. That damn thing’s Quick Attack does enough damage to worry about it using other moves.

(Zaft needs another move. I thought one would’ve been learned by now...)

Great, Pidgeot down. And oh look, Turq has a Rhyhorn too. They’re very in this season. Sprinkle, if you wouldn’t mind... It’s level 45, which makes me feel slightly better about everything. Not by much, but I appreciate it.

Heero steps in for Exeggcute. It’s only 45, too.

Blastoise is up.

...Zaft. You’re using Light Screen first, but there are too few exp chances for me to spare you the risk of this one entirely. This is partially why you’re here at all.

It’s level 53. Okay. Zaft, you’re using Light Screen, hopefully living, and then not staying.

Blastoise used Rain Dance.

It is so fucking tempting to have Zaft stay in, but Zaft’s best move is Spark. Which is pretty inexcusable now that I think about it. My only attempt at an excuse would be that I could’ve sworn it was supposed to learn the whatever thing by now.

But in any case, Po. Tank us in.

His Blastoise knows Water Gun.

This game’s idea of balancing fear and actual balance is entertaining at times.

Wow, Body Slam did basically nothing. Oh well. The Blastoise can’t kill Po, so they’re staying locked in a room together until I get the outcome I want.

Po’s a good girl.

Turq’s Growlithe is still a Growlithe, so Allenby!

Alakazam is last. Heero, take the wheel. Hot level 47 v 47 action.

I win!

Hell. Those level differences do not make me happy. Hopefully the main threat is meant to be that three of them haven’t evolved yet, and will have by the end. Otherwise, I hope Victory Road is way more full of trainers than I remember. I do not like this.

...Also.

Hey, ZAFT.

........

Oooooooooh.

Guess who looked at the wrong gen of Electrode’s Pokedex entry?

Okay, first thing on my list next time? We’re getting you Thunderbolt. Because Electro Ball doesn’t exist right now. Uh. Sorry about that. Your crippling overspecialization is. perhaps. now crippling.

Look, let’s just focus on the highs.

I have all eight badges, and I beat my rival. I’m cleared to head through the League. Good, right? We’re all fine here.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge #Nuzlocke #playthrough

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reskulled-bxnes · 7 years

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Back Home

[TW: BLOOD + SURGRY]

- An aftermath of “Coming Home” feat. @fairyskullpxnk , @jointhegrunts @angusgruntpatty @thxgsmansion , @agentcatman and @dittoskull

After frantic texts from the skull grunt, her family rushes to the docks to get Alena who is bleeding out with only her jacket to hold her side together.

Alena

Upon arriving back home, she grabbed her bag, as well as her side and bolted right towards the docks. She couldn’t make it without falling and the blood caused a commotion with other people. Not only that there is a Team Skull grunt coming off the boat but also bleeding out with only her jacket to keep her bound.

Valencia

V Kommo-o and Gen slide into the docks, the Red head using her sister senses to wade through the comotion and spot Alena. "ay!!"

Gene

Gene poked her head up with Pookie flying close behind, looking around to see the commottion. The girl's eyes widened and she hopped off of Kommo-o's back, running and rushing towards Alena's side. "Alena!!"

Mike/Koa

While others road in on their pokemon; Mike had been thrown over Koa's shoulder as the bigger grunt helped him keep up. The man made the crowd part from not only his size but his intimidating appearance. "H-Hey, over here!" the ginger called.

Coming along on a tea headed bird to the docks, X seemed to be having a struggle while holding on with one hand. "Should had turned into a Mudsdale or somethin' make this a lot easier for me to-" With a quick hault near the dock he went flying a bit, someone shouldn't had complained about what Pokemon their Ditto transformed into.

Alena

Many emotions are running through Alena’s head but it’s some comfort and lots of panicking. She glances over at the people who are actually there for her with her good eyes. Trough tears and mains of pain, she’s trying to get her words out which turn out to be a blabbering mess.

Valencia

"Who's got medical training!? where's doc??" V is on her like a fly on fly paper, helping her staunch the bleeding and looking her over. "don't talk kid, it's gonna be ok.. we got you." she turns back to the others. "some one text G an someone text doc. Help me get her on Kommo-o, we need to get her back to Po town."

Mike/Kao

"Don't strain yourself.." Koa grunted , placing a large hand gently upon her shoulder. "Y-Yeah, be careful." Mike sighed. "Deep b--br-breaths. Do you wish t' be carried. or flown..?" the blunette asked.

Gene

Gene was kneeling beside both Alena and V while she was looking her over, fear covering the girl's face. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. She was trying so hard not to freak out in front of the other members but, she was starting to shake, only to shake her head to focus. "Y-Yeah, deep breaths and stay calm. We've got ya sis!"

Getting up from the mess, he wasn''t going show signs of panic. It was a time for being serious , hearing V's need of help he needed. "I gotcha covered." His Ditto slid back to where it belonged onto his arm, he lifted Alena up trying to carry her to the dragon Pokemon. "Give me a hand here."

Alena

She takes very shaky breaths in and out trying to calm herself down but slowly slipping from conciseness. She’s trying to stay awake for everyone but she can barely talk aside from some mumbling to keep everyone hopeful that she’s still alive. “Mmg....carry....”

Valencia

V uses her skull tank to help tie her jacket in place over the wound, keeping her less likely to bleed out. "y'all make sure and get her to Doc stat, yeah?" she lets them load up before looking back at the crowd. she needed to get some questions answered. "Gene, you're on Kommo-o. someone strong get up there with her so Alena don't fall off. I'll meet y'all back at Po Town soon."

Gene

Gene was freaking out more but she managed to text the boss, looking up at V with a nod of her head. She was quick to climb up onto the dragon Pokemon's back, holding on tightly. "I-I texted the boss! Texting Angus right now!' Though she was shaking, she was holding strong onto the phone. Nows not the time to panic!

"Guess I'll hold on to her...uh let's see." He placed Alena on Kommo-o and looked somewhat worried. "Um let's see..." He honestly had never seen a Kommo-o before, he joined riding the Kommo-o holding on to Alena that even his Ditto arm used it's sticky body to make it easier for him not to let Alena fall off.

Alena

Alena still mumbles to herself, seeming like a prayer is coming outta her or just a state of just being alive. Managing her breathing while the other are trying to carry her back to the Shady House.

Gene

Gene put her phone back into her pocket and reached out, lending X a helping hand to hold Alena. "Go Kommo-o! Go!" She called, ushering the dragon Pokemon to head back to the house.

SHADY HOUSE

Angus

Angus is gathering the needed materials. The table is quickly beginning to look like an operating table....

Alena

A sudden crash of the doors before Alena felt herself being lifted and having something cold under her. She had a feeling like she’s back home but doesn’t know where she is. Her eyes are shut and still mumbling nonsense under her breath while a bright light gleams in her sight.

Gene

Gene was quick to try and get Alena hoisted onto the table, slowly starting to go into a panic attack. She never was a fan of seeing blood, and now seeing her fellow member bleeding, it didn't help. "W-We're here Angus! Where are ya?!"

Angus

"Shit. That's not good. Okay. I don't have time to put her out. Fuck I don't even think I have anything to put her out with." Angus was putting pressure on the wound with a steady hand, removing it only to pour alcohol on the wound. "Sorry, girl! This is gonna sting!"

Alena

Her eyes widen at the sudden unbearable pain. “AH, F-FUCK!!” Alena couldn’t help but to yell and arch her back while holding back her tears. She knew this was gonna be painful but nothing like she hasn’t experienced before. It felt like a pot of hot water was poured on her and kept feeling the sting from that.

Angus

"Okay, breathe. Breathe through it. It's all gonna be over soon. I'm gonna fix you up really good. I just need you to breathe nice and slow." Angus spoke in the most gentle, yet serious tone any of them had ever heard. He was now wiping away the fluids on the stab wound and trying to keep as little blood from coming out as possible.

Gene

Gene held onto one of Alena's hands to keep her grounded, or to keep her from shaking so badly. Pookie even chirped and tried to keep the girl's focus on him, all the while Angus was working. "Easy sis, its gonna be okay.."

Alena

She’s trying her best....she’s trying her damn best to breath. They were shaky but she still followed through while grasping onto Gene’s hand. She gave it tight squeezes once in a while. Almost like a stress ball.

Angus

"If we had the right medicine I could slow her heart rate, but we don't so all we got is her breathing slow." Angus explained, desperately hoping someone would bring him some needles and thread. He'd send Gene, but Alena had already latched to the other grunt. His only hope was someone outside Shady House.

Gene

And she let Alena squeeze her hand on the few occasions, wincing each time but, she didn't care. "Deep, slow breaths Alena. Keep your eyes on me sis. You're gonna be okay..I promise." In a way, it was helping her not to keep an eye on the blood she'd seen.

Angus

Angus is getting irriated fast. He's losing Alena... He needs those needles.

Nanu

Abruptly, the policeman had whatever was needed to treat the grunt. It wasn't much, but he was able to get a few gauzes, a towel for the blood, some thread and needle for the wound. " Hey. Where the girl? "

Gene

Gene had dropped her phone out of sheer panic, but at least thankfully she got Nanu's attention. She glanced up though with seeing the cop, waving with a free hand. "Over here!"

Nanu

It looked bad.... Nanu makes a quickly paced jog towards the two grunts, dropping some of his supples on the ground. "If any of you know how to close wounds, I suggest you help me now. I can help with cleaning the blood. "

Angus

"I need all of y'all to be quiet. I'm gonna stitch this girl up so she stops fucking bleeding." Angus threaded his needle and aimed at the wound. "Alena? Honey? Don't move. This is gonna hurt like hell, but I need ya to not move. I'm gonna keep you alive." He spoke while slipping the needle into the skin.

Gene

Gene looked up at Nanu with wide, ruby eyes, looking absolutely terrified. Okay, maybe she went a bit overboard with getting Nanu here, but she was panicking. What else was she to do? She couldn't do much else, other than let Alena hold onto her hand, as well as her and her Cutiefly keep her attention. But her shaking was starting to become more apparent and her eyes closed. Nope, she can't look at anymore blood.

Alena

Feeling the needle go into her skin, her limp body was now squeezing the ends of the table with all her might at the sudden pain. She held back a scream because she couldn’t move that much but tears soon came streaming down her face. “F-Fu.....ck...”

Angus

Angus worked quickly. His seams were even, neat, the makings of a real doctor. Maybe someday... He pushed through the blood and whines of Alena and finally finished the stitches. He hoped they'd hold well. Then came the fun part. Angus quickly set himself up to give blood to Alena. He had to give a lot, but if it meant she lived he would do it. Hooking up an IV to himself and to Alena he began the slow process. And there he would stay. Right by her side until she had what she needed. He would be weak by the end of this. Bed ridden even. But Alena would live...

By the time she had been given enough blood, Angus was barely with it. He managed to disconnect the IVs, but immediately fell to the floor...

Alena

Alena barely could feel anything at this point. She felt blood coming into her system. She slowly opens her eyes to see who donated blood— If she could, she would of sprang into action to get him something in his system. “S-Sugar....someone give him....sugar...!” She managed to say. Her eyes still felt droopy and still kept them shut. She’s now breathing normally with new stitches to show everyone.

Angus

"A-Alena.... Rest..." He muttered while on the floor.

Alena

She couldn’t just rest after seeing that sight. “I-....” The guilt has eating her up. This wouldn’t of happened if she didn’t go on that damn trip, if she wasn’t so curious and if she wasn’t so careful. “Thank you s-so much, Doc......”

Gene

Gene snapped out of it for a moment, having kept her eyes closed throughout the blood transfusion. Though with her free hand, she motioned Pookie to grab something sweet, the little Cutiefly rushing off to grab a candy bar. "..Y..You rest too, Angus.." She still held onto Alena's hand, so terrified but...seemed that she'd pull through.

#;[watching from the screen] discord commentary #//long post #;[event] rocket power

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asiplaythem · 7 years

Text

Devil May Cry: Series Retrospective- "DmC: Devil May Cry"

At long last, I sat down and played DmC: Devil May Cry. Well and truly, the dust has settled, the dead horse has been beaten into compost, and the reactionary rages and defenses have died down. And, for myself, I think my fanboy passion for the series has subsided.

A weak Special Edition, a pachinko machine and a bad MvC model later, I hold out no honest hope for the Devil May Cry franchise now. We’ll always have the Temen-ni-Gru Dante...but we’re not getting back together, lets face it.

So now, when I look at Ninja Theory’s protagonist, who I will still refer to as Donte, the fresh insult that he used to be is now replaced with a genuine, tryhard, grittiness that just seems cute in an “ah, bless” kind of way. He’s no longer the sour white whale that ate my favourite character and franchise, he’s just a little fish who flops around in a harmlessly funny way.

....before the massive flaws of the game come forth.

This review is based on the PS3 launch version and does its best to criticize it on its own merits/failings, not merely on fan insult or in comparison to the previous games. But it is after all called “Devil may Cry”, so its existence as part of a wider franchise isn’t ignored either.

Also, fair warning, this is going to be long as hell. Which is suitable, because it feels like hell sometimes...

Technical Qualities

The engine/optimization is dogshit.

Ninja Theory infamously rejected Capcom’s offer to translate their wunderengine, MT Framework, into English so that they could use it. Instead the team built DmC: Devil May Cry using Unreal Engine 3, which was already starting to look dated by 2010 when the game was announced. For perspective, Unreal Engine 4 was revealed to the public before DmC even came out. The likely reason Ninja Theory chose to stick with Unreal was because of a developer kit popular with young game creators. Unreal 3 was a ubiquitous engine in the last gen of consoles, being the backbone of games like Bioshock: Infinite and the Batman: Arkham series. But you’ll be hard pressed to find any games using it that were as fast paced as the Devil May Cry series.

Off the top of my head, games that use Unreal 3 usually have collision and texture pop-in problems. This is less of an issue in first person or isometric games when player movement and camera angles/viewable space are restrained, but it’s disastrous for something like DmC with its wide angle camera, large open areas, dense enemy count and fast player movement.

On the very first mission, in no more than 2 minutes of having control, Donte got stuck in a wall as I tried to go through the level like a normal player. This was followed by hideous amount of texture pop-in, audio glitches that muted parts of the soundscape, a couple of attacks that didn’t connect with enemies when they should have, and loading times out the arse.

A nasty little secret I only found out from replaying it first hand was that many of the mini-cutscenes (like when Donte looks at the Hunter demon hop around buildings, or does a backflip as he collects his guns) are secretly loading screens, unskippable until the loading operation is completed. All of which are frustrating to have to sit through in such a fast paced game. The way they make such a deal out of the same, generic enemy spawning in by giving it a dramatic close-up every time feels patronizing on repeat fights. “OOOH look! It’s a flying thing again!”. Yeah, no game, these things are easy to kill and I know you’re covering up something with this. Nice try.

Without seeing the development build firsthand, I can’t say for certain why it ran so badly. The release of the Definitive Edition for PS4/XBONE implies that it was a hardware limitation...but....like....that’s what optimization is for; making games run well on older hardware. More on this later, but design choices in level layouts, for instance, can remedy this. You can, for instance, segment levels in a way that stops you from seeing large areas at a single moment, reducing how much the consoles needs to render and thus cutting down load times.

Instead, what we largely got were huge foggy rooms and camera lens flares there to hide unloaded textures. The problem then is that it just, in my opinion at least, doesn’t look very good. Think of how Silent Hill 2 and 3 manage to still look so good due to how they segment rooms with doors you can’t see beyond. Or how the use of fog doesn’t cover up anything that you’re supposed to be looking at. And how they manage to have shorter loading times for it, a whole generation of consoles in the past.

Another trick is to “hard bake” lighting effects into the level’s textures themselves, rather than relying on extra shader operations. It’s more taxing on hardware to emulate, say, the actual light physics of a red spotlight instead of just making the textures of the walls and floor red, using trickery to make it seem like there’s a functioning red light there. Open world games generally don’t have this option, but with Devil May Cry, which is a linear series with rarely changing environments, you can use trickery like this effectively. Instead, DmC has more shaders -many of which look terrible in cutscenes- than it can handle.

Ninja Theory did a bad job of optimizing their game for their primary hardware. Even with the update there were visual problems, audio glitches and collision bugs throughout the entire game. It’s far from unplayable, but it’s ropey for a AAA game.

Level Design

Before I get into the artistic choices, I want to take a moment to look at the more technical, grounded aspects of how Ninja Theory designed levels.

Most of the previous Devil May Cry games are economic with their level design, reusing areas multiple times over with remixed enemy layouts and the occasional change in lighting, music and even textures. This cuts down on development time, saves disc space, and allows the designers to really put care into each individual location. Resident Evil, the Souls games, and Deus Ex: Human Revolution are other good examples.

DmC had potential for this with its “living city” concept. The best use of this concept is with Mission 2: Home Truths, where Donte visits his and Vurgil’s gigantic childhood home. As you backtrack into familiar hallways and foyers, the corruption of Mundus’ influence causes walls to crack open, pathways to change shape and different enemies to spawn. It’s a great (re)use of assets that trip up your expectations as a player the first time around. It also uses some Metroidvania style locked doors and obstacles which you need certain abilities/weapons to traverse. The unfortunate limitation of that is that you can literally fly through some levels and skip entire sections of the game upon a replay; Mission 3 requires you to unlock the Air Dash move in order to clear a gap that appears early on, but you’ll already have it on a replay, turning a 20~ minute level into a 3~ minute one.

Sequence breaking like this doesn’t happen in any huge way though, due to how each level is an entirely separate area of its own. Likewise, most of these ability/weapon barriers lead to optional bonus areas that are slightly off the beaten path.

Linear level design isn’t inherently bad, but in this case I think it was a huge missed opportunity. Not only is there a parallel real world vs Limbo premise that has Donte shift from a greyscale, mundane city into a colourful, chaotic image of itself, that Limbo dimension has the ability to change in real time. If the level designers allowed players to shift from dimension to dimension in-game, a la Soul Reaver, or if they had just played up the “living city” concept in a more interactive way, the city would have been much more interesting and, ironically, feel much more alive than it does. Instead we got a linear, albeit pretty, collection of corridors with very little off the beaten path. DmC incentivizes exploration by hiding collectables, but “exploration” ultimately means turning left where you should turn right to find a Lost Soul behind a bin.

One place where they ALMOST got it right is the first Slurm Virility factory level. After a cutscene showing a mixing room, Donte and Kat break from the tour, slowly jog down some empty, boring hallways in to an equally empty and boring warehouse. Dante can’t attack or jump in this section, and there is absolutely nothing to interact with. It’s an unfortunately uninteresting forced walking section, only one small step above being an unskippable cutscene. Kat then sprays her squirrel jizz magic circle on the ground, Donte enters the Limbo version of the level, the room expands and the crates become platforms, and the level really begins from there. For reasons I never understood, Donte then has to take a huge route up sets of boxes and across dozens of different rooms to circle back on the way he came in. On the way back, he backtracks down the Limbo version of the boring hallways of before, except now they’re slightly less boring, with a few enemies to fight and moving walls and floors. Then you get to the mixing room (which is only shown in a cutscene) for a brawl, before moving on.

The reason this didn’t work as well as it could have are twofold. 1: You only see the real world version of a tiny portion of the level, and 2: said portion is boring as fuck and you don’t interact with it in any meaningful way. But hey, at least the idea was there.

Moments where the living city concept is pushed to the side for more one-off but more effectively done ideas can be found in the upside-down prison, the short prelude to the Bob Barbas fight and Lilith’s rave.

The upside-down prison starts off fairly strong, tapping into one of those childhood ideas we all idly wondered about; what if gravity suddenly shifted? The level starts off strong and has moments throughout that give a trippy sense of vertigo. Mostly this is with car and train bridges, but unfortunately loses the point as it progresses. Because the prison isn’t just upside-down, but is also in Limbo, gravity is already unreliable and the bottomless pit below the floor already looks like the sky. Similarly with the lead up to the boss fight with Poison that has you run “down” a vertical pipe, it all looks floaty and weird by default, making further attempts to be floaty and weird just seem...normal. Likewise, the prison is mostly comprised of bland, urban and industrial textures, completely interchangeable with any old warehouse. You quickly forget that you’re upside-down at all.

The setting also well outstays it’s welcome, taking up 4 entire levels to itself with not enough ideas to justify it. There’s even one moment where, after meeting Fineas, you’re told you need to follow a flock of harpies to find their lair....even though their lair is a completely linear set of halls...That says it all really; there was a fun idea in here, but it was executed without the same creativity.

Following that is the tragically short Bob Barbas prelude. THIS is one of the single most interesting concepts in level design I have ever seen. Seriously. I cannot think of any other game that took news graphics and idents and turned them into platforming sections. Even moments during the fight where Donte is dropped into news chopper footage manage to do something brilliantly original, stylish and funny. But as quickly as it came, it’s gone before you know it. It’s a fucking crime that the previous 4 levels didn’t use the same concept to break up the monotony of their urban corridors. They could have had Donte teleport around chunks of the level using the various TV screens with Bob Barbas propaganda on them, hopping across idents until he got to the other side. Shame.

Next up, almost in a moment of clarity from the designers when they realized that could do digital environments and cheesy tv show graphics in their game more than once, we have Lilith’s nightclub. Again, much more interesting than the living city stuff, albeit a bit harsh on the eyes with its lighting effects. There’s not much to say about it beyond “it looks cool”, but it’s worth mentioning that it feels much more focused and fully utilized than the upside-down prison. All in all. the level design in DmC is at odds with itself, marked by its lost potential. The concepts are interesting, but the execution is almost always lackluster, favouring hand-holdy linear hallways with “cinematic” qualities over more interactive, open spaces with a sense of place. For a game that, pre-release, seemed to want to show us a more fleshed out world than previous games, it winds up as little more than a flat backdrop.

But oh well, DMC is all about the action happening center stage, right?

Combat

Combat in DmC is a mix bag.

The number of different attacks available and Donte’s versatility at chaining moves across 5 different weapons is pretty great. I’m a fan of how you can swap special pause combos across your alternate weapons; two quick hits with Rebellion, a pause, then a final triple smash with Arbiter takes a little extra skill to pull off but rewards you with a faster combo than if you just used Arbiter alone. Likewise, little tweaks like how fast Drive can charge now and how it does actual damage unlike Quick Drive in DMC4, or how you can hold Million Stab for longer, are all mostly fun changes. I tend to have a lot of fun with Osiris and find it to be the most versatile weapon for pulling off different combos. Its ability to charge up the more hits it delivers is a good incentive to hook in as many enemies as possible too, even if it means its uncharged state doesn’t do enough damage. Aquila is a fun supplementary weapon, mostly good for distracting one enemy with the circle attack and pulling the rest into range for Osiris. Eryx, however, is rubbish. Its incredibly short range, long charge times and weak damage output really throw it onto the trash pile when Arbiter is right beside it. Also, personal taste, but it just looks stupid. It’s like a slimy set of Hulk Hands. And they don’t even yell “HULK SMASH” when you attack. Previous DMC gauntlets all include a gap-closing dive attack to put you in enemy range, but the Demon Grapple doesn’t work the large enemies you’ll want to use it against. More on that in a bit.

Guns are mostly pointless. Donte can move laterally so much easier than before that long range combat is redundant. Charge shots with Ebony & Ivory are like Eryx in that they take too long to charge and don’t do enough damage to be worth the wait. Also, because you need to be in a neutral, non-demon non-angel, state to fire them, charging them up while you wail on someone only works if you limit yourself to Rebellion. Switching to Demon or Angel weapons resets the charge and limits you to a grapple move.

Which leads to another problem; 4 of your 5 weapons disable the use of guns. I mean, you’re not missing out on much by the end anyway because the guns are boring and ineffectual to use against all but one enemy (the Harpy), but it feels like a mistake. They literally give you guns in cutscenes as an afterthought. Like when Vurgil goes “oh yeah, have this, it’ll kill the next few enemies really quickly then sit in your back pocket for all eternity thereafter”. Donte never feels like he’s earning these guns like he earns the melee weapons, and they never seem to be worth a damn in gameplay.

The grapples are more useful but, again, having two different types feels redundant in combat. Large enemies can’t be pulled towards you, so why not do what DMC4 did and have one grapple that does both jobs; pull small enemies towards you, pull yourself towards larger enemies? The end result in either scenario is to get in melee range, so it shouldn’t make that much of a difference. Considering Aquila has a special attack to pull enemies in, why not offload those moves to the other weapons too? If you want to keep both pull-in and pull-towards moves in combat, why not give, say, Eryx a special pull-in attack so you can swap back to guns easier?

In short; while the combat is versatile and very satisfying to pull off combos with, large parts of it feel badly thought out. The moves and weapons that end up being useless most of the time have enemies spawn after you unlock them, just as an excuse to show how they work.

The infamous “demon attacks for red enemies, angel attacks for blue enemies” gimmick actually wasn’t as bad as I expected. Until I had to fight a Blood Rage and a Ghost Rage at the same fucking time. I don’t think I need to get into it due to how many other people have complained, but it was just fucking infuriating to say the least.

Okay, so.....Devil May Cry 3 did it better. Most people don’t seem to know this, but DMC3 gave you damage bonuses if you used the right weapon against the right enemies, signified by a subtle particle effect. Nowhere in the enemy or weapon descriptions does it explain this, but if you use your head (or just experiment) you can generally figure it out. Beowulf is a light weapon, Doppelganger is a shadow monster, using light on it does extra elemental damage signified by a flash effect with each hit. Cerberus is an ice weapon, Abysses are liquidy enemies, so using ice on it freezes them, signified by an icicle effect. etc But most importantly; it never STOPS you from using the “wrong” weapon against enemies. I don’t think I need to go into how annoying it is when your combat flow is interrupted by your angel weapon PINGing off a red enemy, but god damn it.

Credit where credit is due; Ninja Theory did emphasize the right part of DMC’s combat when they opted to focus on combos over balance. Both 3 and 4 had broken combos and attacks that skilled players could easily pull off, but they would make combat boring and the games all emphasized an honour system to prevent abuse. If you were good enough to use Pandora to break enemy shields in 4, you were good enough to not abuse it.

Then again, a games combat is only as good as its enemies.

Enemies/Bosses

So it’s a real shame then that enemies and bosses don’t push you hard enough.

The AI is atrocious. NO hack n’ slash should have two hardcore enemies accidentally kill each other without you noticing. The mixing room in the Slurm levels pits you against two Tyrants/the big fat dudes who charge at you. There’s an easy-to-avoid pitfall in the middle of this room. Once, on hard mode no less, they spawned in as usual and one accidentally nudged the other into the pit, insta-killing him while I literally stood still and watched...

Most regular man-sized enemies (Stygians, Death Knights, and their variations) have a common problem of just not attacking first, opting to side step around you forever until you run at them. Luckily there usually is one aggressive enemy mixed in there, like the flying guys with guns or the screamy-chainsaw men, so you’ll be forced to dodge into their range, but it’s embarrassing when they’re isolated. You’re left standing there, charging a finishing attack with Eryx like you have your dick in your hand, and these things are just strafing around you, doing nothing. So you miss with Eryx, step forward, and anti-climatically twat them about with Rebellion just to get it over with.

At first I thought this combat shyness was a design choice, but then it happened with the final boss, revealing it to be a pathfinding bug. But more on that later...

So yes, the red/blue enemy gimmick is bullshit and breaks the flow of a room-sweeping combo you have going, but it actually works really well with the Witch enemy who hangs back, projecting shields onto other enemies while she snipes at you from a distance. She’s annoying to hunt down when you’re dealing with 10 other enemies, so you have to prioritize whether you want to plough through them first or clumsily chase her down first. It’s a nice dynamic to fights, adding that extra layer of strategy to mix things up in a less punishing way.

The main difference with the Witch and the other colour coded enemies is that the Witch gives you options. Blood/Ghost Rages do not, and make fights involving them feel like complete chores. You’ll find the one tactic that works, then rely on it every time.

No, the most egregious enemies were the bosses.

All of them, every single one, was terrible. Not including the Dream Runner mini-bosses, there was a total of 6, less than any of the other DMCs, which makes how sloppily designed they were all the more horrendous. Every single boss is formulaic, partitioned out into “segments” cut up by mini cutscenes that have Donte do something sassy when he works them down enough. But each of those segments tend to have Donte repeat the same, boring, tired tactic until the fight is over. Bob Barbas is the worst example; jump over his beams, use that one Eryx attack to slam into the nonsensical floor buttons, wail on him for a third of his health bar, kill 10 minor enemies in his news world, repeat two more times.

No matter what difficulty you’re on, these bosses never manage to be a challenge due to how placid they are. They will always accommodate their little “formula” you need to solve to beat them.

It’s baffling, because the previously mentioned Dream Runner mini-bosses are great. They’re aggressive, reactive, open to almost any combo you can outwit them with, and don’t force you to repeat the same set of steps in every encounter.

Vurgil on the other hand....

So, here we are, the grand finale. The ultimate evil has revealed itself, and it’s your own brother! You’re clearly a badass because you just took down Satan himself along with his army, so surely the only thing left that could challenge you is your more experienced twin.

Well, he would, if his AI didn’t start the show by consistently suffering from that same pathfinding bug that makes minor enemies interminably strafe around you. So far so good for my first playthrough. So I attack him, maybe hit him 5 times before a min-cutscene rears its head because I’ve suddenly made it into the next stage. Same thing happens once or twice. Then, somehow, Vurgil’s model freezes in the air during one of his attacks. He hangs there indefinitely until I attack him again. Then, at the end of the fight where he’s summoned a clone (because he can do that apparently, not that he’s ever so much as referenced the fact) so his real self can take a knee and heal, I’m supposed to use Devil Trigger to move him out of the way and finish the job (though, I don’t understand why the real Vurgil isn’t also thrown into the air). I do so, but the clone lingers on the ground for a moment, trying to attack me before just zipping into the sky; another bug. I attack the real Vurgil, but nothing happens at first. I keep wailing on him, hoping that one of my attacks will eventually collide and then, -Scene Missing-, the final cutscene of the battle plays.

Do I need to say any more? Do you see what a fucking mess the boss fights are? The final battle for humanity, the emotional crux of the story, the update to the final unsurpassed boss fight of DMC3, reduced to a buggy, embarrassing slap fight that gave me four glitches on my first playthrough.

The whole thing bungled the climax of its story. But, then again, was the story really that sacred to begin with....

Concept and Story

I promise I will not use the word “edgy” here.

Satire and social commentary, no matter how cartoonish, is a weird fit in a Devil May Cry game. DMC2 had an evil businessman too, and 4 ended with you punching the Pope in the face, but neither seemed to say anything substantial against capitalism or religion. They existed in a much more fantastical place, where any sort of commentary was aimed at a more philosophical target. “What makes us human? What makes us into demons? What is hell like? Is family more important than what you feel is right?” The previous games are all centered around a much more personal, individualistic identity crisis, and not any sort of populist, society-wide problems.

DmC brings up surveillance states, the most recent economic crisis and late-capitalism, soft drink addiction/declining nutrition, news manipulation, the prison industrial complex, conspiracy culture, populous revolt, some scant mentions of mental institutions, hacktivism, and the Occupy Movement. These topics, all of which are pretty damn serious and warrant long discussions, are simply decoration for a story about fantasy demons secretly running the world They Live style. Hell, it basically IS They Live, only the aliens are demons and the tools of control are more contemporary. (somehow there’s nothing about the internet in there though...)

All in all, its treatment of modern issues is childishly simple at best and cynical at worst. Sure, the game presents itself as defying capitalism and social engineering via advertising, but it then goes on to launch an ad and hype campaign bigger than any of the previous games, spanning across billboards, phone apps, social media promotion, the usual games media rounds and expensive pre-rendered television commercials. Hell, they even had an ad for their ad! All of this amid a gigantic fan backlash and in-fighting with games journalists on whether people were mad about Donte’s hair colour of if they were just outrightly entitled.

The fact that lead designer and writer Tameem Antoniades responded to this backlash and feedback by tweeking Donte’s design and adding in a random moment were a wig literally drops out of the sky onto Donte’s head for a jab at this “controversy” says something about the intent he had with his story; There is no real political statement behind DmC, it simply pulls from what was in the news at the time, and uses it as fodder for an otherwise archetypal plot.

The problem is that it tries to do this while also talking about hellish demons, heavenly angels and earthly humans. Well, mostly demons, because the angels are absent from the plot and Donte doesn’t seem to have any sort of Angel Trigger, and the only named human character is Kat, who doesn’t have much ploy within the story; she’s there to be rescued, and provide minimal help with a pat on the back from Donte. So demons rule the world, the angels are absent, and the people who suffer are us lowly humans. But it’s a half-demon, half-angel who “saves” us all/reduces the city to rubble, while all us humans can do is post about it on Twitter. Doesn’t sound very empowering to me.

The main villain should say it all. He’s some sort of businessman/oligarch/banker/economist/military commander/mayor/Satan, but he makes the undeniable point that he gave human civilization it’s structure. He has a wife he at least somewhat cares about, and a child he has high hopes for. He (and his wife) shows more emotion than any of our protagonists, and they have more at stake than anyone else, with a genuine vision for the future no less. So, when he very reasonably asks Donte what his goal is, all Donte can say is “freedom” and “revenge”, then continue to childishly taunt him when pressed further. I could go on about how unhealthy the obsession with the post-apocalypse our generation has is, but suffice to say; Donte is not someone to look up to.

Donte himself, and by extent his story, has no real ideological motivation behind him despite being dressed up as an anarchist. His motivations and arch as a character are no less two dimensional than the original Dante, but now manage to be over-stated and hamfisted, with an added veneer of “politics”. Vurgil points how much he’s supposedly changed right before the final boss fight, but how he changes doesn’t include a strong statement of intent. What does Donte want? Fucked if I know! Fucked if he knows.

All of this says nothing about how...well....plain bad the writing is. The dialogue is famously cringeworthy and the plot has more holes than a sponge.

If Mundus was hunting Donte to kill him this whole time, why can’t he find him despite having multiple cameras aimed directly at this house? Why didn’t he just kill him when Donte was in the orphanage run by “demon scum”? Where was Vurgil this whole time? Why does Kat need to hit the Hunter with a molotov? Actually, what the fuck is she doing in the real world while this is happening? Are people just ignoring this pixie girl throwing bottles around a pier? What’s that weird dimension Donte goes into to unlock new powers? If it’s his own head, why are Mundus’ demons in it? And why would it change his weapons? Why doesn’t he have an Angel Trigger? If Vurgil can do all that cool shit he does in his boss fight at the end, including opening a fucking portal to another dimension, why does he need to rely on Kat to hop dimensions earlier on? Or rely on anyone for that matter? Why does he have white hair when he’s born, but Donte has black hair until the end? If Mundus is immortal, why does he need an heir? Why does time randomly slow down after Vurgil shoots Lilith? How did Kat know the layout of so many floors in Mundus’ tower? Surely he didn’t give her a tour of the whole building, right? Did Donte and Vurgil fuck the entire planet by releasing demons into earth and destroying world economics and governments? Or are there pre-existing governments anyway?

Seriously, I could go on forever.

Beyond basic plot, logic and diegetic continuity (the rules of DmC’s world, and how it suspends your disbelief), you get into more subjective questions like “is Donte a likable character?”

I, perhaps surprisingly, think he is. He’s such a tryhard asshole for the majority of his game, never stopping to think about what he’s doing or to engage with the They Live world he lives in that he is, honestly, a bit adorable. He’s not someone I’d ever have the patience to hang out with in real life, but he is at least consistent. He’s a total lughead and he almost blows up the planet, but it makes sense that a nihilistic, “act first, think later” bro would do that.

And I think that sums up his story too; dumber than it thinks, but entertaining all the same. It’s a different kind of dumb than the original games, a kind of dumb that stares at the camera wall-eyed instead of with a sideways wink.

Conclusion

As of writing, I consider Devil May Cry to be dead as a series. With no solid news from Capcom on further projects for 7 years now, DmC: Devil may Cry is the swansong of the entire franchise. Well, beyond shitty cameo costumes in Dead Rising 4, or pachinko machines or whatever.

Likewise, more recent hack n slash series like Bayonetta, Metal Gear Rising and Nier: Automata have risen to challenge Devil May Cry for its crown, and without something better than Ninja Theory’s efforts to stop them, they’ll probably get it.

DmC is not a complete trainwreck. It’s enjoyable, worth the second hand price and 10+ hours of your time. It’s entertaining in a similar way a bad film is; so long as you don’t expect too much from it, you’ll have a laugh. Let go of your bitterness with Ninja Theory and Tameem and you’ll poke fun at it in a less mean-spirited way then your fan rage wants you to. DMC deserved to end on a better note than this, but.....honestly....fuck it. Capcom probably couldn’t make anything much better themselves these days anyway.

Treat DmC like a pug; malformed and lumpy, probably should have been neutered a generation ago, but funny to look at and play with, even though it’s covered in its own slobber.

#dmc #devil may cry #ninja theory #dante

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throwingideasatthewall · 4 years

Text

Clone Wars Episode 10

Lair of Grievous

An interesting episode title

For sure

[Quote]

Most powerful is he who controls his own power

I really Like This Quote

Being a fan of ... accountability

Notably

“Vice Gunroy

Escapes,”

Ahhhhh

I mean?

The Episode Before Was (Marginally) Better ....

To It’s Pre de cessor

Why do I Get The Feeling This Is Gonna Be A Long Run..?

Any way

That’s Going

Only that one Guy

No... -Body Else

Uhm

Kit Fisto

What?!

Okay

Guess

His design Looks Neat

And No Ahsoka! (The Bad Parts.)

“Gun-”

“And Return Him Just-”

Ena bling! Where he’ll be put in a cell with other inmates that don’t deserve that

And a distraction from reckoning with the consequences of his actions

(And the hope of getting out)

“ I know we’re in the middle of nowhere,”

I like this guy

He sounds cool

Has a personality

(An over involved one?”

But generally good

This might help my nerves after last episode

Very chill

Nice

- Oh spoke too soon

So has your old Padawan Dolved

???

Seriously, does everyone keep track of everyone else’s Padawan

Obi-Wan, it made sense because he’s an over involved dick

But, seriously

Shouldn’t that be left To Yoda as the grand high Jedi?

He is the guy that okay’s these requests, right?

It’ll be great to see Nadar again

Dude, he’s busy

“ i’ll transmit the coordinates for the ren dez vous point,”

Hey they got Ahsoka right!

Maybe this episode won’t be a headache

(Also they just casually help him stalk his apprentice?

Like, that should be his choice

Like yeah two heads are better than one but that doesn’t mean he agrees to be a two- headed dragon

Dick move

And- It’s Gone (to be fair, it’s only slightly too much Tone Than Ne cess ary

“Yet,”

“Good hunting”

NO!

Well.... It’s Over,

Okay....

Nice backgrounds,

This is a really neat land

Oh, now they’re landing

Oh, cool

Fog -gy

Neat

Po -or Be -epy Ro -bot

He can’t see any -thing

“you’ll be fine R6,”

You have legs

Not pleas ed

Hav ing A Good Time

“Nadar,”

*Bows*

Dear frick who invited him here?

Like, Dude

Even if the Gen shares the same inspiration as you, you still have to obey by the rules of tox

Aka you don’t get to be a dick just because it’s a differ ent gen

You get kicked to the accoun -t- ability curve, just as well

Walk Ing into Some’s bus -i ness un warrant ed And un -ask- ed For Is Tox

And then, to follow it up, with hey you did well on the test we make you take!”

To prove we can’t assume authority over you

[Jedi master ship I believe]

I’m surprised dude doesn’t say ‘yeah your stupid club sucks,”

“ i’m sorry the war pre -vented me from seeing your train ing through to the end”]

wait dude’s Mentor bitched out and he still had to take the test?!

Murder is now on the table!*

Note; this is a joke

I never advocate death over account ability

But, geez Dude got screwed over

You were missed master

How old is he?

I’m going with adult-

Knight Ok he has enthusiasm

We’re all good!

Then let’s have a look

Allow me to show the way

Trans lation; Stop ass um ing

au tho rity

Good for him

Pretty pow.

Also yeah just casually found

“Charming,”

That’s a back -handed compliment

Like calling something “quaint”

Dude if you’re going to be on this Quest, Be Nice,

Look after the ships

Oh those poor guys

What happens to them?

[Also ships?]

Okay

So, Sith mon astery

No Guards

It’s a Sith mon as tery surrounded by fog

Clearly they were going for stealth

[And it Is pretty re mote]

The ent rance looks sealed

Yeah It’s Old

Possibly -came in the back entrance

And hoped no one wou ld suspect

[We specialize in ma king entrances]

Should n’t Dude (Jedi) Know That

Their, Jedi

Also yeah the place clearly built for stealth

Let’s bomb open the front door

Not like they could sneak out a back way

This will make less noise

Thank you common sense

But, It will still allow them a lot of time To Es cape

Like;

This why staking out is important

Patience the both of you

THE NERVE!

Dude he got here First!

You wanna help?

Be back up!

“ A second look usually pays off,”

On hand, yes- scouting ahead is good

On the other-

DICK way of put ting it

You want to explore?

Do it your self

You just assu med author ity over a wh- ole group of people

Stopping them from doing their thing

[I’m fully expec -ting him to snap at five

Like he’s being pretty enab- ling

But Dude’s being a prick

[pla -ying by the rule of “But,” Inst ead Of “Or,” Or “And,”

During their re latively func -tional mission

[dude never said he couldn’t blow up the mon astery

Just stated the fact and went about his biz

A nice factor

“What’s this,”

A stone

Bull -shit

Whelp

Smug Ass

You smell that?

Arro gance?

[let him get caught in a trap]

“ smells like droids,”

Metal Does -

It’s too dark to see anything

There’s white bulbs

Also [Forgot to mention], Chek Ov’s Gun?

[For the Gun]

Whelp

They Have Lights

[Also, Dark side shadowing]

Whelp

Hey at least there’s not as much point

Whelp

[I sense there’s something here]

Yeah?!

Was that not the whole point?

Whelp,

A rusted out old factory

Whelp

Poss- Ibly

Watch- Ing

“Ssh,”

You sure about that?

Whelp

“Well that was some thing,”

Jedi, you gonna do anything about that?

Whelp

Dude Taking point

Aga -in

Whelp

Ordering someone else’s troops

[I seriously hope that comes to bite him in the ass]

Roger Roger

Crud it’s the moon clones!

No, just droids up the stairs

Neat

They don’t see that?

Whelp

Vice Roy

What’s going on

They robots; they’re already designed to protect you

Also; BAIT!

The Jedi are here

Trap!

Also they’re walking side-by-side Nice

That’s totally someone else I call it

“ I know they’re near,”

Voice recording?

Whelp

They’re right behind you

What, where do something?

Def -initely a diff -erent per -son

Whelp

Taking longer than expect (ing)

“ Have you ever killed a Jedi?”

These guys have time for this

When fighting to fully trained adult Jedi

Those basic clankers

There the basic mooks that gets mowed down in the hundreds

Good Commentary

Bad timing

Oh now it speeds up

Good for them

They were loo -king pretty lame

Whelp

Stop playing with them!

Republic Dogs

Restraint

Shut the fuck up

It took hours

Because

“restr aint,”

Against

Mach inery

“ i’m sorry master,”

Don’t apologize

He’s being a prick

Like even by my stan- dards

[ignor- ing the war]

He turned a fun exercise again st machinery boring

By micro managing every one

-carried Away

This -dick

Those that have power should restrain themselves from using it

Against machines?

Dude....

I stick pretty closely to one moral code

And there was nothing even remotely reprehensible

About That Deal

Yeah, if they were sentient

But, they act just like normal robots Running on prot ocol Alone

Giv ing no hint to sen tience

Your complaint literally comes down

To chopping them into one or more pieces

That’s extremely overcontrolling and overbearing

Not to mention to reprimand someone....

Dick Move

That’s the point

Least it had dark ened lighting

“Lieuten ant,”

Called it

Also way to go dip shits

You left a com that can be traced back to your exact location

Whelp

Okay...

The tracking beacon

Yeah

They knew we were coming

And didn’t send a trap

Instead sene a thing that can be traced back to the location

Should’ve known Gunnery wasn’t here

No, you should’ve exercised caution

Well at least he isn’t blaming-

Screaming

Yes he would’ve

That was the first tip off

Also; clones?

I apologize for the deception

Bull shit

I apologize for my colleagues

-What?

Dude

Seriously

How easy are you trying to make it for them to find you?

Count Dooku

Why Dude?

Oh Wait enablers

Guess this is their tea sess

Okay hit us with that snark

....

Light Roast

He honestly seems so sad

What

This has got to be a trap

No shit

“Catch Some One,”

No not the vibe I got

Also there’s the clone

Wondered where he went

“To Catch,”

Whelp

Wow

What?!

Well

Looks like someone likes creepy statues

(I know there’s likely some deep lore)

Shrine

Dude this whole place looks like a monastery/castle?

You’re just figuring out This might be some ancient something or another

It’s on a foggy planet, Huge, Em-bedding And desolute

It basically screams basic cult

“Warrior,”

I was going with barbarian, but that works

Whelp

Weird

Juices

Nope Metal

Grievous Cult

This is the lair of General Grievous

Are you sure it’s not a cult?

Like I don’t know

But I wouldn’t keep Reminders of how I was brutally dismembered Around

IDK

Maybe I’m just not that extra

Whelp Dear Frick

Back to the thing

Also yeah don’t leave

Get Rein force ments

(I know I roast Plo about this all the time)

But A few more Jedi Might be useful Against a guy With multiple hands

(Or at least tell them Your Lo cation, What a quick summary)

So they know what they’re getting into if you disappear under “mysterious circumstances,”

Oh, plane

Oh, Grievous

Looks like he’s doing good for himself

Seems happy

Never mind

Guess where ignoring that thing

With The Comms

Stale mate

He honestly looks sad

You have lost your focus

I mean so far he hasn’t won shit

I’m honestly surprised he got it this far

Especially considering you’re the negative overinvolvement side

Sidious demands more dramatic results

“ can’t believe I came back to working here,”

More dead Jedi

Did he kill a bitch?

(I would say good for him but death< Acco untability-)

You expect victory over Jedi

Is battle Droids

It does require a brain

And a willingness to escalate

Oof

Seriously, Just leave

Whelp

These must be trophies

Jedi he’s murdered

Isn’t the str- the Ed- braid! Thing only for Padawan’s Like, you don’t seem to have one

So yeah Grievous probably killed a lot of children

There are so many

Maybe don’t send children to fight your battles

Why Would Dooku want to set a trap for his best general

Minion disposing Tea?

Also, why are you playing into it?

Like, fair enough, don’t turn down free Intel

But, you could set a trap and be doing other things

Like hunting down Vice Roy it doesn’t make sense

“Are we the bait or is grie -vous the -bait,”

Good question

Definitely grievous though

He was clearly offered up as a distraction From Vice Roy

We must consider who the trap is for

Grievous

You’re supposed to take him out

Your droid is track ing an in coming ship

Here we go

Match es the descrip tion

Keep out of sight

Whoa whoa hold up

Why are they calling and answering to you

These are Raden’s troopers

Dude has literally hijacked his whole life

Dude just kick him

Like fourth time but ,seriously;

Capturing him could turn the tide of the war

They’re literally handing him to you on a silver platter

Dude - needs a break

If he doesn’t know we’re here

Instantly down to do Dooku’s Dirty Work

“We need a plan,”

That’s what he just said

Whelp

That’s neat

Cool

Mood lighting works

Guards

Does he even know what happened?

Or did Sidious/Dooku set up this elaborate trap while he was out

And he’s just coming home like;

Why is the place so heckin trashed

Whelp

Dick

Dude didn’t sign up for this

Welcome home general

Half willing to give it to you

Whelp

*Oh*

Cough ing

Don’t let him cut the line

Whelp

Heck

He’s Trying

“ Don’t make me destroy you,”

If they try to foreshadow that ear lier

No Bad

Ter rible

Whelp

Seriously did they just reattach his legs??

Also, They really did not bring anything else to capture him with

Besides cables

To Grab

And nothing to tie him up with

How did they think this was going to go?

Argh

Just got slap stick ed

Haha

“Pack him up” ?

Whelp

Dude they are just knocked out

Whelp

Neat

Walking a little funny

Whelp

The clones get in the way

No you didn’t bring anything to restrain him with

“Taken him,”

Dude he just said “taken”

Not like he said “killed”

The most objectionable thing he said in that was blaming the clones for his failure

And clearly that isn’t your issue

Narrowing of the eyes was a good reaction

(Pretty sure the darkness is Him putting unwonton pressure and guilt tripping (Gas lighting)

He’s just too much of a coward to say anything because he can be held accountable At the fifth thing

Let’s tend to the wounded

Good job reflect ing mate

Whelp

Docter where are you?

Don’t be upset with me master

Geez

Dude does need a break

Even his own lair is toxic

Conversation

Rrgh

Look

Aww

Spare parts

Off

Body guards

Remotely deactivated for a re-charge

Oh so they weren’t killed

Gosh dude came back to A bunch of droids laying dead on the ground Like;

“These.. aren’t. mine,”

Dude is having a tough day

Argh

Not good

Good

Lock down the Perimeter

Good for him

Whelp

Looks, Better

Whelp

Watching

Yeah, those guys are dead from grievous

He wacked them with metal claws

Those guys don’t have a single piercing mark on them

Nor dented helmet

Not ready to take on grievous

No one is

Dude has robotic arms

It’s time we retreated

Make sure to bring something to restrain him next time

Whelp

Grievous isn’t doing anything

Good for him

“ You are not going anywhere,”

Well, he tried

He WAS just given An ultimatum from his boss

Gotta stop caring about those things

“ Guess we’ll have to fight after all,”

Or blow open the door

Or sizzle it open with your light sticks

Lots of options

Bring scout

Aight

Whelp those guys are dead

Also how did they even find them?

Okay, that one makes sense because he was parked literally 5 feet from the base

Fair Game

Get out of there R6

Good for him

Whelp

That one guy...

Whelp...

Yet

Good for him

You told him to leave

Dick

You surprise attack him

Call hypocrite, fair fight

Aaw, he’s nice

Fair

Whelp

Shit

Straight to the point

Doom Man -sion

Here we come

Whelp

Dude with the force can’t lift one guy

Well

General

Dude one trap and you’re ready to call it quits

Lame

We’ve seen the lower levels of your home

No you haven’t

You were on ground level

And you only just saw anything below that now

“ we’re not impressed,”

Dude speak for yourself

Also, fun

Good way to heal

“Good, Good, Jedi,”

This should be entertaining

- way to heal-

“You shall provide sport for me,”

Like; That

Whelp

Good time to entertain our guests

He’s a good host

Whelp

Dude has a dinosaur

And bots

Dude level spiked for a moment

Hmm

Nice

Oof

That sounds painful

Armor Patches

“Contrary to your belief I have other things to do,”

Good for him

He rans a med channel

“ go see to it my repair,”

Implaments (?)

*Impale Ments

There may be some discomfort

But I’m pretty sure he was already uncomfortable

Argh

No sedatives

Off

Weak link

Whelp

Surprised his pistol did anything

Like seriously even the swords would take a few whacks

There we go stabbing it with a sword

Your knight instinct

Whelp

And that clown just became the damsel

Whelp

Fail

Guess he’s dead

Or broke something

Splat noises are kind of humorous

So it could just be a broken nose

Great

Whelp

Instinct

Grievous is going to pay for this

Dude he made a humorous “Splat” sound

“Splat” is not a death sound

It is a broken nose sound

“Destroy him,”

I understand your pain

No, this is the time to take the kid away from the bad situation

(Or actually give him the don’t kill things talk)

That’s the better option

(Since he is still an adult and can make his decision)

“ but you forget your teachings Nadar,”

Not like that

That is how you get hit in the face

But in this war strength prevails

He literally does have a point

You two survived because of “superior genetics”

You’ve literally been hustling him since day one

And revenge is fine in terms of accountability

If someone stabs you, You’re allowed to stab him back

Abusers? Get their abuse back

Specifically in Murder

The dead isn’t alive to take revenge

And while he is right that accountability is better

That murder doesn’t equal murder

Because of the belief That all (human) Sentient life Inherently makes the world better By the possibility of them contributing good

Which is why I advocate accountability

The way dude is handling it is shitty

Firstly; all those present to the body are considered enablers, if they enable murder

And everyone who sees the body has to be on high alert

And accountability on sight

Because if you five rules A Murder -er...

Point being dude should. shut the fuck up and help him find this dude

The rules have changed

Yes, yes they have

“ perhaps you are the one that has changed,”

Shut up toxic

Dick

Enabling selfish dick

“ come now,”

He realized he fucked up

“ We need to move now,”

There’s no saving that

Whelp

Skipped past that

Looks better

“Gor,”

He named it

Where are they

Yeah wait what happened with the doors?

“Gor...”

Aww He sounds so sad

Argh

Oof

That pissed him off

Incoming message from Count Dooku

Oh, Good

The Jedi have infiltrated your Lair

Damn

He really didn’t tell the man about anything

Your recent defeats at their hands

Wow, Dude can Literally not get a break

You just called him five minutes ago

Fuck you

He looks so Tired

And Done

“Reassess your effectiveness,”

Oh that’s bound to piss him off

That you actively did that

I’m expecting a face Heel turn

“You”

There we go

“ you deactivated my Guards,”

Oh....

[I assumed he just forgot]

“ You let the Jedi in,”

No actually they found a magic brick

Unless Count Dooku just so happen to press the button at the same time

Which if so nice

Makes dude’s overconfidence even sweeter

“ so you would testing me,”

Dick

And he’s starting to look It

Oops

He’s pissed now

Like I know this is culminating in a fight scene

But I would just love if just walked downstairs. And was like yes I will go with you

Out of Spite

“ i’ll play your little game,”

In your condition you need your rest

I will rest when the Jedi are dead

Oh so that’s how they capture him

Maybe after he kills the young one

Sentry

Those robots do nothing

Whelp

Control Room

He’s Done

Oh, what do we have here?

Oh, this is what he does?

Master the Jedi are about to enter the control room

Snarky little shit

“Nadar, get inside,”

Yeah, No

Ahh

Nadar

Cutting out the abuser

Whelp

Absolutely can kick ass

Surprised no one who understands accountability

“Greetings young Jedi,”

Greetings Boomer

“How Ex citing,”

Neat

And Meta

Defeat us all

You’re one person but I accept the understanding

Get him Master

Oh he gets to see his apprentice die on the big screen

Wait, where is the other Jedi

Where-

Oh no

Self-awareness

Oww

But that wouldn’t kill a determined

Whelp he accepted death

“No,”

Yep, he’d rather die than live in the world you made

Enabler

(Technically; Both of you)

Welp I will kill you all

Do you hear me Jedi

Do you hear me

Fair game

Enablers kill enablers

No one wins

“ R6 is that you?”

How?!

Meet me at the south landing platform

I’m coming for you next Fisto

Whelp, i’ll be gone by the time you get here

Dick

Whelp

R6, I’m at the platform

Going somewhere

How?!

But also OK

Whelp

Hmm

Fan Technique should actually help in the fog

Whelp

Pawn In Dooku’s game

That power will only consume you

Like you

Flaunting it

Right now

Unless his battery gives out...

Whelp

Cheating

How quickly power can switch hands

Whelp Enabled

Expect ed

Accom plishment

So there’s room improvement

Oof

“His heart was in the right place,”

Not accountability

“ to answer power with power It’s not the Jedi way,”

HAHAHaHa

What’s the title of this again?

Star WARS The Clone WARS

It takes two to tango

Feckin hypocrites

In this WAR

HAHAha

“ A danger there Is,”

I feel bad for the voice actor that had to say that with a straight face

Nailed it perfectly well

“Oof losing who we are,”

Oh, that scene

Chills.

I REALLY liked this episode

It was funny self-aware and even had some good moments with the villains

Also

They killed a motherfucking dragon

*Named Gore

* excuse language

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