#i just want to always be a pleasant interaction to ppl even if i dont rly like them! its about manners and having a pleasant public presence

[j-dlover]

people are really hung up on will being autistic. i saw someone say hes really high in cognitive empathy today...uh what evidence for that? in the show he is baaaaad with people. someone high in cognitive and affective empathy is higher in the 3rd type of empathy. they are good at helping and warm. it makes a balance of feeling and knowing. someone high in affective empathy but low in cognitive feels but doesnt know how to implement that to help. so they are just tortured with feeling bad when others feel bad. i think the confusion with the autism thing may come in because of wills mannerisms etc. everyone has this idea of what an empath looooks like. will doesnt fit this at all. hes standofish, cold, detached, aloof, abrasive, and avoidant. the reality is if you feel others emotions and you cant protect against it, its torture. you may do anything to stay away from them so you arent infected by them. i think they do call affective empathy infectious or something similar, for example. you might avoid eye contact because for one it makes others uncomfortable and two because it limits emotional connection. feeling others emotions all the time can drive you insane. especially in groups. so every interaction can become like a full on assault in some ways. another thing that seems to happen is strangers will force themselves on you etc. on top of that its implied that will has already been used as a bloodhound for psychos. subjecting an empath to horrible feelings and empathizing with serial killers is an atrocious thing to do imo. its so wrong. so hes probably already half crazy from it. plus they used him. its actually disgusting. overall i think will is like this in the series to illustrate what a real empath would look like. they would hide. its a curse. it makes them suffer. why would you subject yourself to people if it causes constant pain? a lot of things look like autism in some respects. that doesnt make them autism. my friend on the spectrum has a crazy crazy amount in common with my mom who has bpd. the difference is the reasons behind these symptoms and experiences. it looks similar on the outside, though. that doesnt make them the same. i know the community wants something to call theirs but there are amazing chars that already are. there arent any other chars that actually represent affective empathy though in this way. it is dramatized, but at least its something. and i mean its actually brought up in the show plus creators say he isnt on the autism spectrum. he can empathize with anyone. thats what it is. im starting to think that people just dont understand how emotional/affective empathy works. its not always pleasant to feel what other people feel. its been overshadowed by these 'types. but when we talk about empathy we are almost always talking about affective empathy. the feeling type. even as far as diagnoses in the dsm for aspd and npd when it says lack of empathy, they are talking about emotional empathy. this whole weird thing where ppl think the meaning has changed or the types of empathy are a new discovery etc is a bit much. its not new. its just a trend in pop psych. i personally think its only because ppl who dont have empathy can now claim they do have empathy and tell others 'seeee. i think thats why it got popular. ohhh id actually say bloom is probably a good example of cognitive empathy in the show. if you put her and will next to each other you can see the contrast. she seems lower than him in affective empathy by a lot. i think its clearly illustrated with his constant taking in strays no matter how much it may inconvenience him and her warning against and criticism of him doing so. heres my weekly thought dump, or rant, if you prefer.

this may be why i dont engage with fandoms. i have dumb ideas no one would like. guess its just my opinion though after all.

[rucow]

do any other venusians have this thing where u only want to be pleasant, only do pleasant things, and never do anything unpleasant ever, especially in public?

for example, swearing or saying any bad words or expressions. ive never sworn irl and im the type of person who gasps and gets shocked when i hear/see ppl swearing, even if it's only through text! it repulses and shocks me so bad, and it's the same with bad manners, like when ppl speak loudly and unpleasantly in public, or do other unmannered things such as not covering ur mouth when u yawn/sneeze/cough or... other unspeakable gestures and actions that i dont want to type out.

as for myself, i have a need to share only good things and have only good thoughts and feelings, it really messes with my emotional balance if my environment isn't harmonious, full of a pleasant aesthetic and atmosphere 🙈 never too loud, never any unattractive noises or gestures, always pretty and always pleasant... i see beauty in everything and it bothers me greatly when others turn a blind eye to it when they could all try a little harder to just. be more pleasant, at least in public 🙈

[cassyapper]

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

[gayregis]

if you've read season of storms is it any good? i read a sample and was kind of bored but i don't want to spend money on it if it's going to be like,,,,,,,,,lady of the lake

reading this i was like “wait lady of the lake was good though,” then i paused to actually think about it as a cohesive narrative for a bit, and went “actually wait never mind :/...” it was good thematically, and there were a lot of great scenes, but like as a whole book... if you could only read that book on its own... it would be very long and confusing. i just think lotl’s good because i do the uncivilized thing of skipping around to the parts i like and then i don’t read the parts i dislike

but luckily i have already ranted about season of storms before, and i’ll post that rant here now. for context, i actually read season of storms from cover to cover... yeah.

overall, it's a disorganized and aimless plot. it's set inbetween tlw and sod, so there's no quest to find ciri, because geralt hasnt met ciri yet, he's still our free bachelor geralt. which means hes still quite directionless and when it comes to his personal life it's mostly preoccupied with romance. but more importantly it means the plot is incredibly aimless and NOT PERSONAL to geralt, like all the stories in TLW and SOD and all the saga books revolve around events and people super meaningful to him. what happens in the plot is a whole JUMBLE of things that feel like sidequests from the witcher games, not a story from the witcher books. nothing really means anything for geralt's character development, and it suffers from being so long because there's like a lot of different settings and characters and everything just seems completely thrown together, mashed up, and not coordinated. 

i will admit that baptism of fire & tower of the swallow followed a style of “random encounters” in which geralt and the company traverse on and just interact with whatever they happen to find, but it felt like they were accruing knowledge (and also. members of the company) as they travelled on. in season of storms, it feels like geralt starts over and the entire book resets itself every time there is a new scene. none of the plotlines fit together, so it is just a super confusing and exhausting reading experience, unlike in bof & tos, where you can follow the action quite easily and it’s very pleasant to read because it’s all one continuous storyline.

in addition, all of these mashed up stories are pointless, because they dont END with the reader learning anything about the universe the characters live in or their relationships with each other. we might learn that sorcerers are power-hungry, but we already knew that. we might learn that people are violent and corrupt, but we already knew that. we might learn that geralt loves yennefer, but we already knew that. in the short stories, you learn so much about the world and geralts relationships (for example: we learn so much about the situations surrounding the elves in edge of the world, so it’s worth reading because otherwise you will not understand anything when the scoia’tael show up in blood of elves and later in the saga). and in the saga, this continues and more worldbuilding/relationship building occurs (geralt and ciri’s relationship grows from a question of price and then becomes crazy right around baptism of fire when they’re super linked by destiny). it really doesnt in season of storms. you don’t learn anything meaningful about the world or the characters like in the other witcher books.

another large flaw is that in the stories and saga, sapkowski was really good at creating likeable, enigmatic characters no matter how few pages he had to create them. they were deep and almost lifelike and also usually told a larger message. the NPCs- sorry, "characters" in season of storms are SUPER flat and uninteresting.

coral is h*rny for geralt and jealous of yennefer, like every sorceress ever to exist, pratt is a dick and corrupt, degerlund is corrupt and evil, mosaik is timid, the werewolf guy is JUST THERE, the auguara isn’t super interesting despite being cool, nimue feels flatter as a character than usual, even dandelion- okay actually jk i liked dandelion he was the sunny part of this book AS ALWAYS ... ofc he felt one-dimensional but he usually does so you know, EVEN GERALT feels a little one-dimensional and not his typical introspective self

one of the worst things sapkowski did was [SPOILERS] make the major villain character of the book gay and feminine... like its mentioned SO many times that "ohhhh this is a man that looks like a woman WOW HOW EVIL!" and he literally does the worst things like rip ppl to shreds and want to kill geralt painfully by torture with syringes, also he uses his sexuality to ?? seduce an older sorcerer to be his favorite so he can keep his job as a sorcerer?? 

and OK vilgefortz and bonhart arent complex villains. but theyre despicable and it feels a little deeper bc vilgefortz has that backstory and hunger for power, and bonhart is just terrifying and the embodiment of wretched evil, this guy from season of storms is just annoying and anime villainy like “OOHOHOH watch how i kill you now >:)” also theres a lot of crass humor like fart jokes and villains that are described as really super ugly like omg wow never saw that one coming!!! it just feels super bland and basic and almost like the antithesis of The Witcher as short stories and a saga, super out of place with the rest of the series. [END SPOILERS]

in my opinion, the BIGGEST FLAW with season of storms is that since the plot is so all over the place, and since the characters are so flimsy, the entire book feels meaningless. it feels like it would appease games or netflix fans who just want to read about geralt going on some crazy adventures, and it does serve that purpose, but it is NOT a “book belonging to the witcher series.” it has no depth where there should be... i do not feel like sapkowski is trying to tell me something as a reader about human nature, or the nature of parent-child relationships, or society, or violence and war... 

it just feels like geralt is doing all of this shit just because sapkowski had some remaining ideas and wanted to get all of them out into the world all in the same book, like sewing a vest out of fabric scraps. it was not refined like the witcher saga, because none of them were really meant to fit together anyways, and because they weren’t meant to fit together, there is a distinct lack of message and substance to it.

TLDR: no cohesive narrative and a confusing plot, no deeper underlying message or arguments about humanity or society or nature being made by the author, cheap new side & background characters, no ciri and no yennefer so geralt is quite directionless and stupid

other remarks that are just my personal preferences and comments:

geralt & dandelion:

geralt mostly works alone in this book... which is... not my favorite. this is why i got bored with tw3 after i read the witcher books, because i can’t stand geralt being alone, the world feels so... lonely! although he meets up with dandelion and has an affair with coral in season of storms, most of the book is him waffling about with side and background characters that i couldn’t care less about because sapkowski put no effort into developing them to be enigmatic or at least lifelike and likable (unlike some really minor characters in the witcher saga that, although they were so minor, were incredibly likable: for example, applegatt and toruviel i quite like). 

of course, i also have a preference for when geralt hangs out with dandelion, because it usually creates more of a lighter tone for the scenes and a more humorous nature overall, plus geralt changes his personality to be not in such a bad mood and we get to see him being kind and friendly. so it annoys me that although dandelion has some scenes with geralt, they never really have deep conversations like they do in a little sacrifice, or witty remarks & banter like in the edge of the world... i feel like dandelion was quite in-character for the whole book, which is good, but also, he’s dandelion so he’s pretty easy to get in character. he’s just easy-going, arrogant, preoccupied with earthly delights, cowardly, and friendly to geralt. but it annoyed me that their scenes together were both not very deep, and that they didn’t get as much interaction as i think they deserved. usually in a witcher book or story in which geralt and dandelion have met, they stay by each other’s side for like, the whole book or story, lmao... 

that being said, they do have some fun moments in this book and dandelion has some funny lines which i quite enjoy. like. they are eating at an inn, and the innkeeper asks them “how are you finding the pork?” and dandelion replies, “we’re finding it among the kasha. from time to time. not as often as we’d like to.” and somehow i just find that line so fucking funny... i think it’s just because it’s really relatable

sorcery:

coral is SOOOOO one-dimensional, she really is just like the same character as fringilla vigo or some other sorceress that’s jealous of yennefer for getting to bang geralt, and this lack of characterization is super transparent. people laugh about how many affairs geralt has had, but they never discuss how all of them have been super uneasy and unfulfilling.

already said that i hate degerlund as a character and all of the sorcerers being morally wack is predictable if you’ve read like, anything from the saga about the sorcerer/esses. also geralt talking with sorcerers is like, interesting if the sorcerer in question is vilgefortz, but everyone else is just super boring

other:

i didn’t really like ferrant de lettenhove until the very end of the book (which i won’t spoil) but because of this end, i wished that he got more backstory/development

NIMUE I LOVE YOU and it was nice that nimue got some more backstory in this.

i do enjoy the end of the book. not to say “my favorite part is when it ended,” but it’s true, because the ending in kerack is interesting and full of drama, the moments in the inn are alright if a little void of substance, the ending with geralt and dandelion on horseback is beautiful, and the epilogue with nimue is wistful and beautiful as well.

sheer pettiness:

oh my GOD why are the CHAPTERS so SHORT? it’s like, 20 chapters plus a bunch of interludes and an epilogue, and the book is only 357 pages long. it feels like as soon as i was getting into a scene, it switched to another chapter. i mean, idk whether i prefer this, or the haphhazard long as fuck chapters from baptism of fire where i’m not quite sure when a chapter begins or ends because i memorized the scenes and not when a chapter occurs. 

i dislike how coral is on the cover of it, even though it’s fitting, because if there was a work about... oh idk... the hansa... then angouleme could have been on the cover... and then i could have had geralt + yennefer + ciri + dandelion + the hansa on the covers... like wow that would be cool...

this book would have functioned much better as a series of short stories... i think sapkowski has talent for the short story medium, but novel-length books are more desirable by publishers, but this is literally just a guess, i don’t have anything to back this up

my recommendation: don’t buy it if you are just looking to read the witcher books as in, get a feel for the book canon world and characters. it’s pretty unnecessary for that. do buy it if you are a completionist like me / the witcher is something you’ve been into for years and you’re about to buy all the books as a set and it would feel weird to not have all eight books on your shelf and it’s only like $5 more to buy the set of 8 as compared to the set of 7. don’t read it and expect perfection, it’s basically like “drabbles” but canon from the author. there are like 2 or 3 nice gerlion moments if you care about that.

[han-seungwoo]

i recently hit my goal of getting 500 followers before x1′s debut and i wanted to make a little post to thank all of my friends and mutuals that i’ve made on here so far!! please excuse the nastie header i am very bad at things that involve fonts but i love u all nd thats what matters!! thank you so much to all of my friends and followers, i’ve received a lot of love since i made this blog and it’s been wonderful!! below the cut are some messages for some of the mutuals i’ve spoken to/hope to speak to soon!!

@umjigyoun sim!!!!! ilusm you’re the cutest nd you’re honestly one of the nicest people i’ve ever met on tumblr, you have such a good and pleasant vibe and i thoroughly appreciate u reassuring me that my endless rambling about seungwoo in the form of long winded and sappy posts is not as annoying as i may think!! good luck with uni this year! i’m cheering u on, and i hope we can talk even more! <3 <3 <3 <3

@leeeunsangs vyvi ma’am i think u were one of the first mutuals i made on this blog nd i don’t regret it at all!! you’re very cute and pleasant nd i’m always happy when we chat, i hope we can do it some more sometime!!

@cho-seungyouns hello we haven’t talked at all but your gifs are gorgeous thank you for all you contribute to the fandom!!!!

@12seungs lana i love u sm !!!! you’re always such a nice and welcome presence in my inbox nd ur so cute!!!! mmmmwah i hope we can become better pals in the future!!

@dearhangyul BETH U LISTEN TO SO MUCH OF MY RAMBLING U ABSOLUTE SAINT ILU!!!! thank u for all the pretty gifs (esp tht seungwoo in boss set...whew......) nd thank u for being my friend!!! ilu!!!!!!

@hangyul-s farah we have never spoken but all of ur gifs r so fucking nice i needed to say that thank u for being a god tier content creater mwah !

@seungyx1n KAJAL UR CONTENT IS SO NICE !!!!!

@kngsminhee ina ilu SO much ik we dont talk too much but i still consider u a pal since the atiny anon project ur just !!! so so so wonderful ilu!!!!

@hyeonqjvn missus justine!!! talking to u is always so fun ur so cute and nice and i always love it when i see you’ve messaged me!! i hope i can help u get into victon so we have even more stuff to talk about!! good luck with uni this year also !!!!!

@x1-s MACY!!!! u are genuinely one of the best ppl on this hellsite all ur gifs nd ur themes r mwah perfect nd ilu the most!!! i hope we can talk more soon!!!

@yohaans haejin u are just WONDERFUL ugh i rlly am just a haejin love bot but anyone who isn’t is wrong tbh (ur yohan set is coming!!!! i promise it is i am just lazy fdkldskjlf)

@seungyound ave !!! ilusm thank u for letting me vent to u abt produce while the show was happening!! all ur gifs are so pretty i hope ur having a good time!!!!

@wooshinism luna ilu!!!! all ur edits r mwah nd ur always so nice nd kind to me whenever we talk!! i hope we can chat more soon!!! ilu!!!!

@x1produce YASMIN U ARE MY PLATONIC SOULMATE THE LEGITIMATE BEST FRIEND I HAVE U ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL AND KIND AND WARMHEARTED PERSON I’VE EVER MET ON HERE!!! ugh i love talking to u sm and sobbing in your twitter dms as we send pics of our boys back and forth and watch our conversation gradually devolve into mindless, senseless nonsense as we sob about a variety of things, organizing the x1 anon project with u was so much fun and i am so fucking hyped to send u shit for ur birthday u are so sweet and good and talented and amazing and so fucking hilarious i absolutely love u!!!! i wouldn’t be as put together as i am without u bc you’ve helped me through so much absolute bullshit, i’m so grateful, i love you!

@hardseungwoo @seungyounurl @dongpyos @jihnyuk @yohau @hseunqwoo we haven’t talked or interacted that much yet but i just wanted to say that i’m super grateful for all the cool stuff you guys contribute to the fandom!!!! idek if we’re mutuals but i just wanted you all to know you’re appreciated!!! mwah!!!!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

there’s ways in which i’ve advanced over time, like how my Self Esteem seems reasonable to me whereas i used to think that the abuse which made me wanna die mustve been brought on by me somehow rather than just like, because it happens. i still wanna die but that in and of itself doesnt really bother me as much as it bothers me that nobody should ever have to be made to feel that way. or like how i’ve always only gotten “meaner,” in a good way, because its that im not gonna pretend i dont have my own feelings or that i think everyone else can treat me however they want or i have to say ok to anything anyone asks. or how if i dont want to interact with someone, especially if its because i dont like them, but also because maybe i dont want to like humor somebody in my vicinity, we’re not gonna be friends. i might be sad i dont and have never had friends but i’m picky about ppl and i’m not abt to hang w ppl i dont wanna be around coz honestly having a crap friend group who dont even act like friends to you is more depressing than being by yourself.

anyways the point is it can be annoying the things that is hard to change. i understand why this is and think its okay that its difficult and progress is slow. because you dont just change only because you Decide To hard enough. and i dont think its “bad” to have problems like anxiety. and there’s some things, which are things that seem weird to people or they dont always Like and that sometimes get me treated badly, that are part of how i am and aren’t all from being abused, though everything is affected in its own way by that factor because it was my whole life up until a couple years ago, and ive still encountered abusive situations since. and these things that are part of who i am might not seem Ideal to other people. or because they might make social situations worse for me, i should have to change them, but i dont really think so. i think more that, other people could learn just little ways to communicate with me that work out better even if they’re not the “standard,” if people were invested enough. and also, back to the ways i am thanks to traits that help you survive ongoing trauma, there’s no “default” me to like, chop off something like “reticence, caginess” and return to my Pure State. its not even like its bad to be quiet. you just try to change in ways you want to for your own sake. its complicated, anyways. obviously.

the point is im not mad at myself for having traits that im annoyed i still have. and the point of saying that is that i’m annoyed when i can’t assert myself ever over things that aren’t even really “assertions,” aka like i have some idea someone’s necessarily going to be against it at all. it’s just part of me biting back things i have to say, and feeling like even saying something like “i want to do x” might be dangerous, or is always an imposition. knowing this difficulty, i’ll sometimes try to plan for hours in advance to casually be like, ok i’ll say this simple sentence if the chance comes up. and then the chance comes up, and i hesitate, and hesitating makes it harder not to continue hesitating, and then anyways it’ll be too late and not a big deal but disappointing. or sometimes its a bigger deal. smh! cant say what i wanna do ever. unless its like hour 36 of not having slept and i get some confidence in the form of not caring. thats all alcohol does for me btw, is make it like im sleep deprived. except really i have to be actually sleep deprived for the moments of not caring as much.

another thing that annoys me a bit is when i reflexively will react to any casual interaction—especially if i’m not comfortable w them and may have to see them repeated, which happens often enough—as something i have to get through w/o causing any friction or drawing attention to myself. its just that even if someone annoys me and i dont wanna talk to them i’ll still try to fake a passable amount of pleasant casualness and just joke around a bit until its over. this isnt really a bad thing, its just unnecessary and tiring, and another way i feel like i cant be myself around other ppl. if i wanna be silent and unsocial, or talk and engage, i should be able to do either.

anyways. its all about Me at least getting to be as me as i can. and not necessarily needing to be by myself to feel like i can be myself. in a lot of ways i try to get around anxieties and things by being a bit defensive and angry, as a bit of a Hack. dont get me started on how anger is a source of power and a gift instead of Always Bad :( because that is a whole other essay. i could sit there and say it in a minute, but writing a lot like this takes a lot of time. i have to decide that a lot of things just aren’t worth it.

[slyshyfoxy]

Hello, 

honestly it has just been a few days that have passed, but my friends group have changed and changes in life is really happening, i think i might be extremely picky on my friends or what so ever and super critical LOL, but i do feel bad but i still feel like i need to continue to put myself first no matter what, and i need to focus on myself and my studies for once, oh today i perm my hair for the first time in my life, well the auntie wasnt that pleasant like she kept talking and i felt like my energy got very drained LOL like superb drained.  But still she managed to perm my hair for $180, and i am superb broke right now, shall not be spending so much money from now, probably a few more dollars to do my nails and to do my nose ring and that’s it.  And maybe after that socializing period, i came to realise like especially like in a person on what i want or who i don’t want to interact, so i went out with shayn today too, like my okc match from a year ago and we started to meet up again. But i felt like she can’t really vibe me with me and i was most of the time engaging the conversation, so i think best is i just put in some minimum effort into it and focus more on myself and less on energy vampies.. and see honestly maybe not being analytical but still i need to chose the right ppl to be with if not my future is doomed.  And stop watching tarot leh even tho is ur normal mechanism but still, u have self-awareness anot. and whatever that happened to cl and u, just slowly put it behind u and just continue to live in the present, it was a shortshort-term romance i guess, oh and like especially making me realise like what type of ppl i want to socialise with and all, like i want balanced friendship and maybe some of the fun ones but i will be just also enjoying the process of making friends and being contented by my own, there is no point of rushing the friendship and relationship anyways.  Honestly, talking to certain people make me also realized like I have also like grew out of it honestly, like i am having a bit of the feeling like I'm outgrew-ing people again, i guess i tend to grow out of people very quickly because i am always consistently focusing on myself. But for now, i want to follow my own flow and follow my own self like i want to study and get a good gpa and maybe spend even more time with myself, honestly, in the love department i am just also curious like who’s gonna turn up in my life so i am gonna stop watching tarot man for real quit ur stupid ass 2 years addiction, it is just temporary gratification and will only make u overthink and waste ur time so don’t think so much pls?!?!?!?.  Just start to think of yourself only and thats all, like dont think of other people so much anymore. THINK and DO things for yourself, dont be so empathetic got it?!?!?!??!!??! 

Start studying for maths and physics tho, like for real those need to start and there is tests on next coming monday and tuesday. <RIPPONERI>

btw i didn’t realise like time alr flew to 19 oct thats like damn quickly i guess when u are superb busy with school and life.

- 19 oct 21

[starco-conut]

Our Thoughts on Season 3

Hey everyone!! as you may have seen...Alan and I have been just a bit let down by some of the stuff going on. Luckily, we’re both huge ass nerds so we wrote it all out in a multi-paragraph post. With visual aids! if you’ve been feeling a little offput by the new episodes but can’t place why, we probably have your reason put into words somewhere in here. 

Reviews, replies, general additions to this post are not only permitted, but strongly encouraged!! :D

bold is nicole. italics is alan

Scent of a hoodie

I mean. one word summary;... Uncomfortable. it was rough to watch my girl obsess like that and honestly??? there was no clear message at the end... with the whole ‘the scent is in ur heart....’ do they mean to imply she’s getting over marco or that he’s always gonna be around in her mind??????????. yeh. not much to say here.

this episode was kind of strange and felt really awkward with star’s obsession with marco but had a sweet ending with star learning that its really unhealthy for her to latch onto marco like this and its time to move on. it felt like one of those iffy episodes throughout most of it but the end was decent enough

Rest in Pudding

Her little monologue to glossaryk was super cute and well done!! that whole bit was just. Good! felt like Old Times! but then there’s

This was... a gag? I dont know. when i saw it first my gut reaction was that they were setting up some angst about how star’s calling people on earth that aren’t her best friend Marco and THAT got me!! i was Ready To Be Hurt by that! but then like...nothing. Unless it comes up in a nearing episode this was just a bad joke. overall episode wasn’t bad at all though!!

i really enjoyed this episode! the pacing, mystery, and comedy all held up to the Star standard and only had a small amount of plot progression which felt appropriate for a halloween episode. my only gripe is that after the whole Battle For Mewni deal, i expected Moon to believe Star a bit more when she says Glossaryck is alive

oh yeah that too for sure

Club Snubbed

pretty much made me want to die and barf simultaneously. when it got to the scene above, where she talked about just needing a friend i thought, hey, thats cool. and accurate. maybe that dance scene clip, since its unfortunately not a flashback, is going to be presented as platonic!

nope. anyone in for a suicide pact?

To be fair, i should elaborate. Tomstar, in theory, is super cool. I definitely vibed with the fire and butterfly magic mix happening, back when I thought it was a flashback. But...Its been, what, 5, maybe 6 episodes since marco left and she’s already just...whoop? who’s marco? haha what? There’s not enough time. 

And from what I can tell, none of their old issues have been addressed. Tom still has anger issues, but because ‘its hard’ and he’s ‘trying’ suddenly star’s all over him? sleazy ppl come to their exes like ‘i’ve changed!!’ for a reason. the ex should actually. want. to see. change. Star seems content to say ‘fuckall, tom’s here, why not’

WHICH..could actually be good? If it’s presented that way? My hope is that she’s latching on to Tom because they have history, and a bond already. Marco’s gone suddenly, she’s urging for somewhere to direct her affection- lord knows the sweet girl has lots to give. and then they’ll part as friends after she realizes whatever they are now is unhealthy and ingenuine romantically. I have no backing for this and honestly it doesn’t look like that’s the way they’re going but... I’m gonna hope.

this episode definitely throws a spin on our view of tom as an “uncaring, lying, manipulative ex boyfriend” and for the first time i felt like i really saw Tom Lucitor, a boy with anger issues and an unfortunate history with his actions. i was really glad to see this character growth for him but i feel like the writers completely skipped over the real impacts that a relationship like tom and star’s had on each other. 

yes!! i didn’t say but, i kinda love tom as an independent character. his anger issues are presented as a part of his personality, he is a guy who has anger issues, not Anger Issues in a physical form. lots of cool depth on that.

realistically, star would not immediately fall back in love with tom because...why would she? we as the viewers know that Tom has changed but to Star? he has a significant history of lying to manipulate her and marco to get closer to them and star doesn’t have a real reason to believe what he’s saying is true and she shouldn’t have 100% faith in him so quickly especially when she had 0 trust in him just a few minutes prior. overall i was impressed with the development for tom but the future implications were disappointing to me

i will be talking more about my issues with Star and her trust issues later.

Stranger Danger

My only issue with this episode is that it doesn't exist outside of its own ten minutes. I literally forgot about it til i looked up an episode list of s3 to write this post. Eclipsa is sitting there, queen of darkness, in the same castle grounds as star, and shes nor the trial is brought up in the subsequent episodes. Alan goes wild on this one so I’ll let him take it away- he’s 100% on point here.

THIS IS A LONG ONE BOYS, STRAP IN,

i agree with nicole here, there is no buildup to the immense revelation that eclipsa is free and roaming the castle gardens. battle for mewni had planted the seed that eclipsa was breaking out but there was no mention of this in any other episode. and then there’s this:

what was this all about?? did no one notice that Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness, one of the most powerful queens and magic users in Mewni’s history, and a wanted criminal, was FREE FROM THE CRYSTAL THEY FROZE HER IN?? And in BFM, Moon even visits Eclipsa’s crystal prison to check if she’s still there but now? she didnt seem worried about it AT ALL. only when Star is peacefully talking to her does Moon and the magic high comission show up because...plot reasons.

aside from that, however, i feel like the pacing in this episode was not planned very well. from the opening scene of Star taking care of Glossaryck for well over 4 minutes, it felt like this was going to be a fun silly episode with general shenanigans (there’s nothing wrong with silly episodes, it just didn’t end up being one). but halfway through the episode, eclipsa shows up and suddenly the plot is moving at a rapid pace. and while this felt like it should have been the climax of the 11-minutes, the climax just continues? there is no falling action in this episode. it continues with star being decontaminated and at one point she is strapped to an examining table and flashes through some disturbing faces

why is she smiling? who drew this? this feels really creepy, like someone is putting their kinks into the show and its really uncomfortable to watch and think about. there is a heart touching moment with Moon and Star talking about their actions and both side have somewhat understandable reasons, though star clearly has the show’s bias so the plot progresses (which is not necessarily a bad thing). afterwards, Star meets Eclipsa in her cell and still, the climax of the episode has not fallen at all with all the arguing. and then finally when star confronts eclipsa in her tower, she says,

“Just because i didn’t want you crystalized again, doesn’t mean i trust you.”

????

She literally has no past with eclipsa other than having a pleasant conversation with her. She knows next to nothing about her actual actions or personality but immediately doesn’t trust her? but in Club Snubbed she immediately trusts tom? the guy who directly had severe negative impacts on her life?? Why?! Why are the writers so inconsistent? nothing makes sense! It’s cheap, forced romance that’s why!

and after this ridiculously long climax the episode just ENDS. there is no resolution, and it doesn’t touch on it again anywhere in the next four episodes. It’s bad show writing.

Demoncism

I picked this screenshot because it was the most disgusting!!! this is just...more of an opinion here but I really like the trope where one is out of their mind, dangerous, causing magic destruction and the other defies the risk and holds them, curing the issue with The Power Of Love. it’s corny but I love it. and yet.

here. they decided to just. chuck it in. I’ve seen shows do this trope Very Very well (oddly, one example i can think of also involves a wild demon kid and a forest in blue fire.....) but to just...throw this in there. with. like 8 seconds of buildup. n-o. no. ESPECIALLY because tom and star, where they are currently in the show, aren’t ready to be romantic, and this trope always has romantic implications.

i got extremely mixed feelings from this episode. on one hand it had a great message that you shouldn’t force change but rather to grow naturally and learn from your mistakes. on the other hand,  a lot of it is still tainted by this cliche, boring, romance. Star immediately barges in and claims that he’s only doing this for her and generally is untrusting of his actions. 

......

are you noticing a common theme here? writers purposefully twisting characters’ interactions for the sole purpose of causing drama? give me one good reason for star’s sense of trust to be flip-flopping like this over and over again. im being serious, if you even read this far, leave a reply and call me out because i CAN NOT THINK OF ONE GOOD REASON.

“Okayy, but no tickling.” Again, more creepy bdsm, moving on.

Then later when hes doing that whole floaty, blue veined, writhing scene i will actually commend the writers for making a very good analogy of how painful and unhealthy this process is for tom to quickly force himself to change. then star comes back and hugs him and says shes here for him which would have actually been a very sweet moment if they had just been friends but of course, they’re not. its just a reminder that “uwu they’re in love now”. and then there’s this:

confirmation that yes, the show is going to do that. rush star and tom’s relationship bc #teendrama. and the worst part of it is: star and tom could actually have been an acceptable, if not role model relationship if it wasn’t written so poorly, which is what the next paragraph or so is dedicated to.

I don’t hate Tom and Star’s relationship. I don’t. i see it as a missed opportunity. Tom and Star were two people who used to be a couple in the past and broke up for reasons unknown. we can speculate that it was because of Tom’s anger issues and problems with lying, and also Star’s inability to deal with complex situations and face her problems. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY COMMON REAL LIFE SITUATION. This was a ripe opportunity to go in-depth with Star and Tom’s issues, not just their own but also the issues between them. and it is wasted. I know that its hard to fit this into one measly episode but there’s a whole half season to develop them at a proper, realistic pace! i wouldn’t care if the entire season is dedicated to Star and Tom working to solve these issues if it meant we had this enormously important topic resolved in a healthy and wholesome manner. 

But the problem is, none of this happens. And it’s not going to. The writers completely skip over all of Tom and Star’s anger towards each other and go straight to “UWU THEYRE IN LOVE NOW”. Star is just rebounding off Marco and onto Tom and there’s going to be more unnecessary drama, and someone’s going to get hurt.

And I am disgusted.

Sophomore Slump

jarco saved this ep ? the only parts of it i could really relax and enjoy was the little jarco montage it was cute. and then. and THEN. the random dumping. I get what the writers were trying to say, y’know? ohohohoh, nudge nudge, we all know who marcos REAL best friend is...hohoho...except. they shouldnt have. said it. at least not via jackie. She was used in this disgustingly common way where she’s just there to deliver a message and help marco realize something. do y’all realize the most drastic adjective i can apply to her realizing she+marco wont work is like....”bummed”. It’s realistic to cry, to be fucking mad, to show...FEELING...i don’t care how cool and chill she is. It’s an absolute travesty to her to not let her be upset about it. 

AND THE CAPE. it was obnoxious, I hated his attitude about it, not because it was annoying but because he expected others to stop ‘acting weird’. I had hope when jackie knocked sense into him but then he...was then REWARDED for his obsession with it? He ended up getting what he wanted, a ticket back to Mewni, by being a stubborn arse about it. no.

god where do i begin. alright.

Marco was so out of character this episode. im not talking like “he isnt the safe kid anymore he takes some uncharacteristic risks”. no. I don’t know who this kid is but it is not Marco Diaz. He’s some plot device created by the writers to create drama. Why is he so obsessed with his cape? Why is he forcing his experience on mewni into every conversation? Why. Is he. The Croissant Girl. The dude spent over sixteen YEARS in other dimensions going on quests of epic scale and comes back home without a single issue readjusting. Not one word. but then he spends one week in the butterfly castle and serves essentially no purpose the entire time other than freeing Star from her chains one time. He was completely and utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of the BFM movie. and then he comes back to earth and feels this great pride as if he was some great part of the event. Why? what does he have to be proud of? there was no mention of this development in any of the earlier episodes. and i havent even mentioned the ridiculous forced breakup yet.

at some point it seems like Jackie’s words really do come through to Marco. He snaps out of his daze and seems to genuinely want to make it up to her. the scene with Marco and Jackie having a fun date at the pier was incredibly sweet and was generally a good experience. We got to see more of Jackie’s fun side that we were desperately searching for in season 1 and the first half of season 2. it was very satisfying to know that jackie was a character everyone would eventually come to love. but then

that. Why? Why has Marco not moved on at all and learned his mistakes? why does he not understand that he’s being destructive. why do the writers like creating unnecessary drama. you know what show had a very similar plot issue and resolved this properly??

That’s right! Everybody’s favorite racist, ableist, offensive, generally unfunny show: The Big Bang Theory. I don’t even remember this dude’s name but when he came back from space and was being annoying, his girlfriend talked to him and he realized that “WOW IM ANNOYING LET ME THINK ABOUT OTHER’S FEELINGS FOR ONCE.”

100%. if they had stopped with the callout via jackie, and he had actually taken off the cape, I would have been fine. lesson learned. but, obviously, they didnt do that.

 If this show (which has an incredible track record for doing crappy show writing) can get it right then why can’t Star vs the Forces of Evil? A show that is usually praised for it’s amazing talent for intelligent, easy to understand, and great moral messaging?

Because of the writers. They don’t want to teach important messages for these kids (the target audience may i remind you) to latch on to and learn from. They want to write their angsty fanfiction and throw it into canon.

Nicole-TL;DR my lasting hope is star’s affections for tom are, and are revealed as such, a way to cope with going cold-turkey on marco and things resolve without a stupid fucking love triangle also jackie and janna start  dating. aaand im just. disappointed with the show rn. something’s different and after shoving this amazing ass show in everyones face for so long just to see it kind of...well, it’s starting to peel. idk why. but im just hoping this is like...banagic incident but...several episodes long.

Alan-TL;DR