#i had a whole rant in the tags and everything then i had to delete the first post

[desiredcaramellatte]

Do you think you could do some crk self aware au stuff?? The tag is painfully dead.. if not feel free to delete lmfao

That aside, during Cookie Odyssey, I was **convinced** that soulstones we're going to come into play somehow, it was like my major theory during ch.2, and nobody could convince me otherwise but it never happened. Giving the soulstones an in lore explanation would've been fricking awesome imo..

Can we get some HCs of the player (or their in game kingdom) basically having a monopoly on soulstones while the cookies are left scratching their heads as to not only how they work, but also how the reader got what is technically a part of their souls.

Write for anyone really, idm that much. I generally like the Creme Republic though-- whether reader is still behind the screen or knows the cookies are self aware is up to you really.

That would be very cool if they actually had a lore explanation :0 I thought the soul jams were soul stones first time I heard about them tbh, they just linked together in my mind, also reader is so real for trading monies for souls

I have never written self aware before so apologies if it sucks-

Anyways enough of my ranting, hcs yes

Self aware cookies & reader

(Who has a soul stone monopoly)

Gingerbrave & friends

Gingerbrave is one of the least confused cookies regarding this, to be honest. Mainly because he doesn't really care enough/doesn't notice to really question it. You gather these little trinkets that make him stronger! Cudos to you from this boy.

Wizard, on the other hand, is confused as hell of this process. Where do these stones come from? Are they truly linked to the Cookie's souls? Does that mean that they are not fully themself and/or complete until they are fully leveled, even if they only materialize with twenty of them?

Wizard just wants to know. He has asked you multiple times over, getting confused by your answers and delving in deeper whenever he can. Exactly WHERE do they come from? He's obsessed with finding out by this point.

Strawberry really doesn't mind. She's a little confused where they come from, but, like Gingerbrave, she doesn't question it too much. She does like to occasionally made theories, but she doesn't really like to share them.

If you're good friends with her she may share some of her theories with you, but none of the wild ones, and only if you ask.

Clotted Cream

WHOLE ASS ENGROSSED. He wants to know everything about the soulstones. Where do they come from? How would one even 'farm' these and how does farming a soul even work?

More specifically, he is trying to find a connection between soulstones and souljam. They do almost the same thing and have very similar names- they're both linked to the soul, and make cookies stronger.

He has spent many restless nights awake thinking about this.

Much like Wizard in that he's harassing you for answers, but he does asks questions more subtly.

Clotted Cream has flipped a few tables (with occasional assistance from Financier) before, mainly when he gets annoyed enough at not having a verifiable answer to this.

Financier

It is what it is. She accepts this. She's got dragged into the theorizing by Clotted Cream.

Chilling, mainly. She doesn't really mind not care. Likely to thank you for doing your best to collect them and to make everyone, including her, stronger.

Black Raisin

Intrigued by the sparkliness of most of these soulstones. Much like a crow, she is attracted to shiny objects. Her crow friends are too.

Black Raisin has a small hoard of soulstones that she's occasionally found, of all different sorts of cookies. The sparkler the soulstone, the likelier she and/or her crows are to snatch and hoard. If the soulstone is just a pretty rock then she'll also hoard those too.

If you really need a soulstone she will likely give one to you. How often and/or how many depends on her connection to you.

She's farming them with you by this point.

Oyster

Yoinks you.

She wants to have conversations about this. She wants to know what they are and where they come from. She will offer you tea and scones while the two of you converse.

When she first found out that her stones are Super Epic, she was very proud of herself.

Probably sends you back with some every time you come visit her.

Captain Caviar

Doesn't believe they exist. They're just rocks. Nothing more.

He will stand by his claim to the death. This WILL be the hill he died on. Captain Caviar does not believe soulstones exist.

Probably has made some propaganda about soulstones being fake. Socks, hats, jackets, you name it, he's likely made it with the words "Soulstones do not exist, numbskull" in big letter on it. Except shirts.

Pure Vanilla

Very much like Oyster. Will likely join in on your conversation time and/or will invite the two of you over for his homemade tea and treats!

Most likely to understand how Soulstones work due to him wielding Souljam, which is the most similar thing to them. Also the fact he has lived for a long time and has gathered many knowledge on the subject.

Probably has a book on the subject somewhere.

He likes to sit and watch the Ferris Wheel Landmark rotate. He likes the motion.

[if-chaos-was-a-boy]

Hi everyone! It's me, Eden the mod of calix and a few other ocs again.

[TW. SA, strong language, read at your own discretion and risk]

After a lot of consideration, I thought it would be best to follow up with a clearer and more detailed account of the situation with the Circe Blog. I did not initially want to make this statement but I owe it to people to give my point of view, in hopes that others can understand a little more context.

Let's start from the beginning, when I was first alerted to this situation by my friend Lilly @unhinged-waterlilly on 14th of September. [She has explained more in her own post, I strongly recommend checking it out, it is tagged at the bottom of her intro]

I was still pretty confused about the finer details and decided to ask Jack about it. I expressed my concern at the switch of Odysseus from a victim of sexual assault to a rapist. They told me that it was an AU and that it wasn't canon.

And at that point of time, I did not think too much about it, I just hid my disagreements and let the conversation end.

Jack reopened the topic by telling me about a strongly worded ask they got. And after looking through it, I agreed with the overall sentiment but did not agree with the way it was delivered.

The person who wrote the ask has since apologized to Jack and made it clear that they do not agree with the way they've worded the ask.

But after watching how jack reacted to getting this criticism, I made the decision to recommend them to write the apology.

At first I wanted Jack to write it by themselves, as it was more genuine but after hearing

some of their concerns with writing apologies regarding these important and serious issues

Seeing their plans for how they would write the apology

It was clear that if I let Jack write the apology alone, it would not have been an apology. It would have been a hole filled statement which did not address key issues. It would have done harm to others and to them. And as someone who truly considered them a close friend, I didn't want to see anyone hurt.

this is the link to my apology for writing the jack’s statement

And so, l asked Jack to blurt out everything they wanted me to reword.

And it pissed me off that in all of their rants, the word sorry did not appear once.

The context did not make an appearance as well.

At that point of time I thought it was reasonable until I caught the number of times I needed to add "I'm sorry" and "Remorseful" in the apology.

Initially they wanted to delete the Circe blog immediately, but I convinced them that it should be done AFTER the

statement/apology was up, as it would only be right because it was mentioned in the apology.

I also advised them to stay off rp for a while, to let everyone breathe and they proceeded to tell me that they were addicted to p but again, because I had no context, I did not think much of it.

Maybe I should have probed further, maybe I should have asked.

But at that point, I had just written a long, long statement and I was drained, emotionally and physically. The past is the past, I will no longer keep thinkin about the what ifs and could haves of this situation.

Then came the post Jack made after me, Lilly and Skh had made our statements. His boyfriend had come online with the intention to understand the situation.

But this whole fucking post read to me like it was made with the intention to villainise our statements. And the sheer fact that I can pick up on that is concerning to me, doesn’t matter if it’s on purpose. As soon as your question post starts sounding accusatory, something is WRONG.

What's the harm in such a post? Well.

People who see that post THEN read our statements have a filter on.

Suddenly our concerns become twisted into scathing judgment.

Our opinions and thoughts get distorted to hurtful and hateful messages.

None of us. Me, Lilly or Skh said the phrase 'I hate Jack' in any of our statements.

What drove me to make this statement is to share my side of the story, so it could be valuable to anyone who needs it.

Onto my feelings and views on the situation, I was sympathetic and supportive for most of the time period of this shitshow.

But I am upset and angry that my friend Lilly needed to make a statement that she shouldn't have to make.

I am disappointed at the management of this situation by Jack

And I am sorry that this got out of hand. This situation that should and could have been resolved so so long ago got this widespread and hurtful.

I'd like to add that i do not hate Jack. I don't hate people.

I get disappointed in people. I hate ACTIONS.

Right now, I'm feeling an immense amount of burnout, hurt and stress from this situation.

This is going to be my plan of action:

I don't think I am going to be interacting or talking to Jack. At least not in the way we used to talk. My trust has been compromised and I need time.

I am going to be less active in my main for awhile. I need time.

I am open to queries or anything, just please be respectful.

have my own views and opinions about some other things that I will not disclose right now.

I am tired.

@that-girl-cupid

@goddess-of-bubblegum

@unhinged-waterlilly

@love-lightning-forethought

@iceweavercatlover / @debacleofdaemons

@chaos-pers0nified

@stephen-the-spider

@bambi-the-dummy

@emdabitchass

@i-was-never-sane

@athenas-weirdo-daughter

@divine-wine-daughter

@kaiaalwayswins

@smileyalater

@daonedaonlyskh

@bast-the-best26

@kiaradaughterofselene

@pink-koi-lovejoy

@itsyourboyezra

@hispanic-child-of-hermes

@mireya-the-awkward-extrovert

@gellyhelio

@ariathemortal

@arisdaughter

@syd-the-nerd

@steve-the-union-man

@psychicbluebirdmiracle

@madson-of-hermes-notluke

@thegroovydaughterofhestia

@the-olympus-assassin

@heraaaaaaaa

[snug-gyu]

so another year is coming to an end, and i feel like a lot has happened to me this year that i should do a little post so i can remember everything i went through and the good things that came from it. under the cut cause this will probably get long

so this year i moved back in with my parents for mental health reasons. i left behind a good job, great coworkers and a place i had just recently finally got to myself. even though i had all that, i was still feeling so bad with myself i realized i needed the support to get back to my feet.

i lost my most precious baby in the process to a horrible desease that took him from me in a matter of days, and i had to watch him suffer through it all while not being able to do anything besides make him as comfortable as i could.

with all that, i also got myself into a terrible job that was so taxing on me i feel like i deleted most of those months from my mind as a defense mechanism, to the point i broke down one day after being humiliated by my asshole boss and finally quit.

all of this happened while i changed psychiatrists and treatment at least twice, so the weeks following me quitting my job were very important to finally give my mind some rest and now i'm in a job that is a lot more considerate and less taxing on my mental health.

now on for the good things.

this year i managed to see two of my faves live, nct 127 in january and ateez in august. i haven't been to concerts in so long and now i'm completely addicted. i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store (hopefully skz?)

through all of that, some friends have been soooo important to me. you guys were there for me in my darkest hours and for the happy times as well.

@secretdiaryofanawkward my bestie, i love you. thanks for being there every day with your memes, rants and cat pics. i cherish our memories together even if it's just laying down in silence while we do our own thing. thanks for helping me while i was on my lowest and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be where i am now mentally without your help

@hongamon , @changbeens and @cryiingemoji . you guys have been with me since last year and i know i can count on you being there to cheer me up with blorbo pics or to talk shit about people. thanks for your friendship and i hope you know i'll always be there if you need me

@ggthydrangea and @winterfloral , your words (or gifs) of reassurance mean the world to me. also @juiceofmoons and @missyedits , even though we didn't talk much i'll always have you in my heart. i know y'all been busy this year with work and uni, but i'm glad we finally managed our mb babes' call

@chanrizard my beloved wife, @decembermoonskz by sweetheart, @agibbangs my spiritual neighbor and the whole of lix jail @leenope @jinniebit @lixence @thnx4thefish @wisteriya @happysmilebtr @babebatter @haenglixie thanks for the chaos and the laughs and even if we don't talk much y'all are very special to me.

all my beloved moots, i love you guys very much and it's lovely to interact with you even if it's just through tags sometimes. you have a special place in my heart and know that if we're moots you're automatically all my friends

@hanjesungs thanks for caring the burden of modding the stayblr server since it's begging and for being the voice of reason when we need it

to all of the people on the stayblr discord server, know that i consider you all my family and going there is like coming home, so thanks for always being so warming and nice to hang around. @hongjoongpresent @brightermorepls @astraykidz @noonaracha

sorry if i forgot anyone, just know that i'm very grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. my ask box and dms are always open 💜💜 thanks and i love y'all

[wrongcaitlyn]

AHHHH I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I SEND YOU TOO MANY ASKSMHFJGXJC BUT ANYWAYS- the greatest of luxuries takes place around 2018, right? Which is also coincidentally around the time tiktok got popular so just like hear me out-

Nico is a chronic tiktok user and definitely makes tiktok dances (he was supposed to use it for promotional purposes and it's not until Apollo asks him about it that he actually does)

Nico and Will are those tiktok friends, the kind that you see videos of and it just looks like they came straight out of a coming of age movie- same goes for whenever Leo is featured in Nico's tiktoks like they are so iconic

Apollo definitely gets tiktok for the shits and giggles, only to go accidentally viral constantly- like he could make one silly random tiktok of freaking alley cat he found and it'd get like 50 million likes 😭😭 (bros tiktok account consists of his children and their silly friends)

ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD DAY 🫶🫶🫶🫶

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR TOO MANY ASKS I LITERALLY LIVE FOR THEM LIKE YES PLEASE ASK ME A MILLIION QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS AU THAT CONSUMES MY ENTIRE LIFELKSDF

and you are RIGHT OHMYGODSKLJF i keep thinking of a way to incorporate it bc rn they're in 2019, but i'm like, ahgsdf how do i bring in tiktok, do i make it a whole convo or just casually mention it orrrr

i do have quite a few tiktok headcanons in relation to them but i LOVE your ideas they're so real😭

these are the hc's that i had before reading this but tbh might have to go back to the drawing board on some of them becauseee i mean

(also i deleted tiktok a while back bc it was too addictive so tbh i have no idea what's going on over there anymore... nor was i there in the early daysSDLKF)

nico already strays away from social media quite a bit, and i think over the music industry changed, it's def encouraged for artists to like promote their music there and stuff. BUT. he has a bit of an addictive personality (relatable) and so when he eventually downloads it (because he would resist for a very long time) would get hooked. except he rarely posts, instead, he's that verified celeb account that you find in the most random comment sections and he spams all his friends with vids. he definitely gets a lot of pet videos i feel like, like the cute dogs and cats and he would send a vid of like yk YK WHAT VIDS IM TALKING ABOUT like two cats snuggling with each other or smth and send it to will with 'us' i just KNOW he would bc it's incredibly sappy but doesnt require too much descriptionsfkljs

he probably has 235829348 drafts and he mostly posts random stuff that's completely unrelated to his music. like i bet there would be a few people (when he occasionally says something related to his job) who didn't even know he released music despite definitely having heard it

i didn't really envision him doing tiktok dances eXCEPT maybe they all stay in his drafts. bc i dont think his vids would really be focused on *him* because he's not a huge fan of being on camera, so it'd more just be like those rants where you can only see his forehead or random studio vids oR TRAVEL VIDS WHILE ON TOUR. he would def do those. there's def some people who think he's a travel influencer and then find out he's a grammy award winning artist and are like ??? NICO?? FROM TIKTOK???

but he isn't called a "tiktok artist" despite some people knowing him from tiktok because he literally ALWAYS forgets to promote his own music in his vids. his fans are promoting it in the comment sections to try and get the people who think he's a travel influencer to listen to him😭

but his posting schedule is so very sporatic like he'll post ten vids in a day and then nothing for a month. it's fully based on vibes and is completely chaotic, just like everything else he does

will, like any other social media platform, has a private account. (nico also has a private spam) so will is that person who tags people in the comments like all the time (whereas nico sends it more often just bc he doesnt wanna risk being on the wrong account accidentally)

he appears a LOT on leo and lou ellen and cecil's tiktoks (and nico's) and every other week there's a huge internet search to find out who this guy is on a new famous person's tiktok account and then someone will be like "it's just will solace again HOW THE FUCK DOES HE ALWAYS FIND THESE PEOPLE"

like when he randomly shows up in taylor swift's getting ready for her nyu graduation post. like he's definitely there for a brief second in just like the reflection of a window or something and everyone goes CRAZY

before realizing it's this cryptid guy again who seems to be surrounded by every famous person to exist

he definitely posts a lot on his private account though and often it'll just be him rambling about something he's learned in class or him documenting every time he sees a cute animal in public

eventually he'll be dared to make a public account and he decides "haha that's funny okay sure it's not like anyone will find me"

WRONG. this guy is allergic to being not-famous. he will never be allowed to be a normal guy. his first video goes completely viral. he posts once in a blue moon, usually documenting his friends being crazy and every single time he does, it gets like a million views with people in his comments being "how does he know them???"

but you are DEFINITELY right about his account always seeming like it comes out of a coming of age story

and there are most definitely thousands of shippers in every single comment section with literally every friend. so he tries to have at least two other people in every single video so that people can't ship him with just one other person. but it's unavoidable. esp when he comes out as bi, people are just shipping him with ANYONE who shows up on his account

he also does those screaming lipsync vids to whenever a song by one of his favorite songs comes out he's a huge fanboy

OH and he gets to show off his vinyls there. he loves doing that. he's got so many and vinyl tiktok admires it.

also in every single video there's at least one comment that says "you look like apollo the singer"

EVERY SINGLE ONE

leo's the most active on tiktok, as he is with every other social media

it's either him building something, him setting something on fire, him with his friends, him talking to the camera while walking down the street (you know the genre of tiktok)

he is very similar to will in the aspect of "HOW DOES HE KNOW THEM??" but he's been a bit more public than will so people will know him more

he doesn't go viral as often as will (despite posting 132532x as much) but when he DOES it goes VIRAL viral. like tens of millions of views. it still happens quite often and he has the highest follower count of the friendgroup

and he's also the most active in comment sections like he's in every comment section you can't escape him and he replies to like every single one on his vids, usually with very cryptic responses that leave you with more questions than you started with

he ALSO tags will and nico in a bunch of videos, but not in a private account. he doesn't have a private account. he just tags them (obviously, avoiding any romance-related / stuff that could out them, in which he would send it to them) in EVERYTHING

and that's also the highest chance you have of will (on his public account) commenting on a video bc he's mostly on his priv

he also (when him and jason eventually come out) makes a million couple tiktoks and does all the trends

most recurring character in his vids are piper (and shel) (and will and nico over the summer when they're not so far apart)

apollo runs the account for delphi records

i know i haven't shared much of this BUT most people 100% assume that it's run by some intern or something bc of how casual it is but it's actually just him

he loves comment sections and hyping up all of his artists

oh BTW leo and will and apollo do all the promotion for nico because of how much he forgets about it

it's very common for nico to be posting a random ass video and then the top comment is Delphi Records ✓ Check out Nico's latest single, ______!

he also EVENTUALLY gets a tiktok for himself

that is just entirely his kids

as he should

aside from leo, i think kayla and piper are most active on tiktok

piper knows all the inner fandom details from shel (who has an editing account 100% bc i have an editing account and im projecting onto her)

piper's vids are mostly with leo they're such an iconic duo

idk why but all i can think of when thinking about piper is that her feed is like momona tamada?? like that's the vibe we're going for here

and ofc she promotes charities and other important topics there too!!!

and if there's a wlw trend going around yk that piper and shel are going to be on that first thing, probably the top video under whatever audio it is

and KAYLA. GOD. KAYLA'S TIKTOK IS SOOO ICONIC i think she's second to leo with most followers

the lip sync videos for sure, also out of all of them i think she'd def do tiktok dances she'd slay them all

and then some of them are just trends or her in the archery range

somewhat similarly to will, she often gets comments that say "how does she know them??"

but like a good 30% of people watching the archery events of the olympics are there just because of her tiktokSDLFKJS

she also happens to go viral. all. the fucking. time. like i swear apollo's kids just HAVE to go viral all the time they can't escape it they're made for fame and it's likeee kayla does love it (will not so muchKSDF and austin has avoided this problem by just not downloading tiktok at all! except apollo's video of him performing has gone viral. oh well.)

so those are my hc's feel free to add on to these!!! i would love to hear what y'all think bc AHGSDFL writing about these characters' social media is one of my favvv things to do - thank you for the ask!!!! sorry for the lengthy rambleKSDJF

[xx-slug-xx]

//rant where I just go off about the recent antis who have been going around. There’s been so many that I’ve seen, so it’s not about any particular users tbh. Like, my dash is filled with different antis and I wanted to say something about it lol

The recent rise of certain antis not knowing how to spell, using abbreviations for almost every word they type, and talking like they can’t be any older than 15 is really concerning tbh.

And when I say “taking like they can’t be any older than 15”, I mean they lack any sort of argument or desire to have one while using patterns in their text that is shocking similar to middle schoolers to early high schoolers using (all the way down to the slang, abbreviations, and punctuations). Everything boils down to “lol kys pedo 💀”. Like, do they not realize how dumb they sound? Do they not realize that every anon ask I get that sounds at all like this, I just delete it and move on with my day? Nobody takes them seriously besides the antis who are on the same wavelength as them, and that’s not something they should be proud of (they are proud btw). And they really think they are getting somewhere with it. Really it’s just annoying :/ I used to be an internet troll back in my day (13 to be exact lol), and what made it fun wasn’t the “hahaha I hate you” aspect of it, it was the debate. Well, for me at least. So I really don’t understand this whole thing that these new antis who have been showing up on my dash lately who have absolutely no point to be made, contradict themselves, and don’t even bother to look at anything other than a label someone uses. What do they gain from this? Like seriously. There’s no gain from my perspective when nobody is taking what you say with any seriousness and your just a minor annoyance.

I really am concerned though, and this is regardless of this new wave’s actual ages, because I’m not assuming that they are minors without proof of such (I have reason to have high suspicion that they are minors, but that’s not relevant) (and if they are minors, who fucking told them it was at all ok to interact with people who they think are pedophiles?). But like, do folks not realize that harassment with no real logic behind it just makes them look stupid when it’s done in this fashion? Like, harassment in general is dumb, but this is worse for some reason imo. I’m in awe tbh, like, /srs on this one. I’m concerned about people’s basic literacy skills and their ability to think about things rationally. If this wave consisted of people who had valid criticism and wanted to hold a debate about the topics at hand (which, personally, I love the antis who are like this because I love holding serious discussion on complicated topics), then it would be a completely different story. But there’s been nothing but stupidity clogging up my dash lately, and I’m kinda annoyed :/

I’m also waiting for the antis who have been perusing the proship tags lately to see this and say something lmao

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

[osarina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

whats the tumblr accounts of some of ur fav ocs like

I wanted to come up with actual usernames for them but some were taken and that's kinda awkward uhhhhhh

Becky Maurice

“You have tumblr? Ew grosss”

I love Becky but she wouldn't be caught dead on tumblr 

She's a Instagram tiktok girl sorryyy

If we are being sillay then she’d have a secret acc prlly one of those girly coquette blogs or a stan blog for cupcakke whaaaaaa

Definitely just something with aesthetic photos and gifs.

Also Becky does editing as a hobby so she might post some of her videos

If she were to interact/collab with someone it would be like those giant editing videos

(i guess this might be an instagram thing but when a lot of amv editors come together and slay)

She would only post edits that are relevant to the aesthetic and theme of her blog

also she'd delete asks and dms (if its not about collabing)   

Jia 

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my--"

I used an old photo i alr had oof

I don't even know but she would send a lot of hate anon

Like her whole blog is just her arguing with people.

She sends it off anon first but if someone stops replying or blocks her

She makes an another acc and goes on anon to terrorize people.

She's deff the person on live telling the opps to pull up and it's like 4 am

She got a job (a literal warrior princess) but she behave like she unemployed so she on here 24/7

I don't wanna say her blog would be like a thirst trap blog but...

if she's not arguing with ppl she's flexing on them and posting like insane workout videos.

Or sparring sessions.

or thirst traps but in a way to piss people off

She’d prlly post some sort of art too but the replies and reblogs are turned off cuz she fight with too many people hahhhhh

She’d also have to remake her blog so many times cuz she gets reported a lot

Jelly

"Actually now that i think about it she'd send anon hate too"

Jelly wouldn't use social media cuz she doesnt know what it is

But if she was stalking really liked someone she’d join.

Deff one of those accs that look like a bot

no header no pfp no posts no likes no titles or anythin

she just lurks 

or sends weird anon asks

Rurue 

"I draw her too damn much she doesn't need an image"

pink with glitter and its kinda tacky lookin with clashing colours

Her tumblr would be kinda a fandom blog?

About all her little shows that she fw

reblogging and likin everything hahaha hits the post limit everyday

she's one of the people that goes crazy in the tags

Rurue would post her fandom ocs awwww its gonna be so cute. 

Also just post images of her toys and little crafts then fucking randomly a image of her killing someone.

She gets away with it because people think it's a fake

She also doesn't know how to take good pictures so the victim is not identifiable

Octavia and Debbie

"Debbie doesn't look like that i was having trouble with her face so i covered one eye and yassified her..."

I'm grouping them together because they’d have very similar blogs.

(they are literally connected)

they are both kind of self loathing so they’d never post anything directly about themselves. 

ooo Becky would prlly find Debbie's blog and put her on blast -

"Uh look at the stupid shit debbie is posting on tumblr lets all make fun of her"

"Wait a minute becky…how’d you find that?”

“.......”

“What are YOU doing on tumblr???”  

The blogs would be a mix of like a rant vent #depression and like those early 2010 cringe like

The main difference is that debbie would be posting shit like this

and like those black and white images of crying anime girls.

Octavia would be reblogging historical art and photography etc etc

Ok thats it. Ahaha i spent to much time on this, sorry for typos <3 

[transienttheologyproject]

i hope my followers & others keeping up & supporting this project know that whenever you leave a kind message on my post — whether it be something as simple as a tagging your reblog of my posts with ‘!!!’ or as personal as sending me a message to the effect of ‘this type of work means so much to me thank you for doing it,’ you are helping me keep my momentum going.

bit of a whole big rant below, sorry for the length, but tl;dr i’m just immensely grateful for what support this project has received because the backlash it has gotten has taken way more of a toll on me & my mental health than i anticipated, and your kindness has helped in motivating me to not just completely wipe this whole thing from the internet.

today yesterday kinda sucked. a lot of the past couple weeks have sucked, especially since pushing more of an online presence with this zine, because of course, with something like this you’re naturally gonna attract a range of Christians, from those ‘gender-criticals’ (whatever that means) who think I’m misguided, to those who begin their messages by calling me & my work perverted, to those whose vitriolic transphobia manifests in sending me Gospel verses weaponized as straight-up death threats. and obviously i knew this was going to happen, and it did, even from as early on as when i was posting the calls-for-art.

and at first i handled it well — i deleted whatever i felt wasn’t worth my time responding to, and if i could meme a hate-comment into a promotional tiktok, then i kept it around to do exactly that. and that worked. i told myself i wasn’t going to get defensive and bound up in keyboard wars because the purpose of this specific project, this specific platform isn’t for debating or dialoguing with Christians who don’t affirm trans+ identities — it’s to serve those who are trans+ and Christian, and I didn’t want this intra-community effort to become an inter-community debate forum. dialogue is a perfectly necessary thing, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time & a place for everything and this project wasn’t meant to be it.

as the weeks went on, however, the negative attention this project was receiving began to take a toll on me. it didn’t help that in addition to the anticipated pushback from Christian peers, some of the trans+ folks i knew gave me a hard time for ‘bootlicking the oppressor.’ i was, and still definitely am, having the most intense experience i’ve had to this day of the exact type of ostracization that inspired me to pursue this project in the first place — too trans for the Christians, too Christian for the trans folks.

receiving comments calling an academic research project i dedicated my entire summer to “perverted” made me doubt everything i had worked so hard on. accusations of “heresy” and “blasphemy” i had expected and received plenty of, but perversion was not something i had anticipated. comments like “you make me sick” made me second-guess everything i had done leading up to that moment — am i sickening? i was falling for the false narrative that exists as the backbone of much of today’s transphobia — that trans+ people are inherently groomers, monstrous predators. i was perverting my body, they said, and scripture, too — and i began to wonder if they were right.

receiving comments like “enjoy your insanity! I hope the boot still tastes good when they've taken away all our rights so you could feel like ‘one of the good ones’” made me doubt my identity as a Christian. yeah, it’s no secret that the anti-trans legislation running rampant and scaffolding an era of fascism in the United States is the result of neoconservative Christians who represent more the Rome that Jesus mocked & condemned than Christ’s mission itself. i began to worry if calling myself Christian identified me with the oppressor and if talking about transness from a Christian perspective was really a helpful endeavor or if i was essentially stabbing my trans+ community in the back.

you’d think that given the nature of this project, i would be better about not letting those sorts of interactions wear me out. because i’m conducting a project that’ll say “hey, trans+ Christians, you don’t have to choose between those two facets of your identity because they’re not mutually exclusive,” you’d think i would’ve had that mindset confidently internalized. or maybe you wouldn’t think that, but i guess i thought so myself. and i guess i thought that expecting the petty backlash & having done enough research to dismiss it was enough to be prepared for it. not really.

from the beginning, i told myself, “don’t let the mean ones get to you, you’re smart and have done your research and know what you’re talking about.” but there was such a separation between myself and my work this summer that i never truly internalized what i was writing about — i believed it, but i didn’t necessarily believe it for myself.

this project has been a labor of love. and i definitely think the labor part got the best of me this whole summer. the literary review was a drag. writing up the annotated bibliography was immensely frustrating and took me way longer than i would have liked. same with the zine’s section prefaces. and i had planned and hoped to meet with and interview several professionals in the various fields examined in the zine — and i totally dropped the ball because of… something that felt like burnout, which actually made me feel like i had committed the biggest blunder of my professional career before it had even begun. I’m still recovering from that.

the mental and emotional toll this has caused me, the academic, spiritual, psychological, and physical strife this whole endeavor has proven to have been has resulted in me sort of dissociating from the project; i talked about it as though it was a passion project of mine — which it is — but as i was working on it, i felt so disconnected from the material. as if it were akin to a homework assignment in a class i couldn’t care less about.

i’ve been in a tough spot regarding mental health for a long while now (for various other reasons besides this), and i’ve reached the point where i’ve wanted to pull the plug on something to just try and break whatever vicious cycle im trapped in, whether that something be as large-scale as dropping out of university, or as low-scale as shaving all my hair off, or maybe…well, maybe since i can pinpoint these online interactions and this research pursuit as a whole as contributing substantially to my poor mental state, maybe i should pull the plug on the zine. screw it, delete the social media pages & the website, make sure artists get their copies & be done with it.

but i have folks who have been legitimately looking forward to this — not even just people of the intended audience! i have cis Christian friends on my college campus who had never met a(n openly) trans+ person, let alone a trans Christian, before they had met me who have demonstrated such a genuine eagerness to learn from the expressions of faith and gender from myself & others like me. i know a Catholic mother — the sweetest woman — who is ordering a physical copy of the zine so she can try to understand and support her two trans+ daughters, and any other trans+ people she meets, better. i’ve had countless people — strangers — message me “this work you are doing is incredible and incredibly needed. thank you for doing it.” i’ve seen several people, folks just scrolling through their tiktok for you page who don’t even usually follow after leaving me comments to the effect of “yknow, this is a strange crossover episode, but i’m here for it, this is cool!”

there are people who want this work out there. and what’s more is that there are people who need this work out there. and i guess every time someone goes out of their way to extend some kindness towards me and gratitude for this project, i am reminded that i am among those who need this work. those little moments ground me in the purpose and mission of this project — to serve my trans+ Christian community, particularly those who may be having trouble reconciling their intersection within those identities especially within the current socio-political climate. and like, that’s me!!! i am a member of my community, i am a part of the people i am hoping to serve.

everything i was (and truthfully, still am) anxious about, everything that was (and is) weighing on my heart is everything that this project hopes to challenge. all the doubt i’ve been experiencing as of late is exactly what inspired me to do this work in the first place.

and the kindness and gratitude so many of you have extended towards me in the past few weeks, especially within the past few days, have truly helped ground me. i’m still struggling to get back on my emotional feet per se, which is why i will ask that if you find a moment, you keep me in your prayers — but i genuinely mean it when i say that every positive tag on a reblog, every share on one’s story and every kind comment serves as a reminder to me that a.) there are people will be genuinely served by a project like this, and not only that, but b.) i am one of those people. you all remind me to take a look at what i’ve done from the perspective of a trans Christian, not of a student researcher or a graphic designer or a social media moderator or any of the other practical roles i had to take on this summer. you remind me to look at this project as the type of person it’s meant to serve. you remind me of my initial hopes and goals with this endeavor.

you remind me to allow myself to be transformed by the work i have done.

when you share with me how inspirational this project is to you, you remind me to let myself be inspired by the work i’ve done. when you share how much this zine means to you, you remind me to let myself take meaning in it.

and i think it’s sort of ironic in a very beautiful way — so much of this zine focuses on the idea of entanglement and the interdependence of many facets of our lives, and it wasn’t until this project became entangled with you all so much that your experience with the zine is no longer just dependent on mine, but that ours are interdependent on each other. the positivity you feel at learning about this project is poured back into my cup, giving me the breathing room to finally allow myself to feel positively about it, too.

so truly, from the bottom of my soul, thank you. thank you for your kindness and your support, and for making it this far in my ramblings if you have. i know it was quite disorganized and probably very repetitive but this is my first time sort of articulating what i’ve been feeling so heavily recently. so, thank you again — i hold each and every one of you always in my heart, mind, and prayers!

<3 - Soup

(the man behind the curtain)

[lost-technology]

Antis?

I am wondering, since I had an embarrassing snafu of reblogging - and subsequently deleting what was apparently intended to be a shipping art that had lost its tag by the time I'd seen it, what constitutes an "anti" in this fandom? (In my defense, the art did not contain any kissing, sucking or nudity, nothing sexytimes). I do not simply see two characters together sharing emotional moments or aggravation at each other and automatically think it's a ship unless specified and didn't see any apparent joking or vibes. Maybe it's me being non-neurotypical. I've blocked the artist so as not to upset them by reblogging their work when I do not share in their ship-bubble. In any case, it was tame and falls into my SFW - "sometimes I'll reblog a ship art" rule on my pin. But, I am left if I am wondering if qualify as an "anti" in this fandom's specific measure of the term? I do not like Plantcest. I like them as brothers. I am willing to see "Plantcest as one-sided" in terms of Knives being kind of twisted up inside, but I'm not into Knives and Vash as mutual ship at all. I just get an "ew!" reaction to it. I can talk about my own personal issues regarding incest ships, but I won't. Sometimes things just don't float your boat. Does that make me an "anti-Plantcest" person? But what if I don't believe in harassing anyone or making a big deal of it? What if I don't want to make big fandom essays about everything that's "wrong" with it because I honestly just don't care? My reaction is merely personal and the only essays I have are rants about how I think sex-stuff in this fandom in general is too abundant and I'd like to find more gen? I don't think that Plantcest people are "wrong" or "bad" or that it's "a bad ship" - I just don't personally like it. Does this mean I'm not an "anti" then, because I am chill? I am wondering about the definition here just because, well, coming out of Spop fandom, the antis for any given ship (or individual character) were...very anti. As in, essays about "why this ship is wrong and why the people who ship it are freaks," or "why shipping adjacent het ship puts lesbians back" or "why only shipping the main w/w is bisexual erasure" and blah, blah, blah, along with essays about "liking this character means that you agree with his/hers/their bad morals means you support colonial ideas / are an abuse-apologist," etc. And pro-character / shippers for specific ship and the "antis" used to have anon-ask wars and make anti-memes and it was a whole thing. Thank Rem I haven't seen that in the Trigun fandom (yet). By that definition, I don't consider myself an "anti" because I'm like "ship what you want, knock yourself out" - but I wonder I might be defined as an anti because I am also like "I don't ship it and let's stay on our own sides of the playground."

[anti-dazai-blog]

how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.

Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.

okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭

I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.

I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai. 

(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)

One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant. 

Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.

I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”

I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!” 

That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.

Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions. 

My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.

As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them. 

Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.

If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point. 

Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.

(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)

Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting. 

[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]

[kithtaehyung]

Just saw that ask about 3tan Yoongi and how he is not feel like real life Yoongi to that anon..

I am not sure of course about others, but I can defo tell you from the bottom of my heart that one of the major reason why I tremendously love 3tan is how real I can feel all the characters. Of course we do not know for real how Yoongi would react in situations but in my perspective, 3tan Yoongi is really someone who most of the time do the thing I would expect from real life Yoongi. 💕 Also it is a fanfic of course everything is the assumption and creativity of the writer, and you are one of a kind Ryen! ☝🏼

It is natural that the characters would not feel like the real deal for everyone but it is also not the purpose of most cases when writing fanfics. So I do not think it is great to call out someone because of that.. (no hate to that anon but was a bit insensitive from them)

Still, reading 3tan, out of all the fanfics I’ve ever came across feels the more realistic when it portrays Yoongi. Also he is someome (3tan Yoongi) people can sympathize and resonate with alongside Reader and many other fantastic characters you created! 💕

End of my rant 😂 that ask really made me protective after your tags as 3tan is really my comfort fic and you are my comfort write💕

-🦔

hedgehog you are way too nice😭😭 not me about to sob at my desk!! you didn’t have to do this🥺

ngl that question had me wondering if i felt bad for feeling a certain way about it flsdlsld but it’s because of what you said. like the purpose of 3tan isn’t to put irl yoongi on the page, it’s a universe you can lose yourself in and find comfort in and resonate with these people just navigating life. if people also happen to feel like he’s like yoongi then that adds a whole awesome layer to it, and if not, it’s a fanfic and every character is meant to be their own person :’))

also idk when they entered the fandom but if they’re a super new army i can see why they wouldn’t think he’s characterized well🤣 he’s so matured and happy and content right now so yeah, seeing only that and then reading 3tan, it would be jarring lmao

in any case, i don’t think it’s kind to approach writers like that and say it’s not hate, since it still undercuts a lot of work. writers take so much time to craft their characters and, idk about anyone else, but 3tan is very, very intentional with the way it’s written. and they didn’t mention anything about 3tan yoongi’s emotional intelligence, patience, understanding, protectiveness, encouraging mindset, hobbies, struggle, flaws, mental storm, or journey. just that he’s hot😭

i’ll just delete those moving forward and try not to be sad haha. and if anyone out there is thinking about sending asks, if you have to write “it’s not hate/but no hate” then it’s probably best to not say anything and move on.

[asongofstarkandtargaryen]

Idk how old your post/rblog is and i have a rant sorry you're the receiver. I used to love Jonsa crackship years ago before the show "hints" and like the amount of people shipping it has ruined it for me tbh.

And in general, idk if in my lack of tumblr use for like 5 years, everyone "grew out of tumblr' and left cause i've come back and :( it's ship wars and character wars and at least who i followed (all 4+years since they last blogged) even when they disliked a character they never just IGNORED characteristics and stuff. Like Catelyn and Sansa were always victims of misogynistic takes but at least people weren't utterly praying for their demise like i see now.

besides like Euron and the Mountain and like Ramsay and Roose, it's hard not to see the good AND the bad of every character, male or female, that's sorta the point of the series..... like even Jaime "throw a kid out the window" Lannister has a whole ass redemption arc (and my personal theory will still die despite growth!) like ughhh

sorry to rant, but like I feel like I can't follow any asoiaf blog that isn't casual rblogs cause everyone is so PRESSED in trying to up their faves that they destroy others in the process.... how is this fun for anyone???? do you like the media you are consuming????

you can just delete this i'm just tired.

I respect your fandom experience but I have a different one. I wasn't always on Tumblr but I've been a fan of asoiaf books even before the show started airing and I don't agree that things were better in the past. Dudebros on reddit (and on other platforms) always considered Catelyn and Sansa the worst characters ever simply because they found them boring. But I also remember fans making fun of the trauma Jon Snow has thanks to his stepmother, calling him whinny and saying that he should be grateful he didn't have it worse. Long before Jon//sa, I remember Sansa and San//san fans taking elements from Arya's and other Starks' stories to give to their favourite character/pairing. And then I also remember the Dark! Dany and Political! Jon theories rising. So yeah, fandom always had awful takes.

On the other hand, I've read some great meta from various fans other the years, seen some beautiful edits and art, read good fanfictions and even make some friends. So, I'm not going to say that everything about the asoiaf fandom is awful because that would untrue.

I don't post/reblog of mine triggered your ask but I guess that's what matter the least. The most important is how we should all curate our own fandom experience. My advice to anyone who might read this is to block tags of stuff that trigger/irritate you, block blogs that annoy you ( or simply post about your disliked characters/ships) and follow people whose content you enjoy.

[melancholic-hues]

spectators of this dance

posted on AO3

kafblade week 2024: prompt - to build a home

fandom - honkai: star rail

rating - general audiences

warning - no warnings apply

category - f/m ; gen

pairings - blade/kafka ; blade & kafka & sam & silver wolf

tags - kafblade week 2024 ; out of character ; maybe? ; stellaron hunters as found family

word count - 2485 words

-

Silver Wolf does not like beating around the bush. That is an established fact, and her bluntness is often commented on by her fellow Stellaron Hunters. Namely Kafka, sometimes Blade. Sam just notes how blunt she’s being, stating them as facts that are just as true as the universe is vast and not really holding much personal opinion behind them.

But, you know who is beating around the bush? Like, a whole lot? Like, enough to get on her nerves? Nothing gets on her nerves more than Herta’s puppets and that damn Screwllum robot. Yes, she is still salty for the deletion of her game accounts.

Kafka and Blade. They are beating around the bush.

She swears to all the Aeons out there, it can’t be a coincidence how many times those two get assigned to the same missions more often than she can count. Elio literally has to be in on the trickery here. She simply refuses to believe it’s all “destiny” and “it’s what the script says” out there.

Anyway. Back to these two lovebirds.

Silver Wolf flicks her gaze to Kafka from her game console then back to her game. Kafka and Blade just got back from a mission. Well, Kafka did purposefully prolong their mission to go to a night market with Blade. Kafka is telling her all about it now.

For someone as collected and calm on the outside, Kafka is a legit mess of a woman on the inside. Silver Wolf found it funny at first; how sappy and cheesy with love the other Hunter can get when it comes to romance. Personally, she cannot relate.

Kafka hugs Silver Wolf’s pillow and sits up on her bed, legs crossed. The woman had taken off her work clothes and immediately came to Silver Wolf’s room to rant about whatever it was she was going through on Earth.

The three million something (a huge exaggeration) shopping bags sitting at the edge of her bed says a lot. Two of which are sitting on Silver Wolf’s desk filled with various games and posters and figurines.

“Wolfie,” Kafka says. “He took all of these bags from me without asking.”

“And it must’ve clipped off his arm from all the weight,” Silver Wolf drawls, hoping to drench her words in as much disdain and boredom as possible. She needs to focus on her game and not someone’s personal, love-related problems.

“Bladie’s strong enough to carry everything on one arm,” Kafka brushes her remark off like it’s nothing. “He carries all of your packages for you, no?”

Silver Wolf shrugs, her brows furrowed and lips downturned. He does, whenever she manages to convince him to go to the nearest video game store. They usually end up spending a few hundred, sometimes a couple thousand, credits at these stores. Blade always pays for her, even though she can very well hack some credits into existence.

“Except when Sam’s around,” Silver Wolf says instead.

Kafka is unfazed. Again. Nothing can stop this woman when she’s In The Zone like this. Though Silver Wolf isn’t sure what particularly causes her to be In The Zone. “He took them! Without asking! Sometimes directly from the shop owner’s hands! Wolfie, that is another level of manners, do you understand?”

And Kafka still persists that their relationship is purely professional, and that they are friends. Which is, Silver Wolf will give her credit for that, better than saying co-workers. But. Still. Still, still, still.

“And then, then, we went to this little trinket stand. I bought this — ” Kafka holds up a keychain with two cats and some cute snack accessories attached — “For him. It came in a pair of two. I also got him this little crystal statue of spiders, since you said how spiders are my entire theme. The woman at the stand eyed Bladie and assumed he would be the one paying. I didn’t want Bladie to feel pressured about it, you know?”

Kafka drones on and on about this, so Silver Wolf just tunes her out to focus on her game instead. It’s shocking how she can act so sly and threatening just by standing still but be this complete chatterbox (from what Silver Wolf has gathered, all of this chatting is exclusive to her only, which, why). It’s annoying, that’s what.

“When I turned back from the fireworks,” Kafka rambles, “He was there. All of the bags in one arm. A vinyl and a box of chocolates in the other. Wolfie. Are you hearing this right now?”

The round ends, and she is given a few seconds of intermission. “Yes, yes, yes, I am hearing all of this, okay?” Silver Wolf groans, throwing her head back in her gaming chair and arms splayed on the armrests. She is careful not to drop her expensive gaming console onto her carpeted floor. Console screens are crazy fragile these days.

“I was just saying,” the other clasps her gloved hands together, “He gave me ‘Interstellar Journey.’”

Silver Wolf shuts her game console out of shock. “What?”

“I know !” Kafka makes a noise that’s awfully similar to a squeal with the vinyl and box of chocolates in her lap. She hands the vinyl oh so carefully to Silver Wolf. “He left me to get chocolates and to find me ‘Interstellar Journey’! The only copy in the little tent! Isn’t that so wonderful of him, Wolfie ~”

Silver Wolf’s initial shock dies down, her hands pinching the sides of the vinyl. Does — does Kafka know that isn’t platonic? Or is she aware and is just avoiding facing the real issue? What is she even so afraid of? What? 

She stares at Kafka, dumbfounded. “What.”

“He’s a great person, you know. Underneath all that coldness, he’s actually quite shy and awkward,” Kafka continues, opening the box of chocolates. The box is quite ordinary: pink cardboard with plastic inside to separate the different types of chocolate. There are chocolates varying in color, shapes, and sizes; a piece of paper the size of the cover falls out with images and descriptions of each chocolate.

“Where did he find the vinyl?” Silver Wolf asks, nudging her hovering gaming chair closer to Kafka to take a look at the vinyl. She isn’t that interested in the song or the vinyl; she’s just curious as to how exactly Blade got his hands on a physical copy of it. Even she isn’t able to hack it into existence because of how limited it is outside of Earth; yet, he is able to just, like, grab it in a local night market? No way.

“On the floor,” Kafka reveals.

“On the floor,” Silver Wolf deadpans, her brows raised in an “are you serious?” manner.

“I know! How did we not see that, no idea. But! And then I held his hand!” Kafka’s eyes gleam in the hazy glow of Silver Wolf’s neon light signs hung all over her room.

Wait, what? Wait. Silver Wolf waves both her hands, sitting up in her gaming chair. “You held his hand?” she splutters. What in the name of IX? What in the name of Nanook? What in the name of Destiny’s Slave, as cryptic as they are?

“He was so gentle. A weapon, Wolfie, think about it. A man who has turned himself into nothing more than a blade, who’s fights are such a pleasure to watch, holding your hand like it’s a fragile porcelain doll. Do you understand, Wolfie?” Kafka chats, completely unaware of Silver Wolf’s comments.

She lays down on Silver Wolf’s mattress, the back of her hand resting on her forehead, letting out a dreamy sigh. Silver Wolf gags. Kafka turns her head to look at her, a smug smile on her bold red lips.

“Please never talk about this again,” Silver Wolf says, hoping she conveys enough disgust and disdain and agony. To her, this is like seeing two people kiss, except there aren’t two people, and the two people are playing this bo-o-oring game of will-they-won’t-they.

Kafka doesn’t listen. She starts droning on about Blade holding her hand back and datamines the Aeons out of that small action. Seriously, it’s not that deep. He obviously likes Kafka. Kafka obviously likes him back. 

Silver Wolf doesn’t tell them though. No matter how annoying it is. Let them find out for themselves. From personal experience, they are both extremely, annoyingly stubborn, and she, frankly, does not want to lose a limb from trying to convince either of them to confess. Haven’t tried the latter one before. Not planning to.

Kafka pops a chocolate in her mouth. “And it’s delicious too ~ What a gentleman with taste.” The other is so deep in denial that she’s drowning in it. It’s almost stupid, how ridiculous it is.

“Kafka — ”

“Wolfie, do you know the possibilities behind him buying me chocolates?”

SIlver Wolf’s eye twitches so violently she has to press on it to stop.

“Kafka.”

“He actually listens to me, Wolfie. Wolfie, whatever shall I do about this — ”

“SHUT UP, KAFKA.”

***

Sam’s internal engines tick, and he patiently sits on the couch, reading a book. He acutely senses heat traveling through the bundle of wires and such forces he is made up of, emitting a low, faint buzz if one is to listen close enough.

Kafka and Blade have returned from a mission on this Earth planet approximately four system hours ago. It only took them twenty minutes to report back to Destiny’s slave.

Now, Kafka and Silver Wolf are most likely, with an eighty-percent accuracy, in Silver Wolf’s room. This is a common pattern for Kafka, and the probability only gets significantly higher when she returns with shopping bags, unless Silver Wolf is annoyed or really anticipates downloading and playing any new games she bought.

Speaking of shopping bags, the two had returned with Blade carrying quite a lot of them. Sam had scanned the two over for any injuries, then the bags for any suspicious material. There were none, mostly filled with clothes and more items for the entire group, and the two were free to continue to Elio.

Sam scans the page of the current Earthian novel — Twilight , the cover reads — he is reading. The two bags with the rest of the novels Kafka has bought for him are leaning against a leg of the coffee table in the center of their common room. The writing quality is in no way professional, and he will go as far to say it is subpar. The characters are terribly written, all “toxic” by human standards. But it’s captivating, and that’s the bare string that’s keeping him engaged.

Blade shifts in his spot, again, on the couch opposite to Sam’s. Sam looks up from his book. The immortal has been like this ever since he settled on the couch to meditate. Blade often meditates whenever he and Sam are alone or in the privacy of his own room. Today, though, he is not at all calm.

Sam closes his book, the sound of the book snapping shut alerting Blade instantly. The man’s eyes crack open, red eyes staring at him with his head slightly tilted in question.

“There is something abnormal about your behavior, Blade,” Sam speaks, voice gruff in the usual automaton manner. His statement is true — Blade can go for hours without moving once he is at peace. The longest he has gone without moving is fifty-three system minutes. Not even an hour.

“It… is the fireworks,” Blade explains, “From Earth.”

“It is not just the fireworks. Your hormones are mixed, and your blood vessels in the head area are widened. You are either flustered or embarrassed, or a combination of both,” Sam states, scanning Blade twice over for any signs of mara activity or other eccentric internal behavior. “I have not missed any internal wounds, and even if there are any, they should’ve healed by now. What is wrong?”

Blade’s hands reach up to touch his neck, ears, then cheeks. These areas are all mildly red. “Nothing.”

“False.”

“It’s something foolish. I will get over it,” Blade says, eyes fluttering closed again. But Sam is not yet done with the conversation. Blade is rarely flustered; something drastic must’ve happened. Sam is concerned.

Sam continues to stare at Blade. He sees it: a new accessory, far too colorful to complete the rest of Blade’s usual oriental-style outfit. Two cats, each with a flower-shaped cake covering as a hat, hanging off a keychain clipped onto the left chest area of Blade’s clothing, amongst other acrylic sweets charms. That is all.

Blade brows dip, and he slowly opens his eyes again, frowning. The man follows Sam’s gaze before the automaton can pull it away, and his eyes briefly widen.

“Is that from Kafka?” Sam asks.

“Yes,” Blade admits, and he turns more red. That’s his answer; his investigation is complete.

Sam is not typically one to dredge into other peoples’ business. He does not care about this situation either. He leaves it at that. Flipping open his book, he continues on the page he left off on.

After a while, with Blade getting distracted several times, the man opens his eyes again and stands. Sam’s gaze flickers to him, then back to his book.

“Sam,” Blade calls, body turned away from him and avoiding eye contact.

Sam looks at him. “Yes?”

“Does… does Kafka like chocolate?”

Sam looks down at the floor, sifting through all of the data in his memory storage. He is still as he searches for any relevant information regarding Blade’s request.

“Mmm ~ Wolfie, these chocolates are good ~ ”

“I know, my favorite.”

“These are marvelous in flavor. I love chocolates. Have you heard of — ”

Sam finishes replaying the recording, his voice mimication system impeccable. 

Blade tightly nods. “Thank you.”

“Your heart rate spikes whenever Kafka is mentioned,” Sam notes when Blade is almost out of earshot.

The man pauses in his step, then strives forward like he heard nothing.

Sam knows.

***

“Have you noticed Blade and Kafka, recently?” Silver Wolf mentions out of nowhere, sliding down the armrest of the sofa as her fingers nimbly toys with the joysticks on the console. Her bubblegum pops, and her chewing is atrociously obnoxious.

Sam employs his characters’ ultimate before responding, “What about them?” He scans the television set and the game mechanics, carefully calculating his next moves for maximum efficiency and damage output.

“Haven’t you noticed how different they kind of… act around each other?” Silver Wolf’s brows furrow. “Kill that! Come on!” She groans, dragging it out.

“You used two fire characters against another fire-type enemy, and I was preoccupied with the other enemies. Perhaps think about your character choices before urging me to save you,” Sam replies, trained on the game.

“I think… hey, you haven’t answered my question,” Silver Wolf rolls around, laying on her stomach. “Have you?”

“Yes.”

“We should do something about it.”

“Do what, exactly?”

Silver Wolf grins.

[nefertittythegreat]

FELLOW FAN OF SYLVESTER HELLO

OMG HIIII Another Sylvester fan🩷🩷🩷 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Bestie, dont worry I did get your other ask. I’m working on it! Tumblr however decided to delete everything i wrote and the submission itself smdh🤦🏽‍♀️ Im gonna retype it and I’ll tag you when I make the post but if you wanna resend your ask so i can post under it that would gucci too😉 but its gonna be long💀. I hope you wanted a whole character breakdown about Syl lol sorry i could talk about him and Ferdinand for hours.

I’m actually so glad you asked about Sylvester because he’s been on my mind for months. I had half of a essay written about him already so now you’re just gonna get all of it mostly because I think he deserves to be talked about. He’s so good!! and I think he’s more complicated than people give him credit for. Sure not as complicated as Ferdinand but who is?

I’m also sorry if these messages have been in my inbox for a while. Tumblr just let me see them and I’m sure you know how it is here on this garbage fire of a website.

Thanks for giving me something rant about though! You’re like my favorite person🩷🩷🩷

[mishkakagehishka]

Honestly, the moment they started putting triggering content in the main tag, I lost all sympathy I had for them. At this point, it's noone's fault but their own if they get shitty anons. Guess what I'm trying to say is, while I kinda get why you'd feel bad, I definitely don't see you being at fault here.

Also, from what I've seen, most anons they're getting are just asking for them to stop putting that stuff in the main tag or suggesting a break from Tumblr for their own mental health? I honestly haven't seen much harassment at all, just people either trying to help them/others or just expressing frustration with the whole situation. Or asking them to stop playing victim when they're potentially exposing vulnerable people to stuff that could make them spiral. Sigh.

Anyways, sorry for the rant, the whole situation honestly baffles me to the point where I'm just sitting here, scratching my head, trying to make sense of it. Either way, I really hope you're doing well. Still Korka loving hours btw <3 <3 <3

Oh don't apologise for ranting tbh my toxic (mediterranean) trait is that i do like hearing others' thoughts and rants on anything and everything, so it's not a bother to me. I just wish i knew what to tag it with so that others don't have to see this unless they want to;;;

But, yeah, it's just. Not okay to put content you know will trigger people in main fandom tags where anyone could see them. I said, "I don't know what they're going through so I'll have some understanding", but similarly they don't know what others are going through, people who might open the tag just to see their lil blorbos to feel better, and such. And it's foul to make random folks suffer just because I wronged them, when it's highly unlikely they'd have anything to do with me (they're calling me a big blog, Neo calls me a big blog, but I think I only have about a dozen active followers; a majority of mine are likely those who followed me for my writing (i'm so fucking sorry) and have no stakes in this discourse, in fact, they probably have no idea what's even going on, never mind the broader enst fandom)

They've deleted the posts, so I hope they're getting support and such and will be able to realise that they don't have to quit enst bc a handfull of folks in it blocked them.