#is this egotistical? i want people to give me attention and tell me what they think is different about me

[buck-yyyy]

man

[sleyu]

DATING JAMES POTTER INCLUDES . . .

PAIRING: JAMES POTTER X READER

GENRE: FLUFF & SMUT

If anyone is boyfriend coded, it's James.

James is so desperate for your attention. It’s fully up to you how you would react to the stunts he’d pull and all the nonsense he’d say for you to spare just a mere glance at him, but as soon as you do, he’s not shutting up for days. So much so, you’d find Remus on his hands and knees, begging to give James a chance so that he could finally study in peace.

When James falls in love, the person he is infatuated with and the things in relation to them is the only thing that remains in his mind.

‘Ugh,’ he thinks, ‘Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop is an eye sore.’ But wait, ‘Y/n loves pink. I ought to bring her here next time.’ He thinks.

James, contrary to what he makes himself out to be in front of his friends before meeting you, abandons any sense of his pride and ego when it comes to his girl.

Before falling in love with you, James would scoff and snicker at couples around Hogwarts, at people holding hands, cheeks flushed and eyes starry-eyed, as they’d walk together in Hogsmeade.

Meeting you, falling in love with you—finally making you his—made him love every corny, cheesy aspect of being with someone, completely endeared and left sheepish by their every breath and movement.

During ’ O.W.L.S. or any test for that matter, one could steal a glance at James, only to see him absentmindedly writing down your initials with a heart right beside them on his parchment, looking almost bored at his otherwise empty paper.

Anytime he would find himself stuck on a question, he would sigh happily, putting his quill down and all his focus on you, trying to find you sitting in the exam hall, smiling in amusement at the look of determination on your face.

James being in love means him attempting to look for your face during every quidditch match, upon every win, and during every loss, trying his best to search for your reaction. All he wants is for you to see him in his glory, and no amounts of pats on his back or the cheers he receives from crowds compare to the feeling of your thumb caressing his cheek, or your hands softly patting him on the head, telling him how proud you are of him and how you couldn’t take his eyes off him.

James finds it tough to admit and often struggles to communicate it, but he needs your praise. He needs you to tell him that he did good, that he looks handsome, that he’s brilliant for his latest prank, and that no one else compares to him. Of course, it’s an ego boost for him, but behind his egotistic front is a vulnerable, questioning man who doubts himself often, wanting nothing more than to prove himself to you.

‘Did I do good, love?’ he’d ask, desperation seeping from his honey-like voice, as though he’s unable to wait for your answer, fearing the possibility of your displeasure. ‘Please tell me I did.’

Of course, this manifests in your sex life. James needs praise always and rarely ever incorporates degradation into his lovemaking. He not only tells you how pretty you look for him, how good you feel wrapped around his leaking cock, but also begs you to be vocal, to communicate your pleasure and to tell him that you only belong to him and that no one else could make you feel as good as him.

‘Need you to tell me, baby—fuck! Wanna make you feel good—wanna make my good girl feel good—god.’

‘Tell me—tell me you love me. Say it again—need to hear it again,’

James begs that you leave a kiss mark on his cheek for ‘Good luck,’ right before a quidditch game.

The mandatory uniform for Gryffindor Quidditch matches is James’ jersey. Nothing fuels his pride and his absolute enamour for you more than seeing his last name plastered across your chest and back, proudly and visibly displaying your support for him and only him.

After a big win, you can expect to be fucked in the jersey. James swears he’s never cum faster than he has when he took you from behind and watched as your back arched; the name, ‘Potter,’ printed upon your trembling body as though it was a mark of ownership and loyalty.

Dating James means that he’s treating you as though you’re made of glass. Gentle touches and grips to your waist as the two of you walk in the school corridors, and adoring coos when he sees you slump against him, tired from a long day.

‘My poor angel. Always working so hard, yeah? C’mon, I’ll take care of you.’

He’d rather die than hear you call him by his name. To James, calling him by his name means that you’re treating him as though he were any other person when he isn’t. He needs to hear the affection laced in your words. The soft, gentle mumble of ‘baby, darling, Jamie, honey,’ is all he seeks to hear from you and he practically crumbles against the gentle caress of your hand on his cheek when you refer to him by a pet name.

‘James,’ you sigh, exasperated. Your boyfriend furrows his eyebrows, ‘That’s baby to you!’

During the summer, he’d insist you attach a photo of you with every letter you send him, whether it’s you on vacation or simply in your room, he has to get his fill of you.

He’d spend so much money on little trinkets for you, little items he would pick up from the sneaky Marauders Hogsmeade trips.

Sirius would huff as James pulled him into a stationary shop, ‘James, can we please stop making pit stops? We have 30 minutes left.’ James shook his head, grinning to himself as he picked up several pretty pens he reckons you’d love, ‘Need to supply the missus with gifts, Pads.’

James would be so happy once you begin warming up to the Marauders. His favourite people loving his favourite person? It’s his dream come true and as soon as he sees you bickering with Sirius, having long and insightful discussions with Remus, and casually hanging around Peter, he knows he’s going to be with you for a very, very long time. He’ll make sure of it, he decides then.

James would most certainly carry your bag as he drops you off to class. The first time he attempted in doing it, the two of you were tugging your bag for five minutes, arguing with each other about who would carry the pound of weight on your shoulders. He won, much to your dismay, but a surge of warmth bursts through him the first time you hand your bag over to him mindlessly, without him asking or fighting you for it, as though you had expected him to do it. He treasures these moments in your relationship where he begins to realize that habits between the two of you are beginning to grow and that you both are becoming used to being such an integral part of each other's lives.

He constantly tells you that you’re his everything and that all he does is for you and only you.

Study dates with him are entirely pointless as they never lead to actual studying as James cannot survive five minutes without your undivided attention on him. What do you mean you have to read a textbook for an hour? No periodic breaks to kiss your boyfriend or to coo at him? The only way actual studying will get done is if you promise him a kiss for every correct answer he gets—but we all know where that’s leading to.

He was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ in the relationship. He would probably say it very quickly as he had known he loved you before the two of you dated, but he’s entirely fine with you wanting to take your time in dissecting your feelings for him.

Until you say it back, with every night and morning kiss, every departure before class, he’d whisper a giddy, ‘I love you, darling,’ to which you’d smile bashfully. Once you do say it back, he’s smiling like an idiot for two weeks straight. He would be almost annoying about it, like a child on Christmas Day. He’d tell you that he loves you repeatedly only to hear you say his four favourite words: ‘I love you too.’

[wannaeatramyeon]

Jake Kim x Reader: Jealous

G/N. Silly + fluffy. Spawned from chatting with @steamedeggs, as always.

"Who's that?"

Jake follows your eye line.

"Samuel Seo," He tells you with a sigh. Whether that's a result of their meeting on the Pier or something else you can't be sure.

"The famous Samuel Seo," you mutter.

You watch him gracefully fold his limbs into a fancy executive car and lament the shitbox Sinu has left Jake, "Oh damn, he's hot and loaded?"

Jake huffs a small exasperated laugh, curling his arm around your shoulders. "Some would consider him hot and loaded, yes."

You throw your boyfriend a cheeky grin, raking over his form with greedy eyes.

"Obviously not as hot as you, though."

"Obviously."

.

.

Listen, Jake does not lack confidence. Jake is secure. With his appearance, his personality, his finances- no wait, scratch the last one.

Bottom line: Jake is perfectly fine with himself.

Lua has called him egotistical and conceited at times, but that's besides the point. Vivi has commented that he's ugly to his face and he couldn't care less. (All the girls throwing themselves at him in the club certainly showed otherwise.)

Sometimes even you think it is grossly unfair. Jake has won the lottery in the looks and personality department. He is beyond charming, winning hearts wherever he goes. Not even his battle scars dull his shine, adding only a sexy and bad boy air to this giant golden retriever of a man.

Anyway, the point is-

It's hard to phase Jake. It's nigh on impossible for his jealousy to flare up.

Yet.

.

.

"What was that on his neck?"

"Whose?"

"Samuel Seo's."

"You mean his tattoos?"

"Huh, neck tattoos? That's bold."

Jake watches you type in neck tattoos, and if he isn't mistaken, you look impressed.

'What's impressive about neck tattoos?' He wonders, leaning over to look at the designs on your phone.

"You want me to get a neck tattoo?" He angles his head to show off his throat and your phone no longer holds your attention. You're desperate to sink your teeth in. Add your own markings.

"Or what about a face tattoo?" Jake grins, "Tear drop under one eye? Writing on the other cheek? Some big letters? Big Deal?"

Picturing his suggestion, you wrinkle your nose. "Definitely not-"

"'Cos I guess these aren't enough for you, huh?"Jake raises an eyebrow, one corner of his lips pulled up and flexing his biceps.

It's obnoxious but goddamn this man. Enough of his charm shines through that it's sexy, a touch silly, and a lot endearing.

.

.

"Does your friend actually need glasses?"

Jake mentally flips through the list of people he knows. Friend? With glasses? "Samuel?"

You nod.

"Probably. Not sure. He never wore them in Big Deal."

"So they're just for show? He's a poser?"

Jake chuckles at your words and shrugs.

"Hmm," you tap your chin, "It does make him look smart-"

"Samuel is smart."

"-and sophisticated. You want a pair?"

"C’mon," Jake looks at you with mock hurt and clutching his heart, "I already am smart and sophisticated."

"Sure you are."

"And I look it!"

"Absolutely."

"Hey!"

.

.

“You’re pretty tall, right?”

Jake blinks, because what a question. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes, except maybe professional basketball players.

“...Yes.”

“And Samuel is the same height as you?”

“I think so?”

“Huh.”

“What do you mean huh?”

“Nothing. Just… huh.” You begin to walk away but Jake grabs onto your arm and yanks you back. You fall into his chest with an ‘oof’.

“I’m not tall enough for you?”

“7ft might be nice. Maybe 8ft. Why not double digits. 10ft!”

“Yeah,” he laughs and rolls his eyes, “I’ll get right on that.”

.

.

Jake is sulky and pouty.

He knows you’re teasing. Messing around, playing. Hell, he teases you enough. 

Despite this. He is sulky and he is pouty.

"Jake..." you plop yourself into his lap, "You know I'm only joking right?"

He gives you a sidelong glance even as he angles his cheek for a kiss.

"I think you're the best," You give him a smooch. "Your tattoos are hot," Another smooch. "You're very smart."

"And sophisticated," he grumbles, though he makes no attempt to hide the smile creeping over his face.

"The most sophisticated!" You kiss him loudly on the lips this time. "You should teach people how to be as sophisticated as you are. Charge them a billion won each to listen to you talk about sophistication. And you’re the tallest. A giant. The biggest man to have ever existed. I don’t know how you fit that massive head through doors,” You squeeze his shoulders, “How do you even get this huge body in a building.”

Jake bursts into laughter at your ridiculousness. 

“I even love your awful death-trap that you call a car. With no air conditioning and no airbags and seatbelts that jam when they shouldn’t."

Jake clicks his tongue at you, "Now I know you're lying. Even I hate that stupid car. And it’s not mine."

“Ok,” you give in, “I do hate it.”

Jake’s face turns soft and tender. He pulls you close, until your foreheads are touching and you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes. “I think you’re the best and hot and smart and sophisticated. You’re not that tall and you don’t have a car... But you are mine though.”

“Yeah,” you agree, melting into his arms, feeling his heart beating in time with your own. “I am yours.”

[livelaughghoul]

Max Verstappen - Birth Chart Analysis

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot. 

Max has a really interesting chart, it’s actually one of the most interesting charts I’ve looked at. There are definitely a lot of conjunctions that caught my attention, but that was about it for the aspects. 

His chart is dominated heavily by the eastern and southern hemispheres, which from what I’ve seen and learned about him makes a lot of sense. When a chart is eastern hemisphere heavy there is a lot of breaking of the mold and setting your own path. The southern hemisphere brings a lot of career orientation, which really checks out. 

His big three is so interesting to me because I see so much of the moon and rising signs, but the sun placement feels more subtle than any of the other placements in the chart. I had a lot of fun taking a look at this one though!

THE PLANETS:

Sun - Libra

I genuinely love this placement, because it feels so leftfield for me, like I never would have guessed this man is a Libra, but again this could easily be that I know nothing other than what has been sent to me and listening to him go at it over the team radio the other day. When it comes to a Libra sun I expect there to be an overt elegance and an appreciation for the finer things in life, and he isn’t necessarily afraid to show this. There is a fine line between the Libra charm and narcissism, and I think Max walks that line. I think that there is a desire to always be admired, and a need for respect and control. Yes, Libra is about partnership, but I think that this is an area of difficulty for Max. I think that when it comes to being a team player there is a lot of struggle because he is such a huge personality and has a tendency to be egotistical at times. Max likely has a lot of trouble with balance, between his own happiness and pleasing others. I get the sense that he is a people pleaser, and it isn’t the right people that he is working to please at this point. 

Moon - Virgo

I love a Virgo moon because it truly is one of those placements that aren’t afraid to say what is on their mind, call people out, and be unapologetic. It tells me that this man is incredibly intelligent as well like there is a wealth of knowledge beyond the surface level on things that he is interested in. With this intelligence though I think that there is a tendency to overthink and question the words of others. Max definitely has Virgo stubbornness, and while I don’t think he has the pessimism that can come with this placement, I think he definitely has a clear view of the world and the reality around him. 

Rising - Sagittarius

Every person I know with this rising placement are actually the most dedicated workers and fiercely independent people. We see a need for independence and freedom, and I think a lot of that comes from the perceived lack of this in childhood or early adolescence. We see a lot of pressure that is placed on the self, a drive to be the best and a natural talent at whatever the challenge is. I think that Max really has some of the best aspects of this placement, we see it through his dedication to his career, himself, and in a roundabout way, his team. Unfortunately with this placement, there is a lot of impulsivity and recklessness, which makes me think that this is a huge point of conflict between himself and the team. 

Mercury (Planet of intelligence) - Virgo

This placement absolutely fits, because I have no doubts that this man challenges whatever person is giving him the data he needs during a race. He absolutely wants to know as much as possible to be able to be a part of the conversation and decision-making, I think that is something he values. This placement does have some super toxic traits to it, like there is almost an impatience with others that he perceives as wrong or challenges him without anything to back it up. The funniest part of this placement is that it’s usually seen in a lot of creative arts, so like, I like to think that Max is secretly into crafting, like I dunno, scrapbooking or something. 

Venus (Planet of love and pleasure) - Scorpio

This is such a toxic placement, and I think it makes me toxic that it’s one of my favorite placements. It’s such a consuming and dominating placement, full of this almost obsessive compassion and dedication. It’s a placement that can be really challenging to deal with in terms of the relationship aspect of this placement. Max wants to consume his partner essentially and can be pre-disposed to a lot of jealousy. I think in romantic relationships, there is a lot of reassurance that is needed, I don’t think he would take it well if his dominance was challenged.

Mars (Planet of physical energy) - Sagittarius

I get the sense that he definitely has ADHD tendencies like he absolutely gets distracted over the smallest things. There is a lot of passion behind this placement, so there is no half-assing anything. He puts his all into everything that he does, likely to an unhealthy level. There is again this insane talent in pretty much everything that he does and puts his mind to. When it comes to physicality in relationships, there needs to be an emotional connection first and then the physical connect comes and it comes quick. 

Jupiter (Planet of luck, optimism, and success) - Aquarius

Max has no problem making friends, once they get past the abrasive and kind of narcissistic personality. There is an incredible sense of success and longevity in this placement too, but I think that he needs to be careful to not get bored with it. He needs to make sure that there is some aspect of his career that remains challenging, this is going to ensure that he continues to be a force of nature. Aquarius brings a lot of luck to others that he surrounds himself with, and I think his abrasive nature is a defense mechanism of sorts. 

Saturn (Planet of responsibility)  - Aries

Saturn is at a disadvantage when it’s in Aries, so this is a little rough. I don’t think that this is much of a challenge though, because Max has so much stubbornness and dedication through his chart, if anything, this delay is likely beneficial. I get the sense that Max has already overcome a lot of obstacles with this placement, and it’s likely led to some difficulties in forming interpersonal relationships, because he may see them as an obstacle before anything else. I think that the one big struggle that this placement will bring to him is the tendency to isolate. 

Uranus (Planet of change and originality) - Aquarius 

Again, Max is incredibly intelligent and challenges those around him on an almost academic level. I think in terms of change, there is a lot of potential for change, in many things. I think that it is a huge possibility that there is a significant change to his career, but it’s going to be one of those things that is so planned out, it won’t really be a surprise. 

Neptune (Planet of mystery and illusion) - Capricorn

Max is definitely not on the spiritual side of things and instead is very much into the practical side of things. While there may be some religion or spirituality, it is not something that is really emphasized. I think that with everything in his chart, he really values the scientific side of things and answers. He wants data, he wants proof, and he wants answers. 

Pluto (Planet of death and rebirth) - Sagittarius

We see it under Neptune, but it is really solidified here. Max wants the truth and he wants the information behind everything. He wants the data, he wants the supporting information, and he is going to get it one way or another. I get the sense that he definitely is the one that will hold your secrets close to his heart and isn’t one for airing out others' shit. 

THE HOUSES:

First house (house of self): Mars and Pluto 

I love Mars here because it again tells me that there is an impulsive nature to Max’s personality. He can be a loose cannon and definitely challenges everyone around him who offers any sort of advice. Pluto on the other hand is more about the personality than the behaviors. Pluto brings in this intense and magnetic personality, he is able to draw people in with ease, but also values his own personal alone time. 

Second house (house of possessions): Neptune 

This is so funny to me because I know he has no cohesiveness to his interior design, he thinks something is aesthetically pleasing? Perfect, he wants it. While he values aesthetics more than anything, I think that there is also an emphasis on the sentimental side of things. I think that there is a need to hold onto the good, in order to put some of the “bad” out of mind. 

Third house (house of communication): Uranus and Jupiter 

Uranus and Jupiter are actually so funny to me here because they bring the worst out of each other when it comes to communication. Jupiter has this incredibly optimistic outlook on things and an emphasis on keeping busy, whereas Uranus has this need to be independent and carve his own path. I think that the two placements while bringing out the worst in each other, work really well for Max. I think that there is a huge benefit to this because I think Uranus brings the optimism of Jupiter down to a more realistic level. 

Fifth house (house of creativity and sex): Saturn 

Does Max know how to have fun? I think that when he does allow himself to relax, it is only on a physical level. I think that he is not able to turn off the mental side of work and planning. There is a struggle to find the line between turning off work completely. When it comes to relationships and love, I think that this is one of the most important things to him, but if he feels that he has lost the respect of those he loves, it causes a spiral. 

Tenth house (house of career): Moon and Mercury 

I love that the Moon is in the tenth house because it’s seen in very public-facing careers. Obviously, as a professional athlete, his career is going to be incredibly public-facing, and I think there is a huge boost to this. Mercury also points to the need to rely on a team, and being able to handle changes within this team as well. Obviously, professional athletes are going to deal with a lot of changes in terms of their professional teams, but I think that Mercury is the perfect placement because he can adapt to the changes with a lot of ease…as long as they don’t challenge his position. 

Eleventh house (house of hopes, wishes, and friendship): Sun 

I see clips of Max yapping at everyone, like with ease. I think that this placement is absolutely telling of this. He is able to make conversation with just about everyone, about anything. I think a lot of this comes down to his intelligence, he is able to connect with pretty much everyone because of this. In terms of hopes and wishes, there is definitely a tendency to set HIGH goals, and really strive to be the best and accomplish the most. 

Twelfth house (house of self-undoing): Venus 

This placement is rough, I think that it’s possible that there is a struggle with finding a balance between a romantic relationship, privacy, and feeling fulfilled. I definitely see the struggle with his emotions and his almost analytical personality and intelligence. 

THE ASPECTS: 

Conjunctions - 

Mars and Pluto: His nickname is Mad Max, right? I’ve heard that a few times now. With this conjunction there is a quick and almost violent temper, it’s easy to set him off, and it can be difficult to calm him down. 

Mercury and Moon: Again, Max is a certified genius. He has so much intelligence, but I don’t think there is a lot of emotional intelligence. 

Jupiter and Uranus: When Max feels trapped in something, he gets restless, almost violently so. I think that he needs to have a strong support system in place to talk him through some of those moments when he feels trapped. 

Uranus and Neptune: This conjunction happens every 171 years, fun fact. It screams of originality, carving his own legacy, and rising above what is imaginable. 

Venus and Mars: Max has found a way to balance his natural charm with his natural dominance. It can be overwhelming, but I think that’s beneficial because it works as a defense mechanism. 

[world-of-aus]

Love & Barbells - pt. 2

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky (gym crush) x Reader

Warnings: none. Bucky being the best spotter to ever have existed, and again what is with the shirt off BARNES?!

Author’s Note: This is a much lengthier part, with a lot more gym lingo thrown in, for my non gym goers if you’re confused on anything pls let me know and I will provide as much info for you all as I can. I hope you enjoy this part, and can we all just agree Bucky is the best spotter, like this man cannot be matched, truly cannot wait for leg day! Happy Reading Buns!

“Oh my god,” your roommate squealed form bouncing on the couch as you recalled the last interaction you had with Bucky, before leaving the gym for the day, “please tell me you’re going to actually take him up on that leg day session!”

Heat floods your cheeks; you feel yourself going bashful at the thought of entering that gym on your next leg day and working through a routine with the man you’ve had your eye on for months now since you started there. “Y/n you have too,” your friend encourages with a nudge, “you’ve been working up the courage to have any sort of interaction for months now and you finally have it laid out in front of you, and he’s the one that approached you!”

“I want to, but that’s three days from now, what if he forgets about it by then,” you question the insecurity of past gym interactions beginning to creep in. Your roommate can read you like the back of her hand, “listen,” she murmurs as she scoots in closer hand falling to your knee, “not all gym guys are egotistical lug heads like Brock.” You involuntarily shiver at the mention of the man’s name, “hey look at me,” she encourages giving you kind eyes when you meet her gaze, “this is a new gym, new management, and definitely new people, this isn’t Primal Strength.”

“I know, I know,” you nod, “but I can’t help but feel like what if it becomes it, what if I stumble across another Brock here at this new location and have to find another gym because of it, I already have trouble getting out of my head most days when I go.” Your roommate is shaking her head, “you’ve been at this new location for months now y/n, If there was another Brock it would have happened already, but you and I both know there’s not, and I think it’s time you break down those walls a little and let the guy you’ve been admiring from afar in.”

She’s managed to bring out a smile on your face, her body leaning into yours as she gets her arms around you, her chin hooking on your shoulder, “still can’t believe he called you sweetheart, how’d he say it again?” Laughter breaks your lips as you fall back, the two of you settling into the cushions as you retell her the events that transpired during your leg day.

“So, you and new girl,” Steve hums over the rim of his protein bottle, “was surprised it took you so long to approach her.”

Bucky looks up from where’s he’s stood at the stove whisking away at his egg whites the hot oiled pan waiting for his batter to be poured. “Can it and drink your breakfast Rogers.”

Steve downs the last of his protein blend, a satisfied ‘ah’ leaving his lips as he uncaps the bottle to place it In the sink, he turns to his friend leaning up against counter. “There, breakfast drank, now you and y/n, surprised it took you so long to approach her, s’not like you.” Bucky wants to chuck something at his best pal but the closest thing is his bowl of mixed spinach and tomato, and he really doesn’t want to have just plain egg whites this morning. He opts to give Steve his back as he pours in his mix into the awaiting frying pan, “why, would you have approached her sooner,” he questions his friend wanting to see what he would say.

“With how often she catches your attention yeah,” he answers, “I would have approached her sooner.”

Bucky’s cheeks grow warm, he didn’t think anyone had noticed, “she works out alone everyday Steve, no one’s around to spot her and I’m sure just like everyone else in the gym she’s bound to challenge herself to go up in weight.”

“So then approach her like a normal person in the gym next time, when you she’s struggling ask her if she needs a spot, don’t go changing up your whole routine because you’ve been out of the game for too long and forget how to function around a girl.”

Bucky stops mid stir, “is that what this is about,” he laughs as he turns to face his friend, “you’re mad because I threw legs into the mix, it was one set Steve we went right back to upper body right after!

“We went from bicep curls to squats then back to barbell curls, we agreed to upper body,” he laughs.

Bucky shakes as he turns back to his breakfast leaning forward to shut off the stove, “I know, I know, I should have left it at I saw her struggling but -”

“Your brain short circuited at the fact that she actually spoke back,” Steve offers, this time Bucky flings a forgotten spinach at his friend as he goes to plate his breakfast. “Oh come on now Buck,” the blonde laughs “m’just pulling your leg pal, but hey you actually going to take her through that leg day you mentioned?”

“Well that’s the plan,” Bucky answers, “but only if she wants too, why are you thinking about moving our leg day to the same day, we can work through it in partners.

“Actually,” Steve smirks, “Wilson and I talked about moving it, you know so you can focus on your partner that day, though something tells me that won’t be an issue for you.”

Steve’s laughter fills the kitchen as the dish towel meets his shoulder, “Oh c’mon Buck you know you’re gonna have a great time.”

“without you there, oh yeah definitely,” Bucky shoots back wide grin on his lips.

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey we still on to push tomorrow,” Bucky questions, “yeah, but hey, try to have your head in the game yeah?”

“watch it pal or I’ll change it to HITT.”

Your roommate was in your ear, “Listen don’t overthink it,” you hear her say over the busy streets of New York, “it’s just another day at the gym.” You hold back your snort scanning your badge as you nod at the person behind the front desk making a beeline for the treadmills as you pass the front desk. “You know you’re the one that called me right?”

Your roommate let’s out a noise, “excuse me for trying to be supportive, I’m trying to be encouraging!” You're laughing as you place your bag down in a cubby, hands reaching for your shaker bottle as you move to one of the lone treadmills. “And you know I appreciate it,” you answer as you press down on the start button, the belt to the machine beginning to move, “but I told you yesterday, it’s nothing new, I don’t want to make a big fuss out of one interaction, I’m still going to come in and do what I always do.”

“Admire the literal man of your dreams,” she questions the smirk sounding through the line.

“Next arm day I’m adding more weights,” you threaten fingers reaching for the arrow to increase the speed.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she sing-songs, “you might have a new partner who can actually keep up with you soon enough that you’re going to forget all about me.”

A smile pulls at your lips as you adjust your ear buds, “while that would be amazing, I highly doubt that, besides how would I get through my workouts without the best commentary?”

“You just love to hear me bitch you out when you make me do another rep,” she laughs, you’re laughing with her, “but you love it too.” “You’re right,” she agrees, “listen I just got to work, update me when you’re out of the gym?”

“You know I will, we still having pasta for dinner?”

“Of course, see you later?”

“See you later,” you reply before the line cuts off your music kicking in.  

Falling into your headspace is smooth, your music syncing with the strides you take on the machine, the pre-workout you took this morning slowly starting to kick in as you warm up. You bring yourself up to a jog ten minutes into your fifteen-minute workout, your racing heart pushing you further as the last five minutes tick away.

By the time the cool off period kicks in you’ve worked up a sweat, your body warm and ready for your workout as the machine comes to a stop, your wobbly feet carrying you off the treadmill as you make your way towards an open bench by the mirrors. You plop down onto the bench adjusting your earphones as you catch your breath. In your mind you’re going over the exercises you have planned for today, and the number of reps you’d like to hit.

Sucking in a breath and leaving your water bottle behind as a placeholder you move over to the mirrors grabbing two dumbbells that feel just heavy enough to give your muscle a nice strain. The first two workouts to wake your muscles up are fairly easy, and you find you're able to push past your usual.

You’re feeling good as you place the dumbbells down by the bench, getting yourself up as you go to rack up the barbell for the bench-press. Though you felt ready to up your weight by five more pounds you knew not to push it right away, so you began with five less than your usual and would work up. The first few reps you manage to push out are butter smooth, barely any strain leaving you with enough confidence as you racked up to your usual weight. The next reps come just as smoothly, barely any strain to push through each rep, there’s a renewed confidence as you once again find yourself adding weight to the barbell.  

You look over the added five pounds, five pounds never seemed like much but when actually added it was indeed much. Taking your seat on the bench you stretch out your arms relieving as much of the tension build up as you can before you’re laying back adjusting yourself to the bar. Adjusting your hands at the right placement, bracing yourself you suck in a breath as you push the bar up, the weight going up easily before you’re bringing it down to you.  

The movements aren’t as easy as your first two sets, there’s a strain after the fifth rep, your arms shaking as you push the weight upwards. You’re then two away from the tenth rep when the struggle really hits, the weight not lifting off your chest as easy as the first six. You just barely manage to get the bar overhead, a disgruntled curse leaving your lips as you debate on racking the barbell, holding off on that last rep. You debate against it, the weight falling quicker as you push for that last rep, a mistake on your end as you find the weight barely budging at all.

Panic begins to settle as you talk yourself up, “c’mon, c’mon get it up!” The weight doesn’t budge, “fuck,” you groan as you attempt again, your back arching off the bench as you struggle.  

You hear him before you see him, “Jesus sweetheart, you trying to kill yourself over here,” he chuckles, hands coming beneath the bar, aiding but not completely pulling the weight off you. “There you go, c’mon, up, up, that’s it!” He helps you re-rack the bar, your arms falling limp at your sides as you finally get a look at him. He’s smiling down at you, his hair slick with sweat, his shirt hanging from his hips, “you know if you’re going to keep working out like this you’ve got to get yourself a partner, even the strongest people in here need a spot.”

You’re pushing yourself to a sitting position, turning your body towards his, smile on your lips, “I actually do have a partner, but just recently our schedules changed, they don’t really line up till the weekend and well even then she’s not a huge fan of how I train.”

And maybe Bucky’s pushing his luck seeing as the two of you just started talking yesterday, though he’s watched you during your sets for longer and your determination has him believing you could keep up with him and the guys. “What are you working on today?”

“Was doing upper,” you reply, “but I promised my roommate I’d up her weights by five next session, so full body,” you answer recalling your phone call from earlier.

“You do push on your full body days?”

“That’s all I do,” you smile, “well hey, know I said I’d join you on your next leg day, but would you mind moving it up a few days and joining me for push?”

Your smile morphs into a smirk, “already trying to get out of leg day?”

That draws a laugh from the brunette, cheeks warming under your teasing gaze, “just wanna make sure you can keep up.” You gasp in mock shock, “aren’t you the one coming to my aid because I’m always pushing my limits?”

“Got me there,” Bucky laughs, “so whaddya say?”

You look over at his friends, Steve and Sam, “they won’t mind,” you question, “I really wouldn’t want to intrude on your groups set.”

Bucky looks over his shoulder eyes meeting Steve and Sam’s awaiting gazes, a gleam in their eyes, he looks back down at you, “I have a feeling they won’t mind at all,” he extends a handout, an invitation.

You accept his hand with one hand grabbing your bag with the other as you let him pull you up, heat consumes your body as you follow him, fingers wrapped like a vice around the strap of your gym bag. The closer you got to where they were set up the more you wanted to tuck tail and run, you didn’t know them aside from the times you saw them working out together since you started here, and your one interaction with Bucky yesterday definitely wasn’t enough to call you an acquaintance at best.

Sam’s friendly voice is stopping you from running away though, his form getting into your space when you’re close enough, hand outstretched as he introduces himself, Steve following with an even warmer smile. “Barnes thinks you can keep up,” he grins, “and with the way you rep out your sets, I’m beginning to think you just might be able too.”

“I’m sure I can keep up,” comes your reply, Sam’s grin growing, “well come on then,” he claps his hands, “let's put you to work, see if you’re not all talk.”

[oceanicxeyes]

Starter for: @betweenmuses

Pairing: Patrick x Alexander “How come I am hardly surprised you reached out?” There was a faint glee of pride in Patrick’s voice as he stepped into the hotel room – the occasional place where he would meet with Alexander whenever they got together. His blue eyes scanned the evident luxury surrounding him. Nothing below penthouse level or less than absolutely perfection. Alexander King was a man that truly enjoyed to flaunt his wealth the same way he waved his influence with words and Patrick was not opposed to such antics. He had many, many clients… but few had the necessary presence to actually appear as they claimed: powerful, influential and borderline egotistical. Alexander was one of the rare cases where his bite was as worse as his bite. He could easily back up all those words that came out of his mouth. A turn-on, really. The escort walked around the penthouse, barely deigning Alexander with more than a quick glance – sure, he was HIRED to be there but he was never one to give into things easily – tapping his fingers in a rhythmic fashion over a rather expensive looking mahogany desk. “You don’t have to say it.” It would probably bruise his ego to admit something as trivial as missing someone. “I know my presence was missed. Not everyone can keep up with your ravenous appetites.” His lips curled into a faint ghost of a smile, something that exuded a predatory aura more than a subservient prey. And it was always fun to boost someone’s ego. Make them feel needed. Wanted. CRAVED.

“So tell me…” Patrick finally turned all of his attention to Alexander, almost like he actually noticed he was there after these minutes. Maybe other people would cower in fear and obey Alexander’s whims without a second thought – but Patrick always liked playing with fire. Even if he got burnt in the process. The distance between him and the client vanished with mere steps, shamelessly invading the other man’s personal space without a damn care in the world as he gently sniffed the rather expensive cologne oozing from him. “What’s on tonight’s menu, darling? A massage? Talking...?” Like a coiled snake ready to invest, Patrick wetted his lips and ever so gently – almost feather like – ran his fingertips over the buttons of Alexander’s shirt. “Or we skipping everything and you want the main dish already?”

[yanderes-galore]

Could you do a concept for Jack Horner from puss in boots?

I have mixed feelings about this character but honestly he's voiced by one of my favorite comedians so there's that :)

Many people write him softer than this but... this felt in character for me so I hope the darker take is nice also?

Yandere! Jack Horner Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Swearing, Jack Horner is an asshole by nature, Abuse of power, Manipulation, Threats, Murder, Jealousy, Implied forced touching, Sadism, Jack likes to hurt darling (mostly) emotionally, I purposefully made him horrific (as you can tell I again have a love/hate relationship with a character), Kidnapping mention.

Jack Horner is a vile man.

He doesn't even deny the fact he's a monster or try to hide it.

He's an irredeemable megalomanic crime lord that wants nothing but power.

He doesn't care about the good things in life and is always striving for more.

You'd have a really tough time if he wants to pursue you for whatever reason.

Jack is selfish and greedy... he wouldn't consider how his darling feels in the slightest.

All he cares for is himself.

Jack Horner is Intimidating, Possessive, Manipulative, Forceful, Entitled, Selfish, Easily jealous, Sadistic and Controlling.

In his eyes... he comes first.

He is characterized as a horrible man so I will write him as such.

Jack does not seem like a yandere who would be affectionate towards his darling.

Not without something in return.

Jack will take and take from his darling and rarely gives.

He's not entirely egotistical, more just greedy and easily jealous.

You don't really have to worship him but he does want your attention on him and him alone.

There's no point in hoping he gets better.

When his obsession peaks he's only slightly better towards you.

Affection would still be sparse... but rewarded.

Jack would have trouble being attentive to the needs of another person.

Even though he's obsessed with you he isn't entirely sure how to act on it in a healthy way.

He's a monster so he acts as such.

If you're harmed by him or if your family is harmed by him, he doesn't care.

Jack takes what he wants.

Jack has a lot of power due to both his business and the amount of magical artifacts he has.

He likes power and definitely abuses it.

You're most likely scared of him due to his infamous reputation and power.

Which works for him as fear makes you more compliant to his advances.

After all, when Jack Horner sets his sights on you...

The looming fear of your demise kicks in when he tries to make an effort to be... closer.

What? Are you seriously going to refuse?

Jack has no remorse for violence and murder... which is the cause for your growing fear.

Jack is easily jealous and possessive of his darling.

Jack seems like he'd be childish at times.

When he makes his intentions clear with his darling he expects you to be with him all the time.

The moment he sees you with another person, friendly or romantic, Jack's killing them.

None of that manipulate them away kind of thing.

Murder. Straight up kills them. In view or not he just wants them gone.

Then he's going to be pissy that you were with that person.

Jack probably ends up being mad or aggressive with his darling and gets a bit handsy with them.

In all the ways but you mostly just get bruises from his grip.

He feels like he can use you to his advantage when he's obsessed with you.

You've charmed him but he still is horrible with being gentle.

Jack feels like he can demand you for affection and attention..

When he calls you to him he expects you to adore him.

The moment you hesitate on affection?

He'll nudge you in the right direction or threaten you.

As said before, he's a monster who would utilize the fear you have for him to make you compliant with his wants and needs.

Jack has no sympathy or empathy.

If you fear him he doesn't care.

He may even be a bit sadistic with your fear.

Jack uses his size to his advantage to intimidate you and likes an obedient darling.

If you fight against him he doesn't mind correcting you.

You'd think he'd kill you... but he actually doesn't.

He prefers to find a way to humiliate or cause you pain.

Jack can't ever be corrected.

There's no fixing a man like him.

Jack would kidnap you.

He would definitely break all you love to get you to rely on him.

That way you have nowhere to go if you try to leave him!

It's hard to describe how he feels for you.

It's an extremely sadistic and greedy relationship this can shift between romantic and platonic.

He's never usually soft towards you for long so it's such a twisted dynamic.

However, to sweeten the concept a little bit, Jack has moments of weakness.

Moments where he clings to you for one reason or another and doesn't try to scare you.

They're in private and usually short, but get longer the further he is into his obsession.

Most of the time the obsession is harmful to you... but near the peak Jack is easier on you but not by much.

Enough to make you think he can change before he swaps again and finds a way to manipulate you again.

Jack is a monster and nothing is going to change that...

Introducing a darling to him makes him a possessive and jealous monster... but a monster all the same.

[thyandrawrites]

not sure if youve answered a similar question to this since looking through your ask box you get a lot of asks so apologies if this is redundant LMAO but ! what do you think touya would be like if he hadn’t died that day? do you think after being let down by his dad at sekoto peak he’d have given up trying to get his attention?? we don’t get a lot of insight into his character outside of his role in the family other than him refusing to make friends because ‘they’re in another world to me’ and that is SO… oh my god this kid , anyways. am just interested in how his relationship with his family (esp his dad because wheeeewww boy…) would have developed from there. is this a fic that exists?? there r civilian and pro hero touya aus but hmmmm

Hi. No worries, I do get a lot of asks, so I understand.

I think it all comes down to whether or not Enji kept training Shouto after Sekoto in this scenario.

A fact that a lot of people seem to gloss over (or forget) is that Touya always bent backwards to make excuses for his dad. Even when Enji never lifted a finger to hint that he cared about his eldest, Touya was always conjuring reasons as to why Enji didn't mean it, like he "was just too busy" "would come next time". In fact, Touya didn't even hold any grudges for how Enji didn't show up on Sekoto Peak that day, and essentially left him to die.

When we see him wake up from the coma, Touya's first thought is that his family, and his dad, is surely missing him. He doesn't even think twice about it before turning down the offer for more power, even though a power up would've made him more appealing in Enji's eyes. He's too loyal to family to betray them by seeking mentorship in anyone else but his dad:

Family is so important to him, in fact, that his second choice is to flee his captors and immediately run back home. He knows he's been absent for three years, and he thinks he has worried them sick. His urge to apologize for causing them that pain is so strong, it even overrides his need to be his father's masterpiece:

this panel ^ above is especially crucial to understand Touya's character. In this scene, Touya freely admits that his body is weaker than ever and that he'll likely have to give up his ambitions now, and yet that's only secondary to the need to be with his family again.

This tells us that Touya's primary motivator was never that of excelling at the genetic lottery purely for egotistical reasons. It is not arrogance, or, like many antis put it, "not knowing when to quit". He wanted to be his father's prodigy because he simply wanted Enji to love him. To be proud of him.

In fact, earning his father's love is such a priority of his that Touya routinely makes himself a doormat to try and meet Enji's needs, even when they directly clash with Touya's own wellbeing. And time after time, when even that isn't enough for his father to look at him, Touya keeps giving him endless chances of being a proper father, even as Enji never takes him up on it.

like, one factor that people often fail to take into account is that Touya was ready to go home. He didn't hold any ill feelings towards Enji for abandoning him to die, though he honestly should've. He was ready to put the umpteenth rejection behind him and give his dad another chance. Because Touya's true motivator is actually the desperate need for his family to accept him in turn just as unconditionally.

It's not being left alone at Sekoto that splinters his sense of self. It's coming back to the people he loved, the people he called family, and finding out that they didn't love him as much:

cause if they did, the abuse would've stopped. Enji would've quit training a replacement.

As I said, Touya is used to making excuses for Enji that justify the continued neglect. But what he sees here is the cold, harsh reality. While Touya was ready to give up everything just to reconcile with his dad, in the meantime Enji had given up absolutely nothing, and in fact persisted in his abusive path. While Touya thought Enji must be torn up with worries and regrets even now, the truth is that Enji hasn't thought about Touya in years, and isn't torn up about anything. In fact, he's perfectly fine knowing that his ambitions killed one son, and continuing his attempts to live vicariously through another, as if Touya's death was nothing more than a minor inconvenience along the road.

So. Touya would've reunited with the fam and never become a villain, if only Enji had stopped being an abusive prick in the meantime. It's right there, right in the text. He was ready to forgive and forget once again, if only Enji hadn't built him a shrine and then pissed on his memory.

All of this to say that if we are to imagine a scenario where Touya goes home and remains there, imho we should work on the ways to change Enji's behaviour, and not Touya's, because he is the reason Touya was, and still is, a stranger in his own house

[an-archaic-archivist]

Glitchtrap the puppet master

You ever think about how it must feel being possessed? Not being in control of your own body? I always thought that idea was horrifying. Fnaf Security Breach dabbles in this concept a little and leave some very dark implications as to what it's like. And because of the unsung main antagonist of the game, Glitchtrap.

It seems to me like Glitchtrap gave Glamrock Chica the ability to feel hunger just so he could torture and manipulate her into listening to him. She's always talking about working off those calories. Why else would she be able to feel hunger if she can't even process the food? What would be the point? It's to give Chica a stronger motivation. It's very common for people with anorexia to feel lightheaded and thus, more suggestible. Then, when Gregory crushes her, He amps up that feeling of hunger even more. no living thing can resist the feeling forever, after all. He would egg her on how she isn't good enough, that she isn't as pretty as Roxy. That she would only be useful if she caught Gregory. Speaking of Roxy...

Roxy seems pretty self absorbed most of the time. She's always talking about how she's the best and that no one can beat her. Glitchtrap probably amplified that trait of her so make her easier to control. All he would have to do is keep reinforcing the ideas she already has. You can even see her talking to herself in the mirror at the start of the game. I like to think that's Glitchtrap talking through her in that moment, sensing that Gregory showed up and getting her ready for it. Later on, when Gregory steals her eyes, Glitchtrap decides he's had enough of her failures and drops the kind act. Instead, he constantly berates her, telling her that she's worthless and that no one loves her, which Roxy echoes as she chases you.

I honestly don't have much to say about Monty. I feel like his is more self explanatory. He's somehow even more egotistical than Roxy and is also very aggressive. Glitchtrap heightened both aspects of Monty's personality for the same reasons as Roxy, except now, he wanted to created something much more mindless and persistent than Roxy. Like a wild animal on a leash. Who knows? Maybe that's why Monty might have killed Bonnie. Or maybe Bonnie broke free like Freddy did and tried to save someone. Except Freddy succeeds where he failed. But Gregory was already broken before he had the chance to help him...

While Gregory was Dr. Rabbit, Glitchtrap most likely magnified Gregory's stoicism and lack of empathy. Gregory isn't shown to be the most empathetic person in Security Breach. When Freddy is having an existential crisis when seeing the endo basement and he looks to Gregory for help, Gregory just says that he's a kid and doesn't know these things. Then when Gregory suggests stealing parts from Freddy's friends and Freddy is upset about this, Gregory just says that they're trying to kill him anyway. Keeping in mind that Gregory knows by now that all the animatronics are brainwashed and not acting of their own free will anymore, but he just ignores that. We also see him act very coldly at the end of G.G.Y. Telling Tony to meet him at the Pizzaplex, knowing well that Tony will probably die there. Likely at the hands of our favorite, criminally underutilized character, Vanny.

Vanessa is described in the emails as being a stereotypical girly girl that gets excited about everything and loves glitter and pink and rainbows. She's shown to have a childish side to her. So our old pal Glitchy focused on that part of her. Making it so that his new puppet would not only obey him without question, but would love doing so. Children require attention, Something only Glitchtrap will give her, isolating her from everyone else. Speaking to her like a showman would. Telling her that it's all one big game. A play where she's the star. A game she must win for his approval.

[pooppantsginger]

Hello!!! first tumblr post!!! Here is the start to a bimbo reader x cocky Doug Remer fic that i might continue if it’s wanted :)

Words: honestly idk i didn’t check

Authors note: This is inspired by some Bimbo!reader x doug Remer head cannons i read on here, so thanks to the author of that for the inspo!!

Sitting on the plush lawn, you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell you were doing there. Legs crossed, arms back, you were practically on display for any drunk guy that needed something to ogle at. Gross. But it wasn’t like that wasn’t the whole point. The whole reason you had gone to this weird driveway party was because you were bored and needed a pickup. Didn’t matter who it was really, i mean, of course you had some standards, but you didn’t really have your eyes on anyone in particular. That was until you saw him. That asshole with the stupid hair. The guy you would later learn was none other than Doug Remer, driveway extraordinaire. Or whatever the fuck that meant. (He definitely made up that title for himself and told people to start spreading it around. You could just tell.)

You watched him make shot after shot, sitting up and crossing your arms to get a better look. His grown out hair and shitty glasses were almost, in a way, charming. He must’ve noticed you staring a hole into the back of his head (more like ass, but who’s counting), because before taking his next shot he turned around to look at you. He eyed you up and down for a moment before winking and mouthing “This one’s for you.” Cocky, but confident, and attractive to a degree. Unfortunately, he must’ve been distracted, because he totally fucking missed the shot. More ironically, it was the only shot he had missed the entire night so far. You tried to contain your laughter, but to no avail. Clenching your stomach as you laughed, you realized you were getting some looks, but you didn’t care that much about what anyone else might’ve thought. Except for Doug, of course, but it was just too funny to ignore. You took a moment to regain your composure before looking back up, getting a good look at his face. You could tell he was embarrassed and trying to play it off, making sure he still looked tough. But you could see right through his little act.

After the game, there was still a smile on your face to remind you of what happened. As the crowd around the house started to dissipate, you looked around for a moment to find the guy who had caught your attention earlier. He wasn’t that hard to find. His curly hair and cocky demeanor were pretty easy to spot. You noticed he didn’t seem embarrassed anymore, but he looked excited. Like he had just received some good news. You hoped that would change when you walked over to him.

“Hey.” You said simply, a sweet tone in your voice. You crossed your arms and looked him up and down. You noticed he was a little nervous again. Probably trying not to stare. It wasn’t good to be egotistical, at least that’s what everyone else told you, but you just seemed to have that effect on men and women alike. “Oh. Uh. Hi.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. He was definitely nervous. Good.

“You sure know how to romance a lady, huh? That shot was impressive.” You said teasingly. His eyes widened, almost like he wasn’t expecting you to bring that up so quickly. He just wasn’t prepared, was he?

“Oh, yeah, about that,” He started, clearing his throat and straightening his posture. “Trust me, im better than that. That was just a slip up. If you come next time, you’ll see.” A smirk worked its way across his face. Suddenly, his ego was back and better than ever. “Sure. We’ll see if there’s a next time. Now, give me your number already.” You pulled out your phone, (flip phone, of course. It’s the 90’s or whateva.) opening it up and handing it to him. As he put his number in your phone, you told him your name and what days you were free. He handed your phone back, seemingly a little surprised you were so straight to the point. Normally that was his job. But he didn’t think that was something to complain about, not yet at least.

“Perfect.” You said with a flirty smile, putting your phone back in your pocket. “This your house?” You asked, pointing to the house that was up the driveway you were standing on. “Yeah, pretty sweet, huh?” He said, almost like he was trying to convince you it was something worth complimenting.

“Remer! Stop talking to that broad and get your ass in here, dude!” Suddenly a voice spoke from inside the house. The man in front of you groaned, rolling his eyes. “Sorry. That’s my jackass roommate. Oh yeah, you can just call me Remer by the way. My names Doug, but Remer’s just what everyone calls me.” He said before he slowly started walking backwards, keeping eye contact. “Well, i gotta go, message me, ‘kay?” You smiled, waving at him in response. “Sounds good.”

“See you at our next game?” He shouted as you both walked in different directions. You looked behind you to answer, still walking. “Don’t count on it!” You said teasingly. Honestly, he probably could count on it. Maybe he was worth the energy.

[thehightiefling]

personal stuff under the cut, please do not feel obligated to read or respond. i just need to put this somewhere, i normally don't like putting stuff online

but i just. needed a space, i guess

being neurodivergent it's just. hard. fitting in somewhere, belonging somewhere.

on top of that there's the PTSD angle and I just. idk. i feel. not even human. don't get me wrong, being medicated for it finally has helped a lot.

but it's still so painfully obvious i'm different and just. can't function the same way as others. i don't know how to be a human correctly. or how to have friendships.

and it's so frustrating because i don't know what is wrong with me, what i'm doing wrong. i mean like i know i get attached, and clingy. but i try to be hyperaware of that and pretty much beg people to please set boundaries with me. idk if that's more to the mental issues or the trauma, either way i want so badly for people to like me. i'll take even the slightest crumb, because i just so badly want friendship. you don't even have to like me/care about me the same way i do you.

like i have spent so much of my life alone and in bad places. life is hard, you never know what people are going through. so i always try to be honest and sincere with people. like if i enjoy something someone does/make, or something as small as i like their hair/outfit, i'll tell them that. the few friendships i have had i love them with so much intensity and i want those people to know how much they mean to me, because it is so special to me, even if the the other party doesn't feel the same. it is all i have. and i am so grateful.

i've had my excitement over mundane things or things my friends think/say/do pointed out to me before and i worry it's more annoying than endearing.

i know there's a saying that some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime or whatever. and i'm in my late twenties; myself and those i know are married and have kids, careers, homes, etc., i do know that life happens and while you may care a lot for someone, you just can't prioritize them in your life. totally get that and that's okay.

i'm just. mourning. because i feel like i'm only always in someone's life for a brief time, and then i outlive my uselessness. and i just disappear from their lives quietly, or something drastic happens.

i just. see these intimate, close friendships, and i just don't know why i'm not capable of doing that. i see people who have been friends since they were children, who see each other regularly, who help each other with their children or are there for major life events, good or bad. like i read one post about how these two women had been friends since they were kids, and the one basically became like an aunt to the other's children. they were literally viewed as family. they'd buy each other flowers, babysit, curl up and platonically cuddle together, spend holidays together. i just wish i could develop bonds like that.

i just almost wish i could give friends a 'feedback survey', like what they don't like about me, what i'm doing wrong. i know it's adult life. and i do have dear friends who are genuinely my family, unfortunately health and distance keep us physically apart. i just worry that eventually they'll be gone too, you know?

i feel like egotistical or attention seeking posting this. that's not my intent. i just wanted to get my thoughts out there. and idk, maybe someone will read this and understand the feeling. the human experience is really isolating

[quillkiller]

Hi hi hi who do u think rita’s worst enemy is? Like someone she would hate with a passion?

GILDEROY!!!!!!!! GILDEROY!!!!!! he’s her worst enemy and he doesn’t even know it. she hates his guts and fantasises about killing him on a daily basis. in very graphic detail. i even wrote a fic where bella kills him for her<3

the thing is. he’s (from what i understand) from a wealthy family, a fraud, cheating his way to the top. steals other peoples stories and takes the fame and glory. the fame and glory that rita wants more than anything in the world. she thinks he’s pathetic and vile and talks funny and brags and its just soooooo easy for him. he has everyone fooled and she can’t stand it. everything he has should be HERS!!!!!!!!

and the thing is. shes no angel. she’s morally fucked up and cheats her way to the top in her own way. she is NOT above sleeping her way to the top even. like she’ll tell herself that shes doing those things for the readers. they should get to see her work. its just that good. so its not cheating….. but she wont steal. she refuses to steal and she holds onto that as if it’s some moral high ground she can claim. she genuinely believes shes entirely self made / rags to riches / etc. as if it makes her good!!! when she’s so fucked up in so many other ways!!!! my delusional princess with a disorder who refuses to acknowledge that shes gaining clout simply because bella from the house of black starts paying attention to her. she whole heartedly believes she’s self made and different and unique and there will never be anyone like her again. no one as special and interesting and clever as her (she honestly isnt any of these things <3) and if only someone would give her a chance. if only gilderoy didnt exist. if only she wasn’t a woman in a world of gilderoys

and then there IS!!!! the gender aspect of it. like she is a woman in the 70s and she’s not going to get as much attention and she latches onto that as her truth. she would become an active feminist simply for selfish reasons. because she should be famous and she isn’t!!!!!! and GILDEROY IS GETTING FAMOUS!!!!!! AND HE’S A MAN!!!!!!! a useless, boring, ugly, egotistical man!!!!!! and he isn’t a better writer or storyteller than her, but honestly i think they’re both pretty much on the same skill level. but i do believe that if she did fake it like he did she still wouldnt get the attention he gets. because it makes sense, being the 70s and the political climate and whatever. shes a distasteful young woman with a temper and no one likes her. a man can be distasteful with a temper and people will respect him.

so there is a gender aspect to it. which only makes it even more interesting to me. and anyway i didnt mean to make this reply so long agdjdjdjfjf BUT HE IS HER ENEMY AND SHE WANTS HIM DEAD

he doesn’t even really know she exists probably and he doesn’t care one way or the other. its a one sided beef and her meaning of self care if picturing different ways to dismember him <3

[ask-ryder-emerson-lotf]

Rambling post! I’ve had uh…MANY….Of the littluns (and Simon) ask about my…uh….what do you call them? Pairings! Yeah! Those! So I’ll be talking about them!

Ralph and Jack: They’re sort of…annoying. I find them a little goofy though! Their silly banter is entertaining.

Jack and Roger: I don’t think Roger’s a very good influence…He’s been allowing Jack to have violent thoughts about hurting the pigs on the island and I just don’t like that…Jack’s been obsessed with hunting.

Ralph and Simon: Simon actually asked me about what I think about him and Ralph! Don’t tell him, but…I believe Ralph thinks he’s annoying. He’s overly clingy towards Ralph. He’s desperate for Golden Boy’s attention and uh…well…I think they’d be good friends if Ralph would be nicer!

Roger and Simon: I think they’d be good friends! Maybe Simon can calm Roger’s…violent tendencies. And maybe Roger can make Simon more uh…assertive! He needs it. They’re both really quiet and I think they’d bond over that factor.

Maurice and Sam:…..Not sure!…Maurice is secretly a nice person, I can feel it. He just tries to goof around and gets shouted at for it. Sam and Eric are both very silly. I think Sam is a good friend for Maurice! They can be silly and goofy together!

Hmm….Not sure about anybody else. I don’t think the boys like each other all that much. They sure look up to me though! They don’t pay much attention to the sins though.

….Maybe I can give a little insight on my thoughts on them, too!

Sloth: I met him first and I think he’s very nice! Even though he’s kinda a liability because he falls asleep on me. I could be walking in the forest with him, and he would fall asleep in front of me and trip me. It’s quite annoying at times. But he’s a good friend!

Lust: He’s…ahem. Well! Very pretty looking! I will say that! I thought he was a girl at first. I think he secretly has some sort of inner turmoil going on about that. He’s very nice to me, maybe even a little too much. I’m getting very annoyed when he decides to basically hog the lagoon all day. It’s not like I can’t bathe in front of someone, it’s just I DON’T want to. Not around him. I get…Uncomfortable.

Wrath: I…I’m scared of him sometimes. He tries to hype up Jack whenever they go hunting and that annoys the hell out of me. I don’t think he’s a very…good person. He’s better than some of them, I suppose. Maybe I need to talk to him some more…

Gluttony: He’s actually pretty nice! He eats the unripe berries for me and Sloth to eat the more ripe ones. He’s very sweet and considerate! Although he complains about being hungry a lot. I think he’s joking about it though, y’know, because all we have are fish, pigs and berries to eat. Not much of a choice, huh?

Envy: Quite an odd guy…He kinda just looks around and listens. He reminds me of Simon, but if he tried harder to speak up. Nobody but me and some of the biguns listen to his suggestions on what to do with the island, though. I feel a little bad for him.

Pride: Very egotistical. He tries too hard to impress. I don’t really like him. I think he either gets too much attention at home or too little…I can’t tell.

Greed: As his nickname or…Well…Maybe it’s his real name? I’m not sure. They all told me these “sin” names and acted like it was their real names….Anyways, he’s very greedy for attention and affection from people. He’s overwhelming…I think he’s trying to hurt everyone on this island with his…toxicity. I hate him. I don’t hate easily. Dislike? Sure. But hate? Never. Unless you’re like the scum of the Earth. I truly believe that he is. He has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I’m pretty sure he’s hurting Envy somehow. I’m not sure, it’s just a…personal belief.

(Sins belong to @lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks)

[x-kiwi-03]

Here, have this shitty, ancient Chisaki origin analysis I wrote bc I lack content (I just babble throughout the entire thing)👍

His origin: We really don't know a whole lot about his childhood. We see him at quite a young age on the streets, dirty, seemingly homeless during the scene where Pops (the Boss before Kai) takes him in. We also have another scene in the flower garden where Pops is getting onto Kai after he got into a fight at school, then Pops patting Kai on the head and thanking him for sticking up for the Yakuza. With those flashbacks we could make the assumption that Kai had an ok childhood, he seemed to have a good relationship with his adoptive father figure, was getting an education, lived in the large Yakuza compound, etc.

So then why did he end up so messed up? Why is it that there are so few good memories of Pops shown? If their relationship was as good as Kai talked about it, then why wasn't there more to show? Like the little things, helping with homework, playing ball, watching movies, saying goodnight and being tucked into bed, hell, we never even saw Kai smile. There was only those two memories of being taken in and patted on the head. Which leads me to believe Kai didn't have all that great of a childhood. I believe Kai was deeply emotionally neglected, which is why he felt such a strong need to repay Pops, so that he could get that same recognition that he got that one time in the flower garden. Kai craves Pops' attention because Kai loves him. Who wouldn't crave the attention of those they love, especially when it's been denied over and over again?

Later one in Kai's adulthood, we see Pops getting onto Kai for disobedience and breaking Yakuza rules by selling drugs. Kai defends himself by saying he was doing it for the greater good of the Yakuza, so Pops sorta let's him off with a warning, telling him not to "stray from the path layed out before him." This is the same way Pops dealt with Kai after he got into a fight at school, Pops didn't agree with Kai's actions but also didn't discipline him. This is a type of neglect, and it teaches a child that they can get away with anything unpunished, and in Kai's case, with praise. Discipline is a crucial part a child's upbringing, it not only teaches them what not to do in the future, and why they shouldn't, but also how to discipline themselves as adults. You know that little voice in the back of your head that tells you to eat an entire package of Oreos because they're so delicious? Do you know what stops you? The voice of your childhood discipline. "You know, I'll just eat a few and heat up some leftovers if I'm still hungry," or, "No, you fat fart, you've already had your daily almond!" Whether it was healthy or unhealthy discipline it still stopped you from making a dumb decision. That is the reason people don't give into dangerous impulses, like drug abuse or alcoholism, and Kai very obviously hasn't been taught that.

Real quick; no, the undisciplined adults I'm talking about aren't "Karens," those people are undisciplined children that could change their parents answer with whining. Those are egotistical mega narcissist, I believe Kai is a sociopath, but back to the point.

In that same scene, Pops says something along the lines of, "I know you're just trying to thank me for taking you in, but you always take things too far." Insinuating that situations like these have often happend throughout Kai's upbringing. For each time Kai was "gotten onto," he also got what he craved, attention.

Skip to after Kai puts Pops in a coma and starts using Eri for drugs, that character was his facade. Overhaul I mean. We see his real self during prison break. Kai isn't full of himself like the way Overhaul is represented (not as much, anyway), Kai hates himself. He feels unworthy of care, unworthy of a home, unworthy of a family. That's why he cares so much for the Yakuza, he wants to feel worthy of having it. That's also why he hated being called "Kai Chiskai," he no longer wanted to be himself, so he threw Kai away and became this Overhaul character that felt worthy.

I hypothesize that this is also why he dislikes Eri, because he feels unworthy. I've seen things about Kai seeing himself in Eri, and since he hates himself, he let's all that hatred out on her. I think that's part of it, but not all. I think there's a bit of jealousy in there. There's no proof, but maybe Pops was very loving to Eri because they were blood related, and maybe he wasn't as close with his daughter, so he decided to make up for it with Eri. Maybe she got that parental attention that Kai craved from the beginning; the bedtime stories, board games throughout the day, late night ice-cream. So when Pops ordered him to figure out her quirk, he felt like a pawn, a man who worked for Pops, and no longer a son, he felt replaced.

Maybe after Pops' daughter left that's when he found Kai, maybe Pops always claimed Kai was her replacement. That Kai filled a hole in their family and that made him special, that made him needed. So when Eri came along, his place in the family was threatened. He was loved, he was the bosses son, he was the hier, he didn't want to leave another family, he didn't want to be replaced, and in his experience in the yakuza he's seen how easy it is to be replaced. So, Eri had to go.

[manonamora-if]

arent u jelly of other authors doing better than you? like more popular and stuff? dont you resent them when ur better stuff dont get as much attention as their stuff?

TLDR: A bit sometimes, and hell no.

🤔

Well... yeah I sometimes get a bit of a pinch when I see some posts get a bunch of attention minutes after it was made public while my own rarely get that much period, or getting dozens of ratings at release when I might get one or two. Who wouldn't? We all want some amount of spotlight for our hard work, we all want to be praised for our accomplishments, we all want to see people tell us how much they enjoyed our stuff. We want to feel seen... And social media sometimes make it hard not to compare ourselves with others. The obvious numbers say it all plainly. It's right there. Getting away from the numbers or the posts appearing on your feed, every reminder than you're not as much as other people... it stings sometimes. Is that human to feel that way?

Do I wish my games would be shared a bit more or get more traction than they currently do? Sure. Even if my mindset when creating stuff lately has been more about me learning a certain program, or a way to code, or give a bit back, or just wanting to so silly word crimes... I can't deny I selfishly, egotistically, still want to show up on everyone's feed, or be mentioned in conversation, or get showered with high ratings. I'm proud of my stuff, and I want people to see what I see in them. Get that dopamine hit.

I know I've steered away in recent months from the more traditional expectations of this community, doing shorter projects with little to no romance, or in formats that is unusual, or just not work on the project that actually pulls the numbers. So that probably affected things. And I've changed the ways I've interacted with the community at large too. I'm not as present here as I used to. I barely share other contents here than before (it's usually sent to the Interact-if queue, which has more peeps than here), even though I made a big deal about it in the past (something something, I'm a hypocrite). I've kinda moved my focus as a player towards shorter content, and jam/comp entries. Hell, I've been putting more effort in organising jams and reviewing games than working on mines. It's not like I should be shocked...

But resenting other authors because they get more attention than me? Fuck that. They don't pick and choose who follow them, who interact with their content, who actively engage with their projects - no one can control what followers/players do. And I'd be rude not to consider they just put more into their projects than I do, whether it's engaging with their following at large in general, or creating special content or rewards for them, or putting more resources than I do (like artwork commission). Or simply they might just be more talented then I am in the eyes of the audience. Or people just don't care that much about what I do. So why should I put the onus on them? It's not their fault I'm doing less well than they are. Honestly, props to them for doing so well.

Yeah... lots of words to say: duh, who wouldn't be jelly and wtf, why should I

[theunboundwriter]

7 Snippets, 7 People

thank you for the tag @tabswrites !!

Tagging (with no pressure) @stick-a-pencil-in-my-eye , @toribookworm22 , @wild-daffodils , @aether-wasteland-s , @kittensartswriting , @autopsy-im-ill , @gailynovelry

The Sea is in Her Blood Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @fearofahumanplanet @marinesocks @parttimeghost @houndsofcorduff @creatrackers

one:

She hummed, deciding something, and turning away from Jesse. June addressed the rest of his crew, “I’ve decided to show you mercy.” Sheathing her sword, she gestured vaguely with both of her hands, “You are all free to go.”

The rest of her crew followed suit, putting away their various weapons and watching questionably as the men that had boarded their ship pulled themselves to a stand. When Jesse did the same, June was quick to snap her fingers and gain Daring’s attention. “Not him,” she pointed at Jesse, where Daring quickly grabbed hold of both his arms, twisting them uncomfortably. 

“What—?” Jesse began to protest, but June cut him off.

“Throw him in the brig.”

Jesse thrashed wildly in Daring’s hold, but it was not enough for the boy to escape him. “You can’t do this!” Jesse argued. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“You insulted me, Jesse. Be grateful I’m not having you thrown into the sea to join your incompetent captain.”

two:

June gripped the cell bars with an iron-hold. “Give it to me.”

“Nah, not until you let me out of here.”

She squinted her eyes at him, “You realize I can just take it from you, correct?”

Jesse folded the map over itself, folding it and folding it until it was a small fragile square that he could fit between his fingers. He held it up to his lips. “Try it, and I’ll swallow it.”

three:

“How can you say you love me?” June’s eyes snapped back to him. “After everything I’ve done to you?” 

His gaze drifted over to her. Her amber eyes were as bright as the sinking sun outside. “I—” he tried, unable to think of a definite answer. “I can’t explain it. I just do.”

“And that makes you stupid.”

four:

June wanted to scream. She wanted to break through the walls of her cell brick by brick with her bare hands and cry all at the same time. This was for his own good, why couldn’t Red just see that?

“Convincing you to let me stay on the ship, telling you about my past so that you would trust me, trick you into falling in love with me so that I could gain control of your ship and crew, it was all planned. Every single moment we spent together was calculated and plotted and it fulfilled some greater purpose that you wouldn’t understand. So, no, Red. I didn’t love you. I can’t, and I won’t.”

five:

“You thought you could run from me?” He bellowed, laughing at the pitiful form of his former first mate crumpled on the ground. Her amber eyes stared up at him with a seething hatred he had seen before, but this time they were etched with fear and it made his heart dance in his chest. A smile forced its way onto his face. “You’re clever, clever enough to know there’s nothing you can do to disappear somewhere I can’t find you.”

June’s throat was dry. How could this have happened? She thought she had evaded him long enough that she would never see his face again. Yet, here he was, in all his egotistical glory towering over her and casting her in his shadow once again. The town burned around them as they stared at one another, booms and screams echoing in the distance. The smile on his face was enough to make her tremble, but she would not allow him that satisfaction.  

She forced herself to a stand, never taking her eyes off the monster in front of her. June reached down and helped Raleigh to her feet. She would never admit it, but fear throbbed through her veins. 

six:

“I’m sorry,” was the phrase Red finally chose. Two words that made June’s skin crawl. 

“What for?”

She saw the confusion flick across his face, and when he hesitated to answer June said, “You’re not sorry. It’s just something you're expected to say.”

June stood to leave, having come into his quarters to get all of this off her chest and having nothing left to say to him. She began to collect the materials she brought with her, carrying the bandages and cloth in a heap in her arms. As she turned to go, Red grabbed hold of her forearm, and she expectantly waited for him to say what he needed to say to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry,” he told her. “I’m sorry you had to live this life and it made you think you need to put up these walls around you to keep everyone out. I’m sorry for everything that has happened to you—”

“Don’t be,” June interrupted. “There’s nothing you could have done.”

Red’s eyes softened, “And I’m sorry about that too. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you sooner.”

seven:

“You wouldn’t understand!”

Red stared at her, taking in every miniscule detail of her face. The freckles that dotted her nose, the stray hair that cascaded down her face, no matter how many times she tucked it behind her ear it refused to stay. He examined the bruise that colored her left cheek, dancing up to her eye and down to her jawline. The scar: the faintest white line he had ever seen that traveled her forehead and disappeared beneath her brow. His eyes lingered on the bandage on her neck, the red irritated skin that peeked out from the edges. He saw the devastation in her eyes, an emotion he now saw that she had masked with anger. 

“You’re right.” He told her, “I don’t understand. Not yet at least. Will you help me understand?”

June was the first to break eye contact, instead fixating on a mark in the wood. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it.”

A sigh from Red. “I want you to know I want to listen if you need someone to talk to. I won’t force it out of you.”

“Why are you taking care of me? What did I do to deserve your help?”

It was a question Red was not anticipating. His brows furrowed. “It’s incredibly sad that you feel that you have to ask that, you realize?”