#i had a great time but ough me waiting here for a whole year for the next one.....

[madamescarlette]

artfully drapes m'self over the nearest comfy armchair in an ailing pose: my dears, The Stolen Heir has ever so slightly devastated me.

[emetkoto]

good day mimi do you have any underrated emetkoto moments or little obscure facts you'd like to share? :3

okok im gonna use this opportunity to try and explain that little moment i was having trouble putting into a post bc it was just so small it wasnt working but like. in my head. i have this idea right.

yknow when you find emet-selch in the capital building in the tempest before the amaurot dungeon? i was thinking about how when they get there k'oto calls out to him but instead of using his little nickname for him (just emet) that hes always used he uses his full title for once and emet selch does a little double take and snaps back like "oh, not on a first name basis anymore are we?" or smth along those lines...its such a little thing but its just one of those things that makes go hHOOH every time ithink about it...k'oto trying to show respect in a desperate attempt to get him to listen to reason and just talk to him and emet selch weaponizing it trying to poke and prod and provoke him so they can fight and get it over with before he has to think about it anymore......weehee and by weehee i mean (SOBS)

The first time he calls him with no intention of banging him too is great emet selch tries to go through the motions as usual but k'oto is like 'hey can we just hang out actually' and emets like '?????? you want me to just stay here and do nothing????' and god he has complaints about it but he does it anyway even though he absolutely does not have to and can leave any time :) its almost like he wants to spend time with him or smth smh...he just chills in the corner whole k'oto does whatever, eating dinner, writing in his journal, polishing his weapons etc etc...the whole time huffing and puffing and occasionally complaining but also slowly inching closer and closer without even realizing it and helping him with things like cleaning up dinner and folding his clothes and such...by the end of the night theyre chilling on the sofa together reading a book and neither of them have even realized whats happened...k'oto falls asleep leaning on emet selch and thats when hes like 'ah shit. what the hell. im enjoying myself too much.' and tucks the catboy in before ditching 🥺

in kind of the same vein the first time k'oto wakes up and emet selch is still there cuddling him makes me feel feral to think about just.....ough at that time emet selch had started staying to cuddle after hours but he was always gone by the time k'oto woke up (or at the very least not in bed with him, possibly chilling at the table fully dressed waiting for him to wake up or smth) so waking up in his arms for the first time was just. magical :,) it was the first time he'd gotten to see him sleeping too upto that point he wasnt convinced that emet selch ever DID sleep outside of his 100+ year naps and it surprised him so much the dumbass was like ?! and woke him up like 'youre still here?????' and emet just kinda pulled him back down and was like 'be quiet and enjoy the peace before your friends show up' and so,,,,he did!! they both did....and from then on they always woke up together :,)

they wedding is extremely underrated only bc every time i try to talk about it i feel like im going to blow up and explode everywhere and die it makes me so happy so ive had. a very hard time making posts about it bc its just. so good. so very very very good someday i swear to christ ill finish that essay answer i owe it just makes me feel SO MUCH you get it. you understand me. as we've established you all comprehend my thoughts and feelings

these are just a bunch of jumbled separate thoughts so i might as well embrace that and keep going with it and go off about their pet names now bc i love them...obviously k'otos nickname for him is just. emet without the selch and at first it kind of annoys him like thats a big important title that was given to him and it seemed like the catboy was making a mockery of him but he kinda grows to like it as he gets to know k'oto bc like...yeah nobody ever called him that in his whole life not even apollo or hyth and it was strangely nice...probably my least in character emet selch thing i write for them but i stand by it :) i have more cringe things i could say about that but anyway. emet selch starts out just calling k'oto Hero (derogatory) ofc but as it goes on he throws in some other stuff like 'my dear' (also derogatory at the time) 'my dear hero' etc etc until they actually. yknow. start being together and then those 'dear's become more affectionate and he throws in some other stuff like 'my sweet' 'beloved' etc etc :,) never his name though...not until he drags him to the tempest to marry him and after that he erases his memories of it and doesnt do it again till ultima thule so </3 men will literally call each other 'love' and still run away at the slightest implication that theyre maybe madly in love. how embarrassing for them

[achtung-attitude]

CHAPTER 37: Weezer - Part 2

Kilo struggles to his feet at the bottom of a hole that did not exist ten seconds ago. Toto watches him from the rim of the hole, smiling easily without any hint of malice. 

The enemy rubs his eyebrow with a spidery finger and explains, “Five years ago, yeah? There was an accident,” he says, as if sitting across from Kilo in a bar booth, “They was setting up some sort of overhead sound system or whatever, and they ended up droppin’ a couple tons of equipment from the ceiling. Made a hole in the floor. Right here, dig? The convention centre administrators were too cheap to fix it right, so they just covered the hole with plaster. Came back to bite ‘em in the ass though, cause eventually that hole opened up into a sinkhole that swallowed up six people!”  

Kilo glares up at him as he chuckles, continuing his lackadaisical monologue. “Moral of the story? It all comes back to you. No matter how deep you bury ‘em, every misfortune stacks up, until it blows up in yo’ face. My WEEZER… is just what ignites it. I told ya, you’d only get one chance to walk.”

By the time he’s finished, Kilo is back on his feet, not appearing the least bit intimidated. “I don’t give a shit,” he declares, then SATURN BARZ drives its taloned fingers into the wall of the pit. The Stand gouges a cleft of dry rock from the wall, and the wall begins to bubble and froth, turning into a thick, gravelly sludge. This effect extends upwards, reaching the rim of the pit. 

“Whuh--?” Toto says, as the ground he’s standing dissolves into a sheer mudslide, and his feet are caught up in the muck. He bolts upright, flailing his arms to keep his balance.

But while he focuses on this, Kilo ascends from the hole, having been raised up by SATURN BARZ. He grabs a fistful of Toto’s hoodie and pulls himself forward. Toto is pulled in the opposite direction, losing his balance and tumbling forward into his own pit trap. Kilo lands on the edge of the hole in a crouch at the same moment Toto hits the bottom, standing submerged up to his waist in liquid concrete. With a swift whirl of its hands, SATURN BARZ reverts the mudslide back into solid concrete, trapping his opponent in solid stone.

“Uhh--” Toto utters, not entirely sure what has just happened to him.

“Some nightmare!” Kilo taunts at him, “Damn. And here I was expecting a challenge outta you. What a joke!”

Before the Congregation assassin can say anything back, Kilo gets up and walks away, amidst a Convention floor in various stages of agony. Upwards of 300 people roll around groaning in pain, while others, unaffected, either run about or stand struck dumb, helpless among the sudden horror. 

“Jesus…” he mutters, rushing to attend to Moya. The cold sweat that formed on her flesh as a result of WEEZER’s touch has now developed into a corpse-like pallor that’s turned her bronze skin to a sickly gray. “What the hell’s happening to you?” he asks, kneeling to help her up.

“I-it’s Toto’s ability…” she answers after a brief coughing fit and spitting an absurd volume of green mucus. Her voice is scratchy, and her breath is short and shallow, but she takes his hand nonetheless, and drapes her over his shoulders.

Kilo places the back of his hand on her forehead, then pulls it back quickly. “You’re burning up! What ability could do this?!”

“It’s pneumonia…!” she asserts, “Ough, when I was 10, I caught pneumonia after staying out in the rain…! Abuela said not to stay out so long, but I didn’t listen… Agh, doesn’t matter!! Whatever it is, Toto was the one that caused this! I’ve never worked with him before, but… the ability must revive illnesses from your past to harm you in the present…!”

Kilo glances around the convention hall once more, then nods in agreement. “Sure. But what about the sinkhole?”

“Buildings can be damaged, too. And Hotel California demonstrated how a structure can have its own history and will.”

“Right. Alright…” he is quiet for a moment, then he carries her to a nearby column and sits her down against it. “Hang tight,” he says, starting back towards the pit, “I’m gonna finish that muthafucka off.”

“Wait!” Moya cries out, straining her voice. “You need to be cautious! I-if he touches you, then you’ll be caught in his ability too!” 

A grin spreads across Kilo’s lips. “Worst I ever got was a cold when I was 6! His ability might be hot shit if you had something bad like you did, but it’ll take more’n a couple sniffles to stop me! Not to mention, he’s enough of a scrub to get himself caught in his own trap! Asshole’s dead-meat already!” He says this as he reaches the rim of the pit, but finds thats Toto is no longer trapped in the concrete.

Right as he begins to search for him, Toto reveals himself, speaking from behind Kilo. “It’s rude to talk ‘bout people behind their backs,” he declares, brushing loose gravel off him, “But, I guess, I got nobody to blame but myself, yeah?”

Kilo and SATURN BARZ whirls around towards their enemy, the Stand forming a spear of solidified oxygen in its hand. It jabs the impromptu icicle at Toto’s throat, but he dodges to the side with a lazy grin on his face. WEEZER manifests in front of him, and reaches for SATURN BARZ with the same blinding speed it showed to WITCH MOUNTAIN. But Kilo is ready, as just before the mangled enemy Stand grabs a hold of his throat, the ice spear suddenly explodes into frigged shrapnel right in Toto’s face. 

The Congregation assassin winces as the icy shards pelt him over his body. “AHH!! Damn, that hurts!!” he yelps, and in that moment of distraction, SATURN BARZ lunges for him, claws aimed at his face. Toto gathers himself and sways back with footwork that would make Muhammad Ali proud, and WEEZER jerks a knuckle to the ground.

Kilo’s foot falls in the exact spot where WEEZER touched, and the ground beneath it gives way, opening into another hole, smaller than the first and shallower, only going halfway up his calf. He drops and lands flat-footed. He groans as pangs of pain run up his leg. 

“Guess two sinkholes was too good to be true,” Toto says before WEEZER lurches into a new attack. 

“Don’t let him touch you!” Moya shouts, watching all of this from her pillar. 

With a swift backhand swipe, SATURN BARZ bats WEEZER’s hands out of the way. Toto grunts as heavy ice begins to form on his Stand’s hand and the biting cold effect transfers over to himself. In the meantime, Kilo steps out of the pit trap and puts distance between him and his opponent. 

Toto raises an eyebrow at him. “What was it you said? ‘Take more’n a couple sniffles to stop me’. If you ain’t scared of what my WEEZER can do, how come you standing so far away?” 

“I’m not scared. But I’m not stupid either and I know you Congregation pricks are full of dirty tricks.”

The Congregation assassin laughs. “Heheheh… That’s pretty smart… Or it would be, if touching you was the only way WEEZER could hurt you.”

WEEZER’s hand flex suddenly, its fingers spreading and shattering the frost forming on its hand. It then launches its entire body in Kilo’s direction with a piercing screech. “BIIISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…”

“Shi--!!” Kilo says, raising SATURN BARZ to guard, but to his surprise, WEEZER sails right over his head and slams its palm into the wide window behind him. Then the glass begins to shudder and vibrate violently, before WEEZER peels away from it, and the window explodes inwards, showering Kilo with a hail of glass. 

“AAGH!” he yells, and SATURN BARZ tries to shield its user from the oncoming barrage of glass, but is unable to get them all, as thick shards pierce Kilo in his arm, ribs and thigh.

“That one was an accident too,” Toto calls, “Tropical storm hit Anaheim about ten years ago, tore up a tree that broke a window. Nobody got hurt that time, though!” 

Kilo winces as SATURN BARZ dissolves the glass into liquid and his wounds close up into red marks. “Shit!” he thinks, “It’s like his Stand can do anything he wants it to! Even if I don’t let him touch me, if I keep letting him make all the moves, I’m a dead man! There’s gotta be something I can use!!”

He searches with his eyes frantically around the convention hall, hunting for something to gain an advantage over this seemingly impossible enemy. Toto seems perfectly content to simply watch him, hands in his pockets, without a care in the world. Kilo grinds his teeth and scowls at him.

“Hey, come ooon, what’s that look for? I already gave you a chance, and you didn’t take it. Don’t blame me for your mistakes~…”

Kilo answers with a flick of the wrist from SATURN BARZ, firing shards of solidified water vapor at his opponent. The assassin dodges, then dodges the next batch, and keeps up with Kilo when he starts running down the hall, leaping over afflicted guests and tearing through convention booths.

SATURN BARZ keeps up the attack the whole time, flinging at Toto with frozen projectiles. WEEZER blocks them all with its unmitigated speed, its jaw hanging loose from its skull swinging to and fro with every staccato motion. 

Kilo vaults onto a table and SATURN BARZ takes its Olympian stance, forming a great ice javelin in its palm and hurling it at its enemy. It is the same kind as before, set with opposing impulses within its structure so it may explode into a smokescreen, even if WEEZER deflects it. But WEEZER does not deflect it.

Instead, it jerks its right foot underneath a convention guest with angry red spots growing on his face. The unfortunate guest’s body lifts off the ground and WEEZER catches him by the back of his neck, holding him in front of its master. The guest’s eyes clear up for long enough to see the ice spear fly at him before it impales him through his shoulder. He loses consciousness when the spear explodes, turning his wound into a bloody cavity you could see through. Toto is left completely unscathed.

“What… What the fuck did you do?!” Kilo shouts, staring in shock and disgust.

“What did I do? I… protected myself from your attack. What’s it look like?” WEEZER grips its human shield by the neck then tosses it at Kilo, who dives from the table to catch him. When he does, the diseased Stand appears and lunges for him.

“First he uses this guy as a shield, now as a distraction!? This bastard…!!” Kilo thinks. Before WEEZER can lay its mottled hands on him, SATURN BARZ strikes out with a kick to its gut that knocks the wind out of Toto. Kilo then rolls out of its range, clutching the guest’s body.

“You son of a bitch…!” he snarls while SATURN BARZ closes the unconscious guest’s wound, “What’s the matter with you!?! How can you involve innocent people like this?!!”

Toto, as ever, treats his words like a joke, laughing softly. “Haha… It’s just bad luck. It ain’t my fault, and it ain’t yours. He just happened to be here at the wrong time, and happened to get involved in our little playdate. If you take the time to worry about every little ant you step on, you’d never take another step.”

“You sick fuck…”

“What’re you getting so upset for? Human lives ain’t that big a deal,” the Congregation assassin fixes his posture, recovering from SATURN BARZ strike, “All humans are just vessels for Fate to enact its will. Even Stand users like us. Stands are reflections of the soul, but that doesn’t mean that having one is anything special. They got nothing to do with good or evil, or justice. All it means is that Fate chose us to have a little bit more impact in its design. Fate chose you, just like it chose me. You and I were always going to fight here today, and that guy, and these people, were always going to get caught in the middle. No matter how much you fight it, we both ultimately serve the same power.”

“Again…” Kilo murmurs, rising. The guest’s wound has closed over completely, forming a pale, circular scar in his shoulder. “I’m so sick of hearing you people talk out of your ass at me. All this shit about God and fate and higher beings…” SATURN BARZ takes a bow-legged stance and raises its hands over its head as its master continues “All that I could take, but worse! You all keep tryin’ to tell me that I’m the same as you. I don’t want to be mentioned in the breath as you fucking losers!!!”

SATURN BARZ claps its hand together and steam explodes out from between them. This builds into a thick fog that covers everything in a damp smokescreen.

“Really?” Toto says, unimpressed. He saunters through the smokescreen, his head bobbing up and down as he steps on bodies without a care.

[overdorklord]

Interview to mun. thoughts about TFA

[Ough... you wanna make people come hate me? You cruel anon... Okay let’s begin with the bloodbath.

TFA. I loved it when I was a kid, despite never having watched the last season. I never saw it ending, but despite that... I liked it! I’m Italian, so imagine I had to stop watching it because since it was a terrible flop here, nobody bought the third season. I had to wait YEARS to become adult enough to go on internet, find out there was a third season, and find a way to watch it. But really guys, in Italy Transformers fandom is for losers. Yet, I loved it. Even with the TERRIBLE voice acting. And I mean it, terrible, go listen to it on youtube if you find something, you’ll die of cringe even if you won’t understand a word. Despite all that mess, as a kid... after the first episodes, I came to appreciate it.

However- Even when I was little there were things I didn’t like.And now those things developed. Result: I really don’t like TFA so much. It’s... pains and joy. Really. Mostly because: If it is a sequel to the G1 stuff, why are characters so wrong?? Starscream’s the only one who stays a traitor who wants to take control... but the rest ugh. They all change. They’re all different people. And maybe they are. Ok, but why give the same name and same look then?? As a kid I was very... confused. Very  very confused. I used to watch G1 and I expected to find those characters i loved, I did but they were all different. 

Consider that in Italy, G1 characters had translated names. For example Optimus was called... Commander- -sweats sweats- y-yeah. Commander. Uhm, while Jazz was called Tigre. (which means Tiger in italian.) well- So imagine, see a kid who knew Optimus as a cool leader, very loving and very wise however even if he could be so sweet and funny with his team... who was called Commander, being turned into... someone tiny, young called Optimus, not Commander. Who was.. a mess- he was still learning and all, and then I find out becoming a prime is like.. a promotion??? Heck! when i was a kid, becoming a Prime meant something! There was a lot of confusion. 

I just don’t understand what TFA wants me to believe. Why is Optimus at the very first episode watching G1 recordings? Ratchet says they’re old recordings. Now... I thought he was watching real war recordings. Apparently... noo?? They are cartoons, Optimus is watching cartoons. And... Prowl is a ninja-No really guys.

Uhm. I loved G1. I LOVED it when i was ... 5-6 basically. And I see thins changing such as: Prowl from a Cop who was called Pantera ( Panther. yes.. uhm, yes.) becomes a Ninja called Prowl... of completely wrong color, but he’s also a cop, but a motorbike... While Jazz from cool, kick ass beautiful mech becomes a ... I don’t know... A cretin who’s afraid of humans somehow... Seriously! It was a mess for a kid to understand what the heck was happening... why characters changed name, changed form, changed personality like that. Uncanny valley it’s called I guess? this weird feeling of seeing something that you think should be familiar but then you see this something else that just “no”.

  I know you all love TFA but i really really dislike it. Despite it being very dark and having quite scary things, I think it’s... bad. Even the style isn’t so great. I... I’ll get hate I know i’ll get hate. But try to realize I grew loving G1 Style... the movie, guys the movie. I loved it... and TFA, despite having many things very dark and scary- Often gave me the feeling they had no idea what the fuck they were doing.

Just the fact war was over and everyone panicking about Megatron felt stupid to me. Megatron has been ... broken and useless for most of the time, Blitzwing was a mentally unstable idiot and Lugnut was stupid. Starscream... was wasting time somewhere else. Blackarachnia is one of the dangerous Decepticons, Soundwave was a TOY, fucking TOY. I refuse. And yet okay he could be a little dangerous for like... two times. Like Blackarachnia, she was dangerous for two times. Then Waspinator was dangerous for... one time. Really... Let’s not count the Clones because they were idiots sent against Megatron, not the Autobots. Lockdown was the only big threat along with shockwave, damn it. So i never really understand what was going on. Let’s count the threats here. 

Lockdown, Blitzwing, Lugnut, Starscream, Blacharachnia, Soundwave, Waspinator, Shockwave, Megatron (when he wakes up at least.) So... Uhm. Cybertron was full of Autobots. Why. Why... WHY nobody sent a team of soldiers to get rid of 9 people. Shockwave was a spy, so only 8, ok? Only 8, plus Soundwave and Waspinator weren’t even connected to everyone else. Lugnut and Blitzwing were together most of the time, lonely with no damn help.  Get rid of 2 fucking Decepticons damn it! Yes yes there’s also Swindle. Swindle minds his own most of the time. 

It felt like Ultra Maguns was an imbecile. Because they didn’t care about the Earth? Because they thought Optimus and his team could stop them? Apparently not, you idiot. Send some proper people. Get rid of Lugnut and Blitzwing first, then go catch Blackarachnia, then go find starscream, then go get the rest! They weren’t even working together! Decepticons in this cartoon are so stupid, they fight each other and Autobots waste time playing or making Sari have fun, how much i hated Sari too, you’ve no idea. Always in the way-So... it was very confusing. I understood why nobody  caught Shockwave, he was hidden. But for the others?? Please. 

I feel like this cartoon wanted to be serious, darker than normal.. but eh. It had an attack of idiocy every now and then. I can’t take it so seriously! Some things like Elita-1 having been abandoned, was something so sad it was completely out of place. So many weird situations where a whole PLANET of Autobots couldn’t catch two Decepticons, one stupid and the other with mental problems, and then it wants to be taken all seriously? But are we joking??Okay I vented. I’m done.

If I am missing something instead, You could contact me,  explain to me how i might see something wrong, we can talk. Instead of killing me, we could talk.]

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Pioneer of the Plot Twist: Ranking M. Night Shyamalan’s 10 Best Films On His Birthday

Surprise! Happy Birthday, M. Night Shyamalan

Here at Nightmare on Film Street, we love to celebrate the most influential creators in the world of genre film. Today is no different as we celebrate the birth of one of the most innovative, and polarizing, directors in modern cinema: M. Night Shyamalan.

Born August 6th 1970, Shyamalan burst on to the scene in 1999 with the success of his third film, the supernatural mystery The Sixth Sense. The film was both a critical and commercial success, earning 6 Oscar nominations and a whopping $672 million at the box office. The Sixth Sense also changed the landscape of genre cinema with it’s mind-scrambling twist. A surprise ending that would eventually become Shyamalan’s signature style. Over the years, Shyamalan’s name has even become a pop culture reference, used as a verb when a movie or life reveals a perspective altering twist. Example: “My best friend is actually my reincarnated Iguana from 4th grade, I just got Shyamalaned!

But M. Night Shyamalan’s career isn’t based solely off twists. The writer/director’s filmography is substantially unique, combining his inventive story premises with a myriad of different film genres from pseudo-superhero to found footage. It would also be an understatement to say M. Night’s career has been unpredictable. Two films on his resumé are often regarded the best in their respective genres, while others have been called “the worst movie of all time”. So as we celebrate M. Night Shyamalan’s birthday, let’s break it down by ranking his filmography! NOTE: I’m not including his first two films since they are so small and not really genre-driven. Also watch out for spoilers, duh. It’s a Shyamalan list.

  10. The Last Airbender (2010)

      Oof, this thing is bad. I’d say not by coincidence, Shyamalan’s only non-original property ends up at the bottom of the list. Some will say because of the white-washing, some will say the wonky 3D effects, but I say it boils down to not following the source material. Shyamalan claimed to be a big fan of the show, but character and plot inconsistencies in the film seem to say otherwise. Don’t agree? That’s absolutely fine. Let us here all about it in the comments below!

    9. After Earth (2013)

    Ironically, the word on the street is that Will Smith convinced Shyamalan to do this movie when texting him on his birthday. BE ON ALERT TODAY SHYAMALAN! After Earth is a particular low point because after this, the world was wondering if M. Night had anything left in him. He had a string of underwhelming films leading up to this one and After Earth is the equivalent of a very long sigh. There is just no energy or life in this film, with a twist that doesn’t help since he pretty much recycled it from The Village. BUT! A twist none the less. And who doesn’t like a 3rd act twist??

    8. Lady in the Water (2006)

    It’s hard to defend a movie involving a “Narf” named Story looking for The Author while trying to get home and avoid being killed by a Scrunt (yes, that is indeed the real plot), but I give this movie a little more slack than others. Some call it Shyamalan’s most pretentious and self-indulgent film, I call it ambition. Which is always respectable, even if it doesn’t fully execute because at least he was definitely trying to tell an interesting story. Also, Paul Giamatti was pretty solid as usual.

    7. The Happening (2008)

    The Happening isn’t exactly what one would call a “good movie”, however: it’s a very fun movie. Sporting a low 14% score on Rotten Tomatoes, the only critics that seemed to enjoy this film viewed it as a B-Film, almost a “so bad it’s good” movie. So if you think of it that way and buy into the idea of Mark Wahlberg as a scientist trying to survive killer plants, you can easily have a great time watching this movie. Invite some friends and crack open a few beers for optimal viewing!

    6. Signs (2002)

    At the time of release, Signs was pretty well received. Lately, it’s been the subject of debate to whether it hold up or not, specifically the “twist”. But all in all, Signs is a pretty good movie. I loved the idea of telling a family drama with the added element of aliens. The film is also a masterclass in suspense, with multiple scenes that keep you on the edge of your seat. The scene showing the birthday party footage of the alien still gives me chills just thinking about it.

    5. The Village (2004)

    I guess this is my controversial ranking for this list. When people complain about The Village, it’s literally only criticism of the twist. The whole time we are invested in the monsters surrounding the woods, it turned out to be The Elders doing it to convince the villagers to stay in and not discover we were in present times the whole time. To me, that’s terrifying in itself and I also commend Shyamalan on convincing the audience we were watching a period piece. The film also features a fantastic score, fun creature designs (even if they were fake), and a supremely eerie trailer.

    4. The Visit (2015)

    May be a bit high for this one, but seeing this in theaters was an absolute blast. Not sure if it was from the low expectations I had going in or the effective use of found footage, but The Visit is just good ol’ creepy fun. We saw M. Night go back to his roots, where he had to get inventive to overcome the small budget. Some theories even speculate that the film was satire of himself and his career to an extent. Loved the premise and the movie is filled with genuinely unsettling moments, including one involving an old person diaper. The Visit was a return to form for Shyamalan, even easing up on his usual twist ending (it’s not even a twist, really).

    3. The Sixth Sense (1999)

    Probably gonna get some flack for the placement of (debatably) Shyamalan’s best film, but I still appreciate The Sixth Sense immensely. This movie not only blasted off M. Night’s career, it would be the one to make his name synonymous with plot twists. And though it’s almost become a meme, it can’t be understated how monumental this movie was to cinema in the way he pulled off the twist. Only reason it’s at #3 is because past the second or third viewing, you’re not nearly as invested in the film because the twist really did change the scope of the entire film (In my opinion). The Sixth Sense is still fantastic th

ough, held together by a tight script and Oscar-nominated performances from Haley Joel Osment and Toni Collette.

    2. Unbreakable (2000)

    Another film that could be argued as his best, especially for reasons I’ll get to in a second, Unbreakable is one of the most unique of all his films. Coming out the same year as X-Men and 8 years before Iron Man really kicked off the superhero craze, Shyamalan broke into the comic book movie genre with one of his own. Even more fascinating, was disguising it and grounding it in reality. It’s not even til the final 15 minutes that you discover what you’re actually watching. Unbreakable creates an interesting world, with top notch performances from Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson, respectively. Shyamalan tapped into what it really means to be a hero and overcoming adversity, something he would have to do himself many years later. Luckily, Shymalan would do just that when he eventually returned to this world…

    1. Split (2017)

      Are you shocked to see this movie at #1? Just like you were surprised at the end of Split to find out it was a secret sequel to Unbreakable? Probably so! Not the fan favorite for the top spot, but it’s definitely the film that got you back on board with Shyamalan if The Visit didn’t do so already. Even before the twist, I already loved everything about Split. Anchored by a powerhouse performance by James McAvoy, the movie is intense thriller filled to the brim with tension.

The premise behind getting kidnapped by someone with 23 personalities was already horrifying, but then what the hell is The Beast!? Split keeps you guessing the entire film until you figure out what’s going on, but then the reveal just takes it to entirely new level. On top of that, this movie probably has the best production of any of his previous films. The dread-filled score and cinematography complimented Shyamalan’s story nicely. Top to bottom, a great piece of horror. I remember feeling so proud that after years of defending him, M. Night Shyamalan was officially back and created a cinematic universe right under our noses. But it’s still not his best contribution to cinema…

  What!? This isn’t the end of the list!!!

  In 1999, the same year Shyamalan was soaring to new heights with the success of The Sixth Sense, M. Night was secretly working on another project that would go on to shape a generation…Stuart Little. Before he was a household name, Shyamalan served as a ghostwriter on a few projects in the late 90s. Yes, that’s right, M. Night Shyamalan co-wrote the movie that would spawn 2 sequels, an animated series, and the career of Jonathan Lipnicki. Sure he wasn’t around around for any later installments, but Shyamalan’s contributions laid the foundation to the franchise that would momentarily steal the hearts of America. This was an achievement for Shyamalan, being a ghost and writing a successful family film. It not only broke the stigma around ghostwriters, but reanimated Shyamalan back to life so he could have a successful directing career. Which, if you think about it, makes M. Night Shyamalan a zombie. Boom, you’ve just been Shyamalaned!

    There you have it people, my ranking of M. Night Shyamalan’s films. I can’t wait so see where Glass ends up on here. But enough about my list, what about you? How do you rank his filmography? Does the fact that he’s a zombie change your list? Tell us living un-dead folks here at Nightmare on Film Street your rankings on Twitter or our super cool Facebook group!

    The post Pioneer of the Plot Twist: Ranking M. Night Shyamalan’s 10 Best Films On His Birthday appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[whereisthefood123]

A dragon’s treasure

Prompt: Metalicana interacting with the twins by @ninja-status

Word count: 2k

Summary: Metalicana is asked to babysit the twins. It'll be a piece of cake, right? RIGHT?! Modern-AU; Human!Metalicana.

FFnet

After three knocks to the door, only one thought crossed his mind unrelentlessly.

How had he agreed to this?

The door swung open and he looked down to be met with two hazel eyes and a bright smile.

Oh, right. It's all the brat's fault.

"Welcome, Metalicana," Levy greeted him in her singsong voice and he sighed in defeat.

"Where are they?" His gruff voice and dark appearance could have scared the bravest warrior but did nothing to her. Instead, she smiled again and stepped aside to let him come inside the house.

Yeap, it's the brat's fault for falling for the ballsiest and cutest woman in the whole world. Don't get him wrong; he loves his daughter-in-law, she seemed to be the only one able to keep his son in line and she was the main reason the brat cut his connections with the dark businesses he got involved in when he was young.

Still, it didn't explain why Metalicana had to bear with the consequences of his son's choices.

"They are in the living room watching a movie. Come on in." She closed the door once he stepped inside and he couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the fruity and floral scent that wafted through each corner of the house.

"Hey Pops," Gajeel greeted his father when he came into view and- wait, did he just smiled at him?! Was Gajeel actually happy to see his old man?!

"Brat," he greeted back and couldn't keep the faint smile off his face at seeing his son so damn happy. Yeah, this tiny blue haired woman was changing Gajeel's life and Metalicana hoped it would be for the better.

"Hey Lev, could ya help me with the tie?"

"Sure, honey." Gajeel leaned down for her to be able to reach for his tie without going up on her tiptoes. With a quick motion, Levy finished her task and patted him affectionately on the chest. "All done."

He thanked her and kissed the top of her head which earned him a cute giggle from the woman.

"Ugh, get a room ya two." Metalicana rolled his eyes and crossed his arms feigning irritation at the scene.

"What? Ya want a kiss too old man?"

"Yeah, in my ass," he shot back and both males grinned at each other.

"Now now, be nice the two of you," Levy chided but before Metalicana could argued back a new voice interrupted them.

"Grampa?" Yajeh stood at the other end of the entrance hall eyeing the older man curiously.

"Come here, sweetie." The five-year-old boy did as his mother told him and ran into her arms happily. She lifted him up with ease and embraced the child with motherly love. "Is the movie over?"

"Yeah, it was great! Can we look for our dragons next time we go camping?" His eyes shone with excitement at the mere idea of riding his own Nightfury.

"Sure thing, champ." Gajeel chuckled and ruffled his son's hair.

"We'll need lots of fishes! And no eels!" Shutora added as she stepped closer to the adults. She eyed her brother with shyness and something akin to jealousy. She also wanted to be hugged but she was too proud to admit it.

As if reading her mind, Gajeel swiftly lifted her up and sat her on his shoulder. She laughed and hugged her daddy's head to not fall off. Metalicana just rolled his eyes one more time at the family's antiques; that many shows of affection were too much for him to bear.

"Why is Grampa here?" Shutora questioned noticing for the first time the older man in the room.

"He is staying with ya for a couple of hours," Gajeel said as he gently put his daughter down.

"Really?" Yajeh looked up at his grandfather with his bright red eyes.

"Yes. Daddy and I are going out for a couple of hours so Grampa will be looking after you until we come back," Levy explained as she kissed her son in the cheek and put him down. "So you better behave, alright?"

Now, both kids looked up at Metalicana with wide eyes and unreadable expressions. He started to feel uncomfortable under their innocent and intense gaze. Surely they might have prefered to be babysat by Blondie or by Igneel's brat but according to Levy they were unavailable for the night. So now, the twins were stuck with him and they were probably going to throw a tantrum about them not wanting to spend time with their grandfather.

"Awesome!"

What?!

The simultaneous squeal startled him and his surprise increased even more when the twins ran up to him and clung to his legs like a lifeline giggling all along. His face showed his shock and both Gajeel and Levy laughed before heading for the door.

"Thank you for this Metalicana. We'll be back in a couple of hours. You have our numbers in case you need anything." Levy patted Metalicana's forearm in gratitude and sent him one of her charming smiles. Damn woman, that's how she trapped his son.

"See ya later kids. Play nice with Grampa." Gajeel took his time to ruffle his children's hair and they nodded in agreement still clinging to Metalicana's pants.

"Oh! And Pops, make sure they're in bed by 9."

"See ya!" Levy waved from the door and soon after Gajeel closed it behind him, leaving Metalicana alone with his grandkids. He waved goodbye absentmindedly, still in shock about the reaction from the twins.

He looked down at the pipsqueaks and they grinned at him the same way his son used to do it when he was little. Metalicana grinned back at them.

Maybe this wasn't such a terrible idea.

Nope. Definitely this was a huge mistake!

Metalicana was panicking at hearing Yajeh wailing like there was no tomorrow while Shutora sat on his shoulders demanding angrily a piggy ride.

"Why are ya crying?! Ough!" He winced when Shutora tugged quite forcibly at his grey hair. He was doing his best trying to comfort the boy but he had no idea why he suddenly started to cry! He was just running around the living room a minute ago laughing hysterically at something Metalicana had no understanding of, but just as quickly he sat on the ground and began to cry!

"I-I'm *hiccup* I'm HUNGRY!" Yajeh said between loud sobs before screaming to the top of his little lungs.

"Me too!" Another tug on his hair reminded him of the girl on his shoulders. "We. Want. Food!" Each word was emphasized by a tug and Metalicana felt his blood boiling in anger.

Right, food…

He completely forgot that he was supposed to make them dinner. Well, who could blame him? It had been so long since he'd had to take care of a kid and Gajeel was never a dependent brat; he actually was quite resourceful since young age.

"Alright, then." He placed Shutora down and Yajeh looked up at him in expectation muffling down his sobs. "Let's see what we have here fer dinner." He made his way to the kitchen and the twins followed him closely in complete silence.

Metalicana rummaged through the refrigerator and the cupboard looking for something to eat. There were some leftovers of tomato soup and grilled chicken, and enough ingredients to cook hot dogs, but this didn't satisfied Metalicana.

"What do ya usually eat fer dinner?" He looked down at them and Yajeh tapped his chin in the same way his mother does.

"When Daddy is not here, Mommy usually orders take-out. But when Daddy is here, he cooks grilled cheese or spaghetti." He beamed at his grandfather triumphantly at answering his question.

"Hmm cheese!" Shutora licked her lips at remembering how much she enjoys eating cheese.

"Are ya serious?" Metalicana stared at them as if they were making fun of him. The twins nodded simultaneously, confirming they were telling the truth. "Take-out? Grilled cheese?" He mumbled under his breath in annoyance before he took out some ingredients from the fridge as well as some from the cupboard.

"Then I'm gonna cook ya some real food," he stated proudly before placing the ingredients on the table. The twins climbed on two chairs to have a better look at what Metalicana was about to do.

"What are you cooking Grampa?" Shutora questioned him as Yajeh strained his neck to have a better look at the ingredients spread all over the table.

"We are making pizza." He grinned as excitement crossed the kids' faces and they squealed in happiness.

It looks like this babysitting thing is easier than it looks like.

Okay, not easy. At. All!

Metalicana scratched his head in confusion, tangling his fingers in his wild grey locks. Groans escaped the twins' mouths as they lied down on the couch rubbing their stomachs.

"My tummy hurts…" Yajeh's eyes filled with unshed tears as he patted his abdomen in an attempt to ease his pain. Obviously it didn't help at all.

"Why did ya eat all the pizza?" He crossed his arms over his chest but his gaze showed the concern he felt for the wellbeing of the brats.

"Because it was so yummy!" Shutora exclaimed. And then she barfed. Loudly. And then she curled herself on her side hugging her stomach carefully.

Metalicana face palmed and let his hand slide down his face in hopelessness. That's when he noticed the time on his wrist watch.

"Oi, get up. It's time to go to bed." Reluctantly, the twins stood up and he ushered them into their shared room.

He helped them getting dressed and made sure they washed their teeth before climbing into bed.

"Alright squirts, time to sleep." He walked to the bedroom door but was stopped when a tiny hand wrapped itself around his wrist.

"Wait, what about the goodnight story?" Shutora stared at him with her big hazel eyes and he immediately knew she was going to be as good as her mother in using the most deadly weapon there has ever existed: the puppy eyes.

"Story? Are ya kidding me?"

"Nuh-uh. Mommy reads to us every night." The young boy crossed his arms over his tiny little chest to show the seriousness in their demand for a goodnight story.

"Ah, cra-aaaah, great! Just great…" Metalicana grimaced and he grabbed a book from the nightstand before sitting down on Shutora's bed. She scooted over to make room for the large man and Yajeh didn't hesitate for a second to leave his bed and join Shutora and Metalicana on his sister's bed.

Now, with both kids on either side of him Metalicana sighed in defeat and opened the fairy tales' book. As he read out loud, he noticed a wide variety of emotions crossed the twins' faces. Blessed the gods above for them to be as expressive as their mother; it helped him know what they liked when he was reading and what they didn't and he took notes on this.

An hour later, Levy and Gajeel entered their home to notice it was deadly quiet. She quickly walked to the twins' bedroom and stood frozen on the doorway at the scene inside. Trying hard to stifle her laugh, she called for Gajeel quietly and he joined her almost immediately, madly grinning at the sight.

There, in Shutora's bed, Metalicana laid down fast asleep with a book on his lap. One kid slept to either side of him, cuddled closer to their grandfather with their heads resting on his rising chest and with a cute smile etched on their faces. Metalicana's arms held his grandkids protectively like a fierce dragon would protect its treasure.

Because that's what this family meant for him.

Gajeel looked down at his wife just in time to see her taking a bunch of pictures with her phone. She grinned at him when she noticed he caught her red handed.

"For the Christmas card." She showed him the picture and he matched her grin.

"I'm pretty sure it'll be his favorite."

A/N Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it :) there will be more stories to come as I have more requests to work on. See ya soon!

(Requests are still open!)

WTF (Where's The Food?)

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’) 

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy 

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer 

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family 

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird 

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’) 

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?) 

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch 

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao 

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty 

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists 

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it 

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :( 

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense 

did anything else happen on the airship. ider 

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH. 

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend 

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory 

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about 

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood 

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red 

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section 

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof. 

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god 

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao 

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN???? 

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him 

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen! 

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’) 

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit 

PREDICTIONS: 

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’ 

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof 

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho 

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on 

[readbookywooks]

A Hymn and a Secret

IT was quite late (days are short in November) when Alyosha rang at the prison gate. It was beginning to get dusk. But Alyosha knew that he would be admitted without difficulty. Things were managed in our little town, as everywhere else. At first, of course, on the conclusion of the preliminary inquiry, relations and a few other persons could only obtain interviews with Mitya by going through certain inevitable formalities. But later, though the formalities were not relaxed, exceptions were made for some, at least, of Mitya's visitors. So much so, that sometimes the interviews with the prisoner in the room set aside for the purpose were practically tete-a-tete. These exceptions, however, were few in number; only Grushenka, Alyosha and Rakitin were treated like this. But the captain of the police, Mihail Mihailovitch, was very favourably disposed to Grushenka. His abuse of her at Mokroe weighed on the old man's conscience, and when he learned the whole story, he completely changed his view of her. And strange to say, though he was firmly persuaded of his guilt, yet after Mitya was once in prison, the old man came to take a more and more lenient view of him. "He was a man of good heart, perhaps," he thought, "who had come to grief from drinking and dissipation." His first horror had been succeeded by pity. As for Alyosha, the police captain was very fond of him and had known him for a long time. Rakitin, who had of late taken to coming very often to see the prisoner, was one of the most intimate acquaintances of the "police captain's young ladies," as he called them, and was always hanging about their house. He gave lessons in the house of the prison superintendent, too, who, though scrupulous in the performance of his duties, was a kindhearted old man. Alyosha, again, had an intimate acquaintance of long standing with the superintendent, who was fond of talking to him, generally on sacred subjects. He respected Ivan Fyodorovitch, and stood in awe of his opinion, though he was a great philosopher himself; "self-taught," of course. But Alyosha had an irresistible attraction for him. During the last year the old man had taken to studying the Apocryphal Gospels, and constantly talked over his impressions with his young friend. He used to come and see him in the monastery and discussed for hours together with him and with the monks. So even if Alyosha were late at the prison, he had only to go to the superintendent and everything was made easy. Besides, everyone in the prison, down to the humblest warder, had grown used to Alyosha. The sentry, of course, did not trouble him so long as the authorities were satisfied. When Mitya was summoned from his cell, he always went downstairs, to the place set aside for interviews. As Alyosha entered the room he came upon Rakitin, who was just taking leave of Mitya. They were both talking loudly. Mitya was laughing heartily as he saw him out, while Rakitin seemed grumbling. Rakitin did not like meeting Alyosha, especially of late. He scarcely spoke to him, and bowed to him stiffly. Seeing Alyosha enter now, he frowned and looked away, as though he were entirely absorbed in buttoning his big, warm, fur-trimmed overcoat. Then he began looking at once for his umbrella. "I must mind not to forget my belongings," he muttered, simply to say something. "Mind you don't forget other people's belongings," said Mitya, as a joke, and laughed at once at his own wit. Rakitin fired up instantly. "You'd better give that advice to your own family, who've always been a slave-driving lot, and not to Rakitin," he cried, suddenly trembling with anger. "What's the matter? I was joking," cried Mitya. "Damn it all! They are all like that." He turned to Alyosha, nodding towards Rakitin's hurriedly retreating figure. "He was sitting here, laughing and cheerful, and all at once he boils up like that. He didn't even nod to you. Have you broken with him completely? Why are you so late? I've not been simply waiting, but thirsting for you the whole morning. But never mind. We'll make up for it now." "Why does he come here so often? Surely you are not such great friends?" asked Alyosha. He, too, nodded at the door through which Rakitin had disappeared. "Great friends with Rakitin? No, not as much as that. Is it likely - a pig like that? He considers I am... a blackguard. They can't understand a joke either, that's the worst of such people. They never understand a joke, and their souls are dry, dry and flat; they remind me of prison walls when I was first brought here. But he is a clever fellow, very clever. Well, Alexey, it's all over with me now." He sat down on the bench and made Alyosha sit down beside him. "Yes, the trial's to-morrow. Are you so hopeless, brother?" Alyosha said, with an apprehensive feeling. "What are you talking about?" said Mitya, looking at him rather uncertainly. "Oh, you mean the trial! Damn it all! Till now we've been talking of things that don't matter, about this trial, but I haven't said a word to you about the chief thing. Yes, the trial is to-morrow; but it wasn't the trial I meant, when I said it was all over with me. Why do you look at me so critically?" "What do you mean, Mitya?" "Ideas, ideas, that's all! Ethics! What is ethics?" "Ethics?" asked Alyosha, wondering. "Yes; is it a science?" "Yes, there is such a science... but... I confess I can't explain to you what sort of science it is." "Rakitin knows. Rakitin knows a lot, damn him! He's not going to be a monk. He means to go to Petersburg. There he'll go in for criticism of an elevating tendency. Who knows, he may be of use and make his own career, too. Ough! they are first-rate, these people, at making a career! Damn ethics, I am done for, Alexey, I am, you man of God! I love you more than anyone. It makes my heart yearn to look at you. Who was Karl Bernard?" "Karl Bernard?" Alyosha was surprised again. "No, not Karl. Stay, I made a mistake. Claude Bernard. What was he? Chemist or what?" "He must be a savant," answered Alyosha; "but I confess I can't tell you much about him, either. I've heard of him as a savant, but what sort I don't know." "Well, damn him, then! I don't know either," swore Mitya. "A scoundrel of some sort, most likely. They are all scoundrels. And Rakitin will make his way. Rakitin will get on anywhere; he is another Bernard. Ugh, these Bernards! They are all over the place." "But what is the matter?" Alyosha asked insistently. "He wants to write an article about me, about my case, and so begin his literary career. That's what he comes for; he said so himself. He wants to prove some theory. He wants to say 'he couldn't help murdering his father, he was corrupted by his environment,' and so on. He explained it all to me. He is going to put in a tinge of Socialism, he says. But there, damn the fellow, he can put in a tinge if he likes, I don't care. He can't bear Ivan, he hates him. He's not fond of you, either. But I don't turn him out, for he is a clever fellow. Awfully conceited, though. I said to him just now,' The Karamazovs are not blackguards, but philosophers; for all true Russians are philosophers, and though you've studied, you are not a philosopher - you are a low fellow.' He laughed, so maliciously. And I said to him, 'De ideabus non est disputandum.'* Isn't that rather good? I can set up for being a classic, you see!" Mitya laughed suddenly. * There's no disputing ideas. "Why is it all over with you? You said so just now," Alyosha interposed. "Why is it all over with me? H'm!... The fact of it is... if you take it as a whole, I am sorry to lose God - that's why it is." "What do you mean by 'sorry to lose God'?" "Imagine: inside, in the nerves, in the head - that is, these nerves are there in the brain... (damn them!) there are sort of little tails, the little tails of those nerves, and as soon as they begin quivering... that is, you see, I look at something with my eyes and then they begin quivering, those little tails... and when they quiver, then an image appears... it doesn't appear at once, but an instant, a second, passes... and then something like a moment appears; that is, not a moment - devil take the moment! - but an image; that is, an object, or an action, damn it! That's why I see and then think, because of those tails, not at all because I've got a soul, and that I am some sort of image and likeness. All that is nonsense! Rakitin explained it all to me yesterday, brother, and it simply bowled me over. It's magnificent, Alyosha, this science! A new man's arising- that I understand.... And yet I am sorry to lose God!" "Well, that's a good thing, anyway," said Alyosha. "That I am sorry to lose God? It's chemistry, brother, chemistry! There's no help for it, your reverence, you must make way for chemistry. And Rakitin does dislike God. Ough! doesn't he dislike Him! That's the sore point with all of them. But they conceal it. They tell lies. They pretend. 'Will you preach this in your reviews?' I asked him. 'Oh, well, if I did it openly, they won't let it through, 'he said. He laughed. 'But what will become of men then?' I asked him, 'without God and immortal life? All things are lawful then, they can do what they like?' 'Didn't you know?' he said laughing, 'a clever man can do what he likes,' he said. 'A clever man knows his way about, but you've put your foot in it, committing a murder, and now you are rotting in prison.' He says that to my face! A regular pig! I used to kick such people out, but now I listen to them. He talks a lot of sense, too. Writes well. He began reading me an article last week. I copied out three lines of it. Wait a minute. Here it is." Mitya hurriedly pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and read: "'In order to determine this question, it is above all essential to put one's personality in contradiction to one's reality.' Do you understand that?" "No, I don't," said Alyosha. He looked at Mitya and listened to him with curiosity. "I don't understand either. It's dark and obscure, but intellectual. 'Everyone writes like that now,' he says, 'it's the effect of their environment.' They are afraid of the environment. He writes poetry, too, the rascal. He's written in honour of Madame Hohlakov's foot. Ha ha ha!" "I've heard about it," said Alyosha. "Have you? And have you heard the poem?" "No." "I've got it. Here it is. I'll read it to you. You don't know - I haven't told you - there's quite a story about it. He's a rascal! Three weeks ago he began to tease me. 'You've got yourself into a mess, like a fool, for the sake of three thousand, but I'm going to collar a hundred and fifty thousand. I am going to marry a widow and buy a house in Petersburg.' And he told me he was courting Madame Hohlakov. She hadn't much brains in her youth, and now at forty she has lost what she had. 'But she's awfully sentimental,' he says; 'that's how I shall get hold of her. When I marry her, I shall take her to Petersburg and there I shall start a newspaper.' And his mouth was simply watering, the beast, not for the widow, but for the hundred and fifty thousand. And he made me believe it. He came to see me every day. 'She is coming round,' he declared. He was beaming with delight. And then, all of a sudden, he was turned out of the house. Perhotin's carrying everything before him, bravo! I could kiss the silly old noodle for turning him out of the house. And he had written this doggerel. 'It's the first time I've soiled my hands with writing poetry,' he said. 'It's to win her heart, so it's in a good cause. When I get hold of the silly woman's fortune, I can be of great social utility.' They have this social justification for every nasty thing they do! 'Anyway it's better than your Pushkin's poetry,' he said, 'for I've managed to advocate enlightenment even in that.' I understand what he means about Pushkin, I quite see that, if he really was a man of talent and only wrote about women's feet. But wasn't Rakitin stuck up about his doggerel! The vanity of these fellows! 'On the convalescence of the swollen foot of the object of my affections' - he thought of that for a title. He's a waggish fellow. A captivating little foot, Though swollen and red and tender! The doctors come and plasters put, But still they cannot mend her. Yet, 'tis not for her foot I dread- A theme for Pushkin's muse more fit- It's not her foot, it is her head: I tremble for her loss of wit! For as her foot swells, strange to say, Her intellect is on the wane- Oh, for some remedy I pray That may restore both foot and brain! He is a pig, a regular pig, but he's very arch, the rascal! And he really has put in a progressive idea. And wasn't he angry when she kicked him out! He was gnashing his teeth!" "He's taken his revenge already," said Alyosha. "He's written a paragraph about Madame Hohlakov." And Alyosha told him briefly about the paragraph in Gossip. "That's his doing, that's his doing!" Mitya assented, frowning. "That's him! These paragraphs... I know... the insulting things that have been written about Grushenka, for instance.... And about Katya, too.... H'm! He walked across the room with a harassed air. "Brother, I cannot stay long," Alyosha said, after a pause. "To-morrow will be a great and awful day for you, the judgment of God will be accomplished... I am amazed at you, you walk about here, talking of I don't know what..." "No, don't be amazed at me," Mitya broke in warmly. "Am I to talk of that stinking dog? Of the murderer? We've talked enough of him. I don't want to say more of the stinking son of Stinking Lizaveta! God will kill him, you will see. Hush!" He went up to Alyosha excitedly and kissed him. His eyes glowed. "Rakitin wouldn't understand it," he began in a sort of exaltation; "but you, you'll understand it all. That's why I was thirsting for you. You see, there's so much I've been wanting to tell you for ever so long, here, within these peeling walls, but I haven't said a word about what matters most; the moment never seems to have come. Now I can wait no longer. I must pour out my heart to you. Brother, these last two months I've found in myself a new man. A new man has risen up in me. He was hidden in me, but would never have come to the surface, if it hadn't been for this blow from heaven. I am afraid! And what do I care if I spend twenty years in the mines, breaking ore with a hammer? I am not a bit afraid of that - it's something else I am afraid of now: that that new man may leave me. Even there, in the mines, underground, I may find a human heart in another convict and murderer by my side, and I may make friends with him, for even there one may live and love and suffer. One may thaw and revive a frozen heart in that convict, one may wait upon him for years, and at last bring up from the dark depths a lofty soul, a feeling, suffering creature; one may bring forth an angel, create a hero! There are so many of them, hundreds of them, and we are all to blame for them. Why was it I dreamed of that 'babe' at such a moment? 'Why is the babe so poor?' That was a sign to me at that moment. It's for the babe I'm going. Because we are all responsible for all. For all the 'babes,' for there are big children as well as little children All are 'babes.' I go for all, because someone must go for all. I didn't kill father, but I've got to go. I accept it. It's all come to me here, here, within these peeling walls. There are numbers of them there, hundreds of them underground, with hammers in their hands. Oh, yes, we shall be in chains and there will be no freedom, but then, in our great sorrow, we shall rise again to joy, without which man cannot live nor God exist, for God gives joy: it's His privilege - a grand one. Ah, man should be dissolved in prayer! What should I be underground there without God? Rakitin's laughing! If they drive God from the earth, we shall shelter Him underground. One cannot exist in prison without God; it's even more impossible than out of prison. And then we men underground will sing from the bowels of the earth a glorious hymn to God, with Whom is joy. Hail to God and His joy! I love Him!" Mitya was almost gasping for breath as he uttered his wild speech. He turned pale, his lips quivered, and tears rolled down his cheeks. "Yes, life is full, there is life even underground," he began again. "You wouldn't believe, Alexey, how I want to live now, what a thirst for existence and consciousness has sprung up in me within these peeling walls. Rakitin doesn't understand that; all he cares about is building a house and letting flats. But I've been longing for you. And what is suffering? I am not afraid of it, even if it were beyond reckoning. I am not afraid of it now. I was afraid of it before. Do you know, perhaps I won't answer at the trial at all.... And I seem to have such strength in me now, that I think I could stand anything, any suffering, only to be able to say and to repeat to myself every moment, 'I exist.' In thousands of agonies - I exist. I'm tormented on the rack - but I exist! Though I sit alone on a pillar - I exist! I see the sun, and if I don't see the sun, I know it's there. And there's a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there. Alyosha, my angel, all these philosophies are the death of me. Damn them! Brother Ivan-" "What of brother Ivan?" interrupted Alyosha, but Mitya did not hear. "You see, I never had any of these doubts before, but it was all hidden away in me. It was perhaps just because ideas I did not understand were surging up in me, that I used to drink and fight and rage. It was to stifle them in myself, to still them, to smother them. Ivan is not Rakitin, there is an idea in him. Ivan is a sphinx and is silent; he is always silent. It's God that's worrying me. That's the only thing that's worrying me. What if He doesn't exist? What if Rakitin's right - that it's an idea made up by men? Then if He doesn't exist, man is the chief of the earth, of the universe. Magnificent! Only how is he going to be good without God? That's the question. I always come back to that. For whom is man going to love then? To whom will he be thankful? To whom will he sing the hymn? Rakitin laughs. Rakitin says that one can love humanity without God. Well, only a snivelling idiot can maintain that. I can't understand it. Life's easy for Rakitin. 'You'd better think about the extension of civic rights, or even of keeping down the price of meat. You will show your love for humanity more simply and directly by that, than by philosophy.' I answered him, 'Well, but you, without a God, are more likely to raise the price of meat, if it suits you, and make a rouble on every copeck.' He lost his temper. But after all, what is goodness? Answer me that, Alexey. Goodness is one thing with me and another with a Chinaman, so it's a relative thing. Or isn't it? Is it not relative? A treacherous question! You won't laugh if I tell you it's kept me awake two nights. I only wonder now how people can live and think nothing about it. Vanity! Ivan has no God. He has an idea. It's beyond me. But he is silent. I believe he is a Freemason. I asked him, but he is silent. I wanted to drink from the springs of his soul- he was silent. But once he did drop a word." "What did he say?" Alyosha took it up quickly. "I said to him, 'Then everything is lawful, if it is so?' He frowned. 'Fyodor Pavlovitch, our papa,' he said, 'was a pig, but his ideas were right enough.' That was what he dropped. That was all he said. That was going one better than Rakitin." "Yes," Alyosha assented bitterly. "When was he with you?" "Of that later; now I must speak of something else. I have said nothing about Ivan to you before. I put it off to the last. When my business here is over and the verdict has been given, then I'll tell you something. I'll tell you everything. We've something tremendous on hand.... And you shall be my judge in it. But don't begin about that now; be silent. You talk of to-morrow, of the trial; but, would you believe it, I know nothing about it." "Have you talked to the counsel?" "What's the use of the counsel? I told him all about it. He's a soft, city-bred rogue - a Bernard! But he doesn't believe me - not a bit of it. Only imagine, he believes I did it. I see it. 'In that case,' I asked him, 'why have you come to defend me?' Hang them all! They've got a doctor down, too, want to prove I'm mad. I won't have that! Katerina Ivanovna wants to do her 'duty' to the end, whatever the strain!" Mitya smiled bitterly. "The cat! Hard-hearted creature! She knows that I said of her at Mokroe that she was a woman of 'great wrath.' They repeated it. Yes, the facts against me have grown numerous as the sands of the sea. Grigory sticks to his point. Grigory's honest, but a fool. Many people are honest because they are fools: that's Rakitin's idea. Grigory's my enemy. And there are some people who are better as foes than friends. I mean Katerina Ivanovna. I am afraid, oh, I am afraid she will tell how she bowed to the ground after that four thousand. She'll pay it back to the last farthing. I don't want her sacrifice; they'll put me to shame at the trial. I wonder how I can stand it. Go to her, Alyosha, ask her not to speak of that in the court, can't you? But damn it all, it doesn't matter! I shall get through somehow. I don't pity her. It's her own doing. She deserves what she gets. I shall have my own story to tell, Alexey." He smiled bitterly again. "Only... only Grusha, Grusha! Good Lord! Why should she have such suffering to bear?" he exclaimed suddenly, with tears. "Grusha's killing me; the thought of her's killing me, killing me. She was with me just now..." "She told me she was very much grieved by you to-day." "I know. Confound my temper! It was jealousy. I was sorry, I kissed her as she was going. I didn't ask her forgiveness." "Why didn't you?" exclaimed Alyosha. Suddenly Mitya laughed almost mirthfully. "God preserve you, my dear boy, from ever asking forgiveness for a fault from a woman you love. From one you love especially, however greatly you may have been in fault. For a woman - devil only knows what to make of a woman! I know something about them, anyway. But try acknowledging you are in fault to a woman. Say, 'I am sorry, forgive me,' and a shower of reproaches will follow! Nothing will make her forgive you simply and directly, she'll humble you to the dust, bring forward things that have never happened, recall everything, forget nothing, add something of her own, and only then forgive you. And even the best, the best of them do it. She'll scrape up all the scrapings and load them on your head. They are ready to flay you alive, I tell you, every one of them, all these angels without whom we cannot live! I tell you plainly and openly, dear boy, every decent man ought to be under some woman's thumb. That's my conviction - not conviction, but feeling. A man ought to be magnanimous, and it's no disgrace to a man! No disgrace to a hero, not even a Caesar! But don't ever beg her pardon all the same for anything. Remember that rule given you by your brother Mitya, who's come to ruin through women. No, I'd better make it up to Grusha somehow, without begging pardon. I worship her, Alexey, worship her. Only she doesn't see it. No, she still thinks I don't love her enough. And she tortures me, tortures me with her love. The past was nothing! In the past it was only those infernal curves of hers that tortured me, but now I've taken all her soul into my soul and through her I've become a man myself. Will they marry us? If they don't, I shall die of jealousy. I imagine something every day.... What did she say to you about me?" Alyosha repeated all Grushenka had said to him that day. Mitya listened, made him repeat things, and seemed pleased. "Then she is not angry at my being jealous?" he exclaimed. "She is a regular woman! 'I've a fierce heart myself!' Ah, I love such fierce hearts, though I can't bear anyone's being jealous of me. I can't endure it. We shall fight. But I shall love her, I shall love her infinitely. Will they marry us? Do they let convicts marry? That's the question. And without her I can't exist..." Mitya walked frowning across the room. It was almost dark. He suddenly seemed terribly worried. "So there's a secret, she says, a secret? We have got up a plot against her, and Katya is mixed up in it, she thinks. No, my good Grushenka, that's not it. You are very wide of the mark, in your foolish feminine way. Alyosha, darling, well, here goes! I'll tell you our secret!" He looked round, went close up quickly to Alyosha, who was standing before him, and whispered to him with an air of mystery, though in reality no one could hear them: the old warder was dozing in the corner, and not a word could reach the ears of the soldiers on guard. "I will tell you all our secret," Mitya whispered hurriedly. "I meant to tell you later, for how could I decide on anything without you? You are everything to me. Though I say that Ivan is superior to us, you are my angel. It's your decision will decide it. Perhaps it's you that is superior and not Ivan. You see, it's a question of conscience, question of the higher conscience - the secret is so important that I can't settle it myself, and I've put it off till I could speak to you. But anyway it's too early to decide now, for we must wait for the verdict. As soon as the verdict is given, you shall decide my fate. Don't decide it now. I'll tell you now. You listen, but don't decide. Stand and keep quiet. I won't tell you everything. I'll only tell you the idea, without details, and you keep quiet. Not a question, not a movement. You agree? But, goodness, what shall I do with your eyes? I'm afraid your eyes will tell me your decision, even if you don't speak. Oo! I'm afraid! Alyosha, listen! Ivan suggests my escaping. I won't tell you the details: it's all been thought out: it can all be arranged. Hush, don't decide. I should go to America with Grusha. You know I can't live without Grusha! What if they won't let her follow me to Siberia? Do they let convicts get married? Ivan thinks not. And without Grusha what should I do there underground with a hammer? I should only smash my skull with the hammer! But, on the other hand, my conscience? I should have run away from suffering. A sign has come, I reject the sign. I have a way of salvation and I turn my back on it. Ivan says that in America, 'with the goodwill,' I can be of more use than underground. But what becomes of our hymn from underground? What's America? America is vanity again! And there's a lot of swindling in America, too, I expect. I should have run away from crucifixion! I tell you, you know, Alexey, because you are the only person who can understand this. There's no one else. It's folly, madness to others, all I've told you of the hymn. They'll say I'm out of my mind or a fool. I am not out of my mind and I am not a fool. Ivan understands about the hymn, too. He understands, only he doesn't answer - he doesn't speak. He doesn't believe in the hymn. Don't speak, don't speak. I see how you look! You have already decided. Don't decide, spare me! I can't live without Grusha. Wait till after the trial!" Mitya ended beside himself. He held Alyosha with both hands on his shoulders, and his yearning, feverish eyes were fixed on his brother's. "They don't let convicts marry, do they?" he repeated for the third time in a supplicating voice. Alyosha listened with extreme surprise and was deeply moved. "Tell me one thing," he said. "Is Ivan very keen on it, and whose idea was it?" "His, his, and he is very keen on it. He didn't come to see me at first, then he suddenly came a week ago and he began about it straight away. He is awfully keen on it. He doesn't ask me, but orders me to escape. He doesn't doubt of my obeying him, though I showed him all my heart as I have to you, and told him about the hymn, too. He told me he'd arrange it; he's found out about everything. But of that later. He's simply set on it. It's all a matter of money: he'll pay ten thousand for escape and give me twenty thousand for America. And he says we can arrange a magnificent escape for ten thousand." "And he told you on no account to tell me?" Alyosha asked again. "To tell no one, and especially not you; on no account to tell you. He is afraid, no doubt, that you'll stand before me as my conscience. Don't tell him I told you. Don't tell him, for anything." "You are right," Alyosha pronounced; "it's impossible to decide anything before the trial is over. After the trial you'll decide of yourself. Then you'll find that new man in yourself and he will decide." "A new man, or a Bernard who'll decide a la Bernard, for I believe I'm a contemptible Bernard myself," said Mitya, with a bitter grin. "But, brother, have you no hope then of being acquitted?" Mitya shrugged his shoulders nervously and shook his head. "Alyosha, darling, it's time you were going," he said, with a sudden haste. "There's the superintendent shouting in the yard. He'll be here directly. We are late; it's irregular. Embrace me quickly. Kiss me! Sign me with the cross, darling, for the cross I have to bear to-morrow." They embraced and kissed. "Ivan," said Mitya suddenly, "suggests my escaping; but, of course, he believes I did it." A mournful smile came on to his lips. "Have you asked him whether he believes it?" asked Alyosha. "No, I haven't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I hadn't the courage. But I saw it from his eyes. Well, good-bye!" Once more they kissed hurriedly, and Alyosha was just going out, when Mitya suddenly called him back. "Stand facing me! That's right!" And again he seized Alyosha, putting both hands on his shoulders. His face became suddenly quite pale, so that it was dreadfully apparent, even through the gathering darkness. His lips twitched, his eyes fastened upon Alyosha. "Alyosha, tell me the whole truth, as you would before God. Do you believe I did it? Do you, do you in yourself, believe it? The whole truth, don't lie!" he cried desperately. Everything seemed heaving before Alyosha, and he felt something like a stab at his heart. "Hush! What do you mean?" he faltered helplessly. "The whole truth, the whole, don't lie!" repeated Mitya. "I've never for one instant believed that you were the murderer!" broke in a shaking voice from Alyosha's breast, and he raised his right hand in the air, as though calling God to witness his words. Mitya's whole face was lighted up with bliss. "Thank you!" he articulated slowly, as though letting a sigh escape him after fainting. "Now you have given me new life. Would you believe it, till this moment I've been afraid to ask you, you, even you. Well, go! You've given me strength for to-morrow. God bless you! Come, go along! Love Ivan!" was Mitya's last word. Alyosha went out in tears. Such distrustfulness in Mitya, such lack of confidence even to him, to Alyosha - all this suddenly opened before Alyosha an unsuspected depth of hopeless grief and despair in the soul of his unhappy brother. Intense, infinite compassion overwhelmed him instantly. There was a poignant ache in his torn heart. "Love Ivan" -he suddenly recalled Mitya's words. And he was going to Ivan. He badly wanted to see Ivan all day. He was as much worried about Ivan as about Mitya, and more than ever now.