#i just think that being able to lay out my entire life onto a bulletin board with red yarn would fix me. and maybe an un-opinionated
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man
#this is hard to explain#but#i desperately want a specific conversation to happen with someone#no one in particular just. someone#i want to sit down and explain everything. every single event in my life that led me to where i am today#and how i’ve realized that so many of the behaviours and traits i have today#are the direct results of various things that have happened in my life#and lay out plainly all the traits i have that i’ve noticed are very… distinct#(brain people just tried to fill in the word ‘mental’ for distinct. fuck you guys)#but like. things that i do that are abnormal for one reason or another (caused by suspected mental illness or just a weird trait)#‘oh theo just talk to your therapist’ you misunderstand. i’m not looking for a therapist’s perspective. i’m looking for an average person’s#interpretation of who i am as a person and what they think sticks out about me WITHOUT any sort of brain-knowledge influences#i need someone that is a completely clean slate#however. i’m not about to dump all that onto some random person because that would be insane lmfao#i just think that being able to lay out my entire life onto a bulletin board with red yarn would fix me. and maybe an un-opinionated#onlooker could provide me with some much-needed introspection#anyways i’ll just make a slideshow for my therapist or some shit idfk#is this egotistical? i want people to give me attention and tell me what they think is different about me#hm. whatever
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