#i had to make the batter and while i was writing on the zucchinis i only then realized that after shredding the zucchini no one started the

[eudico-my-beloved]

I fucking hate my culinary class table group soooo bad i should be allowed to hit them with carrots i think

[goddesspharo]

Sugar's pregnancy cravings are batshit; luckily, crazy food provides her Bear fam with a perfect distraction from the equally insane task of living life.

[Send me the first sentence and a pairing and I'll write the next five.]

Sugar's pregnancy cravings are batshit, but since everyone else is either an experimental chef or a fucking Fak, only Richie seems to be concerned that there might be a serious nutritional deficiency causing them. Honestly, if Sugar hadn't shown him the sonogram last week when he found her crying in the bathroom over impending motherhood ("Natalie, if I can parent a kid without completely fucking her up, you're going to make it so that your kid overcomes Pete's genes and joins Mensa!"), Richie would've driven her to the hospital to get checked for pica right now in the middle of Sugar's tirade about how far up the ass Richie will have to take it from the health inspector if he tries to explain that they didn't hire professionals because "the mold wasn't that black or moldy."

Richie's not trying to judge a pregnant woman's right to eat whatever she wants. Tiff consumed so many bananas when she was pregnant with Eva that he's still mad at himself for not buying stock in Chiquita. She'd have them sliced with her morning oatmeal, baked into bread as a post-prenatal yoga snack, smashed into PB&B sandwiches for lunch, frozen and dipped in chocolate the weekend the AC crapped out while Fak was in Philly for a Fucking Fak Family Reunion, and once even flambéed when Richie made forgive me for missing the anatomy scan because Mikey was on a bender and about to hurl himself off the State Street Bridge apology dessert. At one point, Richie had to google if banana toxicity was a thing and then kept worrying even after Google said that it wasn't.

But there's a difference between eating tons of fruit and whatever the hell is happening with Sugar's taste buds right now. Richie decides that Carmy and Sydney are using her cravings to soft launch their chaos menu once Syd puts down a plate of pickled zucchini coated in Marcus' leftover birthday cake batter, deep fried in ghee, and dusted with confectioners' sugar.

"Bet that would taste so good dipped in Smuckers ice cream topping," Fak suggests because he doesn't need to be pregnant to have the palate of a garbage compactor.

"Please don't eat that with that," Richie begs when Natalie trades Fak a bottle of Pepto for the jar of fudge he just took out of the microwave.

"Fuck off, Richie," Sugar snaps with a glare that makes it clear that she's not above murdering him and pinning it on pregnancy hormones. "I'm growing a human being inside me!"

Debatable, he wants to say because he's not entirely sure that they're in Juno instead of Alien, but Richie bites his tongue because he really doesn't want to have to put his last twenty-dollar bill in the asshole jar again.

[micaelatubo]

FOOD BLOG

For the rest of you, pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and let’s get at it! So, you write a food blog. First off, virtual high five for that (let’s face it, you’re pretty awesome)! But, back to the topic at hand… Sometimes, no matter how much you love what you do, it can be hard to come up with material. Sometimes you just hit the proverbial wall that is writer’s block, where you find yourself staring at your computer for hours and you just got nothing. Not a single idea.

If life has been kinda ho-hum or I’ve just dry for anything interesting to talk about, then it probably makes the most sense to get started by just writing about the recipe. WhIch is kind of a “duh” moment because we are talking about food blogs. But even though it’s so simple, it can be surprisingly hard. It’s like I sit down, get the recipe in there, have the pictures in place. Now, uh, what do I have to say? Yum. The End.

Well food bloggy friends, this is for you.

CHEESY BEEF QUESADILLAS

I have yet to meet a combination of ground beef and cheese that doesn’t make the people I live with extremely happy.  They are not unusual in that respect, I know, which is why tucked amidst the salad recipes and salmon dishes, I continue to pepper this blog with dishes such as One-Skillet Cheesy Beef and Macaroni and Grilled Cheeseburgers with Herb Sauce.  Really, let’s hear it for ground beef.  And cheese.  And Cheesy Ground Beef Quesadillas.

Only in this case the candy is ground beef and cheese.

And here, tortillas!  But look, also spinach or kale!  A leafy green can help validate/justify a lot of cheese, says me.  A great way to elevate a beef quesadilla.

This is a perfect answer to the perennial “what to do with that ground beef” question.  You can use ground pork or ground turkey instead of ground beef, if you like, as well.

 DEAR SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS

Good pasta will have a chewy texture that has a bounce to it when chewed. These are qualities that you cannot determine until the pasta has been cooked but if the pasta wants to stick in a clump after being cooked or has too soft a texture when chewed, you will want to try a different brand of pasta in the future.

Spaghetti are eaten with many sauces, from the classic ragù to carbonara to fish sauces. They are cooked in boiling water from 8 to 14 minutes (depending on the thickness), then drained and topped with the chosen sauce.

KOREAN CORN DOG

Korean hot dogs are a popular street food from Korea. Hot dogs are coated in batter and deep fried. They are then lightly coated in sugar before finished with condiments of your choice. The sweet and salty combination works surprisingly well. There are also several variations, including a mozzarella dog only filled with cheese (this one is especially popular on social media), and ones that are coated in potatoes or ramen noodles.

Korean corndog is a unique twist on a hot dog prepared by coating a sausage in corn dog batter, dipping it into french fries, then deep-frying the whole thing in oil. The dish is presented skewered on a stick and it is usually consumed on the go.

Hot dog vendors sell them throughout Korea, and there are a few variations, so they can also be wrapped in bacon, mashed potatoes, or seaweed, while tomato ketchup is typically used as the main condiment.

TRADITIONAL FLUFFY JAPANESE SOUFFLE PANCAKES

Japanese take pancakes to new heights. Think cottony clouds of heaven that melt in your mouth! Have you seen Fluffy Japanese Souffle Pancakes (スフレパンケーキ) on social media or maybe even tasted when you visited Japan?

They are fluffy, airy, delicate pancakes that probably look too fancy for a weekday breakfast, but impossible to resist making on the weekend. These pillowy, soft pancakes are a must-try. You can’t miss the fizzy, bubbly sound from the souffle pancakes when you cut them open to enjoy!

Pancakes are comfort food. The happiest comfort food. I’m sure you have many joyful memories of waking up on a Saturday, looking up at a stack of pancakes on your plate. And now as an adult, you are probably like me, always searching and trying different pancake recipes, happily eating your way on a journey to find the perfect pancake.

VEGAN CREAMY BEEF AND SHELLS

Creamy Beef and Shells is a hearty pasta dish that is perfect for a quick dinner for the whole family! It is rich, flavorful, and cheesy and even kids will love it! Creamy Beef and Shells is such a tasty dinner! It is meaty, never dry, and the flavors are awesome! 

The combination of marinara sauce and dairy makes it so yummy. And you get all sorts of savory flavors coming from the aromatics and the different herbs and seasonings.You have protein and carbs in one dish and that makes this hearty and filling. Serve it with a side of veggies, and you get yourself a complete lunch or dinner!

.   CREAMY AND SMOKY RATATOUILLE

Ratatouille – we probably all know the famous movie, but have you tried making it at home? Ratatouille is made with thinly-sliced tomatoes, zucchini and eggplant layered into a casserole dish. The vegetables are topped with an aromatic tomato sauce, then baked until the vegetables are tender. It’s super easy to make and one of the most aromatic and delicious dishes ever! I’ve partnered with Pompian to share my smoky and creamy version of this classic French dish! 1

This vegetarian recipe is great as a side dish, too! Try it along with meaty recipes, such as my ‘Grilled Chimichurri Chicken’ or ‘Lemon Herb Salmon’.

There are a few keys steps to follow to make sure your dish is the best!

Make sure to use the freshest ingredients. I love to use locally grown heirloom tomatoes, sweet yellow zucchini and green squash; and Chinese eggplant, which is more mild in flavor.

Slice all vegetables the same thickness! This is super important so everything bakes evenly. Use an extra-sharp knife or madeline slicer to get the best results.

Be patient! Let the dish bake away while you build up an appetite. Then, let it cool for at least 15 minutes before digging in to enjoy.

I love to enjoy my smoky ratatouille with warm French baguette – it’s perfect for mopping up all that amazing sauce!

 CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER BANANA STUFFED FRENCH TOAST

Peanut butter and bananas is such a classic combination that always tastes good. 

First, chocolate peanut butter. Automatically a leg up on regular peanut butter. You could also use Nutella. Second, rather than just making sandwiches, I made French toast. The bread is slightly crisp on the exterior, soft in the interior, and heating the chocolate peanut butter so it melts slightly is the best idea I’ve had in awhile. 

Peanut butter and bananas is such a classic combination that always tastes good and chocolate peanut butter is automatically a leg up on regular peanut butter. The bread is slightly crisp on the exterior, soft in the interior, and heating the chocolate peanut butter so it slightly melts is the best. If you’re looking for an easy yet decadent comfort food breakfast, brunch, or breakfast-for-dinner recipe, make this. You can scale up the recipe to whatever sized crowd you’re cooking for.

 CHEESY CAULIFLOWER MUSHROOM STEAKS

This cauliflower steak recipe is served with a rich, creamy mushroom and cheese sauce.   A hearty low carb main dish for vegetarians and cauliflower lovers.

If you are a meat eater, don’t run away from this cauliflower steak recipe!   The delicious mushroom sauce would be divine with a steak or chicken. It’s such an easy sauce to make too and can be ready in under 15 minutes.

Used gorgonzola cheese for this cauliflower steak sauce as I wanted a strong cheese to go with the mushrooms and much to my delight it was on special offer at the supermarket that week.  That may have been my real influence, but I’m sticking to the strong cheese story!   Any other blue cheese would work just as well with this sauce.  

Sour cream was used for the sauce as it has a creamy texture when heated.  If you wanted to use another cream, I would recommend another thick one.  I haven’t tried it, but can’t see why not it would not work.  Add extra cheese for more creaminess perhaps.

[jetgame11-blog]

layered mocha cheesecake

Last Friday at 3 pm, when we had dinner plans at 6, I decided it had been too long since I’d gotten myself into a right mess of a baking project and decided to make my husband a cheesecake for his birthday — which we were already 14 hours into. I’d been dawdling because despite having 11 cheesecake recipes on this site, I find cooking things I’ve already made before boring, and was working up the courage to tackle a harebrained idea for a cheesecake that had thin stacked layers.

[Does Deb have a thing for thin stacked cakes? I don’t know. Judge for yourself.]

[I also decided to share it on Instagram Stories because your comments always crack me up when I’m elbows-deep in my latest terrible idea.]

While most cheesecakes have crumb crusts, I wanted something thinner and more sturdy for stacking purposes, so I made wafer cookies, hoping to press the dough raw into thin layers to line the pans. It didn’t work (they just couldn’t be stretched enough with fingertips) so I rolled them out between two sheets of parchment (as we do here), froze them for 5 minutes so they’d be firm, and then lined the baking pans with them. It’s definitely an annoying step but I figured I wasn’t going to write up this recipe (because it was going to flop) so I only had my own complaining (which was significant) to deal with.

From there, however, things went surprisingly smoothly. While the wafer crusts baked, I made the cheesecake base I like so much here, divided the batter, mixed melted chocolate into one, instant espresso into the other, baked them quickly, (bakers who care about technique, cover your ears) shoved them into the freezer to cool them down really fast because it was like 5pm by now and then carved up and stacked and trimmed the layers and then whoa. I mean, I didn’t think the cake was going to taste terrible or anything (see also: cheesecake, buttery wafer cookies, chocolate, coffee) but I didn’t think it was going to be so ridiculously handsome. How fitting (aw).

As this site approaches its 14th (!) year of churning out wordy, full-color food content, I want to tell you something. Every on-a-whim kitchen experiment only goes one of two ways: it’s either heavily photographed and well-documented and ends up being a bomb, or I take no photos or photos and it turns out a freak favorite. This was the latter. So, this week, I made this entire crazy cake again and took pictures and wrote it down. For you. No seriously, come pick it up. We are way over our cheesecake quota for the month and it’s just not safe for it — or us — here.

Previously

One year ago: Fried Rice with Zucchini, Tomatoes and Parmesan Two years ago: Chile-Lime Melon Salad and Chocolate Peanut Butter Icebox Cake Three years ago: Frozen Hot Chocolate Four years ago: Cold Noodles with Miso, Lime, and Ginger, Apricot Pistachio Squares and Raspberry Swirl Cheesecake Five years ago: Strawberry Lime and Black Pepper Popsicles and Kale Salad with Pecorino and Walnuts Six years ago: My Favorite Brownies Seven years ago: Hazelnut Plum Crumb Tart Eight years ago: Everyday Chocolate Cake, Zucchini and Almond Pasta Salad and Raspberry Limeade Slushies Nine years ago: Asparagus with Chorizo and Croutons, Sour Cherry Slab Pie and Cantaloupe Salsa Ten years ago: Blueberry Crumb Bars, Napa Cabbage Salad with Buttermilk Dressing, Key Lime Meltaways and Grilled Eggplant with Caponata Salsa Eleven years ago: Brownie Mosaic Cheesecake

And for the other side of the world: Six Months Ago: Korean Braised Short Ribs 1.5 Years Ago: Small Batch Tiramisu 2.5 Years Ago: Miso Black Sesame Caramel Corn and Hot and Sour Soup 3.5 Years Ago: Chocolate Oat Crumble and Oven-Braised Beef with Tomatoes and Garlic 4.5 Years Ago: Chocolate Hazelnut Linzer Hearts and Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake

Layered Mocha Cheesecake

Servings: 10

Time: 2 hours if you're super organized

Print

The wafers here are the same we use for this icebox cake. They’re adapted from King Arthur Flour.

Wafers

1 1/2 cups (195 grams) all-purpose flour

1/4 cup (20 grams) Dutch-process cocoa powder

1/4 cup (20 grams) black cocoa powder (just use more Dutched cocoa powder if you don’t have it)

1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon fine sea or table salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup (115 grams) unsalted butter, cold is fine if using a food processor

1 large egg

1 teaspoon (5 ml) vanilla extract

Cheesecake

1 1/2 pounds (3 8-ounce packages) cream cheese, at room temperature

1 cup (200 grams) granulated sugar

4 large eggs

1/4 cup (60 grams) sour cream

1 teaspoon (5 ml) vanilla extract

4 ounces (115 grams) semi- or bittersweet chocolate, chopped, or chips (2/3 cup), (melted and cooled slightly

2 teaspoons instant espresso powder

1 teaspoon molasses

To finish

3 ounces semi- or bittersweet chocolate, chopped, or chips (1/2 cup)

3 to 4 tablespoons (15 to 20 ml) heavy cream

1 tablespoon (15 ml) corn syrup (optional, but makes it glossier)

1 tablespoon black cocoa powder

Gold dragees, if you wish

Prepare pans: Line two 9×13 cake pans or quarter-sheet pans (what I use) with foil. You really don’t want this foil to tear; a trick I like is to press it over the outside of the cake pan first to mold the shape of the foil. Then, when you flip it over and line the inside, it’s easier to press tightly against the walls without tearing. Lightly coat the foil with nonstick cooking spray. Line the bottom of the pan, on top of the foil, with a fitted rectangle of parchment paper. While it’s not absolutely necessary, consider it a layer of security that makes it easier to move your cheesecake layers later.

Heat oven: To 350°F.

Make wafers:

…in food processor: Combine flour, cocoa powders, sugar, salt, and baking powder in the work bowl of food processor, pulsing until mixed. Cut butter into chunks and drop into work bowl; run machine until butter disappears into mixture, which will be powdery. Add egg and vanilla and run machine until the dough begins to clump/ball together.

…with an electric mixer: Beat butter and sugar together until combined. Add egg and vanilla and beat until smooth. Add baking powder, salt and cocoa and beat until combined. Add flour and mix just until it disappears.

Shape wafers: Roll dough between 2 large pieces of parchment paper until very, very thin and roughly the size of a half-sheet pan (13×18 inches). Slide onto board, the back of a baking sheet, or large cutting board (parchment paper and all) and place in freezer for 5 minutes, until firm. Once firm, peel back top piece of parchment paper (it should now come off cleanly, pull it back slowly), then lay it loosely back on the sheet of dough. Flip the sheet over and do the same (gently, slowly peel back the second parchment sheet) until the dough is now loose between them.

You can use the rectangles of parchment from the bottom of your baking pans to give you an idea of the sizes you’ll need for each wafer base, but you basically want to cut the sheet of dough in half. Carefully lift each dough halves into a prepared pan. Patch it where needed so that it fully covers the bottom, pressing it with your fingertips into an even layer, and out to the edges if it fell short. It’s fine if it goes up the sides a little — we’ll trim them after it bakes.

Bake wafers: For 10 minutes — they’ll be mostly, but not fully, baked. [Get started on the cheesecake batter while they bake.] Once the wafers are done, if you have any wafer edges that went up the sides of the pan, gently cut them away, which should be easy when they’re hot, but be careful not to cut through the foil. Leave oven on. Enjoy your wafer snacks.

Make cheesecake batter:

…in a food processor: (Yes, this really works.) Wipe the food processor you used for the wafer layer out so that no crumbs remain. Place sugar, then cream cheeses into the work bowl and blend until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, blending between each, then sour cream and vanilla, blending until smooth. Scrape down bowl and blend another few seconds until smooth.

… with an electric mixer: Beat cream cheese with sugar until fluffy, then beat in eggs, one at a time, until thoroughly mixed, scraping down the sides and bottom of your bowl between each addition. Beat in sour cream and vanilla.

Both methods: Divide cheesecake batter in half, into two bowls. On my scale, each half weighed 565 grams. (I’m sorry I didn’t measure it in cups. Next time!) Slowly drizzle melted chocolate into first half, whisking until fully smooth. Pour batter into first wafer pan — it’s totally fine if it’s still warm/hot from parbaking.

Add espresso powder and molasses (which makes the color magically coffee-like) to the second bowl and whisk until smooth. Pour second half of batter into second prepared pan.

Bake cheesecakes: Bake both pans at the same time, rotating them mid-way because few oven racks are perfectly level, for 15 to 18 minutes, until cheesecake is set but slightly jiggly.

Cool cheesecakes completely: I am always in a rush and let them rest at room temperature on a rack for 5 minutes and then put them in the freezer to quick cool (this takes 15 to 25 minutes, depending on the freezer). You can also cool it over a couple hours in the fridge.

Assemble your layered cheesecake: When cheesecakes are fully cool, carefully pull the foil sling lining the pan onto your counter, taking the cheesecake with it. Gently pull the foil away from the sides of the cheesecakes so that their sides are fully exposed. Next, you want to remove the parchment paper under your coffee cheesecake layer. Use a thin, long offset spatula to run it around under the wafer layer, making sure it isn’t sticking in any places. Slide the parchment paper out carefully. (Usually you would invert your cake layer onto a rack here to remove the parchment, but I don’t think this is a great idea with soft cheesecake!)

Here is the scariest part: Gently begin lifting your coffee cheesecake from the edges with your fingertips until you can slide both hands underneath it, palms up, fingers spread for maximum support. Give it a practice lift up a half-inch, then inch, before taking a deep breath and moving it quickly on top of your chocolate cheesecake layer. The first time, mine broke. I moved the pieces back into place. It was far from perfect but nobody could tell by the time it was assembled.

Dip a sharp serrated knife in hot water — this is the only thing that gives it a passably smooth edge, trust me — and trim the sides of the cheesecake block so that they’re even. Wipe the knife with a towel and dip it again in water between each cut — trust me. Using the same wipe-then-dip knife method every time you cut into this cheesecake, including when you serve it.

Cut your cheesecake block into 3 equal rectangles. Once you’re done trimming, your cheesecake is usually about 7×11 inches and you want to cut it along the longer side, so each third is going to be 3 2/3 inches, but I highly recommend you use a ruler and not eyeball this. Once again, use a thin spatula to carefully separate the bottom layer of the cheesecake block from its parchment paper (you haven’t done this yet for the chocolate layer) before using your hands to lift and stack thirds of the cake into a 6-layer brick-shaped cheesecake. As you’re lifting, if you notice that your cheesecake is thicker on one side than the other (this totally happens due to aforementioned uneven oven racks and is more noticeable because the cake is so thin), simply turn your layer around so that the final stack is relatively flat.

Trim the edges again if needed, so that they are smooth. To smooth them further, I found I could press a piece of parchment paper against each side and gently peel it back (see 12th photo).

To finish: (You’re at the finish line!) Melt chocolate, 3 tablespoons of the cream, and corn syrup together and then whisk until smooth. Whisk in cocoa powder until smooth. I’m using black cocoa here to darken the color of the glaze so it looks better with the cheesecake. You want your final glaze to be thick but pourable. Add the last tablespoon of cream if needed to achieve this. Pour over top of cheesecake and use an spatula to smooth it and also push some over the edges for a drippy effect. Finish with sprinkles and refrigerate until needed.

To serve: Once again, a wet serrated knife makes the cleanest cuts. Thin slices are best because cheesecake is so rich. Leftovers keep in the fridge almost *too* well, heh.

Source: https://smittenkitchen.com/2018/08/layered-mocha-cheesecake/

[thisislizheather]

September Shenanigans 2021

So long, September! I can’t believe it’s finally here. And look, I try not to base my entire personality on the fact that I love this time of year so much but every year it’s getting harder and harder to deny it. There’s just something so electrifying about rainy nights and pumpkins on stoops, I’M SORRY. In any case, here’s what went down in September.

You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

I’ve been using the greatest eyebrow growth serum OF LIFE and wrote a bit about it over here (with photographic proof!).

I recapped what I did from my summer list.

So obviously I had to create an autumn list because this is my life.

New podcast alert!

I made this chocolate zucchini banana cake with coffee frosting for Nathan’s birthday and we both fell in love with it. This will now be the only birthday cake I ever make for him, it’s incredible.

I went to the Italian restaurant Lilia in Brooklyn again because they always have the best focaccia (right now it’s cherry tomato with green garlic butter), so I got that as well as the corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper and pecorino and yes it was good but the pasta definitely lacked some sort of different textual element which would have sent it over the top in deliciousness. Am I being harsh? No. If you’re paying upwards of $20 for one plate of pasta, there has to be standards.

Above Photo: Cherry tomato focaccia with green garlic butter

Above Photo: Corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper & pecorino

I tried the pumpkin cream cold brew at Starbucks (with one pump of vanilla instead of two because they go nuts with their pumps) and it was only okay. Why do people love it so much? The salted caramel one looks good but I can’t bring myself to go back and try it. I have such a hate-hate relationship with Starbucks, so what the hell am I even doing going in there? The last time I brought my laptop in to work in a Starbucks was in 2019 and they played the whole Hamilton soundtrack on a loop TWICE and I almost lost my mind it’s such a terrible album. I feel like an alien for not being mesmerized by Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like… he sucks?

I ate at Forsythia again and it only confirmed its place in my mind as one of the best new restaurants of this past year. I finally tried and loved the short rib agnolotti as well as the pappa al pomodoro, which was like a beautiful tomato tartare, so summery and perfect.

I bought these pajamas from Banana Republic Factory because they’re soft as hell and I haven’t had matching pajamas since… never.

Links I’m Loving:

Okay, this is the cutest autumn sweater on the planet, COME ON.

Untold Horror is “a behind-the-scenes look into development hell to find the most frightening horror movies that never were, from unmade Re-Animator sequels to alternate takes on legendary franchises like Frankenstein and Dracula!” - this sounds like such a great read.

I Never Knew How Golden My Summers Were - a great piece on remembering the best summer of your life.

Creative Ways To Start Your Morning On A Good Note

Halloween Craft Idea For Kids: Pumpkin Stamps with Apples

Reason #214 Never To Get CoolSculpting

Tuesdays at Regal Cinemas are now offering $6.25 movie tickets! This definitely can’t last, so I’m going to make the most of it while it’s offered.

New seasonal candles are finally at Trader Joe’s.

Above Photo: Autumn candles at Trader Joe’s, September 2021

So it’s been established how much I love and support Milk Bar… but the new funnel cake soft serve is truly one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever ingested. Just shockingly gross. If you’re nearby, get a free sample and tell me how right I am.

I went for a late summer walk through Central Park and why don’t I do this once a week.

I can’t get over how beautiful this song is (thanks for introducing it to me, Jessie!), it’s toooo good.

There’s a sale on Aerie underwear right now IF you’re into that sort of thing.

I made a zucchini lasagna that was very good but in no way better than a meat lasagna.

Speaking of zucchini, if you own a deep fryer: please make this zucchini spaghetti or these cider battered chicken fingers and then ask me over.

I took this (free) (actually helpful) intro to SEO class online if you’re interested in that sort of thing.

I made these apple pie bars that are ridiculously easy, fast and incredible. I was feeling ambitious, so I made this quick caramel to pour on top.

I fell down a rabbit hole of researching all of the Broadway theatres in New York and I might get tickets to Girl From The North Country purely to sit inside the gorgeous Belasco Theatre.

Finally had the steak at L’Artusi and it was delicious. Best steak ever? God no, but good. They will, however, hold the title of best steak tartare in all of NYC though.

Above Photo: The steak at L’Artusi in the West Village

Above Photo: The best steak tartare in NYC at L’Artusi

New things I’ve watched and rewatched:

Searching For Italy: so, so great. I already wanted to travel around Italy and eat everything so watching this was a delight. It’s also just so enjoyable to watch people who love their jobs. The Tuscany episode was my favourite one, mostly because I love any and all panzanella talk.

I attempted to watch Basic Instinct but I was in a very specific mood and had to turn it off after the rape scene. Nah thanks.

Never Have I Ever (season two): Love that Common is in it, hoping he becomes a regular. I can’t stand the way the writers write the teen dialogue, it’s so cringeworthy, but if you can get past that it’s an absolutely okay show. That scene in episode nine with her & Paxton when he comes in from window? Shiiiiit.

Broken: it’s an episode about makeup and the lesson? Watch out for counterfeit cosmetics. Got it.

The X-Files (The Squeeze episode): Someone told me to watch this one because it’s supposed to be scary, but it wasn’t anything special. A waaay better episode is Pusher. Watch THAT one.

The Witches of Eastwick: How the hell have I never seen this before? So many parts are good. Would definitely rewatch. I’ll never get over how gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer is. Just maddening.

Scanners: boooooooooo. They shouldn’t make the cover look so good, it’s terrible.

Nightmare on Elm Street: Really holds up well. Always love it.

I’m rewatching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and kind of loving every minute of it. The episode where she becomes addicted to pancakes? A gem.

Was Dharma & Greg, like, a great show? I never cared about it at the time because I think I was too young to get into it but I just watched their Halloween episode and it was so good. Might look into this further.

Awkwafina is Nora From Queens (season two): With the exception of the blackout episode and the extremely hot cameo from original Reggie (Ross Butler), this season has really sucked. And this is insane to me because I loved the first season, what the hell?

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I created an autumn highlight on my Instagram incase you care to see the fun things I’m planning on doing this month, excited to read Stanley Tucci’s new book, definitely going to make these pumpkin scones with a maple glaze, I will likely buy something from this year’s Halloween Lush collection, I’m gonna do a post about my recent trip to Salem (!), and I’m in the final stages of costume planning. God, I love this month.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in August, come on over here.

[owl-quill]

Anybody remember the ficlet I wrote for Strange Magic Week last year that involved Bog catching Sunny while Sunny was stealing Bog’s tomatoes? And which I started rewriting in March?

Here’s part two.

Bog started at the sound of keys in the front door. Right, his mother had given Aura a spare key. At least she had the decency to call out “Bog, the doctor’s here!” before stepping inside.

Thang took up barking and snarling, at the same time wagging his tail. Stuff padded up to the visitor quietly to sniff her legs, and the battered black case she was carrying.

“Hi kids!” said Aura. “Causing trouble, are you?”

“Thanks for coming,” Bog greeted her. She was wearing bright turquoise eye shadow that matched her dress. And her hair. Given that as far as he knew she was about of an age with his mother, it seemed an odd choice, but well, it was very Aura.

“Oh, I really can’t miss having you owe me a favour.” She ignored Bog’s small unhappy sound. “Where’s the patient?” She held the battered doctors’ bag up. It looked utterly out of place with her partygoing outfit.

“In the kitchen.” He held the door for her, and slipped through behind her quickly enough to close it before the dogs could follow. “Do you want a drink?”

“Not before work. Let’s see what we got.”

She walked over to the obvious container. Bog looked over her shoulder and saw his prisoner had pulled a tangle of chickweed over himself. Bog dared barely breathe, wondering if Aura saw what he saw, or a small animal, or nothing at all.

“My, that’s a shy one.” Aura leaned forward and peered through the side of the terrarium. She did not say something for a few seconds, then gave a bright little “Oh!”

“Oh?”

“Looks like you caught an elf.”

“Elf. Like, small person, pointed ears?”

“Yes!” Aura smiled brightly at him, like a perky primary school teacher happy about a shy student giving a correct answer.

Bog let out a huge sigh and sagged with relief. “Thank god, I thought I might be losing my mind.”

“I’m not really qualified to treat psychotic breaks, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’re weird enough to not deny what you see, no matter how crazy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Yes. And he seems to have been injured and you are qualified to treat creatures that size.” He had seen the hamsters. The photos had gone viral, even.

“And you’ll cover the bill? How nice of you.” Bog snorted, and Plum leaned closer to the elf. “Hi, I’m Doctor Aura Plum. Do you need help?”

Sunny peered up at her through the grated lid, keeping tight hold of the plants he had hidden under. “Um.” He peered at Bog.

Bog got himself a glass of water. “I’ll leave you alone with your patient. Don’t let him get away, though, I still want to talk to him about vegetable rustling.”

“Okay.” While carefully prying the lid off the terrarium, she said to Sunny in a conversational manner, “You know, my keys and socks keep mysteriously disappearing. I usually find my keys some weird place, but some of the socks were gone for good. You wouldn’t know anything about that?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Oh, pity. It’s nice having a patient who can answer for a change, though. So, where does it hurt?”

Bog left them to their chatter and went out onto the back porch for a bit of fresh air, the dogs on his heels. The glass Bog had grabbed was a branded beer glass, and he examined it carefully. The writing on and around the brewery crest was perfectly legible, and between that and seeing colour, he was nearly completely sure he wasn’t dreaming. He was running out of ideas what else could make him see things that weren’t happening, so this seemed to be actual reality. He braced one hand on the porch railing and looked out into the garden. Everything seemed exactly as he left it. No sign of other elves or gnomes or goblins or whatever. The borage was abuzz with bees even in the lessening light, and there were more gnats and mosquitos and small, brown moths around than he cared to try to identify.

A flash of vivid colour caught his eye. Deep blue, almost purple wings. Could that be a morpho? He wasn’t entirely sure about their range, but had been under the impression it fell under the general heading of “not here”. He squinted as it stopped fluttering around almost in the bushes at the back of the garden and instead flew straight towards him. Not a morpho, the body was too brightly coloured. A drawn-out yell startled his brain into readjusting itself and the “butterfly” came into focus as a fairy, coming at him with a battle cry, sword raised for a strike.

Bog reflexively raised a hand to block, and hissed in pain when that got him a cut on its back.

The fairy circled back, her flight now as hard to follow as any butterfly’s. Thang barked and jumped, trying to catch the fluttering intruder, but she kept high enough to keep out of range.

At the next attack, Bog threw the remaining water at her, but she dodged upwards and kept coming. A hasty retreat had him stumbling over the blasted terrier and falling on his backside, empty glass hitting the deck with a thunk and rolling away.

He had only time to lever himself up on his elbows before he saw someone very, very close.

“You be very careful now, or I’ll take your eye out!”

The fairy had braced one foot on his cheek, the other against his nose, anchoring herself by grabbing a tiny fistful of his eyebrow. Her sword was aimed at his left eye, so close it brushed his lashes when he blinked.

“Whoa.” Bog had to curb an impulse to raise his hands. It could be too easily misunderstood.

Thang kept barking, but Bog had taught him to not jump on him without permission. Stuff came up and made as to sniff the fairy, but shrank back when the little thing snarled at her.

“What did you do to Sunny?” The fairy had an amazing glare for her size. The dark probably-makeup helped her light brown eyes stand out, and the way she thrust her jaw forward and bared her teeth was downright savage.

“He was injured, I think not seriously. He’s inside.”

She let go and flew off, straight through the door and into the house, calling the elf’s name.

Bog levered himself up and absently patted Stuff. So that had happened, too.

A louder scream sounded from the kitchen.

Shit. “Aura!”

“She’s okay, she was helping me!” he heard Sunny’s voice on the way running to the kitchen.

Bog grabbed a frying pan off the wall. The fairy stood on the kitchen island, between Sunny and Aura, in a defensive pose, but faced Bog, considering him obviously the greater threat. He held the frying pan off to the side at waist level, just to have it ready in case she came at him again.

“I’ve had it. You steal from my garden, attack me, come into my house uninvited and menace my guest! Where the hell do you get the nerve?!”

The fairy flinched, and a quirk of her expression made Bog think that it was not just his volume, but that guilt was involved. However, she gathered herself to an approximation of righteous indignation.

“I was worried you were planning to feed Sunny to your beasts!” She gestured with her sword at the door. The dogs were not in sight. Them missing made Bog feel a little guilty, too; his yelling in all likelihood scared them.

“They are dogs. And they’re really sweet.” Aura offered from where she stood, leaning back against the edge of the counter top. As an afterthought she added, dipping her chin in an acknowledging nod, “Though I guess at your size they might be alarming.”

Bog snorted. “All I want is for him and you and all your friends to leave your grubby paws off my tomatoes.”

“Ah. I guess we have to apologise.” The fairy straightened up from her battle-ready crouch and after a moment’s hesitation put her sword back in her belt. “Usually if we take anything it’s so little nobody notices, but we had a bad harvest this year…”

Bog scoffed, but lowered his improvised weapon, too. “That’s what he said, too.”

“Excuse me, can I finish that bandage now? Thank you.” Aura returned to her patient.

Bog ignored her while the fairy turned her head. “Your story would sound more believable if you had concentrated on things that kept well, rather than tomatoes.”

The fairy turned back to him, with a tiny frown on her tiny face. It lifted after a second and she said, “Oh, we can preserve plant material pretty well.” She tugged on the edge of her tunic, which did look like it might be made from flower petals, veined pink edged with green. “It’s mostly a size issue - a lot of things humans grow are too big for us to transport.”

“Yeah, right, fine. Never mind I raised everything out there from seeds, I water and weed it and pluck off those goddamned slugs, and you folks walk in and take whatever’s convenient.” Bog snarled. “The least you could do is take some zucchini.”

Sunny piped up defensively, “We didn’t take any of those!”

“Yeah! That’s the problem!”

“What?”

The fairy raised a hand. “Soo… are we negotiating?”

“Oh, why not. I’m willing to. Do you have authority to negotiate?”

She actually curtsied, lifting an imaginary longer skirt she wasn’t wearing. “I’m Marianne, Crown Princess of the Fair Fields.” Her grin looked more impish than royal, which was just as well. “And my father will gladly accept any zucchini you might want to get rid of.”

“A fairy princess!” Aura clapped her hands. “That’s delightful!”

“Seriously?” Bog’s voice was flat.

Marianne apparently felt he was addressing her, not entirely insensibly, seeing how he was still staring at her. “Well, not any that are already rotten. And big ones would be a problem to transport.”

Bog nodded, closing his eyes, and finally put the frying pan back in its place.

Aura asked her patient, “How’s the bandage? Not too tight?”

“Perfect. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Bog suggested they move over to the breakfast nook and, in a reflex that his mother had trained into him, asked if anybody wanted something to drink. Sunny was still too nervous to ask for anything, Aura asked for water.

And the fairy, Marianne, Bog reminded himself, asked, “You got any beer?”

He nodded, befuddled, and told Aura, “If you stick around here now I expect to not get a bill, understood?”

“Deal!” She smiled brightly.

Great, so he had offered drinks to a fairy before thinking if he had anything she could drink out of. Shot glasses were too big, in relation to her looking more like big buckets. Checking the medicine cabinet produced a measuring cup from an over the counter cough syrup that seemed more suitable. It would be like drinking out of a vase or a pitcher, but it was the best Bog could do. He poured himself half a glass of beer first, then filled the little cup, over the sink because, as he’d expected, it overflowed. The carbonation was a problem. He wiped off the spillover and carried both glasses over to the breakfast nook, where Aura had again started with her theory that fae folk were messing with her belongings. She was showing the fairy princess something on her smartphone.

Marianne was saying, “Let’s see, I know that park, and your place is three blocks over… No, I don’t think anyone from our neck of the woods is behind that. It’s too far from any place where we can cross over.”

“Aww,” went Aura. Bog had no clue if she naturally and un-self-consciously acted like a little girl sometimes, or if it was a show she put on. Right now, he ignored it, just in case it was the latter, and added the two glasses for himself and Marianne to the table.

“So, negotiations?”

“Yup.” But first Marianne sat down on the table and took a deep draught from her cup, wiping her lips afterwards. She seemed to like it. “All right, so. What we want is food to get through the winter.”

“I don’t mind sharing the harvest of kohlrabi, carrots, and onions, but I want my remaining tomatoes off limits.”

Marianne nodded.

“The zucchini produce more than I can give away. I can harvest them when they are about this big”–he held his hands about four inches apart–”does that seem transportable to you?”

Marianne fielded the question to Sunny with a look. “Yeah, if we don’t have to hide from you, that’s no problem at all.”

“Good, and you can have all the apples you want. I have no clue just how much apple sauce is in jars in the cellar, but it’s plenty.”

“Don’t forget the gooseberries and apricots,” Aura threw in.

“Oh, right. Not a good year for apricots, but what’s there, I don’t really need, either. What amount of food are you looking for, anyway? I have no clue how many people you are.”

“I think the apples alone would get us through the winter, though some variety would be nice, if you don’t want to change the offer,” Sunny said, his face having a faraway expression.

“No, it’s all right. I want it understood, though, that if you want anything from my garden in future, it’ll be by agreement, in a trade, not just coming in and taking it.”

“That seems fair,” Marianne said, “If you don’t tell anybody about us.”

“Sure,” Bog agreed with a half shrug. “It’s not like anybody would believe me.”

Aura nodded. “If I tell someone that I think fairies are stealing my socks, they either think I’m joking, or they think I’m deluded.”

“Hah! All right.” Marianne considered for a moment. “So we need to figure out something we can offer in exchange that you’d be interested in.”

“Do you have anything that helps against slugs?”

“Hmm. I might. If you don’t mind troops of goblins coming to hunt in your garden…��

“If they can be trusted to not damage plants, including seedlings. And I should know in advance when they show up, to make sure the dogs are inside. Uh, speaking of, Aura, could I ask you for a favour?”

“Another one?”

“A minor one. Could you make sure Stuff and Thang are inside and close the door? I left it open when I came in.”

Aura gave him a dainty little scoff, but went to do as he’d asked.

Marianne had finished considering. “I guess that should be workable. If they are interested. They are subjects of an allied realm, not my father’s, but as far as I know they consider slugs good eating.”

“Well, there’s time until next spring to figure that out, or something else.”

“No?” Marianne shot to her feet, eyes wide. “We need additional food this winter!”

“Yeah, this year is an exception. Emergency famine relief.”

“You’re just giving all that to us?” Sunny sounded flabberghasted. “And I was worried you’d feed me to the dogs.”

Bog snorted. “I’m not a monster. I just look like one.”

Marianne’s dismissive gesture didn’t quite fit with her grin “Aw, don’t feel bad. You can’t help that humans grow so freakishly tall. At least your face is nice to look at.”

“I think you’re drunk.”

“Not from that small a sip.” She got up smoothly and propped her hands on her hips.

“In that case, keep your mockery to yourself.”

“I’m not mocking you! Your face is all angles. It’s interesting. But okay, if it makes you uncomfortable, let’s drop it.”

“Yeah.” Crazy little creature. But well, if she was friends with goblins… and if he looked closer, she didn’t really look like a miniature human. Too long limbs and fingers, not enough white in her eyes. Maybe she did have weird ideas of aesthetics and had not been mocking him. “Thanks. For dropping it.” Bog cleared his throat and tried to come up with something else to say. “So, anything else you need, or would find useful?”

Sunny raised a hand tentatively. “Ah, sorry, but… Was I imagining things, or did that box smell of mice?”

“I thought I had cleaned it thoroughly…”

“I didn’t think humans keep mice.”

“Some do. I breed ‘em.”

“Well, there might be room for trading to diversify breed lines, then. You don’t breed them for milk, do you?”

“Nah, I breed them to feed my snakes.”

Sunny’s eyes went huge and his eartips drooped; Marianne’s wings snapped open and she bent her knees to drop into a slight crouch. She practically oozed disgust. “Did you say you feed snakes?”

“Yes. They’re my pets, so I damn better take care of them.”

A shudder ran through Marianne, and she crossed her arms, rubbing her upper arms with her hands, and turning away from him.

“Aw, come on, tough girl. You attacked me, and I’m a whole lot bigger than a snake.”

“Yeah, but humans don’t usually eat people my size. I knew humans liked dogs and cats, but why would you keep something like that as pets?”

“I like them. They’re pretty. Mind, they don’t usually eat people my size.” That did make a difference, he could see that. But then… “Want me to introduce you? Controlled meeting? A snake who’s not hungry, and I can translate body language, if needed?”

“Maybe some other time.”

“As you wish.”

They wrapped up negotiations with agreeing on organising transport the evening of the next day, or someone delivering a message if there would be a delay.

[lotsofdogs]

Ways to Involve Kids in Cooking

Right around the time Chase turned two, he began regularly “helping” me in the kitchen. I put the word “helping” in quotations for a reason because his level of actual assistance varies greatly and has admittedly increased significantly over the course of the past 2.5 years.

Chase got a kitchen helper cooking stand for his second birthday and it quickly became one of our most-used items around the house. (Chase still uses his cooking stand almost every day and we’ve since put felt pads on the bottom so he can run behind it and push it right up to the counter when he wants to help us in the kitchen.) I initially started including Chase dinner preparation and he now loves helping me make everything from slow cooker meals and casseroles to muffins and desserts. It didn’t take long for Chase to start asking to help with a variety of tasks and now he frequently wants to taste new foods and press pretty much every button on the oven imaginable during our cooking adventures.

I’ve had a number of you guys reach out to ask me to share a blog post on the ways I incorporate Chase into the recipe preparation process and this post has been on my “must write” list forever! I finally got around to assembling a long list of the various ways I include Chase in kitchen fun and you may find it all detailed below.

Please note: I do not do every single thing listed below every single time Chase helps me in the kitchen but wanted to include a thorough list of the various ways I like to incorporate him into the fun of cooking and baking. Chase honestly really enjoys “helping” me these days and I love the fact that he’s learning about cooking while trying new foods and having fun. And the fact that we also manage to knock out a recipe and do something productive in the kitchen together feels like a win… even if every recipe takes 10 times longer and our kitchen is 10 times messier in the end.

Ways to Involve Kids in Cooking

Adding Spices

I let Chase help add spices to recipes in a number of ways. If the recipe calls for a “pinch” of something, I let him be the pincher. If I need a more exact amount of a certain spice, he loves measuring tablespoons and teaspoons and tapping them on the side of a bowl or pan to add the spice to a recipe. Also, when Chase started learning his numbers, I’d ask him to do something like “three taps” of the teaspoon on the side of the bowl which he thought was fun because of the loud tap noise but it also encouraged counting which I loved!

Also, this is a bit of a random “Mom Hack” but I also frequently slice up some cucumbers or bring out some baby carrots or hard-boiled eggs for Chase to snack on while we cook because he loves sprinkling them with a “teeny tiny pinch of salt.” (Sprinkling apple or pear slices with cinnamon is another favorite.) It’s a great way to get a healthy snack in his belly while we’re cooking or baking together and allows him to “play” with spices a little more. To help keep his sticky hands from contaminating spices/salt, I’ll add a bit to a small bowl for him that he can use as his own little stash.

Stirring + Mixing in an Oversize Bowl

Chase loves helping me stir and mix but when it comes to mixing things up with a hand-mixer or stirring ingredients together, I am all about using oversize bowls to prevent messes. Please don’t take this to mean our kitchen is even remotely spotless when Chase helps me in the kitchen, but to prevent overflow and a bigger mess than necessary, a larger-than-needed bowl is key for containing ingredients when a little one is serving as sous-chef.

Filling Muffin Tins

Filling muffin tins with muffin liners is a task that’s great for fine motor skills since kids have to work hard to separate the muffin liners from each other. I almost always have to help Chase with this one since the liners tend to stick together without him realizing it, but he absolutely loves this task, especially when I let him pick what muffin tin liners he wants to use from a variety of colors and designs.

Pressing ALL the Buttons

I’m sure this comes as no surprise to anyone with kids around, but it seems like all children everywhere are obsessed with pressing buttons. As it turns out, cooking and baking involves a decent amount of button pressing from setting the oven or starting a blender to microwaving something or setting up the slow cooker. Chase loves being the designated “button presser” and especially enjoys pressing the oven light on and off to periodically check on whatever we made together as it bakes away.

Measuring + Pouring

This one goes without saying but measuring (aka “digging” into a big bag of flour) and pouring anything and everything is probably Chase’s favorite task. The bigger the measuring cup, the better!

Ask for Their Opinion

Don’t care what kind of vegetables you include in your vegetable lasagna? Ask your little one their opinion! Chase always has a strong opinion about what I should add to a recipe whenever I ask him and I think he likes feeling like his thoughts matter and that he has a real say in how we cook and bake together. And since 3.5 year olds laugh at everything, sometimes I ask him silly questions like, “Do you think we should add ice cream to our quesadillas?” which will make him look at me with wide eyes before laughing and saying something like, ” NOOO! Silly Mom!”

Picking Seeds Out of Squash/Bell Peppers

Chase has always been a fan of seek-and-find books and games so picking seeds out of everything from a spaghetti squash or an acorn squash to a bell pepper is right up his alley. (I will usually pre-scoop out the seeds from a larger squash so there aren’t too many remaining for him to tackle.) It’s one of those tasks I personally detest but Chase thinks is oddly fun and I love that it’s great for fine motor skill development, too! Don’t expect this one to occupy your little one for long, but it seems to entertain them for a little while at least.

Say “Okay” To Taste Tests

This one might not appeal to some people but since I’m far from a germaphobe and tend to lean toward the “a little dirt won’t hurt” mentality, I don’t have any problem with Chase taking little tastes of our food while we’re cooking with his freshly-washed hands, as long as it’s something only he or our family will be eating together. (We also do a lot of hand-washing during the cooking process since he’s a kid who doesn’t like dirty or sticky hands.)

While things like cookie dough and muffin batter are obvious hits, I’ve been surprised at Chase’s excitement and enthusiasm over trying different spices we use in recipes as well as sauces, homemade nut butters and more. He’s a naturally curious child and while he’s never been a kid with a giant appetite, I do think that helping me cook in the kitchen is to thank for his interest in trying a variety of foods, even if he’ll often say, “I don’t like that very much.” As a mom who hopes to raise a healthy eater, you better believe I’m psyched when he asks to try foods like zucchini or starfruit.

Let Them “Sprinkle”

Any recipe that calls for sprinkling something like cheese, nuts, fresh herbs, chopped vegetables or sliced fruit over the top of a dish is toddler gold!  I’ll often put a large amount of whatever ingredient needs to be “sprinkled” into a bowl for Chase and let him be the designated sprinkler. Naturally he loves this task when it comes to making our own pizzas because pizza, but he’s often pretty enthusiastic about sprinkling just about any ingredient all over a big dish or pan.

Dish Washing

Letting a two or  three-year-old “help” with washing dishes is basically a recipe for something I like to call “swamp floor” but I’ve become a lot more laid back about a water-related mess since it’s incredibly easy to wipe up. Plus, setting Chase up at the sink to “wash” dishes often thoroughly entertains him while I wrap up the rest of a recipe. I like to lay a towel down around his cooking stand when I set him up at the counter and then I fill a bowl with warm soapy water and ask for his help “washing” measuring cups, spoons and other toddler-safe kitchen supplies. I like to tell myself this is also training Chase to clean up after cooking but I’m pretty sure he just thinks of it as some kind of awesome version of bath time in his clothes.

Let Them Pick a Recipe

Chase loves paging through my magazines and using scissors to cut out various pictures so when I’m done with a magazine that has recipes in it, I’ll often let him go to town and cut it up. It was during one of these magazine cutting sprees that I told him to let me know if he saw a yummy recipe he might like to make together on one of the pages. Of course he naturally picked an advertisement for some kind of a kid’s dessert treat but we eventually he saw a recipe for a smoothie that appealed to him so we ripped out the page and put it in “Mom’s special recipe folder” and then I pulled it out one day for us to make together. He remembered finding the recipe himself and I think that made him all the more excited to make it with me a few days later.

Questions of the Day

Do you ever incorporate your kids into fun in the kitchen? What are some of your favorite ways to cook or bake with little ones?

Any favorite kid-friendly recipes your little ones love to make with you? 

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/ways-to-involve-kids-in-cooking/

[thebeasteats]

Detention Youth Go Vegetarian

As many of you know, I work at correctional facility for youth, teaching English, Communications, and Culinary Arts. “If you don’t know well know you know.” (Notorious B.I.G) For the few months we (Ili, Kai and I) have been introducing vegetarianism amongst students, with their quarterly project being the opening of their very own “Vegetarian Restaurant”. We began with juicing, going over the benefits and losses of utilizing a “tastier” option for ingesting the proper amount of vitamins. As one can expect, some of their responses were the following, “Miss -- this taste like shit. I wouldn’t do this outside,” or “Den what miss we supposed to do this and clean em’ up everytime -- f dat,” or my personal favorite, “This looks like Trump’s skin -- this dakine white man’s drink. Lazy.” Okay, the last one may not be expected -- but it was definitely an appropriate analogy for the carrot/cucumber/apple combo. 

Based on their responses however, I challenged them to reconsider the way they see the food they’re eating. I introduced Immortal Techinque’s “Philosophy of Poverty” and Jedi Mind Trick’s “One for the Killing”, two underground “conscious” hip-hop artists that discuss the parallelisms between Big Companies, cancer-inducing GMOs and food products, as well as the detrimental nature of eating steroid pumped meat. But how? After the class period ended, I had 15 minutes to plan a poetry workshop based around this idea alone. When they came back, I blasted the room with some hip-hop instrumentals and on the board wrote, Food; Tradition; War. I had the students map out ideas that tied along to those themes and wrote the following, “As long as there is drugs in my hands and spam in my stomach -- we are at war.”  With 10 minutes to write, my students went HARD on their papers. Their work was incredible. My students were on some real, philosophical ish son! They spoke on conspiracies linking the Government, Big Pharmaceuticals and Fast Food industries, how that tied to the Welfare system and how the Hawaiian and Asian diets are products of colonialism and war. Impressed? Hell yeah. Shocked? Nah. My students are sociological thugs and we talk about politics often, and how they impact our day-to-day and the lives of People of Color (POC). 

So what the hell does this have to do with going vegetarian? Well we’re starting a revolution son! Our students want to do more research into their current diets and spin a vegetarian dish. We started our garden last year and “dem fakkahs is boomin” as my students would say. After discussing what they wanted to eat vs. what they regularly do -- we finalized with Chicken Parmesan with Pasta and a salad. Our twist was an eggplant parmesan with zuchinni noodles. 

We separated the modules, one focusing on salad and the other on the eggplant Parmesan. As our kids “removed the foreskin” from the phallic-shaped vegetables (Dorian’s words, not mine.) we talked about the different colors, shapes and “feels” between organic and conventional versions (yes, we cooked both). The organic eggplant shaved clean to a Madagascar gecko green while the gmo version was a Japanese-Empress ivory. Throughout they asked if we were gonna cook both. Some argued we shouldn’t if we don’t want cancer, others said we shouldn’t waste the food, and finally the other teachers chimed in “we already bought em, cannot waste.” Which is understandable but it begged me to question what we are teaching them about power, access, and food and whether or not we could really create this “food revolution”. Then the young men bathed them in the battered peppered-egg mix and pressed them into Italian breadcrumbs. I took this time to talk about when I moved to the South and learned to make fried chicken and how this was similar. As they moved toward the fry pans, popping with a slow sizzle of oils, I told them to “listen for the rain” ask they cook. If it sounds like thunder and lightening, turn the heat down. It should “sound like a steady and gentle rainfall over a metal roof in Kahaluu.” They cooked it to perfection.  Then they moved onto making the zucchini noodles using a spiralizer, of course while making comments on the horrifying nature of a female using this same item on their private parts if they ever cheated on them. The creativity they impose on these young girls is hilarious and worrisome. Nonetheless, as the water came to a cauldron like witchcraft boil, we blanched the noodles until they “bent like whisky dick” (their words, not mine) and didn’t “snapped in half like the backs of our enemies” (my words, not theirs). As the noodles bathed themselves to al dente perfection, we drained them in the sink. Using the same pot, we added butter, lemon, minced garlic, salt and pepper and listened to the aroma dance itself out of the pot. We added the noodles and let it bask in the melodic greatness of flavor we created as the eggplants were in the oven awaiting the cheese to melt all over its armored flesh. 

The results? Doper than meth and tastier than getting out of jail and into the bed of your lover. Their vote? “Hell ya miss -- I could be vegetarian if it taste laddaht!” Impressed? Yes. Shocked?

 Nah. 

[josephkitchen0]

Kitchen Gift Guide: Homemade Bread Recipes, Mason Jar Cookie Mixes and More

As we prepare for the holidays, I always take a day to make gifts from the kitchen to share with friends, teachers and co-workers. One of my favorites is a homemade bread recipe from my grandmother. In the last few years, I have also discovered the fun of making “recipe-in-a-jar” creations. These are creative gifts with endless possibilities.

Homemade Bread Recipe: Pumpkin Bread in a Coffee Can

My grandma was very actively involved in her church, and around the holidays, she liked to bring gifts for people in the congregation. She would save coffee cans for months ahead of time so she had a big supply ready for baking at Christmas. She lived in suburbia, but she felt the spirit of simple homesteading: putting everything to good use and finding new purposes for items that others might throw away.  My grandma Bettie passed on her homemade bread recipe to my mother and then to me as well, and I’d like to share my experience with baking it as a gift of the kitchen this year.

What Food Preservation Method Should I use?

Learn how to preserve your own food in this FREE Special Report, What is Food Preservation? How to Can Food, How to Dehydrate Food, How to Freeze Dry, and Pickling Food Preservation from Apples to Zucchini. YES! I want this Free Report »  

First I had to drink a lot of coffee—not a difficult task for me! I saved three coffee cans, removed the labels from the outside, and cleaned them out well.

I will add a step here, which I forgot to do initially. If your cans have a lip around the top, use a can opener to cut it out.

This is what it looks like with the lip removed.

Removing the rim will allow the bread to slide out of the can when it is cooked. I didn’t even think about the necessity of this until I went to remove a loaf for my family and it wouldn’t come out! These are the little details grandmas don’t write down in homemade bread recipes. If you forget this step, you can remove the lip after the bread is baked, like I did, but it is more challenging with the bread risen up out of the can.

Another important part of the bread coming out of the coffee cans is properly greasing and flouring them. This is something I dreaded as a child because I didn’t like the feel of the Crisco we used.

Start with a big glob of Crisco on your fingers and get in there!

Rub it all around, coating every surface of the inside of the can. When you finish greasing the cans, you will have what I always referred to as “Crisco hands.” Your best bet for getting it off is to rub your hands together like you were putting on lotion. Rub as much in as you can; then get a dry paper towel and wipe off any excess. Your hands will be baby soft! Whatever you do, don’t try to wash your hands with water. You’ll end up with a goopy mess and you’ll miss out on some serious moisturizing.

Then you have to “flour” the cans as well. I made a little video to explain the process I use for this homemade bread recipe in a can:

So, your cans are ready to go. Put them aside while you make your batter. It’s time to preheat the oven too. Set it to 350 degrees.  I used my stand mixer but you can use a mixing bowl and a spoon if that’s what you have available. Start with the first six ingredients you need for this homemade bread recipe: nutmeg, cinnamon, sugar, oil, eggs, and salt.

I used our tiny pullet eggs for my baking so I added an extra one since they are so small. As part of our self-sustaining living, we always have a bowl in the fridge for kitchen scraps. When it gets full, we grind it up in the food processor and give it to the chickens. I added my egg shells to this bowl; they provide good calcium for the girls. As long as they are ground up well, they don’t realize they are eating egg shell so (knock-on-wood) it doesn’t lead to egg eating.

Once you have these mixed together, start adding the other ingredients from the homemade bread recipe, one at a time. Usually, I don’t like to use commercially canned vegetables, but I didn’t make any canned pumpkin this year, so I got some at the store. I found an organic store brand pumpkin.

I should take a moment to talk about the walnuts. It is really important that you use black walnuts. They have a distinctive flavor that really defines the taste of the pumpkin bread recipe. These are the ones I used.

Before you add the nuts and raisins to your batter, you need to “flour” these as well so that they won’t sink to the bottom of your bread while it’s baking. To do this, put the nuts and raisins in a large bowl or mixing cup. Add some flour on top.

Now shake it very gently. You can get your fingers in and mix them around as well. They will look like this when you’re done.

Now throw them in too and mix, mix, mix!

You’re ready to fill your prepared coffee cans. Divide the batter evenly between the three cans, and put them in the oven.

The homemade bread recipe says they should cook an hour, but I find they usually take closer to 80 minutes. To check them, stick a sharp knife down in the middle. They are done when the knife comes out clean.

When the bread comes out of the oven, let it sit until it cools. Then cut some squares of plastic wrap to cover the top. Use a pretty fabric bow to tie the plastic wrap down and give it some holiday cheer. You could decorate the can or write a message with a sharpie marker as well.

Recipe-In-A-Jar

Another thing I have gotten into making the last couple years is a recipe-in-a-jar. The idea is that you put all the dry ingredients for a recipe into a pretty jar and give it as a gift. Not only is it beautiful to look at, with all the layers of ingredients, but it is also a fun project for families to do together around the holidays.

When I started, I used prescribed recipes I found in a magazine, but soon I discovered you could do this with many different kinds of foods if you just followed a few rules:

Pick a recipe with mostly dry ingredients. I try to find something with three or less “wet” or fresh ingredients that will have to be added.

Consider the jar. You may be thinking…What is the best canning jar to use for this? You can use any canning jar you have, but vintage or unique jars will only add to the charm of your gift. If you are reusing old jars, just make sure the sterilize them before you add any food.

Consider the size of the jar. I typically use quart jars for baking recipes and pint jars for soups. You may need to size your recipes down so that the ingredients will fit in a jar. I have found that if you cut a typical cookie recipe in half, it will fit in a quart jar.

Consider what will layer well. When you are putting the ingredients in the jar, don’t just add them in order; think about what will stay in separate layers and be visually appealing.

Add ingredients carefully. I use my wide mouth funnel to allow for easy pouring of ingredients into the jar then carefully spread them into even layers. Try not to splash things around too much (especially flour and sugar) or the inside of your jar won’t stay clean and it won’t be as pretty when you are finished.

Allergies. In today’s world, you have to be careful about your ingredients and making sure you put a warning on the jar if it contains allergens, especially nuts.

This year, I made two kinds of jars: soup mixes and cookie mixes.

  Soup Mixes

In years past, I made up mixtures of beans, grains, spices and more to put in my jars. This year, I was short on time so I took the easy route: pre-made soup mixes. If you go to your grocery store, you will find many options in the soup aisle.

I chose two from Bob’s Red Mill: Whole Grain and Beans and Vegi. I selected these because I know the company makes a quality product and because they are visually a nice mix of colors and textures.

When I got them home, I divided the mixes between four-pint jars (each bag will fill two). I put on the lids, topped them with a circle cut from pretty cotton fabric, and tightened the bands down. Finally, I took the directions from the bag and made a little tag to attach to the jar. Whoever you give your recipe-in-a-jar to will need to know how to make it. Make sure your directions match the quantity you are providing in the jar. Here is an example of how I translated the instructions on the bag to my tag.

Finally, print and cut out your tag. Punch a hole in it, and use a piece of ribbon to tie it to the jar.

Cookie Mixes

This time of year, if you walk down the baking aisle, you will find all kinds of special items. I got several kinds of chips and candies to use. When I got them home, I modified the recipes from the backs of the bags for my jars. Here are several examples.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I followed this recipe almost exactly, cutting it in half to fit in my pint jar.

Christmas M&M’s Cookies

For this jar, I used the Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe but switched out Christmas M&M’s for the chocolate chips. The red and green M&M’s are so festive. My stepsons always choose this one to take for their teachers.

White Chocolate Cranberry Cookies

This was originally meant to be baked as a blondie bar, but I cut it down for the jar and modified my directions to make a cookie. I also put walnuts in instead of macadamia nuts because that’s what I had in my freezer.

Mint Chocolate Delights

I followed this recipe fairly closely, cutting it in half for the jar. The cocoa powder, along with the mix of green and brown chips make this one quite festive as well.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

I cut this recipe in half and simplified the ingredients for my jar (by removing the white sugar and the raisins). The oats give it nice texture variation.

As I prepared my jars, I made labels for each. By typing them as I worked, it helped me keep straight which recipe went with which jar, modifications I had made, and if I needed to add any nut warnings. When I was all finished, I printed my tags and cut them out. Many of the cookie recipes call for vanilla extract. Another fun addition could be to make and include a homemade vanilla extract gift.

These are just a few ideas of easy recipe-in-a-jar gifts that I have made. Depending on the time you have to spend and how devoted you are to simple homesteading, you may make your recipes more homemade, less store-bought. Either way, though, they will be appreciated and enjoyed by the receiver! The possibilities are endless: mixes for tea, waffles, breads, meat rubs…

From Phillips Farm – we wish you a warm, healthy and relaxing holiday season!

Do you have a favorite homemade bread recipe passed down through the generations?

  Kitchen Gift Guide: Homemade Bread Recipes, Mason Jar Cookie Mixes and More was originally posted by All About Chickens