#i have crusty bread to eat it with! im so happy this is the most excited ive been to cook anything ever

[a-flickering-soul]

im making beef stew tomorrow and i don't think ive ever been more excited to cook a dish in my life ever

[bbangjaes]

omg writing this one gave me mad feels

i hope you like it, thanks for the request!

-mik

SF9 SCENARIO: Helping Their S/O Fall Asleep

Youngbin:

I feel like Bin-Bin would be v v v v caring as a boyfriend in general and, when you couldn’t sleep, he would do everything in his power to help you get rest bc he cared about you a lot (and he wouldn’t want to deal with a cranky gf the next day lmao). He would crawl into bed with you and wrap you up in his arms with your head against his chest. He would stroke your hair or rub your back to help you calm down and boy would you be #lovinit. I also feel lke he would be really warm ?????? so he’d feel like a human blanket and you would be oh so comfy and soft and in heaven so you’d fall asleep super easily in your little Youngbin cocoon (*screams* i feel like he is such cuddler and i love cuddling so much so i’m really struggling rn).

Inseong:

Though he is a crusty little shit, he’d be such a softie with you if you needed help falling asleep. I can totally see him cuddling you and *heaves* singing you to sleep. This actual soft angel boy would hold you all close and sing you some really pretty lullaby or song that would have you dozing off in no time at all (u might also cry bc holy shit this would be a moment). Once you fell asleep, he’d stop singing and carefully give you a lil kiss on your forehead bc 1) fuck yeah, forehead kisses and 2) he was high-key pumped that he succeeded in putting you to sleep with his smooth vocals (i also see him grinning really big to himself bc he’s also cocky af).

Jaeyoon:

Much like Inseong, I feel like our honey voice Jaeyoon would sing you to sleep. He would be very sad and worried about you if you couldn’t fall asleep and would quickly formulate a plan to get his beautiful baby some beauty rest (yo this boy would be on a mission). He would wrap you up in blankets and spoon you while he serenaded you with a v sweet love song (holy moly i am having so many feelings just imagining this lord help me). Oh my would you be so very comfy and relaxed and content with such a lovable boyfriend and would have no trouble at all falling asleep anymore.

I LOVE THIS GIF WHAT A LIFE-RUINING CUTIE

Dawon:

This boy is so damn loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the cause your sleeplessness (like srsly when is he not screaming or yelling lmao i swear to god i love him tho). When it came down to it though, he would try his very best to help his lovebug get some sleep bc sleep is v important who doesn’t love sleep amiright ladies (yo fuck that, sleep is for the weak haha i’m so sleep-deprived rn help me). This honey bun would become a human pillow in order to maximize full comfiness capabilities. Or, in other words, would put on super soft clothes and let you rest your pretty little head on him while he held you close like his most prized possession (yeah yeah i know you’re not a possession/object blah blah i’m just trying to emphasize how much he treasures u damn it). But yeah he’d basically embody the spirit of all things comfy to help you fall asleep and that shit would work like a charm.

Zuho:

YOOOOOOOO ZUHO WOULD BE THE SOFTEST OF THE SOFT. I can see this sweetie being v calm and caring if you needed him to help you fall asleep. He would get into bed with you and wiggle under the covers so that he was super duper close to you bc personal space ???????? that shit is overrated. I imagine him talking to you extra sweetly while he adjusts his position to wrap you up in his long noodle arms and making sure that you are comfy (YALL IM FLASHING BACK TO THIS POST BC HIS VOICE WOULD BE SO SLEEPY IM WEAK). I feel it in my heart of hearts that Baek Juho would be just a complete and total sweetheart and would make you feel so loved and safe and thoroughly believe that it would be near impossible to have trouble falling asleep with this man holding you. Peace. End of story. *drops mic*

Rowoon:

THIS POOR MOM WOULD BE SO DISTRAUGHT IF YOU COULDN’T SLEEP. Seokwoo would be the embodiment of all things stressed tf out bc he would always be nagging you about getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, taking good care of yourself, etc. He would try giving you a glass of warm milk or some shit like that to help you falll asleep but it wouldn’t work and he would be back to square one. When the frazzled mom ran out of options, he’d finally just cuddle you (i’m laughing so hard bc he would be so clueless and wouldn’t realize that cuddling is always the solution poor thing). Our giant man-baby would wrap you up in a little Rowoon burrito and you would be really really comfy and it would just be really great (well damn it now i’m hungry bc i wrote the word burrito).

Taeyang:

This boyfriend would be v v v v v v v soft and sweet if his boo couldn’t sleep. He would make sure that you had enough blankets and pillows and would ask if you wanted to sleep in a shirt of his or something illegally cute like that (i’m drowning in the feels bc he would be such a sweet lil bun). He would cuddle you and hum some pretty-sounding nonsense that would be oddly pleasing and soothing to help you relax. IDK WHY BUT I JUST IMAGINE HIM STROKING YOUR HAIR  AND LIKE PLAYING WITH IT BETWEEN HIS FINGERS AND SHIT (lms if u too like it when ppl play with ur hair bc i think it’s the best thing since sliced bread). Yo he’d be extremely soothing and so sweet that you would practically get a damn cavity and you would not struggle in the least to fall alseep thanks to your boyfriend Tae.

Hwiyoung:

Have no fear, Hwiyoung is here. This needy little cuddle monster would be more than ready to save the day and cuddle you into submission bc I honestly feel like this boy’s true calling is cuddling for some reason. He would be the cutest little puppy and would practically pounce on you bc he would want to get in bed with you A.S.A.P. He would snuggle you so close to him and would make sure that there was no part of you left untouched by his softness (ok that might sound a lil dirty but i promise that, for once, it was not intended that way lmao). Oh me oh my you would be in heaven bc Hwi is low-key a cuddle master and the true definition of cuddly (like seriously i imagine him being a complete cuddle god). Let’s just say that your sleeplessness would be no match for this boyfriend.

Chani:

I KNOW I SAY THAT THEY ARE ALL REALLY SOFT BOYFRIENDS N SHIT BUT I SWEAR TO GOD THAT CHANI IS HANDS-DOWN THE SOFTEST BOYFRIEND OF ALL. *takes a deep breath* Okay, I’m ready. I genuinely feel like Chani is the type to fall really hard for a girl and that you would mean the literal world to him if you were his girlfriend (idk why but i just see him being head-over-heels when he is in love with someone) so if you had any type of problem, he would try v hard to make you happy. If you couldn’t fall asleep, he would sort of just casually slip into bed with you and lay so that you two were face-to-face with your foreheads touching and the he’d look down like a shy little bean and talk to you about the weather or something random bc why the fuck not. I can also see him playing with your hands and doing that thing where you sort of rub your thumb around in a circle and it’s just really soothing and cute and UGH (yo i just imagine chani being super fascinated with hands i’m not really sure why). Ok this getting really long now but what the fuck did you expect from a Chani stan. But I just see you two giggling and chatting until you both fall asleep and your worries would just vanish and you would get some good ass sleep. THE END.

(yes wow look at that quality gif made by yours truly)

[computerguideworld-blog]

How a Computer Genius Bakes the Perfect Loaf of Bread

New Post has been published on https://computerguideto.com/must-see/how-a-computer-genius-bakes-the-perfect-loaf-of-bread/

How a Computer Genius Bakes the Perfect Loaf of Bread

You were chief technology officer at Microsoft; you have degrees in math, physics and economics; you hold hundreds of patents; youre a prolific author in both scientific and popular publications; what made you turn to food? I was interested in food before I was interested in any of those other things: Everybody is! I just never moved on. After I retired from Microsoft, I was cooking more, and I kinda thought there should be a big book I could get that would really tell me all about the latest techniques. Ultimately, I discovered there was no such book, and so I had to write it.

The book you had to write became Modernist Cuisine, an incredibly in-depth, scientific guide to basically all of cooking published in 2011. Why did you decide to focus on baking with your new book, Modernist Bread? Bread is one of the oldest foods of mankind. Its also a complicated food. You can eat a peach right off the tree, but bread is nothing like the grain its made from. Long before they knew how it worked, our ancestors figured out what to do. I wanted to go back using all the scientific techniques we have today and figure out if thats the best way to do things.

So what did you find out? One thing is that kneading is a fraud, at least as its normally described. It does not do what everybody says it does; its optional. There are all these no-knead bread recipes, but most books just sort of ignore that. What develops the gluten in bread is the flour just sitting with water. You can make the process happen faster if you knead, and it can affect the final texture of the bread, but its not necessary to the process.

Another thing we learned is that whole-wheat bread and whole-wheat flour is not any healthier for you than white bread and white flour. Its so different than what everybody knows that people think Im joking when I say it, but its definitely true. We also found that its difficult to get decent rye flour in the U.S. and as a result we dont get very good rye bread here. In Europe, they have better rye bread because they grind the flour in a special way, more finely.

Did you discover any techniques home bakers can easily use? The best way to make a crusty bread is to bake it in a cast-iron potbut use black cast-iron: The fancy enameled ones dont work as well. And the best way to cut your bread at home is with an electric carving knife, like people use on the turkey at Thanksgiving. The biggest thing is we try to explain how simple baking bread can be and how people shouldnt be afraid to make it at home. The fact is, bread is really quite forgiving, and with a good beginners recipe, you can get started.

The press release for Modernist Bread says that you and your more than 200 recipe testers used more than 19 tons of flour baking more than 36,000 loaves in more than 1,600 experiments over more than four years. Who ate all that bread? Mostly the people at our lab. There are about 100 people who work at our lab (not all on this project, of course), and they all got a lot of bread.

You come from a science background but also studied at Ecole de Cuisine La Varenne in France, which is very much dedicated to cooking as an art. How can the two approaches work together? Theres a wealth of knowledge that chefs and bakers have developed over the years thats still very valuable. They empirically discovered lots and lots of things without really knowing how it works. All the dishes and flavors that come from that, thats really important stuff. Other things, though, they say you do this for this reason, and sometimes thats not true, or you actually do it for a different reason. Thats also why we totally respect the methods of science and believe you should be able to test all your ideas and make sure theyre true, but at the same time, we also love the history and tradition of cooking and the debt we owe to all the chefs that have developed all this over all these years.

All three of your books take a very science-based approach to cooking, running hundreds of experiments on various techniques and ingredients to figure out what works best. Why dont you think more chefs do this? Theres a tremendous amount of tradition involved with cooking. I think if you actually understand how to do something, you have to understand why it works. In fairness, if you just follow a recipe, you dont need to know why it works. If youre happy with that, great. My book comes in for people who are curious about why it works, and if you want to create something new.

How did you first learn to cook? When I was about 9 years old, I discovered the library had a cookbook section, and I was fascinated. So I told Mom I was gonna cook Thanksgiving dinner all by myself. And I did it. I do a lot better at it these days, but that put me on the path to wanting to learn how to cook.

What does your home kitchen look like? A bit like the lab kitchen. To be honest, I dont think theres any equipment in there that would be in a normal home kitchen! I have a Thirode stove from France, two combi ovens, two French deck ovens for making bread, a huge cold-smoker, a sous-vide vacuum packer and a bunch of sous vide machines.

What are your favorite things to cook? My single favorite thing to do is barbecue. I was lucky enough to compete once in the world championship of barbecue with a team who would go on to win. It was no thanks to me, as the rookie on the team, but it was really fun to do. I also make a lot of French classics, so Im kind of all over the map.

Modernist Bread is a six-volume set that weighs in at over 50 pounds, has more than 2,500 pages in total and retails for more than $600. Who is the intended audience? Our books are for people who are passionate and curious about cooking. If youre not passionate, youre not gonna pick up a 2,600-page book. On the other hand, if you are passionate and curious, we will tell you things about bread that I dont think youll find anywhere else in the world. If youre a home baker, we have a lot of easy recipes, but we also want to include professionalsrestaurant chefs who might want to add house-made bread to their menus, as well as small-scale professional bakers.

What are your favorite places to eat in your home of Seattle? I love Nishino, Monsoon and Loulay. Theres also fantastic Chinese and Mediterranean food here. Were blessed with a lot of great food.

Which topic will the next book in the Modernist series cover? Right now, Im still on the book tour, so the next few months are definitely for promoting the book we have. Then well start thinking about what to do next. But there will absolutely be another book!

What are you working on right now outside the food world? I do research on asteroids, on dinosaurs. I take a lot of photographsI have a gallery in Vegas where we sell photos of food. I also have been making a couple of new microscopes and cameras to take pictures of things that arent possible with current equipment. Im a busy guy.

Modernist Bread will be released Nov. 7. You can follow Myhrvolds ongoing culinary experiments at modernistcuisine.com.

Interview has been condensed and edited.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com

[confessionsofayoungblackhoe]

Honestly, I feel broken.

After my latest experience, I just need to write. It’s therapeutic. I have a lot of flaws and being a narcissist with questionable self esteem is a big part of it. This last  situationship kind of broke me, I reached the tipping point, and I need to find healthier outlets than drinking and being a tinder troll. I talk about myself a fucking lot and it’s annoying to those around me, so writing it all don for the entertainment of strangers around me seems like a happy medium, no?

Let me start with a little background. I used to be fat, real fat, I still am, but not as fat. At my highest weight I was around 270 pounds? I’m not completely sure, it was a blur of depression and isolation. I honestly don’t know who I was at the time. I pushed everyone away and eating every emotion i repressed. I’m not sure what exactly caused everything but I definitely had a psychological break and ended up seeing a psychologist for months, in secret. I didn’t tell anyone until I was done with therapy, and it helped me immensely. I truly got better. So many (mainly black) people are ashamed to seek therapy but I can truly say it helped me out at an incredibly difficult time in my life and I don’t know who or where I would be without those precious sessions. It was hard, no doubt. I had to deal with a lot of shit and talk about a lot of shit that I had never told anyone. It didn’t “fix” me, but it brought a lot of demons to the surface, and set me on this (lifelong?) journey to battle them. I often (usually) fail, but it’s been an insane ride along the way.

Basically, I just have an addictive/obsessive personality. I fixate. I need something to be obsessed with at any given moment to function, it’s literally my life energy. When I don’t have that, nothing else really makes sense to me. I went on to start eating healthier, going out more, exercising more. Becoming more social than I had ever been, this led to becoming a party girl, which I don’t really think is a bad thing honestly.

 I was tired of feeling like that fat sack of shit that no one wanted to be around. This approach also extended to boys, I was in my second year of university (was 18/19 at the time, graduated HS early), and still a virgin. Let me say there is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin and waiting!! The reason I was, was because I purposely pushed men away thinking. “i’m saving them the trouble of having to reject me”. I felt so crappy about myself that I was 100% that I would be rejected in any and all romantic instances. So i would stonewall everyone thinking “they are just being nice, i’m going to push them away so that they don’t have to deal with knowing someone disgusting as me thinks I have any chance with them”. It was really sick. 

So even with partying, I kept my distance from boys. The few times I tried ended up blowing up in my face. The thing I feared the most. My friends are beautiful, exceptional human beings. And they are all skinnier than me. Whenever going out, people would gravitate towards them, and I was always the only one not pulling anyone. Like how ridiculous is it to measure self worth by whether some crusty ass boy tries to grab your ass at the club or not. Well, I always did that anyway. I would act like I was having a great time and then go home and cry because no one tried to make out with me at the club. It was absolute madness, that descended into chaos. 

So, I had worked on my social skills and was good at acting emotionally detached when it killed me inside, but my weight was (and still is) always at the forefront of my mind. I had always been fat, ever since I was a baby, but i’m cute and nice so I got by, but when I gained the extra weight, it was too much. It was harder to get by, by getting by and in late 2014 I really just snapped and developed a full blown eating disorder and was addicted to laxatives. In my mind, every problem would suddenly be fixed if i just lost some goddamn weight. I would put myself on weird ass diets like only eating 400grams of chocolate per day. The caloric intake didn’t matter, what mattered was the weight. I could eat 400 grams of chocolate, drink 4L of water, and pop 7 laxatives (when the recommended dose was 2 at max). Wake up at 3am, shit everything out and wake up 500 grams lighter. It was wild as shit but it worked which encouraged me to keep going. Because the one thing I wanted was to lose weight, and I was doing just that. I was torturing my body and my soul to be frank.

By summer 2015, it got even worse, and I was starving myself for long periods of time. Like complete starvation. I would drink only water for days at a time and if i ate even a morsel of food i would cry and pop more laxatives and punish myself. My mom noticed what was going on. She was so upset, she knew I was destroying myself and all I did was lie to her and break her heart and make her worry. At the height of it, I drank only water for 10 days and  blacked out at work. In my mind, it was almost like a spirit quest. It wasn’t just about the weight anymore. I wanted to prove everyone, including myself wrong. By depriving myself of food, I was denying myself a basic human need and proving that I was above..humanity? 

By showing myself I could survive on willpower alone I was assuring myself that anything I wanted was possible. All the barriers and self defense mechanisms I put up so I didn’t have to face rejection...they didn’t matter, It’s so hard to explain it now but anyone who has fasted knows. It gives you a euphoria that is comparable to crack. But when all was said and done, after all the blackouts, the breakdowns, the meltdowns, the outbursts...I one day looked in the mirror and realized. I literally lost 90 fucking pounds in less than a year. I’m in no way encouraging eating disorders before people try and put words in my mouth, because I honestly am not recovered. I still starve myself, it’s a safe haven for me. But I just control myself better now. I don’t cry after eating a piece of bread, I eat like a normal person and i’m not a freak about it anymore. I’m trying to cultivate a healthy relationship with food but I still have laxatives on hand because I always fuck up. I always relapse, but it’s getting better. 

It was just sort of like realizing, I made it...I accomplished what I wanted. I lost weight, drastically. I returned to school for the fall semester and people’s eyes bugged out. They couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe it. I think that’s what keeps me trapped in this cycle. At my lowest weight I was around 180 pounds and i’m 5′8. So i’m not skinny obviously, but I was a hell of a lot better. People’s reactions are so addicting. I bought new clothes, started going out even MORE, and tbh...I became a hoe and developed a plethora of fucking issues. I had issues before, but new levels new devil. It’s a strange place to be in. I wont lie, i’m pretty. I’m really fucking pretty. I know im a narcissist. I admire myself in the mirror, seeing my face come out from all the fat, and knowing even more can be lost. My self esteem skyrocketed, but falls down into the gutter, pretty often because it was in the trash for 20 goddamn years and i relapse every season. 

So after this hell of a ride, I really just started to enjoy life, and enjoy men. I finally tasted the forbidden fruit and lord, I wasn’t gonna give it up, not after all I had been through. I was finally considered attractive, as dumb and it is. I’m not the hottest girl out there, but I hold my own. I enjoy drinking, I enjoy partying, I enjoy making friends, and I am extremely social. I just have a lot of fucking issues and a lot of fucking stories, and i’m finally ready to talk about them, outside of a therapists office.