#i had too much enchilladas

[poly-eats]

Cantina Laredo

River: Last night, Jon and I went on a date! And that means it's time for some good food. Tonight's restaurant of choice was Cantina Laredo at the Mall of America, a self-described "Taste of Modern Mexico." Their dinner menu, which includes things like soups, tapas, tacos, fajitas, and enchilladas, as well as lots of fruity drinks, tequilas, and mezcals, seemed interesting and, despite me having been to the Mall many times before and passing by this very restaurant, I'd never tried it until now, so we thought it was perfect for a post-Spencer's-shopping-trip date idea.

When we got there, it was relatively quiet, though it was a Wednesday night, so that wasn't too weird. We got sat at a table in the corner with very pretty appetizer plates! Actually, the whole restaurant was decorated very nicely, with a classy, dark wood theme throughout and some woven baskets and other wall-hangings to give it some flair.

Our first dish was a classic tortilla chips and dip. I forgot to ask what was in it, as I like it very much, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say there were some kind of beans, chilies, cilantro and maybe some garlic in it.

This dish however, was where we ran into a main problem with the restaurant that was absolutely no fault of theirs. For those of you who do not know, there are some people with a gene that makes cilantro taste not like the yummy staple of Mexican cooking that it is, but more like getting your mouth washed out with a bar of soap, and, unfortunately, Jon has been cursed with this trait. That would have been fine, had we actually remembered to ask our waiter for no cilantro on things. So unfortunately, a large chunk of Jon's night was spent picking cilantro off of his food, and this dip, which I liked very much, was kinda off-limits to him, unfortunately. Again, I want to stress that it's no fault of the restaurant, we just forgot to make them aware of this.

Dragon Fruit Fresca

River: Anyway, Jon's going to tell you about the drink he got! I usually don't get anything since I'm the designated driver between us, but I get to have small sips of whatever cocktail he tries. In this case, it was the Dragon Fruit Fresca, a mix of Casamigos Blanco Tequila, Monin Dragon Fruit Syrup, fresh lime juice, and Fever-Tree Sparkling Grapefruit, for a price of $15.

Jon: Good drink! Much Fruit! Now, back to River with the food.

River: T...that's your whole review? Maybe I shouldn't make you be designated driver and I review drinks instead...

Jon: Okay, okay... In all seriousness, the drink was tasty, and the alcohol wasn't very noticeable (most alcohol tastes like how rubbing alcohol smells to me). I was a little disappointed by the amount, as the glass was mostly filled with ice, and that's a little sad for $15

River: I would agree, the lime masked the bite of the tequila well, which allowed it to be a smooth, tropical drink. I tend to not like lime as much, so it wasn't exactly my kind of drink, but I think that it was well-put-together and, had I liked lime more, I think I would have maybe stolen this one from him.

Anyway, as he said, onto the food!

Chicken Nachos

River: The first dish we ordered was the nachos, and, full disclosure, this was a lot more fancy than I thought it would be, since I was expecting something like the greasy pile of chips, cheese, meat, and other toppings in a basket that I served at my last job. Being on the tapas section of the menu, however, it makes sense that they would be more bite-sized and more refined. These had three options; one for $9.50 with no meat, one with grilled chicken (which we got) for $15, and the most expensive option at $17, which included fire-charred skirt steak.

I was pretty happy with the grilled chicken ones. They had a layer of refried beans hidden under the melted cheese that I didn't even notice until Jon pointed it out to me which added some nice flavor, and on top there was a nicely-seasoned slice of chicken, some refreshing diced tomatoes, and, of course, Jon's nemesis, cilantro. They also came with scoops of sour cream, guacamole, and some sliced jalapeños. I especially liked them with the sour cream, and they were a nice starter, and I got to take some home with me for lunch today! I'm also a bit of a "good plating" nerd, so the construction of this dish made my brain very happy.

Jon: As mentioned prior, I have a genetic bias against anything with cilantro (which sucks, as I now cannot call myself a true human trashcan who will eat anything put in front of me), but despite this (and a few minutes of picking off the cilantro), they were pretty good! My only real complaint is the amount we got for the price (I'm stingy by nature, though, so take that with a grain of salt).

Chicken Enchiladas with Beans and Rice

River: Just recently at work I got introduced to the magic that is creamy poblano enchilada sauce, as we made a version for our customers, so when I saw that the menu had, as they describe it, "Pulled chicken enchiladas, monterey jack, with sour cream poblano sauce," I knew I had to try it.

As you can see, I got the option with two enchiladas for $13 (you can get a third for another $3), which isn't bad based on just how much food there was on the plate. I don't know if this picture really does it justice, but a problem (or a bonus, depending on how you look at it) that we had were that all of our plates were enormous, especially Jon's, which you'll see in a bit. We ended up taking home two full takeout boxes, so really, it's like you're getting two dinner's worth of food for the price of one. In terms of taste, the enchiladas were very smooth and rich, and not overly-soggy. The sauce was mild but flavorful, and my only complaint would be that I was struggling to pick it up cleanly with my fork, which made it a bit messy (though that could be just an enchilada thing in general).

The rice is fairly good, it wasn't mind-blowing, but it was definitely better than my attempts at making mexican rice at home. It was subtley tomato-y without being too overpowering, and was a nice side dish. The beans, however, were very good, and I guess I've just never had good refried beans before, because I've always pictured them as being soggy and gritty, but these ones were neither. They were smooth and were topped with cheese, and went very well on our leftover tortilla chips. Overall, I would absolutely get this again, and I'll probably have the leftovers for lunch.

Grilled Steak Fajita Burrito

Jon: I can actually rate this one fairly, as the cilantro was only a garnish!

The rice was pretty good! I personally prefer my rice to stick, but overall, pretty good rice! The beans were pretty good refried beans, I just wish it had a bit more mozzarella (What can I say, I'm a whore for cheese). The main dish, the Steak Fajita Burrito, however, was an honest shocker. I was expecting something similar to what you would probably make at home, just with fancier ingredients. What I wasn't expecting was a monster of a burrito, slathered in a delicious cheese sauce with a wonderful kick of spiciness inside. And it was no slouch with the steak either, the whole thing was packed with it! I would have eaten it all if I wasn't told to save some space for dessert (I am eating the leftovers as I type this, it's even good cold).

My only issue is that, when ordering it, you have to specify that you want the burrito, NOT the fajita. The menu has this placed under the 'Burrito' section, with its name being 'Grilled Steak Fajita,' and there's also a fajita section with steak fajitas. Everything in the burrito section has fajita in the name, so be sure to specify, so as to not confuse the waiter!

Overall, with the sides and the massive size of it, definitely worth the $17 price!

Flan

River: Finally, we had one of my favourite desserts that I have to get every time I see it on a menu, flan! For those who don't know, it's a mexican caramel custard dessert, and the texture is a mix of jell-o and egg tart filling. I am a huge texture person and a lot of the way I experience and enjoy food is by how it feels in my mouth, and flan always feels so soft and luscious, it's great. This version was no exception to that high praise, and at just $8, I'd definitely get it again!

Jon: I had never had Flan before, so I was pretty excited with how much River had been hyping it up! The texture was nice and smooth, and it tasted pretty good! It's not my favorite dessert by a longshot, but i'll happily eat it again!

In Conclusion...

River: I'd say this is a fantastic restaurant with good food and reasonable prices. We spent about $90 there including a tip, and I think that's good given that it was a fun date and with the amount of leftovers we got out of it. I'd absolutely come back here again to try some more food, such as the Sopa de Tortilla ($6.50 cup/$10 bowl), the Pescado Tacos ($14.50 for 2/$16 for 3), the Carne Asada ($25), or the other yummy-sounding desserts like the Mexican Apple Pie or Mango Tres Leches (both $8.50). I'd definitely recommend it to someone who has a taste for quality mexican food that's a bit higher-end, or just anyone who likes flan like me.

Jon: I agree! Although I say some of it is a bit overpriced (Over a dollar per nacho!!), the food is good enough to warrant many return visits in the future! Will definitely have to try the 'Cancun' next time I'm there!

[theseusrightnipple]

theseus puts nair in zagreus’ shampoo. every day.

[1heartfanfics]

Prompt suggestion❤️: kaiser, Hazel, Nathan and Jackson are hanging out at a cabin for the weekend when Nathan starts to get sick, he puts off telling them how he feels until he can’t bear it anymore and starts throwing up. They all help take care of him.

OMG thanks so much, I love this one!! I’m a sucker for group fics and I actually don’t think I’ve written hardly any, which is crazy. Also, I kind of turned it into a little joke because they’ve got so many allergies between them lol (Jackson can’t have dairy, Kaiser can’t have gluten, Nathan can’t have corn or sesame)

“Hey, you guys want to head in and start on dinner?” Kaiser asked, pulling himself out of the water to sit on the deck. 

“Sounds good, I’m starving,” Hazel agreed.

“What are we making tonight?” Jackson asked, getting out of the lake as well.

“How about spaghetti,” Hazel suggested, swimming over to the dock to get out herself. She walked over to where Nathan was lounging in a deck chair to grab her towel. He wasn’t a big fan of being in the water so he’d opted to do some tanning instead. 

“Gluten,” Kaiser shook his head. “We could do enchilladas.”

“Corn,” Hazel shook her head, glancing at Nathan, who was making a face at the suggestion. “Potato soup?”

“Dairy,” Jackson shook his head. 

Huh. This was going to be more difficult than they thought. 

“I could grill up some hamburgers. Jackson  just won’t use cheese and I won’t use a bun,” Kaiser shrugged, wrapping himself up in a towel. 

“Nathan will probably have to do no bun as well cause I think they’re sesame buns,” Jackson said. 

“That’s fine,” Nathan mumbled, pushing himself up from the chair carefully and wrapping his own towel around himself, mostly to cover up how bloated he’d realized his stomach was. He hadn’t been feeling good since lunch but figured it would just get better if he just lounged around and took it easy, but in fact the opposite had happened. He felt worse than earlier. 

Sitting in the hot sun had made the upset in his stomach turn to nausea, sweat prickling on his skin and making him feel too hot and too cold at the same time. Maybe that was the fever talking, he was pretty sure he had one now. 

“You sure?” Hazel asked, leaning against his shoulder. He cringed, hoping she couldn’t feel the fever. She’d probably just assume if was from the sun though, he supposed.

“Yeah, lettuce burger is fine with me,” he shrugged, biting back a gag at the thought of eating anything. This was bad, this was really bad. The last place he wanted to be sick was at this cabin in the middle of nowhere with a group of people. But there was nothing he could do about it now, he was definitely sick. 

He followed the rest of them inside, hoping as a last ditch effort that the air conditioning inside would make him feel better. Maybe lunch had just upset his stomach and now he was overheated? Probably not. But it was worth a shot. 

After going inside he went to the bathroom, splashing some cool water on his face and wiping down his chest and his arms with a wet rag to cool him off. It didn’t help. Not enough anyway. It did feel good to hold something cold to his stomach though, which was definitely bloated, pressing against the waistband of his swim trunks. 

Nathan exited the bathroom and headed to the bedroom him and Hazel were staying in while they were at the cabin. He figured that the rest of them were in the kitchen starting on dinner, probably annoyed that he hadn’t stuck around to help. He couldn’t find himself to care at the moment though, he was starting to feel really bad.

As he walked down the hallway, he found that his vision was spinning, making him even more queasy. He hugged his belly as he stumbled into their room, arm pressed against the wall for support. To his surprise, however, Hazel was sitting on the bed looking at her phone. He immediately straightened up as much as he could, fighting dizziness and nausea. 

“Hey, there you are!” Hazel looked up, smiling when she saw him. The smile quickly faded when she saw how flushed he looked. She’d thought it was just from being out int he sun, but something had told her that it wasn’t just that. 

“I was in the bathroom,” he mumbled, his jaw feeling too heavy to speak. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. Nathan didn’t answer. There was a lump in his throat and his tummy was squeezing inside of him. He was afraid of what would happen if he opened his mouth. “Baby what’s wrong?” Hazel got up from the bed, quickly moving to Nathan’s side. She gently grabbed his arm to steady him just in time for him to pitch forward and vomit all over the floor, narrowly missing both of their feet. 

“Oh jeez, okay hon, you’re alright,” Hazel stuttered for a moment, obviously taken off guard, before regaining her composure. She wrapped an arm around him to keep him upright as he hunched forwards, continuing to gag up their lunch. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, and it definitely was not just from being outside. He had a fever for sure. 

“S-sorry, I couldn’t m-move, I-” Nathan cried once the heaves finally tapered off, tears falling down his flushed cheeks. 

“Aw sweetie, it’s not a big deal, I’ll clean it up no problem, come here,” she shushed him, pulling him into her arms. 

Nathan let out a sob, “I don’t feel good!” He pressed his face into her shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. 

“I’m so sorry Nath,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek and rubbing her hands up and down his back until he calmed down. Then she carefully pulled him away from the mess and led him over to sit on the bed. 

“I’m sorry,” he sniffed, “I didn’t want to ruin the weekend.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault. I’m just sorry you don’t feel well. I’ll take care of you though okay?” she told him, wiping the tears off of his cheeks with her thumb. 

She walked over to Nathan’s weekend bag and pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, tossing them onto the bed for him to change out of his swim suit. 

“I’m gonna go tell Kaiser and Jaz that you aren’t feeling good and get some stuff to clean up with. You change into something more comfy and lay down to relax, I’ll be right back,” Hazel said, exiting the room and pulling the door shut on her way out. 

Nathan sighed, hanging his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he’d just puked all over the floor of Kaiser’s parents cabin in front of his girlfriend. His tummy was still churning, so he pressed a hand to it, feeling his shorts digging into the underside of his belly. Hazel was right, he should change. He carefully put on the boxers and the shirt then crawled miserably under the covers, feeling suddenly cold. 

Hazel came back and checked on him a moment later, kissing his forehead, before moving to clean the floor. When she was finished she grabbed the trash can from the bathroom and placed it beside Nathan on the floor, just in case. When she sat down at the edge of the bed to check on him again, she found that he was fast asleep, arms cradling his sickly tummy. 

Good, she thought, maybe he just needs to sleep it off. 

[samtheflamingomain]

this is the police 2: 2 this 2 police

I had a love/hate relationship with This is The Police, a strategy game from 2016. It was hard, long, unforgiving, and at points downright infuriating. But it was worth it for the story.

I can't say the same for the sequel, cleverly named "This is The Police 2" instead of "This is Still The Police", or if they wanted to be accurate, "This is Barely The Police".

Because as hard, long and unforgiving as the first game was, it was all that to a point. I can't recall just how many millions of posts I came across during my playthrough that basically said, "It's supposed to be grueling and difficult and punishing," and they were largely right. The point of the game was, at times, to feel defeated. It SHOULD be really hard to run a cop shop while trying not to be the Mafia's bitch. Makes sense.

But there's always a line where you get diminishing returns. A game that must be played nearly perfectly to complete is a hard sell to me. I got through the first game with minimal help, but this one, for some missions I was following step-by-step from a Youtuber and it still took me 50 tries.

That's just the intro. I have a lot to say about this game, mostly bad. So let's get to it. Plot/Story, then gameplay, then miscellaneous thoughts.

In TITP 1, you are Jack Boyd, respected and well-liked Police Chief of Freeburg. By the end of the game, you're a loathed piece of corrupt garbage on the run from the FBI. I criticized the "choices" in the game because both endings, no matter your choice, were ultimately the same. You either end a corrupt cop, or a really corrupt cop.

I start with the first game's story because in TITP 2, the story is so wildly terrible that it hit me like the Harry Potter spinoffs, in that it almost ruined the original for me because it was so bad.

You still play as Jack Boyd, who gets arrested for reasons that I either missed because the subtitles fly by faster than any human can possibly read, or because they sent their writer on a cruise instead of making them come up with a reason.

There's very little reason for anything that happens in this game, which I will demonstrate by telling you what happens next: you, Boyd, someone extremely well-known, whose face has no doubt been on many a new channel in the time since the last game because you're on the run from the FBI, you are put in a drunk tank. When you come to, you are in a cell directly in front of the desk of the Police Chief of Sharpwood.

You manage to convince her that you're Jack Boyd, former Chief of Freeburg, on the run from the law (and why would you be telling her this? Unclear! Fuck you!) and she decides it'd be a swell idea if, y'know, she gave her entire damn job to a criminal who hasn't even made an effort to disguise himself in his flee from the feds. Surely none of the hundreds of cops that work there would recognize him. A former cop. A former Chief. Of. Police. On the run. From the FBI.

I'm not kidding. She lets you out, you go home, and come back the next day and start the game as the First Deputy of Sharpwood. I kind of feel like an insane person because I read nearly a dozen reviews of this game and not a single one addressed how absolutely batshit absurd this opening is. Let alone the rest of the "story"

I'm not even going to bother with the rest of the story because I literally could not suspend my disbelief enough to get past the first goddamn day on the job. To wrap up the shittiness of the plot, I'll just say it was boring, too long, and completely linear. No choices, no multiple endings. Jack Boyd is a shell of his character in the first game, I didn't care about him, and I could barely follow what was happening half the time. Characters just go ON AND ON about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for SEVERAL MINUTES at a time. A 5-minute cutscene could easily have been written as a 30-second cutscene, but hey, the game's 1/3 the length of the first, gotta pad it out somehow.

Onto the gameplay. This time round we have four kinds of gameplay. There's the regular dispatching of officers to crimes like in the first game, investigations like in the first game, turn-based assaults (like XCOM), new to this game, and finally, what I like to call the "HR" gameplay. Let's start there.

There's quite a few elements and mechanics that to me, seem like they'd fall under the jurisdiction of a Human Resource manager rather than the goddamn Chief of Police. This includes remembering things like how Officer Mustard refuses to work with women. Nothing you can do but fire him and be short-staffed! Or, since he has a lot of skills, you just put up with it. Just a whim you have to kowtow to! Spolick won't work with anyone ranked lower than her, and Bradhi won't work with those out of uniform. Those are 3 of about 12 fucking examples, out of 25-30 officers. Sounds like they need a team-building exercise so the Chief of Police doesn't need to have a goddamn Excel spreadsheet open to remember which assholes won't work with whom.

But it doesn't stop there! Not only get to be Chief and Head of HR, you also get to be a chef! On Day 12-ish, the precinct's kitchen staff just leaves, so now you have to plan fucking menus for 5-course meals for your officers. And as if that was tedious enough, all 30 of them have bullshit allergies or whiney shit like "I can't drink coffee because it reminds me of my dead aunt" (Not kidding). The one up-side to this annoying bit of gameplay is just seeing what the meal looks like after literally catering to your officers' every whim. Nothing like a nice bowl of Cajun chili to start, then sushi, a side of enchilladas, orange juice, and for desert, a donut. Or 15 servings of Bananas Foster. Only like $5 more.

The main game, sending officers on calls, seems a lot more complicated than it actually is, which is probably the only positive thing about it. In TITP 1, each officer had 2 stats: their "professionalism" (basically how experienced they are) and, literally, whether or not they're an alcoholic. That's all you need to know or ever will know. Send good cops to the calls? Good results, usually.

In 2 they beefed it up. Now each officer has 7 more stats: intelligence, negotiation (those two should be the fuckin same), shooting, speed, stealth (we do not need all 3 of these) and strength, as well as a stamina bar. Someone learned how to program in RPG stats and got too excited.

Now, I've read in most reviews that people don't like how "random" the calls seem to be. Now, unlike the last game, every single call requires action that you will dictate to the officers at the scene. You get 3 options on how to proceed. Say a robbery - shoot the perp, run after them, or taze them. Well, it's not random what happens. If you pick "run after them", and pick an officer with high speed skill to do this, success. The skills translate directly with these actions. I don't think I ever lost a single call because of something "random".

The same cannot be said of the tactical missions. To be kind... it functions. Barely. There's too many perks, many don't do much of anything, or are used once and never again. Also, adding in equipment was a mistake. Last thing you need is a surprise tactical mission at the end of the day and the only officer you can send that has a tazer is fuckin Persy with his 15 prof score and zero skills. Too many variables spoiled the pot that could've been a decent part of the soup of gameplay. Sorry, that analogy got away from me.

A lot of people will shit on how 90% of these missions need to be done with complete stealth, but aside from the one really, really hard one near the end, total stealth isn't too hard to do.

In TITP 1, I used a walkthrough for every single "investigation" where you have to put the images in order to recreate a crime, because the art style was too minimal to even tell what was happening in each frame. They heard that and put a label on each frame saying what it's depicting, so that's an upgrade. Overall, though, I'd say it's the only one done well.

Finally, stray thoughts. I mentioned how shitty the plot was, but also, so are the characters. Spoilers for the ending now, but let's be real, 90% of players won't bother playing through. Lilly is just a fucking doormat with no character development. Lana goes insane in 0 seconds flat and somehow keeps Boyd prisoner in his house while still letting him go to work? So then Boyd shoots her after a few days of that. Then what the hell, also strap a bomb to Lilly's snowmobile and kill her. Why? Very unclear! Fuck you!

Then, in the final scene, despite having literally shot someone in his house, Boyd's chillin in his chair while his courrier brings him groceries. It mirrors the opening scene in which a courrier brings him shittier groceries. What a development.

Jack did questionable things in TITP 1. And I played a "clean" game - I was as uncorrupt as the game allowed you to be. But in this game, he's just a pathetic drunk who goes through absolutely nothing, no character development, and STILL gives a shitty ending. Because, in the last game, the ending was shitty because it was kinda sad. Boyd wasn't a bad person. But in 2, he is. He's a dick for no reason and ends up on top, all enemies defeated, he's Chief of Police despite still being a wanted man. (Again, have I mentioned how stupid that is? He's not fucking Clark Kent.)

That's about all I got. 2/10, do not recommend. Even the highlights are hard to recall. Play the first game, though. That one, especially compared to this hot garbge, is worth the struggle.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.

[ursulaisadisneyprincess]

Food at Disneyland Paris

OK this didn’t live up to my hopes, but we didn’t go hungry!

We booked on a free half board offer, which gave us paper vouchers for a quick service breakfast from one particular restaurant in the Studios park, which just felt manipulative.  I get that they have difficulties getting people into the Studios park, but they would have more goodwill by tempting guests not forcing them!  We booked a 4* hotel, and our included breakfast was a 15 minute walk away then a 15 minute queue, for either a “Savoury” (€12 face value) or “Sweet (€9 face value) meal, which consisted of a hot drink from a machine - small portion of basic vending machine quality; a can of fruit juice; a perfectly decent, basic croissant or pain au chocolat; and either an Omelette Burger (omelette, thin slice of ham, slice of processed cheese, smear of soft cheese in a brioche bun) or, the sweet option, a small bread roll and jam.   We were told that we could upgrade to the hotel breakfast and pay the difference from the face value of the voucher - there was no monetary value printed on the voucher, that’d be too helpful.  On one hand it was free so for the price it was fine!  On the other hand it was a very poor quality offering.  

One of the features that makes the Disney experience special in the American parks, that was lacking in Disneyland Paris, was the way “Up-selling” is approached.  The US attitude is to make the base product appealing, but just pay a little extra and it’s EVEN better - whereas in Paris it was more that the base product is so sub-standard that you’re required to pay more to get a decent experience.  This was the case with several restaurants, and also things like ride photos - with the ride photos obscured so you can’t snap a cellphone photo and avoid paying for the Photopass. This made buying Photopass less attractive since you can’t see if the photo is worth buying!  Whereas the American parks say “Sure, take a quick pic, but isn’t this a fun one?  It’s worth your money to get the good quality picture to share with friends, and keep the magical memories!”  It feels more generous, more inviting than going “NO YOU HAVE TO BUY IT!”

We booked three Table Service meals with our half-board “Plus” menu vouchers, and two buffets.  There’s “Standard”, “Plus” and err... the top rank of vouchers.  Technically the buffets are below the “Plus” vouchers, being meals costing about €30, whereas the table service set menus for the “Plus” vouchers were around €40. 

Buffets - our first night we ate at “La Grange at Billy Bob’s” in the Disney Village.  It was pretty chaotic to figure out where we were meant to go, people milling around, blocking doors, cast members overwhelmed and rude. Being our first time using these vouchers, we didn’t know the procedure - that’s not ok for a cast member to snap at us for not hearing his mumbled instructions in a noisy room. Rude.  Still.  The food was actually really good, plenty of options, and a good range of tasty desserts.  It all packed up pretty early - because it was the night we arrived, we had an 8.30 booking, and by 9.30 they were beginning to clear away. On a friday night... 

The next night we had the Agrabah Cafe booked, another buffet, promising interesting middle-eastern inspired menu.  We waited ages to be seated, which meant our 7.30 booking meant eating at closer to 8pm.  Again they were packing up as we were still eating.  Maybe I do buffets wrong, but I like to get a “starter” and nibble various things, then go back for a main course.  Well, several things were already gone by the time I went to get more, and there weren’t that many options to begin with!  By the time we got to dessert, we seemed to be the last people eating - so it would have been a shame to waste the baclava and cakes.  We did eat well! But again, by 9pm we were being waited on to leave. 

Sunday Night we had Captain Jack’s booked for 7pm.  This was one where the up-selling was heavy handed - our vouchers entitled us to €36 worth of á la carte if we didn’t want to eat off the very limited set menu.  It’s a beautiful place - low lighting, tropical decor, and being the restaurant attached to Pirates of the Caribbean, it was warm and humid, delicious after the arctic winds outside.  We didn’t dally, but again, by the time we had our desserts, we were the last guests in the restaurant.  Our server did a masterful job of “ok I know you’re still eating desserts but here’s the bill can you pay and leave now please!”  Genuinely - she was so polite and pleasant about it, and rushed us as little as she could but... they needed to close up.  The food was... adequate at best. It was fine.  If I’d paid €18 that would have been a decent meal, but so over-priced!  We did have a pretty magical experience leaving though, as the last guests in the very back of Adventureland, we had the whole land to ourselves, and a couple of cast members politely and pleasantly directing us out!

Monday, we used our vouchers for lunch at the Silver Spur in Frontierland.  Again our €39-ish set menu was limited but offered solid options.  The food was “Harvester” standard steak, chips. Nice cheesecake. It was fine.  If it had been cheap, it’d be cheap and cheerful, but it was a long way from cheap!  And these table service restaurants are meant to be the signature dining experiences.  

Quick Service lunches in the park wasn’t much better a story - solid 30 minute queues for the most basic burger and fries, or hot dog.  Fuente Del Oro gave us our best quick service, and also a dilemma...  along with tasty beef enchilladas, we had Churros for dessert. But - authentic churros, small, horse-shoe shaped churros, not the Disneyland Churros you could fence with! A very tasty snack for sure, but would you prioritise authenticity, or the unique Disney experience?  I think this is one time I would have rather had the Disney special over the cultural experience. 

Compared to eating at the American parks, this was such a disappointment.  Sure, if you stop at Cosmic Rays or Electric Umbrella you can be waiting half an hour for sub-standard over-priced junk food, but you also have the option to turn the corner to Columbia Harbor House, or Sunshine Seasons, and enjoy really tasty good food!  

The voucher system was confusing and so old fashioned.  I’d thought the Disney Dining Plan at Walt Disney World had been confusing, but its points-based system is so simple compared to vouchers, booking reservations by phone (well worth booking in advance), negotiating what we can and can’t cash in....  DLP really needs to get a grip on the quality of food, the pricing, the speed of service, the complicated system...  It all works so much better across the pond, so I’m very hopeful that now the resort is fully owned by the Walt Disney Company, they can bring across their knowledge and bring Paris in line!