#i hate this ginger he ruined my life i just want to tackle him with affection- im too gay for him ill shut up

[polarmary]

Happy Birthday to this looser (I love him)

[duker42]

(1) Is there a way I could get one where reader is in the scouts but she has a friend (boy) who joined the same time, and they grew up together and their relationship is really close and everyone thinks they're dating but they arent, and levi likes the reader but hates him because of that and the reader thinks levi has a thing with petra so shes never made a move on him due to that. Readers friend knows levi likes reader so is always super touchy with her when hes around (just small things like

Thank you for the compliment!!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰

💜Stupid Friend💜

Levi glared at the hand that was wrapped around Y/N’s waist, his fingers itching to draw his blades and cut the damn things off. He hated that asshole touching her, but it was her right as her lover. Damnit.

He looked away, his lips pursed as the man looked over towards him. Sometimes he wondered if he was just showing off the fact that he had the right to touch her that way. His fingers tightened around the cup of tea he held, if he was that handsy with her in public, Levi would had to see them behind closed doors.

“Hey Captain!” His thoughts trailed off as Petra came up to the table to get him. She must have gotten the reports from Erwin. He sighed as he set the cup down and pushed back from the table. It was better to head back to his office and start working, rather than sitting here being upset by Y/N’s boyfriend putting his damn hands on her.

~~~~~

Henry smirked as Levi got up and marched out of the Mess Hall, Petra following after him. He had seen the way the man tensed when he saw Henry’s hands around Y/N’s waist. Knew that he wanted to feed him to a Titan.

He thought the man was going to blow a gasket the other day when he had picked Y/N up and swung her around the courtyard, Y/N giggling in delight. It was just interesting to watch and see how far he could push the Captain’s buttons.

He wasn’t with Y/N. Never had been. They were just friends and that was all they ever would be. Y/N just never noticed how he was a bit more affectionate with her in public. He had always touched and teased her, but when the Captain was present, he ramped up the touches.

It was a game to him. He just was dying to see what would happen when the man who was braver than any other Scout decided that he had seen enough. The only reason that hadn’t happened so far was because of the rumors going around that he and Y/N were dating. But soon enough that would get to Y/N and she would quickly dispelled that misconception.

~~~~~

Y/N sighed heavily as she caught sight of the raven haired man disappearing out of the doors, Petra close on his heels.

She hated the fact that she had feelings for a man that either wanted another woman or was already with her.

Levi played things so close to the vest that she couldn’t be sure if they were in a relationship or not. Most of the time the ginger haired girl was around Levi, so she thought it was the case.

If she knew that he wasn’t, she would throw caution to the wind and admit that she was in love with him. She loved everything about the moody and sarcastic Captain. But she wasn’t willing to overstep, so she just kept her mouth shut and her eyes off of him as much as possible.

~~~~~

“Y/N! Henry! My office now!” Levi snapped as he glared down at the pair.

Y/N jumped at the tone of his voice and quickly pushed Henry off of her. Great, now she was going to get reprimanded because Henry had decided to tackle her and tickle the breath out of her.

She stood up and brushed her uniform off before throwing Henry a glare. He just shrugged and grinned at her unrepentantly. She sighed as she turned and made her way to the castle, dreading every step she took towards facing Levi’s obviously bad mood.

The knock on his door was answered with a harsh command to enter. Levi was behind his desk and looked up to fix both of them a dark glare as Henry shut the door and joined Y/N in standing in front of his desk.

“Fucking ridiculous.” Levi spat, standing and crossing his arms. “You are about to be promoted to Squad Leader and you’re going to ruin it by acting like a sex crazed teenager.”

Y/N brow furrowed in confusion while Henry coughed in surprise.

“Sir?” Y/n asked.

“Keep your sex life in your room. I don’t want to see it!” Levi hissed, his eyes narrowing at Henry.

Y/N’s eyes widened as she realized what he was talking about. “Sex life? Fuck no!” She cried out, turning to Henry quickly before looking back at the Captain in shock.

Levi paused and looked at her expression. She didn’t look remorseful or even smug about this, more horrified.

“You think we’re together?” She asked pointing between herself and Henry. When she saw him nod, she started laughing.

Henry scowled at her reaction. The idea of being with him wasn’t that damn bad. But he let the look fade from his face when he saw Levi looking at him with murderous intent. He shrugged his shoulders imperceptibly and bit back a grin when the shorter man’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Henry, go clean the damn stables.” Levi ordered.

Henry saluted and marched out the door, having no intention of leaving beyond stepping outside that door. He wanted to hear what happened.

When the door closed, Y/N had stopped laughing and was looking at the Captain, waiting for him to say something. She didn’t expect him to come out from behind his desk and back her up against the front of it.

She was watching him warily, his eyes having a dangerous glint in them was he pressed closer. She realized what he was going to do when his face came in and she turned her head to the side so he couldn’t kiss her.

“What about Petra?” She asked, desperate to make him realize he was making a mistake.

Levi growled and pulled her face back to meet his. “What about her?” He asked.

“You....a-aren’t’ with her?” She breathed, hope springing in her chest.

“No.” His answer clipped as he leaned forward and kissed her urgently.

Y/N moaned into the kiss, her hands gripping his shirt and pulling him closer to her. Levi felt his body jolt as he realized he was with Y/N, exactly how he wanted. Except that he wanted more.

He lifted her onto the desk and pulled back, his ashen orbs asking her the question he wanted the answer for. She smiled and started untying his cravat and working on the buttons of his shirt.

He shuddered and started pulling at the straps of her harness, quickly divesting her of the leather. He felt his hands shake as her hands found his bare flesh, running over the hard planes of his chest and stealing his breath when she reached for his belt buckle.

He shuddered as her nimble fingers wrapped around his hard cock and he forces himself to move away from her hand. He wanted to last longer than what he would if she kept touching him. He was too damn eager for her to play around.

When she was finally bare and spread out on his desk, he dove down and pressed his tongue against her clit. Her moan filled his office and excited him even further as he flicked his tongue inside her passage. She was tugging as he hair, pulling him closer against her as her legs found purchase on his back.

She was slick with arousal, his tongue sliding easily around her entrance. He didn’t want to wait anymore, he needed to be inside her. He stood up and fisted his cock to slide the tip along her clit.

She moaned out his name and he pushed the head inside and pulled her against his chest as he thrusted deep. Her cry of pleasure filled the room and covered his own loud groan.

Y/N throbbed around him, her walls squeezing him delicious. His eyes closed as he bit back cumming right then. He started to move, slowly at first until her hips started rotating against his.

He started forcefully pushing into her, the tip of his erection pushing agains the back of her core, making her gasp. Her legs were around his waist, pulling him closer, locked around him possessively.

He felt her eagerness, her frantic jerking of her hips as she wanted more, wanted him to make her cum. Wanting to him to send her soaring in pleasure. He bit down on her shoulder and fucked her harder.

It was just what she needed. His name was shouted as he felt her tighten around him, making him gasp as her release coated his cock and poured out of her. Levi held his breath as he felt his own orgasm start washing over him.

He thrusted deep into her, and release the breath as he came, shooting his release deep inside her before collapsing against her in relief as he tried slow down his racing heart.

He lifted his head and looked at her snuggly satisfied expression. He smirked and nipped his teeth on her neck. Y/N jumped, clenching around his cock still embedding inside her.

“You have a stupid friend, you know that? I almost killed that bastard multiple times for the way he was touching you.” Levi commented dryly.

Y/N laughed as she pushed his bangs back from where they had fallen in his face. “Just my friend. Just like Petra is just your comrade.”

Levi lifted up and started kissing her again, lifting her off the desk and walking towards his bedroom. They needed a shower, but first he was going to make her cry out his name again.

~~~~~

Henry grinned as he lifted his head from where he was listening at the door to the Captain’s office.

Stupid friend, huh? Well that stupid friend got those two together. And the Captain firmly off the market.

Time to go tell Petra the news and make sure that he consoled the pretty little ginger haired girl.

Mobile MasterList

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

TIME TO KILL A CHAOS TWIN. M is feeling left out (either because of R’s relationship with V or like he’s the third wheel in his poly relationship with two other cats of your choice). There’s an argument but before they can reconcile MACAVITY KIDNAPS THE OTHER CAT. In the rescue Mungojerrie leads but either he or R gets killed. Remaining twin is a shadow of former self. bonus: next year, Mistoffelees sings their song for them - with trash puppets and “WERE a notorious couple of cats”.

ALRIGHTY YOU ASKED FOR THIS

They were a couple of notorious cats. Partners in crime, trusting each other with their lives, until the day that one of them went too far. 

Mungojerrie really tried not to be angry with his sister. He loved her more than anything, and she was his best friend. They had been through so much, so much pain, and they knew each other better than anyone. So Mungojerrie knew that he couldn't be angry with Rumpleteazer. 

But it was difficult not to feel bitter when she approached him to say that she was moving into a den with Victoria, or when he’d be sitting with his sister, and she would suddenly up and run away to go and sit with Victoria, giggling and laughing with the other queen. 

Mungojerrie was ridiculously happy for his sister. She deserved a safe and content life with Victoria, but he couldn’t help but feel hurt when he would try to spend time with his sister only for her to bring Victoria along. 

He didn’t hate his sister or Victoria. Victoria was probably one of the sweetest queens Mungojerrie had ever met, and he knew that neither queen probably knew what was happening, but Mungojerrie just couldn’t help but feel lost and left out, abandoned by his sister. 

So he drifted within the tribe, spending time with his mother and older sisters, playing with his little sisters, delighting the young queens. 

Rumpleteazer, of course, noticed her brother’s sudden distance, but she simply assumed that Mungojerrie was giving her time to explore her new relationship with Victoria. She didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but once she realized that her brother seemed to be purposefully ignoring her, Rumpleteazer knew that she had to confront her twin about his strange behavior. 

She found Mungojerrie sitting in his den, staring at an old toy sitting in the corner, barely acknowledging her presence except for his ears twitching in her direction. 

"Alright, what’s going on with you, Jer?” Rumpleteazer asked, walking towards her brother with narrowed eyes. “You’ve been acting like I’ve got the plague or something every time I’m around you.”

Mungojerrie tried not to scoff, refusing to meet his sister’s eyes. “Now you notice me? What, am I not giving you enough attention?”

Rumpleteazer crossed her arms, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

“It was always the two of us, Teaz. Best friends, partners in crime. We’ve always been there for each other.” Mungojerrie said, keeping his eyes locked on the corner of the den. “We’ve always been working off of each other and keeping each other safe. I love Tori, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve been blowing me off these past days, and it feels like you don’t even want me around anymore!” 

“How can you say that, Jer? You’re the one who’s been keeping yourself away from me!” Rumpleteazer exclaimed. 

“Because you’re spending all your time with Victoria!” Mungojerrie shot back. “I can’t have alone time with you without you bringing her along! You’re my sister, and I barely get to see you anymore!”

Rumpleteazer glared at her brother. “We’re going to be mates, Mungojerrie! Of course, I’m going to be spending loads of time with her!”

Mungojerrie tried not to hiss as he looked at his sister. “I know that, Teaz, but would it kill you to set some time aside for me? I can’t have time alone with you anymore!”

“You’re being selfish, Mungojerrie!” Rumpleteazer snapped. “You’re being selfish and hateful!”

"I’m selfish for wanting time with my sister?” Mungojerrie asked, eyes wide. “Then by the Everlasting Cat, fine! I’m being selfish! Just some time together, Teazer. Alone, without Victoria or anyone else.”

Rumpleteazer clenched her paws into fists and stepped back, looking at Jerrie with hurt in her eyes. “I’m so sorry I can’t give you exactly what you want, Mungojerrie.” Mungojerrie scoffed, looking back to the corner of the den, and Rumpleteazer growled angrily, spinning around and leaving the den. 

The entire tribe could see the shift in the dynamic between the twins almost immediately. They never sat together, barely meeting the other’s eyes, never acknowledging the other, even if they walked past one another in the Junkyard. Jenny and Skimbleshanks knew what had happened between their twins, and it pained them to see their relationship suffer. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had approached their parents separately to tell them what had happened, and both Jenny and Skimbleshanks had tried to get their children to talk to each other, but they refused. Rumpleteazer refused because she was stubborn, and didn’t want to acknowledge that she had hurt her brother, and Mungojerrie refused because he wanted his sister to apologize first. 

The twins were stubborn, but when it came to apologizing to each other, they were even more stubborn. 

But this time, their stubbornness was their downfall. 

“JERRIE!” 

Mungojerrie’s head snapped up at the sound of Victoria’s cry, and his eyes widened at the white queen’s frightened eyes. “What’s happened, Tori?”

“Macavity’s taken Teazer. I was visiting Uncle Bustopher with Misto, and we overheard some of his henchcats walking past, boasting about how they’ve gotten one of the traitor thieves.” Victoria said, grabbing onto the calico tom’s paws. “I”m not sure what he’s planning, but it can’t be good.”

Mungojerrie looked around, and he met Munkustrap’s eyes. “We’re going to get him back.”

They quickly formed a plan, the rescue team including Mungojerrie, Munkustrap, Mistoffelees, Tugger, and Bombalurina. Alonzo, Demeter, Plato, and Victoria would be left to defend the tribe just in case something else happened, and the five Jellicles set off towards the abandoned building that they could smell Macavity’s scent surrounding. 

As they entered the building, a chilling voice rang out around them. “Welcome, little brothers!” Macavity appeared in front of them, a cruel grin on his face. At his feet was Rumpleteazer, ropes around her, keeping her trapped in place. 

“Let my sister go!” Mungojerrie hissed, and Munkustrap stepped forward. 

“She’s innocent, Macavity.” the silver tabby said. 

Macavity sneered. “Please. I have a right to take her down, little brother. She belongs to me.”

“She belongs to no one!” Bombalurina growled. 

“If you want the little queen, you’re going to have to come and get her.” Macavity said, lifting his chin. He flicked his tail, and henchcats rushed towards the five cats. They all stood back to back, and attacked, clawing and scratching angrily at the henchcats, Mistoffelees’ magic blasting back and henchcats that his companions missed. Tugger took on the larger of the cats, using his powerful paws to shove them back and hit them as hard as he could. 

Mungojerrie looked around as he clawed at one of the henchcats, and his eyes narrowed as he focused on Macavity. 

“Come along, little tom.” Macavity taunted, and Mungojerrie jumped, tackling Macavity away from his sister with an angry hiss. 

“Jerrie, no!” Tugger shouted as he watched his friend attack Macavity. 

Bombalurina scratched the henchcat she was fighting in the side, and she ran to Rumpleteazer, ripping the ropes away from her and freeing her. 

Mungojerrie grit his teeth as he felt Macavity’s claws dig into his skin, ripping out fur. He bared his teeth and bit, digging his fangs into Macavity’s shoulder and pulling back, an angry sense of pleasure at the sound of the ginger tom’s flinch of pain. Macavity growled and lashed out, clawing Mungojerrie across the face and causing him to fall to the ground, feeling blood stream down his cheek. 

“You and your sister are done ruining my plans, you little bastard.” Macavity snarled. 

Mistoffelees saw the two toms and his eyes narrowed. He closed his eyes and sent a wave of magic towards them, sending a rush of lightning through Macavity’s body and making the tom yowl in pain. Mistoffelees planted himself, continuing to send magic towards Macavity to keep him distracted as Munkustrap and Tugger raced forward to help Mungojerrie. Macavity had enough, however, and he shoved Mistoffelees’ magic back, pushing the Jellicles away. He lunged forward and slashed his claws over Mungojerrie, ripping through his throat in a single swoop. 

“JERRIE!” Rumpleteazer screamed. 

Bombalurina froze as soon as she saw her brother go still. “NO!” Macavity grinned at them and disappeared in a swirl of smoke and magic. 

Rumpleteazer ran forward. “Jerrie? Jerrie, don’t you fucking dare be dead!” She looked down at her brother, her twin, her other half. “Mungojerrie, please!” Bombalurina stared in horror at the sight before her, barely acknowledging Tugger’s presence as he stood beside her. 

“Teazer...” Munkustrap whispered in a hoarse voice, stepping forward towards the calico queen. 

Rumpleteazer ignored him, lying down beside Mungojerrie and resting her head on his chest. “Jerrie, listen to me! You’re going to be okay! You’re going to come home and we’re going to spend time together, just like you want!” Tears were in the queen’s eyes, but she kept talking, choking back tears. “I’m sorry, Jerrie, just please come back! I love you so much, Jer! I need you, Jer!” 

Munkustrap sat down beside Rumpleteazer, and he nuzzled her shoulder gently. “I’m sorry, Teazer. He’s... he’s gone.”

Rumpleteazer let out a wail, collapsing back against Munkustrap and breaking apart into sobs. “JERRIE!” Munkustrap wrapped around her, trying not to cry as he attempted to comfort the calico queen. “I didn’t mean it, Munkustrap! He wasn’t selfish! He wasn’t! He was an asshole, but he was the kindest asshole I knew! He’s not gone, he can’t be gone, Munkustrap!” Mistoffelees pressed against Rumpleteazer’s other side, nuzzling against her cheek, which was wet with tears and her brother’s blood. 

“We’ll bring him home, Teazer. He’s going to get a proper sendoff.” the magical tom whispered, and Rumpleteazer broke down into fresh sobs as Tugger and Bombalurina joined them, the red queen silently crying as she looked down at the body of her brother. 

“I want him back! Everlasting Cat, please, I need him back! I need my Jerrie!” Rumpleteazer cried, throwing herself over her twin. Munkustrap shared a pained look with the other four, and Bombalurina nodded towards Tugger, who moved forward slowly, and pulled Rumpleteazer away from Mungojerrie, holding her close with a paw as Mistoffelees, Bombalurina, and Munkustrap gently cleaned the blood from the calico tom’s fur. Rumpleteazer burrowed into Tugger, sobbing quietly as she watched them. 

When they returned to the Junkyard, Jenny had let out a scream nearly identical to Rumpleteazer’s, collapsing when she saw her son being carried towards her. Skimbleshanks had gone silent, gripping Jenny tightly as Demeter rushed towards Bombalurina and Rumpleteazer, wrapping her sisters in a tight embrace. 

Mungojerrie was given a sendoff fit for the finest warrior. His family led the burial, singing of the fallen tom and speaking about him before the entire tribe. Rumpleteazer had remained silent during the tribute, and she simply stuck beside Victoria, the white cat holding her tightly the entire time. 

During the next Ball, Mistoffelees had created another special tribute for the fallen Mungojerrie; a puppet show of his and Rumpleteazer’s song that made the entire tribe smile bittersweetly. Rumpleteazer had simply watched with a blank look, not a smile or glimmer of brightness in her eyes. She was never the same after Mungojerrie’s death, but no one could blame her, of course.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats, but what is one half without the other?

The tribe had lost Mungojerrie to Macavity that day, but Rumpleteazer?

She had lost her spirit.

[suicidefrantic]

✂ Chuuya for Dazai

He didn’t know what had caused it. He didn’t care either. He just felt the roaring rage form through his body and it wanted to get out and rip the ginger in front of him limb from limb. It would make it all better. Yes! That was it! All better! Dazai’s eyes were pitch black, it was unsure with a look where the pupil and the iris began. Normally his eyes was a shade of dark brown, but today in those moments they were dark as night. His head was filled with nothing but one thing--- he wanted to kill. Torture… kill. What had caused it though? The answer was simple, he had simply gotten a little too into everything and somewhere along the way had lost himself. It happened, but never this bad before.

A cackle left his parted lips as he pulled out the gun from his jacket. He seemed to look at it for a second before deciding to toss it as a distraction. Chuuya vs a gun, it would result in him getting the injury not the ginger. Unless of course he was close enough to grip onto him and then shoot. Though that would be the end of it all. A humming left him, dark and tormented and just downright eerie. “Chuuya. Today is the day that I give ya a reward” he moved closer to him, slightly staggering. He wasn’t drunk, wasn’t drugged-- no he was just down right insane. He easily tackled the other down, arms going around his neck. He was cackling again. 

“I hated ya. I always HATED ya. I wished ya was dead so many times. So cocky all the time. It would have been better if ya had just stayed as a damn lab rat!” His nails pressed into the veins of the ginger’s neck. “Don’t die on me yet! I know ya are so stubborn and won’t die that easily!” His knees pressed into the ginger’s sides as he reached and grabbed the gun that he had tossed to the side as a way of distraction. He pressed the gun close to the ginger’s shoulder and shot three times. Bang! Bang! Bang! Mad cackles left him. He was making sure the other couldn’t out power him, he knew deep down that even if his ability nullified the other was still stronger in fighting capabilities. He pulled the knife he knew Chuuya always had from him and began to cut the ginger’s skin. 

At first it was light cuts that hardly allowed the blood to bubble up. Though as he continued he got deeper with his cuts. He was shredding the ginger’s vest and shirt. Every single pressure point, every single vital point--- he attacked it. Black eyes were looking into him, watching the expression of pain. He was simply cackling, simply enjoying the rush this was giving him. The feeling of blood as it slid through his fingers. He stayed on top of him to pin him down. “I hate ya. I hate ya. I hate ya. I hate ya. I hate ya!” It was like some mantra as he seemed to continue to cut into the ginger with each phrase. 

Mad chuckles continued to leave him. The body was no longer moving, but he kept cutting until he just sort of collapsed slightly on the quickly cooling body. He opened his eyes with pure and utter shock , why was…. Oh god! Trembling hand quickly let go of the knife as brown eyes looked down at the clearly dead body of his former partner. The fact that he was covered in the other’s blood, that he was on top of him--- it all pointed to the fact he had done this. He let out a cry that sounded full of pain. He rolled off of him, but brought Chuuya’s body into his arms and held him close. “No…. No…. No… I didn’t want this. Chuuya… why does death seem to follow me? Why does it seem like…. I can kill but I can’t simply kill myself?” 

He was shaking pure and simple. Tears actually stung at his eyes and for the first time in forever it seemed like he was sobbing. He had done this with his own hands, it wasn’t someone else because of him…. It had been him actually doing it. Yet he didn’t remember. He had blacked out and came back to this. “Chuuya… I’m sorry” he hugged the ginger. No one had stopped him. No one had come. Though something told him he should be thankful that no one had. Something told him that they might have just ended up dead too. 

“I’m not human… I don’t think I’ve ever been human. Maybe.. these memories of mine were fake after all. Maybe… I was really truly the government experiment that escaped. Maybe.. I was the one who truly ruined ya life before all of this. I… don’t deserve to live.” He closed his eyes “I know Chuuya is gone… perhaps he was all my imagination in the end.” He sobbed yet giggle too. “Arahabaki… if ya can hear me ya bastard God. Take me… if I wasn’t already ya pawn to begin with. Take me… maybe ya were what I was wanting all along. Take me… I’m after all no longer qualified to be human…” 

[hitchell-mope]

(First film. Auradon Chapel. Day before coronation)

Ben: I yelled at Audrey just now

Doug (distracted by the planning for the next days ceremony): left a bit. Back. Back. Back

Ben: you know in this light you look a little bit like Cogsworth

Doug (horrified): ok you got my attention

Ben: Danke dir

Doug: de rien. So. What can I do you for?

Ben: I yelled at Audrey just now.

Doug: she probably deserved it. What did she do?

Ben: she kept poking my face seeing if I was under a spell. And. I yelled

Doug: what did you yell?

Ben: “please don’t touch my face”

(Doug looks like he’s seriously reconsidering Ben’s maturity level)

Ben: I went all beast on her

Doug: yes. I imagine that must be very difficult.

Ben: you’re not taking this seriously. She thought Mal spelled me

Doug: as much as I hate to agree with your ex. I thought so too

Ben: but you did it out of concern for me. Audrey’s just doing it to be

Doug: a bitch?

Ben: mean. And to try and get Mal jay Carlos and Evie expelled

Doug: you really can’t say that word can you.

Ben: it’s a matter of being willing to. Not being able too. I’m able to say b...that word but I’m not willing to. Especially when we’re in a church

Doug: it’s a cathedral. And besides we both know you don’t

Ben (slamming his hands over Doug’s mouth just as lumiere walks by): heh heh. Oh you. With your blasphemous rhetoric.

(He takes his hands off Doug’s mouth)

Doug: last year you said all religion was a scam

Ben: I was drunk

Doug: yeah we probably shouldn’t have let Lonnie convince us to break into your dads collection of port the night before our big geometry final

Ben: at least a got a C

Doug: minus

Ben: yeah. How do I apologise to Audrey without giving her any indication that I was any to get back together with her?

Doug: there’s only one way to make it up to Audrey. And you won’t like it

Ben: I’m not sending our friends back to the isle

Doug: then you can’t make it up to her. Let her be angry. Let her be pissed. As long as she directs all her bitterness at you instead of Mal then take the venom in good faith and accept she will be mad for a very long time

Ben: and if she goes after Mal

Doug: finish off Audrey and I’ll erase all record of her and we’ll make her family think they’re crazy

Ben: that’s cruel.

Doug: do you have any better ideas

Ben: garlic sesame blue cheese croissant

Doug: ok. That would probably work better.

Ben: phew. I don’t like people being mad at me. It feels like I failed them

Doug: you’re about to be the king of the entire realm. You’ll be feeling like that for decades

Ben: thanks buddy

Doug: you’re welcome

Ben: oh hey. How’d your date with Evie go

Doug: we danced. A lot. And she discovered maple pecan waffles. And I learned that ginger ale does in fact not settle my stomach

Ben: Doug you’re in perfect health

Doug: I’m not immune to first date jitters Ben

Ben: ohhhh

Doug: mhmm. C’mon. Cogsworth wants me to show you this

(They walk over to the dais. On it is an obscenely big statue of Ben looking all regal)

Ben: take it back. Reimburse the sculptors for the material used. It’s tacky. I’d much rather prefer one of my head.

Doug: that’s what I told him you’d say.

Ben: and he said

Doug (doing a frightfully good imitation of the former clock): “pish posh. It’s magnificent. It’s just like his fathers. You. Boy. Show it to him. He’ll be thrilled”

Ben: I don’t want to be my father.

Doug: I know. Want me to smelt it down and make cutlery out of it.

Ben: please

Doug: will do.

Ben: I have to get Cogssy back for this don’t I?

Doug: I wou (notices Ben’s sneaky expression) no. Absolutely not.

Ben (sense of childish wander on his face): yeah

Doug (parent voice): Ben. Don’t.

(They look at each other. Then Ben’s running for the doors Doug following close behind him. The half dwarf tackles the prince and they fall to the floor and Doug carries him to a side room)

Ben: let me go

Doug (hold Ben’s arms behind his back): no. (Ben goes silent) and I’m looking at the back of your head so the eyes shan’t work on me.

Ben: mean

Doug: yes. Unlike everyone else that cares about you I’m aware that you can handle a blow to the head.

Ben: fairs fair. But why not.

Doug: because. We’ve tried it. And you just look wrong in anything else but blue and yellow. So asking Evie to make you a purple and green suit will not work. And it’s the day before the coronation and you are not going to put that kind of stress on her

Ben: oh darn. I forgot

Doug: that’s ok nobody’s perfect. I’m going to let you go now ok

Ben: but. I might

Doug: no you won’t

Ben: yeah I won’t.

(Doug lets him go)

Ben: I’m gonna go tell Cogsworth to scrap the statue. Wanna come with?

Doug: sure. I love seeing his face crumble when confronted by the headstrongness of today’s youth.

Ben: you’re an old soul trapped in a teenagers body. You know that right?

Doug: yep

(They leave the sideroom)

(Later)

(Jaylos’s room)

Jay: so the exosuits fit?

Carlos: me.

Mal: Lonnie texted me. Hers and Jane’s fit ok.

Carlos: and what about a jay’s new favourite

Mal: Ben’s fits fine as well

Evie: So does Doug’s.

Carlos: So does mine.

Jay: so we’re all set

Evie: I’m going to bed.

Carlos: it’s only six thirty. It’s not even dinner time yet

Evie: I’m not really hungry. Heh heh. Haven’t said that in a while. Or at least not willingly

Mal: I’m gonna go to the library.

Evie: stop her

Jay: why

Evie: she’s got a letter. Yoink

(She reads it. Getting steadily more appalled)

Evie: you cannot be serious. You’re going to leave!

Jay: what

Carlos: no!

Evie: “Ben. I’m sorry. You need to be safe. There’s a chance this could all fall apart. You deserve better. Please take care of all three of my friends” You’re going to leave him. After all he’s done to help us?

Mal: if this all goes south then I’m taking the blame. For it all. She can kill me. Or I’ll go on the run. Either way. You’ll all be safe.

Evie: what the hell is wrong with you

Jay: she has a guilt complex a kingdom wide

Evie: not where it counts

Carlos: do you really want to get into that now?

Evie (scowling at Mal): no

Mal: fine. You want me to burn the letter. (She clicks her fingers and the letter bursts into flames. Evie drops it before she gets burned. It curls up into cinders on the carpet). There. It’s gone. Like it never happened.

(She starts to leave)

Evie: where the hell are you going now?

Mal: to the only place I can get any peace from you

(Mal slams the door closed).

(Halfway to the library)

Mal: I’m so sorry-hi

Audrey (scowling at her): what?

Mal (looking terrified): uhhhh

Audrey: oh please. Please tell me that someone finally stopped you running your fat mouth and you can’t ruin anyone else’s life.

(She pushes past Mal and goes to leave)

Mal: wait! Please. Wait

Audrey: what. What now. What more could you possibly do to ruin my life even more then you already have?

Mal: I have a book

Audrey (fake excitement): congratulations. You know how to read. Try not to hurt yourself

Mal: a spell book. You were right

Audrey: of course I was. What was I right about

Mal: we. We were sent here. Ahem. To get the wand. And. Release. Release our parents. But we’re not going to. Fairy godmother knows. So does Ben. And Doug. And Lonnie. And Jane. Here (She poofs up the spell book and shows it to Audrey) as you can see there’s no love spell. It stops three hundred pages in. My mother tore them out. There needs to be pre-existing feelings for them to work. And she doesn’t believe anyone could love me

Audrey (flipping through the book): smart lady. Bitch in the gutter. But smart. Why are you showing me this

Mal: because I’m sorry

Audrey: no you’re not. If you were you’d go back

(She throws the book at Mal’s face and stalks off, hiding a page in her blouse sleeve)

(The boys room)

Jay: so once this is all over. What are you planning

Carlos: pizza.

Evie: chemistry. Or fashion. But what ever it is. I wanna be better

(This is when “my declaration” happens)