#i just want to exisg normally
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#i feel so fucking horribly bad i cant stop crying and this is so fucking stupid im so fucking stupid#all this because i had a more than usual eventful (positively lmao) weekend and im supposed to have another one#but i just really dont want to lmao#i want to stay home i want to have a normal week#as silly and selfish and idiotic it might sound i dont want to go see my friend i dont want to spend ages on the train i dont want to#have fun next weekend#i just want to exisg normally#im such a bad fucking friend and such a fucked up fucking person and i hate myself for it#but i also hate the thought of having to pack on Wednesday and leave home on Thursday and only come back sunday evening and then#just have another week straight away without even a second to breathe?#i got some time to breathe this weekend and im still mentally tired enough to dread next weekend so fucking much#i hate everything about this and the shit that makes me hate it too#i dont fucking know anymore
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