#i have GOT to try and reset my sleep schedule tomorrow. er. today

[jcbmcdrmtt]

I’ve been feeling very down lately for life reasons, so as a pick me up I ordered some of @aredblush ‘s adorable Sterek art in sticker form (link in source). Now I normally do not buy stickers because I am forever unsure of where to put them - all of the standard destinations like my laptop or phone or water bottle will be replaced one day, which would mean losing all the stickers on them, perish the thought!! But. Stickers were the art form that I could both afford and had room for right now, so while they were in shipping I was brainstorming where to put them.

And then it hit me.

I bought 2 of Nas’ (i.e. aredblush’s) lovely art books from Lulu wayyyyyy back in 2015/2016. I treasure them, I shouldn’t ever have to replace them, and everything between the covers is well-protected. What better place to put stickers from the same artist?? It’s almost like I’m updating the books with some of her newer contributions to fandom :)

So without further ado:

(yes I know my sticker placement/alignment in the second book was atrocious, I’m working with what I’ve got here 😂)

Also, bonus! The most recent iPhone software automatically identifies objects in photos you take and lets you create digital stickers out of them to use in chat! I’ve been having a lot of fun with it the last month or two, and that has also included many art pieces from Nas 😁 (also many, many pictures of my baby nephew 😅). So far I have not sent them to anyone because I sadly do not text with other Sterek or Andreil lovers, but it’s nice to know I could if I wanted to :) Plus this way cute art is always a tap away on my phone for me ☺️

(side note, that last little guy down at the bottom right is a creation of @/magentasnail)

Nas, if you’re reading this, thank you for drawing soft, adorable portrayals of people quietly loving each other (or maybe not so quietly, in Stiles’ case haha). Multiple times now it has been a bright spot in a dark world for me.

[compo67]

case of the mondays

well today was a thing

i got 4 hours of sleep because my brain would NOT shut off and stop thinking about time travel fic + physics + music

rolled out of bed early in order to maximize the day and try to reset my sleep schedule

only to find out from my mom that my dad was not feeling well and wanted to go to the ER

we live an hour away from him

so i threw a bunch of stuff/meds into my gudetama tote bag and drove like a bat out of hell

scooped up my dad, took him to the ER (because he didn’t want to call an ambulance and okay i get that but DAD)

couldn’t go in with him so i stayed in the parking lot for a while

there were some pretty trees

i got breakfast at starbucks nearby, circled back, waited more, then went to his house and nervously did things

trying to be diagnosed for MCAS is proving harder than getting my POTS dx last year and my EDS dx the year before that

but i made appointments with 2 different doctors this month so i’m somewhat hopeful. still gotta find a cardiologist

cause my geneticist is concerned about the tachy events i’ve been having that don’t 100% line up with POTS so electrophysiology cardiologist here we go

i’m concerned that another major organ might have an issue but also kinda just like whatever, throw it into the pile

sometimes i really resent this meat prison

first ER cleared my dad for a heart attack but made him wait in the waiting room for 3 hours at which point i said fuck it, just leave

so i scooped him up again, we went home, and i made many phone calls to his PCP, my PCP, urgent care, and my mom

all to determine that we’d go to a 2nd ER closer to my mom’s house that had a 30 min wait time

but then aha guess what

the oil filter in my car must have popped off because OIL LIGHT OIL LIGHT FLASHING OIL LIGHT

so we had to leave Sam at my dad’s, take his car (1999 honda accord zombie because it’s more replaced parts than OG parts)

so i drive another hour

drop him off at another ER

wait in another parking lot

go home after they give him an ER room

eat

shower

plop on the couch

eat a bit again

text my dad

try to distract myself

help my sister set things up for him to stay here tonight while my mom picked him up

sat with him on the couch as he ate dinner and henry stared at him

got him settled into bed and made plans for tomorrow

today was just

fuckin’ weird, man

i am so tired but also so awake

yet my mind is like sludge 

hopefully tomorrow i can write

in between taking care of my dad, calling cardiologists, work, and whatever else the universe wants to toss at me these days

i hope y’all are having a better start to the week than i am XD

we had an ambulance and the fire dept here last week too (everyone’s okay) so it’s like alright, 2020, i see what you’re doing

i need to figure out xmas fic ASAP