#i fuckinggggg have been trying to do this one for SO LONG

[voidimp]

I FINALLY FUCKING DID IT

[ungratefulbeyotchhotline]

Heehoo

i have been seeing this new person for about a month now and gamers.... when i tell you i am one smitten kitten..... jdndbdhxn i like them so so so so much it hasnt been long enough so im not gna say i l-word them i will stay we stan them

theyre an artist and a sagittarius and they have tattoos and are abt my same height and they have a fucked up sense of humor in the same way i do, we really riff and bounce off each other in such a cool way which us a huge green flag for me! theyre Very Online™️ but not in an annoying way lol in the way that we get almost all of each others references and theres a lot of stuff we don't have to explain since we both know

they are so! fucking! consiencious and sweet!!! like last weekend i was staying over & they had to leave early as fuck & when i woke up they had plugged my phone in. idk it seems small but that is just so fucking thoughtful and sweet i swooooned .and they listen to me and understand and i feel safe with them i feel like i can tell them anything, like something yesterday was bothering me and i texted them "hey can we talk abt this in the morning" and they came then and there to talk about it i'm dhdbdvdhchue

Thats another thing we both have trauma and anxiety that manifests in similar ways so we can clock each other & like reality test if that makes sense, like they can always tell when i'm anxious or tense or off & i know i am a really chill and calming presence for them too, they have said before that they sre used to getting yelled at so me being calm and patient and understanding catches them off guard but in a good way

and gamers..... the sex is SO GOOD. holy fuck like greatest of all time. ive fucked sagittarians before lol and it's hot and passionate but with them it's like next level. incomparable. and there's a lot of ✨stuff✨ that ive always wanted to try but would only want to do with the right person who i trust and i know would do a good job lmao and welp they sure do fit that bill!!!!! i'm excited to continue to explore shit w them, like i said i trust them and know they know what they're doing. like the first night they choked me hella which i wasnt used to but was soooooo fuckinggggg hot holy shit & the whole next day my throat was hurting s lilbit & whenever i felt it i was like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

idk i havent had this kind of connection w someone ever and it is so fun and exciting ahhhh 🥰🥰 we stan!!!!!!

[bba-sae]

And In The End

PAIRING: Jaehyun/Reader

GENRE: Greek!AU + angst +fluff

WORD COUNT: 6.2K

SUMMARY: "My heart shall wither away with you.”

Authors note: S/O to everyone I left waiting for this series to FUCKINGGGGG STAAARRRTTTTT. I’m sorry. I suck, no excuse. But ooowweeeee look at that. I’m not sure when the others will be done but I do have other NCT/Seventeen Aus in the works. I’ll probably release a new AU in a few days, depending on how inspired I feel. Anyways, enjoy this???!!! Or don’t, I won’t force you, just don’t hate me pls lol

“You are not supposed to be here.” You say in a whisper, your voice almost being caught in your throat when you lay eyes on the intruder. You hold a candle to his face, the light seeming to dim against his bright smile. 

A boy sits nonchalantly on a table, his beauty threatening the most bewitching scenes that seem to fade in his presence. He shines brightly in the dullness that fills your life and a single breath is held in your throat. He juggles three figs between his hands, a smile emphasizing the plump bow of his lip. Jaehyun.

You see it in the way he sits, his limbs arranging themselves with such grace, they could not have been that of anyone else. His black hair falls cleanly upon his head though he runs his fingers through it rather sloppily. Despite his sheer handsomeness, he seems unaware of this dizzying yet intriguing effect he has on you. 

The boy drops two figs onto the table, taking the one in his left to the dagger that he pulls with his right. His hand expertly slices the fruit in one flick, and he takes the fruit to his mouth with one bite. You watch the juice drip off the corners of his mouth down his chin, his hand raises to wipe the side of his face. His eyes catch yours when he does, forcing you to shoot your gaze to the floor immediately. A loud chuckle emits from the pit of his stomach, the sound erupting a strange feeling of contentment through you. 

“You remember me.” He says with a smile, flicking his tongue to capture the rest of his food. You roll your eyes and pull your garments closer to you. The cold air of night seemed to scrape against the surface of your skin but dissipated with every step you took closer to the peculiar boy.

Though he claims to have shared the same age as yourself, he seems to exude a sort of unearthly wonder. You questioned him profusely when he confided to you that he was eleven the last time he visited.

“Of course I remember you, thief.” You set the candle on the table and take a seat beside him. Your legs cross in front of you, hands resting neatly in your lap. Jaehyun turns to you, his knees press against yours and he leans in with a frown. The boy never had a sense of personal space.

He seems betrayed when he speaks, his disappointment seeping through his words, “A thief? But you said I could visit. You even promised to leave me those figs.”

You laugh at this, a breathy laugh that makes Jaehyun pause for a moment. He’s heard a thousand laughs before, but none seem to ring through his body quite like that. He takes a second to refocus on your voice when you start, “I don’t really mean you are a thief. I was playing with you Jaehyun. Don’t you tease your friends?”

He chokes on his breath, a stutter forming instead of words. His eyes widen and his hands rush to wrap around yours.  You furrow your eyebrows as you attempt to retract your hands, but they are locked tight in his grasp. “We’re friends?”

“I don’t see why not.” You shrug as if the statement means nothing. But to Jaehyun, it is everything he has waited for. He smiles widely with glee, his eyes squinting into crescents. You shake your head at his childish excitement and wiggle yourself out of the little space Jaehyun leaves you. You stand again, grabbing the candle in your small hand. 

“But you barely know me? How do you decide these kinds of things?”

“That’s not true. I know a lot of things about you.” You begin walking around the table, hand grabbing the fabric of your gown. Your eyes focus on your feet that pad lightly against the ground. Jaehyun’s body spins and twists to follow your figure, unable to speak as he watches your peculiar actions, “I know you like figs, you told me that the last time I saw you. I know your parents are probably not very kind to you, because if they were you wouldn’t have to sneak in here to feast. Perhaps you are the son of a servant? But that wouldn’t make sense because you are so very,” You pause, trying to put a word to your thoughts. The boy rests his elbow on the table as he watches you take a seat again on the table's surface.

 He looks up at you, his eyes appearing bigger as he raises his eyebrows, “So very?”

“Foreign?” You tap your chin once, twice, before shaking your head, “Unlike anyone I’ve met?,” Your eyes close for a moment before it hits you and you snap your fingers in delight, “Unearthly.” 

Jaehyun scoffs, only realizing how exaggerated it sounds when it echoes through the room. He shakes his head vigorously before standing up and swatting his hand left and right. You laugh at his strange gestures. 

Your fit of giggles stops Jaehyun in his tracks and his hands fall to his sides. His stillness contrasts with your jovial movements as you hold your stomach in laughter. “I was only teasing again. Jaehyun, you have many things to learn.”

He sighs in relief, no longer surprised by your interest in him. The two of you spend the rest of the night talking, sharing stories of your days. He convinces you to stay until the first light of day and you hesitantly agree. 

When Jaehyun speaks of his own family, after hearing the extensive chronicles of your own, he doesn’t have much to say. His father never talks to him much, only forcing him to do his bidding when he’s occupied with other women. He relays to you that he has a sister and a mother, but that was all he has to share.

But before you can pry more, a single ray of sunlight illuminates a section of your face through the crack of a wall. You squint in its brightness, blinded by the intense amount light that floods the room suddenly. A burst of light obstructs your vision entirely and when you gain a sense of sight once more, Jaehyun is gone. You look around, only then feeling the weight of sleep threaten your composure. It is only a few short minutes until you give up, bidding him a goodbye under your breath. 

When Jaehyun hears you whisper his name, the light that illuminates the room glows with an unearthly brilliance but you don’t stay long enough to see.

Jaehyun and you become close within the next times he visits. You find comfort in his presence when you become lonely and you begin anxiously awaiting his visits. But after the six months, you no longer find him dining in your kitchen in the late hours. He is gone without another word, and his memory becomes that of an old childhood friend.

The next time you see Jaehyun, you feel his warm hands first. Your body lies beneath the olive tree that adorns the center of your family’s garden. You are three years older now, the gentle curves of your body hugged by the soft cloth of your dress. The torrid air of summer hugs your frame, the sweat collecting between your skin as you lay your forearm upon your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed, finding peace within the serene sound of leaves rustling in the tender winds.

As you feel your consciousness fading into a wisp of slumber, you are pulled awake when you feel a hand graze the side of your face. Your eyes shoot open and your hand is quick to grab the culprit, preventing him from moving closer. Your vision clears, and a pair of familiar eyes stare down at you. You blink once, twice, three times to focus on his features, hand still holding his. He lets out a faint laugh, sounding more like a sigh than anything else. 

“You’re rather strong, for a queen.” He jokes, earning a scoff from you. You are taken aback, however, knowing that the news of your betrothal was strictly confidential. Only your family knew of it. You sit up to meet his gaze, your hair messy and unkempt from lying on the ground. He sits back and rests his arm on his knee. 

Three years does not feel as long as it is until you notice how he’s grown. Jaehyun, now 16, still has his youthful glow that radiates his figure, but the years seem to have been kind to him. His features have become more defined, and his frame is taller. You notice his muscles, more toned than his prepubescent physique. Yet it was not the body of a common boy who helped his father with handy work, his body was that of a warrior. One that spent years training, training for a reason you were unsure of.

You shake your head and wave your arms as if pushing his words away. “I am not a queen.”

“Yet,” He says slyly, and you roll your eyes. He leans in, and tilts his head up slightly to look down at you with raised eyebrows, a knowing smile painted on his lips, “You are not a queen yet.”

“I am betrothed, I am not married. Many things can happen between now and then.” You trail off as you speak, distracting yourself with your hands. You intertwine your fingers together, hugging your hands tightly until your knuckles turn white. 

Jaehyun frowns, tilting his head in curiosity, “It sounds as if you don’t wish to be married to this man.”

“I don’t.” You say bluntly and meet his eyes. You don’t know why he’s smiling, and perhaps he doesn’t know either. But when you stare into his brown orbs, you feel a rush of relief flow through his features. He sighs, and he hopes you don’t notice the way his fists unclench. He’s heard everything he wants to hear but he goes on.

“And why is that?” 

You shrug, looking up at the sky for a moment. The rays of sun seem brighter, a pattern you have begun to expect with Jaehyun. “I don’t want to be nothing.”

“What do you mean by that?” He questions, eyebrows furrowing.

“I will be married. I will be his queen. I will be showered with riches. But I will not be loved. He will not love me, because he paid for me. But he will pretend to love me, for a moment. And I will feel important, for a moment.  Then in a few weeks, I will be nothing to him. I am not a token to be slept with and cast aside when one decides to seek other women. I don’t want to be nothing,” Your hands finally unclench and you begin to feel the blood rush through them. You look back to Jaehyun to check if he’s still listening and you are surprised how intently he watches you, “I want to be something, I want to be everything to the man I choose to love. I want them to choose me, every day.”

Jaehyun is silent when you finish and you believe he might laugh at your hopeless desires. You’re ready to hide yourself in embarrassment for pouring your heart out to someone you haven’t seen in so long, but for some reason, nothing ever felt more right. 

“I think I can help you with that.” He mumbles and you tilt your head to question him. 

“And how is that?”

“My father tells me that when I live up to my potential, I’ll be able to choose my wife, any woman in the land will marry me.” You let out a loud laugh and shake your head. You swing your legs to the side and rest your hand on the ground. Though you laugh, Jaehyun remains serious and you cough to clear the air.

“So?” You ask, and Jaehyun’s hands find yours. You don’t know why, but you soften at his touch and you allow him to proceed, though you know you shouldn’t. 

“I’ll choose you.” He whispers as if the words were meant for you. You feel his breath fan your face, only then noticing how close the two of you are.

When you answer, your voice is as inaudible as his. It is hesitant and soft and you believe you wouldn't be unable to speak any louder. “And if I say no?”

“You won’t be able to resist. I’ll save you a thousand times over.” His thumbs circle the back of your hands, and you feel as if Jaehyun did not come back to you with the intention to remain a friend. You felt his presence becoming imprinted on your very being, unable to forget him. You only hope he will not leave again. 

“What if I’m in no danger? What if I’m in no need of saving?”

He leans in, close enough to feel your breath mix with his, but he stops himself short of feeling the sweet touch of your lips, opting to lean back with a smile. He watches as your eyes flutter close in a split second as if awaiting a kiss, only to shoot open once again, “Then I’ll hope that you choose me too.”

“You’re a what?” you question. Your quarters are lit dimly by the blue hues of moonlight, yet they still seem too bright around Jaehyun. It is only a few nights since he has last seen you, but he couldn’t stay away from you much longer.  

Jaehyun leans against a wall, his gaze focuses on his hand that twists under the moonlight. It’s as if he’s trying to manipulate it or trying to soak it up. You cough once to get his attention again and he looks up at you. You’re sitting on your bed, your blankets held tightly to your body. The air is cold around you, and you shiver in the sudden chill that runs through your room. Jaehyun’s lips tighten into a slight smile and he closes the distance between you two even more. You already feel the warm flowing towards you.

“A god, haven’t you seen one?” He says it so casually as if it’s nothing. His voice is deeper, more confident than when you were eleven. 

You shake your head in disbelief, “You must be horribly misinformed, Gods do not walk among the humans. Gods hate humans.” Jaehyun shrugs, the ordeal not weighing on him as much as it weighs on you. You squint your eyes at him, still trying to understand what was happening. 

“But I am here, and I’m standing with you. Are you not human either? A muse, a siren perhaps?”

You let out an offended laugh, looking up at the ceiling to sort out your thoughts. When you look back at him, you meet his gaze with a glare, clenching your fist tighter. “You want me to believe you and you’re already comparing me to a siren? Is that how I come across to you?” 

Jaehyun sustains his eyes contact as he crawls onto your bed. The weight shifts to his side and the proximity becomes dangerously evident. Even in the darkness, you are beginning to scan his features clearly, his dazzling eyes leaving you breathless. “Beautiful, a sickeningly sweet voice, you could be the death of me if I got a little too close.” He finishes the last word as if it’s a challenge. One eyebrow raises before he’s only a few inches away from you. When he sits, he’s already grabbing your arm, pulling you into his lap to close the gap. Your hands instinctively rest on his shoulders and his own snake around your waist. He shrugs, “It’s an easy mistake to make.” 

You scoff at his actions, pushing a finger into his chest, “Maybe you are a God. If you were the god of shamelessly advancing on uninterested women.”

“Uninterested? I think not.” He says this with a squeeze to your hips, as if reminding you of your rather compromisable position, “But I’m willing to add more titles to my name.” 

“Aren’t gods supposed to,” you trail off, being thrown off by the way he looks at you. You lose yourself in his smile, as he giddily watches you speak. You refocus and continue, “have more decency?” 

He laughs as he always does and retorts, “My father is Zeus, I have a thousand siblings, who have a thousand lovers themselves. Please tell me about my indecency for wanting to be with one woman who has mesmerized me since I was young?” 

Your hands run down the sides of his face, examining the curves and details of his features. You ponder the fact that he may be a god, for no mortal could possibly be this beautiful. 

“Prove it.” You whisper, instantly being greeted by a sudden burst of light. It is the same as when you were 11, every time Jaehyun would depart from your presence. Yet this time it is smaller, a powerful thing that explodes from the boy’s hand. He closes his fist to extinguish it. A quiet gasp leaves your parted lips, and Jaehyun watches you intently for a reaction. “God of light. I knew it.” You say with a smile, hand snaking around to touch the nape of his neck. 

It is in that moment, something maybe you’ve been waiting for when he returned to you when he finally kisses you. His lips are soft but are eager to feel yours. He’s been waiting to tell you this, he has wanted to tell you for years. He doesn’t know exactly why he tells you on this night, perhaps he hopes to sway you toward him more. As if you really did have a choice in the end. The kiss is chaste and you pull away before he can will you towards his desires even more. You shake your head as his face recedes and he looks at you confused. 

“I cannot do this. I cannot let you sway me like this.”  You remove yourself from his grasp, sitting back into your original place. Jaehyun’s expression is hurt, his crestfallen features breaking your heart painfully so.

He turns away from you, hands supporting his weight as they press against your bed behind him. His legs hang off the edge, the curve of his back hunched more than it should. He looked defeated, a pitiful laugh ripping from his throat. “My apologies, I must have been mistaken in thinking you felt the same way about me.”

“You aren’t mistaken. Do not convince yourself that your feelings are not returned.”

“Then why,” His voice is loud, anger manifesting in the pit of his stomach. He stands and his feet press hard against the floor. His sudden burst surprises you, and he takes note of this. Before he acts, he takes another second to calm himself, “Then why can’t you?” His voice breaks off into a cry. He’s desperate at this point. Everything about the way he holds himself shows that he’s broken without you, and you yearn to mend the pieces together.

“You are a god. I am a betrothed mortal. Everything about that doesn’t make sense. Gods do not marry mortals, gods impregnate mortals, leaving them to hopelessly cling to their child as the only piece of someone they loved. Gods wed goddesses.” At this, Jaehyun shakes his head in disagreement, though you believe you cannot be convinced otherwise. “For as long as you are a god, you will be meant to do godly things, things that I cannot be a part of. You will love me, and you will leave and you will discover the true beauties of the world,

“The entire world is quite literally, in the palm of your hand. You said it yourself, any woman will want you,” You rise from your place on the bed, walking to him slowly. It doesn’t occur to you that your ill-fitting garments to hide yourself from him, but it does not matter to you, “So am I supposed to sit here and wait for you? Wait while you go off, sleeping with beautiful women, forgetting about me, until I become just the mother of your demigod of a child?” 

His breath becomes still as he ponders your words. His gaze doesn’t fall back to you though you want to look at him, but he speaks, “Yes, I will leave and yes you will have to wait for me. But you are terribly mistaken, my love.” He looks at you again, and you feel yourself release the breath you’ve been holding. His hand cups the side of your face, causing you to lean into his touch for more, “There is not another being in all of existence that may take my heart away from you. It is yours to keep, to do as you wish, until I come home to you. The mere thought of you is forever ingrained in me, no god may do anything about it.”

You kiss the inside of his wrist, eyes trained on him as he intently watches you, “And when I wither away like dust?” He leans in a little closer with a gentle smile, assuring your rapidly beating pulse.

“My heart shall wither away with you.”

“And my betrothal?” You ask, still concerned about your own future. He takes your other hand in his, kissing it softly, as he always does. He guides your hand to wrap behind his neck, a gesture that pulls you closer to his body. 

“I will find a way, I promise you.” His claim is confident, and you can’t see yourself to doubt him in any way. 

You laugh to lighten the mood, unable to hide your own giddy smile from his sweet words, “A promise from a god? I suppose I must expect you to keep your word then?”

“That is, so long as you keep yours.” He drops his hand from your face, opting to snake the around your waist. His hands run up your spin, lightly traces the curve of your body. “To choose me.”

You scoff at this, teasing him for the sake of habit, “Now I don’t believe I’ve said anything of the sort.”

He kisses you again, careful that you will not pull away. Instead, you return the kiss, pushing your body against him as if there was any more space for you to take up. This time, it is him that pulls away, with a mischievous smile painted across his swollen lips, ”Your actions have said enough.”

Jaehyun visits most nights, spending his time feeling your welcoming touch in the quiet hum of night. His arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling your back against his body. You hum quietly and turn your body to face him with a sleepy smile. It’s been some time since you’ve accepted your feelings, years you’ve spent watching the beautiful boy in front of you grow. You examine his face for a moment, his chiseled features more prominent than ever. He was no longer the young boy with a naïve smile, you suppose you’ve changed too.

“You look more like a god.” You look up at him, scanning his features in the moonlight. You find your stare lingering for a little too long, a little too close, and a little too obvious because when Jaehyun leans in he laughs in complete delight. His laugh is breathy and sweet, and you cannot stop yourself from smiling. 

He stares at you too, and a moment passes when the two of you say nothing. His eyes sway up and down your face, his expression doing nothing to hide his interest. He looks down at your hands, which at the moment were unsure of where to be. He quickly grasps your hand loosely, intertwining your fingers before looking up at you again. 

“Because of my godly good looks?” He smiles slyly and kisses your hand. It’s quick but there is a warmth that surges through your veins from the same spot. He keeps your hand close enough to his lips so that you may feel the smile that blooms on his face. You roll your eyes, pulling your hand away from his grasp, and sit up from your bed with a pout. 

“You do not act like a god though.” You say jokingly. Jaehyun follows suit, sitting up to place his hands on your shoulder and kiss the nape of your neck. 

“And if we were to act the part we were given, you would be in another man’s bed, and I would be rampaging on the mortals who allowed it.”

You look at him doubtingly, eyes squinted as you lean closer and closer to him, “You wouldn’t dare.”

He closes the gap to a minuscule amount of space. You can feel his breath as he exhales in a breathy laugh that’s comforting in all the ways you knew, “I would if it means I have you.” He leans in to steal another kiss but you pull back to dodge his advance. His look is one of betrayal, a childish pout threatening your composure.

“If you’ll go to such lengths, why have you not stopped my betrothal already. It’s been years. My parents do not wish to have an unmarried 20-year-old. If I had not stalled I would have been bearing a child already.”

Jaehyun frowns at this, the reality of the situation never something he would like to think of. If it were up to him, he would steal you away in the dark of night, and live his days on tending to everything you need in a secluded paradise that was meant for you. But he is a god, and though the power he holds is incredible, everything cannot be up to his desires. 

“I’m trying.” He says curtly, not wanting to talk about the subject. You roll your eyes at this, losing tolerance and patience. 

“Are you?” You question and Jaehyun abruptly turns to you.

“I’ve talked to my father about you, my sister too.” His voice becomes spiteful, but not to you. As if he’s directing his words to the very people he speaks of. You watch his fists clench in disdain and you run your own hand over his in comfort.

“And what do they have to say?” 

“My sister hates mortals.”

You laugh, already knowing this. Gods and goddess did not care for mortals. They were only burdens, pawns of entertainment they may sway and manipulate for their own pleasure. You had no place by Jaehyun, you knew this. When you nod solemnly, Jaehyun goes on, tearing his gaze away from you to the view outside. He watches the starlight pour into the room, wondering how the Gods could create such beautiful things yet have souls as ugly as they are.  

“She wants me to discard of you.” He says and your lips purse. When he turns to you again, his hand raises to your face pulling you in for a kiss. But this did not feel like it was for you. It was meant to send a sign, to show the gods above and below that he wouldn’t stop. When he pulls away your breathless and your skin is hot from his touch. He draws himself away from you with a boyish smile and devious intentions,“I don’t take orders from my sister.” He kisses you again, except with enough force to push you onto your back.

You want to give in, every piece of you does. But when you open your eyes, you are pulled back to the reality of the situation, “But your father? Surely you are obligated to take orders from him.”

“He believes I’m making the biggest mistake any God could make.” He says quickly, before falling into you again. He hopes you don’t catch the way he emphasizes the word “god”. The way he says it with such mischief, it’s impossible to believe he doesn’t have anything planned. But he lies to you, kisses you sweetly to sway you away from the prospect because he knows what you would say. But he wants you too much, he won’t even let you get in the way of it.  

Jaehyun requests an appearance with his father with a plan of action. He will ask him to relinquish his godly status, to strip him of his title, so he may be with you in peace. He expects the reaction he gets, Zeus assuming he’s gone mad. He does not expect his most lethal sibling to be in attendance as well, however. He knows she is there for a reason, and he is sick just thinking of it. 

“Father, Jaehyun loves the humans now. How shameful.” Jaehyun’s sister says in a shrill voice. Gown dragging against the floor. Her voice was sharp, soaked in gasoline and lit a flame to every syllable that passed her lips. Her eyes were vehement, unfaltering even to the strongest warriors. If his father was the single most terrifying in the world, his sister was the second. For she lacked the mercy that many Gods held. She was ruthless in every sense of the word, he could not fathom what she would do to you if she was given the chance. She was a force that was not to be reckoned with, for dire consequence lie ahead if one dared. 

His father stands firmly in front of the young god. His air of calmness brings everything but. He shook the earth with a single breath, his words causing more calamity in its path. “No, Jaehyun loves only one. And perhaps that will be a far bigger mistake.” He replies, his gaze not tearing from his son’s eyes. Jaehyun takes a deep breath, not making the effort to interject, “You realize what you’re giving up, boy. You, a god of light, a god that many gods cannot dream to imitate, want to give all of that up. For a girl?” 

Jaehyun answers with a firm, yes, earning an offended scoff from his sister. His father, however, brings the world to silence with a fist to the wall beside him. Jaehyun’s surprised it doesn’t break beneath his hand, he must have been holding back-he thinks. 

“You are immortal. You will find thousands of women like her. You have the rest of the world to see, she is only a measly part of that. When she grows old and weary, you will not love her anymore, she will be noth-“

“Do not speak of her like that.” The way he says it makes even his sister hesitate. The sheer power that is projected through his words is frightening. His eyes burn with a fire so black, the heat that radiates is lethal. They did not know he could hold such passion, manipulate the tension within the room to the point that it’s suffocating. “I will never live another day of my life without loving her. She is a part of me now, spiting her, you are spiting me. You said it yourself father, I have acquitted much power within myself.”

His father doesn’t say a word for a moment and Jaehyun decides he rather he openly showed his wrath. Because the look that Jaehyun is given is one of pure evil. One that has been stripped of mercy, leaving pour souls dead and buried and rolling through their graves in pain. The look sends regret through Jaehyun in a split second, his breath being stuck in his throat for long he thinks he has forgotten how to in the first place. 

“Even the greatest of gods need to be put in their place.”

When Jaehyun returns to the mortal world, he is broken and beaten. He stumbles into your palace, pushing past servants in a frantic hurry. He falls to his knees, trying to bear the excruciating pain he feels from his father’s hands. Though immortal, he feels as though he might die, and when he thinks of what could possibly happen to you he really thinks he will. For he will take any pain in the world, twice over, every day of his long-lived life, but if your life was jeopardy he doesn’t believe he’ll make it. 

His sudden desire to find you erupts as he watches his sister leave the site in the midst of his punishment with a mischievous grin painted on her face. Her eyes make way to his head between a banister and the grip of his father, dripping with malignant intentions, and a hand raises to wave goodbye to him delicately. It is the same eyes he sees walk past him now, leaving your quarters. They are just as sharp, as lethal as he has always known. But he doesn’t linger long enough to say because soon as he comprehends the weight of the situation before him, he is rushing into your room. 

Though Jaehyun has lived years, upon years of war, of violence, he believes he will never see a sight as terrifying as what’s before him. You lie on your bed, gasping for air, the flowing cloth of your gown becoming soaked in rivers of crimson. A cry escapes Jaehyun’s throat as he runs to your side. He feels himself losing focus, his head dizzying by the second. He lifts you onto his lap, trying to press his hand against the wounds on your body. 

“Would you still choose me?” The way your voice falters with an exhausted push through your chest tears apart his entire resolve. His body shakes as he holds you, tears he didn’t know he could produce falling onto your face. His hand brushes the sweat-soaked strands of hair out of your face, a futile attempt to take away a piece of the discomfort. He begins with an aggressive nod of his head, eyes focusing on your face to keep his attention on the lower half of your body. He didn’t want to see how serious it really was, he didn’t want to know how slim your chances were becoming. 

“Of course, but I suppose you’ve known my choice for a while now.” You smile at this, the pain becoming so lasting, you almost feel numb to it. Jaehyun wonders how you could remain so bright despite the circumstance but he decides that it is precisely why he had loved you so fast and so relentlessly. Your hand meets his where it lays on your cheek and you use all of your power to squeeze it gently.

“So I get to choose then?” You ask, voice getting so faint he must lean in to decipher your words. 

“Yes, you do get to choose.” His voice trembles, teeth pulling his bottom lip in a tight grip. You look away from his face to think for a moment, a quiet hum escaping your lips. He coughs to regain your attention; eyes training themselves back on the beautiful boy that you’ll lose far too soon. You occupy yourself with memorizing the lines of his face, the curve of his lip; the feather-light lashes that brush against his cheekbones. You want to know his face in death, you want his to be the face you’ll greet mere seconds from now, “should I be concerned about your choice?”

You laugh with a shake of your head, your senses becoming duller than you remember. The edges of your vision fade to charcoal blur, yet the fear you once held dissolves into content of where you were.

“No. “ You reply bluntly, aware of the very small window left before you, “I already chose, a decade ago.” Your eyes flutter shut in a helpless attempt to stay conscious, to stay present for him.  He brings both hands to your face frantically, whispering a line of frantic pleas for time. You swear you hear him utter his father's name on a whim to save you. You feel yourself open your eyes once more, “I chose you when we were eleven, I chose you every day I had you, I’ll choose you in death until you come back to me.” 

Jaehyun lets out an exasperated sob as he watches your eyes shut for the last time, and he curses the very core of the earth he walks in. Your body goes limp in his arms yet he continuous to hug you in hopes to feel your arms tighten around him. His voice becomes an incomprehensible string of screams, the bloodcurdling nature informing the rest of the servants who wait outside in fear of what just occurred before them. 

He stays until the crowd dissipates and he’s left with the agonizingly quiet air you have left. His knees bleed a dark crimson from the hours he has spent kneeling on the ground. His voice is coarse, any sign of life escaping as well. The world disappears around him. The ground, the sky, the greenery that lines the edges of your walls, fade into an excruciating oblivion. For when you died, everything that was beautiful and sweet died with you. A conspicuous reminder of the hole you so stubbornly left within the young warrior. 

When you died, Jaehyun dies with you, and in the end, he wonders if it were for the better.

It is the warm spring of your sixteenth year when you find a peculiar boy picking off bites from your father's crop. A boy your age, and radiates a burst of light that illuminated in your presence. He bites from a fig, juice dripping down his face sloppily, but he wipes it off with a smile. 

The way he looks at you hurts, though you aren’t sure why. He looks at you like he’s been waiting for you, and he exhales like he’s been holding his breath until this very moment. He looks as if he’s been searching, searching every day of his life, and he has finally found what he lost. He looks at you and a sudden rush of emotion pushes through you. You do not know what to feel, and you do not know if you want to cry from complete happiness or overwhelming despair. But you’re crying and you do not know why, and this boy in front of you does not look the least bit surprised.

You wipe a tear from your face as you catch your breath and collect yourself. “Do I know you?”

He shines brightly in the dullness that fills your life and a single breath is held in your throat. He moves closer to you with the same smile, one that breaks in you into a million pieces, scatters for him to pick up. And by the way he looks at you, you know he will.

“I am just a friend.”