#i had tried to provide as much reason for what they do in cannon lore as possible

[mothsakura]

u should talk more about your UI thought i want to hear them i am intrigued

Oh yes absolutely! (note: this is all pre-spearmaster. I am currently in the process of writing out what'd happen in the campaign timelines) So first off: pre-ascension I think both UI's colony and UI's council were mostly made up of rich or religious people searching for job and business opportunities. Their council saw them as their pride and joy, definitely spoiled them a LOT. UI was also quite sheltered, not really being allowed to interact with fellow iterators, for a while the only "friends" they had were their council. Unfortunately spoiling your iterator, especially in the early stages of it's AI developing, is not a good way to teach it how to socialize with fellow iterators. Thus UI was often quite snooty pre-ascension, as well as very judgemental :( This of course didn't make them the most trustworthy iterator to have in a group, a lot of early lore (pre-ascension) relations with their group were... rough... to say the least! They had quite the habit to get into arguments! Well flash forward to after mass-ascension, UI's colony was one of the first to leave. (This gave them a resentment against Ascensionism, and by extension Sliver and the sliverists as well...) Yes UI had all these wills signed over to them, all these fancy and expensive items, but they had to learn the hard way that when they get lonely, they cannot throw all of the money and cool items at someone to make a friend. With loneliness and guilt at their past actions eating them from the inside out, UI decided to instead observe other fellow iterators to see what will help their loneliness. They had discovered that sharing something people would find interesting gives you attention, which is what they thought they needed to help their loneliness. Now where will they get interesting information? Group gossip of course! And so they began sharing some group gossip on the global broadcast network in hopes of gaining some attention... They certainly gained attention alright, not good attention, but attention nonetheless. They saw this as success. They thought that this is what friendship was, and surely now that thousands of eyes were on them, they surely had many many friends.. right? Well eventually they got bored of that too, you couldn't really talk to many people if they either distrusted you or just wanted to get gossip from you. They went to their group instead, and would mimic particularly NSH's behaviors or FP's behaviors in hopes of getting to be friends with them. While it annoyed Pebbles that UI was being such a copy cat, NSH found it endearing. UI and NSH had a friendship at first, until NSH became rather good friends with SRS... who UI did not like.. AT ALL. UI, thinking that NSH replaced them, went to go gossip about NSH and SRS on the broadcast network. NSH found out, was rather unhappy, and it soured the friendship, with UI soon losing contact with NSH. UI was rather confused, confused and guilty, they definitely did something wrong. LttM seemed like a good friend, so UI tried to get LttM's attention, they however failed because good ol' FP was in the way! Even pre-spearmaster, I do not think FP was doing all that good mentally, I think LttM was really busy trying to make sure that FP was alright. This is where UI's and FP's rivalry began. UI saw FP was an obstacle, FP saw UI as an annoying little brat. Thats sort of where it leaves off for now, the next bit would be spear master campaign! I am planning to post more about this au more in the future, so i can surely say that more lore would be coming soon!

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 26/2021) - L’Sandburg

Foolish and Puffy are both reeling from the events of the Red Banquet. Foolish confronts a familiar foe in his mind while Puffy works through her grief.

After Foolish’s lore, Bad, Antfrost, Purpled, HBomb and Foolish get involved in a new conflict, as Bad declares his  walled-off tollbooth on Foolish’s road a new nation called “L’Sandburg.” Foolish, mad that Bad would attempt to occupy a spot on his land, intervenes. Bad ends up declaring war.

Later, after things settle, Puffy is invited to L’Sandburg but instead attempts to take over the nation, declaring it “L’Puffburg.”

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Captain Puffy

---

- There’s a flashback to the Red Banquet from Foolish’s perspective, watching as Puffy and Antfrost argue.

- As Foolish dies, the screen goes black. The Egg speaks.

"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME AGAIN.”

- Foolish gasps and wakes in the green beacon light within the Temple of Undying. He’s confused -- he’s immortal. But that was different.

The Egg makes noises, then speaks -- but not in reverse.

“I...am..in your mind...”

“I am IN YOUR SOUL.”

“No, no no no no, this is -- this is just tricks! Games! This is just something new!”

“IT IS NOT A TRICK.”

“Is this -- is this the Egg? It’s tough to forget a voice like that.”

“CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT. I HAVE MANY NAMES AS YOU KNOW, BUT YOU’VE FORGOTTEN.”

“What do you mean? No no no, I have never heard you before, it wasn’t that long ago that I first met you. You’re something new, something I’ve never met before.”

“I AM AN ANCIENT ONE. EVEN MORE ANCIENT THAN YOU.”

“So I guess...I guess I was wrong -- I’m not afraid of you! Even after all that, I am still not afraid.”

“AFRAID? YOU ARE TRULY FOOLISH IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN ME! YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID.”

“Maybe...maybe I had it wrong. Maybe I thought I was stronger. But...but I’m still here! I’m still here. And where are you? How’d that Banquet go?”

“FOOLISH...WHEN WE MET, YOU SAID YOU FEARED NOTHING. BUT NOW? I CAN SENSE YOUR FEAR, FOOLISH.”

“No...no.”

“YOU FEAR DEATH ITSELF, DON’T YOU?”

“No, no...you don’t know! You don’t know anything about me!”

“I...KNOW WHO YOU ARE...EVEN THOUGH...YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME OF WHAT YOU ARE.”

“And? Enlighten me, tell me something. Tell me something that only I would know!”

“I KNOW...OF YOUR SECRET PLACE THAT YOU HAVE TOLD OF NO OTHER!”

“Be more specific.”

“FOOLISH...I KNOW WHAT YOU KEEP IN THERE. FOOLISH...”

“You could be lying. Where?”

“HOW CAN I BE LYING, WHEN I CAN HEAR YOUR VERY THOUGHTS?”

“How do I get you out of my head? I’m not -- you’re still trying to get me to join your side, that’s not gonna happen!”

“FOOLISH...YOU ARE WEAK! FOOLISH. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE! BUT YOU CHOOSE PEACE. AND YOU WASTE YOUR DAYS BUILDING...PATHETIC. YOU HAVE MORE POWER THAN YOU KNOW.”

“No...no, you have it wrong! I’ve tried that, okay? I’ve tried power in the past and it doesn’t work! It doesn’t work. You can’t just use overwhelming force. It worked for short term at best.”

“POWER! POWER IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, FOOLISH! YOU OF ALL SHOULD KNOW THAT. HOW ELSE CAN YOU SAVE YOURSELF FROM DYING, FOOLISH?”

“You think...you think I’m weak? You think there’s strength -- there’s strength in what I do! Let me explain to you. Let me explain to you why I build.”

“Before, I was reckless and wild. I used to believe wielding godlike powers and a sword gave me some sort of control. But it all led me down a path of violence, and anger, mistrust. I can’t control the actions of the world through overwhelming power. It doesn’t work, just doesn’t. But building provides two important elements in my life. Creation and control...”

- Foolish walks back to the mainland as the Egg continues to speak with him.

- Foolish heads to Church Prime as the Egg keeps asking to join him. It says that it knows about Foolish’s deal with Ranboo.

“Hm. So maybe you do know something. Which is all the more reason I need to be rid of you. And you can go back to whatever dark abyss of the Nether you came from!”

“FOOLISH, STOP. WHY ARE WE FIGHTING? IT’S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO JOIN ME. I WILL MAKE YOU STRONG AGAIN. DEEP DOWN YOU MISS THE POWER YOU ONCE HELD. 

GO BACK TO BEING A TOTEM OF DEATH, AND TOGETHER, WE CAN RULE AND CREATE PEACE. PEACE IS WHAT YOU WANT. RIGHT, FOOLISH?”

- Foolish tells the Egg it doesn’t work that way. The Egg says it can and it will. Foolish asks if it has any last words.

“I AM A PART OF YOU, FOOLISH. YOU CANNOT GET RID OF ME.”

“No...then I mean this in the most polite way possible...”

“Go to Hell.”

- Foolish submerges himself in the waters of Church Prime as the Egg shouts. When he emerges, it’s gone.

- He wonders if anyone is still alive from the Banquet. He walks down the Prime Path, not understanding why he’s afraid of death.

“There was that brief second before that sword...I don’t see beauty in mortality.”

- He jumps down into the spider spawner and makes his way down the hallway, but he hesitates. He needs to calm down.

- Foolish heads back home. Did the Egg know better than him? Is it saying things that he’s afraid to admit? 

- He makes it back to the temple, wondering if it’s really safe. Even if he can die, why is he so afraid? 

- He opens the secret door and walks down the staircase. He still doesn’t fault the members of the Eggpire for the Egg’s control. He retrieves his things from the basement.

- He just needs to rest. Foolish returns to the beacon light.

---

- Bad creates a three-block-wide area on Foolish’s path to the Nether portal and claims ownership of it. He constructs walls around it and declares it the Town of L’Sandburg. 

- As a gift, Foolish gives Bad a bed and the HBomb catmaid service coupon.

- Bad creates Halobucks. Antfrost arrives to help Bad, and they request more sandstone to build with.

- Foolish gives Antfrost the Sword of XD to kill Bad with. Now, Antfrost and Bad have defenses for L’Sandburg. They refuse to give the sword back.

- Foolish attempts to negotiate with Antfrost to kill Bad in exchange for the supplies. Antfrost is reluctant, as Bad is the ruler of L’Sandburg and he doesn’t with to betray his country.

- Antfrost changes into his maid skin. Foolish asks for his sword back.

- They do an exchange of supplies, but Bad doesn’t give Foolish his sword. Foolish, frustrated that he is unable to break his vow of pacifism, calls in some help: he tells HBomb about the possibility of maid service for Bad.

- Purpled joins the call and logs on. Bad invites him to join L’Sandburg.

- Bad and Ant inform Foolish that he must pay a toll to pass through the path.

- Purpled arrives to join L’Sandburg. He is their lawyer.

- Foolish gets Purpled to kill Bad and then pays him. Purpled also kills Antfrost.

- Foolish says he’ll give Purpled a block of Netherite. Antfrost offers emeralds, but Purpled weighs the options and decides Foolish’s offer is better and continues to kill the L’Sandburgians.

- Bad threatens to declare it an international incident.

- Purpled starts mining bits of L’Sandburg, but Bad stops him, saying he has to take it up with the court. Purpled isn’t one for politics. Bad warns them that if they continue, he’ll have to declare war.

- Bad says they’re bringing HBomb over to act as a judge. Purpled says that’s his cue to leave and heads off. Foolish lets him know that he might need a favor later.

- HBomb arrives in his catmaid outfit and Ant asks him to join L’Sandburg. HBomb becomes a citizen of L’Sandburg. 

- Bad hands Foolish a representation of the court papers (a single arrow) as HBomb exits L’Sandburg to carve out his own country neighboring them. Ant says he can have dual citizenship. 

- H creates a running stream of water and a wall of wood and declares his new country: L’damburg.

- He also creates a seat in the sun and offers Foolish take some time in L’tanburg.

- He then makes a ton of cars and welcomes Foolish to L’jamburg.

HBomb: “Wait, are you streaming?”

Foolish: “Yeah.”

HBomb: “Welcome to L’camburg.”

(Foolish tells chat to never become a pacifist)

- HBomb lights a piece of TNT and explodes L’tanburg, declaring it now L’bamburg. 

- Bad declares that L’Sandburg’s borders, now the entire chunk, have now extended into L’damburg. They now have territory for agriculture.

- Foolish asks, how are they even a country? Do they even have a declaration? One way or another, Foolish says, they can have their little fantasy for a bit but then L’Sandburg is getting destroyed.

- Rat is a canonical L’Sandburg member

- He asks how to make a TNT cannon. Bad warns him against that, saying it would violate their peace treaty.

- Bad declares war on Foolish’s summer home over a piece of cake.

- Bad annexes a block of cactus into L’Sandburg. Foolish is outraged, insisting that this is his land.

Bad: “You will rue the day, Foolish, you started war with L’Sandburg.”

- Bad starts building a wooden one-block-wide pathway to annex territory to the cactus. Foolish gives in and says that they can have this strip of land officially, but not anymore land or else Foolish will have to bring in necessary forces.

- After learning that the cactus has been around for centuries, Bad realizes that L’Sandburg must be older than Foolish’s summer home!

Bad: “Everything the eye can see must be L’Sandburg!”

...

Foolish: “The strength of my patience is the reason you’re alive.”

- HBomb gets injured from falling outside the strip and Bad says Foolish needs to pay for the damages.

- To be good neighbors, Bad offers to let Foolish keep the strip and the cactus, and L’Sandburg and L’Damburg will stay within their chunks. In exchange for the ancient cactus, Bad requests stacks of sandstone.

- HBomb pulls Bad aside, suggesting they form a new nation: L’hamburg. They claim another chunk.

- Bad starts building a statue to Rat. Foolish blurts that he doesn’t want a statue of that “ugly creature” and Bad and H both stop and look at him. HBomb immediately starts building a wall between them.

- Foolish walks into L’Sandburg, checks a chest and is outraged when he finds that the L’Sandburgians/L’damburgians have been stealing supplies from him. 

- Foolish insults how ugly L’hamburg is. Bad leaves. 

- HBomb explains that he is not a citizen of L’Sandburg now, but L’damburg, and that L’bamburg and L’damburg are the same.

- Foolish tells HBomb that he will wait and get rid of L’Sandburg later. HBomb asks if that’s a threat.

Foolish: “That wasn’t a threat, just a promise.”

Foolish: “We strike at dawn.”

- HBomb points out that Foolish hired Purpled to kill them. He’s the judge.

- While H continues to work on L’damburg, Foolish performs the Shift Dance.

- Bad returns. H has to leave, but he tells Bad to keep an eye on the ‘burgs. Bad suggests he and Foolish create a peace treaty. 50% off toll, and in exchange they have peace.

- Foolish asks, what if someone else isn’t peaceful? Bad would consider that an act of war on his part. He offers to gift Foolish L’hamburg.

- The only thing, Bad says, is that Foolish can’t get rid of the L’Sandburg capital. With that, he departs.

- Foolish says he might keep the tower, but he’ll have to do this later.

---

- Puffy examines her Netherite axe. The axe that she killed her best friend with. She still can’t believe what happened. Worse than Foolish dying, she stooped to their level and took a life. She swore she wouldn’t be like them.

- Antfrost was right. She failed. She understands why people didn’t fight for L’manburg now.

“Chaos always wins. Despite all odds, despite everything you think you can do to fix the situation, to help each other, to persevere...you can’t.”

- She doesn’t know where Foolish is, but killing Antfrost didn’t fix anything. 

- There’s somewhere she hasn’t been in a long time. She’s done with Bad, done with Ant -- but at least Ant has a reason to hate her now. By killing Foolish, they’d hurt her more than if they’d killed her.

- Nothing excuses what she did. She’ll face the consequences for killing Antfrost later. She acted on her emotions, but she’d do it again.

“Maybe the only way to have people listen to me, to take me seriously, is to instill fear in them. And that’s not who I want to be, but if it’s who I have to be, if I have to be the villain in everyone’s story? Then that’s the choice I’ll make.”

- The Captain’s Log was meant to document her progress as a knight. Now, this book is her undoing. She goes down into her underground base, looking at the signs on the wall.

“You can’t connect the dots, you can’t see anything coming because everybody you think you know about everyone on this server is a lie! Everything you know, you can’t trust anybody!”

“Even the sweetest of people, the closest of people, the people that you have trusted since day one? They’ll turn, because everybody on this server has a dark side, whether they like to think it or not, whether it’s been shown yet, whether it’s been revealed, everybody -- everybody including me! Including the quote unquote ‘mother,’ the ‘protector of the server,’ even me! Because I could be worse than all of them! And the best part is is that they’ll never see it coming.” 

“Some people are predictable...I’m not one of them.”

- Puffy writes in her Captain’s Log, changing “What it means to be a knight” to “What it means to be a villain...”

DON’T TRUST ANYONE.

NOT EVEN YOURSELF.

A DAY WILL COME WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND BE THE PERSON YOU RECOGNIZE LEAST IN THIS WORLD.

“Trust...trust is the biggest weakness there is. Trust is what separates strangers from friends. From security, from vulnerability. Trust is weakness, and...on this server, you can’t have any weakness, because if they find out, if anybody finds out you have a weakness, they’ll use it against you.”

- A new era of peace isn’t going to happen. Puffy will bring a new era of darkness. There are few people who haven’t broken their loyalty yet, and she’ll keep an eye out. But to the people that failed her, 

“To those people, I say...’welcome to Doomsday.’“

---

- After discussion about Puffy’s height, Bad tells Puffy that he’s forming a new nation if she would like to join. A nation called L’Sandburg.

- Puffy arrives at L’Sandburg. The capital tower has been renovated, the base reinforced with obsidian.

- Puffy asks if this is canon. Bad says yes, this is his tower. (After Puffy gets mad at him for killing her son, Bad says it’s maybe not that level of canon)

- Bad lets Puffy into the L’Sandburg capital.

- Puffy asks what the point of L’Sandburg is. Bad explains that it’s a sort of tollbooth on Foolish’s road. The toll depends on how much armor a person is wearing. The more shiny, fancy armor, the higher the toll, because that person can afford to pay more.

- Puffy starts twerking to test the road durability. She pays a toll of carrots with one steak. Bad plans to increase toll amounts as the nation improves infrastructure. 

- Bad tries to arrest Puffy and put her into toll jail for bypassing the toll, but he gives up and walks away when she says no. Puffy points out that his security system is not very good, and Bad starts to see the problem here.

- Puffy walks into the toll booth and Bad asks her to pay a toll of five carrots this time. The price has gone up due to inflation. Puffy turns the tables and starts charging Bad toll to enter L’Sandburg, declaring this territory “L’Puffburg.”

- Bad bypasses the toll by saying he’s ready for hot girl summer and agrees to let Puffy keep ownership of the top floor of the capital.

- L’Sandburg is apparently Bad’s “vacation country.”

- Bad and Puffy hang out in L’Sandburg/L’Puffburg some more and Bad plays around sticking his head out of sand and doing various voices.

- Antfrost arrives. 

- Ant changes into Badboyhalo in a maid outfit.

- Bad and Antfrost fight. Antfrost runs out of L’Sandburg and Bad chases after him, threatening to take his second canon life, telling him to accept his death like a good potato.

- Antfrost kills Bad. Puffy tells them to put their weapons away so that they can have a proper duel. They fight a second time.

- Ant and Puffy say goodnight and leave Bad to work in L’Sandburg.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[pianosmp]

Who was Pandora’s Vault originally for

(Because I have been thinking about this for far too long)

(Sorry if some of these are a little old, I forgot I made this like a month ago so I cleaned it up and here we are)

This list will go from most likely to least likely character.

Likely

- Technoblade (arguably the most likely option simply because when you mention “powerful enough to be a problem” the first thing you think of is Techno. He’s notoriously strong and unafraid to oppose Dream. Also seeing as the prison ‘changed purpose’ it implies Dream no longer saw the original intended prisoner as a threat, or at least as much of a threat, as Tommy)

- BBH (Dream’s old friend, implied more powerful then a regular human. Plus by this point the egg plot on the Dream SMP had already started. There may have been ‘good intentions’ originally. As dumb as it sounds, I’d also count putting the egg itself in jail here)

- Wilbur Soot (revived, of course. It’s been established that a revived Wilbur would be more dangerous then ever, and if Dream had any inking of this beforehand the prison would be the best way to fully utilize his power. Those not in the know would be blackmailed to keep him safe, and Wilbur could also provide some added chaos to the SMP as a whole, which may end up working in Dream’s favor. And now that he is revived by Dream, we know he’s a threat in some capacity, though seemingly not to Dream himself. Don’t forget, anyone who tries to break out Dream may be hunted down and placed in the prison themselves (or, as in the contract for visiting, “killed until they’re completely dead”))

- Ranboo (Ranboo is tied to Dream in some significant way, seeing as he was used by Dream in some of his plans in some capacity. While a help, I’m sure it could also have been turned into a threat of the wrong things were to get out. Also for meta gaming purposes that get him higher on this list, Dream and Ranboo have collaborated with lore in the past and clearly trust each other to carry the torch. Furthermore, with current Ranboo Enderwalk lore, we’ve learned that rather then just being a servant for Dream, there’s a chance the Enderwalk state was manipulated by Dream who perhaps claimed he was doing it for the greater good of the server. But more introspection on the Enderwalk state is a post for another day)

- Karl Jacob (time travel implies two things. Power and unpredictable nature. Seeing as Karl keeps most changes to himself though and seems to be self destructing either the prison is no longer needed for him or he was never considered a real threat in the first place)

- Philza Minecraft (Phil is notably dangerous, though less then Technoblade. He’s got big hostage potential due to his one life predicament and big use potential due to his knowledge in Minecraft)

- Foolish__Gamers (a literal god, and has recently shown godly powers. This would either involve pre planning on someone’s part though, which the Dream SMP isn’t particularly known for, or making this the original prisoner in a retcon “we’ll figure it out later” manner. It would be interesting though, as the prison may have been repurposed after Dream realized Foolish was at this point in time a big pacifist)

- Quackity (he’s dangerous with his tongue, but I don’t think his physical strength is enough for there to be a whole prison containing him. Not to say he doesn’t play to his other strengths- I bet he’d have an easier time convincing someone to break him out then most. And if anything else, Dream’s worries about him as a threat are now justified due to the whole ‘torture every day’ thing)

- Shlatt (a similar situation as Wilbur, but at the bottom because he’s useless as a hostage and currently still dead)

- Dream Himself (okay, so his reluctance to be in the prison makes it seem like he wouldn’t want it to be for him, but if he’s playing like the super long con somehow and the Prison is either to keep threats like the egg out or to make it seem like he’s powerless...)

Maybe?

- Dream XD (wild, and like Foolish, Dream XD wasn’t a lore concept until later in the prison’s development, back when Techno and Phil were building their Anarchy Table, but it would be an interesting twist. Especially because we don’t know if the two have any connection beyond their names)

- Jack Manifold (yeah he died and came back, but that doesn’t change the fact that he died in the first place. Plus he just hasn’t really gotten to Dream with any of his antagonistic attempts)

- Captain Puffy (mysterious past pog. But in all seriousness, she’s seen as being likable and just, doing her best to do the right thing even when making the decision to become a Villain later on with the Eggpire arc. And while she started as a ‘janitor’, she did join the server before the prison began its construction)

- Niki (she’s dangerous now but not to Dream whose locked away and gone from her ire. Also again wasn’t a threat before the prison was planned, though who knows how much Dream knew of everyone’s mental states back when he was planning)

- Fundy (also doubtful, but coder man do be coding, especially with mods now allowed on the SMP. And now with the revelation of his prophetic dreams, there’s a chance this may be the power Dream feared, especially if said powers were in the works beforehand)

- Hbomb (idk he’s got good strategy as seen with Vault Hunters and MCC and stuff but he doesn’t really use it on the Dream SMP as he prefers parkour challenges or just chillin. Perhaps would only be locked up because the Maidbomb is too powerful)

- Eret (yeah they are a monarch who doesn’t like Dream but they really do have no control and no one on their side so unless the Herobrine thing comes into play this one doesn’t make much sense either)

- Ponk (like Eret he doesn’t have much influence over others. More importantly though, all the trouble he’s made so far has been just annoying at worst. His biggest strength is probably how stubborn he is, and how long he’s been around. To quote Eret, “He’s like the John Wick of the Dream SMP.”)

- Antfrost (only if the manhunt series is cannon in the Dream SMPand Dream has flashbacks to when cat boy killed him with a potion like a chump. Though I will say there’s a non zero chance Manhunt is cannon from the comments all the hunters have made during lore bits)

- Hannah Rose and Purpled (TBH both of them are grouped here since they’re most notably physically strong due to their Bedwars experience. But Purpled is rarely ever on, and Hannah joined after prison construction had already started)

- Punz (the only reason the prison would be for him when he knew explicitly about it and could have won is Dream was threatened by his speedrun skills)

- Sapnap (objection your honor that’s too sad. For real, this is probably higher on the Mabye list due to being a big threat, as seen by the ‘I’ll hunt you down if you escape’ exchange he had while visiting Dream. Sapnap makes his decisions based of what he feels is fair, rather then loyalty (a majority of the time anyways) and furthermore he’s one of the people that knows the most about Dream. However, it’s this low because if it’s Sapnap I’d simply cry maybe)

- Mexican Dream (Dream did dislike the guy. However, he lost all his canon lives in the span of one afternoon so how much of a threat was he really?)

For sure not

- Tommy (confirmed by Dream it wasn’t originally for him during the final disk confrontation)

- Tubbo (also confirmed by Dream it wasn’t originally for him during the same confrontation)

- Skeppy (why would he have a prison in Dream’s funky dungeon if he had a better prison elsewhere?)

- Conner, Slime, Lazar, Vikk (simply not on enough for an intense prison lore stream)

- George (too pretty)

- Callahan (too cool. Also part-time is the server)

- Awesamdude (he was recruited to build the prison and be its warden when the time came. Literally the worst person to put in the prison)

- Michaelmcchill (bro he was added today)

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Top 10 Obscure Christmas Specials II:

 Guys! Guys! I'll get to the review proper in a second, but remember last year when I talked about A Cranberry Christmas? I said that it was lost media. WELL IT'S BEEN FOUND! HALLELUJAH! [link]

 Hell-ho ho ho everybody! My name is JoyofCrimeArt, and it's that time of year again! Christmas time is upon us, and there is no escaping it! The radio is playing the same ten Christmas songs on loop (nine if they've already banned Baby, It's Cold Outside.) The feeling of kindness and generosity shared between you and your fellow man. And best of all, their finally airing all those weird ass Christmas and holiday specials.  I love Christmas specials! Even the not very good one's usually have SOMETHING good about them! Whether it be some kind of festive ambiance, a good message, or just being very easy to make fun of. Sure, everybody knows about the classics Christmas specials. Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, ect. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. But with Christmas being such a massive holiday, There are THOUSANDS of other Christmas and holiday specials out there that mostly go unnoticed every year! And while most of these specials go unnoticed for a reason, some are actually worth a watch, and act as hidden gems. And that'd why I'm here. To count down five more of these weird, bizarre, and unknown Christmas specials, that way you can check them out before the holidays are over. This is 5 Obscure Christmas Specials You Should Watch Part II.  Now, I've done this before last year. (Link here if you haven't seen it. Top 5 Obscure Christmas Specials You Should Watch:) As such I'm going to be following the same rules as I did last time. I'll be ranking these specials not by quality, but by how much you should watch them! Because sometimes a bad or cheesy Christmas special can provide more entertainment value than a really good one. But don't take the number ranking to seriously. This is mostly just a showcase of bizarre specials that you might not have heard of, and the actually number rankings aren't really the focus here. But with all that said, let's get this started with... Number 5: Neo Yokio: Pink Christmas (2018) (Oh, the Cringe!)  Just like to remind all of you that this is still running while Daredevil is canceled. Anyway, Jaden Smith is back! Just in case six episodes just wasn't synergy for you, now there is a Christmas special. Neo Yokio's Pink Christmas. This sixty-six minute long movie continues the story of Kaz Kaan, Neo Yokio's second most eligible bachelor and top demon hunter. The special opens with him having a cold around the holidays as his robot butler, Charles, tells him an original Christmas tale to make him feel better.  Said tale follows Kaz as he has to prepare for the Neo Yokio top bachelor secret Santa contest. He finds out that he has to find a gift for his arch rival, Arcangelo. Being uninteresting in giving his rival a present, he hires a shopkeeper named Herbert Sims to handle the secret Santa contest for him. And while this is all going on he also has to deal with his Aunt Angelique visiting Neo Yokio for the holidays. But when both demonic forces and Arcangelo have plans to ruin Christmas, it's up to Kaz to set things right.  If you've seen season one of this show, this special is more of the same. However, It is a bit more refined in it's doing so for the most part. I feel like there is more INTENTIONAL comedy overall compared to the first season. And I do like how this special manages to balance both the demon hunter and the bachelor aspect of Kaz's character. As oppose to the first season, where it felt like the show forgot half way through that it was suppose to be about demon hunting. We even get some more backstory and world building on the history of Neo Yokio and the Great Demon War, which is definitely a welcome addition. And Arcangelo, much like in season one, continues to be one of the highlights. He's like a cross between Phantom Blood's Dio Brando and Jake Paul. I love him. So I like how this special has him in a more major role.  I also like some of the themes presented in the "message" of the special. How corporations around the holidays essentially try to monetize anti-materialism for there own benefit. "Sure, we'll air specials like the Grinch and Charlie Brown. Specials that are meant teach you that Christmas isn't about consumerism. Just as long as you sit through all the ads we place in the middle. It's a legit and kinda smart message that I haven't really seen tackled before. But like Neo Yokio season one I don't really know where the show stands on this topic. Is it pro or against capitalism? Maybe it's trying to show that there's no right or wrong answer, but it ends up feeling more confused than anything else.  However, what does annoy me about this special is *Spoiler Warning?* the whole thing is, presumably, not cannon. I know that from the beginning we know that it's all a story told by the butler. But I was expecting some kind of twist where everything we heard would have actually happened somehow. Like Kaz would say "Wait, didn't that all happen last week Charles?" or something. Like a joke. Cause you know, this show is supposedly a comedy. But no, it's all just a story. So all the lore and world building that was actually somewhat interesting serves absolutely no point! *Spoiler Warning Over* I can't believe I let Jaden Smith trick me yet again.  In conclusion, what you see is what you get here. If you want to see a Jaden Smith anime Christmas special, than Neo Yokio Pink Christmas is the special for you. Check it out for the clout.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLVazo8J9uE

You know what, I change my mind. Screw "There About to Warp!" this is my new favorite Toonami promo. Number 4: Crunchyroll's Christmas Special (2015) and Crunchyroll's Holiday Special (2017) (Oh, the Cringe!)  Now this is as bizarre and obscure as it comes. Just in case Neo Yokio wasn't enough for you to get your fill of vaguely anime themed Christmas nonsense, we have not one but TWO different Holiday specials brought to you from the lovely people of Crunchyroll. For a company as big and professional as Crunchyroll, you would think that any kind of special that they would make would have to be at least somewhat well produced, safe, and marketable, right? But that's not what this is at all.  What we basically got here is two half hour long "variety show" style specials that were released on both Crunchyroll and Youtube. Both specials are pretty much the same in terms of content. There both just a smorgasbord of random sketches, out of context anime clips, straight up ads for their own service and merch. All themed around the holidays and anime. This special has a real [adult swim] vibe to it, relying on a lot of surreal humor and anti-comedy. In fact, it might of even out [adult swim]'d [adult swim] in it's sheer bizarreness. It's honestly pretty hard to describe without just telling you to see the special for yourself.  Both specials are hosted by some guy named Mike Toole. I don't know who this guy is, but he's one of the best things about these special. He's just portrayed as this bumbling goof who's just unfazed by everything but really loves Christmas and anime. He has some really good comedic timing and his dry but cheerful delivery is a consistently funny thought both specials.  The specials aren't perfect however. Not all of the skits land and some of them go on for WAY to long. But that's kinda what happens with any sketch show. You gotta take the good with the bad. But do you know what you should do if you want REAL otherworldly experience? Watch the Neo Yokio Christmas special, but pause it at random intervals and watch this special. Treating the sketches like the bumpers you would get in between the ads of a TV show. It's a horrible idea that I'm not willing to try, but I feel doing so could lead somebody to either madness or true enlightenment. And I want someone else to be the guinea pig for that.  If you're a fan of both anime and weird surrealist humor then I would actually recommend checking these specials out. There both up online for free, so what do you have to lose?

Number 3: The OTHER Charlie Brown Christmas Specials (1992, 2002, and 2003)  So everybody knows about a Charlie Brown Christmas. It's like, one of the most famous Christmas special of all time. Charlie Browns sad. They hold a play. Snoopy kisses Lucy on the mouth without her consent #MeToo. Linus gives a speech about Jesus to an empty auditorium cause adults don't exist in this world. Everybody sings. THE END. Timeless classic, we all know it. But many are not aware of the OTHER Peanuts holiday specials.  There are three. 1992's It's Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown. 2002's Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales. And 2003's I Want a Dog For Christmas Charlie Brown. Like all the Peanuts specials made after Charles Schulz's death, these are all just a collection of random Peanuts comics that were animated. As oppose to the original Charlie Brown Christmas special that had an original story written by Schulz's himself. All three of these specials are just little vignettes based around the Peanuts gang celebrating Christmas.  While none of these specials are as ambitious or as heartfelt as the original special we all know and love, I don't think that their trying to be. While the first Charlie Brown Christmas special tries to tell an important message about the true meaning of Christmas, these other specials are pretty much just jokes without much plot or sentiment. But, given that they are just adaptation of Charles Schulz's writing, you know that there going to be funny. I always forget how much of a little shit Sally is, and these specials remind me. However,  sometimes the transitioning between scenes can be a bit wonky. They clearly just copied the strips, without putting much thought in how it would work when put together in a sequence.  While It's Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown and Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales are pretty similar. But I Want a Dog For Christmas Charlie Brown takes a bit more of a different approach. It focuses mostly on Linus's little brother Rerun, and has much more of an overall plot. (Though a lot of it is still just mini vignettes.) However, while I do admire the risk, I'd say it's the weakest of the three. Rerun just isn't that interesting of a character compared to the rest of the Peanuts gang. And that one has an hour long run time, which causing the special to drag a bit. But there still are some fun highlights.  If you are a fan of the Peanuts comic strips or specials, I would highly recommend these specials. They're light fluff, but They're good light fluff. They might not give you that warm Christmas feeling, but they will make you laugh. And sometimes that's all you need. 

Number 2: Olive the Other Reindeer (1999)  1999's Olive the Other Reindeer use to be a holiday tradition for Cartoon Network every year right long side such other TIMELESS and BELOVED holiday classics as Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer and Legend of Frosty the Snowman. But now, it's seem like it's kinda fallen into obscurity. Which sucks, cause this special is actually really good. The special follows Olive, voiced by Drew Barrymore before her magnum opus Freddy Got Fingered. Olive is a dog who isn't very good at doing traditional "dog" stuff. She's so un-dog like that she actually begins to believe that she might in fact not be a dog at all, but a reindeer. And when one of Santa's reindeer's get's injured right before Christmas, Olive believes it's up to her to trek to the North Pole and save Christmas by flying Santa's sleigh. Despite the fact that she isn't a reindeer and can't actually fly.  This is just a nice special, and a lot of that comes from Olive herself. Olive is a precious cinnamon bun who I WILL PROTECC! She's just such a kind and lovable lead, and Drew Barrymore's voice talent really helps extenuate this. But it's not just Olive, there are several other fun supporting characters too. Like Martini, a con artist penguin who accompanies Olive on her journey. There's also a evil postman (played by Dan Castellaneta) who acts as the specials main antagonist. His goal is to ruin Christmas because he hates all the extra work he has to do around the holidays. It's an interesting motivation for a villain, but they kind of ruin it in the last act by adding in a cliche "was always on the naughty list" element to his backstory. But regardless he's a fun villain. Between this and Robot Devil from Futurama Dan Castellaneta really knows how to ham it up as a villain who sings. What, you thought he wouldn't have a villain song? How naive of you.    While the special is based on a children's book the adaptation was headed by Matt Groening, which I never realized as a kid. Though that does explain why Dan Castellaneta is here. The special is a departure from his usual style, with art based more on the book instead of his usual Simpson style. The special is done in CGI surprisingly, despite the characters looking entirely flat. I don't really get the point of this. Why go through the effort of trying to use CG to make something look 2D, when you could just animate it in 2D to begin with. But whatever the reason, I do appreciate the pop up book look this special provides.  The special also carries a bit of that more adult humor, without going to far. Kind of like Murray Saves Christmas, a special that I talked about last year and also featured a lot of recurring staff members from Futurama. However, the world of this is special is weird. Santa is a known person who does radio interviews, but I guess that makes sense if we are assuming a world where Santa really exist. But then there are other oddities, like how Martini mentions how he use to work at the zoo until he got fired. But we also see Monkey's trying to escape the zoo. If being in the zoo is there job, why are they escaping? Aren't they there willingly? And why does Olive have an owner, but also a pet flea? Is this show set in the same universe as The Moxy Show? These are all questions that need to be answered.  The special is cheesey and some parts are just there to fill up time. But overall it's still a really nice special featuring some likable characters and some really funny jokes. While no means perfect, I still recommend you give it a watch if you can. 

Ahhh, nothing says Christmas like Santa, Pope John Paul II, Ultraman, and Quasimodo. Number 1: Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas (1999) And to end this countdown, let's end on a Christmas special that just screams wholesome. Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas. Probably the best direct to video product Disney has ever made. (Not that doing so is very hard.) This special is pretty simple. It's three different Christmas specials stitched together to equal an hour long movie, each staring a different Disney character. We got Huey, Dewey and Louie wishing on a shooting star hoping for it to be Christmas everyday. We have Goofy trying to prove to Max that Santa is real in what I guess is a prequel toGoof Troop? And then we have Mickey and Minnie reenacting the Gift of the Magi. All these segments are linked together by a narrator voiced by Kelsey Grammer. His voice is so warm and cozy in this special, and really helps add to the mood. Sure, none of these stories are that original, but that's fine because there well executed. There's just such an earnest sensitivity to this special that it's hard not to not feel all Christmas-y while watching it. The animation, while nothing that fantastic, is good for direct to video. And it manages to do both cartoon-y slapstick and warmer more emotion moments pretty well.  The special isn't perfect. Some of the segments can feel a bit longer than they need to be despite the fact that the films so short. They're written like TV episodes but most run close to thirty minutes instead of twenty two. Also the last segment, with Mickey and Minnie, while not bad, is probably my least favorite. So it kinda ends on it's weakest note, though I get why they ended with it. Mickey just isn't my favorite of the Disney cast. I personally prefer the cartoon-y antics of Donald or the kindhearted nature of Goofy more in this special.  Goofy is also a precious cinnamon bun who I will protecc. And I ship him with Olive.  There was a sequel, Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas, released in 2004. I haven't seen it in a while, but I remember it not being very good. It's goes for five shorter stories instead of three more focused ones, and I remember there being less of a warm Christmas-y essence to it. It was more jokes and less sentiment. Also, they replace the beautiful 2D animation for CGI. In 2004. With a direct to video budget. I can commend the ambition, but that probably wasn't the best movie. But if you want a nice wholesome Christmas special that the whole family can enjoy, than Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas an underrated pick I highly recommend you check out this holiday season.

 And so there we have it. five (or technically eight now that I think about it) obscure Christmas specials that I highly suggest that you look into this holiday season. But again, there are WAY more underrated specials that just these out there. So I may have to revisit this idea again at some point in the future and do a part three. What would you all think of that? And what weird, obscure, underrated Christmas specials do you guys watch every year? I'd love to hear all about em in the comments down bellow! I'm always looking for new specials to watch! Please fav, follow, and comment if you liked the review. And I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah (Even though that ended a week ago) Happy Ramadan (Even though that ended in June) Or whatever holiday you celebrate. Life Day? Regardless, Happy Holidays to you all! May your days be merry and bright!  Now if you excuse me, I have to go work on 2018 year in review. Have a great day, and see you then! (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review. All credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Top-5-Obscure-Christmas-Specials-II-776656208 DA Link

[game-refraction]

Game Review: Prey (Xbox One)

I entered a small office, I saw a computer terminal in front of me and was about to approach it when I noticed that beside it were two coffee mugs. I panicked and pulled out my pistol, the gun shook in my hand as I approached the mugs. I kept my eyes on each of them, waiting for one to strike, my grip tightening on the silenced pistol in my hand. I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I approached the monitor, hoping to find some crucial e-mail, but the two mugs had done nothing to warrant any hostile action and it was then that my paranoia wasn’t completely unfounded, for it wasn’t the mugs that sprung to life, it was the garbage can to the left that I hadn’t seen. The garbage can then formed into a Mimic, a stringy black creature that then darted under the desk and disappeared.

I looked over the desk and attempted to find the Mimic, my gun swinging left and right as I tried to find its location. When I entered the room there were two chairs on the floor, each of which was knocked over on its side, but now there was one extra chair that was upright just sitting there. I fired a few shots into the chair, it formed back into the Mimic and slithered its way towards me, I fired again, and again, and it exploded into a black mist, with chunks of its body landing at my feet. I turned around and went to the monitor, about to log in when that second coffee mug caught me off guard and formed into a Mimic and lunged at me.

Prey is a game that offers as much tension and fear as it does an overall blandness and a longing to the past. For a game that is so set on embracing what the future can bring us, it does so by borrowing mechanics from several other games. Arkane is known for the Dishonored series, and this game at times can totally feel like an extension of that effort, with characters and environments feeling as if they were easily lifted from that series, albeit looking far more futuristic. Prey also borrows from Bioshock a great deal with even placing a wrench as your first possible weapon, let alone mimicking much of what made that game what it was. I’ve heard more comparisons to that of System Shock, but that is a title I never did play or am that familiar with.

You play as Morgan Yu, a scientist that is the co-creator and testing agent for Neuromods, an injection-based system that can grant abilities to those who use them. The way to use and pick from a selection of abilities is nothing new to Arkane as Dishonored had a very similar system, but the way it is implemented here is more akin to that of Bioshock with its own ability-based Plasmids. These Neuromods are created from the Typhon, an alien race that has since taken over Talos I, the scientific research space station where it all began. When these Neuromods are removed, the subject loses all memories gained after the initial injection, and this is where you begin, as a Morgan who has lost his-or-her memories and, much like the player, is starting the game fresh without knowing much of what is going on.

As you try to piece together what has happened, you’ll do so by exploring Talos I. While graphically there is a little bit that disappoints in Prey, the utilitarian design aesthetic of the station is absolutely gorgeous with its colorful design that allows each and every color to just pop. Much of the Neo-Deco look that Arkane has put into the game is actually inspired by a real-life hotel in New York City called the Viceroy. The fiction is set up where the in-game company TranStar wanted the station to have a very expensive look to it, with wood walls, real leather and a regal grace to it. While the game takes place in 2035, the station itself is an effort that started in the late 50’s with much added to it just a few years after, giving us a reason for how the designs of the station feel old, yet strangely modern. There are moments in the game where you will need to travel outside the station, floating around in the vastness of space and despite some awkward controls, it can be really fun to see what waits for you in the black.

While Talos 1 is a very striking environment to explore, it is rather easy to get turned around in due to the overall sameness that many of the environments share. Thankfully, there is a fog of war to the map that allows you to know where you have and have not been. Much like Dishonored, there are multiple ways to get to your location, with several methods rewarding your curiosity or the way in which you have spec’d out your Morgan. Regardless of increasing your hacking skill or using the gloo cannon to create makeshift platforms, even despite the awful jumping and climbing mechanics, there is almost always a way to get to where you are trying to go.

The story in Prey is mostly told through voices on a radio, emails you find, or through audio logs that you’ll locate in offices or on the bodies of the dead. There are moments where the narrative gets very engaging, but it was rare that the game gripped me for more than a few fleeting moments. The core story of Prey is Morgan trying to figure out what to do about the station as it’s clearly a lost cause and it boils down to a choice about how to tackle your objectives and deal with the Typhon aboard the station. This, as well as a few side quests in the game, will shape the ending you will see before and after the credits roll. While there are some slight differences between these endings, they all take place in the same location and in some ways, end on the same note. There are some parts of the last few hours that will vary depending on who you save or how you confronted one of the characters that are added in the late game, but despite this, it has no real bearing on the events of the actual ending.

I’m not one that typically enjoys reading in games and I often overlook and just ignore the emails and notes found in games. I do; however, love audio logs and the ones here are really enjoyable to listen too. I did try to read several of the emails and frankly, not many of them kept my interest. If I found an audio log to listen to and there was a terminal nearby for that person, I would read it to find more information about a locked room or something that helped me with my objective. For a player that is very intent on learning every bit of the lore created, there is a wealth of story and character here for those that want to take it all in. While there are few examples of Morgan actually conversing with another character in person, it does happen occasionally and it usually came with a few problems. I would have characters chatting with me on the radio while another character would be talking right in front of me, making me miss most of the dialogue. This happened fairly often and became a pretty annoying issue and forced me to reload the game several times.

While the enemies you encounter are not exactly original, the ways in which you encounter them can make or break your excitement about them. Wondering if a Mimic is a few feet from you as you explore had me paranoid for a few hours but that tension started to fade the more powerful I became, and eventually the Mimic lost its ability to scare me at all. The Phantom enemies which are created by corrupted human bodies can make for some fairly fun encounters as there are three different styles of them;  thermal, etheric and voltaic. There are also Poltergeists that almost always stay cloaked and much like many of the threats you encounter can use abilities that Morgan themselves can learn. There is a large and menacing creature called the Nightmare and taking this beast down can consume a lot of resources, but there is a side quest later on that will make these titans a complete non-issue. The first half of the game is where you will encounter almost every type of foe that the game offers and for much of that, there is some genuine fear to facing off with them, but that really starts to fade as the enemies don’t adapt or evolve to change things up and this can lead to very repetitive battles.

If you neglect the alien abilities and remain human throughout the game then you won’t have to worry about Operators or turrets turning against you as these robotic forces can deal some pretty decent damage. While the game does allow you the choice to play stealthy, I found that there are moments where this doesn’t really work out as well and a more forceful approach is required. You have a good deal of freedom in how to craft your Morgan, putting Neuromods in a wide variety of skills, but there are several skills that if you avoid them and attempt to play a certain way, then you will find the game incredibly challenging for the wrong reasons. The difficulty curve can be nasty one minute and far too easy the next and this imbalance is consistent throughout the game.

To fend off the Typhon threat, Morgan has access to only a few weapons; a wrench, silenced pistol, shotgun, gloo cannon, stun gun, and the Q-beam. You also have a few throwing items that can shut down the robotic operators and turrets or turn a variety of items into much-needed materials. There is also a dart crossbow but that isn’t useful as a weapon and something you use to help you reach panels that you simply cannot reach. A few of the weapons can be upgraded to dish out more damage or reduce the reload speed. While you will find most weapons just laying about or next to several dead bodies, you can also craft them should you find the required blueprints.

Some of the weapons work rather well under most circumstances like the gloo cannon halting enemies in their tracks, opening them up to a solid blast from the shotgun or a few swings of the wrench. The stun gun is very useful for the more robotic enemies and can almost work like the gloo cannon to others, causing enemies to just stand there shaking from the electrical charge. The Q-beam is a beast of a weapon and worked fairly well, provided you kept finding ammo for it. I found that I tended to keep the pistol, gloo cannon and shotgun as my main three, with quickly swapping to my stun gun for when Operators or turrets would show up as my Morgan had several alien abilities at her disposal.

As effective as you want weapons like a shotgun or a laser rifle to be, I found that no matter the foe, they all tend to soak up more bullets that you want to spare, especially when conserving ammo can be the deciding factor in life or death. On harder difficulties, spending too much ammo on a single foe can be counter productive to your next encounter when you simply don’t have the resources to win. While bullet cushions are nothing new to gaming, the enemies in Prey just seem to take far too many rounds to put down. The game is also designed in a way that you will want to use combinations of weapons to help in limiting how much ammo you use, like freezing an enemy in place with the gloo cannon or the stun gun and then swinging the wrench a few times, especially the fast moving Mimic. I don’t even want to know how many bullets I wasted trying to hit it as it frantically moved around the room.

Apart from the weapons in Prey you also have abilities that you’ll use the Neuromods to unlock. These can range from turning yourself into an object like a coffee mug, powerful kinetic blasts, or taking over the minds of nearby threats. There are a fairly impressive amount of abilities that you can use in a variety of ways and should you want to play the game entirely human, Prey is designed around that as well. Human abilities are designed around taking more damage, your hacking skills and being able to repair broken objects like turrets. There are several skills that you will want to unlock early on and finding Neuromods can be fairly easy, so you never feel like you are going to be blocked from learning a much-needed skill for too long.

Collecting items to craft in games usually varies on your wanting to craft in that particular game, but Prey’s crafting system is vital to your success in the game, regardless of what difficulty you’ve chosen. When you explore the environments and find random junk, those items can be converted into specific materials. When you find a blueprint to an item, you merely need to spend the items required and you can craft various things like ammo, guns, or Neuromod’s themselves. I found that ammo and medkits were my best use of the materials I gathered. There is a way to create unlimited items with the recycler, so feel free to look it up should you find yourself having a tough time with the game.

I’ve already mentioned that the visuals for the environments are rather impressive with only a few areas failing to live up to the rest of the game. The same can’t be said for the people and the enemies. The people that you interact with or find dead on the ground, are just painful to look at, with models that seem pulled from a game from last gen. I can’t think of a single human character in this game that has a good or even passable character model. The enemies themselves are rather generic and also feel lifted from other games. While Prey does use enemies like the Mimic in cool and interesting ways, there is nothing groundbreaking or original about any foe you encounter. The game is also set up in a way where there are no direct bosses to fight or a type of enemy that you can’t stop talking about with your friends. There is one enemy that you see in the final few hours that I wish would have been staged in a way where you could have battled it, but it is merely set dressing and lead to much disappointment.

The audio in the game is fairly enjoyable as the voice acting is pretty good, with a few characters voiced by the likes of film actors Walton Goggins and Benedict Wong. The rest of the cast is filled with a few names like Tom Kenny and Steve Blum, but other than those names, everyone else is people you’ve heard their voices before but probably didn’t know their names. Your own character does have a voice in the messages that you have left for yourself, but sadly, your own character doesn’t talk outside of those messages. The game plays on tension fairly well with sound effects to let you know a Mimic may be nearby, or some fear inducing tunes to set the mood in a darkly lit room.

The game features some awfully long load times with the average wait being a minute and a half. When you are going from location to location and passing through three to four load screens, you can feel the drag set in very quickly. In fact, starting the game you will go through three separate load screens just to play. The last issue that I really have to mention is the shifting left and right your character does as you move. It’s one of the first shooters I have seen this happen with and it makes aiming a bit of a pain unless you stop moving entirely. Trying to line up a shot as you move towards something is nearly impossible as your cursor slowly bounces all over the place.

Prey will last you around 25-30 hours in length should you tackle the majority of the side quests and embrace many of the emails and audio logs in the game. After about 20-24 hours, I was starting to wear out on the game. It’s not that Prey does anything bad, it is just an average game that you start to notice its flaws jump at you like a Mimic from a desk. There are some fun moments here and there but there is nothing remarkable about the game to point out a good moment from the next. The gloo cannon is fun to use and explore the world with, and the paranoia of approaching an immobile object in fear that it might be a Mimic is fun for a few hours, but it starts to lose its charm very quickly. The story is alright but didn’t grip me as much as I wanted, and the lack of really memorable encounters left me fairly bored. The combat that does occur can be enjoyable, and finding a way into a room you previously thought impossible is a thrilling moment.

Prey is an average game that doesn’t really do anything special. It is a combination of Dishonored and Bioshock set in space and that should be a fun and entertaining concept, but sadly lacks the soul and charm of what those particular games gave us.

Prey was reviewed on a retail copy and all screen shots were captured on an Xbox One console and uploaded through the Windows 10 app.

Game Review: Prey (Xbox One) was originally published on Game-Refraction