#i just can't handle the expectations of being home and the inability to care for my disabilities in peace

[thorntopieces]

it's difficult being home

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[bruinhilda]

I'm so tired.

My Dad has...let's call them serious medical issues. They don't threaten his life on the day-to-day, but they can when they suddenly flare up. He also has what I would call "inconvenient issues," such as weight and incontinence, that instantly cut off a lot of health and transport services.

I can't drive. I spent 10 years trying in my 20s. I'm so tired of having to explain this to people who can't comprehend an inability to drive. I have no other family living here who can help. I have one sister 2000 miles away with her own elder care issues, and that's it. I don't have close friends that I can just randomly impose on.

Dad's docs sent him to the ER today. A non-emergency ambulance ride was helpfully arranged. But the ER just discharged him after a few hours. "Treated and released."

He has no way to get home. It's Friday night, all of the transport companies that *could* handle his weight and lack of mobility refused. His usual service requires 24 hour notice, and doesn't take reservations after 5pm. The same ambulance service *will* bring him home...tomorrow afternoon.

He's stuck sitting in the ER. I can't get to him. I've been assured he'll get basic care, but I can't get confirmation that they'll, y'know, give him his meds, because they don't do that when you're discharged. The patient care coordinator is "looking into it." At least I had her help, because I honestly don't know where to even start. I've looked into transport services before and had absolutely no luck in even finding them, much less getting their service.

I'm constantly told by random "helpful" people about all these wonderful services that exist to make all of this easier, and to care for people like Dad. They INSIST there's help. But if you look into it, the services either flat don't exist, or they do, but they won't help YOU, because you don't qualify. You need too much assistance they can't help with. Or they only offer care that doesn't actually help your issue.

Sometimes you're told that you have to be "persistent." You have to keep badgering people and ignoring the no until they cave and help you. Which one, is utterly insane. And two, has never fucking worked for me. When I get emotional, I get *nothing*. People won't deal with me if I get too angry or upset. And they certainly won't explain how I'm supposed to do what they expect me to do to unlock the magic cheat codes that will solve all my problems.

You can't help but feel the cruelty of it all. How you don't fit into the overall fantasy everyone else lives in. How people just shrug and decide that you must not be doing enough, therefore it's all your fault you couldn't get help. Just learn to drive! How? I tried, it didn't work, what am I supposed to do to get past the repeated failure? Just do this, just do that. I don't know how. Nobody is going to show me the 'how', you're just supposed to magically figure it out. It's supposed to just work out, somehow. Oh, it didn't? Well, you fucked up. You shouldn't do that. Do it right, and things will be okay. Why can't you just do it right, why do you expect others to hold your hand and help you? You shouldn't need so much help! Oh, things got really bad, didn't they? Why didn't you ask for help?

I know we're not the only ones. There are people "slipping through the cracks" all the time. Often they die from it. I suspect I'll die from it when I'm older and more disabled, because I won't even have someone as bad as it like me fumbling to help me like I fumble to help my Dad.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some shocking acts of kindness in dark moments. People going above and beyond to help out a stranger, often without even being asked. There *are* people who do try to help. But those are individuals, and they *are* going above and beyond. Our society as a whole is cruel, it's set up to be cruel and unhelpful, and it's masked by the firm belief in the fantasy that help is always there for you if you need and deserve it. When it's not, you wake up to the lie. But nobody will actually believe you until they're up shit creek with you.

Thank you for reading my wail. But please, don't start suggesting I look for help from services you assume must be there, somewhere.

[stxrfclls]

nerina  only  rolls  her  eyes,  she's  not  going  to  continue  to  argue  when  alina  is  right,  but  nor  will  she  let  the  conversation  continue  when  she's  wrong.  love  was  such  a  foreign  concept  to  the  dragomirs,  she  wasn't  sure  how  to  manage  it  nor  navigate.  the  relationships  with  her  siblings  alone  was  enough  to  prove  that,  estranged  or  mended  but  never  perfected.  she  and  alina  may  be  closer  now,  but  their  inability  to  have  a  healthy  relationship  in  their  childhoods  was  only  another  tally  in  the  category  of  a  broken  home  and  incomplete  heart.  nerina  lets  her  sisters  words  settle  in  her  mind,  beginning  to  reply  before  she  hears  daxton's  name.  she  sighs,  wishing  to  be  angry  but  she  can't.  alina  has  to  be  careful  due  to  her  position,  but  nerina  hopes  this  is  also  because  she  simply  cares  for  her  sister.  no,  she  knows  that  to  be  true.  "  daxton  also  said  i  should  not  be  worried  about  you  with  cedrian.  "  admits  the  younger  dragomir.  she'd  cornered  the  spymaster  and  demanded  facts,  worried  for  her  sister  and  pushing  into  the  relationship  he  held  with  alina.  she  had  no  regrets,  she  suspected  neither  did  alina.  but  having  her  approval  was  important,  she  couldn't  be  with  someone  her  sister  didn't  like.  "  no,  i  think  you  two  need  to  meet  alone.  "  any  man  who  could  not  withstand  alina  on  their  own  feet  wasn't  strong  enough  to  deal  with  the  summer  pirate.  she  had  no  doubt  alistair  could  handle  himself.  "  another  who  is  tethered  to  his  own  court,  no  less.  "

"  need  i  remind  you  my  ship  is  home  to  heathens  and  immature  fae  alike  ?  "  parrots  the  younger  summer  lady.  she  doesn't  stick  her  tongue  out  though,  even  if  she  wants  to.  a  nod,  "  next  time  i  sail  i  shall  send  for  you,  drag  you  to  take  the  long  way  to  the  day  court  with  me.  "  since  now  they  both  had  reason  to  visit.  if  only  they  had  portals,  it  would  be  far  too  good  of  an  addition  in  their  world.  perhaps  one  day,  the  magic  was  rewriting  all  they  thought  they  knew.  "  talk  to  them,  lina.  get  to  know  them.  you  won't  go  in  expecting  them  to  call  you  mom,  just  be  yourself  plus  a  little  sweeter.  "  the  latter  is  a  bit  of  a  tease,  she  knows  that  alina  is  capable  of  being  softer  around  children.  look  at  how  she  is  with  her  own  sister  as  compared  to  other  members  of  their  court.  "  then  it  is  settled,  we  shall  make  it  a  date.  "  even  if  she  were  more  pirate  than  lady  most  of  her  life,  nerina  actually  adored  children.  a  shrug,  the  summer  lady  doesn't  want  to  argue,  but  she  needs  her  point  to  be  heard.  "  when  he's  able,  but  that  is  far  less  than  now.  it's  still  something  i  am  happy  to  do.  "  because  she'd  rather  be  with  him,  and  she  knew  her  sister  could  figure  it  out.  nerina's  nose  wrinkles,  she  can't  really  explain  why,  but  the  reaction  is  had  all  the  same.  "  i  agree,  and  she's  always  been  the  most  innocent  of  all  of  us.  "  something  that  made  being  an  emissary  difficult.  ner  also  wondered  what  her  sister  was  doing  with  the  high  lord  of  this  court,  a  feeling  in  her  bones  she  does  not  bring  up  now.  she'd  seen  them  at  the  festival,  chose  to  leave  it  be  for  now  until  jules  spoke  up.  if  she  ever  did.  "  i  think  we  both  have  a  lot  to  think  about  lina,  because  we  both  deserve  happiness  even  with  the  bits  our  father  ruined.  "

END.

"you, indeed, are." truly with dragomirs as a whole, save for lavinia perhaps, the matters of heart was in essence the blinding leading the blind. alina could advise her sister on almost anything, save for affairs of the heart. it had taken the high lady far too long to allow herself to admit she had developed feelings for cedrian, and then some to realize she loves him. still, she holds the belief that ner understood these feelings far better than her elder sister ever could. for the younger fae, it was fear of falling and not having it reciprocated - that was far more frightening. "what matters is what comes with such hubris. i also believe you've discovered that as well with him." she met the younger dragomir's gaze, with her softened ones, "he does. and at the risk of you being cross with me, i had daxton look into him." she pauses, "i don't discredit your judgement, but you know well me enough that i would pry into anyone who wishes to be involved with my siblings. your commander is a good man." while ner does not admit to her feelings directly, alina had surmised enough, if her sister hadn't fallen for him, she was beginning to. ner knew what her commander meant to her, only that she struggled to admit it out loud to herself. "if he's sincere , then he has no reason to fear me. you may watch if you wish." there was mirth dancing in the high lady's gaze. "it's a curious look on you, becoming - never tethering yourself, not even to our home, but now to another."

"need i remind you're also a captain, and such antics are beneath you." alina knew that would simply earn her another eye roll. the jest falls wayside as ner returns the sentiments, and the elder simply allows herself to relish in the warmth that evaded her for so long concerning her sibling. "as am i." she dares to hope that when they returned home, the hallways of adriata palace would not be silent, they would be filled with the vibrant chatters of her siblings. "perhaps when time permits, i may be able to." how often had she wondered what it would be like to sail the seas past adriata with ner? ner's request of revealing her feels to the day high lord was ever daunting, "i will consider it." a response to soothe her sister's worry. "children are more observant then we give them credit for, i don't wish for them to think i am inserting myself into their lives. you forget i have not been around children, not even our younger siblings, i scarcely was able to hold them as toddlers or play with them as children." it was one of those times it was a stinging reminder how much she missed out with her own siblings. ner's offer has her take a beat of pause, grateful that the other was keen on this, "i would like that, and they will like meeting you." that she had no doubt of, they would find ner far more palatable than alina. she wouldn't deny she did wish to meet them, each time ced spoke of them, it was as if she knew them without ever meeting them. "he would travel with you as he's able, and i have no qualms in making sacrifices for him, without compromising my duties." how was she to explain, she does not wish for ced to do so for her? " thank you. i fear jules is far too distracted." in an emissary it was concerning, given their situation. there is relief that for now, ner drops the subject, and it was not her questions that bothered in her any form, it was that alina was even far more afraid than her sister thought her capable. alina also knew, she could not avoid having a frank discussion with cedrian for long now. "i will say this, i am taking all of your wise words into consideration as you are with mine. i do not know of love, but i read others well, so, i know, alistair will not break your heart."

[mikepemulis]

*hands you motivation in a jar and pokes you to go write* Your writing is amazing and I can't wait to read more! I don't really know what prompts you're looking for but I'm always a sucker for Murphy siblings content :D Or dancing!Connor

this was going to be fluffy and then it like ultra was not. upside, i might continue it though and give it a happy ending later. also there’s dancing connor and murphy siblings soooo

(An Attempt To) Grab A Scoop

Connor Murphy x Evan Hansen (implied/set up), Evan Hansen & Zoe Murphy being platonic best friends

Rating: T (swearing, angst)

Word Count: 1725

In the moments before he was murdered by Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen took a minute to exam all the mistakes that had lead him to this point. 

He could blame Zoe Murphy, for inviting him out with her after the Jazz Band concert. He’d had to interview Zoe after the concert for the school newspaper, and she’d invited him out for celebratory ice cream. He could blame Jared Kleinman, for being the reason he was at the Jazz Band concert in the first place. Evan wasn’t technically a reporter for the school newspaper, he wrote think pieces and occasionally helped out on the advice column. Jared was supposed to report on the Jazz Band concert, but he’d gotten sick and forced Evan to go. He could blame Alana Beck, for convincing him to join the school newspaper in the first place. He’d made the mistake of saying how his mom wanted him to join an extracurricular around Alana. She’d all but dragged him to the English classroom that served as the newspaper headquarters. He could blame his therapist, for telling his mom that he needed to join an extracurricular. He could blame his mom, for making him go to therapy. 

Or, he could blame himself, for being such a colossal fuck up that he worried his poor mother to the point that she needed to pay for him to go to therapy, even though she already was tight on money because she had to raise him all on her own, because his dad had left because Evan was just too much of burden, so really, this whole thing was Evan’s fault, and he’d been leading up to being killed by Connor Murphy since the day he was born. 

After she’d convinced Evan to get ice cream with her, Zoe had confessed that she’d needed to pick up her brother first. Connor had apparently texted her, saying he’d been working late and needed a ride. Zoe assured Evan that it wouldn’t be a big deal, and that she would just drop him off at their house, he didn’t have to actually come out with them, and please Evan, don’t let my brother ruin this, and Evan thought for a second that maybe, perfect, shining, talented Zoe Murphy was almost as lonely as he was; but then when they’d pulled into the parking lot, she’d gotten a phone call from her mother and sighed, mumbling that this would take a while, and will you please just run in and grab Connor? 

Evan, who had the inability to say no, nodded slightly and with shaking legs, exited Zoe’s tiny yellow bug, facing the frigid November air. He glanced across the dark parking lot to lay eyes on the building where Connor worked. 

“Ms. Marya’s Dance Academy.” 

Of all the places Evan had expected Connor to work, a dance studio had not even entered the realm of possibility. He walked slowly towards the flickering neon light, the outline of a petite girl in a bun and tutu accompanying the pink lettering. He pulled open the door to the studio, ringing a faint bell. There was no one at the reception counter, or in the waiting room. At the end of the hall, he heard the faint sounds of music. Evan walked towards the sounds, careful not to make any noise. He shivered at the sight of all of the darkened dance studios. The whole atmosphere was creepy, like something out of a low budget Youtube horror film. The hallway ended with an open door, leading to a brightly lit studio. 

Connor Murphy stood in the studio, dressed in a skin tight black leotard with his hair pulled into a tight bun. Pink pointe shoes wrapped up his legs. Vivaldi blasted from the speakers. His eyes were closed as he gracefully leaped off the ground, landing in an artful crouch that drew far too much attention to his long, graceful legs. Evan’s heart beat at an unexpectedly fast rate. He had never seen Connor so content. He had never realized how nimble and elegant he was. He was beautiful. 

Then his eyes snapped open and filled with his ten times his usual rage. He lunged at Evan, slamming him up against the wall, hand pulled back about to punch him. 

“Who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing here! I’ll fucking kill you!” It was in this moment that Evan realized everything in his life had been leading up to being murdered by Connor, and that it was all his own fault. If only he could be a normal fucking person, he wouldn’t be on the verge of brutalization via a stunningly attractive sociopath. 

“CONNOR!” Zoe’s voice bounced off the walls, angry and commanding. “What the fuck!?” 

Connor’s grip relaxed slightly, but his voice remained steely. “Who is this kid? Is he with you? Is this your idea of a fucking date night, Zoe. To bring your little boyfriend out to laugh at your crazy faggot brother who works at a dance studio?”

“No!” Zoe said. She sounded offended, and maybe a little bit sad, that her brother would think of her like that. Evan remembered how lonely she looked when she realized he was the only one who’d come to see her after her Jazz Band performance. 

“Then what the fuck are you doing here!?” 

Zoe was on the verge of tears. “You… you asked me to come pick you up,” She said, her voice shattered and broken. 

“I didn’t say you could bring a fucking date!” 

“He’s not my boyfriend! He’s my friend! I’m allowed to have friends, Connor! Maybe you’d be more used to it if you didn’t scare them all off!” 

Connor released Evan. “Fuck you,” He said to Zoe, though his voice lacked its usual vitriol. Evan scurried away from Connor. He met Zoe in the doorway. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes were glassy. 

“I can take you home if you want,” She said, defeated. 

“No!” Evan said, even though all he wanted to do was go home. “We’re getting ice cream! To celebrate your performance!” 

Connor met up with them, a bag slung over his shoulder and a towel around his neck. His hair was down and his arms were crossed. He stared sullenly at his shoes, which were now heavy combat boots. “What performance?” He asked.

Zoe shoved her hands in her pockets. “I had a Jazz Band concert tonight…” She said, trying to sound casual. Connor stopped. He looked up, something undefinable in his eyes. 

“Oh,” He said. “What… what did Larry and Cynthia think?”

Zoe looked down. “They weren’t there.”

“Oh… Zoe I -”

“You don’t have to pretend you care, Connor. You weren’t there either.”

Sadness flickered across Connor’s profile, but before it could take any sort of hold, he shut his eyes and let his face harden. 

The three of them walked back to Zoe’s car in silence. Evan wondered if everyone else could hear his heart beating. He wished Zoe hadn’t parked so far away from the studio. It felt like the trek to her bug would take hours. 

Once they reached the car, Zoe silently slid into the front seat, slamming the door shut. Evan reached for the passenger seat door handle, but Connor grabbed his elbow and yanked it away, twisting Evan so that the two of them were uncomfortably close. Through the cold air, Evan could feel Connor’s body radiate heat. 

“I’m sorry,” Connor said, spitting the words out like they were made of acid. 

“Wha… um… what?” 

“I’m sorry for earlier. I was… I just… I’m not going to fucking say it again, Hansen.”

“H-How… you um… y-you know m-my name?” 

Connor’s scowl deepened. “Jesus Christ. Look, let’s just be done with this conversation. It is way too fucking cold out here for all of your… just… for you.” 

He released Evan, causing him to stumble back a bit. He needed to take a second to get his bearings. Connor had apologized. Connor knew his name. Connor’s eyes were two different colors. 

“And… Hansen?” Connor said, with his hand on the car door. His voice was quiet and bitter. “Thank you. For showing up. For her.”  

Evan opened his mouth to say something, but Connor quickly climbed in the car. Evan followed suit. 

The silence during the car ride to the Murphy house was heavy. Zoe pulled up in front of their obnoxiously large estate, and Connor climbed out wordlessly, slamming the door shut behind him. 

“I… Ice c-cream?” Evan asked weakly once he had gone. Zoe stared at him, and then burst into tears, resting her head on the steering wheel. 

“No one… no one came. My mom didn’t even… she called asking why I was out so late… I told them! I told them all over and over again but they were too busy screaming at him or about him to hear.” She sat up, and slammed her hand against the dashboard. “And he’s such a fucking asshole!” Her face was a mess of partially frozen tears and snot. “He asked me… I was just trying to be a good sister! I never miss his fucking dance recitals. Even if no one else comes, even when one of them was on the same night as homecoming… I don’t understand.” A fresh stream of tears fell down her face. “Why does he hate me so much?” 

There was so much that Evan wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that Connor didn’t hate her. He wanted to tell her what he’d said out in front of the dance studio. He wanted to tell her that she was so kind and so loving and no one in her shitty family deserved her, but instead he just sat there and watched her cry. After far too long of doing nothing, he reached over and wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into his body, sighing at the touch. 

“I’m sorry…” She said, her voice garbled from crying. “I’m just gonna… I’m just gonna take you home. We’ll get ice cream soon though, alright? I promise.”

“O-Okay, Zoe,” Evan said, rubbing her back. “Soon.” He stared at the dark and imposing house, wondering what could go on behind its walls that it could produce two utterly different yet completely broken children.

[coolerthanurrefrigerator]

I am a davekat Shipper who hates the epilogues with passion i loovvee ur insight on epilogues and what it did wrong

The main reason the epilogues suck is ofc character death or complete removable of thier arcs and boil then down to tropes which killed the characters but it most specially killed importance of Dave and karkat's relationship and it's important for both Dave 's arc and karkat's role in the comic

I mean davekat is a semi-important ship that suffered the most it had hidden more so arc relevance for Dave and more highlight for karkat's role as a knight of blood and maybe his arc to some extent

It's a relationship that is suppose to challange eachother's toxic belief they picked from society and hold so closely which is a vital cause for thier self loathing and insecurity for Dave, toxic masculinity and for karkat , well do indeed to say why alternia troll culture is horseshit even for trolls

Karkat is not violent as trolls are expected to be he cannot do quadrants properly like he isn't capable of perfect hate nor love nor moiralegence he is capable to stable human relations like friends or normal human romance not what trolls would consider romance

(And also a side note it has relevance to the point i am making about karkat's character ) thing about quadrants even though they are fun shipping tool they are actually rigid and toxic standards of relationship for trolls in the comic, alternia is violent , it wants it's troll only understand hate or sex for repopulation and moiralegence or auspistice for stability to keep the society functional cuz too much violence is difficult to handle for a society , Alternia keeps thier trolls divided and not allow friendship as a concept to survive. If simple things as friendships are overtaken by distrust and murder then throw complex nature of relationships out the window , trolls culture only understand tabular form of romance and cannot or WILL NOT take any form of community or nuity and complexities that come with it ( another example can be vacillation between hate and love that trolls experience that is often frown upon , referenced in hiveswap, again trolls shaming complexities of relationships)

So the point of my side tangent was to show the parallel between karkat's ability to form close and complex and warm relationships with people or negatively put by him "A FOOL WHO WANTS HER IN EVERY QUADRANT" or "LIKE THOES LOSERS IN ROMCOMS" or simply put his inability to do quadrants is like a direct parallel to Dave's bisexuality and his insecurity with unable to keep up with the ideas of toxic masculinity or failing to keep up the image of Bro (again same thing pretty much). I will not go into side tangent about toxic masculinity because i am a woman and i feel like I am not qualified to talk about it but as a bisexual i can say that like trolls and thier quadrants we also view being heterosexuality as the norm or repopulation is the only point behind relationships and well do I need to go on ?

And that's the thing these guys are same but not simultaneously

Karkat is a guy who pisses himself constantly but knows to be genuine and his sincerity is one of the many things that assures everyone that is he genuinely cares about them and Dave is a decently chill guy and gives people time to chill out but he cannot be sincere he just can't be, he only knows irony his whole life and a cover for his insecurities fuck he cannot even understand his own emotions

Like he didn't even admit to himself that he dose not like Bro' s sumpets until John pointed out that the sumpets are wired then only he realised that he actually didn't like them but feels so unsafe at his abusive home and admires his abuser, Bro so much he has a hard time admitting openly even to himself consciously

So thier relationship is complicated but healthy for them it will hard for them to be bf/bf commited so quickly but it works for them and so many ways

Karkat helps Dave to be more sincere and open to his emotions, unlike humans it's just normal for trolls to be gay trolls are naturally bisexual so ofc karkat is like a open gay for Dave to be comfortable with his own sexuality ( i even believe that karkat made Dave realise or even start admitting his bisexuality like Dave ' s crush is made every evident in the last panels of the comic , like because of karkat, Dave decided to come out the closet and open up to John and him brushing roxy off to chill when Roxy talks about crushes )

And Dave is effective guy to help karkat with his problems. Karkat has tendency of self loathing, being hyper critical , ranting and complicating things when it doesn't need to be , i think the best example why i think Dave is a better option at this than any of the other characters like terezi is how he is willing to listen to people and help them calm thier nerves , he is well intentioned kid

Especially at this scene in a doomed where they were not that close Dave comforting karkat that he can get along with John and jade and they all can be friends together when karkat was worried he will be left alone after all his friends died and the only ones he knew have separated from him and it's is hinted in the same scene that it did comfort karkat to some extent

I think Dave would have done more supporting work for karkat to accept his side he feels so insecure about and even teach to relax and loosen up a bit in the alpha timeline and also his incapability to do quadrants rigidity since his relationship with Dave would be complicated to fit into a quadrant again becoming a parallel to Dave's insecurity about his bisexuality

They are both knights through and through he parallel eachother but different people in the sense the one is secure or normal about a aspect of something the other is insecure about , karkat being normal about liking boys cuz it's normal in trol society (he doesn't even thing about it much at all tbh) and Dave mortally afraid to be gay , Dave not liking troll romance system in practice or given a shit about it and karkat hating himself for it

Karkat is loud cuz that's a cover for is incapability to be ruthless and unlikable like trolls are expected to be and Dave trying appear cool and level headed to be more likable as de man

Both are insecure alien teens unknowningly becoming a place for realisation for the other about themselves and supporting eachother to overcome thier insecurities by being themselves to eachother, they have nothing to prove to eachother the guy knows whats wrong with the other guy and they both don't feel the pressure to hide behind a mask of loudmouth rage or coolguy jig

So my point on going on such long rant about davekat cuz if hussies wasn't a jackass and the comic wasn't rushed to be completed and these guys had some time to develop

Davekat would have been in the lines of "man u are pathetic piece of shit i feel sorry for you why u make a big deal out of things that isn't a big deal"to "you are making me realise things about myself that i never noticed / was wrong with me"

They are not some stupid yaoi commited bf/bf relationships but not simple friendship either

And what I hate about the epilogues they completely assassinate the importance of the ship and kill to downright make just fan survive

Like you just can't back pedal Dave' s internal homophobic arc like that it was one of the staple for his character not to mention blatant bi erasure to ensure davekat for fan survive and while have it make sense in the already horseshit narrative not to mention that bi people like gay people do feel comphet the compete ignorance to that

Not to mention make them like lovers and putting them to matespiritship and ignoring that the relationship works is not because karkat helps Dave to allow himself to like men but karkat to be in a quadrant ambiguous relationship that breaks troll norms

Dear fucking god not to mention wtf Dave and karkat characterisation is awful downright bad

And this not the complain I have for the epilogues but how the fandom sees davekat unlike epilogues the fandom should have freedom for interpretation of the ship but thoes who argue davekat should only be pitch or heat or WHATEVER THE FUCK

No they are actually are not claiming they do ignores why this relationship is important for karkat

You are allowed to ship them in any quadrant if u like that but stop pretending their relationship fits a quadrant because u ship it and also the epilogues suck there was no need to make them controversial in any sense or yaoi crap they were this cute side ship to end Dave and karkat's arc in the story of homestuck even though rushed

Anyways sorry for my mad rants about the epilogues i have way more complaints about it than Davekat but I guess it's best to move on from this garbage and ignore it and accept the comic ended at act 7 or the snapchats

Davekat was cannon it is very much blatantly hinted in the comic on act 6 last pages it sucks it never got time to develop but what can be done

But learn that every gay relationship isn't some yuri or yaoi shit and are completed sometimes and characters don't need have sex to represent them be gay for eachother i guess

For a while I rationalized the existence of the Homestuck Epilogues just cause I like Davekat and I just wanted to accept them being canon even if it also meant accepting tons and tons of character assassination and a terrible storyline

But honestly it’s time I take off the shipping goggles and acknowledge that all of the Epilogues is a mess, including my favorite ship content. They, like everyone else, are out of character and are making decisions that they’d never do

Roxy, who once threw a whole funeral for a cat, would never show disrespect at the death of one of her best friends

Jade would never prioritize invading other peoples relationships when she could be enjoying the company of her family and friends

John would never sit back and accept his fate, whether it be straight up dying or living a life of mundanity, if it meant he’d be miserable with it

Jake would never let people use him for their own gain (again), Dirk would never manipulate people (not after his character arc geez guys), Rose would never give up the chance to fix a problem herself, Kanaya would never leave her wife to suffer alone, Jane would never become the next Condesce, etc, etc.

And despite my rationalization of the Davekat scene through my shipping goggles, I have to admit that Dave would never jump headfirst into both a crush and relationship, especially when you account for his trauma. At the very least, he wouldn’t confess to having a crush without blabbering on about his anxieties first, likely coming out in the middle of a rant on accident (don’t deny it, you know he would) in the same way he accidentally calls Jane “John’s hot grandma.” He’d probably say something like “I’m going through a bisexual crisis, a bi-sis if you will- oh yeah I’m bi by the way, hahah bi-by like bye-bye which is what I should be doing before I embarrass myself further ok bye”

I can see him saying all that ^ more than I can see him downing a ton of alcohol and kissing his crush as if he was in some sort of romcom. Homestuck’s always been really good at deviating from tropes and making the characters feel more like real people, and real people don’t succumb to romcom scenarios. Karkat would smack the romcom out of Dave long before ever succumbing to his own romantic fantasies (It’s like, say you always wanted to be a fairy princess but once you actually turn into one you’re like “uhhh what this is so unrealistic and kind of uncomfortable...” Idk bad example). The point is that no one actually wants to be in a romcom, they just want some of those romantic events like singing songs and having deep emotional conversations, but not suddenly kissing each other after screaming at the fourth wall that’s for sure

Karkat is knowledgable enough in romcoms to know when he’s in one, and you know as hell he won’t give into a cheap narrative like that. Karkat’s never been one to let fate strangle him into submission, he wouldn’t have survived to 6 sweeps on Alternia if he had. Also, he has no interest in politics, not after the whole Gamzee thing anyway, and while I do think Karkat cares a lot for Dave and would want to make him happy, he surely wouldn’t do so by running for President. Karkat’s the kind of person who shows affection with little actions, like drawing with chalk or listening to music. You know, quality time

And I think it’s time that I woke up from my own romcom fantasy and realized that while I want these characters to have a happy ending, this just isn’t them in the first place

I’d like to hear some thoughts from non-davekat shippers on the subject. Nothing anti-davekat I mean, more like some opinions from people who are davekat-indifferent. How did this character development affect readers without red-tinted shipping goggles?