#i had a moment and deleted the remade blog

[beachghoulz]

alox please how many blogs are you going to makee

this is the last one i swear i can quit anytime (<- lies)

[multitrackdrifting]

I went to my younger cousin's wedding, and I didn't cry or anything but I was happy to see her living such a full and healthy life in the present. I saw all my cousins, plenty of my extended family and while I don't get on perfect with everyone my cousins and I are tight-knit. We don't catch up often but we've always gotten on well.

I think that this life has plenty of servings of bullshit on a plate but honestly, the moments you get to enjoy surrounded by people you care about make everything okay for a day.

I am not an extraverted person, though people think I am because I am exceptional at cosplaying a normal and outgoing guy. I try hard to dress well and groom my appearance and all that shit. Though, one dinner a month or one party is enough for me to feel burned out for quite a while. But as much as I feel tired and all that after the fact, I'm glad I saw all my cousins and even old friends I hadn't spoken to in ages. A lot of them are married or have kids and it's pretty funny to think how far we've come in life.

To people who don't know me that well, I was pretty depressed well into my early adulthood, I didn't think I'd live longer than 18, nor make 21, yet I'm so far removed from that inescapable dread, the spirals and all the other shit that I barely remember what it is like to feel that difficult feeling, like there's a crushing weight on my body, and it's genuinely hard to do anything.

I don't want to live some fairy tale of a life, I just want to live. I'm not struggling, I'm not even close to rock bottom. When I think about the potential life I could've had, I used to feel regret, shit, I felt bitter as hell about it for the longest time. The person I could've been, if not for x y or z - but while I recognize not all pain and experience is meaningful, they still constitute the sum of who I am today. Even if it was just filler and bullshit, the way things went, and the way I choose to walk forward, they make me who I am now. I took a detour, so what?

I have good friends, I look forward to waking up early each day and working on the things I care about. I have hobbies in writing & editing, I got a close circle of friends I hang out with from time to time in real life and I got plenty of good friends online. I don't know for sure what the future holds, and I guess it's scary to think about my life without being online as much (because timezones means that I will never be available to anyone in an American time zone) but I'm also recognizing that the period of my life where I was available all the time to do things was also the same period of time where it had no direction or stability - that I'm just used to it, it's not that I need it, necessarily.

In the future which I'm brushing with, I have to face the reality that I can't be there for people across the ocean and I don't say sentimental things because I am not a sentimental person but that doesn't mean I don't think these things. I'm not built for outward affection for people, it's a lot easier to do with things I like, than people I care about - it's not a lack of emotional intelligence or ability to express that, I'm just not like that because I just don't like doing that.

I was born across the ocean from a lot of people I love and I have no plan to move across it. The hardest thing for me isn't reconciling time lost, the life I could've had or the potential that was left unspent. I'm no longer an idealistic fourteen year old who made a blog because a girl simply asked him to (yes, that's why I've had one since 2010, well, I deleted for like 5 years, but I remade in '22).

I see the future ahead is unwritten, and to write what I want to, I have to sacrifice the comfort I derive from simply being there to do things with people. Part-time work is one thing, it gives you plenty of free time, but a lot of financial anxieties and most people wouldn't choose to just feel terrified about money all the time. I certainly have been there many times.

It scares me, it does. It's so fucking stupid. Of course, I am not the availability I have to other people, and I've always had something I was doing. With college, or work, but I've never had a career - one that was really going somewhere.

Even now, there's still time to breathe before I'm anchored to it. But it's what I want, yet I'm terrified of it. Of seeing my dream materialize, while the world I know actually changes even if it's for the better.

The world I understood, the one I lived, while biding my time until this point, it will fade to the back of my mind even if my feelings about these people don't.

I'll be honest no part of me really loves what I do for work, but it's stable and it's relatively harmless work. I'll never feel the same passion for my job that I do for my crafts and spending time with people I care about. But if one part of me has to suffer for the other to thrive, I'm ready to face that... kinda.

I'm still scared of the future, perhaps I'll be scared even when I'm old. It's my birthday soon, and I still love being alive. I still love the challenge of living and making the most of my new paths.

I've talked to all my close friends about it, but I don't think they understand it really. I commute to the city for work, so I'm out of the house by 7, and I'm home around 7 or 8. I'm just not available that much, and I only have about an hour of free time every day (since I have worked the exact schedule for a year before).

For most people, especially in NA timezones, they understand a couple hours difference being a thing, but for me, I do not have the option to be available or around to do anything and it's so trivial to care about but I do.

But as I agonize over that reality, I too realize that I build up leave - you know? I'll have money to travel. A lot. I'll just build up my leave, go on holidays and do rich people shit (I won't actually be rich, I'm just saying, I'll have more money than I'm making right now).

Maybe I can't cross the ocean and make it home, but I can still cross it. And though I cannot be the guy who rounds out the ranked grind, or the friend who can call with them all the time, I can still be their friend.

I've already worked like this for a year, and I'll be honest it genuinely, well and truly was lonely. In response, I started working more graveyard shift work, and that was not great but for different reasons. But if I really focus on what it can help me do, maybe I can find some middle ground where I know work will never make me feel happy, but I can still find a way to smile each day.

The future scares me, and it also feels kind of exciting.

It's funny. I feel like I've been in a haze for the longest time despite feeling relatively good. Perhaps I was trying not to think about the uncomfortable reality of living a normie life that is a lot more lonely.

I'm not going to agonize on the reality that I have to work to live, working is not that hard to me since the stuff I do I'm pretty good at it. It's the act of work itself being a relatively lonely experience.

Working part-time is okay, but full-time genuinely is gruelling in how lonely it feels. I'm an introverted guy and it makes even me feel lonely.

If I had to have only one wish, it would be to make enough doing anything else that I wouldn't have to worry anymore.

Any job I can just quit on a whim, but a career? No, that's not the kind of thing you just drop randomly. And my ADHD ass is terrified of that concept.

It's such a trivial thing to get worried about, but I'm not afraid to say that it bothers me. Every FT job I've ever had I've hated it. I'm not bad at this career path I chose, but hell, just... maybe this is the endgame of everything.

But maybe it isn't.

Maybe I work this job, I get certified, I quit my firm - I do something else.

Maybe I work harder creatively, and I get lucky.

And I do something else.

The future is still not set in stone,

so I guess I'll have to take it as it comes

before I can do something that actually makes me happy

and in the mean time I should just find peace in knowing that what I do helps me live a stable life

even if it kind of sucks to feel alone

But just think, that I'm here to have any fear to face is something remarkable in and of itself. I wasn't supposed to make it through the dark, and I did anyway.

I take pride in living, even if nobody can see its value, I'm glad I'm alive. I'd rather have boring problems than struggle to face forward, or look people in the eyes the way I did when I didn't think I deserved any joy or happiness at all. I'm glad I am alive.

[kunstpause]

Tbh the main reason I remade my blog is because one of my posts on the old one got insanely huge, and it kept getting notifications even after years. It was a quick first expression of grief over the sudden death of an artist I really admired. So I didn't simply want to delete it because it obviously resonated with many thousands of people. Someone who's death had such an impact on me I have a tattoo reminding me about one of his messages on the back of my hand, but that's a positive memory, and that post will always be a first expression of shock and disbelief.

So when I came back to tumblr after a few years, and the first notifications I saw were still about that moment of sadness, I thought a new start might be just the right thing.

[collidingxworlds]

End Hiatus & Blog Updates !

So, I'm officially back from my hiatus! I have accumulated quite a few drafts and I still have to write them all, so I'll keep the queue slow (one reply every two days) until I'm caught up with them!

Also, there will be a few changes regarding the blog:

I'm turning this blog from selective to private (which means that I'll be pickier when it comes to following [back] people). This is because I'll be keeping it low activity (as it was before the hiatus), since at the moment my muse is still mostly for my other main blog. In that regard, I've also purged my followers and following list from the people I didn't follow back / never interacted with

Rules and Muses pages have been moved to Google Docs for easier access (links can be found on my pinned post)

I'm removing Dean Winchester as a muse. The chapter "Supernatural" is officially closed for me. I'll still be open to write with Spn RPs, of course, but I won't write muses from the show anymore (see next bullet for info on Gabriel). Tagging the people with whom I currently have threads with him, so you guys can be properly warned: @skallagrimulfhedinn, @waywardfeathered and @dayatarik.

For what concerns Gabriel, I'll be keeping him in my roaster in his current status as a request muse. However, I'll be favouring using him for AUs (even if his canon verses are still available of course!)

In general, I've changed the activity status of a few muses: Abigail, Five and Sam Adams are my primary muses; Will Graham and Crowley are my secondary muses; Will Byers and Moriarty are my tertiary muses.

Last but not least, I remade my Interest Checker to fit the changes! Please, make sure to fill it (this goes also for the people who had already filled it, I deleted the old replies)!

Thanks a lot for all your patience! I'll get back to my normal posting schedule asap!

-Scotty out !

[mystery-salad]

Creation asks. 3 + 5 for Ruan Huo, Embrant, and Niutuiyik. Bonus question 13 if you still feel like talking!

Right at the top, I honestly don't know what memory depths you pulled Niutuiyik from cause he existed for like a full two months as icebrood saga started then got deleted when the chapters on the third map released and my enthusiasm for the expac plummeted...I can't find him searching my blog, no idea if you just remembered his name??? I'll answer what I can for him but honestly a lot of info has left my head on that one. 100% answering 13 as well to make up for the missing oc info there 🙏 it did delight me to see him again, maybe he'll get a remake of sorts now that I've had time to develop my own icebrood saga...don't even have a screenshot on hand of him any more 😔

3. How did you choose their name?

Embrant was simply by sound. Just syllables I like together that read to me as a sunny spring day!

Ruan's was a matter of going over old gw1 and gw2 canthan names at length until I felt like I landed somewhere that felt right for them

Niutuiyik I do not remember the full thought process, if I remade him this would mean I'd be picking a new name too because I know his name did have meaning and I'd want to keep that level of intent

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

Embrant's entire color scheme was based very loosely off the bird of paradise flower, which includes her hair color! It's just mostly for a nice cohesiveness~

Ruan dyes their hair because they enjoy the color and that it makes them easy to spot in a crowd despite how short they are! Their natural color is a dark nearly-black brown.

Niutuiyik had black hair, entirely because it made sense for him and I in general stick to natural hair colors unless a character dyes their hair or I'm feeling fancy

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Embrant is all caught up but doesn't pass, and considering she's a Warden of the Grove, her story is very very chill and simple aside from her gf being the Commander's protégé lmao

Ruan's story is constantly caught up and jumping ahead right now, they're one of my most up to date commanders at the moment. But their plot is always malleable and subject to changes if the plot reveals dictate it and it's fun✨️

Niutuiyik's story burned so bright for so little time.......if I ever do remake him, I'd talk about the story then

[chromorbid]

If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not!

i just got so emotional over old ask chains bc of this, god you remember those days????? in 2012-2016 when this was a thing all the time and people had so much fun learning about one another and making friends??? i just happened to be looking at tags on my ollllllld second blog right before seeing this too. that feels a bit serendipitous, dont you think? :')

instead of just "3 random facts" i think i'll use this ask as a springboard prompt for a brief history of my time here on this website, since a lot of folks are returning and it might be nice to come out and see what some of my old lost chums might be up to now.

In mid-2011 i joined tumblr because i realized all my favorite dA artists were posting on dA less and on here more. I didn't do much here until i encountered a piece of fanart of a character from a certain webcomic, got curious about that comic, enjoyed it, and discovered that there was a big community on tumblr who liked it! my first ever URL was.... man i don't really remember! Maybe something reflecting my dA name at the time? But i don't remember what that was then either, having deleted that account ages ago. but i think my second one was "gamzeecryingalonewithpie" or something to that effect because the "laughing alone with salad" stock photo meme was big. It was so silly.

Eventually i trended into making all my urls/handles some sort of pun having to do with death, and some years ago i settled on my current url for a twitter handle because it really hit me in a place. My best friend and currently roommate @mossspores came up with it!

Anyhow, i basically spent all my time on tumblr being comparatively insufferable from 2011 to about 2017 before i migrated the majority of it to twitter. At the moment, I actually keep looking at all my archived posts from my old blog trying to find some old OC stuff and being ridiculously embarrassed at how silly (ignorant? abrasive? entitled?) my young self was. I'm not certain about sharing my olllllld URLs besides the one from before, but probably my most famous one was "ammodramus"--I was bestowed the nickname "Ammo" for the longest time and probably gained the most followers during the run of that one. I think the most followers i ever got up to was somewhere around 700 on my first blog and close to 1,800 on my second one. (funny now, i've had this particular blog probably the longest out of the three and barely have over 100. i like this better, though.)

Now for the BIGGEST thing i was part of....i was really into the whole once-ler fandom craze. yeah. i was there on the ground floor, and basically became one of the biggest enablers of the ask-blog phenomenon. i even tried really hard to make my own of the "personification" blogs eventually, but it fell down flat because i was in a dark place mentally on the side while also dealing with the gradual degradation of my physical ability to draw (aka painful arthritis). But i had the most fun i had ever had online before in the thick of it. i made toooons of friends and i even still keep in touch with a few of them. There were a lot of mistakes and upsetting blunders made by myself and a lot of people i knew, but these days i think i'm generally okay outing myself as having been a part of it. i mean, it's been ten goddamn years since that kicked off after all. lmfao. i was also an ignorant teenager.

Now you'll just see me skulking about on here vaguely while reblogging posts in short bursts because i still never took to figuring out how queuing posts works best. For a long-ass time i had a tagging system i took VERY seriously and trigger-tagged religiously. when i remade to my third and current blog, i gave that up and BOY did my mental health suddenly improve or WHAT. i realized i'd been absolutely running myself ragged with caring about appearances and making sure as often as possible to upset NO ONE with my posts. Basically, the way that simply analyzing every single post i shared and making sure to cover ALL my bases to make sure no one felt irked by my sharing of a post, was, uh. To put it mildly, fucking exhausting. And i posted A LOT. I can guarantee i had to have cumulatively reblogged nearly half a million posts between those two accounts. Last i checked on just my second blog, the pages went back into the 10,000s.

so yeah! hi to anyone who read through this whole thing who i knew way back when! I'm doing much better than i used to be, thanks to a lot of therapy and medication. i made it out of the house i grew up in, even the State i grew up in, and feel a lot less like i'm gonna die before 30! :') i've been chilling, playing final fantasy xiv, and eating lots of rice and vegetables. o/

thanks for the ask! <3

[thecursedhellblazer]

End Hiatus & Blog Updates !

So, I'm officially back from my hiatus! I have only few drafts, so they'll be posted between this week and the next one.

Also, there will be a few changes regarding the blog:

I'm turning this blog from selective to private (which means that I'll be pickier when it comes to following [back] people). This is because I'll be keeping it low activity, since at the moment my muse is still mostly for my cartoon blog. In this regard, I've also purged my followers and following list from the people I didn't follow back / never interacted with

Rules and Muses pages have been moved to Google Docs for easier access (links can be found on my pinned post)

Last but not least, I remade my Interest Checker to fit the changes! Please, make sure to fill it (this goes also for the people who had already filled it, I deleted the old replies)!

Thanks a lot for all your patience! I'll get back to my normal posting schedule asap!

-Scotty out !

[sunshine-butch]

Oh dear, that would be me. Apologies! I was trying to anonymously submit to your ask-box. At the very last moment I saw I had made a terrible mistake and I panicked and deleted my entire blog. I'm absolutely embarrassed about this, thank you for handling this so gracefully, oh dear. :")

oh honey

i ended up thinking that may have been what happened, and i felt really bad for you 😭 that sort of thing is literally my number one biggest tumblr nightmare. i'm so sorry it happened to you

please know that i don't think you silly, or foolish, or anything of the sort. and i don't know if you've remade and followed me again or not, but you're very welcome to do so, should you want to

[chaseadrian]

I am not making blogs to interact with you. I made one blog after deleting my original and then deleted that one as well.  I have a blank lurker blog so that I can read fics and that is all.  I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t send messages, I don’t reblog or like anything, I don’t use an active blog anymore.

The only reason I am messaging now is to ask that you please stop saying negative things about me to people and to ask if you would be willing to delete any asks that were tagged with my name and delete the edits that were shared to the net blog. All I want us to quietly disappear.

I Have no intention of messaging again after this I’m only messaging to ask that those things be deleted. I just want to be left alone and forgotten. I don’t want to interact with you or anyone else, I don’t wanna be an active part of any fandom after this experience. I hope that you won’t publish this and that you might be willing to delete those things. Thank you.



i’m seriously gonna need you to stop victimizing yourself and playing dumb. i never said a single negative thing about you, the post that caused you to send this message was intended as exactly that. because i knew you were still disrespecting the very clear boundaries i set by blocking you.

you deleting your blog was a choice you made. you leaving fandom was a choice you made. and you remade three blogs since i blocked your original. i saw you in my notifs reblogging fic and edits, i’m not stupid. when i blocked those two, you remade again to message me specifically and when i blocked that blog, you deleted it.

you’re acting like i’m this big bully who scared you away from fandom when for months i was patient with you and tip toed around your feelings. i am not the fucking overlord of any fandom, and yet you put me on this pedestal and think because i blocked you, then you might as well abandon your blog & friends you made? how is any of that my responsibility? and how is it fair of you to assume i’m talking negatively about you? before i blocked you, you had nothing but positive things to say about me and then all of a sudden that switches on a dime and you “have no clue” what you did or why i blocked you. if you truly believed that, you wouldn’t worry about anything i have to say bc it would just be lies, right? but that’s not the case, and on top of that, i haven’t said anything outside of “someone is disrespecting my boundaries, i have to turn off anon.”

i’ll delete everything you asked, but im publishing this message because the audacity for you to come from a position of “i just want to quietly exist and be left alone :(“ after blatantly disrespecting my boundaries from the moment i blocked you. i also want a quiet fandom experience, i also want to be left alone. i blocked you FOR that peace. the fact that vee ( @nobodys-baby-now ) even had to step in bc i was literally paranoid and anxious bc you just wouldn’t leave me alone is ridiculous. and you STILL didn’t get it. i’m done. you’re almost a decade older than me and i need you to act like it. i hope you find some healing soon.

[scottspack]

wait i just realized it’s sdcc weekend which is so wild because i remember when that used to be THE biggest weekend of the entire year on this stupid website

[sourkitsch]

tagged by @flamejob !! Ty Izzy!!

1. why did you choose your url?

Because I’m obsessed w symbolism and metaphor. Also bc if I don’t process my trauma in the most esoteric way possible am I really processing it at all xoxo

2. any side blogs?

Yup! I haven’t touched any of them in years though. Not sure why I haven’t deleted them. They’re just there I guess

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

… it’s coming up on 10 years… the worst part is I’ve never remade this is the original blog I started with

4. do you have a queue tag?

Nope I’m nowhere near that organized!

I do use my queue a lot tho, which is why my blog is so cluttered. Half these posts I saw like. Last month and they didn’t fit the vibe at the moment so I was like “ok sometime in the future”

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Again. I was 12. I had a crush on a girl for the first time and she was a year older than me and had a blog so I joined to reblog anime gifs. Worst origin story imaginable.

6. why did you choose your icon?

It’s a detail from Caravaggio’s Sacrifice of Isaac! A piece that means a lot to me + fits w my url

7. why did you choose your header?

Because I talk about Jesus so much for someone who doesn’t personally subscribe to his newsletter.

Also I love Tiffany Pollard are you kidding me. Somebody lied to her— several times— and told her she was fly, hot, and sexy, and beautiful and she’s nothing like that. She’s nothing of the sort.

8. what's your post with the most notes?

A stupid meme post I made that got 60k notes and was passed around the most annoying group of people humanly possible. I was so close to just deleting it but then I changed it to just a picture of one of my guys.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I don’t keep track. I probably interact with 10-15 of you regularly.

10. how many followers do you have?

979

11. how many ppl do you follow?

902

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah who hasn’t

13. how many times do you use tumblr a day?

I wish it was less!! This is my only social media though, so it’s better than Twitter I guess

14. have you ever had a fight with another blog?

I’ve never fought with someone on here who I didn’t also know in person….. but I’ve also spent a large portion of my life in spaces where other people have tumblr…..

8-9 times probably

15. how do you feel about need to rb posts?

I’ll read them occasionally. Don’t reblog them though

16. do you like tag games?

Yes!!!!!!!! I love them!!!!!!

17. do you like ask games?

Yes I also love them!!!!!! Unfortunately I sometimes rb them when people are offline but I do try to time them for the most part. I love to share little facts abt me

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

The amount of times I’ve seen Caro’s posts just out and about @lanadelreyrichardlionheart

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Actual genuine romantic feelings? Of course not. I do like to see certain people interact w me and I’d love to get to know some of y’all better though!

20. tags

@calvarydrive @californiaquail @theoryofreligion @blood-and-breath @vivisecti0n if you wanna do it!! No pressure tho ❤️

[miraculouscontent]

Ask Explo--

...you know what, you’re right. Name change effective immediately.

Askplosion #10:

(unrelated to everything by the way but I DEMAND THE ANON WHO MENTIONED “REMARRIED EMPRESS” A WHILE BACK COME FORTH AND ANSWER FOR THEIR CRIMES. IT’S SO GOOD BUT IT’S UNFINISHED AND I’M HOOKED, HOW DARE YOU)

Asks responding to previous posts:

It’s okay! I figured that was what it was but it’s been so loooong.

Ah, wow.

Um, that’s definitely not a part 2; I think that’s more like a four-parter/five-parter or something.

Sorry! No can do!

That’s totally fair!

I think the reason I so quickly agreed with it is like--

I’ve been watching the Inuyasha sequel and it’s not like I don’t think the narrative’s apparent punching bag Moroha (who is fourteen years old) shouldn’t be punished when she does something wrong/sneaky/manipulative, but they punish her as if she’s Miroku (who was eighteen years old).

Basically, I want the punishment to take the age into account, or at least only affect Marinette on a more personal level and not be “Heart Hunter” where they take totally understandable feelings of heartache (remember, it wouldn’t have mattered which miraculous she took because Hawk Moth got the Miracle Box and Fu regardless; even beyond her emotions, I feel like she chose the best option available to her considering which temps she knew the location of) and then punish her for them by memory wiping Fu and taking away all of her temps and giving Hawk Moth the grimoire translation.

Yes!! I really wanted to respond to this one, thank you! (It’s this one and then there was another one talking about Luka and Adrien, then talked to me about how I refer to Luka as “soft” but not in a bad way; I unfortunately don’t remember the whole thing.)

Ahaha, and yeah, I feel you. Anti-salters are a very strange conundrum I still haven’t figured out; like, I get not liking salt, but...

I mean, when I don’t like certain content, I just blacklist it. If I end up seeing it anyway due to cross-tagging or a lack of tagging, then I just blacklist the person themself. You won’t see me going after people for that very reason; I only see what people send/ask me if it’s content I don’t like.

I’m glad you’ve found some peace in this blog! Hopefully it continues to be that way for you in the future!

(and yay, a fellow INTJ!!)

New Asks:

There are female writers? ;P I just assumed they were all locked in a closet until the male ones were like, “okay, pretend to help us here, we need one female writer to claim girl power.”

As for Ladybug all like, “Cute, isn’t she?” I think it was rhetorical (she could also be messing with him but “Glaciator” tells us that she didn’t know he crushed on her so who knows). The writers do this thing where Marinette is all panic-y and occasionally self-conscious as herself, but then as Ladybug, she suddenly gets a bit of an ego. I think it’s meant to be there in order to make Chat Noir look less... idk, “obnoxious” when he starts boosting his own ego; trying to balance the two by giving them both big heads, so to speak.

Honestly, I feel like Adrien needs less screen time. :|

Even when he’s not on-screen, characters are usually talking about him, or you see his face in Marinette’s room/somewhere in Paris. I’m become so jaded by the guy that I don’t even think it’d matter if they remade the series and gave it a “totally good and interesting Adrien.” That’s how badly the show has made him out for me; “Adrien Agreste” the character is just... sigh, I’m so done with him.

And yeah, this whole idea about, “Marinette is [x], we need more AAAAAADRIEN!” comes off really bad, lol, especially when Adrien has very little going for him.

(this ask ends off like there should be a part 2 but there isn’t one in my inbox, so sorry if there’s meant to be something else!)

The exact lyrics according to the wiki:

My wish for a cat who's in love, with our own Ladybug. Is that he'll get what he's always wanted! She doesn't know she loves him, only sees Adrien, But Christmas miracles always happen!

Yeah, especially nowadays, those lines bothers me. Not only does it imply “true selves,” but that it’s Chat who should be getting what he always wanted and Ladybug is the one with a problem.

Like, excuse me?

Probably Stormy Weather, even in the first episode. Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn’t even touch her until they arrived on top of the TV station.

+ With all those effects and shots, it made it feel more action-y than typical episodes.

Marinette, Aurore, Luka, Anarka, Jagged...

basically any name that I haven’t really heard before (”Luka” makes me think of Vocaloid but the Luka there was female), or a name that relates a lot to the character (like “Aurore” for “aurora” since she loves weather things).

dfjbghfkdgfdgnjfdg this anon really like, “I NEED ANSWERS!!!”

It’s as if these characters hit 18 or something and just grow overnight, I swear. I’m hypothetically fine with some more variety in character height (it’s not like the show tries to be realistic, after all), but maybe don’t give us official heights if they’re gonna be this weird/inaccurate.

Especially when they change it just for the sake of a shot anyway. If you watch “Simon Says” when Ladybug and Adrien stand next to each other while looking at the picture of Adrien’s mother, the very next close-up has an obvious difference in their heights from what you just saw.

They’re 3D models!!! This shouldn’t happen!

I... honestly never thought of the “less threatening” thing! Dang!

And yeah, Marinette isn’t helpless or incompetent, but because of the Adrien crush, it makes her that way at times since she’s always falling on him and--

...ugh, actually, yeah, don’t wanna think about those implications. Hard pass.

Gross.

I’m not familiar with that one, though Astruc deletes his tweets all the time (there was one tweet where he confirmed that Luka was poor and it only exists in screenshots now because it didn’t get archived and he deleted it almost like he realized that he was pointing out the blatant classism in the show, oops).

Yeah though, I haven’t seen anything like what you’re describing. Sorry!

It’s okay! Sorry for having you clarify but him choosing and Marinette deciding to never give it back are very different things.

I don’t recall Chat Noir having much purpose in the final fight (in terms of both contributing and actual fighting; I know Cataclysm broke the object to release the akuma but was it needed?) so Marinette might either go cat-less or get a temp. Plagg could also be helpful in his own right because he’s small and blends in with the night, so he could hypothetically sneak up on the bad guy.

Afterwards, there’d need to be a new cat, but Adrien would also have to reconsider his actions and really think about what happened. I could also see Plagg going to Adrien’s house, half to apologize for giving the idea to Adrien that Adrien leave without telling Ladybug, but also half to call him out for giving up without consulting anyone. Adrien is a lot of conflicting things (see Adrien’s passivity compared to Chat Noir’s recklessness) so he’d have to find a middle ground within himself.

Marinette might carry Plagg around in her purse for a while and let Plagg have a say in who he goes to. Plagg might grieve for a bit over not having Adrien around (even if Adrien was flawed, Plagg didn’t ask for any of this so Marinette is doing her best here).

O-oh.

That’s always the rough patch with “endgame ships.”  Once it’s obvious to the audience that they’re endgame, no more effort needs to be put into them.

The other thing too is how Kagami, for example, is friends with Marinette. Even once Adrimi sinks, she’ll presumably stay friends with her. Luka, meanwhile, is Juleka’s brother.

They have lives outside of their love interests. Adrien is so into Ladybug that he doesn’t have that; I mean, Nino is Adrien’s best friend like once in a blue moon.

The entire class is just watching an episode and then calling on raised hands to answer what was wrong with what they just watched.

“Everything?”

“I mean, yes, but I’m sorry, you have to be more specific to get credit.”

I think Aeon herself is fine. It’s mostly just her transformed and that transformed name that I have a problem with (she doesn’t even look uncanny so I don’t get it). I heard there was something wrong with the name “Aeon” but searching the name doesn’t give me anything I would qualify as such so I have no idea. I just wish she was given a little less “I’m programmed to--” (makes her seem less sentient) and more “[anything that doesn’t have to do with pushing the love square]” because I feel like they might’ve done the latter to make her more “likable”? I think fans of anything usually like the “matchmaker” character provided it’s for a ship they like. Also strange that they make her a robot but Max and Markov don’t extensively interact with her, but that’s a nitpick and not a criticism of her character.

...I’m rambling, my bad lol.

(Ohhh, she was supposed to be a mummy? Like, foreshadowing her “dying”?? That went right over my head but I guess that’d be where the name Uncanny Valley came from? No clue.)

Best case scenario is probably the middle or the end of Season 4.

And yeah, it really doesn’t matter to me what they do with the love square. Marinette had gone through too much suffering and the show goes out of its way to show how much stress Marinette is being put under (and also keeping Luka away during episodes like “Gamer 2.0″ even when it makes sense for them to be there, as if trying to make sure Marinette doesn’t have enough moments with him to forget Adrien).

Like, ah, yes, I totally believe that Marinette is in a position where she can make reasonable decisions about her love life while all circles of her life are on fire.

If the Sonic movie of all things can have an interracial couple, there’s no reason why this show can’t, just saying.

And, even with Marinette, she’s white-passing (according to what basically everyone says, I’m really awful about recognizing race so this isn’t my field; I wasn’t aware that Ondine was Asian, for example).

Does Nadja count? Manon’s dark-skinned (I’m still not over the fact that all the kids in this show are dark-skinned; it’s not like it’s a problem from a representation standpoint - though all the kids are also all generically bratty/whiny so there’s that - but the percentages in this show are weird) while Nadja is really light-skinned, meaning either a dark-skinned husband or Manon is adopted.

Though I guess the problem then is that we don’t know, so there’s no established couple there.

Non-Miraculous Asks:

w-who gave you the right to say such things????

Uhhhh, that might be too broad of a question, I’m sorry!

I know this isn’t satisfactory, but I will say that my favorite genre is Fantasy/Romance (it’s why I adore Red Shoes so much; by the way, an anon asked for my opinion on that a while back and I will get to it! I’d need to watch it again to get screenshots) and my least favorite is probably Tragedy/Horror.

I don’t think I’ve watched enough to really be able to say? I’ve kind of been all over but I’ve never fully gone through any of them outside of Miraculous. I’ve seen bits of Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew, Star VS the Forces of Evil (don’t know if that counts), and I meant to watch Yuki Yuna is a Hero but never got around to it. I saw the entirety of Puella Magi Madoka Magica but you guys know how I feel about that one.

Maybe Cardcaptor Sakura by default then? It was definitely not perfect but I liked some of the character dynamics (I also have a clipcut of it - basically where I go through a series/movie and cut out parts I don’t like so it’s only good stuff - so I’m cheating a little) and the male love interest was a tsundere type that I actually ended up liking, which is really rare.

!!! That sounds sweet~ I know Sailor Moon is popular so I’ll definitely take your word for it on that one.

I would also accept a “reincarnated”/”destined lovers” trope if maybe the ship themselves are the one who set it up in the first place. I have a Lukanette AU, for example, where they basically got together and then prayed to the shrine of the renewal god that they’d “always be together,” which ended up allowing them to reincarnate over and over (as if they set up their own soulmate AU ;P) and continuously find each other.

Though I guess that’s not technically a “meant to be trope,” but still, it’s a form of it but where it was totally consensual on both sides.

Also, I finally thought of a show that ended with the ship I wanted: Gargoyles. I didn’t see the entire series, mind you, but I saw most of it and Goliath and Elisa were just... quality, I adored them.

+ With Beauty and the Beast being my favorite Disney movie, they fit right in with my tastes.

I forget that AangToph (I think the “official” name for the ship is Taang, but don’t quote me on that) exists sometimes, maybe because I’ve never shipped Aang with anyone; I’ve got no problems with the ship though.

Ugh, and this is what I mean when I talk about people who set up these reasons behind people shipping something based on what they saw a few people do. It’s like, “you only ship Adrimi/Lukanette to spite Adrienette!!”

Meanwhile, me having shipped all three at one point and then dropped off the love square.

Also, me shipping Zutara has nothing to do with it being dark/edgy because I’ve never seen it that way (intriguing, sure but dark and edgy? lol) and also avoid dark/edgy ships like the plague.

I still laugh at people who are like, “you can’t ship it because it’s not endgaaaaame!” as if shows can dictate how and why I enjoy something. Like sure, if you want to let a show/movie spoonfeed you how you’re supposed to feel, then by all means, go ahead.

I suppose people may be theoretically happier that way, but it doesn’t make for an analytic mind.

I legitimately thought that “AssClass” must’ve been the actual name for something until it registered with me what it actually meant.

And eh, I guess it depends on the comparison and how accurate the comparison actually is? Like, comparing Puella Magic Madoka Magica to Miraculous... they’re not really close at all, but comparing... idk, Bunnyx to Homura or the concept behind “backfiring wishes”... maybe?

-

(note that the rest of this post is more Puella Magi Madoka Magica salt so you can stop reading here if you’re not interested in that; I’m not sure if this is all the same anon but I don’t mind letting people vent so I let them go off~)

why can’t we just have nice things

I agree, and I give a little eyeroll every time it’s like, “oh, this person had [miraculous]”

+ even just in general, I feel weird about any show that mentions/implies that real world famous people are [x] or [y] in their show. It breaks my immersion; real world locations are one thing but when it’s specific people (unless they’re made up characters like Santa Claus) or games just--break me.

I also don’t know what to think when there aren’t magical boys but you have these magical girls in this frilly outfits/skirts. The demographic is girls so I presume the reason must be like, “you can look pretty and still beat people up” (;P) but having so many magical girl shows without a hint of a magical boy makes me suspicious that it’s for fanservice. Sailor Moon has Tuxedo Mask but I also don’t know what that guy did outside of the meme of him doing nothing so I’ve got no clue.

(edit: I should correct myself that I’m not talking about Sailor Moon specifically; I don’t know magical girls that well, though I do know there are ones clearly intended for fanservice (you could say that for anything, to be fair, but still). It’s just that I see things like super short skirts or very “questionable” shots and I’m just like, “hm”)

Hmmm, good question. I feel like there has to be a lot but I’m also the type who doesn’t watch a lot of TV lol. I’m just familiar with cliches and tropes and such.

The reason I try not to use “ism”s of any kind is mostly because it’s too broad. Like, you know how the English language only has one way of saying, “I love you,” but other languages like Spanish have multiple?

It’s like that, and sometimes I think it’s too easy to throw those words out there. A “small” (possibly completely unintentional/misunderstood) offense is sexism, and then a “large” offense is called the exact same thing. I’d rather go into why something is sexist than just call it that, y’know? The only exception I make is “classism” because I feel like that’s not as... I dunno, divisive?

Anyway, for that same reason, I can’t answer firmly that, “Madoka Magica is sexist.” I will however say that it makes me uncomfortable with how the show makes out the girls being emotional because they’re young and female and then proceeds to make their life a living hell before they’re old enough to properly answer to it (I know that’s the point but that kind of makes it worse?). It doesn’t help with how all the girls have different personalities, so it’s not like you have only “crybaby girls” who are being taken advantage of; it’s basically like... all girls.

Not helped is the fact that their soul gem not only deteriorates naturally, but it can also do so faster if the girl falls into despair, which then turns them into a monster (and I know it’s kind of like an akuma thing, but the fact that it’s only girls is... I dunno, it comes off wrong?). It seems cheap that the soul gem deteriorates no matter what so it constantly needs fed even if the girl is consistently happy.

I would probably opt for the show being centered more around Kyubey being new to this or something - like, magical girls are a new thing - and then have Kyubey being surprised because they presumed that the soul gem would deteriorate naturally since “emotions are powerful but destructive to the person having them,” but then all the girls team up and help each other work out their problems. Maybe the reason magical girls are usually alone isn’t even because of the grief seed (I think that’s what it’s called?) thing not being able to be shared, but because Kyubey intentionally separates magical girls so they can’t do what the main group is doing, but Madoka is so into the idea that, “We shouldn’t have to be alone,” and so she’s constantly pulling all the girls together, which keeps them healthy.

Maybe Homura’s backstory could be that Madoka originally was more sheepish and more afraid to put herself out there, especially since she was a magical girl (who are encouraged to go it alone), which is why their soul gems were both deteriorating; they were friends but kept more of a distance, or maybe they were a team but that’s all they were. Then Madoka gives Homura the last grief seed to save her and that’s what inspires Homura and makes her see Madoka as something more than a teammate, which is why Homura actively tries to save Madoka specifically (which then encourages Madoka to want to keep everyone together as friends).

In the case that Kyubey doesn’t separate them out of concern of fRiEnDsHiP, but for another reason altogether, and then it’s ultimately their own downfall when they allow the girls to hang out and realize that it’s doing a lot of good for them.

“cute and innocent”

That was exactly it. It’s on Kyubey’s trivia section on the Puella Magi Madoka Magica Wiki.

Before the anime's first dark plot twist aired, head writer Gen Urobuchi said on his Twitter account that the "Kyu" in Kyubey's name comes from the English word "cute". This was a lie meant to further mislead fans into thinking that Madoka Magica is an innocent happy show. In a later episode, it was revealed that "Kyubey" is, in fact, short for "incubator".

In my personal opinion, a spoiled plot can’t be “ruined” if it’s a good plot. If you told me that Kagome was trapped in the Modern era for three years and then decided to stay with Inuyasha at the end of Inuyasha, it wouldn’t/shouldn’t decrease the value when I finally see it for myself because it’s good. That’s not to say that everything should just be spoiled right out of the gate, but it’s saying that maybe your plot isn’t good if you have to rely on shock value to make it work??

I FEEL THAT “ASSIGNING IT TO THE WHOLE GENDER” THING SO BAD. It just adds to my “the girls all have varying personalities so it’s not like Kyubey’s only after emotional crybabies or anything” salt.

I have no idea about any of the stuff about the writers so I can’t confirm or deny them. I will very much agree on the target audience thing though, especially with the whole “keeping the dark plot a secret” because really? Who is this for then? Like, the first two and a half episodes are for one demographic and then the others are--???

I dunno. Me personally, I just like feel good stories. I do like some good conflict and drama (for context, Remarried Empress is basically a webtoon that gives you things to feel salty about and then makes its own salt fic as its plot, allowing for endless streams of feels and catharsis, so I’m definitely not against drama), but there are other times where I just want to feel good watching something.

I feel like the show expects the characters to be selfless/perfect and then punishes them even though it’s their writing that’s causing them to act out. I can’t really talking about “out-of-character” but sometimes it’s just obvious where “we did this because we needed a plot/conflict.”

Like, hello? We don’t need the main characters screwing up; why can’t we just have some feel good thing where they take the day for themselves (seriously, imagine a Miraculous episode where Chat Noir actually tells Ladybug to take a couple days for herself, like maybe someone else gets the earrings for a few days as a temp while Marinette gets to breathe; IMAGINE IT). Not everything needs to be high-stakes to be interesting and you need those calmer moments so that the action-packed ones feel more intense.

SAYAKA DESERVES BETTER.

I feel like the magical girl genre as a whole can be way more complex than it’s made out to be. I think people hear the word “magical girl” and think “cute girls in short skirts talk about girl problems and fight evil with the power of friendship and accessories.”

Ugh, just the mention of Rebellion makes me sigh internally.

Congrats on working on your own magical girl story! I hope it goes well for you!

I know it’s not technically a magical girl show, but there was also Totally Spies that Astruc worked on to some degree (I think there was some characters who were based on/a loose reference to the mains from that show but I don’t remember exactly).

The thing about the female characters suffering is that they could make for good lessons on positively directing one’s emotions (like Usagi from Sailor Moon, for example, maybe having a problem with taking her anger out on her friends, but learns that she can save that rage for the bad guys; “Gamer 2.0″ from Miraculous could’ve done that, honestly, by having Ladybug absolutely WRECK all of her gaming opponents in “violent” (cartoon violence obviously) fashion). It’s just a shame that it’s not taken advantage of.

Sayaka??? Selfish???????

*does not compute*

(Also, I wasn’t tired of them, don’t worry! It was a little overwhelming in my inbox but it’s me who’s allowing all the asks to flow in so the blame isn’t on you lol.)

I’m not sure where this obsession came from with, “you have to be selfless and you’re not allowed to use your powers for yourself.” It’s like the world’s going to end if a character leaves to go Self-Care or something. I think what happened is that shows got this idea that promoting only the giving of others is great and it’s not important to take time for yourself (even with “Gamer 2.0,” it was still Marinette playing games with everyone else, and they treated her dedication and seriousness like a bad thing when she literally did not have time to waste and they didn’t give a reason why it was good for her to take a break, only that she should).

This usually leads to the “demonization” of characters who sport a lot of self-confidence or any sort of ego. It works on both sides; Marinette is a punching bag because of her anxiety and occasional lack of confidence, but if she had an ego as Ladybug, there are parts of the fandom who deem her “obnoxious” (i.e: “Reflekdoll”). There’s a delicate balance between “be confident” and “be humble” and it’s a tightrope act.

[mobian-of-science]

Lemme explain

// So, my new Flask blog glitched out of nowhere and now it's shadowbanned.

// Long story short, I stupidly deleted the new blog I had because it was glitching out and created an identical one out of one of my old blogs I never used.

// The newly remade blog was immediately shadowbanned, so I can't send messages to people or normally interact with them in any way.

// If you used to follow it before or are interested in interacting with different other non-mobian versions of Flask, feel free to follow me through this link

https://labmousin.tumblr.com

// I will start being active there the moment it will get unbanned. Thank you all and sorry for the inconvenience!

[dollcrafted]

there’s only a few of you here but i feel like i need to explain what happened yesterday, and it shall be placed under a read more. this will be my pinned post for a bit.

so, last night/early this morning, i had a breakdown. i felt alone, unwanted, unloved and replaced. this wasn’t triggered by anyone in particular, i want everyone to know this. rather than reaching out to people, i began to shut down completely and deleted a bunch of my blogs. i also left all three group chats i was part of due to these thoughts and feelings i was having in the moment. as for my blogs, bella was actually the one i regretted deleting instantly, closely followed by zoey. both blogs have been remade but zoey will be getting a totally new start. she has a new url, a new face claim and her new surname. she can be found over at @dearestdead​.

i do apologise for those i worried. i do love you dearly. 

and, for those of you who read this, thank you and i hope you can forgive me. 

[thebeckybear]

Tagged by @love-and-cubs-and-white-wolves Thank you sweet, this was fun to do!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I don’t really know where it actually came from, but it’s the same name as I am on pretty much everything. So it’s just easy to use.

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have @yo-necesito-ayuda which is a blog that I used for when I was learning Spanish, I am still trying to learn that language but I found learning through Tumblr wasn’t the best way for me so I found other ways to do it. However, I still have the side-blog because I have no idea how to delete.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Years! I can’t even remember not having it. I did fully delete it once (by accident, I was trying to change the theme or something) but I immediately remade another with this name.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Not really. I sometimes queue stuff (like a birthday post) but not often.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started because my favourite band is Asking Alexandria, when I started and had my old blog I had a very tight nit group of friends on here. I was also on Twitter (which I’ve since deleted for good and will never return to that site) where I would talk to people over there as well. But then we all got different interests and when I accidentally deleted my previous and restarted, I kinda had a second to realise maybe they weren’t treating me all that right.

6. Why did you choose your icon & header?

A very talented woman on Instagram called @/merue.art that I commissioned did my profile picture, it’s of me and my turquoise green check conure, Dandelion. I love it so much that it is on everything.

My header is of the WILTY trio, need I say more

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I have no idea how to find out? But I think it’s my

‘What moves by itself?

Henry, what moves by itself?’

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I have quite a few, I have my Mackologists and a few from The Witcher fandom and still a few from my Asking lot

10. How many followers do you have?

115, tiny number from what I used to have but I’m hardly on here so it’s to be expected. Plus, I don’t really post the ‘popular’ stuff, I have quite a varied blog so I doubt many people would want to follow that because it’s hardly consistent and I don’t follow many people myself.

11. How many people do you follow?

283, for the same reason as above. I’m not on here much and I hardly follow people. I have quite a lot of posts though which I’ve just seen the number of

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Pretty much all the time

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Depends on what I’ve got going on in my life, at the moment not a lot due to two massive assignments I have due for my MSc

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I try to avoid getting into arguments. I’ve had a few on animal blogs before because of how misinformed they are. I study animal management and conservation, so to see false information being spread so quickly and easily does upset me. But I quickly realise the people I’m talking to are too ignorant to want to open up and change their minds so I guess, they think they’ve won when really they’re just too stupid to argue with.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I do ignore them. My blog is for me, it’s my happy place and I post things that I love and I try to stay out of all these ‘you need to reblog, if you don’t you’re heartless’ like no, I don’t need to reblog this to show who I am. That’s reflected in myself in everything I do to help and conserve animals. My tumblr presence is where I express my happiness.

That being said, I have learnt and educated myself from a few of these posts. So even if I don’t reblog, I probably am still going off to find some more details and information on that subject.

16. Do you like tag/ask games?

I enjoy them, a lot.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I reckon quite a few

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t. I love all of them so much and they know that. But most of them know who I do have a crush on (and no guys, I haven’t messaged him yet)

20. Tags?

@comedyfan2013 @flatnumberseventeen @mackologists-r-us @hawt4brits1981

This was so fun!

[ubemango]

I am sick of it 😁😁😁😁

Help!!! This is like my fifth time making a post like this 😭!!!!! BUT I won’t apologize for that because I’m still growing and Learning and trying to be better so. if it takes me five billion tries to finally feel good about myself then so be it 😎

So here: these have been my thoughts the past couple days!!!! There’s a TL;DR at the end if you don’t wanna go through all of it lol but please read if you are able to :,)

Remaking meant a new me! New blog! New (-ish) content! BUT somehow... I still haven’t gotten past a Lot of the Barriers I thought I could overcome if I became ubemango 😅 I ranted about this on my private but the start of lunyua meant the start of a really bad year for me. I got anxious easily, and that made my skin reach an All Time Level of Bad AND fucked up my sleep schedule big time 😅 In short: my health just BOOM plummeted. And then August came and I had a Major panic attack because of a certain fic I posted and it reeeaaaalllllllyyyy just made my experience here on Blue Blog the worst after that

I tried over and over again to find a compromise with myself and my content. I took days off, I deleted fics, I remade......... and now I’m here. And still feeling very Anxious and Bad 😁

I think I want to address something first: I’m currently a full-time second year student majoring in English lit and Political Science, which means: SO MUCH READING AND WRITING 😅😅But my GPA was a solid 3.7 which!!! I’m really proud of lol!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁 But anywho! I posted drabbles here and there but even then I still felt super anxious and tired. I thought maybe cutting content down to just drabbles would make me feel less bad about not putting out content Period, but now that I think about it....... I was Still Anxious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t seem to get out of it. I still wake up everyday with this annoying feeling of dread and fear because to be frank: I feel like I’m not enough. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel horrible because I’m not writing, and when I do sit down to write I hate what I put down.... case in point. It sucks 😁😁😁 And I am sick of it :D

I wanna go on hiatus. Very badly. But I don’t wanna call it that lol. More like. A Break with a capital B. You know???? Like I enjoy the asks I get immensely, I enjoy responding....... But I think what I’m really trying to get at is .... I really need to start doing things for myself. I’m going to write what I want to write. I’m not going to set deadlines because in reality... this blog is Not my priority at the moment ha ha

So I’ll start my final thoughts here: I’ve been trying to get otiyr 2 out ASAP but it’s not working. It’s making me anxious. It’s making me lose my mind. So I’ll put it on the back burner for now ^^

I might just.... disappear for a couple days at a time. Answer asks when I can (I try not to keep asks in my inbox for more than 48 hours at a time hehe). I’m still writing, but I’m just writing when I can hehe. If I ever start feeling like it’s making me want to d*e, then I’ll take the break, and I won’t feel guilty about it. Because that’s what I’m ultimately working towards. Not feeling like I want to off it all

I’ve started taking melatonin and I’m sleeping for a while.... But I’m still waking up lol, I might just go to the doctor because I’m scared I have sleep apnea 😭😭😭😭😭 Drinking lots of water when I can too. Today I sat down and wrote all the things I needed to do for school and felt like I could do it Right. Thought of reviving stories that I wanted to get out but Didn’t because I kept focusing on otiyr lol.

So...... I’m slowly working on it :) Finding my place. Trying to Feel Good for once :,) I love u much. I’ll get better! So please be patient as I try to do it the best I can 🥰

TL;DR: I’m writing what I want, when I want to. I don’t know when my next fic will come out. I don’t really want to think about getting anything out rn lol

I might randomly go days without posting

I am trying to feel better :)

Love always Ella 💕