#i fucked up a lot of stuff but i'll sort it tomorrow maybe im tired as hell rn

[flameontheotherside]

Blah Omg

I was able to get some sleep during the day and avoid just about every one forgetting they all worked today. It wasn't until tonight my phone started to blow up. I told them I was busy with doing some artwork. Which I was. 🤣 I can't hide forever. Thought maybe I would go to Henderson first thing in the morning but I need to get a bus pass from my case manager tomorrow.

Got some forms in the mail about my disability application. I need to have my case manager sign off on them before sending it back. My foodstamps didn't come in though... I only got an approval letter... 😑 Omg why?

I'm still very tired and blah.

After my shift tomorrow I see my therapist. Erik is upset that I've been doubting everything. He and Vanessa were telling me about Bragi and I didn't want to hear it. 😑 He finally yelled at me that I know who Bragi is. Hurt my ear too... To be honest im shocked. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Yet almost at the same time I'm not. In the back of my mind I kinds knew but the problem is that I need to get my life in order...and I'm deathly afraid. However Vanessa is insanely happy and if she weren't so prissy, she'd be doing cartwheels. It's the dude I have my number to at renfest. Seen him a couple times since. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Influenced by Vanessa and alcohol, I made out with him. He probably thinks I'm a "THOT" 😆 I blame it on Vanessa and I can because he is one of her many boyfriends in the realms, that's why! What a whore-able "person".

Whatever 🙄 I'm not going to expect anything. Sometimes my intuition is wrong. With my luck, I'll get emotionally involved and then forgotten or something because it always happens. Part of the anxiety is from that now. They keep saying I have nothing to worry about....but I basically just got out of an 8 year jail sentence. Wouldn't it be wiser to just stay friends anyway? OK... My brain hurts. I know now who Bragi is and why Vanessa was feeding me her feels...rather why Ive been feeling confused.

Being that Erik is dead and all...

I get why it was important for him blurt out about Bragi. Months ago, he had said that he was my "future husband". I kind of sort of called it bullshit and then got wind of Vanessa's feels for him. Erik has seen me struggle and he doesn't want me to join a Convent... Especially Vanessa. Erik wants me to be happy but I kind of gave up on it. She's been frustrated for God knows how long. Poor girl is starving. 🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Calm down bitch! Let things run its course. Lmao I'm dieing. Erik wants me to give this guy a chance. I know he likes me enough to text me 🤷🏼‍♀️ so....???

Yep. Now I won't be able to sleep. This is just great. The whole Bragi mystery has been George this whole time 🤦🏼‍♀️. What's further insane is he has a friend who is also from the realms. For fucks sake! 😆 I really hope Erik and Vanessa are pleased because I feel sick to my stomach. Going to be a wreck for sure...uh yep. I'm going to pretend they didn't say it. It must be miscommunication or my intuition is broken... Or maybe I'm just crazy.

😘💞💕❤️ I'm off to die, good night!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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EDIT: I still don't know who Bragi is. Turned out I was wrong. Which is fine, I don't care. But I thought he was either Matt or George. I was wrong about my future husband too. Also not a big deal.