#i just have too much self esteem to relate to Grantaire

[pallasandthepeople]

I think you need to be somewhere centered on the E to R spectrum to be able to write them well. The extremes don't get the other extreme well enough, and that's the whole reason why that relationship is so interesting.

E/R has always been such an important ship to me, but I will never write for the fandom because I identify so absolutely with Enjolras that writing Grantaire feels like writing about someone obsessed with me. Not to say that it's 1-1 (Enjolras is so much more than I could ever aspire to be) but a lot of things I like about Enjolras are things I like about me, and our bad qualities also overlap. Meanwhile Grantaire struggles with things I've never approached myself. I'd sound disingenuous if I tried to write about it.

[courferre-stan]

💕 for the ask game 💕 1, 3, 8 🌺

1) Are you named after anyone?

Actually no, but I was supposed to be named Veronica or Monica, both names of my mom’s favorite TV show characters at the time. Sadly, I believe my sister chose my name, Rebecca. I just prefer Beck cause its more androgynous and I dont like the fact my real name is very feminine n stuff. Its a preference thing. And Beck sounds cool so (yes im looking @ Beck on Victorious, my childhood crush lmfao)

3) Are there any fictional characters you relate to/identify with?

Oh my god too many. I’d say Klaus Hargreeves, Julian Devorak, Muriel (The Arcana), Loki Laufeyson, Cosette Faucheleven, Grantaire, Sophia Petrillo (Golden Girls), Adora (She-Ra), Perfuma (She-Ra), Harley Quinn, and Princess Eilonwy (The Black Cauldron). I love them all, they all mean so much to me, and I do relate to or identify with all of them so.

8) Do you have any ‘bad’ habits?

Oh yeah. I bite my nails really badly, almost down to the cuticle. I have HORRIBLE anxiety issues so. I drink coffee after 9pm most nights just for the hell of it and then im WIRED until 4am. I’m very toxic to myself, and I have really bad body image/self esteem issues, and i WILL debate people on if im a good person or not. I sometimes leave lights on and it makes me feel guilty cause the surrounding area’s electricity runs on coal plants, oil, and a lot of unsustainable sources and i feel HORRIBLE (though its largely the government and corporations at fault for climate change and disasters to come with it). I’m pretty bad about self care too, and I tend to overwork myself to exhaustion with school. If I’m doing hw I can’t get emotionally attached to anyone or have an existential crisis, am I right? Lol.