#i had a dream two nights ago that i was being sexually harrassed by a customer at work

[acrossthewavesoftime]

top five things YOU have written 🫵🫵 that you're ok with sharing ofc :3

That's a very difficult and interesting question, thank you! :) I don't really know if I can pick five and rate them in a set hierarchy. I like many things I write, shorter and longer, finished and unfinished, so here are 5 that come to mind:

I don't write for it very often, but what I write, I enjoy writing a lot. The early 19th century AU which I came up with for @nordleuchten in which a few generations ago the Stuarts managed to produce some sort of heir, making the Hannovarians bog standard German provincial rulers instead of British monarchs. The man you know as George III and his heir, Prinz Georg stand to inherit the throne as it is expected that the Stuart line will come to an end in their lifetime. Georg is pretty much good old Prinny, who however decides to take drastic measures when he finds that being patronised by his dad as a grown man has become insufferable. He decides to take an alias and join the British navy, because what else cries freedom so much as watching romantic sunsets at sea? In the act of leaving clandestinely, he is caught by one Karoline von Braunschweig, a beloathed cousin acting as his mother's lady-in-waiting. Georg takes to life at sea like a duck to water despite the fact that it turns out to be nothing like what he imagined, and becomes a celebrated hero of the Napoleonic Wars. Hijinks ensue when his cover is blown, his brother Ernst tries to take over the succession, and he realises he doesn't actually loathe Karoline, quite on the contrary, really. Karoline meanwhile has to explain a big belly away, and George sails for a place called Trafalgar... It's all delightfully off and the real George and Caroline would probably disapprove, but sometimes, certain AUs are not meant to be very accurate, just a little silly.

Less silly and as far as my research goes, as close to history as possible, my story on Henry Clinton and Mary Baddeley. I have written so much about the two already, it's almost a novel. I am fascinated by the mutual respect, suppressed affection and surprisingly good documentation there is. Theoretically, their relationship is a communist party meeting worth of red flags; a power dynamic between employer and employee, a substantial age gap, Mary being very much reliant on Clinton's protection from beng sexually harrassed by an officer in her husband's regiment and him falling in love with her while she was pregnant with her husband's child are just the most obvious ones. Regardless of all these things, both, given time, found love. Let's hope I will finish it one day so we can have the big budget adaptation i'm dreaming of ever since learning about the two...

I have a similar thing going for the Graveses, which is a little more light-hearted in that both Mrs and Mr Admiral were two very outspoken people, with Margaret in particular passing judgements on people in her letters worthy of Jane Austen novels. There is some tragedy in that they met at a point in their lives where they both seem to have still been processing the death of a beloved loved one, and both helped raise a child that was not their own. Given their eventful lives, bubbly family and their very loud personalities, however, I think this one writes itself a little easier.

A Stuart AU in which Maria Beatrice d'Este, now Queen of England, has had enough. Identifying, in her mind, her husband's unchanging licentious ways as the reason why God takes all her children from her young, she decides to commit regicide when she realises she is pregnant once more, in order to protect this child at least; because if James is dead, he can no longer commits acts displeasing God, right? The flaws in her logic aside, she makes this last desperate attempt to suffocate James, the husband who has abused her for so long, both physically and mentally, in his sleep with a cushion, but fails as he wakes up. Fleeing England in the middle of the night, Maria Beatrice manages to find a passage to the continent and makes it to The Hague, where the Prince and Princess of Orange now have a political scandal on their hands. What ensues is an intense triangular situation in which everyone is faced with ghosts of the past; Maria Beatrice, who never wanted to get married and have children, is faced by the involuntarily childless Mary who would do everything to be a mother; William by his own conduct towards Mary when they were newly-wed, which he finds himself reminded of by some things Maria Beatrice recounts of her marriage, fearing he may have mistreated Mary, and all three of them by the question of who will one day be James' heir, Mary, or the baby, if it turns out to be a boy, Maria Beatrice is about to have? Includes such memorable scenes as the one in which William feeds a toddler potential pretender a waffle while engineering his ascension to the throne during a council meeting (hey, the waffle-thing at least is based on an event and person during his own childhood, so).

I'm currently writing a little something quite light-hearted featuring Louise de Kérouaille and exploring her perspective on her relationship with Charles II, which I find quite delightful.

If any of you want to know something else about the stories (since I don't post them to AO3), feel free to ask. :)

[pseudogaiety]

so im definitely feeling some kind of way. info in the tags.

[charlottemadison42]

On Good Omens and Faith

Here follow personal thoughts on what Good Omens has meant to me as an Exvangelical. There’s a lot of healing & hope here, but it gets a bit dark first, as worthy stories do.

CW: I wasn’t badly spiritually abused in church, but I’ll be discussing things that are spiritually abusive: purity culture, sexphobia, queerphobia, abortion, mild self-harm, failure to treat mental health appropriately, ableism -- plus the special ways church authority makes all of these especially hard.

I’m personally an atheist but this message is not an argument against faith itself, rather against the specific subculture I grew up in. If you are a person of faith you’re welcome here.

I grew up in the American Evangelical subculture of the 80′s and 90′s, in the Keith Green/DC Talk/Left Behind/Veggie Tales era. I got saved at a Carman concert in sixth grade, and re-pledged my faith just to be extra sure every year at summer camp and youth group retreats.

This upbringing is not unusual. Doesn’t make me special. But its effects were real.

I’m finally engaged in a reckoning with it, in the “I should maybe talk this over with a support group or therapist” sense. I was a worship leader and youth leader at a Vineyard church when I left my faith abruptly in 2007*. It took me ten years to tell my family and friends that I was an atheist. For that decade I didn’t think about it -- but when I confessed to my loved ones two years ago, the processing began in earnest.

If you came up Evangelical, you already know how literal our belief in angels and demons can be in certain strains of the church. Until I was 26, I believed they were real entities genuinely and invisibly at war all around me. The End Times were real and we were in them. The Antichrist was whatever high profile democrat could be weaponized at the moment, the Rapture was nigh, and Armageddon was imminent (which explained why tension kept building in the Middle East).

My church community regularly discussed friends and neighbors’ problems in the language of  demon possession or harrassment: depression was a demon, addiction was a demon, promiscuity was a demon. I was part of casual and formal exorcisms and the occasional healing. No holy water, but there were hours of fervent prayers and tears, speaking in tongues and anointing with oil. It’s like a fever dream looking back at it now.**

Shout out to my other teens and tweens of the Frank Peretti era, forbidden from reading books of fantasy any later than Lewis or Tolkein -- Xanth was forbidden, Hogwarts was demonic. We were given instead (retrospectively) horrifying books about spiritual warfare, Christian takes on historical fiction, and end times fantasies. But they weren’t sold as fantasy to us, it was all real. Adults in positions of power confirmed it over and over. Narnia might be allegory but This Present Darkness supposedly illustrated spiritual truths.

I remember telling a trusted church teacher at age 10 or 11 that sometimes I would get scared at night, in the dark, and feel a palpable terror that kept me awake. They told me with no hint of comfort, “That means a demon is visiting you and sitting on your chest, trying to oppress you with fear so you will sin. Don’t wake your parents or read a book, instead you should pray or read only the Bible until the demon is compelled to leave, either by an angel or the presence of God.” This adult was affirmed by amens and mm-hmms.

I took this teaching to heart. I also understood, by implication, that if the bad feeling stayed with me then I was praying wrong -- that no angel would rescue me that night. I knew that my fear as it compounded in the dark was itself a sin that made God harder for me to reach.

These are not things that should be told to children.

Then there were the prophecies. (read more if this resonates with you, if not I’ll clip it here so I don’t take up your whole screen)

Anyone could prophesy in most churches I attended. Dreams were prophecies, visions were prophecies, vague feelings were prophecies. (That gave nightmares / being hormonal / being really hungry an awful lot of sway at Bible study.)

I had a woman prophesy over me weeping, with her hands buried in my hair, that she felt overwhelming grief for my future child. I was 23.

I have no child, and I harbored the secret at the time was that I didn’t want one -- a rebellion for me as a married woman. I feared she was prophesying an abortion in my future, and I was inconsolable for months at the damning choice that would visit me someday. (As of this writing at age 38 I’ve never been pregnant, for which I give all thanks to modern birth control.) I still wonder what happened to that woman’s child, or pregnancy, or perhaps her desire for a child, that this was her prophecy for me.

I heard much darker things prophesied over other people. I remember career changes (ill-advised) and marriages staying together (they shouldn’t have) and mission trips undertaken (that assuredly should not have been) because of prophesies.

Last, of course, I didn’t know it yet but I had many queer friends at the time. Some of them didn’t know it. We had no context in our small town -- and no corners of the internet to hide in and learn context, because the internet didn’t do much more than access our local library catalog at the time. I was told that demons sat on my chest to oppress me as a child, but I was shielded from understanding what a lesbian actually was until I was sixteen.

I remember feeling vaguely guilty when we prayed over this or that person in youth group, entreating God that they could resist their base urges. We prayed that they could choose a life of abstinence if they had to, rather than enter sexual sin and be cast out. I felt guilty but I still joined the circle to pray.

I’m sorry. I was wrong. Part of me knew it at the time. I wish I had listened to that part of me because that it was correct. There are fragments of my former faith I still treasure, but those prayers were rotten to the core.

Sidebar: Luckily that feeling of guilt bloomed quickly into rejecting queerphobic doctrine. By age 20 I decided I could only attend churches that did not preach homophobic takes on scripture from the pulpit, and that did not advocate/imply advocacy for any particular political party. The reason I mention this: if YOU are currently a person of faith in this position, uncomfortable with what you hear from your leadership, go find a church that’s queer-affirming, gives to the poor, and advocates for immigrants. Live in a conservative area? Create or join a home church. That’s what the early church looked like anyway. Don’t shrug off this responsibility. Shine a light.

Anyway. Several years later, I fell.

I had to step down from multiple church leadership positions in one day. My entire life changed in two months; marriage, job, home, friends, everything uprooted when I could no longer pretend to believe. I didn’t tell my family why everything fell apart, even as they let me crash their couches.

I had wanted to be a good believer. I read apologetics, the mystics, eschatology, theophostics. I taught and attended study groups, I took troubled teens out to coffee, I served the homeless, I waited til marriage. I was in church as many as thirty hours weekly. When I first felt my faith slipping I said “not yet,” and I read the entire Bible straight through twice, in different translations, while journaling through “My Utmost for His Highest.” Then, unsatisfied, I read and annotated the New Testament in interlinear Greek. I gave it my everything.

What could replace all that?

Time, it turns out. And freedom.

Freedom to not think about it was perhaps the kindest freedom. The constant labor of self-evaluation and thought policing that goes into Evangelical Christianity is exhausting. Letting it go of it felt like getting my mind back. Or owning it for the first time, since I never knew this freedom before. I had even been seeking counseling because I was hearing multiple voices in my head at once, all mine, often arguing. That problem vanished the hour I deconverted. I heard only one voice anymore, and it was my own.

For ten years I was free to just not think about it.

When I decided to remarry I realized that I didn’t want to explain to anyone why my ceremony would not include prayers or communion. So I told my loved ones at last that I was an atheist, a decade late. They received it graciously, and I’m sure they had known-but-not-acknowledged it for a long time. I hope they don’t worry about me or pray behind my back for my salvation. But if they do I can’t accept responsibility for it anymore.

Since that confession I’ve finally felt compelled to back at what all actually happened in church. It seemed so normal to me at the time. But wait, it wasn’t:

I exorcised people. I laid on hands for healings. I encouraged episodes of religious rapture, falling out, and speaking in tongues, and as a worship leader I knew the music cues to bring them about (yes, there are certain chord and tempo changes for that). I was present for prophecies that changed people’s lives and might have issued some myself, I don’t remember. I alienated people who didn’t fit in, whether because they were queer or just because they didn’t conform to church culture. I witnessed abuse and had no language to report it or even comprehend it. I hurt people. I was hurt.

I was told there were real demons in my room and I had to pray them away all by myself.

The work of undoing this mindf*ck (sorry friends of faith, that’s how it felt) suddenly turned urgent after being ignored for a decade. I can’t afford therapy, but thankfully Twitter chats and message boards and podcasts exist (thank you, @goodchristianfun​ and @exvangelical​).

And then -- out of the blue -- along came my own personal angel and demon, along with Frances McDormand herself. I watched it on a whim. (Actually no, David Tennant’s hair made me.)

Apparently Good Omens had a few things to say directly to my mindf*cked subconscious:

1) Are you scared of demons in a pathological childhood trauma way? Here, have a helping of this amalgam of your favorite Doctor and scariest ever Marvel villain tearing it up as the demon Crowley.

2) Does your mild bookish personality and respect for the culture you grew up in keep you reflexively deferential to authority, even as it gaslights you and hurts others? Enjoy some Michael Sheen as the angel Aziraphale.

3) Are you stuck still mentally assigning a male gender to the god you always claimed was beyond gender? Boom, meet Her in all Her ineffable wisdom.

4) Are you terrified of the End Times, both as a Biblical horror of childhood and as an adult who reads the f*cking news? Let’s fantasize awhile about a solvable apocalypse (because what would that even look like, yo).

5) Do you keep reflexively binarizing good and evil? Still giving in to the temptation to characterize humans as righteous or fallen, especially celebrities and political prospects? Spend some time on Our Side with Adam, the utterly human Antichrist, as he makes choices that matter -- some goodish, some baddish, all with mixed consequences, because that’s what humans do.

6) Do you need more queer love stories in your life? Yes you do. Yes. YES. Here it is. The good stuff. Whether it’s gay, trans, genderfluid, asexual, agender, metaphysical, whatever (I’m enjoying reading all these takes and more on AO3) it’s a hell of a love story.

Good Omens was a f*cking revelation.

I’m not sure why the show hit me as hard as it did in the Exvangelical feels. It’s not that it’s a perfect show, but it was the right thing at the right time for me, and it brought a truck full of dynamite to the excavation I was just beginning with a trowel and a makeup brush. I finished watching ep 6 and thought “why do I feel like I’ll be thinking about this every single day for years?”

And then I looked down, and lo and behold I had an open chest wound -- inside of which I found the banished memory of a child trembling and praying in terror in a dark room.

There was a lot that I forgot about in the ten years it took me to hike away from Evangelical life. It all came rushing back.

I had forgotten the sweat and cries during exorcisms and the heat of laying on of hands. I had forgotten fits of ecstatic tears of self-hatred and self-denial so strong they were almost blissful, as I sang and chanted mantras like “I am nothing, You are everything.” I had forgotten giving away ten percent of my income until I was 26. I had forgotten the constant mental effort of Being A Proverbs 31 Woman, about submission and complementarianism and feeling responsible to guard the virtue of men by never tempting them. I had forgotten the pressure to not even masturbate before marriage and to become a sexual athlete the night after.

I had forgotten the hours and hours of daily prayers. Every phrase was carefully carved in language my superego ran by my doctrine, to make sure no hint of rebellion ever bled through. I washed words of need and doubt and frustration from my mind so they could never slip between me and my Heavenly Father. I didn’t just want to hide thoughts God wouldn’t like, I would have cut them out with violence if I knew how. As a result I picked and ticced and cut and exhibited symptoms of OCD.

It hurt to remember all of this at once during a BBC Amazon Prime miniseries. It confused me. It confused my spouse. I looked at all these feelings, exposed and piled in a massive dirty heap -- and I spotted the straps I used to haul it around with me for decades. Who knew I could carry all that? The weight of faith?

But I don’t have to pick it up again. I had a new story to help me frame my story. I felt equipped with a flaming sword to face my past and a new syntax to describe the old ideas I'm ready to let go of.

I got to recast Heaven and Hell. I was invited to ask myself whether a cozy cluttered bookshop doesn’t beat them both hands down.

I got to reimagine angels and demons, good and bad, intentions and consequences. I was invited to live in the reality that we’re all of us humans in between, and that I’m probably still overinvested in the value of Good and Bad as yardsticks.

I got to reimagine western history. The show’s perspective of history is very limited and Eurocentric, but it’s also the version of history I was taught at an early age, which made the story a useful lens to deconstruct what I learned before I knew much about critical thinking.

The opening of Episode 3 in particular f*cked me up. First Aziraphale lies to God and She vanishes, then Crowley starts poking holes in the story of the Flood, then at the Crucifixion -- I started breathing hard on my first viewing, experiencing a real physiological threat response. I was loving it, of course, but distressed panicky love.

The second time I watched it I realized what was happening: I was going back to Sunday School to revisit ideas I absorbed before I was fully sentient, and examining them in the light of fully formed adult secular morality. They look different from here.

When God withdraws Her presence from Aziraphale in the first few moments of Ep 3 as he prevaricates (well, lies) I remembered the one great fear of my faithful life: that I could sin a particular sin and as punishment I would be cut off from God’s presence. As a believer in the End Times, that meant the Rapture could occur at any moment and I might be rejected, be left behind to experience the Tribulation.

Now, from some remove, I realize that I always had one fear larger. It’s a thought I never allowed myself to entertain consciously. Good Omens unearthed it like a vein of flowing lava:

If the Apocalypse as my church describes it is real, how could God want it to happen? And if God does, is this a God I want to worship? If I don’t, but I’ll be damned for that, is my faith freely chosen?

Whose side could I really be on, in the End Times, if not Heaven’s or Hell’s?

These are not small questions.

I’m relieved that I answered them a long time ago for myself.

But even after the answering, there’s fallout; a million little knots to untie and ideas to unlearn. We all get to spend our lives doing this sort of archaeological dig through our childhood baggage, I suppose. My Stuff is certainly not unique. It’s just a lot. Same as everyone’s.

But once in awhile a story comes along and helps us with the process. A sharper spade, a better tool for the work. In my case, through Good Omens I received demolition-grade explosives. It gave me a framework, characters, and a personal shorthand to speed my own digging and contextualize what I find.

If your history is kinda like mine -- whether you’re still in the faith or not -- be sure to talk to someone about church stuff from your past. The weird stuff, the dark stuff, the things you did/people did to you that now seem “off.” Even if you’ve grown past the point of “mental illness requires an exorcism” there are still dangerous ideas buried like land mines in our moral matrices. Self-hatred, intolerance, fear of abandonment, fear that failure is damnation, presumption that “we’re” on the “right side” of everything and “they’re” not, fear that we the apocalypse Is Written by powers above and so we can’t change it.

I’m so happy I know a story with an Our Side now.

I’m so happy I know a story in which the true test of devotion to God’s Ineffable Plan is turning away from the dictates of Heaven and turning toward the World.

I’m so glad I met Aziraphale -- so like me, still seeking Heaven’s approval far too late in the game. I’m so grateful he found the courage to walk away, and I’m so glad I did too. I love that I know Crowley now, self-pwning lovelorn disaster demon of minor inconveniences and imagination and free will. I’m so happy Crowley was there to tempt his friend with questions from the start, and to receive him when he was finally ready to break away.

I’m so proud to know Adam and the Them and Anathema and Newt, inept humans trying their hardest against unstoppable cosmic forces, getting it right not just despite their flaws but through and because of them.

I’m so grateful I’ve finally managed to completely swap to female pronouns for God (thanks, Frances). I still love stories about Her, I still enjoy talking theology and religion. And after 20+ years of insisting God is above gender but masculinizing him, it’s about time I switch to thinking of God as Her for a spell to even things out.***

I’m so thankful for the nicest fandom I’ve known in ages and all the glorious queer beautiful amazing body-positive art and writing growing in this fabulous garden.

Confession accomplished.

CM

P.S. I might not have the time/resources you need to chat with you if you’ve had similar experiences or want to discuss. If you need help be sure to reach somewhere healthy to get it. If you witness abuse, online or in church or otherwise -- report it, block it, mute it, shut it down, whatever is in your power.

P.P.S. If you have words of rebuke for me from a churchy place, and/or critiques about gender or politics, sorry, don’t give a f*ck. This is my story to tell and I am secure in my spiritual status. I am free indeed.

++++++++++++++

*Re. Deconversion: Or rather, I had my faith zapped out of me in what turned out to be the truest rapturous religious experience of my life. It happened in a church service; I almost fell out and spoke in tongues with the tingling power of understanding that I was truly and finally faithless. It’s an interesting deconversion story if you're familiar with charismatic church stuff, ask me sometime over tea. It felt like this.

**Re. Exorcisms: Most disturbing was the regular practice of exorcising people who clearly needed professional help for their mental health. I was present when prayers against demons happened over cases of depression, manic depression, epilepsy and other seizures, addiction, schizophrenia, and psychotic episodes. My particular church did acknowledge the role of modern medicine, but felt that the true core of these issues was spiritual and that medication ultimately could not solve a problem of demonic infestation. Looking back now I shudder and weep to think that this happened, that I was part of it once, and that it still happens daily at churches everywhere. It can be unspeakably damaging to the people being prayed over. If this practice happens in your church, leave. If it happens at a church where you’re in leadership, end it.

***Re. God as She/Her:  I encourage you to find your own appropriate pronouns for God, whether you believe in Them or not. For me personally, still reeling from the Proverbs 31 upbringing, She/Her is very healing for now. But gender is a construct etc. etc.

[randombtsprincessa]

Adulation

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Kim Taehyung x Reader (2nd POV)

Words: 24.8k

Genre: Angst/Smut

Summary: Your Actor Charge seems to have a gigantic crush on you. When a blast from the past hit you both, will you stay? Or will you leave?

Warning: Mentions of Sexual Harrassment, Taehyung is a hot jerk, Pool Make Out, Reader is kind of a jerk too, Sasaeng activity, jealousy, drunk fighting, Dom! Reader (Kinda), Sub! Tae (Kinda), Mild Nipple Play (Male Receiving), Fingering, Protected Sex, Sexual themes.

A/N: I know, I’m sorry.

A loud blare went through the night, shrill and ear piercing, making the huddled up and covered figure jolt in bed. Your quiet cocoon shivered before groaning, a hand appearing from an opening in the burrow and feeling about for the infernal device.

The moment your fingers brushed the case, you yanked it inside the darkness enveloping you. the sound of wires pulling away and the charger dropping to the crowded nightstand made you grunt again but you could care less at the moment as you swiped at the accept option without opening your eyes completely.

The person on the other side of the line started talking immediately; not even waiting for you to say ‘hello’ and the sharp panic in the voice only made you wince; trying to crawl away from it.

“Stop, stop, stop…! I am not getting in a word of what you’re saying and I have no idea who you are so if you don’t take it down a notch and start from the top I’m hanging up and turning my damn phone off.” You snapped, knowing fully you couldn’t do anything like that.

The voice took a deep breath and sighed.

“It’s me, and I did it. Today, right now, I just submitted the letter and I am, for lack of a better word, fucked.”

You sighed, discerning your friend’s voice and pushed yourself towards more consciousness.

“What happened?” you asked, pulling a hand down your face.

“Ok, so I went up to the man and handed in my notice and he read through it – he actually read through it – and then tells me that I can’t quit because there’s a clause in our contract that basically means the previous manager can’t quit unless he finds another and he hasn’t found another and so I can’t leave.”

“How did you not know this clause?” you asked.

“I don’t know! I was so hyped about leaving I didn’t talk to his lawyers.”

“Mil,” you sighed, and she returned it equally.

“I know, I know what you’re going to say but please, you need to help me,” she begged.

“What can I possibly do?” you asked, horror creeping through to you at the thought of whatever it was she was going to ask you to do.

“Please, it’s only for a few days till he finds someone, till then I just need you to fill in for me. You know I can’t let this new job go…I mean it’s Minho for God’s sake! I’ll do anything.”

You glanced at the digital clock next to you. 2:13, the brilliant letters told you and you shook you head. It was too early for this.

“I don’t do temp jobs anymore, Mil. Those days are long gone. Besides I’m on vacation. I just started a day ago; I cannot just start a new job out of nowhere…especially temporarily.”

“I know, Y/N, I know, I just…oh come on, this is a once in a lifetime thing for both of us. If you work with him, you can work with anyone and his name on your resume is going to make it stellar.”

“I already have a stellar resume. I don’t need to add his name to it. You’re going to have to ask someone else.” You said; about to pull away from the conversation, ready to sleep again.

“Consider this a favor then, I’ll owe you. Take him on permanently. Both of you will be a whole lot better for it and who knows, you might just put him straight and enjoy doing it. Plus it’s you, you have a glowing reputation and he’d be a bigger idiot than he is to let you go. He’d even let you set the terms.” Your friend said finally.

You could tell it was a last desperate attempt and even though your better judgment told you to tell her no and hang up, your sleep deprived state was looking for ways to make this conversation end as soon as possible. You didn’t know if Mil was going to just give up and you didn’t look forward to having this one again.

“Fine, I’ll do it but it has to be all in the way I want it, ok?” you said, gritting your teeth at having to wake up at a reasonable hour again but you heard the distinct relief in hers.

“Oh my god, thank you, Y/N! Yes, he’ll play nice, I promise. You won’t regret it, I swear.” She said.

I already do, you thought grimly.

Even as the line went dead and you were left to ponder about either going to bed or getting some work done now that you were going to be employed again you smacked your head with the heel of your palm.

“What did you just do, you fool?” you griped at yourself.

Working within the circles of celebrities and the upper elite had always been your forte, given your skills of talking someone into doing stuff and eloquent manner. It had been your calling and you loved it.

You had worked from the very bottom the moment you’d left university, taking the experience you’d had being TAs and applying it to manage and acting as secretary to lower and upper socialites.

You had been successful in proving yourself, working your way up the ladder of the elite, from low level CEOs and COOs to high level corporate owners.

Your resume was filled with credentials and financial help from the very best and slowly, the Entertainment Industry started to set their eyes on you, hiring you to work their PR and to manage their celebrities and artists.

It had taken a while, but now you had the financial means and street name to take and own your clientele.

And it was a very impressive clientele, ranging from professional Entertainment company owners to famous artists. Your last client, Kim Jennie had hired you to manage her entire American tour and it had pulled off spectacularly. Grateful and leaving with a good bond, she’d offered you a nice long vacation period and you’d accepted generously.

You’d now have to deposit the money in the bank, you decided, your brain categorizing your work now that you had some to do again.

You loved your work, no denying it, since it kept you within the world of the stars but there was always the exhaustion and dealing with things that put many a dark circles under your eyes.

Deciding to forego sleep for the time being and adding it to the contract you’d draw up; you pushed away the blankets, reaching for the laptop on the other side of the bed.

Yes, the other side of your king sized bed was taken up by the only significant other you had in your life right now; work. It was the mark of how you lived in opulence by working your ass off.

An hour on the laptop later, the money you’d earned from Jennie and the vacation pay off were safely in your growing bank account and after signing off at various charities that you supported, you’d turned to searching for the name you were going to work for next: Kim Taehyung.

You had heard of him of course, everyone had.

Kim Taehyung was an extremely established person in the world of the performing arts. He was an actor, model, singer, photographer and painter. He was basically an all rounder in the entertainment world and his company, Big Hit raked in tons of money from his endeavors alone.

He ranked on the list of richest men and the most handsome faces every year, not to mention he was the supreme dream boat, wet dream to the collective female population of the world.

He was too good to be true to be very honest.

But you…you were privy to the news from the underbelly of the entertainment world and yes, you knew for a fact that he was too good to be true.

Kim Taehyung was absolutely filthy and you weren’t talking about his money or looks.

From what the whispering mouths of his staff relayed to their friends and they relayed to their friends, Kim Taehyung was a serial womanizer, flirted with anything that moved and was the epitome of an inappropriate spoiled brat.

That told you everything you needed to know about people like him: talent wasn’t shit if the package was rotten.

And you were about to be employed to him…

If you were a masochist, you’d agree with Mil and enjoy being employed by a giant douche, but you could already see the massive amount of control you’d have to have over the contract and the man himself. Reeling him in would be cheaper than the damage control he did probably.

You lingered on a particular picture of him, maybe by a fan cam in which he was just turning, giving a glorious view of his profile, chiseled and drool worthy.

You idly wondered how many pregnancy scares and blackmail he handled on the daily basis then shuddered, putting the thought away until you had to be the one doing it for him.

Basically Kim Taehyung was Tony Stark before Iron Man and Pepper Potts.

You were not happy at that prospect at all.

The marble flooring of the halls of Big Hit echoed the sounds of your footsteps way too loud for your sleep deprived ears as you marched your way down to the main office for the contract negotiation.

You were dressed as austerely as possible, your outfit reminiscent of a funeral but you did not want to encourage any nonsense from the lawyers.

If the man was as bad as rumors denoted, you had to be very cautious in what the lawyers tried to lure you in. you planned to be the one with the higher hand in every key of the contract and you weren’t going to take no for an answer.

Your hand reached out for the steel handle to the double doors and you pushed it open, sticking your head around the corner.

To your relief, your lawyer was already present inside, staring out the glass windows. At the other side of the long pale wood table sat two more suited men, one flipping through a black folder and another murmuring to the first one. They looked up at your entrance and the cursory frown vanished from their faces.

“Ah, you must be Miss Y/L/N,” the first stood up, making your lawyer turn to look at you too.

Park Chanyeol walked over to you, hand emerging from his pocket to encase yours.

“Y/N,” he said warmly and you returned the handshake, smiling up at him.

“Bet you weren’t expecting that call, huh?” You asked.

“Well, you’re my friend before my client and although I wish you would take some time off, I can’t deny your workaholic self pays my bills.” He chuckled before lowering his voice. “Still, I wasn’t expecting this.” he said.

“Blame it on too much stress and not enough rest.” You returned, eyeing the men watching you two.

“You’re only going to get more stress with this one.” He warned.

“That’s why you’re here.” you told him, dropping his hand to finally face Big Hit’s lawyer.

“Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N,” You said, forwarding your hand to shake theirs and the other man took it first, looking at you curiously.

“You’re quite young, if you don’t mind me saying so. When we got your references, I pictured you older.” He said.

“Yes, I get that a lot but trust me; I probably look older than I am. The type of work I do tends to do that to you.” you said, shrugging.

“I’m sure it does,” the man laughed. “I’m Bang Sihyuk, owner and CEO of Big Hit Entertainment.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” you said, looking at the other man who took your hand next.

“Park Jinyoung, pleasure’s all mine, and what exactly would you say you do?” he asked.

You flashed him a wide grin, glad he wanted to get to the point fast. “Everything that is needed to be done,” you replied.

A flash of confusion passed his face and he glanced at his boss before gesturing for us to take the chairs.

“I’m a little confused. I thought you were a manager.” He said, pulling out a pen and clicking it open.

Chanyeol took the seat beside me as we faced them.

“That’s correct. My primary work function is of a manager but I do more than just managerial duties. I’ve broadened a few of my horizons and now I can also assist, handle public relations, the image of a person and assorted media duties.” You said, watching him raise his eyebrows, making a small note in the folder.

“Provided it is only one person, she is not going to offer more services if more than one party are involved.” Chanyeol put in quickly and Jinyoung nodded.

“Naturally,”

“Miss Y/L/N, as I have it, you are the replacement Mil is offering in return for giving her notice, as a forward on her clause of duties? To be honest, you’re a little over qualified to be working a temporary job.” Jinyoung said.

“I’m not going to work a temp job. I will take the job of permanent staff for the contractual period.” You explained and both men exchanged looks.

“I have the initial draw of the contract my client wishes to present.” Chanyeol indicated the folder in front of Jinyoung who nodded reading through it again.

“Most of the keys benefit you,” he shot at you and I smiled at sweetly as I could.

“Well, I was supposed to be on vacation and I’m doing this as a favor especially for a man who is known for being troublesome.” You leant back in your seat. Jinyoung opened his mouth but Sihyuk made a motion.

“That’s acceptable; we could use someone of your caliber in this position. I just hope you can handle it.” Sihyuk sighed and I immediately knew that Taehyung was more than a handful.

And speaking of the devil…

The doors flung open and a loud cry of ‘Please, Mr. Kim!’ announced the arrival of Kim Taehyung himself.

“Hey people!”

You turned to get the first in person look at Kim Taehyung and you had to say, you were pretty freaking impressed.

The tall dark haired man, his sleek built emphasized by the expensive sweater and jeans would’ve been enough to catch eyes but the face was where your eyes stopped.

You could’ve spent hours describing Kim Taehyung but you decided to categorize his face in one department: Fucking Gorgeous.  

He grinned widely, a boxy smile revealing teeth as he beamed good naturedly at the group of people collected in the room and for a second you doubted everything you’d ever heard about the man. Surely this beautiful angel of a man with that childlike smile and twinkle in his eyes couldn’t be as devilish as the tabloids and his own staff bemoaned.

“I heard you were getting me a new babysitter and I couldn’t sit this one out. The last one left me high and dry.”

The doubts cleared from your mind like someone wiped them over with a wet cloth and your lips pursed at the blatant innuendo. You knew that Mil was definitely a woman of honor and wouldn’t have encouraged any sexual harassment. So, that rested your mind that Kim wouldn’t be used to something like that but with that face you knew he got enough sex.

Mr. Sihyuk winced loudly and gave you an apologetic look.

“Taehyung, this is Y/N Y/L/N, she has agreed to take you on a client in Mil’s absence.” He introduced and Taehyung swung around to look at you.

You watched him blankly as he took you from head to toe, clicking his tongue once.

“She’s pretty but eh,” he loudly whispered to Jinyoung, making your eyes flit to him in reflex and to maybe also see his reaction to understand if you were going to be cornered against Kim Taehyung.

If that was the case, with everyone taking the corner of their Golden Child and ganging up on you, you were glad that Taehyung had shown up. This would give you a feel for your colleagues and you’d walk away with zero hesitation, saving yourself and the people working for you, like Chanyeol some major headache.

Jinyoung for his part only looked away from Taehyung, choosing to instead flip through your contract and avoid everyone’s gaze.

There was a pause in which everyone waited for a reaction, something to explode maybe, for the ball to drop.

Taehyung was blatantly grinning at his CEO who looked uncomfortable and both lawyers looked away from everyone, Chanyeol already looking like he wanted to be dead asleep while you chose to simply watch Taehyung.

His stance was easy as if he’d been in this position tons of time, CEO in the room and people’s discomfort choking the air. He was obviously spoilt by everyone because even though nobody wanted to say it out loud, he paid everyone’s bills in the company and lorded over the fact that he was their most important piece, the other artists simply pawns on the chessboard.

He was basically one of the sons of your earlier powerful bosses, who seemed to think they had some right over you because you worked for their fathers. Well, he was only… ‘More’…

So, if that’s how he wanted to play this…

“If you’re looking for the sexual harassment clause it’s at the very end.” You spoke up, arms resting gently on the chair handle and legs crossed, leaning back easily to display a position of power, of detachment.

Mr. Sihyuk immediately spluttered, Jinyoung sighed and Taehyung raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t usually put one of those in a first draft contract, I usually feel out the place and people before going to that but I’m sure you’ll understand why I made an exception in this case.” You said.

Mr. Sihyuk was already opening his mouth to protest but I ran over him, turning to Taehyung instead.

“You just made my foresight worth the time, Mr. Kim.”

“Miss Y/L/N, I assure you,” Mr. Sihyuk began but this time it was Taehyung who cut him off.

“Calling someone pretty is inappropriate now?” he asked.

“Certainly not, but whatever else you had in mind definitely would’ve been. This just ensures that we both keep our minds on work.”

You turned to look at Chanyeol.

“I think we have what we need.” You said and he nodded, swiping the drafted copy from under Jinyoung’s fingers.

“I can have the final contract done and ready to sign by both parties by the end of the week.” He said.

You looked at Bang Sihyuk who glanced back at Jinyoung and then nodded.

“That works for us. Welcome to Big Hit, Y/N.” he said.

You nodded and were about to turn to Chanyeol to leave when a hand forwarded itself into your line of sight. You followed it to see your prospective charge, eyeing you with a decided gleam in his eye.

“I’m going to enjoy working with you, Miss Y/L/N.” he said, his voice dripping with courtesy.

You stared at him for a full half minute before taking his hand in a grip that was harder than necessary. “I look forward to it.” you grinned, revealing your teeth just as he had done and you swore you saw his eyes briefly flash to your mouth, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand as he pulled away.

“Y/N,” Chanyeol said and you nodded, following him as he opened the door for you, letting you out of the conference room.

You could feel Kim Taehyung’s eyes boring into the back of your head but you could only smirk.

If that’s how he wanted to play this…you were game.

The loud cheering from the arena perforated the concrete walls of the stage building, letting everyone hear the craze that Big Hit’s concerts generated in – what was the number? – Thousands of people, maybe even millions…

You picked up your phone to check the time, wincing at the horrifying hour and then reminded yourself that in a few minutes Taehyung would be on the stage and you would have some time to at least make a coffee run.

Your contract had been that of the lowest possible time period, since you were one of the most sought after Managers in the industry, your demand had risen till it had started to stress you out, forcing you to increase your time period working for one person or company at a time. Before you were with one job for just two years minimum but not you stayed for five years.

This allowed you a lot of time to get comfortable with your work and employer and also let you earn enough to give you some time off for at least a month or so.

However now that you were tied to Big Hit and Kim Taehyung for five years, it seemed that Taehyung was hell bent on making those five years as nerve racking and ragged for you as possible.

He made you come for him during hellish hours of the night and morning, just because he wanted supplies that he left or forgot and he got struck with inspiration.

He had stupid demands as to his diets and drinks and you’d caught him devouring a whole fried chicken bucket when he’d sent you to get him a cherry tomato salad. On confronting, he’d mocked you on how you’d been too late.

It had taken you a few weeks to figure out a pattern for Taehyung’s seemingly unpredictable antics and whims.

You started to be more prepared and kept anything and everything that he could ask for close at hand, foodstuffs, drinks, etc. when he called you about wanting supplies for his art, you happily told him you stocked up his house full of those and then hung up on him. He’d stopped calling after a few weeks of that. If he wanted to ruin his outfits ‘accidentally’ and wanted the exact outfit, you always had a replica and if he tried to frighten a poor stylist into changing his outfit at the very last minute, you stepped in almost harshly, crushing his dreams of seeing the girl squeak in fear.

Now after six months, he was still as annoying, spoilt, and bratty and showed zero change in attitude but you’d learned to grit your teeth and grin and just handle it, quickly and swiftly detracting his idiosyncrasies and phases. You still got sick and tired of him but he’d learned to mellow down nowadays, quietly agreeing to what you told him and not throwing as many tantrums as he used to.

A few girls from the staff had complimented you on your iron fist on the wild man but you knew better.

Taehyung was still flirty, teasing, and touchy to a limit that just drew the line at your clause of sexual harassment and that glint you’d caught in his eye that first day never dimmed whenever he set his eyes on you, followed by a boxy grin that was still reminiscent of an adorable child’s.

No, Kim Taehyung was a caged tiger and he was just looking for a way to escape your iron fist.

You sighed when the crowd cheering increased, almost shaking the foundations of the building, which meant that Taehyung had made it to the stage.

Sure enough, you heard his deep bass voice calling for a louder cheer and the usual babble of ‘I can’t hear you’ and ‘you can do betters’.

“Hey, Y/N,” you looked up with a tired smile at one of the other managers of the singers with Big Hit.

“You look like hell, you should go home.” She said, concerned.

“Oh, I’ll just get a coffee,” you waved it away but she just shook her head.

“No, no, you look almost dead on your feet and I know Taehyung is more than two handfuls. You go on home now, I’ll take care of everything here.” she said.

“It’s Taehyung,” You reminded her pointedly and she gave you a grim smile which showed that she knew exactly what she going into.

“I know that but if you fall ill then we’ll have to deal with him longer. Just take some downtime and get back soon. He’s a lot more amenable when you’re around and he won’t be as good a boy with you sick or gone too long.” She said.

You stared at her to see if she meant what she was saying before rubbing your eyes and nodding.

“You’re sure?” You asked one last time.

“Yes! Go girl, and hurry back,” she said and without another word you grabbed your bags and hurried out, the work car Big Hit had given you for privacy and protection already waiting for you at the front door.

You nodded at the driver’s question about heading home and shot a text to Taehyung’s phone, notifying him that you were leaving and that you weren’t feeling up to more work tonight.

You just hoped he would understand although you didn’t let yourself hope too much.

So imagine your surprise when you managed to spend an entire night with no calls from Kim Taehyung and his unreasonable demands. All except a somewhat grumpy message telling you to take the weekend off but show up at his place first thing on the next work day.

“…And to the most courageous person we know, a toast to honor her patience!”

Your head turned as one of your friends made a loud crowing call, the table you were sitting at with your friends in your favorite club rearing with supportive cheers as they all raised their glasses.

As per Taehyung’s text, you had taken a whole of two days off, an invitation from all your very busy and hard working friends to join them for long overdue drinks being the only thing that dragged you out of your bed.

You laughed as Chanyeol and Mil let out loud cries of ‘Hear, hear!’ and banged their fists on the table.

“Hats off to you, babe, I would not know how to handle him for five fucking years!” Jae told you.

“It’s the lowest number of years I have to work, you guys!” You returned.

“Doesn’t matter; anyone who willingly signs up with Kim Taehyung is a saint!” Mil said, immediately getting hushed by your more sober friends.

His name ringing outside would get your band of friends’ attention you didn’t want and would also lead to an article that could get you all kicked out.

“So, Y/N, what’s your secret, yoga?” Jae continued.

“Nope, I just learnt how to manage him.” You winked for their benefit and the buzzed crowd erupted again.

“Aww, sounds like someone has a wee little soft spot for their new manager.” One of the girls teased Mil who scoffed.

“Honestly, I don’t mind him having a crush on Y/N, as long as he doesn’t make me get up at 2 AM just to get him a fucking berry smoothie.” Mil shuddered amid sympathetic noises.

“Y/N, what would you do if he did have soft spot for you?” Chanyeol wiggled his eyebrows, teasing you about the spectacle Taehyung had created during your first meeting.

“Does it matter? I need money, not boys. I think I can work something.” You replied.

“Be careful though, he’s a vindictive jackass. Do you know one of his stylists once told him blue wouldn’t be a good color on him and he dyed his hair blue! He did it, literally out of the blue!” Mil said.

“I saw those pictures, he looked good,” Jae said.

There was a pause in which everyone turned to look at Jae who looked up from his glass at us then shrugged. “What, the dude may be an ass but he’s also got a great ass. You’d have to be blind and dumb to not want yourself a piece of that.” He said.

There was another, longer pause as people considered what he just said then shrugged too, picking up their glasses to swig at them.

“Well, he’s not wrong.” One of your friends mumbled, making Mil choke and splutter.

“Excuse you, no, no he’s wrong! You do not want to be anywhere near that, no matter how hot he is. Trust me, as someone who’s been through all his dirty fucking laundry, he’s got some very bad shit going on with himself.”

“Does he not have a dick?” Chanyeol asked, making Mil grimace at him.

“No, that he does, I’m just saying he’s not very concerned with what and who he sticks it in.” Mil said.

“Aww, Mil, don’t judge a guy for having sex.” Jae groaned.

“The woman turned out to be a Sasaeng who had stalked him before. He was too drunk to recognize her and when he woke up next to her in the morning he made me come over to make her leave because she wouldn’t. She hit me and left a bruise and also stole a few of his clothes. We had to track her and bury the issue. It took me weeks.” Mil said, anger slurring her words as she glared at Jae so hard he cowered.

She turned to me.

“He hasn’t done Sasaengs in a while now but still, he’s the worst dick you could want in you. I won’t say he’s a walking STD, but,” she shrugged as if that was exactly what she was saying.

Your friends took a minute to process this before a girl beside Jae piped up.

“I heard he wasn’t always that bad.” She said, swirling the glass in her hand as she nervously spoke up.

Mil looked at her as if she was going to say something but then nodded.

“One of my seniors was a supervisor to the current Head Stylist of Big Hit and when a lot of scandals with Taehyung dropped I heard her talking about how he was a lot better when he was a trainee.” The girl continued before looking up, cheeks reddening.

“I heard her talking about the woman who scouted him and then ruined him.”

You clinked your nails against the tip of your glass, already wondering if you were going to regret hearing this, but you were too enthralled, too interested in the underlying notes of your boss to care.

The girl stopped, perhaps for effect and the taps of your nails hardened, waiting impatiently for her to speak up.

“Has anyone heard of Yubin?”

For a second, a brief vision of a tall, beautiful woman rose up in your brain, too vague and distorted from years of unheard from absence.

People exchanged looks before Mil rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I knew Yubin, just as she retired.”

“She didn’t retire. She just stopped working.” The girl countered.

“Nobody cares, what of her?” Jae cut in.

“Well, she’s from Daegu, right, that was where she found Taehyung. She was appearing at her university and met him and brought him to Seoul to train. I don’t know when or how they must’ve started dating but once they did, he started to become moody and reserved. Soon enough they announced that they were dating and I think Taehyung was close to proposing but they broke up and she disappeared. Apparently it broke him. So he went off on a long, long bender and came back with this whole persona.”

Your clinking stopped as you went over the information, trying to match it from any article you might’ve read. This was all still back when you were in the business circles and didn’t keep up much with the entertainment side of life.

“Now Taehyung is the biggest star there is and she’s nowhere to be found.” The girl finished.

You dropped your gaze to the table, realizing you had been just made privy to information about your boss that he might not want you to know, something private from a older colleague of Taehyung had just been passed around as Over the Table gossip.

“Well, guys, it’s time for me to go, I’m supposed to start work and I’d rather not go in to him with a hangover.”

“Don’t be surprised if he has one too,” Mil said, standing up to hug you as you passed through goodnights and ‘see you later’ from the rest of the table.

You groaned with relief as you pulled off your heeled boots, flopping down into the plush of your couch and leaning your head back, eyes closed as you rolled your feet to work out the tension from having been in the death traps you wore.

Your mind was screaming at the thought of having to turn up at Taehyung’s penthouse in the morning but this was what you had signed up for.

Wondering what terror he has planned for you for taking time off, you removed what was left of your make up and showered.

The ding of your phone on the counter notified you of a text and you hurriedly exited, wrapping yourself in a towel and checking it.

The appearance of Taehyung’s face on the screen, made you gasp, pulling away and tightening your grip on the towel, thinking he’d video called you. It wasn’t until you noticed the play button on the tip of his nose that you realized it was a video message.

Grumbling at the scare, you pressed it, watching Taehyung as he adjusted himself in bed, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. Your first thought was whether he’d sent you a post jacking off video accidentally until he opened his mouth, the familiar grin and wicked glint filling his eyes as he finally turned his attention to the camera of the phone.

I hope you had a good weekend, Miss Y/L/N. I expect you to come for me bright and early tomorrow.

You raised your eyebrows as he paused unnecessarily after ‘come for me’ and rolled your eyes as he ended the video with a wink and bite of him lips, the screen darkening with a replay sign on it that you ignored.

Was it really a persona? Or had fame finally made its way to Kim Taehyung’s mind and it was a fantasy of women who wanted to ‘fix’ him?

Maybe you’d never know.

As expected of you, the next morning you arrived at Taehyung’s palatial building with a very mild throb in your head that you were sure would go away with a little TLC.

Flashing your ID at the front desk, you waited for the elevator to ding at Taehyung’s floor, your head idly lying against the cool metal, wondering what you were going to be greeted with it when you set foot on his granite flooring.

The image of Taehyung with mussed hair and swollen lips certainly made you wonder if he had been alone or even if he was then what he had been doing, a thought that you had jolted yourself out of in horror. Shaking your head like a dog, you a straightened as the ding in the metal box indicated you were where you had to be.

You poked your head out, looking around to see the spacious first floor seemingly empty and stepped out.

“Mr. Kim, it’s me,” you called.

Walking with an almost relieved sigh to his seating, you dumped the bags you were carrying onto the couches.

At first thought, anyone would think that Taehyung’s house would be cool and chic like how he acted or if the people who he interacted with had to guess, it would be something out of the Fifty Shades setting. However, you had been pleasantly surprised to see that Taehyung’s personal space was very homey and cozy, decorated tastefully in equal measures of colors, austere, wood, metal and stone.

The living room had floor to ceiling windows that depicted a stunning profile of the Seoul skyline and often times that you’d been there with him droning on you’d found yourself gazing out of them, soaking in the sight that your windows, though decent and well paid for, were unable to offer you.

You were well off and doing damn good, you just weren’t there yet to purchase a pent house, so this was your closest best bet.

“I know,” you heard him say from behind you and turned, immediately freezing to see him walk downstairs, in a loose set of tracks and his torso bare.

“Good…morning,” you said, looking over his shoulder, waiting for his conquest of the night to come downstairs but it wasn’t until he’d reached the bottom stairs and walked over to you, visage similar to the video he’d sent that you realized that he’d come alone.

“Waiting for someone?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder as well.

Busted…

“Is there someone I should be waiting for? Or rather, be prepared for…?” you countered and Taehyung smirked.

“I would like to see that, how you prepare for one of my one night stands.” He replied, taking a step closer and you rolled your eyes, feeling the throb in your head increase.

Great that was a no go for that TLC.

“Unless you bring home some psycho who I have to sue then you won’t be seeing much.” you said, about to turn around before pausing.

“Have you even taken a shower?” you asked.

Taehyung gave you a level look. “I haven’t slept with anyone, Y/N.” he said, voice grumbling again and you shrugged, digging around in one of the bags for his fresh laundry. You tossed him a clean white shirt.

For his part, Taehyung looked equal parts amused and annoyed with you as usual as you sat in your spot, where you could watch the view clearly before pulling out your phone.

“Any particular reason why you called me in so early…? You know, aside from bringing you your laundry, because delivery costs you so much.”

“Delivery people aren’t nearly as cute as you,” Taehyung teased, a quirk to his thinner upper lip that you didn’t deign to acknowledge. “I’ve got an invitation. It’s for the Film Festival. I’m sure Big Hit would tell you to take care of it anyway but I wanted to let you know about the details. I don’t want you to screw anything up.”

You gave him a venomous smile.

“As you wish, Mr. Kim,”

Your employer looked dubiously at you for a long while before shrugging, seating himself opposite you and pushing a docket of pamphlets at you. Spying the name Film Fest on it you carefully began to arrange them, studying each paper with a keen gaze and making notes in your phone about changes or payments that you were sure you needed to have done.

The Film Festival was one of the big events in the entertainment world, picking exotic or picturesque locations to invite local and international stars to grace its carpets, screenings and preview nights one of the candies offered while the earnings off of the event itself could feed a large family for a year.

It was mega huge to be invited, and of course Kim Taehyung would be on the list.

Taehyung lounged in the armchair opposite you, eyeing you with interest, watching you work for him.

“How have you been?” he asked suddenly.

Your attention diverted for a second, fingers pausing in their busy work of noting down important information as you shot him a puzzled look.

“Your health, you were sick.” He clarified

A delicate snort rose up to your lips but you quelled it in the last minute, instead choosing to shrug your shoulders as you returned to the papers in your hands.

“I’m fine now,” you said quietly, finally closing you notes app and shuffling the sheets so they would stay in a proper sequence.

“What happened to you?” he demanded next.

“I work, Mr. Kim, I get tired. I needed a little time off. You were generous to provide that, thank you.” you said, wondering if he could sense the underlying tones of sarcasm to your voice but if he did he didn’t give much of an indication.

“Well, I suppose there’s a clause about overworking you in that damn contract of yours.” Taehyung’s upper lip curled ever so slightly and while you’d have taken offense to the derogatory tone, you instead chose to grin.

“I’m glad to see you at least hold something for law, Mr. Kim.” You commented.

Taehyung’s curled lips furled even further, his eyes dropping to your mouth blatantly as he contemplated how to answer for the fact that he’d had a lot of brushes with the law than most celebrities had to.

“You should call me by my name more often. Don’t call me Mr. Kim, it feels weird.” He said instead.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Your staff calls you Mr. Kim,” you reminded him and he waves his hand to dismiss it.

“They don’t see me every day; they don’t have access to me 24/7. You…do, and you take care of more of my shit than they do. I guess that means you deserve to get some added bonuses.” He leans his head back to look at you as you slowly ran your eyes over his frame.

Six months of close contact with him had very nearly made you privy to almost all his looks ranging from Stage Taehyung to Screen Taehyung to Shit Taehyung. For all his good points, he had about twice the bad ones but even with this info lodged firmly inside your brain you couldn’t stop yourself from checking him out occasionally.

You couldn’t help yourself.

It wasn’t a lie that Kim Taehyung was probably the most beautiful, the hottest man to ever step foot on the planet and if he was going to be a douche most of the time the least he could do was be eye candy for the female population that worked for him.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to walk through your work place and over hear some girl who was freshly inducted, moan about wanting him to do things to her that would curl cheese. Then there were the women who’d been around a while and wanted nothing more than to fuck him for all the frustration he caused them.

You prided yourself on not falling in either of the categories.

You weren’t a newbie who wanted Taehyung to pin you to the nearest wall and have his way with you and you also weren’t the older women who gossiped at the coffee station about wanting to get fucked by him just because his piss off behaviors grated your motors.

Instead, if anything, you kept your mind on just how good he looked.

If late night imagination had to be blamed, you wanted him to decorate your floor, begging forgiveness and atoning for being a grade ‘A’ bastard.

Even now, with the way his body almost sprawled over the expensive faux leather covering of his couch, his eyes watching yours rake over him, taking in the bulges, dips and curves of his body, you would rather only stare from a distance than ever get physically involved.

Nope, late night imaginations would be what you left it at.

“I know that if looks could kill, you wouldn’t ever need a gun but darling that is definitely not the way to do it.”

Your eyes snapped back to his, reflecting the dark pools fixed on you till you finally straightened your posture, slipping the sheets into their respective folders and standing up, grabbing your purse.

Taehyung didn’t stand with you, choosing to gloss his eyes up your body with a blatantly hungry look on his face that you ignored.

It was only because he wasn’t getting laid with whatever he found crawling in the streets ever since you’d become his manager.

“If that would be all, Taehyung, I’ll leave now. You can come to the office to finalize the details of the itinerary and other matters. I’ll see you there.” You said, walking around him to get to the elevator.

You weren’t expecting him to follow you but when the elevator dinged its arrival and you entered, turning to face the front again, you found Taehyung standing right there, hands deep in the pockets of his sweatpants, a subtle smirk gracing his lips.

“Oh, you’ll see me, Y/N.” he said.

You blinked at him in confusion as he reached in, pressing the button to the lower level and pulled back, twirling his fingers in a goodbye, accompanying it with a ducky kiss face and a smarmy wink.

The doors closed, the mirrored walls, showing you the blank look on your face. It took you a second but you finally let the scoff that had been building inside you out, echoing in the metal box.

You’d just allowed your boss to successfully flirt with you, you scolded yourself.

Ah relax, it’s not like you encouraged him or lead him on. He’s just frustrated and maybe even lonely. It’s just horny male hormones. You reasoned with yourself.

In the mirror, you met your eyes with pursed lips, giving yourself a small nod as you set your reasons within stone.

He was just horny.

He was just horny and trying to mess with you.

You told yourself that you weren’t taken in by his antics. Nope, nothing like that at all but even as you entered your workplace amid new rumors; you had to digress to listening to a few of those.

As much as you liked to keep your work clean of these things, even you had to learn to make friends for a smoother run of time.

Of course, being the centre of those rumors was what bothered you.

Conversation ceased when you entered the break room, your eyes flitting towards the suddenly flushing girls as you walked to the deluxe coffee machine, starting it on the job of pouring out some delicious coffee.

The gazes of the whispering interns bored at you, making you wince in irritation as you walked to the group of stylists you hung out with.

“Hyelim, any idea why the glossy eyed dames over there are eyeing me?” you asked straightforwardly.

The five girls made space for you to sit on the couch as Hyelim rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be so concerned about that. These girls almost always have something to gossip over.” She waved a hand dismissively but Jay-eon interrupted.

“It’s because of Taehyung, of course!” she said.

You sighed. “What did he do now?”

“Nothing personally bad, but his actions were pretty…obvious, the day of the show.” She mumbled.

You waited as they exchanged meaningful glances.

“Taehyung was pretty…antsy, when he came back off the stage and you weren’t there. When Leda told him that you weren’t feeling well and went home, he mellowed. That’s sparked some flints.”

“What kind of flints?” you asked; already dreading the answer.

“That Taehyung likes you,” Hyelim answered and you immediately snorted.

“Oh please, nothing like that is remotely possible, especially since if Taehyung is making my life hell, I’m repaying him the favor equally.” You laughed.

However, even as you conducted the Festival meeting, feeling Taehyung’s more than lustful gaze landing on you more often than not, you had to shake that thought off, reminding yourself of the conclusion you’d reached in his elevator.

“You want to visit family?” you asked, following the tall man out of the back door of the entrance, quickly making it to the front of him and looking around to check whether anybody was lurking out there or not.

Taehyung chuckled as you put a hand up to his chest to block him, head turning around. Pressing your hand closer to his, he nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me this at your place?” you demanded.

“Because if I had,” he paused when you wrenched your hand from under his, pouting, “You’d have found some way to counter it,” he finished.

His BMW rounded the corner and you both sighed in relief as the driver quickly opened the door for you two. Letting him go ahead, you shut the door as the driver pulled out of the alley.

“I’m not a cold hearted bitch, Mr. Kim. I wouldn’t get in the way of you seeing your family.” you told him.

Taehyung didn’t comment on it the whole way as you made it to his building.

“Thanks, I guess,” he mumbled, half to himself.

You decided to ignore the quiver in his voice.

“Just tell me ahead of time so I can make better plans, ok? You springing that out in the middle of the meeting did no one any good.” You said.

Taehyung shrugged before opening his door.

“Take the car for today. You can bring it to the airport with the driver tomorrow. Oh and, pack something hot.” He said, winking and your expression turned sour as he gave you the same blow-kiss again, shutting the door blatantly in your face.

You let out an irritated gruff.

“What an ass,” you said out loud, only realizing that it was Taehyung’s driver in the car, not yours. You shot him a wide-eyed sheepish look as his eyes met yours in the rear-view mirror. He gave you a sympathetic grin which had you sagging back into your seat.

“Your home, ma’am?” he asked and you muttered a ‘yes, please,’ turning to look out of the window, wondering what was going to happen tomorrow.

All was set.

You stared around your now spotless home, critical of the way you’d cleaned and packed up your essentials in your luggage set, you went to pick up your phone to check the time.

You had awoken well ahead of the time you needed to, laying awake in bed for a few minutes to see if you would get back to sleep again. At failure to do that, you decided to start on early.

Showering, taking care of bodily needs and beauty, you made a nice, wholesome breakfast even though one would be served on Big Hit’s private jet. Tasting spice content off your thumb, you’d rung up Taehyung and Taehyung’s driver as an impromptu wakeup call, before focusing on the chicken mince and eggs, you’d made for yourself.

At 8 sharp, with your luggage placed near the door, you’d spent an hour cleaning, dusting off the curtains and scrubbing the kitchen, just for the sake of the relief of coming back to a neat and tidy house when Taehyung’s driver had called you saying he was waiting downstairs.

Your flat heeled boots carried you to the gates of the terminal Big Hit used for its jet when you heard the gasping and sudden uproar.

Pushing your glasses closer, you squinted at the massive crowd, groaning internally when you felt your employer push himself to a faster pace, walking closer to his fans, the screaming doubling in noise as he reached over the security borders to grab a few hands while the other signed autographs.

You lingered behind, an eye on your watch as the seconds ticked away.

It wasn’t until he had given ten minutes of attention to the galore of girls and boys who would, in different circumstances, be paying through the nose for this chance that you nodded at his bodyguard to bring him back over to you.

The arrival of the Pilot, who gave you a warm handshake and introduced you to the air stewardesses and stewards, was a blessing as Taehyung, with a final wave to his fans moved after you to the ramp of the plane.

You had been inside a few private jets in your life, some business mogul or the other needing to take you with them to an abroad meeting or some such other thing.

However, you had to admit that Big Hit’s jet, by far, won hands down.

The inside was a startling white, with cream and dark brown fittings. There was a small fireplace in the corner near the entrance, the counter curving to show off a discreet bar.

The small walkway was dotted with a few small tables, the biggest one, and right at the back, surrounded by a circular couch. You chose to sit in one of the double seats, your purse dropped into the side seat as you watched the runway from the oval windows.

After a few minutes, Taehyung followed, huge shades covering his face as his lips quirked at the sight of the inside.

“Ah, I hope they stocked up.” He said, head turning to the bar when you stopped paying him any attention, instead looking at the Pilot who walked in.

“Miss Y/L/N, Mr. Kim, we’ve had your luggage brought to the jet. Would you want it in with you or would you like us to put it in the storage?” he asked respectfully.

You looked at Taehyung who grinned at the man.

“Have it brought here, buddy,” he said and the Pilot bowed again before exiting.

For a few minutes as you watched the trolley of luggage being carried up, Taehyung chose to raid the bar, going around to the tender’s place and reading through the labels.

“You know drinks?” you asked, suspiciously as he pulled out a few bottles, inspecting them closely. Taehyung glanced once over at you before turning back.

“I might have some ideas.” He muttered.

You stared at his back, tight muscles covered by the expensive jacket, dark hair brushing his nape. A split second view of his hair wrapped around your fingers made you look away quickly to the stewardess who entered.

“We’re ready for takeoff, Ma’am, please take your seats.” She said.

You sat down, complying with the order, and both sets of eyes went to the man who continued to stand.

“Um, sir, we’re taking off. Please take a seat and fasten your seat belts.” She said again.

You looked at the girl to see flushed cheeks, a wistful, yearning look in her eyes and nearly face palmed yourself. Great, another one of Taehyung’s conquests…

“Taehyung, please sit, we have a schedule to keep.” You snapped out.

The stewardess jumped at your tone and looked down as the man himself turned to raise his eyebrows at you. “Don’t you want a drink?” he asked innocently.

“You can make whatever you want once in the air. Now sit,” you sighed.

Taehyung clicked his tongue, reluctantly shoving the bottles back and exiting the bar, walking over to the seats without casting a single glance at the other female in the area who wilted at his ignorance.

You kept staring at her, not noticing Taehyung reach for the bag you’d placed next to you and drop it to the seat behind you, plopping down beside you.

You flinched just barely as the stewardess went through the safety instructions, seeing as you were travelling with them for the first time. Her voice was mellow, quiet and neither of you paid any attention to her as she scurried away finally to her own seat as the plane began to taxi.

The next hour of the flight after takeoff was spent in reading from your tablet as Taehyung fluttered about the jet. He mixed a few drinks which he offered to you.

Peering up at him, you sipped delicately at one, finding it decent but refused a second one, making Taehyung sag a tiny little as he meandered about.

“What about my staff?” he asked suddenly.

“The festival management is providing your lodging and a select branch of staff. Outfits, stylists and media will all be funded from their side. You only need to go and be there to look pretty. I’m coming because I’m your manager.” You answered mechanically, answers ready to spout off.

“I…I can’t stay at home?” he asked again.

“No, aside from the fact that it will cause security problems, it will also be tedious for your family to have a gaggle of people show up at your place every day.” You answered again.

Taehyung fiddled with another bottle for a second before coming back to drop down next to you, jolting your arm. You gave him a look, crossing your legs and tilting your body away to protect some of your private space that Taehyung’s broad frame now occupied.

He sighed, playing with his clothes, twiddling his thumbs. It was clear there was something weighing on his mind but you made no move to put him at ease, resolutely poring over the news article.

“God, stop,” you whined at length as he continued to jump his leg, bumping it against your ankle.

“I wanted to…you know, say thank you,” he blurted out, making you pause and your eyebrows to jump up at the exclamation.

“What for?” you asked.

“You…uh, you let me go see my family.” he explained but you didn’t change your expression, prodding him to go further.

He took the bait, looking down at his knees as he played Thumb War with himself.

“I don’t really get to see them. Very rarely, since either I’m busy or you know…security reasons,” he pursed his lips a little. “Most of the managers tried to get out of the hectic work that involved me getting some time off just to see my folks. So they never let me go plus the company always has something for me to do.” He shrugged before looking up at me.

“I miss them a lot and I hate it more than I let on. So…thank you,” he said.

You blinked before nodding.

“Like I said, I’m not going to stop you from seeing you family, Mr. Kim. Everyone needs that.” You said.

“Exactly, that’s why I said so in the meeting. I realized that if anybody could pull it off, it would be you. I trust you.” He gave you his patent boxy grin, causing a questionable swoop in your stomach.

“Right,” you said weakly.

“I’ll go take a nap, in the room. Feel free to join me if you want.” He laughed a little and took off.

Somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel disgusted by the innuendo.

Your arrival to Daegu airport was wrought with extra caffeine and a still sleepy Taehyung.

For anyone asking, sleepy Taehyung was overly snuggly – a trait you found endearing if not a little mind wracking as he managed to clutch on to you the whole way from the runway to the departure portal.

“Mr. Shin?” you questioned as the man with the stern façade approached you.

“Yes, you must be Miss Y/L/N,” he said, shaking your hand. “We’ve heard a lot about you.” he said.

“Thank you, do you have somewhere I could stash him at?” you asked, tired and exhausted at hauling your charge. He easily had ten inches on you.

Shin looked at Taehyung who even with his shades on, yawned large and wide.

“Yes, please, right here,” he flourished an arm to the side at the range rover and opened the door, letting you push him in first.

“You have to check in at the hotel first, before going to his house, Y/N. That way we can keep up appearances.” He said to you, voice low.

“What is something wrong?” you asked.

“Apparently, Taehyung’s plan of visiting family leaked out. We’ve had word from a lot of questionable people and media hovering near the hotel.” He said.

You groaned, rubbing a hand down your face in anger and defeat.

“We’ll handle it as well as we can. You just have to be careful.” He warned.

Nodding to the man, you climbed in after your boss as the car pulled out into the drive way.

Shin led you through the opulent entrance hall of the six-star hotel, where the festival was going to hold its gala and had booked rooms for its attendees.

It was unnecessary to say you were exhausted as fuck, the few minutes of nap grabbed in the car doing nothing to help as the caffeine you’d consumed slowly left your system.

Once at the reception counter, the crisply suited concierge intercepted you, annoyingly bright grin fixed on his face as he bowed to you. You bent at your waist as much as your stiff body would allow as Shin lowered his voice and began to speak to the man, eyes furtively looking about in case anybody would be listening in.

Shin finally beckoned you and Taehyung to the front. Your boss, who had dropped the shades and donned a face mask that hid everything but his eyes, began to fill out your information in both the hotel book and a special form that let the festival in charge know that you were checked in and accounted for.

The concierge thanked you and began to hand you your keys when Taehyung finally spoke up, just as you were reaching forward for your key.

“Wait, make it one.” He said.

The concierge, Shin and you both turned to look at him.

“What?” The man asked, nervously.

“The room, make it one.” Taehyung said.

“We booked two, sir.” Shin cut in but Taehyung ignored it, still watching the concierge who looked at you.

“Um, Mr. Kim, what are you…?” you began.

“I don’t want to be alone. I’m sure their security is amazing and everything but we’re going to be at my family’s house till the gala begins anyway. There’s no point in having two rooms. It’s inconvenient. Plus, I’d feel safer if you were with me at all times.”

You gave him a look.

“That’s not a good idea at all.” You pointed out.

If anybody – read Shin and the hotel dude – opened their mouths and the news got out that Kim Taehyung was sharing a room with his manager, it would cause a scandal, and it would affect you as well.

Taehyung frowned at you before turning to the concierge. “Where are the rooms now?” he asked.

The concierge looked down into the sheet.

“Miss Y/L/N is in the floor below yours, sir.” He said.

“Bullshit; put us in adjoining rooms.” He snapped.

“Taehyung, seriously,” you growled, already at the edge of your patience but Taehyung didn’t seem to be relenting. It was either sharing a room or the same wall. What the hell did he want you so close to him for? Was he…, did he think…? You hoped not.

Ugh, you were so not ready to deal with this.

“Fine,” you handed the man his key back. “Do as he says.” You sighed.

Your head tilted back to rest on the tiled edge of the small hot water pool, provided on the private bay of each celebrity’s suite.

Since Taehyung hadn’t emerged from his room since the check out you had assumed he’d promptly gone off to sleep and decided to take a soak in the pool where the hot water jetted against your more than sore muscles.

The vibrations from the water were slowly working to loosen your tight tendons, making you drowsy.

Just as your eyes were sliding to meet each other and a sigh of much needed sleep passed your sleep, you heard the glass doors of the balcony bay open and then padded footsteps. The small awake part in your brain wondered if it was a towel boy or something, until the water sloshed up around you, making you startle awake.

Your first sight was that of a familiar toned chest, bare and not too far from you. You followed the line down to where long, lightly muscled legs stretched out to barely touch yours, hidden by black swimming trunks, before flicking your gaze up to meet his eyes.

Taehyung took a second to say something, eyes raking over your nearly bare body as well before offering you a sheepish but smug smirk.

“Sorry to interrupt your slumber, princess.” He murmured.

You blinked and scoffed sleepily at him, not quite recovered as you debated whether to stay there or get up and leave, if only to get some space from his proximity if not to give him some privacy.

An increase in the water jets made your decision for you, as you sighed again, watching Taehyung fiddle with the small settings remote.

Your eyes closed back and head dipped to the tiles. You could clearly feel his gaze fixed on you and the heat flushing through your body was now more than just thanks to the hot water.

The sports bra and high waist shorts ensemble you’d chosen for your soak was definitely not enough to cover you up when Taehyung’s gaze burned as if he was melting the fabric right off of your body.

Your eyes opened when they couldn’t stay closed and ignorant of his gaze and turned them straight on to your boss.

Working for him for months had taught you that Kim Taehyung was the definition of many things, shameless one of them. If you had expected him to turn his eyes away, you were sorely disappointed. If anything, Taehyung, whose eyes had been fixed to the surface of skin right over your breasts and neck, simply met your eyes, eyebrows quirking in question, as if he expected you to say something.

“Do you want something?” you snapped finally, only realizing how the question would come across to him when he replied.

“I have almost all the things I could want, Y/N, except maybe one or two.” He said before giving you an angelic smile. “If I told you, would you be a good little manager and get me it?”

You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he would say.

“Well, you could try, but whether you get it or get sued might depend.” You warned and he laughed a deep, resonating sound.

It made you jolt in surprise, never having heard that kind of laugh from him before. His usual laughs were short, almost bitingly curt and almost always sounded derisive. When that was what you’d heard more than once, you’re learned to roll your eyes and take it that the Diva boy just didn’t find humor around him.

It was now that you learned that this was Kim Taehyung’s real laugh; free, ringing and absent of any disdain he loved showering people in.

It was a nice sound.

“What, why are you staring at me like that?” he asked, head tilted in confusion.

You straightened up, realizing a small smile had crept to your lips which you erased. “Nothing, I just…haven’t heard you laugh like that ever before.” You said.

A part of you wanted to smack yourself for showing that there were things you noticed about him but a larger part of you wondered if maybe noticing Taehyung himself would break down some of the ice in Kim Taehyung’s façade.

He blinked before looked abashed. “Whatever, I guess,” he mumbled, but he was clearly taken back at your observation.

He stretched a little bit more but his legs touched yours and he drew away before with a sigh of his own he moved, coming to sit beside you and stretching out further.

“Ah that’s better,” he said, arms coming up on both sides to rest along the tiled edge.

If anybody looked the way you were sitting, they would assume you were a couple…and then spread rumors. You frowned to yourself at that, about to get up.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, looking up at you.

“Going inside, I think I’m good.”

“Nonsense, sit down, you need this.” he said before laying his head back again.

Your body immediately slumped back against the wall, grateful for the indirect command as you did not want to leave the hot water just yet.

There was a surprisingly comfortable silence between you two till you broke it.

“You didn’t tell me what you wanted?” you murmured, feeling sleep creep back up on you.

There was a pause in which Taehyung opened his own eyes but kept staring up at the sky before he brought the remote to his eyes, pressing a button.

You immediately felt the water jets increase near your back and you let out a whimper, his head snapping to look at you. His eyes met yours and darkened just a little.

“Where do I start, Y/N?” he said, voice low and husky.

“I want to put my hands on you, feel the warmth of your skin against mine. I want to put my mouth on you, devour those pretty lips and feel them on me.”

A low gasp had escaped you and you were already backing away when he raised his hands to your face, wet fingertips lining over your cheekbones.

“More than anything else, though, I want you to actually fucking give in for once instead of just eye fucking me across a damn room.” He growled.

Taehyung tilted your face up just a tiny bit and you bit your lip to hide the quake that had over taken them at the very thought that Taehyung might actually kiss you. You wanted to push away but the rest of you, the exhausted part that just wanted to agree that you found Taehyung attractive had taken over, not allowing you to budge.

Just as you let go of your lip to say something, the water jet activated again, a streak of water hitting the side of your ribs just under your bust. Instead of a rebuke, a soft moan escaped your mouth, reddening your cheeks and blowing Taehyung’s pupils out completely.

The grip of his fingers increased on your face, holding you in place as with a muttered curse, he was smashing his mouth against yours.

You wondered idly later if maybe you had been drunk the first time Taehyung had kissed you. Maybe it had been the exhaustion, the mind numbing tiredness that seeped through your synapses, brought on by rigorous and continuous working. It was the type of numbness that only went away with a vacation, passing out drunk though you weren’t a fan of the hangover that followed, oh and maybe a night of wild romping.

It was this last thing that you were sure Taehyung could provide the best, his prowess well known.

So, that was probably why you put up approximately zero resistance.

Even now, as Taehyung pulled you tighter to him, arms wrapping around your waist, you could feel the warmth and distraction working to pull you out of your slump.

Your lips opened to him easily, letting his tongue sweep in and taste yours, entangling as you made out messy and sloppy. Taehyung soon hauled you on top of him, your legs on either side of his stretched out legs, straddling him right there…

You let out a drawn out moan when you felt how hard he was, just barely contained in the material of the trunks as it pressed against the crotch of your shorts and you felt him grind up against you as his hands began to wander from behind you.

You tilted your head back, letting his lips trail fire across your jaw line and down your neck.

The night air was cool, crisp but the pool and Taehyung felt so hot, they seared your skin.

It wasn’t until you felt him fiddling with the strap of your sports bra that awareness finally flooded through you.

This was wrong. Oh god, what were you doing? What if someone saw? You both would be faced with scandal; you would lose your job and your reputation. You would lose everything.

“No, wait,” you whispered weakly, eyes still fluttering at the way Taehyung was mouthing at the skin available to him. Your added height from his lap had put him in direct line of your chest and you couldn’t help but want him to continue. Only this time, you reigned yourself in.

“What is it, baby?” he asked, his voice already husky and low.

Your stomach tightened at the endearment and you fiercely reminded yourself he probably called every girl he kissed that.

“Stop, we can’t be doing this.” you said tensely, stiff in his arms and he pulled back just a tad bit, looking around.

“You’re right. Let’s take it to my room.” He said.

Your eyes flashed as he confirmed your thoughts. This was just a passing of time for him.

“I meant that we shouldn’t be doing this at all. You will go to your room and I will go to mine.” You said, pushing yourself away from him and clambering off his lap.

Taehyung blinked in confusion.

“What?” he asked, watching you climb out of the water and go to the lawn chair where you’d set your towel and pool dress.

“I think I made it clear, we need to be up and off tomorrow early if you want to safely get to your parents. We need to leave before the celebrities start to arrive, as does the mob.” You said wiping yourself off as best as you could.

In a way, you were also trying to wipe away his touch on you.

“Is that really what it is?” you felt a large hand clamp on your wrist and turn you around, right against his bare and wet chest.

You jolted away from him, wrenching out of his hold.

Taehyung furrowed his brows at your behavior, so different from how it was just moments ago. “What happened? Did I do something you didn’t like?” he asked.

You snorted.

Of course, that was what his mind would immediately jump to.

“Well, Mr. Kim aside from just violating my last clause, not much,” you sneered turning around to put on your dress.

“Your last clause…? The sexual harassment one…? What the hell, Y/N, we just kissed!” he seethed, volume lowering as he spat out the last sentence.

“You aren’t supposed to kiss your manager! You’re not supposed to flirt with your manager, you’re not supposed to stare at your manager like they’re your prey!” you winced at how shrill you sounded, as if you were close to tears.

You sort of were. You couldn’t lie and say you hadn’t ever thought of Taehyung that way but the very idea of his experience…and who and where he gained it from, made your stomach lurch.

You didn’t know if you wanted to keep letting him touch you, or be ashamed of your weakness. Both…maybe both…

Taehyung had his eyes wide, looking a little thrown and if you were reaching, even a little hurt.

“You’re…you’re not just…I mean, you haven’t been just,” he swallowed loudly, looking down.

“This, this right now, it shouldn’t have happened, Mr. Kim.” You whispered and watched him ball his fists before he was looking up.

The glare in his eyes made you physically shrink and he scoffed, sneering at your smaller frame.

“Whatever, Miss Y/L/N,” he hissed and you blinked, looking away as you bolted out of the bay, leaving him to watch after you.

The night didn’t go easy for you, tossing and turning in the spacious bed of the suite Taehyung had insisted you get. Huffing at the delicate throb between your legs and puffing at the slight ache in your chest at look on Taehyung’s face when you’d viciously chewed him out, you completely gave up on sleep, deciding on coffee in the unholy hours of 4:30 am.

You went to the small table right next to the suite entrance, flipping through the thick folder of the hotel to fish out the list of numbers you needed to dial to place your order when you heard it.

It was common knowledge that hotels, no matter how upscale were prone to having thin walls. So thin, that the conversations happening outside a room was easily available to the ears, which was why most staff were told to keep gossip to their private zones.

Of course, no one expects anybody to be awake at nearly five in the morning and they’d feel safe gossiping among themselves…right outside of the rooms.

“Did you hear?”

“Hear what?”

“The new room-maid, apparently she…did it…with him!”

“You don’t mean…?”

“I sure do,”

“Oh…my…god, he’s a GOD! How did she land him?”

“Oh please, you know him, are you really surprised?”

“Man, I’m so jealous. For god’s sake…KIM -,”

“Shut up! If someone heard us, we’d be fired.”

“Right, right, sorry,”

“Let’s just get back to work, before someone wakes up. We need to still do the rest of the floors.”

You heard the voices fade from range as they carried on chattering while walking. Your hands had frozen on the folder as you analyzed what you’d heard.

You were pretty sure it was Taehyung who was the center of the gossip, and he’d fucked some maid. A maid…

You suddenly felt sick to your stomach, the ache in your chest returning. How could he? He’d made you feel special for…what, ten minutes, before his true colors had jumped out.

You glanced down at your fingers, where they’d nearly ripped the sheet of numbers to shreds. Gritting your teeth, you went to the phone to order your coffee.

You were determined to not give him the time of the day. If he could show you that you weren’t worth much to him, you could return the favor well enough.

You didn’t wake Taehyung up, not bothering to call for him as you instead focused on packing a small bag of your necessities for the visit to his house.

You also forego packing anything special for him. If he acted up, you’d deal with it later. You were tired of always thinking of him prior to yourself, no matter if it was your job or not.

You sent your things to the car, waiting to take off when he arrived, rumpled and his clothes showing wrinkles in his shirt. There was a pause in which Shin and you eyed him and when he looked up, meeting your eyes, both of you looked away at the same time, nodding to Shin to indicate you were ready to leave.

It was a tense ride.

Taehyung’s family lived near the idyllic countryside, owning a farm of their own. It was a curious thing that Taehyung came from a non influential family but you quickly reminded yourself you didn’t care. It wasn’t your concern to worry about his roots, just where he spread his branches to.

You could feel Taehyung’s ire radiating off of his body, rolling against you as if you’d personally offended him. Maybe you had, but then so had he, treating you as if you were just a game he could play with and if it didn’t work, he could throw it aside and get another one.

Now that was where you took offence, never mind that you had been stupid enough to give in.

You chewed on your lips, lips that just a few hours again had been slotted against him, moving as if you both would combust if you separated.

Ugh, damn it all to hell, you thought, balling your fists.

You shifted in your seat and Taehyung, who had been sitting way to the other side at the other window stiffened, as if he was waiting for some movement on your part.

You glanced at him, only to find he was already eyeing you, a strange mixture of annoyance, frustration and something akin to hurt swimming in his eyes. You dismissed the last as your mind playing tricks on you. You looked away.

“You should let your family know that you’re on your way, Mr. Kim.” You said coldly, not wanting to say his name.

Did that girl say his name? Did she give him what he wanted from you easily? It must’ve been so. Not many girls would say no to Kim Taehyung.

You didn’t deign to look at him again after that thought for the rest of the journey.

Taehyung’s family house sprawled over the small valley of their farm. You could see strawberry fields looming at the back as you got out of the car, moving around to see Taehyung already out, running to a woman who was holding her arms out.

Even as you watched, Taehyung melted into the woman’s embrace, his larger frame easily covering hers.

A small pang went through you as you tried to remember the last time you’d been in a mother’s embrace, turning to look at Shin.

“You’ll be here till the time of the Gala.” He reminded you, handing you a list of timings and meeting schedule.

“Got it,” you murmured, waving once as he nodded to you, passing a curious glance over the animated actor behind you before he got back in the car, the driver pulling out of the driveway.

“Ah, have you brought a girl to meet with me, son?” you heard the coo of Taehyung’s mother and turned, feeling Taehyung’s gaze bore into you as he watched you, expressionless.

You avoided his gaze, putting on your charming smile as you walked to her with your hand out.

“No, ma’am, I’m Y/N, only Mr. Kim’s manager.”

It wasn’t your intention to be spiteful but the way Taehyung’s eyes darkened and jaw tightened in fury, you all but felt cold satisfaction.

However, you soon turned surprised as Mrs. Kim completely ignored your outstretched hand, moving to hug you instead, slender and soft arms, wrapping just as carefully around you as they had her son.

“I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I already know you.” she giggled before pulling back to smile kindly at you. “Thank you for looking after my son, Y/N. I imagine it hasn’t been very easy.” She pouted at her son who looked down sheepishly, a tight smile on his face that vanished when he met your gaze.

“No, but I think I handle it ok,” you murmured, turning back to his mother.

She took a moment to look back at you from her son, a speculative look to her eyes as she glanced back and forth.

You spent more than half the day outside, walking along the farm and the small hill that overlooked the house. Taehyung, once inside didn’t acknowledge your existence and neither did you want him to.

Taehyung’s family, while having all sorts of modern amenities, still held true to the traditional ways. There wasn’t a chicken coop or anything but there was still a line to hang clothes, a hay shed, and miraculously, a large tractor in a looking garage…right next to a shiny Chevy.

You didn’t know if you were visible from the windows, aimlessly meandering or if they’d just remembered you but you turned to the calls of Taehyung’s mother, walking up to meet you at a heap of strawberry leaves. Her eyes, similar to Taehyung’s were glimmering but unlike her son’s they were still warm and jovial.

“Mrs. Kim,” you greeted politely.

“Oh you’re so formal, it’s unnerving.” She teased as she reached you.

“In my work, professionalism is necessary.” You returned with a smile and she tilted her head.

“I see; must be exciting working in all the sectors that you have, also at such a young age.”

“It’s more exhausting but yes,” you replied, looking over the hill. “You have a beautiful home.”

“How would you know? You haven’t been inside yet.” She said and you looked quickly at her to see her quietly laughing. “It’s peaceful here. We didn’t always live here, but the city became…hectic, after Tae became famous. His fans are amazing, but some can be a little…overwhelming. So, we moved here after Tae’s grandmother passed. It’s not too far away from the city and not so close that we would be…easily sought.”

“I can understand.” You said, sympathizing with her.

She was silent for a minute before smiling again at you, “Come, I’ll walk with you.” she said.

Mrs. Kim, gave you a small tour of the farm, or just explained the existence of the things you’d already seen. About how Taehyung’s grandfather had first purchased the tractor, how the hay shed was more like a place for Taehyung’s younger siblings to play in and other things.

“So, how did Taehyung get where he is now?” You asked suddenly.

She seemed surprised at the question.

“Surely, you must know, as his manager?” she asked.

You shrugged. “I have only been with him a short while and I don’t really like to pry in people’s past.” You murmured, not mentioning about how you’d heard of Yubin.

“Hmm,” his mother paused, considering. “Taehyung was quite the child when he was young, I suppose. Always up in some activity or the other…I don’t need to tell you how horrible his academics went.” She giggled, even your lips tugging into a smile.

“We never thought that he would be actively pursuing this line, mind you. We always thought he’d grow out of it, or finally start focusing on his studies…but then she came.” Mrs. Kim’s face darkened for a split second before lightening.

“Yubin, her name was. She was one of those actresses who do the occasional tour of their hometown just to raise awareness. I don’t know what Taehyung was doing, he was supposed to be out with a friend but he came home all excited. Told me about how he was scouted by Yubin herself and everything. I refused to believe a word of it but then she showed up herself, with her manager.”

Mrs. Kim turned to look over the farm.

“She took him with her to Seoul, set him to work and for a while everything was amazing. My son was doing what he loved, he was loved, and he had more money than we were used to. He could do, or be anything he wanted now. Soon, he came home…with Yubin again. This time, as his lover,” She sighed.

“We weren’t disapproving, per say of the relationship. Sure, she was a few years older than him, was more famous, and had many things to do about. It was just curious that she would take to seeing an up and coming actor. We accepted it though, for my son. He was happy with her. She seemed happy enough with him…”

“The blow for all of us came, of course, when he proposed. I doubt she was expecting it. I don’t know what she told him but the next day their troubles began. He would always call me and they’d be having a fight. She began to be colder, more distant. Soon, she just up and disappeared. It was later that Tae found about all the others.”

There was silence as I absorbed the new information…or rather history.

“My son…wasn’t what the papers make him out to be. He isn’t what I’m sure you think him to be. He was a child, a young man who just happened to fall for the wrong woman. After she left, he changed. He began to call less, visit less. We began to see atrocious news about our precious boy, we got cornered more. He grew more famous and popular yes, but I don’t think he sees the cost he paid yet. But we do,” she turned to give you a sad smile which made you drop your gaze.

A shrill burst of laughter erupted, breaking though the silence of the evening and both your heads turned, following the sound to see two young boys laughing, running out of the open door.

Seconds later, Taehyung followed, long legs carrying him after his brothers, the deep, booming genuine laughter you’d heard echoing over to you as he chased his siblings.

You watched as he tackled the small boy, falling to the grass, careful to push his body to ground first so the child wouldn’t get hurt as he began to tickle his sides.

The young child laughed harder, squirming in his brother’s arms as they were joined by the youngest, which jumped about, pointing and demanding attention.

You blinked fast, pressing your fingers to your chest where the ache had returned.

There might have been more to Kim Taehyung than you might have seen but just how much of it still remained in him, was yet to be seen.

You would give him space, but you weren’t sure if you were willing to put yourself out there just yet, especially not after this morning.

Shin sent you the car after dinner time, making sure that Taehyung at least had enough time spent with his family. You decided to forego dinner with the family, politely declining and saying you had some work to finalize and would have dinner at the hotel.

You didn’t miss the small exchange of eyes Taehyung’s mother shared with her son when he stiffly turned at your refusal, shrugging apathetically.

Plugging in your earphones, you began to tick down the list of meetings you had tomorrow with Taehyung’s outfitters and select media personnel he’d give interviews to, checking their faces and IDs when the car arrived to take you back to the hotel.

The ride back was even more uncomfortable than the first, now that you were concerned about your own feelings and you could feel him turn his head towards you more often, an indescribable look on his face.

When the car pulled into the underground parking of the hotel, you were the first out, clutching your thin tablet and papers to your chest.

“Y/N,” you heard Taehyung call but you didn’t turn to him.

“I’m hungry now. I’ll be at the dining hall, if you need me,” you said hurriedly, walking away as fast as your feet would carry you.

In the dining hall, where you put in whatever the first table of the buffet had to order, you sat by the window, looking out and sighing.

Now that you were back, the conversation you’d heard in the morning kept replaying in your head, making you press your fingertips to your temples and roll them when you saw it.

The mob had already arrived. You’d see it being parted as the car swept into the parking.

Now, apart from the mob, a gaggle of girls were standing outside the window. What was concerning was that their eyes were fixed on you.

Frowning, you raised your eyebrows challengingly to the girls but they didn’t stir, instead muttering to each other.

Now, you had had a few experiences with crazy people, girls and boys who wanted a piece of your charge or someone close to them but you had never seen this.

You had never been the one to be stared at.

Feeling a thread of worry unfurl in your stomach, you ditched your plate, deciding to just get room service in your suite’s safety and got up, picking up your things and leaving.

Stopping just near the elevator of the hall, you turned to see the girls gone.

Getting out on your floor was when you felt it. The feeling of unease you’d felt in the dining hall.

You turned, looking both ways into the hallways.

“Taehyung?” you called, hoping it was him, just him.

The door to the emergency stairway opened then and the girls came in.

There were four and very pretty. You frowned, were they workers, sisters, staff for one of the celebrities to be living on this floor? Why were they using the stairs instead of the elevator?

“That’s her. Taetae’s manager,” the girl who’d been staring at you said.

She had on a kitty hair band, you noticed, funny the things people register when cornered.

“Are you sure?” another asked, tilting her head. There was something oddly off about the girls, but then maybe you were just scared.

“Um, I think I have the wrong hall.” You muttered, turning to walk away.

“We saw you with him.”

You turned to see them walking towards you in a straight line.

“Yeah, so, I’m his manager,” you said, bluntly.

“You called him by his name. Who do you think you are, calling our man by his name? He should be only Mr. Kim to you, bitch.”

You bristled at the audacity before rolling your eyes.

“Ok, I’m going to give you ten minutes to get out of here. Otherwise, I’m going to have security call the police.” You said, bravely turning to walk away again.

A harsh pull on your hair stopped you, earning a yelp as you were tugged backwards.

You turned hair still in the bitch’s grip as your eyes watered, seeing her face twisted in rage.

“How dare you, talking to us like that? You fucking slut, we all know what you want from him!”

Your hand came up to clutch at her hand, digging in your nails to make her grip lose and she let go but the others tackled you, one of them catching you with the sharp edge of her nail as she grasped your neck, fingers digging into your throat.

Oh god, you were going to die.

You tried to buck her off, rolling to throw her off when you heard the commotion and a familiar shout.

“Hey! Get the fuck away from her!”

The girl looked up, her fingers loosening as black suited men surrounded the group.

“Taetae, hi, oh my god, we’re such huge fans. I’m sorry, I was just…” the girl stammered as she got off of you while you turned to your side trying to crawl away.

“Don’t, just don’t fucking talk to me,” you heard him bite before soft hands were cradling your shoulders.

“Y/N, hey, Y/N, can you hear me?”

You nodded as best as you could, ignoring the sting in your throat as Taehyung propped you against his knee before turning livid eyes to Shin and the concierge who had accompanied the security.

You watched as the black suited guys dragged the girls away in the service elevators.

“What the hell, man? Your security is fucking horrible. How did they get up here?” he yelled, making you wince.

“We’re so sorry, Mr. Kim. They must’ve used the emergency staircase. We don’t have a lot of men posted there.” The concierge spread his hands and Taehyung let out a scoff before looking at you.

“You’re lucky we got here in time. If anything happened to her, you can be sure you would pay…and not just in money. I’d personally make sure of that.”

“Taehyung, it’s ok.” You said softly and he looked at you, glare softening a little.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he stood up with you pulled along with him.

“Shin, make sure these idiots double everything. I don’t care who they put and I want Y/N watched as well,” he ordered, meeting with zero protests as he led me to his suite, shutting and locking the door after him.

The inside of Taehyung’s suite was similar to yours, the trademark pieces of the hotel’s furnishings, and a form of comfort to you.

He nudged you to the bed, sitting you down wordlessly before disappearing into the bathroom and rummaging in the cabinets.

You let out a slow exhale, closing and releasing your fists. Your neck was prickling where the girl’s talons had dug in and cut you and you badly wanted to scratch the skin.

Why did this happen to you? Why would you be targeted out of all the celebrities here? Were you just at the wrong place at the wrong time?

You groaned, dropping your head to your hands just as Taehyung emerged.

“The first aid kit isn’t all that amazing, but we can still disinfect and wash the cut – hey, what’s wrong? Are you hurting?”

Taehyung quickly placed the ceramic toothbrush bowl of hot water and the black bag of medical supplies on the nightstand, grasping your hands to pull them away from your face.

You shook your head and he let go of you, bringing a chair to sit in front of you, tearing open a pack of wet wipes and looking back up at you.

His fingers curved around your jaw line, tilting your head up and examining the crescents of nails on your skin, before running the cool tissue over them, wiping away any residual fluid that might have oozed out.

He dropped the tissue, before applying some antiseptic cream on the area and patting at it with gauze cloths.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” you asked curiously.

Taehyung didn’t answer. His warm brown eyes met yours and held the gaze as he continued to spread a thin layer of disinfectant on your skin with his fingertip.

You wondered whether he was avoiding the question when he looked away.

“I’m glad they didn’t harm you.”

“They almost strangled me. Nice, sweet fans,” you replied, watching the slight quirking of his lips.

“Not all of them are all so sweet.” He said.

“You’d know.” You said referring to the sasaeng he’d slept with.

He frowned immediately. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you mumbled, sighing.

You didn’t have to be so hard on him. Never mind, his issues with you right now, you were still his manager and he’s protected you, going to the front line himself rather than letting Shin or the hotel concierge do it for him.

“Listen, thank you for this, really, I’m sorry, I’m being mean.” You said.

He hummed, “Would your behavior have anything to do with what we…what happened at the pool?” he asked.

This time, it was your turn to frown at him.

“You’re one to talk. You managed to have your own fun and still acted like a jerk the whole day.” You argued.

Taehyung’s eyebrows rose up.

“I didn’t have my fun. I wasn’t just having fun with you, Y/N.” He said coldly.

“I’m talking about the maid.”

Taehyung looked genuinely confused.

“What maid?” he asked.

“The maid that you,” you paused, looking up as Taehyung tilted his head, waiting for you to continue. “You know what; we don’t have to do this. I’m going to my room. Thanks again,” you said, about to stand when he placed a heavy hand on your knee.

“Tell me, Y/N.” He ordered his voice stern.

“The maid you slept with, Taehyung. There, I said it,” you sneered and he blanched.

“Whoa, whoa, wait right there, I did not sleep with any maid.” He blurted out, eyes widening as he raised both hands in surrender.

You rolled your eyes.

“I heard two housekeepers talking about it this morning, Taehyung. Drop it,” you said sharply and Taehyung frantically gripped your shoulders.

“I’m not lying to you, I swear. It must have been some girl trying to start a rumor. I was in my room ever since you left me at the pool and I didn’t come out till the call for the car came. I swear on my mother.” He said; breathing fast as he leaned down to look into your eyes, making sure he got the point across.

You blinked as he said it and looked down. “Oh,”

“I just thought…I didn’t put out with you so…you know, you went to get…”

Taehyung curled a finger under your face, pulling it up so you would look at him. His eyes were intense.

“I can understand why you would think that. I know I haven’t been the most…chaste person around but I can promise you, Y/N, what happened between us at the pool, was not because I was horny and wanted to just fuck. I mean I did want to but not just to pass time or anything. I want you, really. I haven’t messed around with anyone ever since the concert. I can’t think about it with anyone else but you now. I’m not going to mess this up by doing that with just anyone. If I want to change how you think of me, I’m going to have to change how I act, don’t I?” he said, quietly.

Your mouth parted as you absorbed what he told you.

Did he really feel like this and was just acting like a douche? Or had he stopped acting like one and you’d just never noticed…?

“Taehyung,” you said softly and he hummed again in question.

You leaned in slowly; feeling him tilt his head as well as you placed a delicate kiss on his lips.

Taehyung dragged in a halting breath, cool and warm at the same time against your skin as he opened his mouth under your pressure.

He was gentle this time, palms wrapping around your cheeks as he held you softly to him, curving towards you as he pecked your lips in short tugs.

“I was,” he kissed you again.

“So worried, when I saw you on the floor like that,” he pulled away to press his lips to your nose.

“I think I would’ve exploded right there.”

You shushed him, pulling his lips back to yours. “I’m fine now.” You said, before pulling away.

Taehyung didn’t let you go completely. “Stay here. It’s not safe for you to be alone anymore. I don’t know if Shin and that man doubled up security or what but I want to keep any eye on you.” he said.

You smiled softly, feeling his hands entwine with yours as you nodded. “Okay.”

As much you would’ve loved to spend the morning in Taehyung’s warm embrace the next morning, his long arms wrapped tightly around your midriff as he buried his head against your back, you couldn’t.

The film festival had officially begun and so had your work day.

Your first meeting was with the hall organizer, calling in to tell you where the entry and exits were, what the protocols for safety and…private areas were.

You shifted from Taehyung’s grip, slipping out just as he groaned, turning on his back.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I need to go meet with Shin and the hall manager. So, you can look pretty when you enter the gala in the evening.” You told him, going into his bathroom and groaning lightly at the state of you.

Both Taehyung and you had fallen asleep with clothes on and now your shirt and pants were wrinkled. No way were you going to present yourself like this.

You ducked out while putting your hair into a ponytail to see him already standing, looking up at you with a small hopeful glint in his eye.

“What is it?” you asked warily and he jumped up, walking to the large closet lining one side of the room and pulling out a heavy black garment box.

He turned to you with his lips tucked between his teeth, advancing before presenting the box to you.

“Um,” you glanced between his and the box and he chuckled.

“I was…well, I was going to ask you to be my date for the Festival before the pool thing happened. Now that everything is fine between us, I’d like to try again.” He said.

You dropped your gaze to the box again.

“It’s something I liked while shopping when you were sick. I had it customized in your size.” He explained.

“How do you know my size?” you gasped.

Taehyung rolled his eyes before dropping the box to the bed, arms curving round your waist to pull you closer to his chest as he dropped his head near your ear.

“I have been watching you for months now, Y/N. You don’t think I can make an accurate guess as to your sizes?” he asked, chapped lips running over your lobe and you giggled, pushing at his chest.

“Fine, whatever, you creep, I’ll see you later.” You said, escaping his hold and swiping the box off the bed, making a hasty dash for your room.

The hall was already decorated, marble flooring gleaming and reflecting the domed and chandelier-studded ceilings as you circled in the huge space.

The skirt of your outfit brushed along your knees as you turned, taking in the opulence with a soft smile on your face.

Your talk with the hall manager had gone by smoothly as he explained how and where the attendees would be coming in from, the way the media would have access to them and how they would be escorted back to their rooms in clear detail, going as far as to explain that he would made doubly sure to not let in any obsessed fan.

You nodded solemnly at that, thanking him as he left you, politely bowing out.

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

You jumped; startled as you whirled to see another woman had joined in on your solitary enjoyment.

You stuttered in your steps a little before politely nodding, adding a small bow to the seemingly older women just as she turned to you.

She was beautiful, of course she was.

Her hair, a gleaming black was pulled back into a swinging ponytail that brushed the middle of her back, the lines on her face only adding to her ageless beauty.

“It is,” you agreed and she smiled.

“It’s been a while since I was asked to be a part of something like this. I couldn’t refuse this time.” She tilted her head to you a little. “I am Yubin.” She introduced herself and for a full half minute you gaped, your eyes widening.

This was Yubin? The Yubin? The one who had supposedly broken Taehyung’s heart and maybe even ruined the kind hearted boy and turned him into a bratty young man?

“I…I…I’m Y/N,” you said quietly.

“Oh…I’ve heard of you.” She said, surprise coloring her voice before the smile returned. “You’re quite famous in our circles.”

“I suppose. It’s all hard work and no sleep.” You mumbled.

“All work in our line is,” she sighed.

“So…are you back? Are you going to act again? Is this a promotion?” you asked, trying not to sound as if you were prying and she shrugged.

“I haven’t considered a return just as of yet. I wasn’t going to come but after a perusal of the attendees I had to come.”

It wasn’t caught out of your notice that she definitely had to mean Taehyung. The notion that she wanted to see him again made a slow flame light under your chest and your fist tightened.

You were about to take your leave in case you said something that would cause you problems when the door swung open again but this time it wasn’t the Hall Manager.

It was Taehyung.

His hair was parted, showing a sliver of his forehead and his grin was palpable.

You didn’t give much of a reaction as he began to walk up to you, not even noticing the other woman…or rather the woman.

“I was wondering where you were and Shin told me you had this meeting. I wanted to…”

He trailed off as your eyes darted to Yubin who had stiffened upon hearing his name, slowly turning to look at him. Taehyung for his part was slow to react. His voice quieted till he went completely silent and he froze in his steps, looking as if he had seen a ghost.

From what he had told you, it would certainly seem that Yubin was a ghost as she blinked gently at him.

“Hello, Taehyung, it’s been a long time.” She said softly, a demure smile on her face and Taehyung faltered.

Your heart fluttered to see this, wondering if you should leave now but also not wanting to. His eyelids dropped as he closed his eyes and he took a deep inhale. His lean frame was coiled, tight with tension even as he exhaled and you were surprised to see his open eyes find yours.

Only this time, they weren’t jovial and affectionate, not even dumbfounded.

No, they were enraged.

Without another word, he was marching past Yubin, brushing by her without another glance at her and he latched on to your arm, tugging you with him out of the private exit, leaving her behind.

Taehyung didn’t let up till you were way out of the earshot of people, climbing the stairs to some other floor with you trying to keep up with his long legged stride that you said something.

“Taehyung!” You snapped, yanking your arm out of his vice like grip.

He stopped to look at you, eyes still burning with fury and began to back you against a wall, hands coming up to both sides of the wall near your head, caging you in.

“What did she say to you?” he demanded.

“Nothing, jeez, she had just opened her mouth. We just introduced ourselves when you came in.” You said, trying to not seem so small with him towering over you.

Taehyung still squinted at you suspiciously. “Don’t trust her, Y/N. You…you shouldn’t have been in there with her alone. I should’ve paid more attention, I’m sorry.” He ducked his head in a sigh and your face softened.

“Hey,” you reached up, curling your fingers along his jaw to tilt his head up. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine. She didn’t do anything, ok?” you said and even though his eyes still hardened at her mention he didn’t push it.

“I’m just…I don’t want her to screw up another thing in my life.” He sighed and you nodded in understanding.

“Nothing’s screwed.” You reassured and he smiled at you fondly before leaning further in, encasing your lips in his.

A groan escaped him as he pressed you against the wall, one arm winding around you to curve your body to his, tongue swiping against your bottom, asking for permission.

You put your hands against his chest, letting his gently slide the muscle in and entwine with yours.

“Y/N,” he murmured against your mouth when a sharp ping made you both jump away from each other.

You looked around wildly before Taehyung pulled out his own phone.

“It’s just mine.” He said before his brows furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” you asked and he shook his head, putting the phone down.

“It’s nothing. I have something to do now. I’ll see you in the gala, ok? Wear the dress, you’ll be beautiful.” He gave you his trademark glittering grin before he was vanishing back downstairs.

You might not agree with Taehyung on a number of things, but as you opened the garment box in your suite to get ready for the evening, you had to say you completely agreed that you were going to look good in the dress he’d picked out.

You’d showered, moisturized, perfumed and now you were standing in front of the full length mirror in the dress.

The lace overlay gown was stunning, blush color flowing down into a gossamer skirt that felt like water against your skin as you stared at yourself in the mirror.

Glancing back at the selection of dresses that Taehyung’s stylists had brought in for you, you sighed, running your hands down the shimmering material, decision made.

You were wearing Taehyung’s dress.

Grabbing a white clutch and a few necessities, you made your way out of the suite, tracing an eye across the floor just in case.

You weren’t scared of anything else happening but after that one time, you sure were going to be extra careful.

You cast a look down the hall to Taehyung’s closed suite door and smiled softly, wondering how he would be looking in the suit you’d helped the stylists choose. The red accents would be beautiful against his skin, you’d thought.

While you were excited to attend the Gala with Taehyung at your side, you couldn’t forget you were here to work first and foremost. One last glance at Taehyung’s door and you got into the elevator, going downstairs to meet Shin to make sure everything was perfect and safe.

Cameras flashes, soft classical music alternating with the latest hits in the industry blasted across the glorious hall. It was difficult to take in that the Grecian hall you’d seen in the morning was now hosting so many stars.

You smiled at a few business men you recognized, making sure to steer clear of the celebs getting their picture taken. Glancing at you studded watch you noted that it was about ten minutes till Taehyung would make his entry and you bit your lips in anticipation, smiling along to whatever one of your ex employers was saying.

“I’ll be honest; I wouldn’t have thought that you would ever work for an Actor.” The man said.

“Me neither, but here we are,” you said, smiling as you sipped at your champagne.

“Hmm and how has Kim Taehyung been treating you?” the man returned the sly smile and you glanced at your watch again, frowning when you saw it was past his time.

“Kim Taehyung…is late, as a matter of fact. Will you please excuse me?” you asked and the man snorted, already muttering about how you’d d well to return to the businessmen, who were at least punctual.

You nodded alone as he walked away from you, pulling out your phone to dial Taehyung.

No answer, the phone going straight to voicemail.

You let out an irritated grunt as you craned your neck to find Shin. Spotting him near the appetizers table you walked up to him.

“Shin, where’s Mr. Kim?” you asked.

Shin blinked down at you as he munched down whatever it was he was eating.

“He…well, he asked to have his entrance pattern changed.” He said.

“Excuse me?”

Shin glanced around before nodding. “He came up to me and told me to make a few changes.”

“Why wasn’t I notified?” you demanded.

“He told me you already knew. Now, I think he was lying.”

“Obviously,”

The quickly darkening look on your face must have alarmed Shin because he quickly spoke up. “I’ll go talk to him, if you wish.”

You shook your head.

“No, I’ll do that. Thank you,” you added quickly and walked away.

Your hand moved to pluck another champagne glass from a passing waiter and chugged it down.

Great, Taehyung seemed to have reverted back to his original ways. This was going to be a very long night.

“Y/N,” you looked up from your phone to meet Mil’s eyes, already holding two champagne glasses in her hand.

“Mil, fancy seeing you here,” you mumbled, dropping your eyes back to your phone.

It had been a full hour and you were bored out of your mind, waiting for Kim Taehyung’s arrival.

If it had been anybody else, a date or something, you would’ve walked out a long time ago but seeing as this was your job, you had to grin and bear it.

Almost everyone who knew you here could tell you were in a bad mood, brow perched low and lips downturned.

“Where’s the brat?” Mil asked, pushing the glass in your hand.

“I don’t know. Apparently, he doesn’t need to notify his manager where he’s fucking off to and why he won’t pick his phone up.” You growled.

She sighed, sitting down on the stool beside you.

“I’m sorry. I really feel like I pushed you into something terrible.” She said.

“No, I agreed to do it,” you sighed and laid your head down on the cool counter as Mil watched you suspiciously.

“Did something…happen? You would usually be a lot more pissed than this.” she said.

You eyed her as she watched you before looking down.

“He…I…we might have kissed.” You mumbled.

There was a pause before Mil was shaking her head. “Oh Y/N, you know better…”

“I do…I mean, Taehyung wasn’t, he said he didn’t want to be known for what he acted like.” You protested but Mil didn’t look convinced.

“Pretense is only a façade until it becomes habit, Y/N. Then it’s behavior. Then it’s the person themselves. You cannot change a person.” She said before turning to look away.

“Taehyung has been known to try with anything that moves. We all thought you might not be one of those people. I guess we were wrong. I’m so sorry, I pushed you into this.” she looked so crestfallen for you that you stayed speechless.

Mil and you didn’t speak again, the silence unbearable and uncomfortable.

It was only broken when the crowds went crazy near the door. Mil and you both stood up to see who had arrived and your breath caught in your throat.

No…it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t do this…

He was beautiful as usual, angelic with his rectangular smile on proud display. He was also wearing a different suit, not the one you’d chosen. He was wearing one to match her.

Had you really been so stupid and blind?

He wouldn’t…he couldn’t…

You shook yourself mentally.

Yes, of course, he would…he could and he had…he had done exactly as you were seeing him.

You really had been a stupid, blind fool.

Taehyung had played you easily, easier than a fiddle. You had been so taken with trying to get to the bottom of the mystery that was Kim Taehyung you’d forgotten the basics. Of course, he was different with his family. It was the tabloids that managed to get to the truth after all, not his mother. No, his mother had been played just like you, too fond of the idea of her perfect son to see what he truly was.

Your eyes drifted to Yubin, who looked ethereal in all white, raven hair flowing down her back, all smiles and poses.

They were marvelous together.

“Y/N,” you heard Mil call for you but it was almost as if you were underwater.

You couldn’t be here right now.

“I’ll see you later, Mil.” You muttered before grabbing your clutch and downing the glass of champagne and rushing out, from one of the side exits.

Your anger lasted well past the night.

You’d stared at your reflection, looked at the makeup on your face and the dress. It felt dirty against you now. Quickly shedding off the fabric you hadn’t bothered to keep it away properly, letting it disgracefully lie on the floor.

Your fists were balled now, the cotton ball clutched frantically.

You had never felt so dumb in your entire life, not even during your first job when you’d flirted with the son of your boss. At least they’d taken it in good humor.

This, though, you wouldn’t take in good humor.

Your pride was hurt, your ego bruised and you were vindictive.

Taehyung had probably waited all this while to pay you back for the iron leash you’d placed around his neck and he’d succeeded magnificently.

You wanted to laugh at yourself, but at least you hadn’t shed tears. You wouldn’t.

You had only about three more years to work for Kim Taehyung. You wouldn’t back out of the clause. You would do the term and then drop him, never to see his face again.

Something in you had started to ache again, but you ignored it, mercilessly squashing it.

Your decision made, you’d still felt restless the next morning.

Apart from the numerous messages Taehyung had sent and calls you’d missed, each one demanding where you were and why you weren’t replying.

Anger and hurt had made you delete nearly everything but his contact, walking out of the suite to go down to the dining room to get breakfast instead of ordering it via room service. You weren’t sure if Taehyung would show up at your doorstep, or if he had…spent the night with her.

The elevator dinged its arrival and you entered it.

Just as the door began to slide shut, a hand grasped the end of one, the door stopping its slide. You jumped, wondering for a split second if Taehyung had managed to catch you after all but the man who came into your sight was not him.

Round faced and cute, Park Seojoon entered the elevator with a somewhat embarrassed grin pointed at you, bowing a little. “Ah, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You chuckled, bowing back to one of your favorite actors. “No, sir, you didn’t.” you returned.

“Sir,” he laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Please, don’t be so formal. You may call me Seojoon. You’re Taehyungie’s new manager, right?” he asked.

The mention of his name soured you just a tad and you just nodded listlessly.

He watched you a second, head tilted as the elevators opened at the dining room.

“May I sit with you? I would rather not dine alone.” He said.

“Oh,” you blinked at him.

Park Seojoon inviting you to sit with him? How could you ever refuse?

“Of course,” you smiled, leading him to the window seat you always ate at.

Seojoon followed you obediently, ordering for the both of you before sitting down in front of you.

It was a great breakfast.

Seojoon was funny, endearing and over all a charming company. The dining room, even though filled with a few of the celebrities who’d been attending at the festival was empty of Taehyung and Yubin and you were happy for it.

“So, is Taehyung treating you right or do I need to kick some sense in him?” he asked finally as you winded up.

“Oh, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Would you be accepting of one more thing to handle tonight then?” he asked suddenly, turning to look at you.

You paused as you stood beside him, watching him curiously.

“Would you like to attend tonight’s gala with me? If I’d known you earlier, I would’ve asked you for both the evenings but at least this way I get to spend the rest of the festival with the perfect companion.” He smiled his sweet smile.

You flushed, looking down at your shoes to grin.

Unbidden, Taehyung’s face rose up in your eyes but just like before, you quelled it.

“Of course, I would love to.” You grinned.

His answering smile was blinding. “That’s awesome.”

The second gala was the real opening of the festival. In which actors promoted their new projects, interacted with each other, and could exchange merchandise.

This time you’d picked out your own gown, a shopping trip acting both as retail therapy for you and you also didn’t want to wear one of the dresses sent by Taehyung’s outfitters.

Seojoon had kindly sent you a picture of the outfit he was going to wear and you had bought a gown specially to match it, quite proud of your selection.

Now standing next to Park Seojoon, you were actually struck by how much difference there was between Taehyung and his Hyung.

While Taehyung was enigmatic, yes, there was always doubt in the back of your mind as to his next move. With Seojoon, his maturity easily showed. He was quieter, open, and actually showed up; making your mouth drop open to how amazing he looked.

If the way his eyes popped out as well was any indication, you knew you’d done a good job.

“You really do look amazing.” Seojoon said again just seconds before the doors swung open. You ran a hand down the crimson ball gown and grinned, your cheeks tinted just right as he walked in, your arm wrapped around his.

You’d been right in estimating the type of date Park Seojoon would be.

He was attentive, a good listener and endearing, introducing you to people whose first commendation came always in the way you had switched so brilliantly from Business to the Entertainment industry. Each mention of Taehyung’s name felt like a lemon being squeezed on you yet you kept up the grin.

“Well, she is just plain amazing.” Seojoon smiled, patting your shoulder appreciatively and you preened. Attending a gala with your celebrity crush would do that to you.

The crowds, which tended to scream just as a celebrity entered the hall, screamed louder and you turned away immediately, already sure of whom it was. They must have finally arrived.

Seojoon leant in, smile fixed in place, “Dance with me?” he asked.

You returned his smile. “Yes, please.”

You said and he led you to the glittering marble floor.

After a quick dance to one of the slower hits of a singer, you and he bought some of the merchandise to be delivered later to your rooms and talked to the other veterans in the industry. Seojoon introduced you to a few of his co-stars who were more interested in what went into being Kim Taehyung’s manager than you.

You spied Taehyung a few times in the midst of the stars and not once did he look happy. His mouth was pinched, eyes flaming and he’d dropped Yubin somewhere. He also seemed to be avoiding the eyes of everyone who stopped to talk to him. You squinted to be able to see if he was drunk or not when Seojoon began to excuse the both of you.

Seojoon and you walked up to the bar.

“Man, I have about an hour more to do this and then I can go back to my room.” He sighed.

“Lucky, I’ll probably have to stay for Taehyung.” You sighed, already worried about his disposition.

He leant over the counter for the bartender and shrugged. “Well, then I suppose I should stay here with my lovely date so I don’t miss any more time of her company.” He flirted and ordered a few martinis, talking about the merchandise both of you had ordered.

When the drinks arrived, Seojoon turned to you seriously.

“Is there something wrong with Taehyung and you?” he asked.

You nearly choked on your drink, making Seojoon calmly reach over to rub your back as he offered you a napkin. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No, I mean, why would you even ask me that?” you asked.

“Well, any mention of Taehyung seems to make you upset, you didn’t look at Taehyung when he entered, you avoided all the stalls that have Taehyung’s goodies and he’s been looking at you ever since he’s caught you, all angry and red in the face.” He said.

It was a mark of your control that you didn’t turn to look to find Taehyung when he said that.

“Look, I won’t pry but if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” He said.

You’d just opened your mouth to say there was nothing wrong when a shadow fell over your corner.

“Y/N,”

Seojoon and you both turned to look up at the intruder, making you let out a small gasp at the sight.

Taehyung was drunk. His hair, usually perfectly styled was messed up, half of the strands standing up and his skin was clammy, eyes bloodshot.

The only thing that was halfway in focus was his gaze that was fixed on the less than respectable distance between you and his friend.

“Taehyung,” Seojoon was the first to speak, leaning away from you, surprised to see his friend so far gone.

Taehyung’s eyes flitted to him. “Hyung,” he sneered, “Having fun?” he asked, eyes roving to yours.

You bristled, immediately understanding what he was hinting at. You stood up. “Taehyung, you should go to bed now.” You said.

“Sure, come with me, unless you want to stay here with Hyung and…have some more fun.”

You winced, glancing at Seojoon who stood up as well, walking forwards to place a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“Taehyung-ah, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying. Let’s get you to your room ok?” he said soothingly.

Taehyung scoffed, throwing off Seojoon’s hand. “I’m fine, Hyung. If you’ll excuse me, I have to talk to my manager.”

Seojoon looked weary at that. “I don’t think it’ll be appropriate if I let her go with you in this state.”

“No, it’s fine.” You said quickly, already noticing the brewing anger and outrage in Taehyung’s eyes but Seojoon shook his head, “It’s not, Y/N.” He said and struck out a hand to stop you from going to Taehyung.

“Hey, don’t touch her!” Taehyung yelled immediately.

Seojoon’s eyebrows rose, hand still out as people began to look around, murmuring and pointing your group out.

“Taehyung, stop, he’s not ok, he’s not doing anything. Seojoon, please, he’s making a scene, let me take him out of here.” you gripped Seojoon’s arm in panic.

“I’m making a scene? Of course not, dearest Y/N. why, I’m in perfect control. Now come with me, now.” Taehyung growled.

“I can’t let you go with him, Y/N. I’m sorry but he’s not safe.” Seojoon said sternly and Taehyung lunged.

“No, Taehyung stop!” you screamed as Taehyung threw a punch. You didn’t know if it was the drunkenness or Seojoon’s military training but he quickly caught the fist, pushing his younger friend away.

“What the hell are you doing, Taehyung? I’m your friend.” Seojoon hissed and you slipped past him, grabbing Taehyung’s arm.

“Friends don’t hurt each other the way you did, Hyung.” Taehyung spat and then Shin was there, wrapping his arms around the struggling man.

By now a crowd had gathered around you and your ears burned in shame. But this wasn’t the time to be ashamed of his actions, you thought as you caught the cameras pointing at him.

“What do we do with him?” Shin asked.

You met Taehyung’s angry stare with your blank one. “Take him to his room and stay with him. Don’t let him leave. I’ll have to handle this.” you said as Shin began to usher the man to the exits.

Taehyung seemed to have given up the fight; figure slumped as he looked imploringly at you.

“Y/N,” you heard him say before the doors shut and the murmuring picked up again.

You turned to Seojoon urgently, examining his face for any hurt.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I doubt he is though.” Seojoon brushed off your concern.

“I’m so sorry about this. I really am.”

“Don’t be, Y/N, I enjoyed myself tonight. You should go to him, he’ll need you.” he said, offering you a pursed smile.

“And if you need me, you know where to find me,” he added just as you turned to leave, the whispers following you all the way to your room.

“I don’t understand!”

Mr. Bang slammed a fist on the wooden table.

“I do not understand why Taehyung would get drunk and pick a fight with Park Seojoon of all people. They are brothers, they are so close.”

You chewed on the end of your pencil as you tried to seem as if you were in thought. And so you were, thinking about the last 72 hours. Those were the critical period in which a crisis in image management could be resolved.

You’d flown back home in Seoul to deal with the media printing out the news of Taehyung’s fight with Park Seojoon. You’d managed to quell almost all of the further speculations in good time but the video proof had been spread and even gone viral.

You’d seethed at him internally for putting you on the spot and if he’d been here you’d have hit him.

You’d called Seojoon to tell him you were going back and he’d forwarded his desire to see you when you and he were free, a prospect you’d gladly taken up before you were on the flight back home, leaving Taehyung behind to complete the festival events, under the sharp watch of Shin.

Besides, there was more you had to do.

After a long time of consideration, you had decided to let go of your contract with Kim Taehyung. There was no way you and he would be able to work together like this. Not when Yubin was concerned and not when his own actions towards you were so questionable.

You’d put yourself out there twice and he’d smashed both those chances.

You were done with him.

So, here you were sitting with Jinyoung and Chanyeol again.

“I don’t know, Mr. Bang. And frankly, I don’t care. I cannot work with someone who has zero self control and I’m not willing to be his impulse inhibitor.” You said harshly.

Mr. Bang sighed.

“I thought after this time…I must’ve been wrong.” He said.

Your jaw clenched as your gut told you what he was hinting at.

“Well, seeing as my client doesn’t have any further ties to Big Hit, we’d like to take your leave now.” Chanyeol said, chancing a look at your face.

You had never been so thankful for your friends before. Mil’s mistake had made you remove the clause in which you had to find a suitable substitute for Taehyung.

You’d submitted your resignation and had only to wait for Taehyung to return to sign its acceptance.

Meanwhile, you were taking a vacation. You’d earned it.

“…and I would also like to ask for Seojoon’s forgiveness. I know what I did was way out of line and I cannot stress how ashamed I am that I got inebriated enough to hit one of my closest friends. I’m just happy he and my manager weren’t hurt.”

Your hands froze in the act of chopping up tomatoes for your dinner.

You hadn’t heard from Taehyung ever since that fateful night and the sudden onset of his deep tenor voice made you stop every motion as you listened.

“I would also like to explain the reason why I was so inebriated. I was under a forced deal. It was so stressful that I acted out in an atrocious manner towards my manager. She had been kind enough to bear with it but I feel now is the time to stop dragging her through the dirt like this. I can only ask for forgiveness, I’m afraid.”

You walked out of your kitchen to see him on the news channel.

Sitting on a panel, surrounded by Shin and Mr. Bang his head was bowed as he narrated his side of the events. About how he was drunk, how he didn’t mean it, how he was sorry…

You let out a scoff at his face. He was a fantastic actor; of course he would be magnificent in this role. After all, he was the nation’s Golden boy. He’d be forgiven anything.

The knock on your door, made you turn, frowning at the late visitor and opened the door a crack before gaping.

Taehyung’s head was bowed now as well, cap down turned, and mask on but it was easy to tell it was him. You’d always be able to recognize him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked, opening the door further.

His head rose to look up at you, small eyes brightening at the sight of you.

You looked around the hallway before ushering him in.

“Well?” you demanded, crossing your arms as he took his time, pulling off the cap and mask.

“I…I came to see you.” he said.

“Right, well you saw me, now you should leave.” You said coldly.

Taehyung’s face fell at that. He took a step forward, towards you. “Y/N, please, I’m sorry,” he paused, head turning to see him on your screen.

You and he watched him as the press conference repeated some snippets and you sighed, moving to the kitchen to pick up your knife again.

“Are you going…to stab me or something?” he asked, appearing in the doorway.

You rolled your eyes.

“No, but I do want you to leave.” You stressed.

“Y/N,”

You could feel him step into the kitchen, arms reaching for you before he sighed, dropping them.

You waited, seeing if he would actually leave.

“I don’t know, Y/N. I don’t know what I have to do. I need you to tell me. Just say it and I’ll do it. Anything to get you back,” he whispered.

You paused, watching him out of your periphery.

“I…I’m just a farm kid, Y/N. I don’t have much experience with this but I know I screwed up again. All I’m asking is for you to understand.” He said again.

You turned to face him.

His face had drooped, lips pouting.

“Why did you do it? Why would you go back to her? You didn’t even have the guts to tell me.”

“I didn’t go back to her!” Taehyung shook his head vehemently. “That’s the last thing I would do. I know I sound like I’m shifting blame but she…she’s the reason why I’m like this.”

He sighed before slumping down into one of your dining chairs.

“You know that Yubin was the one who scouted me but when I got popular enough, successful enough we began to date. I was…mesmerized by her. She was beautiful, smart, everything that a small town kid like me could want. I would’ve married her in a heartbeat. Of course, I knew my family didn’t exactly approve but…I honestly didn’t care. I proposed.”

He gave a bitter laugh.

“She said no, of course. It changed her. She began to stay out late, took more far off projects, leaving me behind. It wasn’t until later, when we broke up that she told me about all the other…men and women. I wasn’t experienced enough, not good enough for her. She wanted more. She didn’t want to settle with me.”

He broke off and you didn’t have to be a mind reader to know that it must’ve hurt.

“Well, what else was I supposed to do? We broke up and she left, retired. I became The Kim Taehyung. What you see in front of you now, is thanks to her.” He looked up with a hollow look on his face.

“I slept around, did everything to become more like her. Maybe then I’d be good enough but she never returned. After a while, I began to act like that out of habit. Call it fucked up, I’ll agree with you. When I met you, I honestly began to only see you something to be broken into what I wanted. Of course, I wanted you to be mine; the pool wasn’t part of the scenario. I don’t know when, but you weren’t a conquest to me after a time. You were making me better. You were making me…me, again. Even my mother said so.” He chuckled.

“I got protective of you. Anything that could wipe away the traces of her from me, I’d want to keep. That was you. So, imagine my horror when she came back and I saw her with you. It scared my life out of me, even more than seeing you on the floor with some girl trying to choke you. I’d have done anything to keep you from her.”

“That day on the stairwell, it was her who messaged me. So, I went to see what she wanted. I didn’t think she would want anything to do with you but I was scared she’d run you off. That was the only reason why I agreed when she told me to accompany her to the Galas. I didn’t tell you because; I didn’t know what you’d say. Of course, now I know that was dumber because I hurt you nevertheless. Also the whole thing with Seojoon Hyung…I can’t believe I did that.”

“You were jealous.” You said bluntly, finally breaking your silence and he nodded.

“Can you blame me? In my mind, all I could see was that I was losing you to him. The one thing I didn’t want to happen and it was happening right in front of my eyes. I lost it.”

He reached out suddenly, grabbing my hand to pull me closer to him.

“There, now you know everything. I even did the press conference because I couldn’t reach you. You wouldn’t even take my calls.”

You sighed.

“Taehyung…I like you, I do but…this; this isn’t good for me. I can’t have you become jealous and try to ruin everything, my reputation and yours in a fit of temper. Please,” you said, trying to pull away but he held fast.

A glint of determination shone in his eyes.

“I’ll give it up. If I can’t change then I’ll give it all up. None of this matters if it loses me you.” he said fiercely.

I snorted.

“Then what, you become like Yubin?” you asked backing off but this time he followed, definitely not willing to give up.

“Anything, I’ll do absolutely anything. I have more than enough money, Y/N. I can last well enough till I’m ready to come back to the scene. I only want you to take me back.”

You bite your lips, watching him.

“Why, what’s so special about me?” you asked.

He smiled a soft fond smile.

“You’re you. You’re patient, understanding, strict but kind and reasonable. You’re the first one to comment on my laugh being genuine. You’re the first one I’ve wanted to spend the night with and the first one I’ve wanted to impress.”

He was leaning in; his face so close that you could feel his warm breath waft against your skin.

“I might even say that I’m falling for you.” he whispered.

“If you…” you began, “make a fool out of me again, I will personally castrate you.” you warned.

His eyes widened a tad bit at the warning before he was nodding. “I’ll take it.” he said.

“Good,”

You and Taehyung stared at each other for a minute until the tension in the air reached a crescendo. You huffed and reached out for his shoulders, pulling him to you in a rough and messy kiss.

Taehyung let out a soft growl against your mouth, teeth clashing and nipping at your lips as he let you plunder his mouth, take the kiss the way you wanted.

His hands gripped at your hips, molding the flesh in his large palms as he pulled you tight to his chest. Heat bubbled in your chest, threatening to combust you as you broke off for breath.

“Taehyung,” you gasped and he pulled away; kiss swollen lip panting for breath, looking at you in question.

You looked around your slightly cramped kitchen before nodding to the living room hallway.

“Couch,” You mumbled, and he nodded immediately, ducking slightly and lifting you up so your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you out to your living room, setting you down on the plush material of the sofa before he was withdrawing to the door, locking and bolting it before returning to you.

The kiss he placed over your lips this time was sweeter and yet rough, him taking his time to grab your face in both of his hands.

“The things I want to do to you but I want you to take charge.” He mumbled against your skin and you whined, nails dragging across his covered bicep.

He began to tilt your head to place kisses under your jaw and along your neck and you groaned, your smaller hands running under his shirt to feel his back, pushing the fabric to bunch around his neck.

“Take it off,” you mumbled.

Taehyung obeyed, pulling back to toss the shirt off as he hovered over you again, allowing you to kiss up his chest. He grunted when you closed your mouth over his nipple and gave a hard suckle, peppering more kisses further up his torso.

He grinned down at you even as you sunk your teeth into his shoulder, earning a hissed ‘fuck’.

“You like biting me, baby?” he asked and you blinked owlishly up at him before he was pressing his lips to your again. “I liked it. You can have your way with me however you want.” He promised and your core clenched at his words, all sorts of fantasies coming back to you of months of imagining what you would’ve liked to do to him.

You had always wanted to see what his skin would taste like and now that was one fantasy checked off.

You raised your body up on your elbows and he pushed back onto his haunches, watching you as you began to push him back, making him sit back as you climbed onto his lap, just like the pool.

The way his eyes darkened, you knew he was remembering it too.

“I want to make you pay for all those months of annoying the fuck out of me,” you whispered, your voice husky and breathy and he groaned, head falling back before nodding.

“Go ahead,”

You latched onto his neck at the permission, making sure to leave a dark purple bloom across his golden skin. Taehyung chuckled at that, feeling you devour him as petals blossomed across his upper body.

“Marking me as yours? I might have to annoy you even more.” He teased before jolting as you pinched his left nipple, shutting him up.

You kept your eyes on him, watching his reactions. With the god like face he owned, you had to admit, his expressions only aroused you more as you fiddled with your shirt, unbuttoning it slowly.

Taehyung’s wide eyes followed the skin you bared to him, before his own hands moved, grabbing onto the simple cotton bra you had on, almost ripping it at the clasps to get it off of you.

The moment your bare breasts met his eyes, he smiled wickedly, leaning to take a peak in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth, lapping at it with his tongue, giving you the same, if not slightly gentler version of your treatment of him.

Shivers of pleasure rushed up your spine and you curled your fingers in the soft hair at the base of his neck, another fantasy fulfilled, pressing him closer to you.

“Fuck baby, you taste so good, I can’t wait to taste your pussy.” He muttered against you as he bucked his hips into yours.

“Later, take your time later; I want you inside of me now.” You gasped, feeling your wetness pool into your underwear and he pouted but relented.

Gripping your thighs tight, he made you look into his eyes.

“Right now, we’ll do it how you want but the next round I’m taking my time with you and I don’t want you to make a peep.” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“Brat,” you muttered at him but he only grinned, letting you clamber off of his lap.

Both of you leaned away to undo your jeans, him tossing his clothes away before pawing at yours, fingers hooking over yours to take your panties off.

“Jesus, look how wet you are, you can’t possibly not let me eat you out.”

For your part, you wanted to taste him too but you just keened, basking in the praise while slipping in a finger into your core to tantalize him into action.

Taehyung’s jaw slacked as he watched you finger yourself open, his eyes darting back and forth between your pussy and face. Finally reaching forward, he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand up to his mouth to suck at your soaked finger.

Damn, the way his tongue wrapped around your index made you want to screech even as he moaned.

“That’ll have to do for now.” He said, before he was driving back for his jeans, fingers fumbling into his pockets for a condom.

Ripping off the foil, he began to slow down to carefully put it on.

“Ready baby?” he asked, rolling it on him, waiting for your permission.

You nodded, quickly, feeling him desperately line himself with you and push in with a hard thrust, burying him into you to the hilt.

A cry escaped you at his roughness. Taehyung’s libido must have suffered from all the abstinence he’s practiced for you and you understood the greed he was dripping with now.

Taehyung cursed, hips rolling into you as he slowly pushed in and out, testing the waters. “Taehyung, please,” you whined again, your legs wrapping around his to drag him in closer to you. “I want you to go faster, harder.” You ordered, remembering his promise and his jaw set, eyes watching yours for any sign of discomfort before he nodded and set a furious pace, pumping him into you.

His face dropped, lips caressing yours as he whispered sweet and filth to you before he was running his fingers down your body, finding your clit as he rubbed it with his thumb.

Pants of your breath and his grunts filled the room, the static noise of a reporter talking about Kim Taehyung interrupting a few short moments of silence before your cries of pleasure drowned out the droning voice again.

“Come for me,” Taehyung said, index and thumb pinching your now swollen and hard nub.

You exploded, stars twinkling behind your eyes as he followed soon after, grunting and groaning as he emptied himself into the condom.

There was a silence as you both reveled in the catharsis of the pent up sexual tension releasing before he was getting off of you, going into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. “We won’t do it again with the TV on,” you grumbled, reaching around for the remote to shut the TV off as you heard him chuckle from inside.

Once he returned, wrapping both of you up in the couch blanket, he nuzzled up into your neck.

“How will you resign if I don’t accept?”

He asked suddenly and you let out a tired chuckle.

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

Tagged game

Tagged By : @prettyoddfiction Tagging : i dunno answer if you want Name : Winnie Nickname : irl, i don't have one, but Winnie is short for Winifred. And my online name is usually demonista Gender : ugh, i have this blog to endlessly sexualize beebo, and want it to be about that not tumblr snowflake gender politics (confusing personality with gender with sex) but I'm a gender abolitionist. I'm a female human being trapped in patriarchy. Height : 5'5" and a bit Star Sign : Libra (Oct 8) Sexuality : Bisexual, with a preference for men, is my orientation. (It can shift, but about 2/3 het, 1/3 homo.) And if you’ve followed me much, you can guess some of my sexual preferences, oh dear. Hogwarts House : This is Harry Potter right? I don't follow it--like I haven't even watched a full Harry Potter movie, let alone read a book. (I used to read Tamora Pierce, that name mean anything to anyone? ;) Francesca Lia Block is another great YA author )  Favorite Animal : does Bden looking n acting like a cute wee pup count? I like doggies, bonobos, penguins, cus cus, platypus... Average Hours Of Sleep : 4-7 a night, usually 6? Dogs or Cats : DOGGIES Blankets I Sleep With : usually 2, depending on weather (a sheet to three blankets). One blanket I have, I've had for over 20 years, and I have pleasant childhood memories of it wink wink nudge nudge Dream Trip : I'd like to go to the west coast again, like Vancouver or Portland. I'd like to visit Australia, India, Sweden. Dream Job : being paid handsomely to write smut and politics (feminism, animal lib/rights, anti-cap) When I Created My Blog : July 12th, 2017 afaict Follower Count : 111 (tank u followers!) Why I Decided To Have A Tumblr : This one is bc I'm pretty. obsessed. (I'm such a cheeseball) with Bden, Panic! lore and what-ifs, reading bden/panic smut both imagines and fanfic about band members/significant others/friends. I have a mostly political tumblr (with some fandom stuff like spn & doctor who) but I've not been on it in a long ass time. The latter I got after I attended a radical feminist conference in Portland several years ago and a lot of the women were on tumblr. Meaning Behind My URL : beebo being warm n soft, like a kitty or doggie :) i went with an "affectionate" as opposed to a more sexual blog name (bc the blog itself/my writing is hella sexual, whoa boy). also in reaction to all these teen girls thinking of bden as a "daddy" with all the domination etc tones. (this isn't surprising, considering our current pornified sexual landscape, and i'm not here to shame teen girls & young women struggling to be sexual/discover sexuality in this world.) i'm 30, and i remember beebo being a teenaged, goobery, bootilicious, stage gay harrasser of ryan when i heard of them when i was 19 & in university. i kinda got into them in the fever and pretty odd eras but i was a ryan girl back then, and they weren't one of my fave bands, although i did read some fanfic (oh i remember livejournal and used to be on it but didn't write panic nor was i actually involved in panic communities), saw some stage gay, interviews, etc. i became focused on them last year--when i was watching our baby boy on youtube, and listened to the doab album, and vices--those two albums were the ones that got me--and the brallon, periscopes, stripping, etc didn't hurt either. the ladance song/part of the stage show kinda put me off them back in uni, as did the open letter lana jade rather likely penned (but quickly disavowed)--the latter, i hope wasn't true, bc then that means bden had treated her and other women/girls that way. (i have thoughts on it--like he obviously did *something* to her, bc a woman doesn't put that out there just for giggles--but what? was what he did do even in the letter? were a couple things in it true, and which ones? were there things in it that bden didn't do, but other men did (either to her or to friends of hers)? i lean towards thinking she did write it, and some of it was true, and whether the sexual/physical abuse allegations in the letter were true or not, he *did* hurt her, sexually/relationally--but we'll probably never know bc she said a former friend wrote it to get back at her and hasn't said anything else since? does anyone have a more detailed timeline/info on this, bc i take it seriously and would like to know if they do? it's pretty sad how this letter lives on in infamy as the "coffee table ruiner" letter--it WAS everything and the kitchen sink in terms of accusations--but had a lot of serious allegations too, and it was disheartening to see it dismissed as "what did she expect"/"lolz"/"that's acceptable from guys"/"she's a slut"/etc then and now)

(winnie gets serious on the last question)

[reggiesflannel]

Shape of You - Jack Maynard Imagine

Summary: Jack and Y/N have known each other forever and have liked each other for almost as long, yet refuse to admit it to each other. One night at a club forces them to confront everything.

Word Count: 3,078

Trigger Warnings: slight sexual harrassment, slight bullying/teasing

Author's Note: so I haven’t posted any fanfic on here in almost five years, so please be kind and please please give me feedback! I love getting constructive criticism about my writing. Also send in requests if you have them!

For as long as you could remember, Jack Maynard had been in your life in one form or another. He always seemed to be around and as such, many of your childhood memories featured him and his older brother, alongside your favourite cousins. 

The Maynard Brothers had grown up across the road from your cousins growing up and always seemed to be there the same time that you were. With only an older brother who was more than ten years your senior, you spent most of your time with your cousins and they were more like siblings than cousins when you were growing up.

All of your important memories had him in it. When you broke your wrist when you were seven – Jack was the one who’d pushed you. All your birthdays and family barbeques – Jack was there pranking you with your cousins. You went to the same school and somehow wound up becoming friends with the same people. 

Basically, Jack was a part of your life as much as your cousins were. Your mother loved to tease you growing up that one day you’d fall in love with Jack and live happily ever after. The thought repulsed you - as if you would want to be stuck with the slimy little git for the rest of your life!It wasn’t until you got to secondary school that things started to get complicated. 

Jack and your youngest cousin were in the year above you, while his older brother, Conor, and your oldest cousin were two years above them. You all went to a large secondary school outside of Brighton, and you rarely saw the four of them during school hours. 

For the first time in your life, the older kids didn’t overshadow you and you started to become your own person.You still saw all of them every weekend, still had family celebrations and barbeques together and did the same things that you always had done. Jack and Conor were still the dumb boys across the road who hadn’t quite discovered the magic of personal hygiene quite yet. Your mother still teased you about the only reason that bothered you was because you liked one of them. You still thought she was delusional. Why on earth would any sane girl want to be with a boy who didn’t know what deodorant was? At that point in your life, you didn’t think you’d ever love anyone as much as you loved Nick Jonas.

Until one day, when you overheard one of the girls in your year boasting about having hooked up with Jack at a party. She was sprouting to a group of girls in your class about Jack’s magical tongue, and you couldn’t help but dry retch in response. Even though you were on opposite sides of the room, she seemed to have heard you, and loudly whispered to the group how some people were just so jealous of others.

You didn’t bother trying to conceal your snort this time, you shook your head slightly as you rolled your eyes. You? Jealous of her kissing Jack Maynard? Not in a million years. It wasn’t like he’d actually keep her around. Jack kissed girls all the time, you heard as much from your cousin, you could only guess that he’d already made it through all the girls in his own year who would kiss him, so he’d had to resort to the desperate girls in your year instead.

You had no way of knowing then, that he actually would keep her around. Suddenly she was there at all of your family get-togethers, and Jack was never there on the weekends. It bothered you and you hadn’t a clue as to why. Why should you care if he wasn’t there? All he did was tease you about tripping over and try and pull on your hair.

You tried to talk to your mum about it, and that went about as well as you should have expected.

“I just don’t get him! He’s known her for two minutes and now it’s like she’s part of the family! They’re always groping each other and sticking their tongues down each other’s throats, it’s so gross! Does she know that he only figured out what deodorant was like last week?” You groaned to her in the kitchen during a family barbeque, leaning against the counter while she made a cup of tea.

“Sounds like somebody is jealous …” she said in a sing-song voice, a delighted smile lighting up her entire face, “Oh honey, it’s about time you realised how much you like him!” she grinned, laughing at the horrified look of disgust on your face.

“Just look at him normally for once, okay? Come over here and look!” She waved you over to the kitchen window, sighing in annoyance when you didn’t move, “Humour me for once,” she directed you, smiling appreciatively when you dragged yourself over to her side.

The kitchen window was quite large and gave a very clear view of your backyard. You could see Conor and your younger cousins engaged in some sort of water fight, all of your parents gathered around on the patio laughing at something your dad was saying, and then there was Jack and her. They were cuddled up near a tree at the very back of the garden.

When had Jack gotten so tall? You had always been taller than him, for your entire life, yet now he was standing against that tree and was a good head taller than a branch you knew you had hit your head on only this morning. The more than you looked at him, you noticed other things. Gone was the scrawny little shit who had tormented you as a kid; he still wasn’t ridiculously big but he actually looked like a man, not a little boy. Had his teeth always been that white? And since when had simply looking at him made your stomach roll? Was it possible that your mother was right?

Your eyes darted across the yard to where Conor was, another smile spreading across your face when you noticed him sitting down next to your cousin, who had previously been sunbathing near the pool. You’d always thought they would make a lovely couple, why couldn’t they see it when everyone else could tell they were into each other? It was so frustrating!

Suddenly a pair of fingers dug into your waist, making you jump and gasp as you banged your knee on the cupboard door. Spinning around, you noticed that your mother was gone, and instead, Jack was in front of you with a smug smirk on his face, when had he gotten here?

“You’re so easy to scare!” he chortled, bracing his hands on his knees as he laughed at your expense. You scowled at him, shoving his shoulder roughly in irritation. “What are you staring so hard at anyway?” he asked as you both looked out the window again.

“Conor and [Y/C/N],” You answered him simply, “Wondering when they’re gonna buck up and admit that they like each other,” you continued, peeking at Jack out of the corner of your eye and marvelling at how sharp his jawline was, surely that wasn’t normal, right? That thing could cut glass!

Jack snorted at your answer, “It’s Conor, he’s a little pussy, he’ll never tell her unless he knows for sure that she likes him back, it’s simple self-preservation,” he stated, narrowing his eyes when you let out a snort of your own.

“Must be a Maynard thing then, being a pussy,” you smirked at the offended look on his face, “Conor’s been in the pants of half the girls in Brighton, how on earth is [Y/C/N] meant to know she won’t just be another notch in his bedpost?” you argued back.

Jack rolled his eyes as he turned to face you; crossing his arms across his chest and making you wonder where in the hell those biceps had come from. “Maynard’s aren’t pussies! If anything [Y/L/N]’s are pussies! I don’t see you or [Y/C/N] with boyfriends, now do you?” he snarled at you, reminding you of the mean streak of his that often reared it’s head whenever he got agitated. “Perfect little virgin [Y/N] on her high horse can’t even get a boyfriend,” he sneered at you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you scoffed at him, letting out a loud bark of laughter, “Why would you think that I need a boyfriend in order to not be a virgin, Jack?” you goaded him in a sickly sweet tone of voice, before spinning on your heel and retreating to the bathroom upstairs, leaving a slack-jawed Jack Maynard in your wake.

Once you were safely in your en suite bathroom, you felt a couple of stray tears slip down your cheeks, splashing against the ivory rim of the sink. You wiped them away quickly, glaring at your reflection in the mirror in a silent argument to toughen up and brush it off. 

Jack was still the same boy who delighted in tormenting you, and that would never change.You weren’t about the melt into one of the girls who fawned over him; you were better than that. If he wanted to pretend you weren’t there when he saw you then fine, there were way cuter boys in your year anyway, you resolved with a smile as you flounced out of your bathroom.

If only you actually believed that was true.

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Fast forward another few years and you could scarcely believe the way in which your life had changed. 

Instead of spending your lunches daydreaming about getting out of Brighton, you were living in a flat in London with your cousin and attending the university course of your dreams. 

Jack and Conor had devoted their time and lives to youtube and it had really paid off for them. You had gained five new friends through knowing the Maynards and could scarcely imagine your life without them.

  There were some things that would never change, though; after a brutal break up two years ago, Jack had sworn off relationships and become the same player that Conor had been through school. Conor still wouldn’t admit that he was in love with [Y/C/N] and vice versa. And you were still trying to convince yourself that you didn’t have a thing for Jack Maynard.

Over the years you had tried to forget about him, tried to bury the feelings deep down in your chest. No matter what you heard from your friends or your mum, you refused to believe that the feelings might actually have been reciprocated and that there could have been a chance for you and Jack. You had come to really value Jack as a friend and him finding out that you harboured some dorky crush on him was your actual worst fear. Things were fine the way they were. 

Your cousin was always trying to set you up on blind dates so one of them had to work out eventually, right?

Tonight was one such night. Your cousin had set you up with one of her work friends and at first things had been fine; the guy, who kind of reminded you of Mikey, had been nice enough initially, complementing you on your outfit and offering to buy you a drink yet not pushing you when you refused, you weren't particularly attracted to him but you entertained him in order to make [Y/C/N] happy and to get her off your back about telling Jack how you felt. Things had been going fine.

That was until you had run into Conor and Josh, and your 'date' had lashed out, telling them to fuck off and leave you both alone. You had been trying to pull away but his grip on your wrist was too tight and you could only imagine the marks that his beefy hands would be leaving around your wrist. 

He dragged you out into the middle of the dance floor, moving his hands to your waist and digging his fingers in, pulling you up against him and grinding against you. You could feel the revulsion rolling off of you in waves as he panted against your neck. You wanted to cry, or scream or beat him off you but you were trapped and you couldn't see anyone you knew anymore. You just hoped that Conor or Josh would pass by again so you could latch onto them.

On the other side of the club, unbeknownst to you, Conor had instructed Josh to keep an eye on you whilst he stepped into the smokers area to call his little brother. As much as Conor wanted to rip that guy's arms out of the sockets, he knew that this was something that Jack needed to do and see. He was so sick and tired of watching you and Jack dance around your feelings and he felt that this might be the very thing Jack needed to push him over the edge. Jack had opted to stay home tonight, instead of coming out with them, so he was probably watching the football in his underwear again or something.

"Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up," Conor grumbled under his voice as he listened to the phone ringing out, if Jack had called up one of his booty calls after the very serious conversation they'd had this afternoon, he would actually deck his little brother. His shoulders visibly sagged in relief when Jack's voice came down the line.

"Struck out already have you?" he chuckled, balancing his phone between his shoulder and ear as he searched through the fridge for something to eat, he was kind of regretting his decision to stay home now so a call from Conor had raised his spirits significantly. 

"You've gotta come here mate, right now. It's [Y/N]," Conor rushed out, realising with a start that a number of things could have happened in his absence, he just hoped that Josh would step in if things escalated too far. Jack would never forgive them if anything happened to you. 

Meanwhile, on the other end of the phone call, Jack was already shoving his feet into his shoes and shrugging his jacket on while still listening to Conor.

"Where are you? What's going on? Is she alright?" he rushed out as he grabbed his keys and wallet, shoving them into his pocket as he ran down the stairs two at a time. "Text me what club your at and just keep your eye on her okay? If anything happens to her, it's your funeral, Conor," he stressed to his older brother, already in the middle of ordering an Uber to pick him up. 

Conor sighed softly as he got off the phone, running a hand through his hair before turning to walk back in the bar, praying to god that Jack was here quickly.

You, on the other hand, were running out of options. You couldn't see Conor or Josh or any of your friends and the crowd around you seemed to be multiplying by the second. You could feel the guy behind you dragging his mouth down your neck painfully and rubbing his crotch against your ass roughly. You could feel tears pricking at the edge of your eyes as it occurred to you that you might have to leave with this guy. All you could do was think of Jack, and how you wished that it was him instead of the thug behind you.

"Oi Luv, whattaya say we take off back to my place and have some real fun," he groaned in your ear in what you were sure he thought was a sexy manner but just made him sound like he was constipated. Your heart started thumping in your chest as you tried to think of a way out of this and failed to find one.

"Mate you are punching so far above your weight it's not funny," you heard a voice behind you and nearly collapsed in pure joy and relief. The man behind you released you from his grip and you stumbled slightly, peeking around him to see Jack standing before you both with a confident grin on his face.

Before you could think or reconsider your actions, you were pushing past the man who'd had you in a death grip for the past hour and standing close to Jack. 

He looked at you worriedly, reaching up and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently as he looked you over, "You okay, sweetheart?" he asked in the gentlest voice you'd ever heard him use. You almost melted at the soft tone of his voice and the gentleness of his actions, nodding slightly and smiling at him appreciatively. 

The hand that had been behind your ear slipped down to the small of your back, almost the same place the other man's hands were before, except this time in filled you with comfort instead of revulsion.

Pulling you in front of him, Jack led you out of the club and onto the sidewalk, you were sure you looked a mess, the result of being stuck in that man's grip for almost two hours. 

Once you were outside, you could finally breathe, and that was when everything hit you all at once, all the emotions and what if's hit you like a freight train, causing you to turn around and hug Jack as tight as you possibly could. 

Your entire body shook as you hugged him tightly, feeling a wave of relief and safety roll over you violently as he held you close to him just as hard.

"Shh, hey, it's okay, [Y/N], everything's fine, I've got you, baby," he cooed in your ear as his hand ran up and down the length of your back softly, smoothing down your hair as you both stood near where the Uber was due to pick you up.

He was so glad he had got there when he did, seeing you so scared and so powerless had been like a bullet to the chest; he wasn't used to seeing you that way and he didn't like it. He had wanted to rip the man to shreds and probably would have, but then he saw how relieved you were, and the other man vanished. 

He knew that he didn't want to have to ever worry about another man having his hands on you again, and he would tell you how he felt; but not tonight, tonight he just needed to be here for you and comfort you.   

Strongly considering maybe doing a part two to this? Let me know if you want one! 

[puzzleberry]

I must mention I have an excellent morning today. I did wake up half way in my sleep at night, but it was through elation. I don't remember exactly what I dream but I was very sure it was something good and it made me so happy that it woke me up. I had another good dream again (which I still don't remember the details) after sleeping back. The whole point lifted my mood as I proceeded my day.

I spoke to my US friends in the morning as usual. One messaged me about his surprise on my affinity to music boxes after reading my yesterday's post. I giggled as I described some of the music boxes I own. Come to think of it, I never really tell anyone before (of me liking music boxes). It wasn't done intentionally. I just didn't get the opportunity to ever talk about them. No one brought up the topic, so I didn't mention. Simple as that.

At the same time, I talked to my other friends about my desire to adopt a cat keep me company. I am unsure if I really want it yet, so rather than becoming a bad owner, I choose to KIV the interest. Still, I did mention I will visit SPCA to look around once I get the chance. Perhaps I will end up meeting 'the one meow' there which I absolutely want it with me.

I have two friends (who are sisters) came over as well. They brought homecooked food to eat with me in my house. To be honest, I was kind of embarrassed because this is the first time someone ever did that to me. They stayed for a while as we attempt to raid the new dungeon in the mobile game we played together. They were 'sexually harrassing' my dakimakura(s) too, talking about how it actually feel lovely to hug and they need to buy themselves one. I remained stun for a while as I wonder if I am starting a cult over this.

Other than this, I received a request from *him*. He wanted to come over, which I let him to. He arrived few minutes after I sent off the sisters. He gave his regards and I briefed my few moments with him, telling him I am just being okay. The conversations weren't too awkward. I asked him about his job, seeing he lost it few weeks ago. He replied he has been job hunting since this Monday and hoping he will get a good one this time. I remained my silence for few reasons: 1) He is picky when it comes to what he wants in a job; 2) He wants salary inequals to his ability; 3) He has many opinion about jobs despite never keeping it better than me.

I remembered how I noted these flaws of him back when we are together. I am unsure if he changed this time (I never ask the details). I didn't remind him either, because it is no longer my issue. Anyway, he wanted to send me his resume for my boss. I wasn't surprised. I did tell him few weeks back that my sister company may be hiring after all. Being a professional I am to my work, I asked any particular position he is seeking. I did briefed my sister company's field, just so he understands what he will be dealing with. Well, it goes technical from here so I will skip the specifics instead.

The talk went on normally until I began to mock his speed in finding a new partner (it's in my blood, can't help it). He frowned and asked me does he look really happy at the moment. I told him anyone in his honeymoon period should be happy. He replied that he is not, because his family needs money and he really needs a job. He doesn't live like me who has leisure to not work and be financially fine. His parents don't work, he has to support his family. The same yapping started (I know his family problem since long time ago).

As his mouth moved, I brooded his new girl must be either love-blind or an idiot to accept a jobless and financially unstable person like him. I should even give her an applaud, since according to him, she knows about my existence (my suicide and so) and is fine with it. Seriously, I cannot date a person like him. It is just totally against me.

Putting these aside, I am secretly glad he is facing all these troubles. I can be a vengeful individual I suppose. It doesn't hurt me to see him like this, and I actually hope he will grow more miserable. It feels karma is doing its job, and for once, the world is treating me right. It gave me motivation to live better than him.

To end this, I shall chant this three times: Fiat justitia ruat cælum!