#i had to write my love letter to hachis story

[mediocreauthor]

nana komatsu: how we surpass trauma to survive

tw: rape, sexual assault 

I recently wrote the way Hachi didn’t acknowledge or deal with her rape was one of the most realistic portrayals I have ever seen, whether that was Yazawa’s intention or not. 

Now you can say how Yazawa portrayed certain issues was wrong and potentially harmful for many young girls who read NANA and saw incredibly damaging behaviors brushed over or not even portrayed as bad. And you would be correct but this post isn’t about NANA’s affect, but rather story itself. 

The morning after Hachi’s pregnancy was revealed, which I consider as a turning point of the story, Takumi raped Hachi. I really don’t want to sugar coat or be poetic about this, he raped her. Now, I have been seeing some posts excusing Takumi’s actions therefore I will explain why this is considered as rape. 

In chapter 29, we don’t see Hachi explicitly saying no or fighting back, but hesitant and reluctant because Nana is right next door. Takumi first tries to convince her and when Hachi remains hesitant, what does he tell her?  “You should worry about making me angry.” I am paraphrasing but the message was this. Hearing this, Hachi gives up and people might think she ‘lets’ Takumi do whatever she wants therefore it’s okay somehow, it’s not. 

I read this somewhere and I want all of everyone to read it as well: A ‘yes’ only has value when someone is comfortable enough to say ‘no’. Hachi’s unwilling ‘yes’ means nothing because she was just very openly threatened by Takumi. Hachi, alienated from her friends, knowing Nana sees her as a traitor, Nobu as a cheater, Hachi who had no support for her baby, was given a clear ultimatum by Takumi, the only person she had by her side: if you don’t give me what I want, I will hurt you. You will be left alone. So she does. And then she doesn’t even acknowledge it as rape. She is angry and distraught after but it’s for the strawberry glasses and she just looks slightly annoyed with Takumi. That’s all. Where is that dramatic aftermath we usually see in media, where woman cries, breaks everything within reach then stares blankly at the ceiling?

Because most rape aftermaths don’t look like that. I am BY NO MEANS saying women whose experiences was as I wrote above as invalid. Most rape cases aren’t reported, we know that. But there is also a heartbreaking amount of women who can’t even decide if they have been raped or not. Women, who are  haunted by a certain memory but always pushing it to back of their minds.  I believe Hachi is one of them.  There is a high possibility Hachi was unable to register it as rape but we -readers can observe the effects of it through her behaviour. Hachi is terrified of Takumi. Fans give her so much shit for not contacting Nobu, even Hachi called it out of selfishness and no action is done with one mere emotion, but she also avoided it out of fear of angering Takumi. 

Hachi’s fear of him is displayed plain as day during Shin and Reira’s birthday party. Hachi knew she has angered Takumi by staying at the party, she even considers divorcing him and her inner monologue was pretty brave and promising. So what changed when Takumi knocked on Nana’s door? I would like to break down what for me, is one of the most disturbing scenes in NANA.

This scene right here, is a cry for help for someone who can recognize certain patterns in abusive relationships.

Hachi was in a good mood right before this scene, Nana even pointed out she was too cheerful for someone in the brink of a break up. However, at presence of Takumi, she immediately caves and apologizes for doing things without his knowledge while at the same time, still offering a way out. This way out isn’t for Takumi, it’s for her. I am %100 sure if Takumi said ‘okay go live your own then’, even though sad, Hachi’s predominant emotion would be relief.

She is terrified of Takumi. Hachi is unable to escape this unless he gives her an out. She regretted her ‘choice’ of being with Takumi the morning after but she had no one or nowhere to go. Now, you might think ‘she could’ve gone back to her parents!’ or ‘she could’ve lived on her own’ and I want to counter with: abused people’s mind don’t function like that. Even though you are somewhat aware that you are being treated badly, taken advantage of, it’s pushed way back in your mind. Your world consists of only you and your abuser, you can’t think of options simply because you don’t see any. 

And your abuser makes you believe what they are doing isn’t a big deal. They treat you with kindness right after abusing you while not acknowledging their behavior to leave you disoriented and unsure about the weight of what you have experienced. What Takumi did to Hachi was exactly that. So what did she do? She surpassed it and moved on.

‘I didn’t allow it for the sake of our future, but because I wanted to escape the terror and anxiety of that moment’ Read this sentence over and over again and process it. If I read one more take about how ‘what Takumi did wasn’t that bad compared to other NANA characters’ I am going to fucking slap them with this panel. Hachi learned that disobeying Takumi is pointless. She allows it even when considering separation, why? She is paralyzed by fear.  Because she tried to object Takumi once and learned her lesson. Obedience is so much easier than what you might face with your abuser. You bend and cave, do everything in your power to avoid their wrath. It’s safer.  Admitting that you haven’t received the best treatment from someone who is supposed to cherish you is an act strength by itself. I do not blame any victims of abuse who don’t want to admit or process their trauma. It’s hard, it’s terrifying and frustrating. Being able to process your trauma is a luxury most women don’t have. Hachi doesn’t have it with a belly up her nose at the age of 21. She is in a vulnerable position and don’t think even for a second Takumi isn’t aware of it. 

Next day, Hachi greets Takumi by the door as usual. Their home life becomes pretty stable since she takes all his micro aggressions,  his snarky comments and belittlement with slight annoyance, still with humor. Because the other scenario is losing herself. She surpasses her trauma to maintain her sanity. 

Why do I love this? 

Because a lot of women do exactly this. A lot of housewives who stick with their husbands despite years of abuse, young girls with their boyfriends do this. Because I read NANA at the age of 14 and didn’t even understand what Hachi went through but rereading it at 23, with what I have seen made me sob. Whether Ai Yazawa’s approach was irresponsible or genius I don’t know. But I took something valuable from it and if any minors or young adults especially are following me, I want them to recognize these patterns and behaviors too. 

And what should never be done is to take this tragic coping mechanism and turn it into an excuse to diminish your favorite rat boy’s behavior. You can keep saying what Takumi did wasn’t bad based on Hachi’s reaction, be aware it’s a survival instinct, not nonchalance.   To sum it up: Hachi is a survivor and what she lived through was just as sad and tragic as other characters, and  I am fucking sick of people invalidating it because she coped with a smile.

[placebogirl7]

Nana & Reira: how much Ren’s death has affected them and how they feel about singing

While reading Nana’s discussion and theories among the fans on the web, I noticed more than once that a lot of people claim that Reira is more afflicted by Ren’s death than Nana is, because Reira has completely stopped to sing (unless baby Ren plays the guitar) while Nana still continues to sing, despite she ran away in England. Personally, I don’t agree with this assumption for different reasons.

Both Reira and Nana have been hardly affected by Ren’s death and that’s undeniable. But while Reira had the possibility to continue to sing (Takumi would have searched for another guitarist if only Reira had started to sing again), to bring on Trapnest project, to have her closest friends near to her, Nana didn’t have all this in some way. She could have continued her solo career with the hope to return together with Blast as soon as the “Shin scandal” would have been forgotten, but it wasn’t sure that Blast would have come back. If Gaia would have realized that Nana as a solo singer was more profitable than with Blast, for sure they would have done everything to continue to make her sing alone. So, Nana had to reinvent her career while Reira shouldn’t have, since Takumi would have taken care of all. Furthermore, Nana had her closest friends near to her just like Reira, but the difference is that the only person who could have saved her from her darkness and solitude was the one who died. Hachi was the only one who could probably have taken Ren’s place, but the consciousness that she had a family to take care of, a husband and a baby (so she couldn’t have stood by her side everyday for the rest of their lives), made Nana feel as she had no other “footholds” to grab on to. She felt so lonely at the point she ran away from everyone, searching for a place to die.  On the other hand, Reira had Takumi (the most important person to her as Ren was for Nana) who has sacrificed even his own family to remain at her side. 

There are differences even about the singing matter. I’ve always thought that there was a clear difference between how Nana and Reira felt about singing. Reira said to Yasu that she wanted to be a machine who just sings and feels nothing, but she knew it wasn’t possible to sing without feeling emotions. And she also added “I’m tired of this life”, referring to her life as a singer. Many times during the story she said that she was worthless if she couldn’t sing and Takumi himself admitted that she didn’t have any other talent than that.  At some point in the manga Reira was walking in the street going to Ren’s house to bring him food and she heard some girls talking about her and Nana. 

I admit that what the two girls say is exactly what I’ve always thought about Nana and Reira as singers. This perception comes by the fact that Reira gives the impression she sings only because she can’t stop to be “Trapnest singing princess”, since this means losing Takumi’s attention and esteem. Because in the end, admit it or not, Reira’s singing is strictly bond to Takumi. During a discussion at Ren and Nana’s house, she yelled him “I don’t sing just because of you!”, but then she regretted saying it and in the future we see her in London in the same park she went with Ren years before, saying that she wanted to destroy everything that was important to Takumi, even that beautiful voice which is a gift, she had always hated it. This for me has been the confirmation that she sang mostly because of Takumi. When Ren died, she probably blamed both herself and Takumi for this: herself because Ren was going to fetch her when he met the accident and Takumi because he was the reason why she escaped and he refused to give help to Ren in the proper way he deserved, thinking only about the future of the band and not to Ren as a human being. Reira admitted that the only way she had to help Ren and stand up to Takumi’s plan was to stop singing: at this point of the story Reira was litterally hating her voice and using it as a weapon against Takumi.  All of this to say that, in my opinion, Reira didn’t stop singing because she was so shocked for Ren’s death, but she stopped singing because she wanted to destroy everything important for Takumi, since Takumi is the one who destroyed her life. She ran away to save herself and Ren, but in the end she lead him to death and Takumi is responsible for this, at least in part. She has always said she didn’t sing for Takumi, but my impression has always been the opposite. 

On the other hand we have Nana, who has never hidden that she loves singing, that singing is all her life and makes her feel alive and complete more than anything else. Her passion reaches the heart of people who listen to her songs.  When Ren died, Nana was so shocked at the point she completely stopped to talk and sing. A few hours before Ren’s death she thought that even if she would have broke up with him and if Hachi wouldn’t have come to celebrate her birthday, she still had her songs and her dream was the only thing who could save her. But in the end she gave up on her dream because deep inside Ren and Hachi were much more important than it. When she realized that she had lost Ren forever and Hachi couldn’t have stayed everyday by her side, she ran away and pretended to be death. She gave up to that dream she had always defended with all herself. But, as I said, singing was part of her, it was the thing who kept her alive: so she started to sing again, in a little pub far away from Japan, for a few spectators, forgetting the Tokyo Dome and the big audience. In the future she says that she can’t throw away that life which Hachi saved, so she sings to stay alive one more day.  The fact that Nana continued to sing doesn’t mean she was less shocked than Reira about Ren’s death, but simply that her love and reasons to sing were stronger than Reira’s ones. While Reira sings for Takumi, Nana sings for herself.

During the Blast vs. Trapnest TV program, Junko says that Trapnest lyrics are trivial and ordinary. Nana herself when she listen to “Shadow of Love / Trust” says that it’s an ordinary song about betrayal. So more than one people state that the lyrics which Reira writes are ordinary, the classical love songs.  On the other hand, Blast lyrics are appreciated for their contents. Nana’s fans write her letters to say that her songs give them strenght and inspiration. Hachi, which has always been a big fan of Trapnest, states that Rose is still her favorite song among all. We can say that Nana’s lyrics are deeper than Reira’s ones and this can be due to the fact that Nana’s passion for singing is bigger than Reira’s. You cannot write great lyrics if you don’t have that special fire inside. 

All this to say that the fact that Reira doesn’t sing anymore while Nana does isn’t a reason to claim that Reira is more affected than Nana by Ren’s death. There are other reason behind their choise to sing or not sing. Both of them are deeply affected by what happened to Ren and I think, deep inside, Nana is the one who suffered more.

Anyway, as always this is only my personal opinion! :)

[komatsunana]

I really love your meta about NANA! I think I've read everything you've written at least 5 times. Could you please write about your top 5 (or maybe 10 if it's not too much work) Nana and Hachi moments? I just love and miss my girls.

Aw, thanks!  And thanks for such a good question it really woke me up in a good mood and I had to put doing other things on pause just to answer it because I always want to talk about my two fave girls!!

In no order because… I CAN’T!!

1.  Just to get the two that I’ve written metas on out of the way… When Nana invites Hachi to see Blast at a concert, scheduling her to be there at a distance so as not to disturb the baby…. ;_; [post here]

2.  The fireworks scene [post here]

3.  When Nana first introduces Takumi to Hachi and she bursts into tears.  So many thing happened as a result of this meeting and tbh I think they’d be happier if some of them hadn’t happened… But Ren and Satsuki never would have been born.  In that moment Hachi really felt Nana’s love.

4.  That moment on the floor of Hachi’s childhood bedroom, where Hachi tells Nana she knew all along about Nana’s past with Ren and Nana promises to answer any questions Hachi has about herself… Even though Nana never really follows through (in part because Hachi doesn’t ask too many questions) but the option is there!! It’s one of the biggest moments of growth from Nana, especially since I would argue Nana’s entire arc is less about growth and more of a deconstruction.

5.  Nana and Hachi’s first lil shopping spree…  Everything about it tbh!!  Especially when they get the strawberry glasses but the whole shopping expedition is so much of the foundation of their relationship as a whole.  Both of them already gained so much affection for each other but this is where they really start learning about each other, even if they also start learning where their boundaries with each other are.

6.  (Aaaaah it is at this point that I realize I could be making a list of my top 20 fave moments and still be missing some of my favorites)

That moment of Nana under the moonlight and Hachi falling in love with Blast.

7.  Nana promises to make Hachi’s wish come true.

8.  Hachi comes to see Nana after the story of Nana’s mom breaks to the press (and how everyone around Nana is just like… so relieved because of course Nana is gonna be ok.  Hachi is there!) plus how Hachi is just so easily like ok, I’ll just live with you for a while!!

9.  Nana and Hachi on Valentines day and when Nana says THAT like that hasn’t been my goddamn dream

10.  How could I not?  Nana and Hachi meeting that first time and toasting not to a man but to the coincidence of their fated meeting….

………………Because I’m a total cheat Imma just list out 11 (more for a total of 21, the current number of volumes!! Totally not cheating lmao)

11.  Hachi and Nana find each other again, with every odd against them finding each other, and decide to rent together

12.  Hachi’s love letter to Nana

13.  Hachi spray painting over hateful graffiti about Nana with love

14.  Hachi gives Nana rescue breaths

15.  Nana and Hachi at the Reira and Shin birthday party (my favorite arc!!)

16.  Hachi beseeching reporters to leave Nana alone and that she’ll do the interview in her place

17.  Nana rescues Hachi from the encounter with Nobu

18.  Their first bath together

19.  When they hold hands at the concert

20.  When Nana tells Hachi about her first gig and hugs her at the door and Hachi is just so happy for her

21.  Nana waiting outside Shoji’s restaurant for Shoji

[morebedsidebooks]

Éclair Blanche A Girls’ Love Anthology

A follow up to the first Éclair girls’ love anthology, Éclair Blanche has now been translated in English as well. I am happy to see some contributors again, along with newer names. For some of these comics sexual content and nudity are a little greater than the previous anthology though, this is still a book suggesting an older teen demographic. But it does remain much a mish mash of scenarios mostly with schoolgirl characters, some chapters again that are going to be less delightful for all readers. Anthologies are an interesting case in that they are a conglomeration of many artist and naturally vary more greatly in reading experience to begin with. Still, this review because of certain circumstances is going to focus more on one artist. There are 18 other artists between the three illustrations and 15 chapters I should be writing about. Such as Isaki Uta who had the standout chapter for me about a dressmaker. Or I could remark on other artists, like Canno, who’ve got comics (continued in following volumes) with questionable parings and age gaps too. However, the latter type is where one particular note with the English edition overshadows.

Generally, a volume of Éclair has three colour illustrations and around 16 chapters. Blanche has 16 chapters but in the English edition there are 15. One chapter was omitted, likely for legal concerns. (I write likely because despite the question Yen Press has of yet not made any definitive comment.)  I can recognize that publishers and creators don’t desire controversy and the obligation of avoiding legal trouble which also can and does extend beyond them as well. Commonly (and I might say in my opinion) the best method to avoid that is by not licensing something altogether. One might argue that is sort of what happened with Blanche in a way. Personally, I am not a fan of the artist whose chapter has come into question, Itou Hachi. Perhaps a name familiar to English readers from being the artist for Kindred Spirits on the Roof. While creating different work both traditionally and indie published, Itou specializes in おねロリa particular category in yuri which is noted by its large age gap between characters. Even the previous published contribution by Itou to the first Éclair fits this. Though, for that comic with its fantastical characters a wolf-lady and little rabbit girl plus much more chaste story line, content was obviously less of an issue.

Though there is a reason I am disappointed. I believe informed consumers are an ethical and positive thing. But supporting that is something Yen Press has failed on with this title. As far as I am aware there was no public comment or response to questions and concerns raised that were in discussion off and on for months previous to Blanche going on sale. Now little response after. Oh, and there may come another round of the same for next volumes too because of content. If the page count given on upcoming English editions is any indication it is likely other chapters by Itou will similarly be omitted. A matter I’m sure incites feelings of praise by some, expletives by others and then somewhere in between for the rest. (Éclair  Orange, the 5th volume and not yet licensed, was only released last year in Japan. Itou’s chapter there has a sci-fi take but still... so idk.) But, none of this is unprecedented. One can look further backward when it comes to a variety of publishers though need not go very far. The German publisher Altraverse, which released Éclair Blanche a little over a year ago, was faced with this similar situation. While naturally not something to change the viability of publication, Altraverse still recognised opportunity to learn from the matter for the future and apologized for being less than forthcoming. Silence accomplishes little.

I’ve purchased Éclair in two languages as it does have more artists whose work I do like, contributing to it. I still am fond of anthologies and feel they are a good way to be introduced to new creators or enjoy shorter works from authors that may be favourites. But I can’t say I’m enjoying reliving it for English release now, even despite the publisher taking some measures to avoid trouble and controversy.

Éclair Blanche A Girls’ Love Anthology with Fly, Musshu, Nakatani Nio, Yuikawa Kazuno, Oku Tamamushi , Kagekichi Tadano, Canno, Kabocha, Takado, Fumiko, Amano Shuninta, Kitao Taki, Isaki Uta, Ejima Eri, and Hirao Auri, is available in English translated by Eleanor Summers, lettering by Alexis Eckerman, in print and digital, from Yen Press, suggested for older teens

[maiji]

Niounomiya / Kaoruchujo (The Perfumed Prince / The Fragrant Captain), 2018 Tale of Genji (Uji chapters)

“He [Kaoru] gave off [...] an otherworldly fragrance, and it was a wonder how no matter where he went, the breeze that eddied behind him seemed really to perfume the air to a hundred paces. [...]This most unusually personal fragrance roused His Highness of War [Niou] to special rivalry. He purposely suffused his clothes with the finest incenses[...] In spring he contemplated his garden’s plum blossoms...”

- The Perfumed Prince, Tyler translation

Fountain pen ink and waterbrush - Papier Plume Sepia, Kyo Iro Cherry Blossom of Keage, KWZ Confederation Brown, Kyo no Oto Yamabukiiro. Many thanks to my dad for supplying his calligraphy for me to copy!

Kaoru’s nice smell, which I mentioned previously, may seem odd/random from a Western perspective, but it’s tied to a major theme of his character. A beautiful fragrance is supposed to be sign of an enlightened being, so it’s a carryover of his karma from a past life. Except in this life it drives him crazy because he can’t get rid of it and everybody always knows when he’s in the area.

I wanted to include some brief thoughts about these characters and their relationship, but it accidentally exploded into an essay. See below the cut and I am so sorry to anyone for whom the cut fails.

(The Kaoru - Ukifune - Niou love triangle is such an obvious, common point of discussion in their relationship, so I won’t spend time on that here.)

Of the three generations of friendship-rivalries in Tale of Genji, the third is by far the most diametrically opposed. Niou's a hotshot prince who chases practically any woman because he can, being so notorious that even his servants and guardians are constantly like, where the hell is Niou NOW and for god’s sakes, don’t tell him about whatever or he’s going to get into it!! Kaoru is a wannabe monk who keeps getting derailed in this pursuit, in the beginning because he's taking care of his mom, and later because he’s asked by the aging and dying Prince Hachi (whom he greatly respects and has been studying Buddhist scriptures with) to take care of his daughters. People have summarized Niou as successor of Genji’s dynamism, charm and passion, and Kaoru as successor of Genji’s spiritualist sensitivities. So I guess you can call them Genji without the morals VS Genji without the libido, which is simplified but fairly accurate.

It’s also interesting to compare/contrast their actual heritage. Niou is Genji’s grandson through his daughter the Akashi Empress. He was also Murasaki’s favourite, and he was a cute kid, but she might have been appalled to see how he turned out. Kaoru meanwhile is the result of an affair between Kashiwagi (To no Chujo’s son) and the Third Princess (Genji’s youngest wife), and though everyone involved kept the secret pretty well, he’s always had this unsettled feeling of displacement and a sense that something was weird about his mother’s situation. (I’m a huge sucker for quietly and privately sad scenes, and the brief one where Kaoru, after learning the truth about his birth, with his real father's incriminating letters in hand, rushes home to talk to his mother - and then decides never to let her know that he knows because it would only upset her - was definitely one of those to me.)

From my perspective, Murasaki Shikibu or whoever wrote these chapters did a decent job making the Kaoru-Niou friendship believable and even supportive (mostly thanks to Kaoru) before all the crap hits the ceiling later (mostly thanks to Niou). The Uji chapters are rightfully considered a tragedy, but as I was reading I found the predicaments these two kept getting themselves into, and the sheer contrast of their positions and dispositions, rather hilarious.

At one point in the story, the pair have befriended the sisters Oigimi and Nakanokimi (the daughters Kaoru’s been asked to take care of, mentioned earlier). Because both Kaoru and Niou are of excellent status, getting married to either of them is about as much assurance that a woman would be taken care of as you could get in aristocratic Heian society. Only dad kinda FORGOT TO TELL HIS DAUGHTERS that he asked Kaoru to take care of them before he died, so they think their father wants them to stay hermits in their isolated house forever. GJ DAD YOU HAD ONE JOB

So anyways, both of them are courting the sisters. Well, Niou is definitely courting one (or both, he was kind of confused who he’s talking to/exchanging poetry with, but he is Very Serious about whomever it is). Kaoru’s doing whatever Kaoru does, which mostly seems to be talking a lot to this old woman who serves the sisters because she knew his real father, and chatting with the sisters, and slowly falling in love with the elder sister Oigimi.

But Niou being an imperial prince can’t get out and travel as easily as Kaoru can, plus he’s frequently put under house arrest for his bad behaviour. This leaves Kaoru to visit the sisters regularly and plead the case of his best friend’s sincerity. I kept picturing Kaoru all bundled up and paddling out to the middle of nowhere, and apologetically explaining for the umpteenth time, “I am so sorry. Niou couldn’t make it again. Yes, he’s grounded again. No, he really is grounded. I know you’ve heard that he’s a terrible playboy, and, well, he is, but he really is very in love with you. Uh, with one of you. He’s really very serious about whichever one of you was writing to him. Really” And the sisters behind their screen are like “WTF KIND OF IDIOTS DO YOU THINK WE ARE” (Please don’t take this as an accurate description of the story)

And then you get passages like this scene. Here we have Niou observing Kaoru in private mourning over Oigimi’s death:

"After many days of tears [Kaoru’s] features had changed, although not for the worse, for they now had so fine a beauty and grace that [Niou], who deplored his own waywardness, saw that he would certainly lose his heart to him, if he himself were a woman."

- Trefoil Knots (Tyler translation)

The next few lines, beginning with "That was a worry" makes me interpret it as either Niou going, "Uh oh, better get my brain onto a new train of thought", or "Uh oh, better get my new wife - whom KAORU HELPED ME TO WIN OVER AND IS STILL TRYING TO HELP CONVINCE WHAT A DECENT GUY I AM - to my house quick in case she falls in love with him."

Obviously, I'm biased towards Kaoru. But hey, I’m not alone! Many readers from the Heian period onwards felt the same. The Mumyozoshi or Nameless Book - a 13th century work of prose criticism by an author many believe to be Fujiwara Toshinari no Musume (“Shunzei’s Daughter”), whose family was dedicated to study of Genji Monogatari - argues that Kaoru is perfect and defends him from criticism. I don't know if I'd go quite that far, but I was super amused. And there are quite a few ancient writings that extend or reimagine things to better favour Kaoru - or at least cut Niou down to size. Here’s an example:

And His Majesty the Emperor Niou said, "Wow, you found Ukifune? Really? That’s great! Uh, you’re not still mad at me after all this time, are you? Boy, I was such an asshole back then and caused so much shit for both of us. Blah blah blah grovel grovel sob sob grovel." The Palace Minister Kaoru was so thoughtful even when he was young that he put everybody else to shame, and he barely ever complained. He now knew even more that life was fleeting and everything was impermanent and that really they’d all been at fault and his depth of compassion and understanding was way beyond even what even the most devout monk could achieve. So he wasn’t bitter at all. He replied, "It’s OK, there’s no point being angry about the past. Whatever happened was fated to happen." And he chatted about this and that until they all felt better. After he left His Majesty said, ‘Goddamn he’s amazing. I’m not worthy to be in his presence.” Actually His Majesty was annoyed because the women in his service were always going on and on about how wonderful the Minister was.”

- extremely paraphrased by me from Kumogakure Rokujo (Tale of Genji apocryphal chapters)

I hope you will agree that this amazingness would not be out of place on fanfiction.net.

Conversely, to balance out this biased post, Royall Tyler wrote an essay titled "Pity Poor Kaoru" that argues the whole narrative is set up to make you feel sorry for him to the exclusion of consideration for the other characters, and that even bearing this in mind he's not really the deep nice guy everyone thinks he is. I don't necessarily agree with all of it, but I do agree the reader is intended to sympathize with Kaoru (there’s a reason I haven’t seen any readers rushing to Niou’s defence). In any case, it's an interesting read with some good points. Centuries-spanning annotated fandom debates are so fascinating!

Wrapping up with some thoughts on Niou. As you may already know, I don’t like him, but to be fair that’s kind of the point. For the most part, aside from his amoral philandering ways and his heightened sense of suspicion that everybody’s doing the same thing he is, he seems otherwise a decent...ish... person. I guess lol. He's authentically very passionate about whatever his stupid inclinations are at the time, he really was housebound against his will at those critical parts in the story (although it’s partly his own fault…), and there are multiple points where he appears to feel genuine remorse at his own asshattery. 

Regardless of whether I’d like him as a real person or not, he’s a character. I recognize the Niou/Kaoru dynamic and relationship is central to the Uji chapters, his role makes the story what it is, and this is what creates conflict, interest, and entertainment. After all, while *I* would read 1200 pages about Kaoru being a monk, not everybody would. And even as I’m writing that, I admit it’s not the most exciting-sounding material.... and 1200 pages is a lot of pages... Ultimately Kaoru and Niou are great reminders that stories are only more compelling when you have interesting relationships and interactions. And I can say with greater confidence that I would read 1200 pages of Kaoru trying to be a monk and dealing with Niou being a turd. Thank you for reading my long wall of text.

[takokola]

Nova’s Secret Admirer Part 1

((Valentine's Day is right around the corner in 2 days. In this story, Nova recieved a letter from a secret admirer. He wondered, who sent him that letter?))

Nova, Hachi, Aki, Mel, Leif, Hunni and Luna belongs to me.

Eimie belongs to @eiden-squid.

Neo Squid Sisters: Camille and Nebula belongs to @inklingleesquidly | @agenttwo and @myzzy

Telemachus (mentioned) @agent-7-at-your-service

Nova went back to his homeroom, after he was called in the principle's office. He wasn't in trouble. His teacher asked him to run a small errand with the principle. He printed out flyers for the Valentine's Day dance for next week. Unfortunately for Nova, he doesn't even have a date to go to.

As he opened the door and reported to his teacher, he seems to notice a pink letter at his own desk. Nova was wonderering, who sent that letter? The rest of the classmates were just finishing their school work. Including Hachi and Leif. Hachi was sitting by the window, where Nova is. And his cousin, Leif was sitting in the middle.

He took his seat and resumed his work until the bell rang. He put the letter away in his bag. He'll read it, later after school.

The school bell rang and everyone in Seaside Hill High were going home or attending their school clubs. As for Nova, he doesn't do any clubs.

"It smells like sweet nectar.." Nova took a whiff at the scent. Could be some kind of expensive perfume. He was going to open the letter, until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, cousin! Whatcha got there?" Leif appeared, right behind him. They were looking over his shoulder to see a pink letter. "Didn't mean to surprise ya. You've been staring at that letter after we were done with class." They wrapped an arm around Nova.

Nova turned his head to Leif and smiled. "Oh, sorry! It laying there, before I came back to class. I was gonna open it, until you showed up" He stared at his letter for a second.

They were eager to know, what's in the envelope. "Well, don't just stand there! Open it!" They said. Leif is one of the squids, who likes surprises.

Nova opened the envelope, to reveal a note. He started to read it, out loud to Leif.

"I heard that you don't have a date to the Valentine's Day dance, next week. Meet me at the entrance of the gym, if you want to come to the dance. I really adore you in turf battles. I love the way, you draw your hearts with your Inkbrush. I'll see you, next week. OXOXO from your secret admirer." After he read the letter, he blushed. Someone admired him.

"Ohhhhh~ Looks like someone has a crush on yoooouuu~" They nudged on Nova. "Well, it's your chance to go to the dance. At least, it's from Grandma Cheryl."

Nova had flashbacks when his grandmother, Cheryl was his secret admirer. He was VERY embarrassed, in front of his sister and cousin. Including his childhood friend, Camille. "That was like 6 years ago.. I thought, it was Camille who sent that letter.." He sighed. "Well.. I guess, I'll go.. My first guess was Camille, buuut I doubt it. I've been friendzoned, pretty hard. I believe she's with some guy named, Tele.. Telemachus?" He's seen him, a couple of times at the Square. "Anyway, my chances of asking Camille out was out of the question." He shrugged. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

"If it's not Camille or Grandma, then who sent the letter?" Leif puzzled.

"I really don't know yet, Leif. That's for me to find out, when I arrive. But for now, me and my team are going to practice for Ranked, this weekend." Nova puts away the letter in the envelope and hid it in his bag for safe keeping.

"Well, good luck on that! I got a club to attend to at the greenhouse! These plants can't water themselves." And with that, they waved goodbye to Nova and left him.

Meanwhile, Hachi was watching from the background. Along side her was Nova's twin sister, Luna. "You think, it's a good idea to send that letter..?" Hachi whispered to Luna. She was blushing, slightly while she kept twiddling her fingers.

Luna nodded. "You're the one who asked for advice about asking my brother out to the dance. He'll be finding out, soon enough." She placed a hand on Hachi's shoulder with a smile. Luna remembered when Hachi visted her in the middle of band practice for the dance.

"Well.. I don't want Nova to be lonely on Valentine's Day, y'know?" She looked at Nova. She's never felt like this, before. At first, Hachi mostly teases Nova and always beat him in any game. Including Turf Wars, she claims to be fresher than her. When Nova participated at the Olympics with Camille, she was rooting for Nova on TV. Just a little bit. Even her mother, Hunni was surprised about it. Once Nova returned home with a slight bruise on the back of his neck, she felt cornered for Nova.

"Make sure you keep this a secret from Nova. It wouldn't that surprising, if you told him right away." Luna flipped her wavey tentacle hair, as she parted way with Hachi. She turned to look at Hachi, one last time. "If you need any help on keeping it a secret from Nova, text me. We've got 4 days until the dance." She said, before catching up to her twin brother.

Hachi stood there, thinking about the letter, she wrote. It's only a matter of time to keep Nova guessing, who sent the letter. She checked the time on her phone. Her daily track practice routine starts in 30 minutes. "I better get going, before the coach will have me do 20 laps on the track." She sighed.

One day later..

The Galaxa Gems: Nova, Hachi, Mel, and Aki were planning strategies at an outdoor table in Inkopolis Square. Nova has formed his own squad, 2 weeks ago, making him captain and Hachi as co-captain. The inktoling, Aki Takoshi joined his squad after serving him some spicy curry to satisify Nova's hunger. The inkling with the yellow tinted shades is Mel Larimar. Mel and Hachi have been good friends, since Hunni and the former Kriller Bees's get-together party. Mel's also part-vampire squid, due to his mother's genes. He sometimes, drinks blood to keep him from going berserk.

While they were discussing strats for Turf Wars and Ranked Battles, they all heard a jingle from the Inkopolis News channel. Neo Squid Sisters, Camille and Nebula were on air and ready to reveal today's stages.

"Hold onto your tentacles!" Camille was the first to read the teleprompter. Nova used to have a crush on her, ever since childhood. But he's been friendzoned, very harshly. Reminds him of his dad, Fynn crushing on Marie when he was 18.

"It's Inkopolis News Time." Nebula finished the introduction. Always the sassy attitude, just like her mother. The rest of inklings kept silent as they all watched the news.

They revealed the next rotation of stages. Not to mention the hilarious comments about the two stages. And before they were about to end today's news, a grin appeared on Camille's face. They must be up to something.

"Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Right, Nebby~?" She looked over to her cousin. That was when Hachi gulped. She doesn't want Nova to find out.

Nebula nodded. "Mmmmhm! It's the time of year for squids to give gifts for a special someone. Or go out on a nice and romantic dinner." She added. "Unless, you're a dateless sap who stays at home and eat ice cream.." Nebula has witnessed it, herself before. Just watching a sad romance movie and eat cookie dough ice cream.

"Okay, that's all for now! And I hope everyone, have a Happy Valentine's Day. Annnndd.." Camille and Nebula did the traditional Squid Sisters pose, passed down by Callie and Marie.

"Staaay Freeeeesh~" The Neo Squid Sisters ended the news with a slogan. And finally, the main screen switched to the turf war brand commercials.

Hachi looked at Nova. She blushed, slightly as Nova was focusing back on the plan. He seems to be zoning out about the letter from his secret admirer.

"Sooooo, any of you are going to the dance?" Aki asked the rest of the squad. "I heard, it's gonna be awesome!" She squee'd happily.

"Actually, I received a letter after I ran an errand. It's from a secret admirer." Nova pulled out the letter. "It smells kinda sweet." He added.

Hachi giggled, nervously. "T-That's great..! I-I wonder, who wrote that letter..?" She looked over the letter.

"I really don't know, Hachi.. But I must meet the admirer at the dance!" He sounded eager to meet this mysterious squid.

Aki's eyes began to sparkle. This is the same expression as his cousin, Leif. She has interest in romance manga and anime. On most days after working at her dad's restaurant, she writes romantic fanfics. "Ooooo~ Whoever this person is, she must be lucky to ask him out~" Aki giggled.

Hachi stayed silent, while Nova and Aki were chatting about the Valentine dance. Her face was a light shade of green. She couldn't tell him, that it was her. Before she could try to text Luna about the situation, Mel tapped her on the shoulder.

"Is something the matter? You're pretty much blushing." Mel pointed that out, the moment Hachi was in the train with him.

"W-What do you mean? I-I'm fine..!" She would lie to him, but Mel is a trustworthy friend. She leaned in, not letting Nova or Aki hear their own conversation.

"Hachi.. You can tell me.. If there's something troubling you, please tell your friends." Mel whispered.

Hachi sighed and whispered into Mel's ear. "It was me.." She admitted. "It was me who sent the letter... I have a crush on our leader.. Ever since after Nova came home after the Olympics.. I've rooted him on.." She was twiddling her fingers. Her blush increased when she told him the truth.

"No wonder, you were shouting at the TV screen.." He rubbed his chin with a finger and thumb.

Hachi stared, directly into Mel's eyes. Well.. into Mel's tinted shades. "Please.. Don't tell Nova.. I wanna make this a surprise for him." She pleaded.

Mel thought about it for a while. Breaking a friend's promise is the last thing, he could ever do. He turned his gaze on Nova and Aki. Nova was now, talking about his sister's performance on stage for Tuesday night.

Mel paid attention to Hachi and smiled, a bit. "Don't worry. I won't tell."

Hachi could squeal out of pure joy, but a simple hug would do. "Thank you, Mel..! I owe you one..!" She grinned, happily. The hug went on for a few seconds, until she lets go. Her gaze was fixated on Nova and Aki. "Hey, guys! Are we gonna chat all day? Or are we gonna go play?" She asked, tapping her feet in an impatient way.

That brought her attention and Nova smiled at her. "Oh, right! We've been sitting here for at least 30 mintues." Nova got up from his seat. "Alright, team! Let's rock n' roll!!" He pumps his fist into the air, triumphantly.

The rest of the Galaxa Gems cheered, as well. Today's stages were pretty decent in Ranked Battles. First they need to warm up in Private, and then head into a lobby.

After the Galaxa Gems played 3 or 4 matches in Ranked, Nova left the square because his mom asked his son to pick a nice suit for the dance. He waved, goodbye to his team and got on the bus. Once he arrived at home, he used the key to unlock the door.

He was soon greeted by his mom, Eimie Marchant Sparks. "Welcome home, champ! Did you enjoy your matches, today?" Eimie said. She was preparing dinner before Fynn comes home from work.

"Hey, Mama! I sure did! It was a rocky start, but we pulled it off!" He scratched the back of his head and chuckled. "Soooo.. You called me about picking out a suit for me?" He asked.

Eimie nodded. "Yeah! Your father has some nice suits, when he was your age. I'm sure, it'll fit. Come with me." Eimie escorted her son to Fynn's closet in the bedroom. She picked out, a decent suit for Nova. It was a white suit with a pink necktime on it.

"He wore this at the prom, before I met him. I thought, that you would look great in a white suit." She handed the suit over to Nova. "Give it a try!"

"Kay, gimmie a sec." He took the suit and walked into the master bathroom. After 5 minutes of putting on the suit, he was done. "Uh, how do I look?" He said, stepping out the bathroom. It was indeed, a perfect fit.

Eimie gasped and squealed in joy. "You look handsome!!" It brings a tear to her eye. She's proud of her Nova, that he's going to the Valentine dance with a secret admirer. "I'm sure, your special lady would be head over heels, in love!"

Nova blushed, slightly at the comment. "Geez, Mama!" He said, chuckling.

Meanwhile at Hachi's apartment, Hachi was backing some cookies for Nova. With the help of her parents: Hunni and Mako, she's getting the hang of baking sweets.

"They should be done, by now.." Hachi looked at the cooking timer. Only 3 minute left until the cookies are fully baked to perfection. Suddenly, Hunni walked in the kitchen. Her mom can smell the sweet scent of sugary goodness, coming from the oven.

"Wow, those smell really good!" Hunni has a weakspot when it comes to baked goods. Her husband cooks on most occasions and her daughter was happy to help out. "So, tell me somethin'. Are you baking them for yourself or for that Nova kid?" She smirked.

Hachi stared at her mom, blushing. "Th-they're for Nova.. I'm going to give him some cookies, when he finds out." She sighed, deeply. "Mom? What's it like, when someone confesses to you? I mean, how did you meet Daddy?" She kept, twiddling her fingers.

Hunni raised her eyebrows. This was the first time, her daughter asked about asking someone out or dating. Nevertheless, she's happy to oblige. " Your father and I, bumped into each in Inkopolis Plaza. As usual, I was pretty angry at him for calling me short. We played a match in Splat Zones, until he apologized. After that, we've been battling alot in Turf Wars. That was until that moment in Flounder Heights." As soon as she said that, she was blushed. "We kissed under the grate and we started dating~!" She even embarrassed, herself. "You should've seen the look on your dad's face! He's so cute, when he's flustered!" She giggled some more, until she kept a smile on her face.

"Hachi, sweetie. There's nothing to be worried about. You go out there and have a good time with Nova. And someday, you'll have a family of your own." She gave Hachi, a big bear hug until she went back in the room.

"Thanks, Mom. Guess, there's no need to worry.." She smiled, slightly. Maybe, she'll be able to have the courage to kiss Nova.

DING~♪

Hachi heard the cooking timer, going off. It was already 3 minutes until the cookies are golden brown and more edible. "Oh! The cookies are done!" She said, before turning off the oven's heat.

End of Part 1