#i haven't really written a fandom essay before but the finale gave me a lot of thoughts

[choices-and-voices]

Jumping the Tracks: storytelling, capitalism, and the reason why ATV fell down

So I just finished the finale of ATV. And, like a lot of people - I was disappointed. The story has been really, really good in previous weeks, but the entire finale was just a litany of characters dying (if you didn’t pay diamonds) or being unrealistically saved (if you did). I chose the ending where the Vanguard and the Jura both deploy the astral charges, and it was so abrupt that I think there were literally five sentences between the explosion and the end of the book. I also romanced Sol, and the fact that he’s been lying to MC to the point where they almost died was not REMOTELY dealt with. The story ended with the two of them hugging and staring up at the sky, and - that’s when I realised something. There is one situation where this would be the perfect ending for ATV. But here’s the catch - it’s a situation based on choices that I didn’t make.

As weird as this sounds, ATV only makes sense if a) you don’t spend diamonds in the last few chapters, and b) you have MC sacrifice themselves. Because in that case, it actually becomes this powerful, heart-wrenching story hugely reminiscent of Rogue One - a story about the chaos of war, and all the individuals caught in the middle of it, and the way they keep growing and changing in spite of it until it ultimately steals everything away. In the first part of this post, I’m going to be offering evidence for that claim. In the second part, I’m going to be exploring just how and why ATV’s other plot branches went so wrong.

I mean, just think about Holmes for a second - Holmes, whose entire character arc has been about not belonging, feeling useless. If you let Holmes die in the finale, he dies a hero’s death saving MC, and tells Pax that he’s happy he did it because he’s proved he’s ‘not just in the way.’ It’s a devastating conversation but it’s also incredibly, incredibly well-written, to the point where the screencaps made me cry. The same can be said of Admiral Deimos’ death two chapters ago, where she and Eos quoted the Marshall’s Oath at each other before she was shot into the stars. But if you save Admiral Deimos? All you get is a cheesy one-liner about how Eos has her back. And if you save Holmes, not only does he stumble away from the battlefield to throw up - reaffirming the very stereotype that he’s been trying to fight - but he then quotes the EXACT same ‘not in the way’ line to Pax afterwards, in a situation where it makes no sense.

The point is, ATV was clearly written with the intention that Holmes and Deimos wouldn’t survive, because when they do their character arcs stay incomplete. It didn’t necessarily have to be that way - the writers could have added epilogue scenes where Holmes comes to terms with not needing to prove himself, or where Deimos leads the Marshalls into a brighter, more transparent future. But they chose not to that, and by extension, they pretty much confirmed that saving Holmes and/or Deimos was never a legitimately-planned plot pathway. I could give tons more examples of points in the finale where this concept recurred, but I’m going to focus on the very end just in the interests of time. The only situation in which it feels right for the story to end with the explosion is when that explosion kills MC. Similarly, the only situation in which it’d feel right for MC to forgive Sol so quickly is if MC knows they’ll never get another chance. And on top of that, even just having the other astral charge choices available cheapened MC’s sacrifice, because what’s the point of a sacrifice that could have been 100% avoided? What’s the point of dying to save the galaxy if the galaxy would have been literally fine by itself? When I chose to have both the Vanguard and the Jura deploy the charges, I honestly thought that it meant I was sacrificing two pilots for the sake of galactic peace - because that makes sense both thematically and logically. If MC couldn’t survive it, why could they, right? But they did survive it, because the writers didn’t care what happened in that ending. Because that wasn’t the ending that the writers had planned.

In my opinion, this is what makes ATV so frustrating as a reader and so interesting as an observer, because most interactive fiction actually suffers from the opposite problem. In most cases, the writers won’t allow an ending that they haven’t planned for, so the reader gets forced towards a particular plotline irrespective of what choices they make - a phenomenon known as railroading. But in ATV’s case, while there’s still one railroaded plot, the train keeps jumping the tracks. The writers will let it off, but won’t give it anywhere else to go. It’s inevitably heading towards a crash.

Before we go any further, I want to clarify - I don’t think we can say with certainty why the writers did this. I think there were probably a lot of factors at play, and we can’t point fingers without knowing the full story. Maybe the writers stretched themselves too thin. Maybe it was down to poor planning. Or maybe the planning was initially really good, but truncating everything into one book messed things up. I don’t doubt that, if the writers had been given more time & resources to finish ATV off, each of the endings would have gotten at least slightly more attention. But there’s one pattern to the ‘off the tracks’ choices that I have to emphasise - they’re usually diamond choices. As everyone in the fandom has been pointing out, the reader is asked to pay to save someone’s life, and when that person’s life then stays unfulfilled you have to wonder if it was just a quick cash-grab all along.

I think there are a lot of implications behind this failure of PB to deliver on diamond choices, and I don’t have time to go into them here. On one hand, it’s admirable that you don’t need to spend diamonds on ATV to get the most cohesive version on the plot. On the other, it’s kinda terrible that giving PB your money gets you a product that’s worse. And it’s especially bad when the choices relate to someone dying because that’s obviously an idea that has a lot of implications, and for PB to be throwing it left, right and centre is at least a little bit emotionally-exploitative. But all I really wanted to do in this essay is flag the reasons why ATV fell down, and their relationship to a capitalist system where the integrity of the story comes second to the money that you spend on it. This idea isn’t as obvious in most interactive fiction, because most interactive fiction only charges you the once - when you buy the book. So I just think this is a good opportunity to recognise that the problem exists, and to remember the fact that storytelling - this ancient, deeply-human tradition that started off as something aural, something meaning-infused, something shared - is worth much more than any price tag, and should never, ever be subjugated to it.

PS: Before I post, I want to straight-up clarify that I’m not saying art doesn’t deserve financial compensation! As much as I may wax poetic about art being ‘outside of’ capitalism, the fact remains that artists are living in a capitalist society, and they’re putting a lot of time into their work. You’d pay anyone else for bringing you joy, whether that be by making you food or clothes or whatever, and there’s zero reason why artists deserve your money less. I only think it’s a problem in situations like this, where the financial aspect makes the art itself totally fall apart.

[bookshop]

i recently came across defining draco malfoy (in case you dont remember, its a piece from 2004 on livejournal written for idol-reflection i believe). and can i just say, this is probably my favorite hp essay? i read a lot of hp essays, and love a lot of them (some more now as im desperately searching the internet for the ‘fandom resources’ linked at the bottom, because some of the links are broken).

anyway, you might not see this because it doesnt seem like youve been active in a bit, or maybe youre just not at all interested in harry potter and don’t really care (or maybe youre the wrong person, and are currently Very Confused). but, do you agree with everything you said in your essay, in retrospect? is there anything you would change, given the chance to re-do it? thx <3

Haha, this is actually pretty wild because a) i am the right person and b) i've just in the last 3 weeks kinda fallen into one of those periodic H/D fanfic rereading binges I go into once every 6 or 7 years, so your timing is great.

Back in my HP fandom heyday I also read a lot of HP essays, so i'm really very flattered to get this comment. My essay (which is also on AO3, currently locked to users) was written before book 6, and while for obvious painful reasons i haven't reread it lately and won't be rereading it, i still remember the feeling of reading it for the first time, almost breathless at how much of the fandom's ideas on Draco were being validated through that book. Rereading the essay now, I was spot-on pointing out that "Draco’s biggest moments in the books are all defined by a lack of action," considering his climactic moment is his inability to kill Dumbledore.

It's clear, too, that I gave JKR far more credit for wanting to deconstruct her own established ideas about Slytherin than she deserved; I like many fans was hugely let down by her lack of real engagement in book 7 with the portrayal of Slytherin as the blanket catch-all house for Evil Children, and of course the way she treated Draco in the end was part of that. I still think it's utterly laughable, if not contemptible, that she began the story stating that all four houses needed to unite, and then ended up with every single Slytherin walking out to join Voldemort, lolol fuck her. 😂 I think, for me, that was the single biggest cop-out (among many) in the final book, because she did so much in book 6 to complicate Draco's identity and give him the possibility of redemption only to half-assedly throw it away in book 7, forget about him and every other Slytherin Harry's age, and revert to using him for plot expediencies. Just hugely disappointing.

i'm sure i probably wrote some gushing triumphant meta about draco on my LJ after book 6 came out. In retrospect, i'm not really fond of my general reaction to book 7 — it was posted very soon after i'd finished reading it, and i was running on the fumes of fannish enthusiasm. but i had been yelling for years at that point about JKR's maltreatment of Slytherin, so it occupied a lot of my attention in that review. It still does, honestly; i see Rowling's complete disinterest in deconstructing Slytherin's ideology and place within the rest of the wizarding world — her continuing to frame the entire house as a bunch of racist, power-hungry supremacists, while also still allowing all of the racists to resume their place in society after the war is over as though nothing much had changed — as a huge rosetta stone for what we now know is her larger pernicious position of centrist ambivalence. She was ultimately fine with Draco and his entire house being bigots, because in her ultimate worldview, a little bit of bigotry in the world is inevitable and ineradicable. Why bother trying? Why bother freeing the house elves? Why bother finding one non-racist Slytherin, much less, idk, opening Slytherin to Muggleborns who aren't shamefully hiding their identities? Why bother tearing down and rebuilding when you can just sloppily pave over and call it reformation and change?

Ugh, idk why I'm even bothering trying to explicate the mind of a disgusting bigot. Go read lettered's By the Grace instead of Harry Potter:

“Of course,” Bickford went on, “we will replant.”

“No,” said Kavika, “we won’t. If that tree was a symbol of this institution, does not the fact that a person was trapped inside of it for a millennia suggest that something is deeply troubled within the institution itself? The tree should not be replanted; the rot of it should be remembered and honoured.”

“Reveal will happen soon, and everything will change anyway.” Bickford’s voice was plaintive. “Can we not have just one thing remain the same?”

“No,” said Harry. “Kavika is right. And you’re right as well, Mister Bickford. Everything is changing.”

[yellowloid]

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love. 

i was tagged by @elorianna @glorious-blackout @trickztr and @fiireside - thank you my lovelies! 💖 i'm definitely *not* going to talk about my older fics i've written in my native language because they're not that good and i cringe a bit at the memory (but still with love, y'know) + i only have five published works on ao3, so i'm going to talk a bit about those! in no particular order because i'm very proud of each and every one of them.

• Demons, Nightmares and Relatable Stuff

{buzzfeed unsolved}

a little fic i wrote back in 2018, when i was still in the middle of a terrible case of writer's block. i had it since 2014 and it only went away in 2021; during the years in between, i was only able to write sporadically and with great difficulty. being able to work on and finish this, as short as it may be, was a great accomplishment for me. it was also the first fic i ever wrote in english, so i was really proud and even though i don't write about bfu anymore, i'm still a big fan of ryan, shane and everything they do, and this fic is still very dear to my heart.

• In the Woods Somewhere

{tlsp - milex}

my first milex fic and the fic that finally got me out of writer's block! also first attempt at writing fantasy AND smut. the idea had been in my head for a long time and i finally had the chance to put it on paper, so i just took the chance and looking back on it i'm so glad i did. i'm very fond of this one - i worked really hard on it and, as i already said elsewhere, i kept going back to it to fix things because i really wanted it to be as good as it could before posting it. i had a lot of fun writing it but i was also a bit obsessed, it needed to be perfect - and of course it isn't, it's definitely not my best work but it felt amazing to finally be able to write again. it still means a lot to me and when i posted it i was blown away by how supportive the milex fandom was and still is 💞💞

(also, it's almost been a year since i posted it and, y'know, if you still haven't read it maybe it's the right time to do it lmao)

• Terra Incognita

{tlsp - milex}

this is one of the fics i'm most proud of! it taught me that sometimes the things that come to you almost casually are the ones that end up surprising you most. i started writing it after putting another project aside and i just wanted to write something cute and simple. i had a clear idea of it in my head and i was very satisfied with how it turned out. however, being a big ass pessimist i didn't expect it to receive so much love when i posted it 😭 i was so happy that people were enjoying it; writing it and receiving such lovely feedback gave me a big boost of writing-serotonin, which i really needed after giving up on that other project i'd been working on. so yeah i'm really attached to this one 💖

• Away From Harm In My Baby's Arms

{tlsp - milex}

the first part of my first ever series. there's not much to say about this one, it's just cute and fluffy and it gives an overview of their relationship growing over the years, from the puppy love of the recording of taotu to the horny shenanigans of the eycte tour, and everything that happened between 2016 and today. there's a lot of reminiscing about the past, very cute but very angsty in some passages, but it's mostly Certified Fluff TM. it was inspired by my love for alex's hair and my ever-growing need to write essays on how his hairstyles reflect his mental state. the idea of miles braiding his hair just wouldn't leave my mind, so i HAD to write it down and make it extra fluffy. overall, i think this fic gives a nice preparation as to what to expect in the next parts of the series, especially when it comes to alex and miles' dynamic.

• All's Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You)

{tlsp - milex}

my baby, my love, my emotional support fic! definitely the one i'm most proud of along with Terra Incognita, but i have to admit i have the biggest soft spot for this one. it might very well be the longest fic i've ever written (i used to write long-fics when i was younger but they were definitely shorter than this); it's the first multi-chaptered fic i've been able to write ever since getting over my writer's block, and it just makes me a bit (very) emotional because if you told me from the past that i'd be able to write this i would have never believed it. and yet here we are - 65k words, which might not be that much for other people but it's definitely a lot for me. i worked on it very hard and i'm just so proud of it, i doubt i'll ever shut up about it. so much shit happened to me personal life-wise as i was writing it, and at the end of the day no matter what happened i always came back to this fic and it was like getting wrapped in the tightest, warmest hug. i've grown so attached to it, and i just love everything about it: the idea behind it, the dynamic between alex and miles and just the pure romanticism of it all. now that i'm almost done posting (only two more chapters to go!) i'm a bit sad that it's ending, but i'm also so excited to share the last chapters with you guys. you've shown this fic so much love and i'm here, a bit like a proud parent, seeing my baby go into the world and be appreciated 💖 idk i'm just really emotional over this fic, and i'm also very excited for the next and final part of the series. stay tuned for that!!

since i'm a bit late and everyone has already done it, i'm tagging whoever wants to do this 🥰