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#i fell asleep sounds like such a bad excuse but i swear thats what happened
uriekukistan · 4 months
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Got one for you: top 5 writing pet peeves?
THANK U FOR THE ASK I MEANT TO ANSWER THIS LIKE TWO DAYS AGO BUT I FELL ASLEEP SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG
okay top5 for myself
the word “shrugged”: i swear my characters shrug more in one chapter than i have in my entire life, but i cant seem to get away from the word…although when i put my work into this thing that counts word recurrence, it never makes the top 10, i still feel like i overuse it sm
proofreading: i hate hate hate proofreading….like reading my own writing is just frustrating to me, especially bc i actually write way in advance of when i actually publish it, so things i may have thought were good a month and a half ago i usually end up hating by the time i actually publish them…idk i think a lot of creators are their worst critics, im sure there’s not as much actually wrong w my stuff as i think
mixing action with dialogue: i dont even mind this much when im reading, but seeing a huge section of just dialogue in my own writing has me foaming at the mouth…and i have a hard time visualizing things so it takes me so long to add realistic actions in between certain lines, otherwise i feel like the scene flows weird if i dont do this…
figurative or overly descriptive language: no one has ever said anything bad abt this so i’m not sure why it but i always worry that parts of my writing will come off pretentious? like i’ll write it and be like “wow i cooked” and then i’ll read it back and be like “who tf do u think u are to be writing like that”
writing environment: i swear i need everything just so to be able to write efficiently, its so annoying. perfect caffeination level (not enough = no brain, too much = can’t focus), perfect playlist, comfy clothes and comfy seating position, not hungry but not full etc etc. i can still write without these things but it ends up being slow af. so annoying
top5 for reading others’ writing (ghhhh hope this doesnt come out mean)
poorly formatted dialogue: genuinely if i see dialogue lumped in with paragraphs of text I CLICK OUT im not reading that i’m sorry. it’s a visual thing like it’s overwhelming to read and makes the story flow weirdly, like pleasseeedseese put your dialogue on a new line
UNDERuse of the word “said”: ik this is contrary to most writing advice, but it bothers me fr when ppl go out of their way to avoid words like “said” “asked” “replied”…like sometimes they’re genuinely the best words for the situation, or the synonym that gets used is just not appropriate. when you get into more specific words like that it’s gotta fit well. i’m a big advocate for using modifiers rather than synonyms, like “whispered” “said softly” “said, a hint of softness creeping into their voice” are all different. anyway i hate when im reading and someone uses a synonym for “said” that doesn’t fit the situation
over reliance on physical description for characters: again like the synonyms- time and place. maybe it’s just me, it just feels kinda depersonalizing if youre constantly using physical descriptions when they aren’t relevant, especially in romance. ex: in dancing with a stranger, megumi notices yuuji’s muscles bc he purposely flexes, or the way his eyes catch the sun as part of the “view” on a sunny day, but the rest of they time, he’s thinking of yuuji as kind, warm, talented, etc. it just makes characters feel shallow, and especially in romance, makes the relationship feel shallow. if all megumi noticed about yuuji were his big muscles and loserboy puppy eyes, it kinda cuts the meaning and intimacy from the relationship. also noah fence but it also comes off as kinda lazy characterization
im a liar i cant come up 5 for this i already feel mean for saying what i said 💀 thank u again for the ask !!!! sorry for rambling so much skdjdk
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 6
a/n: DKFJSLDKFSJ OMG YOU GUYS IVE LTR BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG AACCKKK!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, omg im screeching bc BAHAHAHA THERE IS GOING TO BE A SLIGHT PLOT TWIST YOU GUYS!!!!!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- Ever since yn got lost during a trip to another school, the team made the rule that she has to hold one of their hands. Its probably so small compared against the boys. She got lost cause babie saw a cat
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SKDLFJLSDKFJ EWWWWWWWW IM SCREECHING IN DISGUST RIGHT NOW LIKE THATS SO DIS COS TANG OIKAWA TOORU LIKE LEAVE MY GUY ALONE!!!!!!! #LETMAKKILIVE
lmao yep this is really happening
okay so anyways
you guys know how seijoh is like known around the prefecture right?
and we all know that nekomata and old ukai are like besties so they were talking over the phone right
and nekomata was complaining that his players were already fed up with playing against the same people and they wanted to be challenged and wanted new exposure to other players and all that jazz
old ukai was cackling at the other side bc haha youre actually begging me to find you new teams now?
but anyways
theyre like besties forever so ofc old ukai would help
and by help, he turned to poor zaddy keishin and told him to look for teams that could be sent up to tokyo and play against nekoma
‘what?! im already busy and i dont have time to scout-’
‘YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE BOY! I CREATED YOUR FATHER AND WITHOUT HIM, YOU WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY!’
‘BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WANTED TO BE ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!’
family goals 😍😍😍
but keishin still listened to his grandfather and recommended seijoh as being the one to go as they are one of the hardest to beat opponents in the preferecture
but its more like he wants to hear about nekoma being destroyed by oikawa’s service aces and grovel at their feet since naoi always made fun of them saying country boys arent as good as city boys
LIKE PLEASE
anyways!!!!!!
nekomata got word of it and immediately phoned aoba johsai and talked to the coach 
‘yes, i heard from an old friend of mine that you are quite strong’
nekomata praised, wanting and desperate to have them come up
‘and do you think your team is good enough to beat us?’
LMAO YESSSS GRANDPA IRIHATA!!! DRAG THEM KITTIES!!!!
WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS WRONG
but they settled on their disagreements and decided yep they were going to go up there and have a practice match
however
irihata and nekomata wanted their boys to be kept in the dark about who this team is as knowing them, they have sources to find them tapes of old plays
they wanted it to be a fair match
even the managers were being kept from it as they could easily be influenced by the players for that information
irihata walked into the gym and announced a team meeting to which they stopped
you sat down next to kyotani, who pulled you beside him and wrapped a protective arm around your waist
‘we have a practice match against a prominent team up in tokyo in 3 days. make sure you have your plays right and pat down as they are known to be quite an opponent’
the boys shouted a determined cheer and they all hussled back to practice
you were running around, tending to everyone with towels or medical tape
once you finally sat back down on the bench, you noticed your phone screen light up, indicating someone sent you a message
it was natsu
you swiped open and smiled softly at his picture
it a selfie of him in front of his school as you told him to send you a picture that he arrived safely
‘got here in one piece since im not ready to meet daddy satan yet’
i hate him you guys
after receiving news of his mother gaining custody of him, he cheered and was able to go back to tokyo without his father in the picture
lets just say,,, hes not nice
anyways
you were sad to let him go but you understood he missed his friends and his almost-boyfriend so you were able to say goodbye easily at the station
‘gross but im pretty sure katsuki would blow satan to smithereens’
‘hehe ;) he would’
‘N A S T Y’
you cringed but giggled and the team noticed so they tried hard to gain your attention back on them
‘aaa!!!!! y/n-chan!!! my leg!!!!’
‘i think i chopped off my finger!!!!’
‘my head snapped off my body!!!!!’
you rolled your eyes and placed your phone down before walking over to mattsun to help him snap his head back on his neck
finally, it was the day of the match
you were arranged to stay the night at tokyo to have a few practice matches with this unknown team
the team was arranged to meet at the train station at 9:45 since the train leaves at 10 
you arrived the earliest to keep track of everyone and just because you were actually kinda excited
theres this weird feeling in your stomach that isn’t exactly bad but its,,, giddy
you sat on the bench, waiting for the team 
they all started arriving one by one and you were doing a headcount for everyone but you were missing one
you checked your phone and you noticed he was getting late
it was already 9:54
you hate it when people are late to meeting time so you were slightly irritated
you dialed up your captain’s number and you stood up, pacing around
‘hello~~~~ y/n-cha-’
‘oikawa-san! do you know what time it is?! you were arranged to come here at specifically 9:45 but its 14 minutes passed that so where the hell are you? you better have a good excuse you piece of-’
‘aww y/n-chan oikawa-san is sorry’
someone whispered in your ear from behind and you flinched, surprised at the sudden person
oikawa wrapped an arm around your waist while his other hung up the call and you turned around, arms crossed while pouting at him
‘sorrysorrysorry!’
he apologized and you rolled your eyes
‘i swear, oikawa-san. if i find out it was because of your hair again-’
‘oi shittykawa! your sister just called me and you left the curling iron on, you stupid bastard!’
iwaizumi’s shout made oikawa sweat and pale 
your eyes glinted dangerously 
‘this is the last straw, oikawa-san’
you growled and he shot down to his knees and was about to start praying to you when the coach decided he had enough entertainment for the day and called everyone to gather around
‘heres your tickets. this train will get us there around lunch time so dont worry about getting hungry’
the shinkansen train had 2-person seating so everyone fought secretly amongst each other to sit next to you
literally, their private group chat was blowing up until early this morning at the shouts and yells of everyone caps locking their arguments as to why they deserve to sit next to you
the only one who didnt was mattsukawa issei
bc quite frankly, he didnt care who he sat next to and although it sounds nice to be next to you, he isnt exactly the comfiest to sleep on due to the obvious size difference
lmao like your head probably wouldnt reach his shoulders bruh
now youre not oblivious
or blind
so you noticed the glares of everyone as you all stood for the train to come
and you also noticed mattsun just standing there, bored, so you sneaked over to him, wrapping your arms around him
‘arent you excited, mattsun-san?’
he gasped quietly at your sudden appearance but he smirked
‘its nothing special. just another team that we’re going to beat’
you giggled at his confidence and you walked in front of him so you could properly be held by him
it was practically second nature now by the way he just opened his arms and you crashed into them, his own wrapping around your shoulders to hold you tight
‘i love your confidence so much mattsun-san’
he flushed red and furrowed his eyebrows, head turning to the side to hide the obvious effect you had on him
‘whats the point of playing when you cant be confident’
‘aaaa why are you looking away mattsun-san!!!’
lmao when the team saw you sitting next to mattsun, they all felt so betrayed like bruh
ltr kyo and iwa were about to go feral
oikawa was like ready to screech his ass off but one look from you made him shut up
‘i sincerely, really, truly hope youre just complaining about the seat hurting your flat ass, oikawa-san’
KDFJLSDKFJSDL Y/N NO STOP IT
it was kinda funny actually bc everyone was all pouting and sulky while you just have mattsun who’s smirking like ‘beat that’
SDKFJLSDKF I LOVE MATTSUN’S SMIRK LIKE PLEASE OMG
ofc he let you sit at the window bc you love window seats
like iwa, he also pulls up the arm barrier thingy and you shuffle closer to him and mattsun practically combusts
the ride isnt expected to be very long but you still found yourself sleeping during it
mattsun has his arm around your shoulder while your head is leaning against his peck man boobie 
omg its so cute like he actually slides lower on the seat to help you reach his shoulder and hes slouching and back is hurting just for you
;’)
he was awake the whole time bc he couldnt sleep with his heart beating so hard it might rip out of his chest
ew thats kinda gorey
your hand was gripping his own and to pass time, he found himself fiddling with your fingers 
an unknown smile appeared on his face at the obvious size difference between yours and his
a finger traced different and foreign shapes just to feel the softness of your hand and he combusts again when you unconsciously squeeze his hand
mattsun couldnt help but bring your linked hands up and kiss the back of yours
it was soft, gentle, and his lips lingered there for more than a second
then a sudden feeling of fatigue washed over him and he leaned his cheek against the top of your head 
the last thing he remembers is the smell of your f/s (favorite smell) shampoo
then you guys arrived in tokyo
irihata had to personally wake you all up because even naoi fell asleep and everyone fell asleep
irihata gently shook mattsun awake and when the boy opened his eyes, the older man nodded over to your form
‘gently wake her up’
as if mattsun didnt already know
thats why he softly ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek that was exposed to the air
‘y/n~~’
he coos and your nose twitches, in between the border of dreams and reality
‘darling, wake up, baby bear’
FSDKLFJSDLKSDJKFJDSKLFJSDLFKSJDLF YOU GUYS I CANNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also im listening to kataomoi by aimer  so that kinda influences the ‘darling
his deep voice that surprisingly reaches a level of quietness made your eyes flutter
your whole face scrunched at suddenly being woken up but the sight of mattsun’s genuine smile made you mirror it and cuddle closer for an extra dose of warmth
‘hmm, is my baby tired?’
he teasingly whispers and you nodded, snuggling even further and he gently cups your face
his hold had made your cheeks squeeze slightly together and your pout increased the cute factor 
‘nwoooo dont skweeze demmm’
you slurred and he chuckled
‘hai hai’
‘kwiss it better’
you demanded and he full on laughed before moving his hands to your jaws so he could plant many kisses on your cheeks
the repeated kisses tickled so you giggled and squirmed
‘aaaaaa mattsun-san it tickles!!!’
your playful protests forced him to stop and allow you to actually sit up
as usual, your hair was a bird’s nest and mattsun attempted to settle it out
‘hah, y/n-chan your hair is like another being itself’
he choked out and you pouted at him
‘so mean! mattsun-san is so mean! baba-san! rescue me!!’
yahaba was known in the team to be the one who fixed your hair and you trusted him the most with it
hearing his name being called, the pretty boy dashed towards you and mattsun’s seats
‘is senpai giving you trouble again? come, honey, come to baba-san’
mattsun gave him a look for the younger’s passive agressive tone
oikawa immediately dashed over right next to yahaba
‘oh? y/n-chan! oikawa-san is here!!’
iwa and kyo growled
‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA!’
meanwhile irihata and naoi were just done
they just wanted to get off the train like is that such a big favor?
finally!!!!
seijoh was able to actually make it to the city and ngl, despite living in sendai, you were actually overwhelmed by the bustling city of tokyo
there were people all over the place and many cars and you were being pushed around
it didnt help that it was ltr lunch hour and a flurry of business people just flooded out of their buildings
you unconsciously gripped your bag and focused on just not tripping over people so your eyes were trained on your feet 
then in the corner of your eye, you saw a tiny animal that was in danger of being stepped on so you ofc had to go chase after it
you shouted at some people to watch out and to not step on it
but then it disappeared
the moment you looked up, everyone was gone
you panicked and your head was turning from side to side
‘MATTSUN-SAN?! IWA-SAN?! KYO-SAN?!’
you shouted but it seems your voice wasnt loud enough
GIRL YOU GOTTA MANIFEST THAT BULLHORN VOICE
worry and dread bubbled inside of you but you stopped, just trying to calm down and think
then you saw the flash of white again so you hurriedly ran after it, not knowing that you were straying away from the city and towards the suburbs
you noticed you were now lost at the less amount of feet walking and this wasnt the city and you were now away from the team
taking yoru eyes off of the cat, you looked around to confirm your fear and that gave the cat an opportunity to disappear again
yoo crookshanks
huffing a curse, you pulled your phone out of your bag and dialed each 
your phone wasnt reaching the boys and no one was picking up
what the heck
you ended up at some quieter and less crowded spot 
like a neighborhood
you contemplated calling natsu as he lived in tokyo but tokyo was a big city and you were at some neighborhood so its highly unlikely he would know where you are
so you just walked around, looking for a place to sit and think like a park
then you heard a distressed meow
you were just walking and hearing that loud cry of help made you stop and immediately follow the sound
‘kitty? kitty?’
you called out even though you knew fully well they didnt understand you
but the cat cried even louder and you heard another cat
it was less higher pitched and honestly, you just felt like there was another cat
as you looked around, you saw the same cat you followed after and it bobbed its head at you as if asking you to follow him
‘you want me to go with you?’
the cat blinked then turned around and started walking
‘okay then’
you took the time to inspect the actual color of the cat
it was dominantly white furred but it had multiple colored spots, mainly yellow and brown
you eventually ended up at a large tree with a cat shivering on the biggest branch
it was black and had some fur sticking out at the top of its head and it looked young so its probably a kitten
you tutted and reached out your hand but it recoiled, hissing at you
BOI SHE TRYING TO HELP YOU WHAT
‘hey, i want to help you’
you softly said and maybe youre just doctor dolittle? 
bc it stopped hissing and started whining instead
‘kenma-san! i swear i saw it just now-’
a sudden foreign voice made the black haired cat hiss again and this time, even you were counted as a threat
the appearance by the corner of two boys made you glare at them
one was freakishly tall with grey hair and scary green eyes while the other was shorter and had bleached hair that grew out
they both wore running shorts and black shirts and they looked like they were on a run or something
then you had a thought
this guy was tall
he could help
‘hey! you!’
you waved and the boys stopped, eyes wide
they pointed to themselves and you nodded
‘yes, silly! especially the tall one!’
the other had a flash of a glare that disappeared almost immediately but the ‘tall one’ happily skipped over
‘oho, hello chibi-chan’
KDFJSLDFKSDJLFDKSJ YES IM CONDENSCENDING
you puffed your cheeks out in anger at the nickname but this was not the time
‘that kitty up there is stuck. and i cant help it because its scared. and its all the way up there’
you pointed and he nodded
‘i followed that cat here too but i needed someone else. thats why i brought kenma-san’
your eyes shifted to ‘kenma-san’ who was focused on the other cat who also stared back at his spot by the tree
hmmm, they look kinda similar
‘well! we need to help it,,,,,, grandpa-san!’
taken aback by the nickname, the tall guy gasped while the blonde boy choked out a sudden laugh and you giggled
‘GRANDPA?!’
‘yea. you know cus you have gray hair’
you reasoned and he was about to retort when he stopped himself
‘no. we have more important matters in hand. kenma-san, come stand on my shoulders. chibi, use my jacket to catch it if it falls’
you scrambled to do your task but you heard kenma-san mumble
‘you cant tell me what to do’
‘oh hey! whats your name?’
you asked and the tall guy waved
‘im lev. haiba lev. first year’
‘kozume,,, kenma. im a second year’
‘oh! then nice to meet you! im l/n y/n!’
introductions had to be cut short as you all assembled
kenma wobbled while lev cringed at the obvious pain but they gritted their teeth and kenma lunged to grab the cat 
but the cat jumped away, falling to the ground where it was caught safely by you
thankfully the jacket saved you from scratching but after a few soft whispers of reassurance, the kitty calmed down and it resulted in just shaking
‘its okay. we’re okay. i got you’
you were completely oblivious to the fact that kenma and lev were on the ground, bleeding after falling, or the shout at the distance
‘kenma! lev!’
‘Y/N-CHAN!’
you three turned to see two groups of boys coming from two directions
on the right had a guy with black hair similar looking to the cat on your arms 
while the left had your familiar looking captain
‘oikawa-san!’
you shouted and he ran up, eyes wide with worry
‘where were you?! why did you run off?! you shouldn’t-’
he rambled but your eyes stopped at the appearance of your familiar pink-haired cousin
‘natsu?!’
you shrieked and he had an equally surprised expression
‘y/n?!’
he shouted 
‘what-!’
he started but you beat him to it
‘why are you here?!��
you pointed to the people behind him
‘im,,, a manager. im a manager for my volleyball team’
‘volleyball,,,’
you trailed off
‘VOLLEYBALL?! NEKOMA?!’
you knew of your cousin’s school but you didnt think you guys would meet here
‘shes your cousin?’
someone piped up from the back and natsu nodded, still looking at you
‘oya? the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, then. hello gorgeous, the names kuroo tetsurou’
KSLDFJDSK I HATE THIS LIKE PLEASE HES JUST A NERD YET I WRITE HIM LIKE THIS I HATE MYSELF
‘HAH?! YOU BACK OFF!’
kyotani started but you caught him in time, holding him in your arms
‘nooo,, calm down, kyo-san’
natsu’s nose crinkled and his mouth curled
‘ugh, nice to see you too, brat’
‘BRAT?! YOU BASTARD!’
‘IM A THIRD YEAR, YOU BASTARD!’
kyotani was held back by oikawa and iwa while your cousin was with that kuroo guy and lev
you hurried back to the rest of the team and they each glared at you but they had an obvious expression of relief
‘do that again y/n-’
‘i know, makki-san. youll use a leash backpack’
lets just say its not,,, the first time youve been lost
‘new team rule. youre holding someone’s hand at all times. no matter what, always hold us’
yahaba scolded and watari nodded
meanwhile, mattsun grabbed your hand and gripped it tight
‘youre never leaving my sight again’
his tone was different from his usual playful and teasing voice 
you knew he was very worried and that made you feel really guilty
‘im sorry’
you whispered and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly
‘its okay. youre here right now and thats all that matters’
you nodded and you turned your head, leaning on his chest to watch oikawa yelling and shouting at this kuroo guy while your cousin and kyo were arguing and you chuckled
this was,,, chaos
‘dear god, you shouldve let me be lost for a few more hours’
you mumbled, smiling lightly when mattsun’s chest vibrated as he laughed
‘take me with you next time’
‘i will’
you hummed
‘Y/N-CHAN! YOU ARE NOT GOING NEAR THIS-THIS MONGREL!’
oikawa screeched, stomping his way over to you
you smirked
‘oi kuroo-san! lets hang out after the match!’
oikawa screamed
a/n: now that my nekoma manager is out, i can finally have a manager x manager interaction and uwuwuwuwu just wait until i finish the others and ill do that req anon sent in ;) if you sent it in, you know what im talking about ;)
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Can’t Fight This Feeling
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-12-
Once everyone came down from the shock of everything we started talking. Trying to think of something, anything, to get us out of the position we were in.
But..it was almost midnight and Dustin and Erica started showing their exhaustion. Erica fell asleep first with Dustin going about ten minutes later. Robin pushed through a little longer but she fell asleep leaning against one of the walls.
I was past the point of exhaustion and had new energy. I sighed and leaned against some of the boxes, trying in vain to relax.
A few feet away sat Steve, running a hand through his hair.
"Well?" I asked him.
He looked back at me questioningly, "Well?" he echoed.
"What are we going to do?" I asked.
He sighed, "I have no idea, I mean, none of the buttons work and we can't climb out...I have no idea."
I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, "The walkie talkie?" I wondered.
He hummed, "Maybe, but there's no point now since it's so late. Doubtful anyone would even hear it."
I bit my lip, "So we're just...stuck."
I heard him shuffling so I looked over to him and sat that he moved to sit right in front of me, our legs just a few inches away from each other.
"For now," he stated, "we're gonna get out of here...it just won't be through the elevator right now. When the doors open-"
"We'll have to fight," I finished simply.
He grinned at me, "Or be sneaky and get out," he raised his brows.
"Or be sneaky," I agreed, "how would we do that though?"
He sighed, "I'm not sure," he admitted, "that's the problem...it might have to be an on the move kinda plan that we can't plan for."
I knew he was right. We didn't know what was behind the doors. We didn't know what we were going to have to do. We wouldn't know what to do until the last possible second.
"Shit," I whispered.
"Hey," Steve softly said, causing my eyes to flash to him, "I was serious when I said I wouldn't let anything happen to Dustin, you know?"
I smiled back cautiously, "I know."
He cleared his throat, "That extends to you too, okay? I won't let anything happen to either of you...Robin and Erica too, obviously," he added, "I swear it."
"Thanks Steve," I told him.
Steve stretched his legs out in front of him, which put them next to my legs, "You happy to be almost done with school?" he questioned.
I sighed straightening my legs out too. It clicked in my head in an instant. Could this be the moment where I got all my feelings about King Steve off my chest? So that maybe every time I looked at Steve I wouldn't have this subconscious fear of whatever he was thinking about? Could this be the moment I, finally, stand up for myself the way I should've against them for years?
I cleared my throat and looked away from him, "Yeah, this is finally gonna be a good year I think, so I'm more looking forward to that."
"Finally?" he asked, puzzled.
I let my eyes ghost over him for a second before looking down at my lap, "Yeah...now that some certain kids are gone, I might actually have a pleasant school year."
I took a peak up at him and say his eyes watching me intently, "Who?"
Just as quickly as my semi bravery came, it was gone. I realized I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything. 
I looked down once again, "Tommy and Carole mostly...but um," I bit my lip, wishing I could backtrack and not say anything else, but I was too far gone, "you were there for one big one."
"What?" he blurted, shocked.
I took a breath and looked up at him, seeing the sadness already evident on his face, "When Tommy told me you had a crush on me? Then you laughed and told him how messed up that was. You also called me Lisa so..."
He sighed deeply and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, "Shit," he whispered quietly, "I honestly don't remember that...but yeah that sounds like something douchy Steve would be involved in," Steve lamented, as I watched his body semi deflate as this realization.
I shrugged my shoulders gently, "You definitely were."
He ran a hand through his hair before bringing his knees up to his chest, "That's not...me anymore, Lou," he expressed, wrapping his arms around his knees.
I shot him a small smile, "So I've been told," I told him before sighing heavily, "Steve I don't-I dont necessarily think thats you anymore either...but that was just such a shitty thing, and I really wanted to get it off my chest."
He let his legs stretch out once more and his mouth fell open, "Is that...is that why you hadn't really talked to me when I started hanging around with Dustin? Or why you seemed a bit standoff-ish at the beginning of all this?" he wondered watching for my reaction.
I looked away from him as I nodded slowly.
"Lou," he breathed, I looked back to him and saw the regret in his eyes, he looked so sad, "I'm really sorry...about all of that," he told me earnestly, fidgeting with the hem of his scoops ahoy shirt.
I smiled a little and looked away from him, "Thanks."
"Please don't...accept the apology unless you...really accept it. I was a true asshole in school, and I just-shit," he said, looking up to the ceiling, "I know how much of a jerk I was to a lot of people, Lou. You included, same with Jonathan and probably Robin too."
"Steve," I began, "Steve, please look at me," I pleaded.
He took a second but he finally lowered his head and made eye contact with me.
"I know that...that was all high school shit and maybe it was to save face with Tommy H and Carole...regardless, yeah you kinda sucked in high school," I rambled, trying to get to my point, "but that doesn't seem like you now. And I wasn't bringing this up to make you feel bad or to upset or hurt you...it's just been something that's been weighing on me for so long, then we're thrown into this madness together. I just wanted to get this off of me so that I coukd start dealing with it instead of bottling it up."
"Trust me, I'm happy you brought it up," he told me, "I don't want you to have this version of me in your head anymore. The shit I did to a lot of people was-it was really messed up. I can't change it, but I can try and change the way you think of me going forward."
"I appreciate that a lot, Steve, really I do," I admitted, "we really don't have to keep talking about this...it's been said so we can just...continue onwards."
"Just before we move forward or whatever, I just...shit," he sighed running both hands through his hair before looking back to me with an intensity I hadnt seen before from him, "I will never intentionally hurt you, Louise. Seriously, I-I was a jerk back then, not that that's an excuse, but that's the truth. And I'm so sorry you've carried that around with you all this time, it should have never happened. I'm just...so sorry. Really, really from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry."
I was taken aback a bit because of his response to this. I never once thought he would react to this the way he did. With absolute sincerity and honesty and admitting how much of a jerk he was. I couldnt believe it.
"Thank-you, Steve," I said, breathlessly, "that means a lot to me."
He grinned sadly at me briefly before his eyes looked downcast. I looked away from him to give him his space after all of that. He finally spoke up after a few minutes.
"So I mean...have you started looking at colleges yet?" he asked quietly.
I smiled over at him, "A few...I think im gonna stay local though, be close to mom and Dust...especially knowing all this now, I'll wanna be as close as I can be," I chuckled.
"What about you? Where are you headed this year?" I asked him.
"To Scoops Ahoy," he answered automatically.
I squinted, "Oh...so no college?"
He cleared his throat, "No...I figured that I'd take a year off and work, you know, learn the value of earning and all that shit. Then figure out what I wanna do."
"That's smart, Steve," I smiled.
He shook his head with a small smile, "Honestly I just wanted to see if my story was as believable to people as I wanted it to be. Truthfully, I didn't get into any school that I wanted and my dad said I needed to get a job...and that's the scoops ahoy story."
I immediately felt bad for him, "I'm really sorry, Steve."
He shrugged, "Hey...that's life I guess. I proved my dad right that I wouldn't amount to anything other than working for him so...I mean, you heard what he said...I'm his biggest disappointment," he mumbled.
"What do you want to do?"
"What?"
"What do you want to be when you're older?"
He scratched his head, "Oh...I dont know, I guess. I've never really thought of it too much.  What about you?"
"I want to be an accountant, I've done my moms taxes for the last few years just for fun before she gave them to the actual accountant and I've always been right. I like numbers and stuff," I explained, feeling self conscious that he would think I'm a nerd or something.
"That's a good one," he nodded with a smile, "you're really smart, Lou. You could literally do anything, I think."
My face flushed at his words, "Thanks," I said softly.
He hesitated with a thoughtful expression, "Maybe a teacher," he finally said, "I like hanging out with your brother and the other kids in the party for the most part...I like imparting my wisdom on them and helping them out...yeah...a teacher sounds good," he said with a very faint smile, but the smile was gone in an instant.
"But no school will take me for that...my grades were shit, no one would want me teaching their kids," he declared with an eye roll before looking to the wall.
I put my hand on his knee and shook it to get him to look at me, "Go and talk to the principle or something...maybe they can help out somehow? Taking night classes or something so you can bring your grades up?"
"Yeah that'd look good, Steve Harrington returns to Hawkins High because he got rejected from every school he applied to," he said sarcastically.
I scoffed, "No, it would look like, Steve Harrington returns to school to work towards a better life for himself."
"I'd probably flunk those classes too," he said dejected.
I scooted up so we were closer to each other, and took his hand in mine, looking right in his eyes, "Steve...you've gotta have faith in yourself. If you don't wanna work for your dad then don't work for him. If you don't want to turn out like him, then don't. Nothing is stopping you. You're young, Steve, you can make something of yourself. And you're smart-"
"Not really-"
"Yes you are! You can acknowledge things that you did wrong in the past, you helped with the plan for getting in here, and you're gonna help get us out! I dont know who's been telling you that you're not smart, but they're wrong. Just put your mind to something, Steve, and you'll get whatever it is that you want," I squeezed his hand as I spoke.
He sent me a small smile, "You should re think your career choice and become a motivational speaker."
I laughed quietly, "I'll think about it."
"But seriously, thank you for that...that huh...yeah that means a lot to have someone say that," he explained, putting his other hand over ours.
"No problem," I smiled, "and I'll help you too, Steve. Picking classes, with homework, studying, I'd be happy to help."
"Thank-you," he murmured.
I smiled at him before sliding myself back against the wall, letting his hand go gently in the process.
"So...when the door opens..."
"I'm telling you, I can take them on," he told me, "whoever is on the other side, I'll take them out!" he joked.
I laughed quietly, "I'm sure you will," I said through a yawn.
"Get some sleep, Lou," he told me gently, patting my knee.
I hummed and leaned my head against the wall, "You have too, to."
"I will," he promised.
I sighed, "Close your eyes too, Steve," I said as my eyelids closed by themselves.
"I will, Lou, I swear," he reassured me, with his hand still on my knee.
"Night, Steve," I whispered wearily.
"Night, Louise," he whispered soothingly back to me.
——
Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner
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hxnjisxng · 6 years
Text
Snowdrops || Han Jisung || The Language of the Flowers AU ||
So idk i haven’t written in a really long time but i’m really excited for this so !! This is also my first time ever writing bullet thingie so,, yeah,,, not all of these will be in the bullet format I just felt like trying out smth new !! and to stay true to my ult Han Jisung i will write about him first. In this like,,, kinda cute little series thing. Every theme will kinda just relate to the flower meaning so,,, yeet !! Also, s/o to my one and only bub @chenle who told me to tag her when my first official writing thing happened so here !!!
Genre: Bad Boy!Jisung x Piano Player!Reader au; bulleted scenario  
Warnings: none !!
Word Count: 3.2k 
| Jisung | Minho | Chan | Changbin | Jeongin | Seungmin | Felix | Woojin | Hyunjin |
{picture not mine, credits to owner}
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Snowdrop: (noun) A European flower which bears white flowers and blooms in February/early March, it signifies the end of winter and the coming of spring. Represents hope, purity, warmth, and new beginnings. 
Ever since you were little you’ve known you’ve wanted to be a pianist
It all started when you were younger and you went to see an orchestra with your parents
They 100% expected you to fall asleep in the first,,, like,,, five seconds after you came into the theater
What they did not expect is for you to sit there starry eyed staring at the person playing the piano for a whole 3 hours
They were,,, sister shook,,,,
But they didn’t think much of it, you know, like yeah they just like classical music
You know, as one does
But the second y’all got back into the car that was it
You wouldn’t stop talking about how pretty the music sounded
How much you liked the sound of pressing keys and the sound of the pedal lifting or the sound of the mallets and strings inside of the piano
You loved it
It was as though you had just found your one and only true love, y’all know, the yee to your haw
The ying to your yang
The chris to your weed
Sorry back to the point
You just couldn’t explain it, little four year old you just knew the fluttering feeling in your heart was a good one
So your parents signed you up for piano
They said they would find you the best teacher they could, one that could make you great
So that’s what they did
From a week after that concert, you started piano lessons
And you only fell more in love with the piano as time went on
So, after this little bit of context, flash back to reality 
oop there goes gravity oop
there goes rabbit he chokes
Sorry okay eminem is my calling
So it’s the end of winter, it’s been a really cold and bitter winter, but it’s around the end of february and somehow it just HaS noT gotten any warmer
And here we meet our boy jisung
Our chipmunk, our squirrel, our boi yk
But he’s a little bit of a hooligan
A bad boy if you will
You know, the leather jacket, the messy hair, the snarky attitude, the cocky jokes and the cute smile you knOW and he always always ALWAYS has a lollipop
A pink lemonade lollipop to be exact
It’s his favorite flavour
Any who, he’s one of those guys, the type of guy that almost everyone either wants to be him or with him
He’s also a part of a trio of you know bad boys at your school, the other two being his best buds Chan and Changbin
They call themselves 3RACHA
They’re as tight knit as can be, they do everything together
Skip class, hang out, throw parties
You know all that bAd bOY stUfF
He also has a slight reputation to get into fights every so often
Maybe not only so often
Maybe vERY often
But he’s trying his best okay those people just get on his nerves when they poke fun of one of his friends or his music
“I’m just a little misunderstood, okay I didn’t wanna break his nose it just sometimes happens, you know, my hand just kinda lost control of itself and hit him in the nose really really really hard. I swear.”
“Mr. Han, I distinctly remember you telling him to shove a stick up his, excuse my language, ass, and then proceeding to punch him.”
*them sitting in a perfectly silent office* “hM sorry it just got really loud in here, pardon???” :))))))
Real footage of Jisung last week after breaking some guy’s nose  
He also loves loves LoVES music
Loves all music
Except for classical and country
He’s always despised classical music, it just seemed so boring
There’s no pounding beat
No lyrics to scream along to
He just found everything about it depressing and irritating and just monotone
Well one day, as he was wandering through the school
You know, as one does when their friends were busy doing who knows what during lunch
He stumbled into the music hall
Now this was an accident
He didn’t really want to be here since the only courses your school offered in terms of music were classical ones
And again
Gross
But for some weird, strange, odd-ball, out of this world, sister shook reason
He felt like he needed to be here
That’s when he heard it
tHE hiLLS aRE aLiVE wiTH
The sound of music
Not the kind of music he liked
It was definitely classical music, so y’all, it’s disgusting
‘I should go, the music is starting to make me depressed already’ he mumbled
But his feet wouldn’t move, his body just kinda froze
It felt like something was just pulling him to that room, to that ugly boring nasty music
And it’s not like he’s never listened to classical before, he had, but this time something was weird about it
He still didn’t like it, it all still sounded the same, nothing interesting
But something for some weiRD REASON was telling him to go to that room
Like something was a little different about the way it was being played
‘Maybe,,,, I should just look for a couple seconds and,,,,,,, tell the person to stop playing that boring stuff,,,, or maybe I could just listen for a bit,,, but like obviously no that’s nasty,,,,’
The door was slightly ajar, so the music was just drifting through the air
Just calling him over
Jisung slowly walked up to the door, and peeped through the window
And there you were
You, reader, in all of your piano classical music glory
Sat there playing your heart out to the world
In that moment when he saw you with your hair slightly drifting over your face
Your eyebrows slightly scrunched up in concentration as your hands ran across the keys
His heart was screaming
Literally just like
dabdikajbksbfkajbDNBDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
He almost forgot about the fact he hated classical music if he could just watch you play it all day
Wait,,, what no,,,,
Gross,,,,, the Han Jisung doesn’t like people that easily,,,,,, nuh-uh thats def not him folks
And he got so scared by that feeling
The one inside of his chest
He was scared of how it made his hands feel tingly and it made him feel like he stood up too fast because his head felt so rushed and light
It felt like he was flying, but also crashing down to earth at the same time
And when I say scared
I mean terrified
This boy is mortified of catching feelings
Definitely not because in the third grade the person he liked stomped all over his heart because they wouldn’t give him a cracker,,,,, no who even thOughT tHaT hAHa
Just the thought of him truly giving his whole heart to someone ?? unacceptable
Like in this economy ?? liking someone ?? unreasonable
So he did the only logical thing
He ran away
Far back to the other side of school
And he was so out of it for the rest of the day, he just couldn’t handle it
He even went back to class next period because he was so out of it
“W-welcome Mr. Han take a seat, it’s a pleasure to have you finally join us.”
“mm-hmm”
He didn’t pay attention all day though, his mind was only occupied by you
Cheesy, I know, but it was
Even when he went to hang out with Chan and Changbin
“Bro,,, where were you during lunch ?? you kinda just disappeared”
“I was uhhh,,,, in the library,,,”
“The library ?? are you good ???”
“Yeah,,,,, im fine it’s cool,,,”
“Dude, you alright you seem a little weird.”
“Yeah,,,,,,,,, im just thinking”
Jisung thInKing ??? unheard of
So, this terrified Chan and Changbin because whenever Jisung thinks it’s never good
But it’s been three days since he saw you
And he’s still thinking about you and he’s kinda emo about it
Because, of course, you occupied his thoughts, the song you were playing stuck in his mind on a loop
This is so cheesy please forgive me
It was so bad that he started hearing it everywhere, it even started placing itself into his music and the lyrics he was writing somehow all revolved around love
He’d sit there for hours writing lyrics until he realized all of it in some way tied back to you
It was bothering him
Like a lot
So now it’s been a whole six days, and trust me he’s been counting and he thought he could take it,,, you know not see you,,,
Until he’s had enough
He needed to go see you again otherwise he felt like his head would explode
And it wasn’t because he liked you or anything,,, he just wanted to see you so he wouldn’t write any more music about you,,,,, because this was just SuPeR gRoSS
So he went to the same hall, the same room, the same time, and there he saw you
Still working on the same part of the piece
It was just as beautiful as the first time he heard it and he honestly was in awe of how your hands moved across the piano as though they were as light as air
Anyone even from a million kilometers away could tell you were frustrated with this part
He wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to worry because it was beautiful
He wanted to just go in there and tell you that your playing is amazing and hold your hands and just comfort you
But he just couldn’t say anything
And he could always say something, he never stopped talking
And his heart was still doing the same flippity flop screaming thing in his chest
Big surprise, i know
But then,,,, he had a genius idea,,,, like spectacular,,,, like nobel prize winning idea,,,
“Maybe if i see them all the time,,,,, my heart will get used to it and it won’t flippity flop anymore :’D,,,,,,”
wow ,,,, genius i know you don’t have to tell him
So instead of saying anything, or ignoring you any longer, he decided
I’m just gonna come here and watch them play every day because as long as I see them and never talk to her,,,, eventually whatever weird heart thing i have will go away !!!!!
So that is exactly what he did
Every single day for the next coming three weeks,,, he would disappear during lunch and go and watch you play
Changbin and Chan were getting suspicious but they never asked,,, so Jisung thought he was so slick you know
So it’s been weeks of him doing this
It’s now around the end of February, and he planned on doing smth for Valentines day,,,
Not,, because he liked you or because it was valentines day, but because he just,,, somehow planned to do it for February 14th
He was really counting on his genius 10000+ IQ plan to work
But, surprise surprise, his plan was failing
It was almost as though he liked you APPRECIATED !! your playing even more after seeing you play :))))))
Just seeing you just so cutely hunched over the piano
It made his heart hurt wiTH APPRECIATION FOR YOUR ARTISTRY NOT L O V E
Haha obviously,,,,,, not love,,,,,, who even said that y’all hear summ ????
And he realized maybe he just ReaLLY REALLY reAllY wanted to be your friend !!
Really really close friend !!
And that’s why he wanted to talk to you !! And hold you !! Like F R I E N D S do !! haha !!
And you know this mentality was really working great, until one Thursday
It was near the beginning of March when it was getting a little warmer and all that green good grass was kinda appearing from under the snow,,, these little white flowers peeking out from under the melting snow and it was just so pretty that day
And all Jisung could think about was how beautiful you would look today outside
Holding his hand
In a totally PLATONIC and FRIENDLY way because he obviously just liked you as a friend
And maybe today he would tell you how much he wanted to be your friend :D
But that lunch you just didn’t show up for half an hour ??
He was confused,,,, like really confused
And also concerned ?? where were you,,, you were always here on time,, he even makes sure to show up 5 minutes after your usual arrival time so he could calmly sit outside of the door without getting caught
But today you weren’t there and he was about to leave and chicken out until he felt a hand on his shoulder
‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH’
Istg he jumped like fifty feet in the air
“Hey,, you’re that guy who always sits outside when I practice !!! Han Jisung right ?? Sorry I was late I needed to talk to Mr.Park about a science assignment I have that’s due next week,, ”
Jisung.exe has stopped working
First of all,,,
yoU kNeW ?!?!?! and he thought he was so slick
Not only that you knew his nAMe and apologized for being late ??? did you like ??? cARE ABOUT HIM A LITTLE BIT
And he also just,,, kinda loved the way you just said his name
It made him UwU in ways he didn’t understand
In a friENDLY WAY
Oh who was he lying to at this point
Maybe he did like you just a LITTLE more than like a friend would like a friend  
so what,,, sue him,,,, 
He was so caught up in the million and five thoughts that were racing through his mind that he almost forgot to respond, so he managed to choke out the following charming and very expressive line:
“U-uh you know my name ???”
,,,,,good one Jisung,,, real smooth,,,,
You let out a light giggle and just kinda looked at him with this really soft expression
“Ofc I knew !!! I heard your foot tapping every single day and you also sat in front of an open door so,,, I kinda saw you the first day,,,”
SORRY NOT ONLY HAS JISUNG.EXE STOPPED WORKING HE JUST CRASHED ??? LIKE EXPLODED
Your hand,,,, was still on his shoulder,,, and you giggled again,,,,, how are you,,, so cute
Little did he know you freaked out the exaCt same way you saw him the first time in the hallways with his eyes closed and head leaning against the lockers
And not only that,,, he was just super pretty,,,
With the winter light perfectly hitting his face
His jacket slightly too big and it loosely drooped over his shoulders
I’m actually ruining myself imagining this wow thanks m e
So when you finally asked around after a couple days one of your friends told you who he was
The Han Jisung
The resident bad boy at your school, who liked to get into fights and allegedly also liked to play around with peoples hearts 
Which didn’t exactly scare you well maybe it did a little bit but we’re not here to expose ourselves
First of all you’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s probably just like any of us ?? people just kinda put him on a pedestal so you felt like you didn’t really need to treat him differently from anyone else
And with every time that he would sit outside of your practice room and listen you felt a little bit of that fear melting away because when he looked so relaxed and so pretty that his face just screamed UwU
But you gotta play it cool reader,,,because you’re slick and all that,,, you know
So you just kinda turn around and head into the music room without saying anything else
Which again gave him shock number 37429387129837 of the day
He was expecting you to do something,,, say something,,,,, but instead,,,,
You just smiled at him, and turned back to into the room, now sitting at the piano bench
He was confused
And mayhaps just the littlest bit disappointed  
He knew that everyone knew him, and that’s usually not the kind of reaction he gets, usually he gets a whole OH mY iT’s HaN jiSuNg scream or an angry disgusted look from people who didn’t like him
But no
Not you
Yet, what could he do
He was going to just,, sit back down in the hallway in his usual spot, or maybe just get up and leave since his cover has been blown and you probably think he’s super creepy
When your voice called out for him inside of the room
“Are you gonna come in or what?”
A small smile spread on his face as he stood up, and he noticed you had already set up a chair for him next to you at the piano
“So,,,, do you like classical music?”
“Um,, not really,, no.”
“Then,, why did you sit outside every day ??” 
You asked confused, your eyebrows slightly furrowing staring at him with intent
And he just found that so cute
So so so cute
So cute that it just made any confidence he had just disappear
“I-I justreallylikethewayyouplayitsoundsnice.”
He just really wanted you to stop looking at him like that it was going to make him actually just explode
You gave a breathy laugh at his cute antics,,, what was there not to like about this boy,,, I mean what a softie
Maybe he wasn’t too bad, ya know
Nothing to be afraid of
“You wanna hear me play one of my favorite songs?”
Jisung nodded his head, his hair lightly flopping on his forehead, kinda covering his eyes
Oh how bad you wanted to brush it out of his eyes and just pinch his cheeks but, alas, it shall not happen
Or will it ;);););;;;))))))))
So you with a light inhale you began playing on of your favorite pieces, it was strong and domineering, with an edge of superiority
If ya wanna check it out it’s actually one of my favorite pieces it’s Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Minor, Op. 23, No. 5
As soon as you started, Jisung was already in a trance, the way your hands moved, the sound of your breath hitching every huge chord or octave jump
Damn Jisung was whipped
When you smiled at him after you finished the piece
With your eyes so bright, finally breathing normally again, and just a light pink blush that swept across your face
He felt his heart beat fast again
But this time
Mayhaps he didn’t want to run away
“So, what did you think? Did you like it?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you like classical music maybe a little bit more now ??”
You asked with just the biggest grin on your face
“Hmm,, no i don’t think so,,” Jisung responded with the cheekiest smile known to mankind
“Then,,, I think you’re gonna have to come back here tomorrow so I can change your mind about that” ;)));))))))
WOWOW,, alright reader do y’all ever get tired of being so cute ??
As you continued playing the marvelous thought dawned upon Jisung
So maybe he did like classical music just a little bit more now
And,, maybe his heart beat faster with every second you looked at him
And maybe that feeling is not as bad as a thing as he thought it would be
Maybe it’s actually just the littlest bit nice
Just a little bit
380 notes · View notes
lgbtyrus · 6 years
Text
TJ’s Playlist Chapter 6
Story Summary: When Cyrus finds a playlist on TJ’s desktop full of old love songs, he realizes that TJ has never been a scary basketball guy but rather a huge sap. TJ just wished Cyrus could realize that all of those songs remind him of a certain boy who likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins without telling him directly.
With insecurities and fears almost set in stone, it’s hard for TJ to admit that he has a heart aching crush on Cyrus who is trying to avoid just that. Of course, it doesn’t seem like both of them are trying to get over each other when they’re always together.
Ao3 Link | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Words: 4252
Warning: angst, they cuss now
Cyrus found himself still lying awake in his dark room. His blanket had been thrown to the side, and he was sweating. He made his way to his restroom, and when he was washing his hands, he looked up at his mirror. He looked exhausted. He had told TJ goodnight and his intentions were to fall asleep right away like he had for the last few years. It was a gift Andi and Buffy always told him that they envied.
Only he couldn’t.
He kept thinking about his conversation with Buffy and wondered if there was anything that they had done that made her ask that question. What had put the idea in her head?
The only thing that drove him crazier was that he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. When had put the polaroid of him and TJ in his journal, he doodled a heart on the side without thinking. He quickly turned it into a shaded in circle and shut his journal.
He didn’t want to like TJ. He couldn’t like TJ. He didn’t want to be feeling all those butterflies and how his cheeks managed to feel hotter around him even though it was already 90 degrees outside. TJ was the human version of the sun to him, and it was getting harder to look at him. Cyrus couldn’t help but notice the few freckles that dotted his nose. Green was becoming a prettier color to him, and he didn’t want to know if it was because that was the color of TJ’s eyes. Their height difference was becoming a lot more noticeable to him, too. Thinking about their height difference killed him. It was when he wondered if he’d have to stand on his tippy toes to kiss him.
He would do absolutely anything to stop thinking about TJ.
Only it was getting harder.
It was kind of starting to hurt, too. It was the same longing he felt in his chest when he saw Jonah. His obstacle from being with Jonah was Andi and the probable fact that Jonah didn’t like boys. His obstacle with being TJ was simply that he didn’t like boys- making it easier to lose their friendship. If Jonah had found out, he was probably going to say “oh sorry” and then proceed to still be friends with him because of the Good Hair Crew.
If TJ found out, Cyrus had already built 22 different scenarios of it going horribly wrong. Only one of them included a “Sorry, Cyrus. I don’t like guys. But let’s still be friends.” Only, they didn’t ever speak again after that. Cyrus felt like he was driving himself mad thinking of it.
Cyrus made his way back into his room and threw himself at his bed. He hadn’t checked the time in a while, so he unplugged his phone from the charger on his bedside table. He let out a sigh as he realized it was 2:02AM. He felt curse. He had never stayed up for no reason, not even when he liked Iris or Jonah. If anything, he wanted to go to sleep to avoid the fact that he didn’t like kissing Iris as cool as she was. He wanted to fall asleep so that he could dream of another world where Jonah liked him.
But now all he could do is stay away and live in the world where TJ Kippen didn’t like him.
Cyrus shut his eyes once more, his phone gripped in his hand. He tried to fall asleep, and he knew it wasn't working. He slightly picked his head up and slammed it back down repeatedly on his pillow, hoping it'd be enough to take him out. It didn't work.
He began thinking about TJ again as he gave up and lay there. He thought about how he was actually putting in a lot more effort into his math. It made him smile.
Then he remembered.
Cyrus: Hey TJ r u awake?
In less than a minute, there was a response on his phone.
TJ: Yes but u shouldnt be
Cyrus: i can't sleep
TJ: why not?
Because of you!
Cyrus: honestly im not sure. i just have a lot of things running through my mind
You.
TJ: Do you want to talk about it?
Cyrus: I don't think so. I don't even know y i texted u in the first place tbh. sorry
TJ: youre good. i dont fall asleep until like 4am
Cyrus: oh man thats too late kgfdjgfdg
TJ: lmao i didnt think youd ever fall asleep past 10
Cyrus: i never do. i have a strict need for at least 7 hrs of sleep or ill die
TJ: looks like ur gonna die
Cyrus: please release a white dove at my funeral. make it two so it won't be lonely. Im being honest rn. im chugging a gallon of coffee tomorrow i swear. how do u do it everyday
TJ: I don't have a choice most of the time lmao. i just deal with it and let it slowly try to kill me
Cyrus: so u havent died bc you're a vampire?
TJ: u can say that. Hey can I call you instead? Im lazy
Cyrus: ye
“No,” Cyrus groaned. Hearing his voice was going to make everything feel worse. His phone started buzzing and he quickly answered it. He had never been happier about having soundproof walls. He didn’t want his parents asking what he was doing up so late talking to TJ.
“Hey,” TJ mumbled. Cyrus thought his sleepy voice was going to knock him out cold right then and right there.
“Hey, vampire,” Cyrus teased, making TJ chuckled in response.
“You sound awfully happy.”
“I’d be happier if I was asleep but I guess a late night conversation with my good pal TJ won’t kill me.”
“I’m starting to wonder if you really made up with Buffy,” TJ hummed. His voice was groggy yet Cyrus ate up every single one of his words. This was definitely a bad decision. “Did you?”
“I did,” Cyrus sighed. He was starting to wonder if he should tell him the real reason he couldn’t sleep. No. Then I’d have to tell him the idea of us liking each other is keeping me awake. But…. I don’t like him so it wouldn’t matter would it?
“We’re all cool right? I was wondering if she wanted to get her girl team to practice with mine.”
Cyrus grinned, “That’s actually be great. You should talk to her about it. I swear she’s not angry.”
“Why was she acting up with you then?”
“Stupid reasons. She admitted it herself. She’s scared of… something.”
“Buffy? Scared?” TJ scoffed. “Of what? Her reflection?” TJ paused and then said, “Sorry, that was mean.” Cyrus ended up laughing.
“No, it’s fine. She’s more worried you can say.”
“Of what?”
Of us falling in love, getting married, adopting kids, and living next door to her.
“Of us getting closer I guess.”
“So, she’s jealous?” TJ asked. Cyrus stopped himself for a moment. He hadn’t thought about it that way. He did make it clear he’d never pick anyone over her and Andi, though. He wouldn’t.
“Well we cleared it up, so I don’t think so.”
“Did she,” TJ hummed for a moment, “say anything else?” Cyrus raised an eyebrow. Did TJ know something else?
“Why are you asking?”
“Um…. Just curious.”
“You sure?”
“Well,” TJ added hesitantly. “I don’t know. I guess Amber and Buffy talked.”
“Buffy and Amber? Like my Buffy?”
“No, Buffy Summers. Yes, your Buffy,” TJ chuckled. “I guess that Amber showed her that photo where we both fell asleep and um,” TJ’s voice got lower, “I think that’s why she started acting up. Acting up is the right phrase to use but it’s 2AM. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Cyrus barely managed to say. His heart was beating fast and he was filling up with dread. Did TJ know exactly what Buffy was thinking?
“But did she say anything weird?” TJ asked again. Cyrus realized there were only 22 ways this could go wrong, and then chances of triggering one wasn’t that high. He was also half asleep and his “fuck it” senses were quite activated.
“By weird do you mean her asking me a million times about the idea of us dating?” Cyrus quickly spit out, hoping TJ might miss the word ‘dating’. There was a moment of complete silence for almost twenty seconds. Cyrus palms were feeling sweaty, so he put his phone on speaker and lay it on the pillow next to him.
“Yeah, that,” TJ finally said. “I think it was because of Amber, to be honest.”
“I mean everything makes sense, now,” Cyrus replied. “I was getting worried about some dumb stuff. I think that’s why I couldn’t sleep.” He felt a lot more relieved. So he and TJ hasn’t done something that made it seem like they had “more than friends” intentions. It was just a conversation between Buffy and Amber that sparked something in Buffy.
“So you do know why you can’t sleep,” TJ told him, discarding the dating topic.
“Well, kind of. I mean Buffy and I actually fought over this. We never fight.”
“Just because her and Amber conspired that we liked each other?” TJ scoffed. “They do know that will never happen right?” Those words seemed to chew right through Cyrus’ heart strings.
“Yeah… yeah,” Cyrus cleared his throat. “I mean we fixed it. She realized she was being dumb. She admitted it, too.”
“Did she apologize?”
“No. I don’t expect her to. It’s Buffy.”
“It’s Buffy isn’t a good excuse, Underdog. If I drain the blood out of a kindergartner, nobody is going to say, ‘Well, it’s just TJ.’ Are they?”
“One, they’re totally different. Two, one of them is completely unrealistic.” He wished TJ wasn’t so blunt sometimes. It made him come face to face with the feelings and thoughts he always shoved in the back of his head.
“Buffy apologizing every once in a while shouldn’t be unrealistic.”
“Well,” Cyrus sighed. “I don’t feel like she owes me an apology, okay?”
“If you’re comfortable with lying to yourself, sure.”
“I’m so comfortable with lying to myself, I’d convince myself that I love myself.”
“Self-deprecating humor, huh. Nice”
“Thanks. It’s a specialty. My brain is full of it.”
“That’s nice. My brain is full of useless facts.”
“Like what?”
“Like a cat named Stubbs was the mayor of Alaska from 1997 until his death.
“TJ, I know I don’t cuss, but literally. What the fuck,” Cyrus softly chuckled, causing TJ to erupt with laughter. Cyrus rarely heard TJ laugh like this, but it was music to his ears. He really did hate the way TJ made him feel like he was floating on the clouds. He was starting to get sleepy now.
“I can’t remember how to do long division, but I honestly can remember the dumbest things,” TJ said, starting to mumble again. “Hey, Underdog. Have you started reading The Giver yet?”
“No,” Cyrus yawned. “We don’t need to be up to chapter five until Friday.”
“Want me to read it to you until you fall asleep? You sound like you’re going to pass out any minute now.”
“But then I won’t remember where I was before I fell asleep,” Cyrus moaned.
“Don’t argue. I’m already getting my book,” TJ told him. Cyrus could hear TJ shuffling around the bedroom. “Alright. Chapter one…” TJ read to him for what felt twenty minutes before he couldn’t remember anything but the lightness of dream.
-
And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
TJ was in the middle of chapter two when he heard light snoring. He smiled and whispered, “Goodnight, Underdog.” He hung up the phone and set the book back inside of his backpack before shutting off the lights. He went back under his covers and checked his phone for the time. It was 3AM, and he could hear the distant yet familiar arguing from downstairs. He had blocked it out for almost an hour thanks to Cyrus and Lois Lowry. TJ put the sides of the pillows to cover his ears and closed his eyes.
He knew time had passed when his eyes blasted open at the sound of a door slamming shut. The front door downstairs. He then registered the soft crying. Amber’s crying. He sat straight up and saw that Amber was at the end of his bed, her back against the wall.
“Amber?” TJ rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Dad left,” she whispered. TJ stopped moving. Was he hearing wrong?
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that we're apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
“What?”
“Dad left. I heard them fighting in the bedroom like twenty minutes ago and he was packing his stuff,” she covered her face as she started to bawl. TJ lowered his hand and crawled over and put his arm around her. Amber shared a wall with their parents. TJ at least had the guest room in between which spared him a lot. Amber had always had it the worst.
“He’ll come back,” TJ whispered, his eyes starting to burn with tears. “He’ll come back.” Amber kept crying, her sobs eventually turning into wails. All TJ could do was sit there and hug her. He hadn’t even checked what time it was. He didn’t know if Amber had fallen asleep. It was getting hazy and everything felt a million times heavier. Amber’s sobs would die down and then increase suddenly, and he failed at trying not to cry. The only thing he heard was crying and the cars that would pass by in the streets. There was a ghostly silence emitting from the entire house. “He has to come back.”
Amber fell asleep after a long while, but TJ stayed wide awake. He gently laid her down before positioning himself next to his window. He was sitting with his back flat on his poster-covered wall, his eyes switching between watching Amber sleep and staring at the photos on his ceiling. He couldn’t really see them. It was still dark outside, and he didn’t know what he was waiting for. As soon as the sun beams started burst through the window and hit his bedsheets, he knew. He reached out a hand and let the light beam of sunshine hit his hand. There were striped shadows from the blinds wrapping around his skin. He let out a half-smile before closing his eyes. Everything will work out the way it’s meant to be he told himself. His GG always said that the rising sun meant a new era. He knew he wasn’t lying because the day he died, the sunrise turned the skies orange. It was his GG’s favorite color.
The music of the years gone by.
Sometimes I wonder, how I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song
The melody
Haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
TJ laid down next to Amber and closed his eyes, almost immediately falling asleep. It didn’t feel like he had slept for more than a few minutes, but it was 6:30AM when he woke up to Amber turning off his alarm clock. He hadn’t even covered himself with the blankets, and he was cold. Amber stood up with her hands wrapped around herself as she shivered.
“Get ready, okay?” she told him, her teeth chattering. She looked horrible, and TJ knew he did, too. He simply nodded his head, and she made her way out of his room. He didn’t want to get up. He was exhausted and drained. It was a different type of tired where everything felt heavy and his throat felt dry. His eyes hurt every time he blinked. He had no idea how he was going to make it through the entire day. He still had work that afternoon, and he definitely could not skip right now.
He stood up anyways and got dressed. He went out into the hall and heard the sink running in the restroom. Amber was going to be a while. He went back into his room and got his hair gel from his bag and started doing his hair in there to get that over with. When he was done, he heard his phone vibrate. He reached over and smiled when he saw who it was from.
Cyrus: Good morning. I’m dead.
TJ: God I wish I were you right now
Cyrus: What time did u fall asleep??? I don’t even remember falling asleep.
TJ: u knocked out like at 3.
Cyrus: how much sleep did you get
TJ: idk like 2
Cyrus: 2 what? Hours
TJ: minutes
Cyrus: tj omg. Minutes?!!!!!
TJ: okay maybe like an hour or 2 I don’t really know.
TJ hesitated before sending the next text.
TJ: everything just sucks right now
Cyrus: hey I’m here if you need anything okay? We can talk about it over baby tators after tutoring if you’d like. My treat this time.
TJ: can’t. I have work.
Cyrus: I’ll walk you to work then. Sound good?
TJ: sounds perfect :^)
Cyrus: :o)
TJ heard the restroom door open, and he walked out to finish getting ready. Amber saw the smile on his face and raised an eyebrow, “Cyrus.” TJ shrugged, the smile not faltering. “Goofy boys,” Amber shook her head with a grin and walked back into her room.
When TJ finished getting ready, he walked down stairs to find Amber making them breakfast. He had heard their mom shuffling around in the master bedroom, so he knew she wasn’t downstairs.
“Eat up,” Amber told him as he sat down. “It’s almost seven, and I’m pretty sure we’re walking.” TJ didn’t say anything and gratefully ate the breakfast. They both ate in silence. TJ realized Amber didn’t have any makeup on and her hair was in a ponytail. He had seen himself in the mirror minutes ago, and he knew he didn’t exactly look like Prince Charming either.
They both turned to the kitchen doorway when their mom walked inside. She was still in her work uniform, and her hair was in a bun that was fall apart. Her eyes and nose were extremely red.
“I made breakfast,” Amber told her, not looking at her for longer than a second. TJ just saw her nod her head before walking to the coffee machine.
“You kids don’t have to go to school today,” she told them, her voice quiet yet rough. “I’ll call in.”
“I have to turn in an essay,” Amber quickly responded.
“Yeah,” TJ momentarily added, “I have tutoring after school.”
“Tutoring?” their mom turned to look at him. TJ sunk back a little in his seat. They had been told about his dyscalculia, but it was something they haven’t talked about in a while.
“Yeah,” TJ bit his lip. “I have it for math with a friend and Mrs. Pierson.” She simply nodded her head and went back to paying attention to the coffee machine. They were silent for the next few minutes as Amber and TJ kept eating, the clinking of dishes filling the air. Their mom watched them carefully as she drank her coffee. TJ checked his phone and told them, “I better get going.” He collected his and Amber’s dishes and placed them in the sink.
“I’ll wash them after I drop you kids off,” their mom putting her coffee on the counter. “Let me go get the keys.”
“We can walk if you want,” Amber told her delicately. She hadn’t taken them to school in ages. They called it an unnecessary waste of gas most of the time.
“No,” she shook her head. “I want to. At least today.” Neither TJ or Amber pressed the matter and just went to wait by the door. Amber’s eyes were already tearing up as they got to the door. TJ gave her a weak reassuring and smile which caused Amber to rub her eyes in an attempt of disguise. When the heard the keys rattling, Amber turned to their mom and said, “I have English second period. I might text you to pick me up.”
“I’ll be by my phone,” she said as they all walked out to the family car. TJ sat in the back seat and waited for the car to start moving. He felt ice cold even though fall had barely crept in, and it was making him want to sleep. He started considering skipping school. Mrs. Pierson would understand. Cyrus would, too. “Hey, um,” their mom gently said. “I just want you kids to know that I already talked to my boss. I’m getting shifts as I need them. I’m going to be responsible now, I swear. Nana and I talked. She’ll be on call if any of you two need anything, and I’m at work.” TJ knew Amber was crying again. It made him feel worse hearing her cry. Their mom started choking up, “Hey, I love you kids, okay? I’ve been a shitty mom lately, but we’ll get through this even if it’s just the three of us. I swear.”
He has to come back. He has to come back.
-
TJ was early to school; not a lot of kids had gotten dropped off. He walked into the cafeteria and got in line (it was only two kids in front of him). He was full already, but he eyed the chocolate chocolate chip muffins. He grabbed one and went back outside to sit at a picnic bench. He pulled out his phone and realized he already had a text from Cyrus.
Cyrus: hey I need to see you before class starts
TJ: im already at school sooo
Cyrus: im almost there. Where are u?
TJ: Benches by the cafeteria
TJ didn’t bother waiting for a response. He rested his head on his propped up arm and started closing his eyes. His eyelids felt so stiff, and he if tired had a taste, it was whatever parched feeling he had in his throat.
“Good morning!” Cyrus enthusiastically said, causing TJ to jump up startled.
“Hey!” TJ yelped. He quickly turned around to see if anyone had seen, but it was just kids minding their own business and Cyrus laughing. TJ smirked at Cyrus, “Proud that you scared the shit out of me?”
“Kind of, yes,” Cyrus grinned. He had two coffee shop drinks in his hands and one was half-way done. TJ assumed that’s where he got his energy. “Here,” Cyrus set the coffee in front of TJ. “I don’t know if you drink coffee, but I know you need it.”
“I’m usually an energy drink guy, but I tend to not splurge on them. Sleep is free energy,” TJ said and picked up the coffee. He studied the see-thru plastic carefully. He rarely got anything from the coffee shop. He didn’t know how to order it. Why couldn’t the sizes just be small, medium, and large?
“You’re not getting any sleep, and TJ, I mean this in the nicest way possible. You look exhausted. I’m so glad I chose today to get you this,” Cyrus gave TJ an apologetic look. TJ was half-asleep, so he just stared at Cyrus’ lips for a few seconds too long before remembering he was in a conversation.
“Uh, yeah,” TJ blinked furiously and set the coffee down, “thank you by the way. I owe you one.”
“No, you don’t,” Cyrus shook his head. TJ took a sip from the straw and immediately made a sour face.
“What is this, Underdog?” TJ smacked his lips a few times. It was super sweet at first, but he liked the aftertaste. He started drinking it again.
“I call it liquid cocaine. It’s 4 shots of expresso, and 4 pumps of white chocolate syrup over ice in a cold cup.”
“Sounds unhealthy.”
“You sleeping habits are unhealthy, TJ. You need to get more sleep.”
“Sounds fake.”
“TJ!” Cyrus whined.
“Fine, fine,” TJ rubbed his eyes. “I’ll take sleeping syrup or something.”
“Don’t abuse that stuff, though.”
“Do you want me to sleep or not?” TJ smiled, causing Cyrus to shrug.
“I guess,” Cyrus sighed. TJ felt nice for a change. Every time he realized Cyrus cared about him, it made everything feel better. Even if everything was a complete shit pile. “Hey we have time to talk if you want to tell me what’s wrong. Or we can wait until after school. If we don’t crash.” TJ looked around and bit his lip. If he didn’t make it to the end of the school day, it wasn’t going to be because of a caffeine crash. He was pretty good at hiding any emotional distress in person, but he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold this in.
“I’ll just um…,” TJ bit his lip harder.
“We’ll talk after school,” Cyrus reached his hand across the table and squeezed TJ’s free hand. TJ felt himself turning red, but he didn’t reach out to cover his nose. He put the coffee down and set the abandoned muffin right in front of Cyrus.
“It’s for you.”
The nightingale
Tells his fairytale
Of paradise, where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain.
Next Chapter
A/N: Thank you for reading! Here’s those who asked to be tagged :) If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know! Also if I forget you I swear it wasn’t on purpose. I skip over things in my head sometimes.
@magicalcowboycalzonemoney @the-greatt-perhaps @thedampjofangirl@evaeselgreatest @musicalsfuckmeup @stupidlambforever
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