#i got some time to breathe this weekend and im still mentally tired enough to dread next weekend so fucking much

[nickcassldy]

.

[grampas-attic]

what this blog is basically all about ig

I Really have no idea how to start this off so let me paint the picture for you; It 1990-something and smart phones dont exist, you come back from school exhausted, fina-fucking-lly, its the weekend. You throw ur bag down and greet your grandparents, since you stay with them when its school session cuz they live closer to the city, and make your way to the attic. You pop in your 'MTV Unplugged in new york - NIRVANA' cassette tape into your walkman, and chill out next to your stack off books, easel with an unfinished painting you started ages ago but could never bring yourself to finish it, too scared to ruin it, used mugs of hot cocoa and coffee you and your brother forgot to take out, and a pile of empty Arizona Green Tea and redbull. You sit by the inner ledge of the window where theres a pillow supporting your back, looking outside. You see your brother just got back, "what a slow walker man", you laugh to yourself. A few later you hear the door slam open and see eric, your brother, waaayy outta breath. "took you long enough" you say, "ya ya i know i know i was late but i got the blockbuster now so lets just watch it" he says. You shrug, as he wheels in the tv with "Dead Poets Society" already beginning to play. " Ahh shit, its already playing!!" eric said disheveled. "Wheres the hot cocoa? WHERES THE HOT COCOA?!", "HEY HEY ERIC CHILL! - i got it, here take yours", you say as you give him his hot chocolate and quiet down to hear the movie. It was practically tradition now, to watch it every fall together in your guys' "loft" that you fight a lot in, but also have a lot of fun in. Later on, when the movie was over, you practice bass while eric practices his drums. And when the sun finally set around 9, you decide to go on a walk alone and have a smoke while wondering "why is the sunset only beautiful during the weekend?".

I don't know if that brought comfort to really anyone and it was a quick type so excuse any mistakes but damn man theres something so authentic in that that makes life feel real in a way. As Trent from Daria once said "Its the warmth of the vinyl", haha but honestly. I dont know how to explain it but your mind doesnt seem to be on pause and mute the whole time mindlessly scrolling and killing your precious time and supressing your thoughts and emotions- which were all guilt of, and one way argue that what i wrote above is also the same thing, a form of escapism; but in actuality, theres this authenticity and warmth to it i wanna blog about. I wanna blog about my experience getting better at bass, cuz yes i do play ;) but i wanna get better. As well as just blogging some cool things i find. As I kinda already hinted at Dead Poet Society is one of my favorite movies ever, I enjoy sunsets but only when im mentally relived enough to realize wtf is going on around me (i really wanna put a dead emoji here but my emoji page just froze on me idk what happened man), I fucking love nirvana and honestly just music of all kind, but i tend to lean more on anything that came out kinda like maybe 70-90, mostly 90s, cuz if feels real and warm in a way, not mass produced or remakes like most things today. Not saying that they didnt have that problem back then they definitely did, just not so much so that the standard is unoriginality and the same fucking bullshit that you just get sooooo tired from. Not saying i dont like certain things from our gen or that i wish i was born then, NO (imagine a dead emoji), our technological advancements rn are so fucking cool man, but its reached a point of life becoming mundane, depressing, and robotic for most; so I dont really know man, maybe it would be cool to have lived in the past, bu we still have our perks ;)

Loads of my favorite movies are also from the 70-90 period but mostly the late 80- early90ish? u know? Like Gia, running on empty, stand by me, my own private idaho, foxfire, girl interrupted, and ik ive said this so many times but DPS! MAN! DEAD POET SOCIETY!! Its a killer movie. & Ive carried out my love for dc and old scooby doo movies like the witchs ghost and alien invasion and mystery inc too even tho its a series, and you know all things spook in a way, yet comforting and remind me of my childhood, til now even tho that could be seen as childish ig but hey... who cares man :)) (im using keyboard faces cuz my emoji bar is still fucking frozen haha)

Anyways if any of that interests you, or you feel any way like this lets follow each and just share cool movies, bands, song, and shit like that and maybe bring a bit of authenticity back into this world while doing that.

Thanks a lot ur really dope if uve read this far and if ur not into what i said then hey man thats cool you dont have to do any of this just dont be rude to anyone on here

hopefully this can kinda be a comfortable place for cool things to be shared by cool people weither by the comments or where ever!

Thanks a ton for reading this far! And ignore all the run ons, spelling, and grammer mistakes man i really couldnt be bothered haha that makes me sound horrible but nah i hope u get what i mean.

Ur so cool and have killer style if your reading this;) ,

Jamie

[rudystopit]

Daydreamer

[Denki x f!reader]

summary: you've been friends with Denki since your first year at UA. one morning he makes a joke and it haunts your dreams. you slowly develop a crush and the daydreaming begins.

all characters are aged up!!

warnings: nsfw, oral, light quirk play, overstimulation, and praise kink.

wc: 3.2k

You tossed and turned. Blankets thrown on the floor and pillow scattered around your bed. Every time you closed your eyes, that stupid scene played in your head. This morning you were hanging out by the third year bakugou’s desk with kiri and denki.

You joked that Denki couldn’t get any girl. Then the guys made bets. You can tell he was getting pissed. then he turned to you and grabbed your hand. He pulled you close and whispered something along the lines of “if you wanna know how I’m in bed, just come by tonight,” you instantly became flustered and walked away from the boys.

You sat in your seat and tried to think about something other than Denki. You could hear Denki and while Sero asked what he said. Bakugou told them to shut up and leave him alone.

Now its night and you can’t stop thinking about this stupid joke. It was totally a joke… right? You flipped over and faced the wall. You huffed and searched for your phone. 11:09. you scrolled through instagram for a little bit trying to thinking about something else. You saw cute dogs and other little animals. You watched the craft videos. You laughed at some memes and sent a few to your friends. Then you saw a stuffed Pikachu. You groaned and turned off your phone.

“Screw you Kaminari,” you whispered, staring at your ceiling. “I can’t even enjoy mindlessly scrolling through my phone without thinking about your dumb face,” you mumbled.

You stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours before your eyes slowly drifted to sleep.

You felt warm hands travel up your sides. Soft lips pressed even softer kisses into your shoulders. You smile and lean back against the person’s chest. his hands snake up to your stomach and he snuggles his face into your back. Your hands intertwine with his. You feel his head move away from your back. He shifts and plants a kiss on your cheek. His blonde hair tickling you face as he leans down. He whispers into your ear, “I love you,”

You snap up. Face beat red. the sun is rising. There’s no way you just dreamed about Denki. Nope nope nope. It didn’t happen. You swing your body off the bed and headed to go take a shower.

Nothing like a freezing cold shower and barely enough sleep to put you in a good mood. you dry your hair as much as possible with the towel. You flop yourself onto the bed and pick up your phone. Just your friends answering your late night messages and group chats saying good morning.

You open your Spotify and press the 2000s throwbacks. You toss your phone onto the bed as it tries to load the song on UA’s janky wifi. You start getting dressed for the day. Then it plays… Electric Feels by MGMT.

“Oh Fuck No!” You yell, running to your phone to change the song. “Not right now,” you slam your thumb on the screen to the next song. You sigh and go back to getting dressed.

after your very fun morning, you were dreading homeroom. You walk in and instantly head your seat avoiding the boys. You hear them laughing and yelling at each other. Uraka leans over her desk to talk to you.

“Hey y/n are you ok? I saw you weren’t hanging out with Bakugou and the others,” she sweetly asked you.

“I didn’t sleep much and those idiots will give me a headache,” you replied looking to the front of the class. Your eyes skim over the class. Yuga, Mashirao and Mezo were all sitting at their desks while kiri, denki, sero, and mina all crowd around bakugou’s desk who looks irritated.

They’re all laughing and you can’t help but to stare. You smile yourself. Denki looked so adorable laughing. He always had a goofy personality and it was easy to be yourself around him.

You catch yourself staring at him and mentally smacked yourself. “No y/n, he’s annoying and dumb,” you mentally scream at yourself. Then Aizawa walks in.

Class went by incredibly slow and you catch yourself drifting off. One time you zoned completely out… staring at him…

You walk to the lunch room with Mina and Tsuyu. They talked about whatever the hell Aizawa taught and making plans for the weekend.

“Hey, how come you didn’t sit with us this morning?” Mina turned to you snapping you out of the daze you were in. You shrugged and walked to the line. “Well, Denki made this joke I knew you would have loved,” she continued talking. “I wish I remember what it was.”

After getting your food you sat with them. You decided sitting with Mina and the boy so they’d stop asking you what’s wrong. It was getting super irritating. You sat in the middle waiting for the boys to get here. Mina chatting on about this cute outfit she saw last weekend and that you should go back with her to get it.

The boys came in a loud cluster and shoveled into the seats. You got used around a bit and when it settled, you were across from Kiri, who smiled and waved. He was next to Bakugou and on the other side was Sero. That means you stuck between Mina and… Denki…. You quietly ate your food and smiling when you needed too.

Suddenly you felt a hand travel up your leg and rest itself on the middle of your tight. You face goes instantly red and you push it off, only for it to return. You stomp on his foot. He yelps and everyone looks at him.

“Ouch y/n,” he whined, “what is your problem? Are you pissed at me?” He looked like  he was about to cry.

you push away from the table and leave. Not wanting to deal with the shitty mood of no sleep because you are developing a massive crush on a literal idiot.

You keep walking till you’re outside and you sit down. You feel like crying. You see Aizawa walking by. You run up to him and tell him your not feeling well and you’re going back to your dorm.

The walk back was peaceful and quiet. The dorms were silent and calming. Once you made contact with your pillow, you were out.

You feel your face pressed against someones chest. You pull away but two arms keep you close. You feel him kiss the top of your head. Your legs are tangled with his and he whispers how much he loves you. you move your arms to wrap around his neck and lean your head up. You look into his golden eyes. He gives you a goofy smile and kisses you.

You pull him closer and close your eyes. One of his hands slides up your shirt and rubs your lower back. You pull way from the kiss, foreheads pressed together, you whisper, “I love you Denki,” he smiles

A loud slam wakes you up. You see Mina standing there. “Hey are you ok?” She asks pulling her shoes off.

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night and im not in the mood to deal with the boys,” you move your feet so she can sit with you.

“Y/n, are you running a fever?” She asked putting her hand on your forehead. “You’re all red.”

“N-no, I’m fine,” you laugh it off and push her hand away. “I’m sorry about lunch. I hope Denki isn’t mad at me,” you sigh.

“He’s not. He wanted to come with me but I told him that he’d probably make it worse somehow,” she laughed. “Well, I’ll let cha get some more sleep. See ya later, y/n,” she waves and leaves.

You flop back down. you stare back at the ceiling. You pick up your phone and saw there was a few messages from Denki, Mina and Kiri. You tap on Denki’s notifications.

You roll your eyes and toss your phone away. “Complete opposite Denki,” you whispered. you closed your eyes and tried to go back to that dream. You wanted to be with him. You needed his warmth. You needed his dorky smile. You needed him.

You tired to go back to sleep for what felt like hours, till you gave up and picked up your phone. 11:30.

You make your way down to the third floor. You stood outside his door for a few minutes trying to collect your thoughts. You take a deep breath and knock. The door instantly flies open.

“Y/n are you ok?” He starts, “what’s wrong? Did I do something?” His voice is full of worry while you just stare at him. You slowly start walking in while he backs up still asking if you’re ok.

You had enough of the questions and you grabbed the collar of his shirt. He looked shocked. You look into his golden eyes. Suddenly, you body went into autopilot and you smashed your lips into his. he backs away in shock, but you still held onto him. It took him a few seconds to realize what’s happening, but once his thoughts cleared up, he kissed you back.

His hands found their way to your hips as he pulls you closer. Your grip on his shirt loosens and you fingers snake themselves into his blonde hair. His hands slide up your shirt. His cold hands make you hiss into the kiss. He smiles and pulls the shirt over your head. You had those two seconds to breath because after the shirt as off he back on your lips. His tongues grazing over your lips. You smiled but kept your lips closed. He backs you up against the door. He lifts his knee in between your leg. his tight makes contact with your clothed clit and the sensation makes you mewl slightly, which made Denki seize the opportunity and slipped his tongue into your mouth. He wasted no time exploring your mouth and his hands wasted no time exploring your boobs.

one hand slips under your bra. He massages your soft flesh. his index and thumb twist around your nipple and you feel a light zap. your eyes fly open and you pull back. Denki looks back at you with the widest grin. you shake your head. this is the man you fell for.

you placed you hand on his chest and pushed him off of you. he gives you a stunned look then quickly notices your moving to the bed. you flash him a quick smile and turn to his messed up bed.

his large hands grab your hips and he pulls them to him. his breath lingers on the back of your neck. he plants a chaste kiss on the pit of your neck as you pry his hands off your hips. you sit on the end of his bed.

his hand lifts your chin up to look at him. your hands move to the waistband of his shorts. you try to pull them down without breaking eye contact. you sink to the floor with his shorts and are met with a semi hard dick in the face.

you kiss his tip as his fingers lace themselves into your hair. you move to the base of his cock and you lick a long line along the underside of his dick. you hear him suck on his teeth.

“come on, babe,” he whines, tugging your hair slightly. you look up innocently as you bring his tip into your month. by the look Denki’s face was making, you can tell he was ready to bust just by that simple contact.

you swirl your tongue around his swollen tip. you make sure to give it a few little sucks to really get him going. the saltiness of his ore cum and the thought of reality of the situation makes your core tighten. you can feel your already wet.

“y/n, more,” Denki whines, after ‘waiting too long’ for you to add more into your mouth.

you sink your head slowly down his shaft. he takes a sharp deep breath and he grips your hair just a little tighter. you moan at the hair pulling which causes Denki to let out his own moan. sweet jesus it sounded like angels.

you wanted to hear more of his angelic moans so you start to bob your head more while humming. he lets out more moans and his fingers loosen on your hair.

“fuck, that feels good,” he moans, pushing you head back to looking at him. the slight of you on your knees with his dick thrusting in and out of your mouth sends a hue of red to his face. he quickly looks away and let’s you continue.

you knew he was getting close, so position yourself till his dick his hitting the back of your throat. you focus on your breathing throw your nose while he starts taking control. his hand is now on the back of your head. he tilts it up to get a better look at you and so his dick can get further down your throat.

his trusts become more frequent and quicker. his face twists in pleasure as his hot cum goes down your throat. he sloppily thrusts a few more times and pulls out. he grabs your chin. his thumb forces its way in and he opens it.

“good girl,” he says in a low voice. he leans down and kisses your forehead. “now get on the bed. it’s my turn to make you feel good,” with that you get up and sit on the edge of the bed.

he sinks in between your legs. this large hands grip your thighs and slowly moves them apart. he plants soft pecks on your inner thighs as he travels to your dripping heat. his warm breath hit your core and sent shivers down your back. his tongue drags itself through your folds. he gives your clit a few flicks and enjoys the sounds coming from your throat. your hands make they way to his soft hair.

he continues to suck on your clit while one of his hands slide from your thigh. he slips two into his mouth and pulls them out with a pop. then those two fingers into you. you take a sharp breath and your fingers tangle into his blond hair. his fingers thrusted in and out.

“denki~” you moan out. his fingers curl to hit that sweet spot. you arc your back into his fingers. he moves his lips away from your clit and gives your thigh a love bite. you thug his hair. he smiles against your thigh.

his lips moved back to your clit. his tongue swirls around your sensitive nub. he grazes his teeth across your nub. his fingers began quicken pace and soon you felt the knot in your stomach form.

he curled his fingers again, feeling the sponginess of your sweet spot. he rubs his two fingertips against it. his mouth removed itself from your abused clit and positioned itself at your entrance. he continued thrusting until the knot snapped and you arched your back. he removed his fingers and his mouth had taken the place. he lapped up your juices and listened to your sweet moans.

you came down from your high and released denki’s hair. he looked at you and smiled. he stood up and planted a kiss your forehead.

“gimme a sec” and with that he ran to the bathroom. you stayed laying on the bed. you tried to collect your thoughts. you were currently laying on your friend’s bed after he just ate you out. you blush madly and cover your face when denki reappeared into the room.

“what’s wrong y/n?” he rushed over to you. he pulled your faces away from your face. you were widely smiling and your face was as red as a tomato.

“i’m just happy,” you whispered, kissing his cheek.

“ok good,” he gets up and opens a condom. he slips it on and moves in between your legs.

he grabs your legs and moves them to around his hips. he drags his tip across your sensitive pussy. then he positions his tip at your entrance. he looks up to you for an ok.

“denki please i need you,” with that he pushes his way in. you inhaled sharply, surprised at the size. tears pricked your eyes. you knew he was relatively large but it feels different when it’s in you. you let out a moan when he bottoms out.

he leans down and peppers your neck with kisses. he cups your boobs as he waits for you to adjust to his size. after a few seconds of him kisses you, you roll your hips to see if you were ready. he feels you move and groans into your eyes, which makes you bite you lip.

you roll your hips a few more times before denki takes control. he slowly pulls out then slams back in. you scream in pleasure as he ruts back into you. he does this a few more times before falling into a pace. his hands grip your upper thighs as he thrusts in and out. you have your fists gripping on to the pillow as you let out beautiful moans of pleasure.

your moans fuel him to go harder and rougher. soon the room was filled with your moans, skin hitting skin and light pants from denki.

“shit y/n, you feel so good,” he groans pounding a little harder than normal. “you’re so good to me,” he whispers, watching his dick go in and out of you. “i love those little noises you make and those cute faces you make” he smiles looking at your face twisted in pleasure.

you feel his pace quicken and he biting down on his lip. he’s about to cum. one of his hands releases your thigh and moves to you clit. he rubbed at the same pace as his hips. soon the knot in your stomach reappeared.

“cum on his dick for me, y/n,” he moans about to come undone. his words fueled the fire and you felt the knot slowly coming loose. he quickened his pace even more and rutting even harder into you.

the knot comes undone and you moan out his name. he feels you cum and you pussy trying to milk him. he cums with a loud grunt and rides out his and your high.

his trusts slow down and he pulls out. he leans down and kisses you. he pushes a piece of hair behind your ear. “you did so good,” he said and rushed off to the bathroom.

you roll over to find your phone but found denki’s instead. he had three notifications.

you giggle and toss his phone to the side as denki comes back. he lays next to you. you lay your arm and head on his chest while you leg is crossed over his body. he kisses your head.

“i was gonna tell you sooner, but i thought you hated me,” he says.

“i dont,” you answer kissing his chest.

“good,” he smiles.

[scarletwidowaf]

broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through.  And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career.  most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly" 

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying. 

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm. 

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself. 

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.  

 *rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

 "Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said. 

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it."  You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked. 

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus. 

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually" 

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating. 

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage. 

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance. 

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly. 

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard.  luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen. 

 The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them. 

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it. 

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed. 

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could. 

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.  

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him. 

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it. 

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud. 

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding" 

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again. 

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him. 

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left. 

 Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place.  most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not. 

 "You should go back to your table" you said to Florence 

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

 "I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later. 

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass. 

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job" 

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up" 

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said  

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along 

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her 

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed. 

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do" 

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

[drabbles-mc]

Delivery

Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas x F!Reader

Request by Anon: Could you do one where the mayans are in lockdown and you go into labor. I can maybe taza/bishop or letty delivering and baby daddy freaking out and telling the guys not to look. Im not picky about the guy whoever you think fits best.

Warnings: language, mentions of birth and all the stuff that goes along with it I guess? I really didn’t get graphic with it at all, Creeper being a softie

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Full disclaimer I know nothing about giving birth. Everything I know I’ve learned from TV shows. So, if any of this is inaccurate in any way, that’s why lol. Regardless, hope you guys enjoy the fic! Creeper as a dad gives me all the soft feelings. Also sorry for not posting as much this week--saying it’s been a long fuckin’ week would be the understatement of the century so I haven’t really done much writing at all. Hoping to get through some more requests this weekend though! xo

Mayans Taglist: @garbinge @mayans-sauce @thesandbeneathmytoes @paintballkid711 @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @queenbeered @sillygoose6969 @sesamepancakes @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @gemini0410 @multiyfandomgirl40 @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @themoonandthewicked @bucky-iss-bae​ @encounterthepast​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @blessedboo​ @holl2712​ @lakamaa12​ @masterlistforimagines​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @petlaufeyson​ (If you want to be added to my taglist just let me know!)

Going into lockdown at the clubhouse at 39 weeks pregnant hadn’t been on your list of things to do. Truthfully, for the last month or so of your pregnancy you’d stayed away from the clubhouse altogether unless you needed to get something from or for Creeper. He completely supported your decision, too. There was way too much smoke and alcohol and chaos at the clubhouse for you these days. Plus you needed to be somewhere with some kind of air conditioning or you turned into an entirely different person.

To his credit, Creeper did everything he could to keep you comfortable. And the last thing that he wanted to do was tell you that they were going into lockdown. You knew from the second he came home that afternoon that something was off.

“What’s up, baby?” you asked, walking over to him as he stood at the entrance to living room.

He met you halfway, gently caressing your belly before leaning in to kiss you lightly on the lips, “You know I love you, right?”

You leaned back, hands resting on top of your baby-bump, “What’d you do, Neron?”

He held his hands up in surrender, “I didn’t do anything, Mama. I swear.”

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t just tell you that I love you?”

You arched one eyebrow, “Not with that look in your eyes, you can’t.”

He chuckled, loving and hating how well you could read him. He sighed, running his hand back over the smooth skin of his head, “I love you. Promise you’re not gonna be mad at me for what I’m gonna tell you?”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” you crossed your arms, waiting for the hammer to drop.

He didn’t want to meet your eyes as he said it, but somehow he managed to, “I gotta take you to the clubhouse.”

Your eyes narrowed, “Why?”

There was a long stretch of silence, “Lockdown.”

“You’re kidding me. You’re joking, right?”

“I’m not. I’m sorry, baby,” he reached and took your hands in his own, “You know I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I didn’t think you needed to.”

You sighed, watching his hands as he traced his thumb along your knuckles, “Shit’s getting that bad?”

He gave one slow nod, “Just tryin’ to keep everyone safe.”

Pressing your lips together into a thin line, you nodded. You knew that at the end of the day, he had minimal say in decisions like these. And, he was right, he wouldn’t ask this of you if he didn’t think it was necessary. That didn’t make you want to do it, though.

“Alright. Let me pack a bag.”

He shook his head, “I got you, baby. Just get your purse and shit. I got the rest.”

You chuckled, “I can pack my own clothes, Neron. I’m pregnant but I’m still capable.”

He insisted that you let him, trying to make up for the fact that you were in the position of having to leave because of him in the first place. You let him have that, standing back as he collected things to pack for you. You were impressed that he knew all of your favorite pieces of clothing, things that were actually still comfortable for you at this stage in your pregnancy. He didn’t say much as he got everything together for you.

“Grab the hospital bag, too, baby,” you said as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Yea?” his eyes grew wide.

You nodded, “Yea. You know how long we’ll be in lockdown for? ‘Cause this little one is ready to pop,” you gestured to your stomach.

“Shit. You’re right.”

You laughed, “Usually, yea.”

He refused to let you carry any of the bags to the car. You knew that he wouldn’t let you, but you still offered to. He opened the passenger side door and helped you step up into the car. You leaned back in the seat, taking a deep breath as you tried to mentally prepare for what the next few days were going to be like. The guys would do anything for you. That was always the case, but ever since you became pregnant, all of them had been extra attentive when given the opportunity. You often wondered if Creeper had anything to do with it.

When Creeper parked in front of the clubhouse, you saw a lot of familiar faces. You saw the guys, of course, but you also saw everyone’s family members that you didn’t get to see all that often. Most of them kept their families separate from the MC and you couldn’t blame them for it. But during times like this, everyone came together.

Creeper had all the bags slung over his arms and shoulders as he ran to open the car door for you. You chuckled as he held out a hand to help you out. How he managed to not tip himself over was a mystery to you. He directed you over to Bishop before scampering off to get his dorm set up and as comfortable as it would get for you.

You looked at Bishop, both of you had tired smiles on your faces. You were each exhausted for very different reasons, but there was still that level of sympathy there. He leaned in and kissed you on the cheek and you did your best to give him a hug.

“So, Neron tells me that you’re the one I’m supposed to be mad at about this?” you laughed as you gestured to the clubhouse.

Bishop laughed, nodding, “Afraid so. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know this isn’t where you wanna be right now.”

“No, it’s not,” you chuckled, gently rubbing your hands on your stomach, “But it’ll be alright.”

“Anything you need, you let us know.”

You nodded, “I will. Thank you, Bishop.”

He shook his head, “Thank you. I can’t imagine how tough this is.”

“We’re tough,” you gently patted your stomach.

He smiled, “You guys ever find out what you’re having?”

You shook your head, “Nope. Keeping it a surprise.”

He took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, “You’re truly amazing.”

Bishop offered to walk with you back to the dorms and you let him, hoping that you would get a few crumbs of information about what was going on. Creeper didn’t tell you too much these days for fear of stressing you out and negatively affecting the baby. You appreciated his concern but not knowing occasionally drove you nuts. But Bishop was keeping a tight lip as well. You asked a couple questions and he skillfully dodged them. That was when you knew for a fact that Creeper had said something to the guys. The man really did try to think of everything.

Just as you were about to walk up to the door, someone cleared their throat behind you, “Excuse me.”

You and Bishop both turned, your eyes growing wider when you saw Chucky walking by, air conditioning unit wrapped up in his arms.

“My apologies, Y/N,” he said as he brushed past you as carefully as possible, “but this is for you so I hope you’ll forgive me barging through.”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “You’re fine, Chucky. No need to apologize,” you paused as you followed him back into the room, “Where…where did the AC unit come from?”

“The office,” he replied as he and Creeper started getting it set up in the window.

“Chucky,” you shook your head, “I can’t take that from you. You’ll melt out there without having it all day.”

He and Creeper both turned around and simultaneously shook their heads. Chucky spoke up, his tone genuine as ever, “The two of you need it much more than I do.”

You smiled, resting your hand on your stomach, “Thank you. I…I really appreciate it.”

Once the air conditioner was all set up, Bishop and Chucky disappeared out of the room and left you and Creeper by yourselves. You sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, glad to be back off of your feet for a little bit. Creeper came and sat down next to you, gently rubbing your back. He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head as you leaned against him. It was hot, and you were uncomfortable, and truthfully the clubhouse was the last place you wanted to be. But he was trying so hard to make it as nice for you as he possibly could, and you couldn’t fault him for that.

“Thank you, baby,” you reached and rested your hand on his knee, “for doing all of this.”

“Anything else you need?”

You shook your head, “Just for you guys to get your business sorted,” you laughed, “But really, Neron, I’m fine. Thank you.”

He stayed with you for a little while, helping you finish unpacking everything. Despite the chaos, you always felt safe with him. Even when things were falling apart, he always made you feel like he had it all together, and that was the kind of stability that you needed. He’d been your rock throughout your whole relationship, but even more so since you became pregnant. He stepped up to the plate in ways that you wouldn’t have ever even imagined. You hadn’t really known what to expect because of his involvement with the club, but he reprioritized immediately. And no one in the club was brave enough to try and stand in his way about it.

A couple days went by and you were much more comfortable than you thought you were going to be. It wasn’t quite like being at home, but you could only expect so much. All things being considered, things were going smoothly. Letty was by your side almost constantly and you had to admit that it was nice to have another woman around in the midst of so much testosterone.

You were trying to find a comfortable position to sit in on the couch in the clubhouse. Nothing really felt comfortable at this point but you still tried. You were ready for lockdown, and your pregnancy, to be finished. You just wanted to be able to hold your baby in the comfort of your own home.

Letty saw you struggling and brought you a glass of ice water, knowing there wasn’t a whole lot else that she could really do for you. You appreciated the gesture, though, and it did help a little just to hold the cold glass in your hands. You were about to thank her when a sharp pain shot through you, catching you off-guard and causing you to drop the glass. It shattered on the ground as you groaned in pain, pressing your hand to your side.

“Fuck,” you tried to take a deep breath but it was hard to breathe through the sudden surge of pain.

“Shit, you okay?” Letty was crouched down by your side in an instant, trying not to step on the broken glass that littered the floor.

“Um, yea. I’m…I’m alright,” you took a steady breath.

“Uh…Y/N?” her eyes grew wide, “Do you…do you want me to call Creep?”

The shooting pain that went through you had temporarily distracted you from the fact that your water broke. You saw the look on Letty’s face, though, and it brought you back to reality. That’s when the anxiety really started to rush through you.

“Are they even here?” you hadn’t seen any of the men in a couple hours, and you had no idea where they had gone off to.

“I’ll go get Chucky and ask,” she stood up.

You grabbed her hand before she could leave, “No! Fuck, sorry just…send someone else. I can’t be here alone.”

“Shit, shit,” she looked around and spotted the newest prospect, “Steve! Go find Chucky or one of the guys. Get them in here now.”

With a nod he took off on his mission, barreling through the front door. Letty crouched back down next to you, trying to find the right things to say to help keep you as calm as possible. You appreciated her efforts but all you could think about was the fact that you might be delivering this baby essentially alone if none of the guys were around or close to being back. Another shot of pain went through you and you cursed, squeezing hard onto Letty’s hand. She cringed but didn’t say anything, trying to be whatever it was that you needed.

Hardly a minute later, the door to the clubhouse swung open and an entire entourage came charging in. Creeper led the pack, practically sprinting over to you. The fact that most of the guys still had on their sunglasses and had helmets dangling from their hands clued you into the fact that they must’ve just gotten back from wherever they had been.

“Are you okay?” he tried to nicely but quickly take Letty’s space by your side, “What do you need? What can I do?”

“I need a fucking hospital,” you grit your teeth through the pain of your next contraction.

“I think it might be too late for that, Y/N,” Bishop said with a slight shake of his head, clearly not thrilled about having to give you that piece of news.

“What?” you and Creeper responded in unison.

“I think you can either give birth here, or in the car on the way to the hospital,” he sounded calm but his brain was racing at a mile a minute, “But I don’t think that baby is gonna wait for the whole commute. The hospital isn’t exactly close.”

“Fuck,” you leaned your head back, nails digging into Creeper’s arm for a moment as you tried to breathe your way through another contraction. You looked over at Bishop, “You sound like you know what you’re talking about, Bishop.”

“I mean, I’ve always had the easy part of things. I just had to stand there and be encouraging.”

“Well,” you waited for his eyes to meet yours, “congrats. You’ve been promoted from presidente to doctor.”

His heart dropped into his stomach and he immediately shook his head, “Y/N, I don’t think—”

“Bishop. It wasn’t a suggestion. You’re the only one who has been through this in present company. Time to step the fuck up,” you impressed yourself with how confident you sounded, because on the inside you felt like you were falling apart, “Plus,” you managed what you could of a laugh, “It’s your clubhouse.”

He was nodding but you could see it in his eyes that he was trying to get a million different thoughts in order. He looked around, trying to figure out what he needed and what had to be moved around and changed in order to get this done. People used to do this with nothing, surely they could all figure it out.

At some point the switch in his brain flipped and he started directing people, the authority shining through in his voice as he sent people off on their miniature missions. He helped you move to the other sofa, leaving the shattered glass behind. There were a million different feelings coursing through you as you watched the clubhouse get turned into a makeshift delivery room. Creeper didn’t leave your side, letting you come close to breaking his hand each time another contraction hit. Through every one he kept his voice calm and level, and if you hadn’t been so overwhelmed you would’ve made a point to thank him. That was the farthest thing from your mind, though.

Neither of you explicitly said anything, but at one point you and Bishop looked at each other and simultaneously recognized that the two of you were going to be a whole different kind of close once this was all over with. You trusted Bishop with your life, like you did with everyone in the MC, but this was going to be a whole new level.

“Hey!” Creeper shouted over the hustle and bustle of the clubhouse, “If you’re not Bishop, or Y/N, get the fuck out.”

You choked out a laugh at the bluntness of his statement. You couldn’t pretend that you weren’t relieved by it though—the last thing you wanted was an audience for this. Once everyone began filing out, he returned his attention to you, gently wiping the sweat off of your forehead.

“You’re doing great, baby,” he nodded encouragingly, “I love you.”

Everything fell away into an extremely painful and exhausting blur. Time meant nothing to you as the three of you got through the whole ordeal together. Each of you was in uncharted territory.  The two of them hid their nerves and uncertainty well, knowing that you had enough to worry about without them adding to the stress.

Bishop took a deep breath as he looked at you. He tried desperately to remember what it was like to be in the delivery room all those years ago, trying to channel the reassurance that the doctors emitted despite the fact that he was wildly unqualified, “Y/N, it’s time to push.”

You were already exhausted, sweating and crying and in pain. The thought of getting through this last stretch almost felt like too much. But when you felt Creeper bracing his hand against your back, his other hand gripping yours tight, you got the slightest bit of a second wind.

Truthfully, you almost blacked out from the pain. At one point you were certain that you broke Creeper’s entire hand and that he wouldn’t be able to ride again from the damage done. Somehow, miraculously, Bishop managed to keep his composure throughout the entire thing. Going through this with you felt like it was much higher stakes than anything he had ever done with the MC. The amount of adrenaline in his system was unreal and he had no idea how he was able to keep his hands steady. Both his and Creeper’s voices sounded extra soothing and reassuring. Focusing on that and your breathing were the only things keeping you tethered to reality as your body became overwhelmed with everything that was happening to it.

You groaned in pain, tears streaming down your face as you locked your fingers around Creeper’s hand, giving one last push. You collapsed backwards, unable to stop your crying as you tried and failed to catch your breath. There wasn’t a single coherent thought in your head as your mind and body tried to sort out everything that it was going through.

Everything else immediately faded away when you heard the sound of your baby crying for the first time. You sat upright, fresh tears in your eyes as you looked at Bishop and the baby. This time, Creeper was the one giving your hand a squeeze.

Bishop carefully wrapped the baby in a blanket and walked towards you, there was a smile on his face, “She’s beautiful.”

A sob slipped past your lips as you held out your arms to take her, a smile taking over your entire face as Bishop gently handed her over to you. You looked at her, unable to believe that you really did it. Glancing over at Creeper, you saw the tears in his eyes as well. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, reaching out to gently rest her tiny little hand on top of his.

“I’ll give you guys a minute,” he gave Creeper’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he walked to leave the clubhouse.

It was just the three of you in the silence of the empty clubhouse. You sniffled, tears still staining your face as you smiled down at your baby. You looked over at your husband, “You wanna hold her?”

It was the first time that he looked up at you, the first time he was able to pry his eyes off of his daughter, “Yea, yea,” his voice was soft and you could tell that he was trying to keep his emotions in check.

You carefully handed her over to him and you could see his entire demeanor shift as he held her. From the second he cradled her in his arms he was an entirely different man. He was whispering things to her that not even you could hear. You rested one hand on his shoulder, shifting your gaze back and forth between him and your daughter.

“We did it, Neron,” your voice was quiet, a little hoarse, “We did it.”

He looked up at you, a smile on his face, “You did it, Mama,” he leaned over and gave you a quick, light kiss on the lips, “You did so good.”

“How’s your hand?” you smiled.

He chuckled, returning his gaze to the baby, “I’ll live,” he glanced up at you, “Not bad for a lockdown delivery, huh?”

You shook your head, “Not bad. Might have to keep Bish on the hook for the next one.”

His eyes lit up, “Next one?”

You leaned against him, “Yea,” you gazed at your daughter, reaching over to trace your thumb lightly along her cheek, “Think your hand can survive another delivery?”

“Anything for you,” he turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “I love you.”

You smiled, unable to take your eyes off of the baby, “I love you too.”

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ? 

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol 

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show. 

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think. 

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it. 

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either.  Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple  sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.” 

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

[keilemlucent]

steaming

(r18+)

pro hero! todoroki shouto / reader

ao3

word count: ~3.8k

You and Shouto have been busy as hell and haven't seen each other much, but a 'relaxing' (read: horny) trip to an onsen is sure to remedy any and all lost time

warnings: pro hero shouto, onsen sex (please do not fuck in onsens im begging u please learn etiquette for onsens too), temperature play, a little bit of insecure reader well

this is a piece for the fanfic event yagami yato server i’m apart of! the theme for this month was an onsen getaway so here u go! hope y’all enjoy ;^)

The onsen trip was one that Shouto had been particularly excited about. It was a small place in Akita, far away from the drone of the city that the two of you were both accustomed to. 

Both you and Shouto had been working ridiculously hard the past several months, stretching to your physical and mental limits. It had taken a toll in many areas of your shared lives, but a lot of it was on that quality time the two of you were able to spend together. 

Shouto wasn’t particularly clingy, but he was definitely starting ache for you. It had been far too long since you’d been able to relax as a couple. A weekend onsen getaway seemed like the perfect opportunity for both of you to unwind and spend some quality time together. 

Shouto tended to go... overboard. Mostly due to the fact that though he was perceptive, he was also somewhat dense. You’d gotten fairly flustered when Shouto dropped that he reserved the entire resort for the two of you. It was small and family-run to begin with, but still. It felt a little excessive, but part of you was relieved that no public, prying eyes would disturb the two of you.

When the two of you arrived, the resort was surrounded by pretty autumn leaves, all orange and yellow hues that stretched through the rolling hills. 

It was overly relaxing, almost. 

By the time the two of you were able to check-in and settle down, the sun had already begun to set low in the sky. 

You dropped down on the futon in your somewhat small room. The day of traveling had worn you down, leaving a bit of sleepy haze clouding your mind.

“Baby?” Shouto flopped down beside you, pulling you close and burying his nose in your hair. “Are you feeling alright?”

You hummed, nodding, “Yeah, just a bit tired. Do you want to try out the hot springs tonight or wait until tomorrow and get some rest now?”

Based on the way Shouto let out a rolling, deep chuckle, getting ‘rest’ was unlikely, “Let’s try them tonight, hm? Get some of that stress out of your shoulders.”

As if to emphasize the point, Shouto’s lithe hands went to rub at the stiff muscles. You could only press into his touch, practically purring.

One of the cheekier parts of this trip was that the onsen Shouto specifically rented allowed didn’t have any separation of sex. It was more than acceptable for you and Shouto to share the same pool at the same time. Most of the other exceptions that you and Shouto were sure to need had been... ‘ prepaid for’ (read: Shouto bribed the very nice owners who were sure to be kept up long into the night for several days in a row).

Shouto and you did have to separate for the different lockers room to rinse, but that was hardly an issue. If anything, it was incredibly therapeutic to have a few minutes to yourself before the so-called ‘main event’ of the (long) evening.

Shouto had been remarkably busy with hero work. Being one of the top heroes in Japan had been taking a deep toll on him, even if he was amazing at hiding it. You had been busy as well, far busier than usual. Part of you, a larger part than you wanted to admit, was terrified that you and Shouto’s relationship would fall apart due to sheer lack of contact.

The fact that Shouto had somehow arranged an entire vacation behind your back mostly smoothed that fear over, but one still wondered and worried.

As you rinsed yourself down in the locker room spray, scrubbing your body of any bit of scum and dirt that you could. Perhaps you were taking too long— perhaps it was purposeful.

Because you and Shouto had not done anything sexual in what was, in your book, a considerable length of time. 

It wasn’t intentional, the two of you had clarified before leaving, but it still was the cause of a somewhat unbridled wave of anxiety that you couldn’t escape. 

Old insecurities gnawed at you, fear, its swirling relative. 

This was all magnified by the fact that you’d be very naked with your very attractive partner for the first time in a while.

You gulped, shutting off the spigot and toweling off somewhat. With unsteady legs and a half-covered body, you made your way out to the onsen itself.

As you pulled open the door to the outdoor area, you felt the bite of the wind chill the water droplets still clinging to you.

The unpleasant feeling was washed away rather quickly as you took in the scenery. The area was rocky and mossy, leading to a smaller hot spring, bubbling away with steam rising lazily from its depths. Trees ringed the onsen’s outcrop, obscuring any potential wandering glances. It was all lit by soft, warm, modern-looking stringed-bulbs, wound high above.

The best part, of course, was Shouto looking very smitten with you, as he was already submerged.

“I was wondering where you were,” He laughed so easily, beckoning you by tapping the water. 

You could only muster up a half-assed smile, “Would you believe me if I told you I got cold feet?”

You didn’t see his expression as you turned around to walk into the hot spring, incredibly quickly, after removing your towel. 

(If you had been looking, you would’ve seen Shouto’s eyes widen with your words, water losing steam as his ice side fired subconsciously.)

  Admittedly, the water did feel amazing against your skin. The heat of it curled around your body, seeping in your wound up muscles. You audibly moaned as you fell next to Shouto in the water, leaning your head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around your waist, squeezing under the rolling water. 

A moment of calmness passed, the sounds of flora and fauna echoing off the natural stones and tall trees. 

“What do you mean by cold feet?” Shouto asked, eyes flickering down to meet your own. “

“Nothing bad, dear. It’s just...” Your voice trailed off with the anxiety in your chest spinning. You buried your nose in the muscle of his shoulder, a bit embarrassed. “It’s just been a minute, you know?”

Shouto raised an eyebrow, turning to move directly regard you, “I’m not sure I do.”

“Uh,” You stumbled, giving him a wobbly smile. “It’s just been a minute since we’ve, you know—”

“Had sex?” Shouto finished your sentence with his own teasing smile. 

Your face erupted in red, very obviously not from the hot water you both were submerged in. 

You physically lowered in the water, up to your shoulders, “Yes, had sex, Shouto.”

“Why would that make you anxious?” Shouto asked, mirroring your motion, not to give you guff, but rather comfort. 

“You know—” You paused before answering, eyes watching the light churn of the water as opposed to the Shouto’s incredibly focused gaze, “Just like, dumb insecurity stuff. You don’t need to worry about it, I’m just happy to be here with you.”

That made Shouto frown, rough hands grabbing your hips under the water, “I’m glad you’re here with, very glad, but I’d like to help if I can.”

You bit your lip, focusing on the way Shouto’s thumbs pressed and rubbed idle circles on the meat of your hips, “It’s just been a while, and I get scared that you... you know, will feel differently about me than before. In a bad way.”

Shouto was silent, unspeaking, and thumbs stilled on your skin. You knew him well enough to understand that he wasn’t upset, but rather in thought.

Suddenly, you were being dragged through the water onto Shouto’s lap. You yelped, grabbing his shoulders for stability as you ass settled on his strong thighs. With this arrangement, it was difficult to turn away from him as you had been. It was made even more difficult when Shouto gently grabbed your jaw, holding your face level with his own.

You gulped.

“Though I understand your anxiety,” His free hand massaged the bulk of your thigh. “I can thoroughly tell you its unfounded.”

The next moment, his lips pressed into yours. They were petal-soft, but there was force behind it as he moved against you. You couldn’t moaning against his mouth, hands falling against his chest as you moved ever closer.

Shouto seemed to have similar needs in terms of proximity, hand going to palm you ass beneath the water and pull you nearly chest to chest with him.

You broke away with a sharp breath, wetting your lip. Your eyes darted up to meet Shouto’s own, all blown wide in adoration and lust. He chuckled at you sheepishness, pressing kiss after kiss to your face. He dropped them onto the sweat-slicked skin of your cheeks, nose, chin, forehead, and eventually trailed them to your jaw and neck.

“(Y/N), you’ve given me quite the job to do,” Shouto murmured against the soft skin under your ear. 

You sucked in a harsh breath, nails digging into his shoulders, “Yeah? And what job is that?”

He hummed, suddenly licking a quick strip from your throat to the shell of your ear, leaving you with a sharp bite as he whispered, “I guess I just have to show you how I feel about you, with our time apart.”

The hand that had been cupping your ass moving slowly towards your sex, teasingly. Your hips shifted and the prospect, your need already dialed up with lost time. 

“I do feel differently about you, but it’s only positive, I promise,” Shouto assured you, going back to kissing your neck, going to bite and suck at your collar bones. “I just want you more than before.”

It had been so long since he’d been able to mark you up in the way both of you so enjoyed. One of your hands twisted in his two-toned tresses, crying out as he left a particularly dark mark.

“I missed you so much,” Shouto kissed the words into you, using both hands to half-lift and half-force you higher above the water, still straddling him but lifted up on your knees. Your chest was out of the water, nipples hardening in the autumns chill.

“S-Shouto!” You bit out as he palmed at one of your breasts. “Someone could see us!”

All he did was raise a sly eyebrow at you, blowing frosty breath onto one of your nipples, hardening it, and the droplets of water that clung to your chest. You hissed but quickly were soothed as it melted with the steam of the water below, leaving a tingly numbness dabbled across your chest.

You shuddered as Shouto took in his discovery. 

Temperature play was one of your mutual old favorites.

“I’m not too worried about that,” Shouto peppered your chest with kisses as he spoke, leaving a few dark marks on your breasts. They were sure to ache later, and the thought made you wet.

(Could you be wet? You were underwater—)

Any controversial thoughts you had were quickly seized as Shouto’s hand began to massage the inside of your thigh. You keened in the back of your throat, shuddering as his hand was so fucking cold, despite being surrounded by steaming water.

“Do you like it when I touch you like this, baby?” Shouto kissed the words into your chest. He hummed with what could only be satisfied as you trembled in his lap, nodding. 

“I do,” You sank lower in the water, recovering your chest in the process. It was an easy sacrifice as you could now, far easier, reach between your two bodies and gently grab Shouto’s cock. You rubbed your thumb of its head, loving the way Shouto’s stunning eyes closed in what was near rapture. 

You grinned to yourself, giving your own smattering of kisses to Shouto. Lovebites trailed down his neck, sparing not one of his more sensitive spots. Shaking exhaled breaths and soft grunts fell from his lips so beautifully as his hands trailed up and down your back, fisting in your hair when you found a particularly tender spot.

All the while, you pumped his cock at a somewhat tortuous pace. If he was going to get make you twitch for him every few seconds with his frigid hand, you were only going to give him a bit of satisfaction.

Though, that plan quickly went down the drain when his hand drifted closer to your sex, teasing at the apex of your thighs.

You fizzled out a whine, pressing your slick forehead to Shouto’s, watching the way his eyes opened, dilated pupils regarding you in the same way a man starved would.

“Some options,” Shouto breathed again your lips, dulling the numbing use of his quirk, much to your chagrin. “I can fuck your pretty cunt in this hot spring, or I could fuck you over the side, or I could lay you out on that moss—”

You cut him off with a kiss, loving the small noise that came when his words stuck in his mouth. You drew away with the sweetest smile on your face, “Can I ride you like this?”

Shouto’s matched your grin with his own, kissing the side of your mouth sweetly, “Of course. Once I feel you’re properly prepared. It’s been acknowledged that it has been a while, and I’d hate to hurt you at all.”

“Well, at least on night one,” You smirked, reminding him that you still had several more days to go at one and other. 

Shouto rolled his eyes, all affection, before rolling his thumb over your swollen clit. You gasped out a clipped breath as he repeated the motion. You couldn’t help the way your hips rolled in his hands and the way your own tangled in his hair.

The lapse in your sex life truly hadn’t taken away Shouto’s ability to read your physicality. He knew just the right rhythm and speed to take things, having long since committed every inch of your body to his memory.

Like any length of time apart from intimacy would take that away from him. He coveted his knowledge of your body like a god cherishes its domain. 

Truly, he worshiped you in all aways and it was a crime that it had been so long that he had been able to show in. 

Shouto sank two elegant, long fingers into you, a pretty cry falling from lips. You pressed yourself into his neck, already starting to move your hips against his fingers.

“Eager, are we, baby?” Shouto teased, cursing as your hand was once again around his cock, giving it a rough pump or two.

You snickered against his neck between moans, dropping a few kisses on his pulse point, “Like you aren’t.”

His fingers curled just right, alternating between rubbing against the spongy spot in your cunt and stretching his fingers to ease you to open for him. 

You were all lovely, breathy moans for him, idly stroking his cock and dabbling him with slick kisses. You couldn’t do much else, truthfully. The feeling of Shouto’s fingers buried in your heat while being surrounded by heat was something heaven-sent, you were sure of it. It felt especially true as Shouto’s thumb moved back to circle your clit while his other fingers kept at work.

You could feel a rising heat in your gut and all you wanted was more of it. 

But not yet.

“S-Shouto, wait,” You cupped his face, eyes pleading. “I want to come with you, while you’re fucking me, please.”

Oh, what an easy request to oblige. 

Ravenously, he kissed, drinking you down like you were divine ambrosia. All you could do was fall against him, writhing as he gripped his cock on the surface, lining himself up.

Your nails bit into his shoulder as you bore down on the head of his cock, a little whimper sounding from the back of your throat.

It had been awhile. 

Shouto quickly hushed you, thumb going back to your clit as you sank down. 

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Shouto breathed, resting his head against your shoulder as he bottomed out.

You could only imagine how it felt for him, cock filling you up so well. For you, it felt like your brain was short-circuiting, the way his cock pressing up against your insides was turning you to mush. It had been far too long for both you, your breath matching in the way it shook.

“Fuck,” You managed to curse, readjusting your knees for more leverage. You truly did want to ride Shouto’s cock with every inch of your life, but based on the bruising grip he had on your hips, he wouldn’t stand for you doing much of the work. 

Slowly, you slide up Shouto’s cock, relishing the way how his normally controlled speech devolved into strings of muttered curses. The hand on his ice side kept firing cold on your hip, the odd but pleasant sensation making it all the more difficult to keep your thighs from trembling.

You nearly pulled off him, watching the way Shouto wetted his lips with blown pupils and half-lidded eyes. 

You let the tension of your legs go, slamming back down on his cock. Shouto cried out, hands tensing on your hips and you harshly bottomed out. 

You raised yourself up again, repeating the motion as sounds left your lips, unrestrained. A smug smirk came to your face as you watched Shouto’s blushing face come undone so beautifully.

You sank down on his cock a few more times, grinding whenever he was fully sheathed inside you. The way how his cock head bruised your cervix with each thrust made your insides feel gooey and warm. 

Shouto’s self-control was unmatched, fucking or otherwise. But, you could feel his hands start to twitch around your hips. 

“Baby?” He gritted out as you slide down on his cock once more. 

Your thighs shook from exertion as you wiped your damp hair from your face, “Yes, dear?”

“May I please fuck you proper? As much as I love watching you fuck yourself on my cock, I’m getting a bit—” He ground up into your cunt, angling his hips just right to hit your g-spot. “Impatient.”

You cried out, letting your forehead fall against him, still holding onto a bit of yourself, “So polite, Shouto.”

He thrust up into you again, drawing another sharp moan from you as your thighs shook around his own, “That’s not an answer, baby.”

“Please,” Your words came out half-broken as Shouto damn near smashed his lips into yours.

Without missing a moment, Shouto’s hands fire both heat and nearly unbearable cold. You jolt, hardly able to move due to the nature and strength of the grip he has on your hips. He fucks up into your cunt, adjusting your hips perfectly to smash in your most sensitive parts with familiar accuracy.

Your cunt clenched down around him, the heat of Shouto’s body combined with the hot spring making your head spin. All you could do was press yourself into Shouto’s neck, muffling your sounds and sucking at his salt-slick skin.

“I missed this,” Shouto groaned, bringing your hips down to grind deep on his cock. You pressed your face into his neck, not used to Shouto speaking so much during sex. “I missed your pussy so much, baby. Can you tell?”

When you didn’t immediately respond, mind approaching a fucked out stupor, Shouto took it out himself to pull out, rapidly repositioning the two of you.

You yelped as Shouto put you on your knees where he had just been sitting in the onsen, guiding your arms to rest out of the pool against the rocks and moss. He pressed down on the small of your back, forcing you into a deep arch. Shouto stood behind you, mostly out of the water, panting. 

He pushed into a moment later, hissing the new tightness of your cunt, somehow managing to speak, “Can you tell?”

“Yes!”  You sobbed out, voice shattering as Shouto slammed into you. 

Shouto (somewhat gently) tangled a hand in your hair, the other stabilizing your hips before fucking you with what could only be called reckless fucking abandon. If your sex hadn’t been submerged, the lewd, wet noises would’ve surely echoed over the nearby trees and rocks. 

Not that was really on your mind, nothing really could be except for the overwhelming sensation of Shouto fucking you with every he had.

Your arms scrapped against the rocks below you, but you could hardly care or notice. Your back ached as it was forced into its arch, Shouto slamming you even  better the deeper you curved it. 

your mind truly turned to mush as Shouto leaned over your form, his chest to your back, reaching a hand around to roll over your clit as he continued to pound into you.

“You’re going to come with me, right, baby?” Shouto gritted out, just next to your ear. You nodded with everything you had, pleasure and sensation making your toes numb. 

Shouto’s thrusts became more frantic, panting and grunts joining your whimpers and soft cries. Your entire body felt so fucking hot. Mixing that with your arousal was making your vision black-ringed. 

“I-I’m close, please," You begged Shouto, surrendering to your senses as you laid your head on your arms. “Please!”

“Since you asked so nicely—” You could hear the smirk in Shouto’s voice as he bit at your ear, stroking harder at your clit, and somehow fucking you deeper.

You damn near screamed as you came, vision leaving you as you finally were given release.

Shouto gave his own cry as he fucked you through his own orgasm, filling you with stringy cum with each thrust. 

Shouto panted as he slowed, staying inside you as he pressed a few gentle kisses to your shoulders.

“Baby? You alright?” Shouto asked way too sweetly for the how filthily he had been plowing into you moments before.

“Very alright, just like...” You nodded, body shaking and sweating, turning to face him.

You had to stop speaking, seeing the way Shouto was just beaming at you, two-toned eyes shining in the low light. He noticed, stifling a pure laugh, “Like?”

“I’m mush right now. Mush for you in general,” You gave your own laugh, cutting yourself off with a gasp as Shouto pulled out, leaving you feeling incredibly empty. You almost whined.

Shouto carefully guided you from the hot spring, mindful of the various aches and abrasions. As you exited, you wrapped yourself in your discarded towel, giggling to yourself.

“Something funny?” Shouto asked, raising an eyebrow as he similarly covered up. 

“Nah, not really,” You pulled him with an arm around his neck, planting a wet kiss on his hot, flushed face, just under his scar. “Just thinking about how I have all weekend to show you how much I’ve missed you.”

Shouto just chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and smiling, “I can’t wait to find out.” 

[dameronsgalaxygal]

I’ve Been Waiting For You - Chapter 12: The Winner Takes it All

series masterlist

Pairing: modern!poe x reader 

Word Count: 3323

Warnings: ANGST with some fluff at the end, slight psychical (domestic) violence (a slap), mentions of abusive relationship, language. 

Song: The Winner Takes it All by ABBA

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE. Thank you all for being so patient with me and sending me all the love. Its been a few months since I updated and I HOPE it doesn’t happen again, cause I didn’t like not updating even though it was good for my mental health. BUT IM BACK AND BETTER AND UPDATED. I love you guys so much. This chapter may be heavy to some readers, so read at your own risk. As usual, don't forget to listen to the song, and comments and feedback are always welcome! Taglist is open! 

Summary: You confront Kyle and are brought back to the day before you left for Florida.

You had to be dreaming. You must have fallen asleep on the couch and this was some sick nightmare, because there was no way your ex boyfriend was standing in front of you.

Oh, but he was.

An overwhelming amount of emotions flooded your body as you looked at Kyle. Fear. Confusion. Panic.

“K-Kyle,” You nearly whispered, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you.”

“A year and a half later?” You wanted to ask but refrained. It made no sense why he was here. Since you had left New York, Kyle had only called you once. You had taken it as a sign that he had given up, but him standing in front of you said otherwise.

You swallowed hard, “What do you want?”

“You.” He said bluntly.

“How did you find me?” You asked, your voice shaking.

“I have my ways,” Yep, there’s the smart ass you remembered, “ Can I come in?” He took a step forward but you closed the door slightly, your body blocking him from going any further.

“No.”

“Y/N..”

“I need you to leave.” You had tears welding in your eyes. Every moment you had spent with Kyle in the past were just bad memories now. You didn’t need to be brought back, and you especially didn’t need to watch him plead his way back into you.

Since you had moved to Miami, you had grown so much stronger. You were able to speak about what Kyle had put you through both physically and mentally. You had felt so much better, not focusing on the past and being able to look toward the future. Poe was a big part of that. You would have never guessed you would have spilled your trauma to the pilot who flew you to your new beginning, let alone become your boyfriend.

But then your boyfriend lied to you. Sort of. You weren’t really upset that he didn’t tell you the truth at first. He had held in something traumatic that happened to him just like you did. What hurt was what he said to you. He told you you were selfish, only focusing on you, not giving a shit about other people's issues. He called you a coward, saying you were going to leave Miami just like you left New York only because you were upset with what he was saying, understandably. None of which was true.

You and Poe had completely different things that you had gone through, both having been extremely painful. Sure, they were different scenarios, but that didn’t mean that your pain mattered more than the his. These were the things you would help each other with.

Kyle sighed loudly, looking around, “Can I just come in? Let’s talk, shake hands. I deserve that much.”

You just stared at him. Was he really that much of an idiot?

“Kyle, I said no.” He never understood that word.

He clenched his jaw, “Y/N, I traveled all this way for closure. I am not leaving until I get it.” His tone was dangerous and familiar. Maybe you were a fool for your next action, but you weren’t sure what else to do but give him what he wanted. Just like you used to do when you were together.

You opened the door up a little more with a sigh, nodding as he walked in. He walked fully into your living room as you closed the front door and stood in your same position.

He examined the apartment before looking back at you, “Nice place. You live alone?”

You swallowed hard, shaking your head. “Two roommates.”

He nodded, “They home?”

“No.” What the hell are you doing giving him answers he didn’t need?

He sat down on the couch, opening his mouth to speak before you cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk about things we’ve gone through.” You said blatantly.

He glared at you, jaw clenching once again. You looked at him before looking away and taking a shaky breath.

“You hurt me. But it’s history now and I have nothing to say to you. I moved here to be happy.”

“What, you weren’t happy with me?” He stood up.

“No.”

He tilted his head up slightly in thought, furrowing his brow.

“That’s funny, I don’t recall you saying you were unhappy while I was fucking you against the wall multiple times a day,” He smirked.

“That’s because I didn’t know how to tell you without you threatening me!” You snapped. If it were a year ago, there was no way in hell you would be confronting Kyle. But Miami and Poe had changed you for the better. Poe would be proud of you for standing up for yourself. But Poe wasn’t here.

“Threatening you? Threatening you?” He chuckled dryly, taking a step toward you, “Name one time I threatened you.”

“I can name plenty.”

“Please,” He gestured for you to speak, “Enlighten me.”

You took a shaky breath, watching him carefully as he crossed his arms.

“Y-you told me if I didn’t have dinner on the table when you got home that you would make me sleep on the couch for being a ‘disrespectful woman’.”

He shrugged, “What’s so bad about that?”

“It’s rude. I didn’t have to do everything for you. I wasn’t your toy.” You scoffed, looking away.

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“It’s not funny, Kyle. You put me through so much emotional pain, not to mention the multiple times you laid your hand on me. I have nothing more to say. There is no closure to be made. Now please leave.”

He seemed shocked by your tone. You had never spoken to him like this, so he was very much caught off guard.

“Since when have you been little miss tough girl?”

You scoffed, “Since I found someone who loves me and cares for me.” Even though you and Poe had gotten into a fight, you had no doubt Poe still loved you.

Kyle cocked his eyebrow, “Well you moved on fast.”

Your face started to heat up with anger, “Yeah, well that’s cause I found someone I deserve. I was tired of your bullshit Kyle. You are a jackass who disrespects women. I was tied down to you and I was unhappy. You screamed at me and shoved me and I had had enough. So I left when I had the chance. And over the course of the last year and a half I have grown. I have grown and I am happy. I have someone who loves me and treats me the way a woman should be treated. So get the fuck out of my apartment.”

With that, the back of his hand smacked you hard across the face and you fell to the floor, grabbing your cheek. He looked down at you, gritting his teeth.

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Get out!” You tried to scream but it only came out as a whimper.

“I don’t even know why I stayed with you to begin with. The only thing you were good for was sex and putting food on the table.”

You looked up at him, your breath picking up.

“I tried. I tried to come here and apologize for my actions. It’s not my fault you don’t fucking listen.”

“You were stupid to think I would really accept your apology.” You mumbled. He lifted his hand again and you curled into yourself, squeezing your eyes shut to prepare for his next strike. He just sighed heavily before taking a step back.

“Forget it, you aren’t worth it.” He scoffed before leaving, slamming the door behind him.

Almost in time with the sound of the door, you choked out a sob, covering your mouth. You had to hold it together in front of Kyle. If he saw your weakness, he would have taken advantage of it.

You had been doing so well. You were growing and accepting yourself. You were learning to not allow him to hold you back. Until now. It was feeling like that day you decided to leave all over again. You thought you had gotten away for good, that you had nothing to worry about. You were wrong.

You cried loudly for a few minutes before gaining enough strength to stand up and walk over to the couch. You collapsed onto it, hands shaking as you reached for your phone to dial for Poe.

Your breathing was heavy, a mix between sobs and hiccups.

““Pick Up. Pick Up. Pick Up.” You whispered into the phone. This seems familiar, you thought.

“Hey.” Poe said, sighing in relief. It seemed as though he had been waiting for you to call.

“P-P-Poe…” You whimpered.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” His tone changed from relief to worry.

“No.”

“What’s going on? Are you safe?”

“I don’t know.”

“Baby what are you talking about?”

“K-Kyle.” Your cheek was really starting to sting now.

You couldn’t see it, but Poe’s face flushed with anger.

“What about Kyle?”

“H-He w-was h-here.”

“What?”

“He found me somehow a-and he said he wanted closure and I was an idiot and let him inside and I confronted him and told him to leave an-and he…” You swallowed hard, trying to contain yourself.

“He what, Y/N?” His jaw clenched.

“He hit me.”

Silence.

“P-Poe?”

“Is he gone?”

You nodded even though he couldn’t see you, “Yes. I think so. He was about to hit me again but then told me I wasn’t worth his time and he left.”

“Where are you right now?”

“On the couch in my living room. Poe I need you. P-please.” You let out a sob.

Poe’s heart broke. He was on the other side of the country for at least another day.

“Sweetheart..”

“I’m sorry Poe. I’m sorry for walking out on our anniversary. Just, please.”

Poe swallowed hard, “Don’t you dare apologize. This was not your fault at all. I said hurtful things that I regret and I haven’t gotten any sleep because I know how it tore you apart. And for that I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

You sniffled, “I forgive you. Can you please come home?”

He sighed, “Y/N..”

“I’m scared of being alone. Rey is away for the weekend and Rose is out with her friends. I don’t know what to do.”

All Poe wished he could do was snap his fingers and be there to hold you and remind you how much you are worth it. But life doesn’t work that way.

“Okay, okay. Deep breaths. I’ll see what I can do.”

You sniffled and nodded, wiping your eyes. “Okay.”

“If I hang up for a few minutes do you think you’ll be okay? Or do you want me to stay on the line?” His voice was soft to keep you calm.

“I think I’ll be okay.” You said shakily.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay…”

“Poe?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He smiled softly, “I love you too. I’ll talk to you in a few, okay?”

“Okay.” You hung up, taking a deep breath and tossing your phone back on the coffee table.

You covered your face, taking a few deep breaths like Poe had instructed you to do.

After a few minutes you stood up from the couch and made your way to the bathroom. You grabbed a washcloth, dampening it with warm water and gently stroking it along your bruised cheek. A small blue and purple bruise was forming underneath your eye and you sighed, shaking your head. It was all too familiar.

A knock on the door caused you to jump. You turned your head to look toward the door, lip already beginning to quiver. There was no way Poe had gotten here so quickly, which meant it was probably Kyle again.

You stood frozen, terrified of what would happen if you opened the door again.

“Y/N?” A female voice made you furrow your brow.

“Y/N, open up. It’s Leia.”

Leia? What was Leia doing on this side of Miami? She lived at least forty minutes away. However, you needed someone at this point, so you ran to answer the door.

“Leia.” You whispered.

“Hi hon.” She smiled softly.

“What are you doing here?” You sniffled.

“Poe called me. Luckily I was nearby visiting a friend.”

You sighed in relief, eyes forming tears once again.

“Can I come in?”

“Please,” You gestured for her to come inside.

She walked in, setting her bag down on the counter and then pulling you into a hug.

You hugged her tightly, small sobs escaping your lips as you cried into her shoulder. You clutched onto her shirt and she sighed.

“Let it out.”

“I was so scared. I did my best to stand up for myself but h-he..”

“I know. Poe told me. It’s okay. You don’t need to talk about it.”

You nodded and sniffled, finally calming down.

“Here,” Leia pulled back, “Let me see.”

You stood up straight as she gently ran her thumb along your bruised cheek.

“Ice and Advil should reduce the swelling. Do you know where he went?”

You shook your head, “I don’t know. I don’t know how he got my address or even knew I moved to Florida!”

She nodded, “Okay, well you aren’t going to stay here tonight. Are you comfortable with coming to my house for the night? Poe will be back tomorrow.”

You nodded. You just didn’t want to be alone, even though Rose would be back later. You weren’t as close to Rose. Leia was not only your boss, but Poe's aunt. You felt connected to her, and you were sure she knew about your past. Poe told Leia everything.

“Let me just pack a bag real quick.”

She smiled softly and nodded as you went to your room, packing up a change of clothes and pajamas along with some toiletries and your blanket.

You sent Rose a text letting her know you were going to be gone for the night and that you would be home sometime tomorrow. She didn’t reply, but you figured it was because she was out drunk at the bar. She’d realize you were gone eventually.

The drive to Leia’s house seemed shorter than it was, only because Leia managed to keep your mind off of Kyle. She talked to you about new books that were arriving in the shop, gave you more restaurant recommendations, and even talked you through your argument with Poe.

“He’s a boy. He doesn’t think before he speaks.” She’d say. You cracked a small smile.

“I’ll just tell you this, that boy loves you immensely. He’s been in love with you since he saw you get off the plane from New York. You have nothing to worry about” She said. You looked at her, lips parting slightly. She just looked at you and smiled before continuing to drive. Leia really did know everything.

The rest of the evening was comfortable. Her house was small but cute, with only two rooms and one bathroom. You were introduced to Leia's husband, Han, who wouldn’t stop cracking jokes. Normally you would tell him they were extremely cheesy, but you needed all the smiles and laughs you could get. Leia let you take the guest room and offered you the shower. You had been so emotionally exhausted, you just decided to slide into bed after thanking Leia and Han for offering you their home.

You laid down with an ice pack pressed gently against your cheek as you scrolled through your phone when a text popped up.

Hey. Called in tomorrow. Catching the next flight back to Miami. I won’t be back until late, so don’t wait up. Aunt Leia told me you’re at her place. I will see you first thing in the morning. I love you baby. Sleep well. - Poe

You smiled softly to yourself. He really cared about you so much that he called in to his job, as a pilot, to catch a flight home, when he isn’t piloting, to get home to you quicker. Just like Leia said, he loved you immensely.

-----------

You woke up the next morning to a familiar voice, the voice that had helped you grow so much the past year.

“Baby,” Poe’s voice caused your eyes to flutter open slowly. It took you a moment before you realized who it was. Your eyes widened when it came to you.

Without a word, you sprung up, throwing yourself into him. You held him as close as you could, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Poe sighed, nuzzling his head into your neck, “Me too.”

You stayed in silence for a moment before Poe spoke, “I’m going to find him, and I am going to beat his ass.”

You chuckled, pulling back and resting your forehead on his.

“I love you, but you don’t have to do that.”

He frowned when he saw your cheek, “Y/N, he did this to you..” He ran his thumb under your eye gently.

You sighed, “I know.”

“That’s not okay. He needs to be arrested.”

“I don’t know where he is now. For all I know he could have gone back to New York.”

Poe sighed and nodded, kissing the tender spot softly.

“How do you feel about staying with me for a bit? He doesn’t know me or my address, so he won’t know where you are. Just… until we have a pretty good idea he’s not here anymore.”

You smiled. Part of you hoped he would say that.

“I’d love that.”

He smiled widely, “Good, cause I took the week off. Family emergency.”

You shook your head, “You didn’t need to do that for me…”

“Yes I did. Because I love you, I care about you, and you and your safety is important to me.” He put his forehead on yours.

You took a shaky breath, “Thank you.”

He smiled as Leia walked in.

“How’re the lovebirds?”

You giggled as Poe stood up, walking over to her and wrapping his arm around her, kissing her head.

“Thank you for checking on her and bringing her here on such short notice.”

“Of course. She’s like family. She makes you happy.” She winked at you.

You smiled softly, looking down at your lap.

He smiled over at you before looking back down at Leia.

“I think I’m going to take her back to my place for the week just so I know she’s safe.”

Leia nodded, “If you two need anything, you let me know.” You nodded.

“Oh, and Y/N?” You looked up at Leia, “Take the week off.”

Your smile dropped, “Leia…”

“Please. Spend time together. I know you want it.”

You looked at Poe and he nodded, in which you smiled softly.

“Thank you.”

She winked again before clapping her hands together.

“Alright, I know it's been a rough last 24 hours, but I made french toast. Care to stay for a little while longer?”

“Hell yeah,” Poe chuckled, “How could I ever pass up Auntie's famous recipe?”

You giggled and nodded, “I’d love some.”

She smiled widely and nodded, “It’ll be ready in ten. I’ll leave you two alone..”

She walked out as you got out of the sheets, walking to Poe. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you put your hand on his cheek.

“I’m sorry about all the things I said to you…” He started.

You shook your head, “Later.”

He nodded, leaning down to kiss you slowly. You smiled through it, arms snaking around to wrap around his neck as he pulled you closer against his chest.

The spark you had missed the last couple days was finally back, and you were content, regardless of your confrontation with Kyle. You really couldn’t complain. He was home.

Kyle tried to break you once again, and in the moment you felt you had lost everything all over again. Your confidence, your happiness, yourself. But Poe was here to remind you that you hadn’t. You were still that beautiful, talented, strong woman he had gotten to know and love. You weren’t a loser. You were a winner, and the winner takes it all.

taglist<open> @twomoonstwosuns @darksideofclarke @poesflygirl @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @rewritingstarrs @aidela @softly-sad @millllenniawrites @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ @the-cry-of-youth @yeeintensifies @lanatheawesome @deeandbobbymcgee @yougottakeeponkeepinon​ @cloud-leader @multifandomlife22 @aroseamongthestars @liadamerondjarin @eternallyvenus @xremember-me-notx @frietiemeloen @itspdameronthings @triggerhappyflygirl @princessxkenobi​

[dolliedarlin]

hi!! how have you been?? how’s school?? i hope you’ve had a good weekend!!

im sorry it’s been so long since you’ve last heard from me! life has been very busy lately and i’m just now able to sit down and give you a life update lol.

i’ve spent the last week working every day and in my free time, i have been doing homework and procrastinating 😅 but i’ve been getting things done and being productive (even on slow days lol) so i keep telling myself to just keep doing my best and it’ll all work out!

i have started my book! i have read about 2 chapters of it as i’ve been unable to actually sit down and read at all this week and when i’ve had a chance i’ve been so tired i haven’t wanted to. hbu? have you had the chance to read any books lately?

my girls weekend went pretty well, on the downside however, we did hit a deer and it completely busted up my friends’ windshield so we had to find a ride back fo where we were staying and then a ride back home 😅 on the brighter side, her windshield should be fixed by next week, and we watched movies and ate ice cream lol. i also got to see the person that i still have feelings for, as they helped give us a tour around our friends college campus and they even picked her up from where we were staying to bring her back to school :)

overall i’ve been doing alright, i’m just very tired and busy lol, but i can’t wait to hear back from you!! :))

hello, my love! it's so great hearing from you! and don't worry about any sort of lateness, i can understand from all the times we've chatted that you're a busy bee that works hard and always does her best - i don't even register the time that's past since i'm just as busy on my own

university is hectic as usual, as soon as i find room to breathe, i have another deadline set, it's kinda funny but also pretty exhausting. i have a dissection guide due this thursday, wish me luck on completing it on time. but i'm looking forward to going home for this coming weekend as it's my dad's birthday ^7^ - he won't tell me how old he's turning...typical XD

but i've had a pretty good weekend as i went to another city for some Jollibee! it was so yummy! it felt great tasting my childhood again after such a long time. i just had a lot of committee work to do because of all the social events happening in my society and we don't really have an assigned event coordinator so liaising all the event details for an social media post are pretty hectic.

goodness, when i say you're a busy bee, you're truly a busy bee! make sure you continue taking care of yourself and your wellbeing, both, mental and physical alright, dollface?

i hope more time comes to you so you can really indulge in those beautiful pages! currently, i've been reading the 7 habits of highly effective people - it's really interesting but, just like you, i've found it hard to find enough time to really sit down and read it lately.

oh my gosh! what an experience, are you and your friends alright? how's the deer? at least you got to watch movies and eat ice cream, that's a vibe that i would regularly enjoy if i had the leisure time to XD and that's sweet, the person you like sounds like such a wonderful person, almost as wonderful as you - but you can never be beat in my eyes ;3

haha! we're too similar, us two, i'm much the same as you, busy and tired, sometimes losing sleep but prioritising hydration as it's getting colder out now that it's winter. oh! semi-good news, i was supposed to do work yesterday but i ended up just playing pokemon sword XD lol i felt like i needed it though - that burn out feeling weighs a little less on my shoulders ; i highly recommend taking time to do something you enjoy doing in between all that busy-ness makes everything less hard to get through <3

can't wait to hear from you soon!

all my love x

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

March Ado About Nothing

Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.

A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.

Day 4: A Nice Family Outing

Summary: It was always nice for Janus and Patton to get out of their house and take the twins somewhere they could play and scream without disturbing the neighbors...again.

Prompts: *Stabbing*, Rescues, Adverse Reaction  

Ships: Married Mociet (Janus x Patton) with kids Roman and Remus

Warnings: play fighting with sticks. Let me know if there are more!

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @/janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @/im-an-anxious-wreck  (in an effort to not flood your inboxes I’m only tagging in the first part ^-^)

WC: 850

Watching their sons stab each other, while an interesting way to spend the afternoon, definitely wasn’t the wholesome family fun outing Patton had imagined it to be when packing the picnic basket that morning. He chewed idly on a fingernail, tracking each movement with the quickness and accuracy that one really only acquired in parenthood- an instinct born from constantly trying to make sure your children didn’t die or kill/seriously maim each other before it was time for them to get their own insurance, and by that time one expected their sweet little gremlins to be grown up into something at least halfway civilized so that none of those instances happened by their own hands.

As it was his husband simply sighed in exasperated fondness beside him as the two run circles around each other a few yards away- both wielding sticks that they had been allowed to have on the grounds that if either of them seriously injured the other on purpose they would both be grounded for a month. In hindsight they really should have thought to bring the foam swords from home before they left but so far they had both been good about keeping the sticks away from their faces and not getting any more scrapes or bruises than was usual for all their roughhousing.

“I stabbed you you gotta play dead!” Remus yelled far too loud for Patton to be comfortable in public.

“Nuh-uh! Dad said no face stabs and you stabbed my face so it don’t count!” Roman screamed back.

“Doesn’t count Roman.” Janus supplied helpfully, earning an elbow in the ribs from Patton even as he snorted.

“Doesn’t count!” Roman parroted as he swung the stick at Remus’ knees.

“Does too! I hit your shoulder!”

“That's my face area so it doesn’t count!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is too!” Remus, apparently having enough of the brotherly banter, abandoned his stick to tackle Roman to the ground instead, bringing him down with an indignant shriek as they began to roll in the dirt. Patton sighed and mentally ticked off the laundry he had already done that weekend and added the twins’ clothes to the pile he still had in the laundry room. It was only mud and they were old clothes so he wasn’t too worried- honestly most of his concern was whether or not they’d have enough bandaids for all the scrapes they’d probably have on their legs afterwards. He smiled and leaned back on his hands, at least there was never a shortage of Make-It-Better-Kisses. “Should we pull them apart now or wait until someone comes over to tell us we’re bad parents?” Janus drawled as he took a sip of grape juice from his wine glass.

“They aren’t being that lou-” Another shriek brought his attention back to the boys as they were now play sword fighting with the previously abandoned sticks. “...give five more minutes they’re having fun.”

“Mm.” They watched in silence for a couple more minutes before Roman and Remus eventually got tired on their own, both of them flopping down on the blanket to pant and rest in front of them. Reaching forward Patton gently carded through Remus’ hair, trying to ruffle as much dirt and grass out of it as possible. He looked over to see Janus doing the same To Roman’s face with a wet wipe, though it seemed both of their efforts were in vain. Seeming to give up on the fussy child Janus instead took Patton’s hand and began wiping it off with the cloth, taking it when he was done and placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles and causing his face to turn a brilliant red as he struggled to get words past his sputtering lips.

“Gross Dad.” Roman quipped from his place on the blanket. Janus glanced down with a wholly unimpressed expression and reached for him.

“Gross huh? I’ll show you gross!” Before Roman could wiggle away he was scooped up into Janus’ strong arms, shirt tucked up and away as his lips blew raspberries into his sensitive stomach. The unholy shriek that left Roman’s mouth was piercing enough to give any demon a run for its money, wiggling and giggling uncontrollably as his attacker refused to let up.

Patton turned to Remus, who was simply laying and watching quietly. Patton poked his forehead. “Feeling left out?”

“No!”

Patton grinned and reached forward, choosing to attack Remus’ more sensitive ribs then taking his husband's approach. Remus tried to stay still, face turning red with a held breath that was let out a moment later in an explosion of laughter and squirming that only brought him closer to the offending fingers rather than away. Janus stopped first, panting heavily and laughing just as hard as Roman as Patton finally let up and placed a hand on Remus’ forehead where he was resting on his lap. The sun was going down and they’d have to leave soon, but it was nice letting out the last of their laughter for the sun to enjoy before they made their way back home.

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[iwritesickfic]

boy who cried flu

(yes I am aware of how stupid this title is leave me alone)

Peter rarely - if ever - got sick. Nobody who didn’t know him well would believe it though - he had a long track record of absences and missed assignments, despite being a 3.9 GPA student. He’s flaked from social events and parties countless times, always citing he’s not “feeling well.” It’s not technically a lie, though he does lie sometimes. 

People understand physical illness - they know what it feels like to be stuck in bed with a bad cold - but mental illness? Not so much. So...he bends the truth. A professor won’t be very forgiving if you say you spent all weekend in bed because you couldn’t find the motivation to move, but say you had a bad cough? No one bats an eye.

So most people assume Peter has an awful immune system. That or he’s just a pussy who won’t leave the house with so much as a sore throat. Everyone except a select few - Simon, Ashlynn, and Alex. 

Simon’d been his friend since undergrad, and they’d been roommates for a time, so he knows exactly what Peter means when he says he “doesn’t feel well.” Ashlynn is the type to show up unannounced with a quart of homemade soup. And Alex...Alex was there when things had gotten out of hand. 

But just because they knew he was lying when he said he was sick didn’t mean he stopped using it as an excuse. Ashlynn, despite herself, would usually not question it. Simon wouldn’t think twice about the lie, almost taking it as a direct confession. Alex would usually get pissed off and demand some kind of proof.

They were supposed to go to the beach tomorrow - get up early and take the train together to rockaway. But somehow, for the first time in years, Peter has something more than some congestion. Something way more.

It started a few days ago, a runny nose and swollen sinuses. He slept like shit, and the next morning his throat was raw and he absolutely could not breathe through his nose. But he had class, so he took the train in and sat in his lecture and tried to keep his sniffling to a minimum. By the time he was headed home, he’d long since run out of clean tissues, so he tends to his nose with a damp scrap of napkin he found buried in his bag, his nostrils red and irritated from the abuse. 

By the time he gets home, his congestion has gone from a clogged, static brick in his head to leaky, runny mess, but he’s well aware he can’t take a day off from work on his thesis, so he sits in bed working until 2 AM, one hand wiping the mess from his upper lip, the other scribbling notes in his worn out pad. 

He wakes the next morning not sure when he fell asleep, his head pounding heavily behind his eyes, sinuses throbbing and inflamed. His throat feels swollen and hot, and the relentless sneezing that started the night before isn’t helping any. The two days prior, everything seemed to be concentrated in his head, but now it’s clear it’s migrating into his chest as well. Halfway through his day at work in the library, he starts to cough, wet and harsh. 

It doesn’t help that his body aches like he ran a marathon, and chills are coursing through him like ice water in his veins. By the end of the day he can’t wait to finally sit down and rest. His body’s been screaming for it since the moment he got out of bed, and all day shelving books has really taken its toll.

Unfortunately, he’s got an hour long commute and lucky for him, it’s standing room only. He grips the subway pole like a lifeline, his head spins every time the train rocks. He catches a glimpse of his reflection in the darkened window - he looks awful. Bags like bruises under his eyes that are rimmed in pink and half lidded, his nose irritated and red. A coughing fit tears through him, and he tries his best to catch it in his sleeve. His knees start to tremble as he tries to take deep breaths, and he’s startled when someone taps him on the shoulder.

“You wanna sit?” the woman asks, and it takes him a minute to realize she’s offering her seat. Normally, he’d suck it up, but he’s too miserable to refuse. He mumbles a thanks, and sinks down.

It takes all his self control not to fall asleep then and there.

By the time he’s back at his building, he’s seriously doubting he can climb four flights to get to the apartment. Part of him would rather just lay down in the lobby but he knows this is the final stretch before he can climb into bed and sleep.

He’s interrupted by several fits of coughs, and by the time he’s reached the fourth floor he’s practically gasping for air, and soaked in sweat. The chills he had all day have swapped with an oppressive heat that makes him feel almost lightheaded. 

Somehow, he’s quite sure, he manages to stumble to bed, stripping off his damp clothes, the cool air on his slick skin throwing him back into shaking chills. Just as he’s about to let himself be sucked into sleep, his eyes fly open. Tomorrow. 6 AM. He’s supposed to go to the beach. There is no fucking way he is going to the beach.

He texts their group chat with trembling fingers.

hey im real sick i cant go tomorrow

There’s an immediate reply from Alex.

don’t fuckin do this man. we’re going.

A text from Simon.

you’ll feel better if you leave the house, you always do.

He sighs, cursing himself for using this shitty excuse so much now no one will take him seriously.

im serious i feel like trash

Alex answers immediately.

PETER. youre not sick youre being a pussy. we’re going to the fucking beach and we’re having a good time.

Simon responds.

chill alex.

if youre depressed thats fine but maybe consider coming still it might help.

i mean i’d feel better if you came

Peter groans.

im sick. like sick sick. like flu sick.

Alex shoots back quickly.

ok then what are your symptoms?

Peter rubs his eyes, trying to relieve some of the throbbing. 

fever, chills, aches, cough, runny nose, headache, tired.

There’s a moment of silence and he places his phone on his bedside table with a sigh. He’s about to go under when his phone starts to buzz. Once. Twice. Three times. He swears, grabbing it. Three texts from Alex. The first is a screenshot of the symptom list that appears when you google “flu” which just happens to be in identical order.

you need to be more creative

seriously man im not letting you miss this. we planned this months ago. dont be a dick.

Finally, Ashlynn chimes in.

you dont need to lie p, its ok if you dont wanna come.

While Peter would like to further argue that he’s not in fact lying, he just doesn’t have the energy. At this point, it doesn’t matter what they think. He’s not going - who gives a shit why? He’s able to fall asleep almost immediately, but unfortunately, he doesn’t really stay asleep.

He wakes up about every 45 minutes, coughing or shivering or burning or all three. After his fourth or fifth jolt awake he can’t for the life of him seem to get any rest. Every time he’s about to drift off, another coughing fit explodes from his chest and leaves him trembling. He’s hot, but he’s not sweating, which he realizes vaguely must mean he’s dehydrated. As the night wears on and his condition continues to worsen, he wonders if he should call an uber to take him to the ER. He can’t afford it, not in the slightest, but he’s not sure he’s ever felt this terrible before. Somehow, he remembers there’s an old thermometer in the kitchen. An old roommate had bought it thinking it would work for deep frying but didn’t realize the range only spanned from 95 to 107.

He needs to take his temperature. See how serious this actually is. He can’t remember the last time he actually ran a fever, so he’s not sure if this is just par for the course or whether this level of misery is cause for alarm.

He stumbles into the kitchen, and for once he’s glad to live in such a god-awfully tiny studio. He lands heavily against the counter, and rummages through the drawer to find the small device. After what feels like an eternity, he manages to grab it with shaking hands, fumbling with the buttons for a moment before flipping on the small kitchen light. 

He sticks it under his tongue, it feels like ice. He tries to coach himself on what he’s going to do. If it’s over 100, he’ll go to the hospital. No, that’s too low. 102?Still maybe too ambitious of a goal. It’s then he realizes he’s really just trying to justify what he’s going to do anyway - save himself an ER bill and stay in bed. He’s jerked out of his thoughts when the small device beeps and he removes it carefully from under his tongue. 

The display flashes 103.2. He doesn’t really know what that means but after a quick google search it’s not exactly any clearer. It’s bad, but not bad enough to cause brain damage, supposedly. Fuck it, that’s good enough for him. He climbs shakily back into bed, the small excursion has left him absolutely exhausted. 

He needs medicine. He knows that. Some tylenol at the very least, but if he can barely walk to the kitchen he doesn’t know how in hell he’s getting out the door, down the stairs, to the pharmacy, and back again. So, he’ll just have to live with it. 

He spends the rest of the night in and out of half-sleep, each coughing fit seeming to drive the illness deeper into his lungs. His nose has started to run again, and each rub with the already-used tissue makes his poor sensitive nostrils burn in protest.

The next morning he wakes to the harsh, deafening drone of his apartment’s buzzer system. He cracks his eyes and checks the time. 6:42 AM. Whoever the fuck it is can wait, he’d like to suffer in peace. Still, as he tries to slip back into the sleep the buzzer continues to go off and after about five minutes, he sits up in bed, fighting the wave of dizziness that washes over him. He stumbles to the keypad and presses the button that opens the lobby door, and the buzzing finally - mercifully - ceases. 

He grabs a t shirt from a pile on the floor and pulls on a pair of boxers - he doesn’t know if he’d be able to stand anything more with the way his fever is raging. He sits on the edge of his bed, trying to catch his breath, quickly breaking down into another awful fit of coughs. Just as he’s finished, he hears a heavy knock on the door. Sighing, he forces himself up, padding slowly over to the door, trying not to aggravate the dizziness any further. He pulls open the door and is confused to see not an overzealous delivery person, but his three friends. 

He stares dumbly for a moment before a breath catches in his throat and he breaks into thick, wet coughs. He sniffles, wiping his nose with his wrist, before looking back up at them.

“What?” he mumbles, and there’s an awkward silence. 

“Shit,” Alex finally says and Peter sniffles.

“What do you want?” he repeats, surprised at the hoarse, broken quality of his voice. Does he really sound that bad? Ashlynn pushes forward, wrapping him in a tight hug. She’s short, so her face is pressed into his chest, and he stumbles back slightly.

“Oh Peter,” she whispers, and he swallows, closing his eyes. She pulls away, and he has to force them open again. She she presses a hand to his forehead. Her palm feels cool but uncomfortable against his oversensitive skin. “You’re burning up.”

“I know,” he murmurs, wishing the conversation could be over so he can go lie down and not have to explain himself to his friends. He sighs, and narrowly avoids another coughing fit. “Are you gonna come in or you just all gonna stand there?” They exchange looks. “Well?”

Ashlynn pushes past him, followed by Simon and finally Alex. Peter shuts the door and tries his best not to look as fucked up as he feels walking to sit in one of his kitchen chairs. 

“What do ya’ll want?” he asks Simon and Alex, Ashlynn already digging through the medicine cabinet.

“We don’t want anything we were just concerned,” Simon says.

“Then why do you look so fucking shocked?” Peter snaps, even though he knows Simon is only telling the truth.

“Because I was 100% sure you were bullshitting,” Alex says. Peter is far too tired to get into a verbal sparring match with Alex, but he tries halfheartedly anyway.

“Still sure?” before Alex can reply Ashlynn is back with a damp washcloth and the thermometer he’d used the night before. She lays the cloth on the back of his neck, and he can’t help the small whine that escapes. 

“Open,” she says, and he does. She places the thermometer under his tongue gingerly, and strokes some of his hair off his forehead. “You don’t have anything? For this?” Peter shakes his head. She presses her lips into a line. “Simon and me are gonna go out and grab some stuff, ok?”

“That’s not necessary.” His voice is almost slurred with the fever, and as if on cue the thermometer beeps. Ashlynn frowns at the reading. She shakes her head.

“Christ, Peter.” She touches his forehead again, this time with the back of her hand. “103.6 and it’s not necessary?”

“I don’wanna be lectured.”

“I’m not lecturing.” She spends another moment fussing with his hair before getting up, grabbing Simon. “We’re going to get some stuff, we’ll be back. Alex, make sure he doesn’t die, ok?” It’s clear Alex is about to protest, but Ashlynn levels him with a glare. They leave, and then it’s just Peter and Alex.

Alex stands by the door, hands in his pockets. It’s a while before either of them speaks.

“What was I supposed to think?” he finally says, and Peter tries to swallow his anger.

“I don’t know, man.” He runs a hand through his greasy, sweat damp hair. He starts to shiver again, wrapping his arms around his torso. Alex takes a careful step forward.

“You get why I wouldn’t believe you, right?”

“Yes, Alex.” The chills are now back in full force, he’s sure he must be shaking like a leaf. He wants nothing more than this conversation to be over, but Alex doesn’t seem to be getting to message.

“You never get sick. Ever. So what am I-”

“I get it. It’s fine. Just...stop talking. Please.” He’s shaking so bad he can feel his teeth chattering. He pulls his knees to his chest. He closes his eyes, praying something - anything - will warm him up. He hears footsteps and fumbling, then feels a dry, warm blanket being tucked around his shoulders. He looks up, and Alex is standing there, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Do you wanna lay down or something?” The thought of climbing back into his sweat damp sheets makes him cringe, so he shakes his head. “Why not?”

“S’gross, I sweat a ton.” 

Alex nods.

“Right. What about the couch? You can lay on the couch and I can do your laundry.” 

Getting horizontal sounds heavenly, so he nods, and Alex touches his shoulder, quickly pulling his hand back.

“What the fuck - dude, you’re like...on fire. Shit.” He tests the side of his neck and winces. “Fuck.”

“Can you just help me?” Peter is embarrassed at how small and sick his voice sounds, and the fact he’s asking Alex of all people for help, but he knows if he tries to do it on his own he’s going to fall and crack his skull.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He wraps an arm around Peter’s waist, and supports him the few feet to the couch. It’s not very far but his knees go weak about halfway there and he’s glad Alex is holding him. As soon as he gets onto the couch, he curls on his side and closes his eyes. “You’re ok?” Peter nods, and Alex pats his shoulder awkwardly. “Ok. Cool. Just...stay there, I guess.” Peter can hear him starting to strip the bed.

“I was maybe gonna go for a run,” he mumbles, and Alex laughs softly. 

“Definitely. Then I’ll enroll at NYU for my bachelor’s.”

“You’re just jealous you don’t have all my debt.”

“You’re right. I’ve been trying to rack up some credit card bills but so far no luck.”

Peter opens his eyes to see Alex with the bundle of sheets in his arms and the bottle of detergent. He pauses for a second, shifting from foot to foot.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and Peter swallows hard.

“I know man, it’s ok.” Alex smirks.

“Alright. Don’t die while I’m gone.”

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 16

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- more smut to cum

- i’m having a hard time finding 2015 Niall gifs so i may add 2016 gifs instead. if you want to propose me any PLEASE message me. youll make my day!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

- the ending sucks? im sorry

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 16 : His chapter

NIALL

I tried to enjoy the afternoon with everyone but I couldn't pretend that I didn't mind that Liv was not there with me. After all, I decided to accept Harry's invitation this weekend to spend time with her and I was a bit annoyed that I was stuck with other people. I swam a bit but ended up mostly checking stuff on my phone and trying not to interact with people too much but I couldn't ignore them forever, especially not Maya who had tried to catch my attention all day.

I felt her sit on a chair next to me and it reminded me of when we were all around the fire a few nights ago. I could still remember her hand on my thigh and It made me swallow hard. I could feel her eyes on me and after a while, I couldn't resist and looked up, sending her a small but uncomfortable smile before looking back at my phone.

"I know you're avoiding me, Niall." she just admitted with a sigh, making me close my eyes. "I'm not sure why, though. I mean, you kissed me yesterday.. Is it wrong of me to think you may like me?"

I remained motionless for a few seconds, not really sure of what to answer her. I had no idea why I had kissed her but somehow, I regretted it. I knew doing something like that with her was going to make everything messier and that was why I had decided not to do anything in the first place. Now, it was too late and I knew blaming it on alcohol was just plain wrong, even if it was tempting.

I breathed in and turned to look at her, the expression on her face making me feel extremely guilty. Did I like Maya? No, I really didn't think so, and I was not sure why. She was physically everything I would have dreamed of, and had a great personality too, but I just didn't feel it at all. I remember wanting to shag her a few years ago but now I just didn't care. It made no sense and I didn't even want to try and understand my own feelings.

"Honestly, Maya." I sighed and shook my head slightly. "I'm just not ready for a relationship. Actually, I don't want a relationship."

I saw her face change and I could read sadness on her traits. I was a fucking asshole and also an idiot.

"I'm sorry, yesterday was just... a spur of the moment." I explained, moving my face closer to her and talking in a low and gentle tone. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but at that moment I really wanted it, but I don't think I want things to go further, you know?"

I noticed how disappointed she was and perhaps even heartbroken. I didn't know she liked me that much and it surprised me but there was nothing else I could do. I knew if I kept talking I would probably make things worse so I just reached out to grab her hand and squeezed it a bit, sending her a sad smile.

"Are you okay?"

I expected her to take her hand back but she just squeezed it too, putting her other hand over mine.

"No, I mean yes." she expressed, closing her eyes for a few seconds and chuckling low. "I mean, if you change your mind..."

I opened my lips to answer her but suddenly received a beach ball on my head, making me groan as I turned around. Gemma was laughing and Louis just shrugged as an apology, his eyes open wide. He looked amused and I just rolled my eyes.

"Clearly you suck at this game Tommo!" I yelled loud enough for him to hear when I noticed they were playing volleyball. "The girls are winning!"

"They beat us in numbers, that's why we're losing!" Liam argued, making me laugh again.

"Yea you tell yourself that, Liam!" I let out with a laugh.

"Why don't you show us your skills then, Neil?"

I hesitated a few seconds but finally got up, taking my shirt off and throwing it over my phone before running to them and joining the guys' team. We played for about an hour but lost against the girls and when we all walked back to the cars, I was exhausted. It made me realize I hadn't thought about my best friend in a while and just that simple idea made my heart skip a beat. She probably wasn't thinking about me either, most likely too busy to make out with Harry and I grimaced at that thought. I felt like i'd never be at ease with their relationship and it bugged me.

I noticed Maya decided to ride with Louis and it made me frown but at the same time, it was a relief. I didn't know how to act around her anymore and I was scared I had been a bit rough with her. After all, I did send her a few mixed signals and it was wrong of me, but it was better to be honest now than to make her believe something could happen between us.

"It's early, d'you think Harry and Liv are done doing it or should we just go grab a bite to give them more time?"

My head moved up to fast I almost heard my neck crack and I stared at Louis as he unlocked the door of his car to let people in.

"They're not... doing... anything." I pointed out with an annoyed chuckle, raising one of my shoulders up. "What are you on?"

"Oh Neil, you poor poor naive boy." Louis said with a laugh, shaking his head and putting his hand on my shoulder. "They've been postponing this shit for so long, don't you think they want to have some fun now?"

I frowned more, my eyes roaming on his face as he smiled more.

"If he touched her i'm gonna kill him." I just replied without thinking, making Louis chuckle.

"That's not really your business, Niall, is it now?"

My facial expression changed but I tried to keep the anger in. I was tired to hear that it was none of my business and that I was not allowed to protect and care for Liv. She was my best friends and that's what best friends do. I wanted to tell him to keep his opinions to himself but I swallowed my words, the feeling extremely unpleasant. Louis took a step closer and looked behind himself to make sure everyone was in the car before turning back to look in my eyes.

"If you want to be more than friends with her, you need to do it now, or it may be too late." he pointed out in a low tone, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I have no idea what the f-" I started, taking a step back, as he gripped my shoulder harder.

"Shut up." he cut me. "That little competition you've got going on with Harry? It's getting annoying, and it's about Olivia. The sooner you open your eyes the better, so we don't have to witness it anymore, okay?"

Without giving me the chance to answer, he turned around and sat in his car, closing the door roughly. I stood there for a few more seconds and finally pushed all the air out of my lungs before walking around my car and sitting behind the wheel. I would have laughed at his words if I hadn't been so fucking pissed. Everyone around me was going fucking insane, and Louis was just the worst of them all.

Maybe the way I cared about her could pass as more than friendship but they all knew how close Liv and I were and I couldn't understand why suddenly, it meant something else. Nothing had changed between us except maybe the fear of losing the other but that didn't mean we had feelings for each other.

I drove the whole way back to the lodge in silence, trying to respect the speed limits, even if I was impatient to get back there, if only to know if Louis was right. Now that he was mentioning it, they were always flirty around each other and it made something stir in my stomach. I remembered the way they danced at the club or the things they said when we played truth or dare. Why didn't I notice that before? It seemed so obvious now that that's what Harry had in mind when he asked me to spend time with Liv alone and I slapped myself mentally for being so oblivious to his intentions.

My seat belt was undone as soon as I parked the car and I quickly grabbed my stuff to walk back inside fast. I was still mad and I really didn't feel like talking with anyone so when I rushed to my room, I didn't think to knock. If catching my best friend masturbating wasn't enough, finding her naked under one of my bandmates would certainly do the trick from now on.

Liv let out a short high-pitched scream while Harry muttered a curse word, pushing his body over hers to hide her from my eyes. His reaction brought back the anger inside me and I held my breath as my eyes found Liv's. She immediately closed them as I remained motionless, facing the bed. I couldn't think of any worse scenario than this exact one.

"Niall, could you please just fucking leave?" Harry asked, glaring at me.

"You're fucking my best friend! I'm not leaving!"

The words escaped my lips and my heart skipped a beat. It didn't make any sense but at the same time, it did to me.

"We're not having sex, we were just making out." Liv explained in a soft voice, her eyes still shut tight.

"You're bloody naked!" I mentioned, my face twisting into an upset grimace. "You guys have been dating for like, two minutes!"

"That's none of your business, Niall, now leave." I heard Harry say, making me even angrier.

"You, you don't tell me what to do!" I let out meanly, taking a step closer and pointing a finger at him.

"NIALL! LEAVE!"

The room became quiet and my eyes met Olivia's as my lips parted in surprise. I let my arm fall back on my side, my heart beating hard in my chest as I tried to remember if my best friend even yelled at me before. I couldn't really blame her. I was, in fact, yelling at the guy she liked while she waited naked under him, but I was still shocked by her words. I remained motionless, just staring at her for a while, until she swallowed hard, closing her eyes again.

"Please, Nee, leave." she repeated in a low tone this time.

It took me about a minute to turn around and leave, shutting the door so hard behind myself that the frame shook slightly. I passed my hand in my hair, pulling on it hard and roughly, as I paced in the hall. I didn't know how to let go of that insanely painful and annoying feeling inside of me and I groaned low, closing my eyes hard, trying to get rid of the image of Harry on top of my best friend.

I don't know how long it took but it seemed to take forever until the door opened again. Harry stopped in front of me and we stared at each other until he shook his head a few times.

"What?" I let out a bit too loud, raising my hands up. "You're mad at me because you didn't have time to shag her?"

"I'm mad because you hurt her and she's sad." he let out slowly and in a low tone, making sure I heard every word. "I'm mad because she asked me to leave and I can't comfort her, she won't let me be there for her and yes Niall, I blame you."

He just moved past me, hitting my shoulder with his arm lightly as he left but I didn't budge.

"If you loved her, you should have told me when I asked you." he added as he reached his room. "Now it's too late."

I held my breath until I heard his door close and took a few steps, pushing on the ajar door of the room I shared with Liv. I was surprised to see her walk quickly around in the dark, wearing Harry's shirt. The sight made me cringe but I just shoved my hands on my pockets.

"What the FUCK are you doing?" I asked, my eyes following her as she grabbed stuff around the room.

"I'm leaving!" she just let out, not even looking at me.

"Leaving? From here? Or just from this room?"

She didn't answer but sniffed and that's when I noticed she was crying. I felt my heart break in my chest and most of my anger vanished. Seeing Olivia sad was the worst thing in the fucking world. I could have told her to leave. I could have told her to go see Harry if that's what she fucking wanted. But she was crying and it made me want to take her in my arms instead. She ended up on her knees, sobbing even more, and I knew that if she was shamelessly crying like that in front of me, it meant she couldn't control it. I sighed and put myself in front of her, getting on my knees too. They brushed against the carpet and I winced a bit at the pain in my left one, making me realize I shouldn't have played volleyball for so long.

"Please, petal, i'm so sorry."

Cautiously, I reached for her shoulders with both my hands, expecting her to push me away but instead, she just collapsed in my arms, her head leaning against my upper arm. I held her closer and tighter, burying my face in her hair and smelling the same thing I had noticed a few days ago. I inhaled deeply, the scent of vanilla invading me, and pressed her body against mine the best I could. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous, and I was not even sure why she was crying. All I knew is that I wanted her to stop being sad.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated just as low. "I really shouldn't have. Fuck. I don't know why I got so pissed I just.. I just don't want him to take advantage of you."

I held her close a few more minutes and she wiped her tears on my shirt, looking up in my eyes. I brought both my hands to her face and cupped her cheeks, running my thumbs under her eyes to remove what was left of her sadness. My gaze traveled on her face, noticing how heartbroken she looked, and my lips parted slightly at how close we were.

"He was... he was not. I wanted this." she murmured.

I couldn't understand myself anymore. I didn't know what was happening to me, or what I wanted. All I knew was that I was losing her and that no matter what I did, nothing seemed to go back the way it used to be.

"I don't deserve it but please, forgive me." I breathed out, watching her eyes flutter close and open again, my face still only a few inches away from hers. "I'm gonna leave you two alone now, okay? I'll let you do whatever you want without a comment and without butting in."

She closed her eyes and I felt her shake a bit, aware that she was near sobbing.

"Hey, hey, Liv..." I tried to get her attention back. "I promise. Just... look, i'm so fucking scared to lose you."

I thought i'd regret my words but as soon as they escaped my lips, I felt an incredible relief wash over me but still held my breath. I could feel my heart beat against my rib cage but her eyes opened and she shook her head lightly.

"You'll never lose me, Niall." she pointed out, swallowing hard. "I feel like you're always so close to leave. I'm scared you'll realize that I'm nothing compared to the people you hang out with and you'll just drop me."

Her voice was low and weak and her words shook me in a way I didn't expect. How could she ever think something so bad coming from me? How could she ever think so low of herself?

"If anything, you're too good for me." I whispered, running one of my thumbs on her lips. "You're my best friend and I love you, okay? I'll always love you."

Her eyes got slightly bigger when I moved closer for a few seconds but I finally moved back and licked my lips, still cupping her face.

"You understand?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as she nodded slowly. "Okay."

I loosened the grip I had on her cheeks and she sat up, closing her eyes. I felt like shit for how I was acting around her and even if I couldn't shake the bad feeling I had about Harry and her, I knew I had to keep it to myself from now on, even if it would be tough.

"Please, stay."

She didn't look at me at all. She just got up, leaving her stuff on the floor, and walked to the bed to sit on it. I got up too and sighed, biting my bottom lip as I looked at her.

"Are you hungry?" I just asked, shoving my hands in my pockets again.

"Yea, give me a few minutes, I'll dress up and meet you in the kitchen." she said after clearing her throat. I nodded and turned on my heel but stopped again when I heard her voice. "You should go talk to Harry."

I shut my eyes tight, grabbing the inside of my pockets tight as I breathed in. I knew she was right, but there was nothing I wanted less than to go talk to him. Still, I had to do it for her.

"Okay."

I closed the door behind myself and quickly walked to Harry's room, knocking on the door. It swung open after only a few seconds and when I saw his smile fall down, I realized he had hoped for Liv, and not for me.

"Harry, I just wanted to say that i'm sorry." I quickly let out, one of my hands still twisting the fabric of the inside of one of my pockets. "That won't happen again."

His face softened slightly but I could tell he was still pissed at me. We remained silent for about a minute and I just nodded a few times, turning around to leave.

"Why?"

His question made me frown and I turned around to look at him again, shrugging.

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you just tell me that you loved her?" he questioned me, taking a step closer to me and leaning against the door frame.

"Because I don't." I rolled my eyes. "What's wrong with you guys? Liv and I have always been close, it's nothing new."

"No, things have changed." he argued again. "You never cared about who she dated before."

He was right, but I couldn't tell him that I knew him and that I was scared he'd break her heart. I couldn't tell him that seeing them together gave me a wrong vibe. I couldn't tell him I felt like I'd be the one who'd have to mend the pieces of her heart after he breaks it. So I just shrugged and raised my eyebrows.

"I've always been protective of her."

"That's very close to being possessive. You should know that."

I grimaced at his accusation but swallowed a bitter remark.

"Well that's over." I just explained. "I promise this won't happen again. By the way, it's dinner. I think Louis bought food on his way back."

When I walked down the hall, I heard some whispers and everyone was sitting at the table when I entered the kitchen. It was so obvious that they all had been listening that I suddenly felt nauseous. I took a seat as everyone started taking food from the bags Louis had placed on the table. He had decided on chinese and it made me take a mental note to hit the gym as soon as this crazy weekend would be over. I realized a bit too late that I was sitting next to Maya but I decided to not overthink it.

I tried not to stare when Liv and Harry entered the room too but noticed Louis sending them a smirk. They both sat next to each other but on the other side of the table and I bit my tongue hard enough to make sure I didn't make any comment about it. Was I annoyed that my best friend wasn't sitting by my side? Yes. But after the tantrum I had just thrown, I knew I should lay really fucking low.

We all started eating but for some reason, I didn't feel like talking with anyone. I didn't add anything or even laugh when Louis made a few comments about Liv and Harry spending the whole day alone together in the house. I focused on eating what was in my plate quickly and when I was done, I brought my dishes to the counter and got out of the room, letting myself fall on one of the couches with a loud sigh.

I only had a few minutes of alone time when I realized Maya had joined me, taking a seat next to me but not close enough to touch me. I looked up at her and blinked a few times as she sent me a sorry look.

"We sort of heard." she confessed, nibbling her bottom lip as my gaze dropped to my lap.

"Yea, I sort of guessed."

"I know you just want us to be friends but I want you to know that, if you need me, I'm always here."

I felt defeated and I didn't know why. I felt a lot of things these days that I just didn't understand. Olivia and I had talked, and we both made it clear that we would never leave each other. Then why did I still feel like shit? Why did I feel like a truck had ran over my heart until it stopped beating? Why the FUCK did I feel like I had lost?

"I don't know what I want anymore, Maya." I sighed, closing my eyes and passing one of my hands in my hair.

"What does that mean?"

I stayed motionless for a few seconds and finally opened my eyes, sighing again. I shrugged and looked up before diving my gaze into hers. She was gorgeous and kind. Smart and sexy. She was literally everything i've always dreamed of.

"It means i'm not making promises, but I guess we could try. We could go on a date, maybe?"

I saw surprise light up her face and her lips parted, making me chuckle sadly. I was not sure I was doing the right thing but at this point, I was not sure of anything. Perhaps, finding myself someone to be with would make all of this easier. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry anymore when I'd see Harry with my best friend.

"If you're still interested, of course."

[inactiveblogxoxo]

whoa i wrote a fic again

crAZY ((sorry i was sick for like two months and then i moved but now im hopefully writing again))

AYWAY: Kiribaku fic

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345518

what do you mean

Sum:  Kirishima thinks Bakugou has a girlfriend. Bakugou just wants Kirishima to act like he usually does. Will they ever understand what they mean to each other? ((yes. They will.))

tags:  Bakusquad (My Hero Academia), Movie Nights, Jealous Kirishima Eijirou, Misunderstandings, solved almost immediately, No Angst, straight fluff, Fluff, jirou and bakugou are bffs, im so tired, Not Beta Read, One Shot

full fic in read more

They settled into watching some super old horror. The film was in black and white and from before quirks appeared, but it was bloody and entertaining enough.

Kaminari and Sero sat cuddled up on Sero’s hammock, Ashido rested in a bean bag chair next to the them that she had brought up from her own dorm. Jirou sat on the floor, her back resting against the bean bag. Kirishima and Bakugou shared Sero’s bed, their backs both against the wall and their feet hanging off the side in from of them.

They were twenty minutes into the film and every time Bakugou happened to brush against Kirishima, Kiri would shift further away from him. It was driving Bakugou insane. Kirishima was always throwing an arm around him and pulling him closer, what the fuck did he do? He had been distant all week.

Sunday night he had been tutoring the gaggle of idiots he spends his time with, minus the red head who had been visiting his moms that weekend. Sero and Kaminari left early to binge some anime together, leaving just him and Ashido. Ashido jumped into gossiping, which gathered the attention of Jirou, Hagakure and Uraraka, and soon Bakugou found himself surrounded by them at the once productive table in the common room.

That’s how Kirishima found him when he walked into the dorms with his over night bag over his shoulder.

“Kiri! Welcome back!” Ashido called out to him. Kirishima had smiled and sauntered over.

“Hey, Mina!” He smiled and bent down to hug her. Turning as he stood, he made eye contact with Bakugou and rose an eyebrow at him. “So, what’s going on here?”

“Bakubabe was giving us some hot goss!” Ashido rested her chin in her palm as she smiled.

“I fucking told you not to call me that, raccoon eyes,” Bakugou bristled, his chin tucked to his chest to avoid Kirishima’s gaze.

“And I told you not to call me raccoon eyes, bakulicious.”

“bakulicious” Uraraka snorted under her breath.

Bakugou scoffed and rolled his eyes but said nothing else, he was tired and Kirishima was back. The rest of this night no longer mattered.

“Kiri, how are your moms?” he asked instead, partly out of curiosity, partly to draw the attention away from him.

Kirishima lit up, “oh! They’re great! You should come back with me next time, they asked about you!”

“Oooooo,” Hakagure cooed, “you guys know each other’s parents? Just how close are you?”

Bakugou again rolled his eyes and Kirishima just smiled.

“Wait, have I been so focused on the budding romance of Uraraka and Midoryia-“

“W-What!” Uraraka interrupted with a blush.

“-that I’ve been missing out on the one blossoming right before my eyes?” Ashido continued as if Uraraka said nothing. Bakugou groaned and rested his forehead against the table, figured she would say something completely idiotic.

“Hm, I could see it happening,” Jirou mused. Fuck, he forgot she was there. He lifted his head and found her staring at him with a menacing grin. Fuckkk, he never should have told her anything.

“Right?!” Hakagure gushed, “you guys would be so cute together!”

“Aw, c’mon, guys, stop. We’re just good friends,” Kirishima spoke up for them, hand awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Bakushima… no, wait, Kiribaku… no, wait, maybe-“

“What the fuck are you doing, Ashido?” Bakugou interrupted her musing.

“I’m trying to make a cute couple name for you two!” She grinned, “like dekuraka! For Midoryia and Uraraka!”

That seemed to KO Urauraka, who slammed her hands down on her face and floated away while bright red.

“Don’t fucking bother! That’s dumb as shit,” He grumbled, sinking into his chair. He felt Jirou’s eyes on him still and he hated the feeling.

“C’mon, it’s kind of cute,” Jirou twirled one of her ear jacks with a smirk. “Admit it, Katsuki.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Kyouka,” he snarled. How dare she taunt him. How dare she use his first name to do it.

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna go to bed,” Kirishima coughed awkwardly, gaining all of their attentions.

“Me too,” Bakugou jumped up and followed him towards the elevator.

“Good night, guys!” Kirishima called with a wave. The girls jeered after them and Bakugou flipped them off until the elevator doors closed behind them.

They stood in silence for a while but Bakugou didn’t feel uncomfortable, he was glad to finally have a moment away from the idiotic giggles of Ashido and Hakagure and the knowing stare of Jirou.

“So uh, Kyouka, huh?” Bakugou furrowed his eye brows, what did that mean?

“…What?” He glanced at Kirishima with a blank expression.

“Nothing, I just… Uh, never mind,” Kirishima backtracked and the elevator opened. “Well, good night, dude!” He rushed over to his dorm.

“Hey, Kiri, wait!” But it was too late, Kirishima was already behind the door. Bakugou huffed and jammed his hands in his pockets, trailing his feet to his own dorm.

God damn it, how did he fuck up this time?

Kirishima had avoided him the rest of the week.

Bakugou had purposefully arrived at Sero’s dorm late for their movie night. Ashido, Sero, Kaminari, and Jirou, idiots that they were, had picked up on the tension between the two and had left the only empty space the one next to Kirishima.

It was his usual seat anyway.

But even with the ease of their usual routine, Kirishima was still doing his best to avoid him. He really couldn’t figure it out, he went over everything that happened over and over again in his mind. The teasing had been weird, sure, but he didn’t think it was enough to make Kirishima avoid him. Was he really that sensitive about their relationship? Was he disgusted by the idea of them as a couple? He had tried to stop the girls a couple times, but he hadn’t seemed angry… Awkward, but not so uncomfortable as to cut off their friendship.

He had asked about his trip home and Kirishima had seemed over joyed. He was terrible at faking so he knew it couldn’t have been anything from home that had upset him so much.

So, it was something he did.

Fuck, what did he do? How does he make up for something when he has no idea what went wrong?

He moved his legs to sit criss-cross and when his knee brushed Kirishima’s thigh, the other boy shifted until they were no longer touching.

And that, was the final straw. Bakugou, officially, was losing it.

“Kiri,” he whispered, leaning into Kirishima’s space just so he could be hear over the movie. “What the fuck- uh, I mean… fuck.” He took a deep breath to start again. He had to be calm, he was trying to apologize. “Are you upset with me or something?”

Kirishima started at him, wide eyed with an open jaw. “Wha… What, I mean, why do you say that?”

Bakugou wrung his sweaty hands together in a nervous gesture, “you’re not,” fuck he couldn’t say ‘you’re not trying to cuddle with me during the movie and I’ve tried to initiate it, but you keep pulling away and its making me sad and I don’t know why and I also don’t know why you won’t.’ He couldn’t say ‘you’ve been distant and avoiding me all week and I don’t know why and I’ve missed you.’ He couldn’t say what he was feeling and he couldn’t voice what about Kirishima he missed but damn, he had to say something.

“you’re not acting… like you usually are and I… I feel like I must have done something and I’m…sorry,” the last word he breathed out quieter than the rest. He only wanted Kirishima to hear, it was only for him.

“Oh,” Kiri’s face melted into a soft smile, “it’s fine, Bakugou, it’s me… I’m just, being,” he sighed and shook his head. “I’ll get over it.”

Bakugou grumbled at the answer. He purposefully brushed his leg against Kirishima and Kirishima moved away again.

What was he doing? Clearly Kirishima didn’t want to be near him. He bit his cheek in embarrassment and looked away.

He said it was nothing, he said it was just something he was working through, so then why was he still not acting like normal?

As far as Bakugou could see it, he had three options. 1: Leave this fuckfest of a mental headache and go the fuck to sleep. 2: Ignore Kirishima right back and just watch the movie. 3: Force Kirishima back to normal by taking on his role of the initiator for the night.

He bristled at his options.

He deiced he wasn’t a pussy and tomorrow was Saturday so if it went poorly he could just hide from this gaggle of idiots until it all blew over.

He slummed onto Kirishima’s side. He felt the redhead stiffen but he didn’t push him away. He didn’t look away from the movie and he didn’t move to wrap his arm around him. Usually, the idiot had his arm around Bakugou’s waist and was checking in on him every few minutes. Whispering what he thought about the movie and giving Bakugou a shoulder to sleep on when it got late and Bakugou passed out.

Angry, he gripped Kirishima’s arm and wrapped it around himself. Kirishima stared at him again with panicked eyes but Bakugou only frowned at him.

Kirishima stiffly looked from Bakugou to Jirou and back, “uh, I know that you… but won’t… I mean…” He sighed to steady himself, “Bakugou, if you want to… Then maybe you should sit with Jirou, I don’t mind moving.”

What? “Fucking what?”

“I just mean,” Kirishima bit is lip, “I don’t feel comfortable, like, hanging out the way we used to, now that you have a girlfriend.”

WHAT? Bakugou felt his hands shaking. His palms cackled with excess sweat he couldn’t control.

“Kirishima,” he tightened his grip around the red head’s now hardened arm, “I really need to talk to you. Now.” He pulled at Kirishima’s arm as he stood from the bed, forcing Kirishima to follow behind him as he excited the dorm.

“Hey, where are you guys going?” Kaminari called after them but Jirou and Ashido hushed him.

Bakugou pulled Kirishima down the stairs and pushed his way into the other boy’s dorm. Only once inside did he let go.

Kirishima cast his gaze to the floor and sat down on the edge of his bed. “So, what do you need to talk about?”

Bakugou huffed and sat next to him, “Kirishima, I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t know why the fuck you think that but I fucking don’t.”

“But,” Kirishima finally met his gaze, confused. “You and Jirou, you guys called each other…”

“Oh,” Bakugou ran a sweaty hand through his hair. That’s what this was about, “she just!” he breathed deep a couple times to calm himself down, he didn’t want to scream all this. “She was just taunting me. She was making fun of me because-“ he cut himself off, embarrassed.

He groaned and fell back against the bed, an arm thrown over his eyes. “Because I told her that I… liked you.”

“You liked me?” He could hear the confusion in the red head’s voice.

“Like, I like you, Kirishima.”

“Oh,” he whispered back then again, a few minutes later, “oh.”

He felt the bed shift and moved his arm to see Kirishima adjusting himself to lean over him. He watched with what he hoped were expressionless eyes, but he still felt his ears get hot.

“You like me,” Kirishima repeated, breath fanning across Bakugou’s face. He felt like if Kirishima had a tail he would be wagging it with the way he was grinning.

“Yes,” Bakugou murmured. His eyes watched Kirishima’s. He licked his lips quickly, suddenly feeling so dry, and watched as Kirishima’s eyes followed the movement.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Kirishima spoke, eyes drifting back up from Bakugou’s lips for a moment.

Bakugou reached up with his hands to grip at Kirishima’s shirt where it hung lose against him. He closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply to calm his nerves. On the outtake of his breath, he adjusted his neck slightly to get more comfortable. He opened his eyes and found Kirishima’ red eyes watching him closely. His smile was replaced with a fond expression Bakugou was embarrassed to find he liked.

Flushing red, he leaned up and brushed his nose against the bottom of Kirishima’s jaw and whispered: “okay.”

Wasting now time, Kirishima turned his head and crashed his lips to his. He kissed hard as if he was trying to convince himself this wasn’t a dream by adding pain to the kiss.

Bakugou didn’t try to soften it, he met Kirishima’s hard kiss with his own. Their teeth smashed together, nose pressed uncomfortably to each other’s faces. They broke apart and rejoined over and over. Bakugou’s hands drifted from where they fisted at Kirishima’s stomach to wrapping around Kirishima’s neck. He used this leverage to pull himself closer, press harder. Kirishima smiled against his lips, pulling away to plant light kisses all around his face. He left one arm to the side of Bakugou’s head to support himself, the other gripped at Bakugou’s hip. Calloused thumb rubbed small circles into his skin, his hand gripped him tight and pulled him ever closer. Their lips found each other’s again. Kirishima opened his mouth and when Bakugou felt his tongue on his lips he broke away.

Panting, he smiled. Tucking his face into Kirishima’s chest.

“You like me too, then?” he asked.

Kirishima laughed and he could feel the vibrations of it all around him, “I do. So, so much.”

[lopithecusfanfiction]

Take it All Away: Chapter Four

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden Rating: Mature Word Count: 4164 Alternate: AO3 Author’s Note: Whatever you do, don’t listen to Hollywood Undead: Circles while thinking about Robron’s end.

Three days later, and Robert hasn’t left the house. What Aaron’s husband has done, is cleaned the entire Mill top to bottom more than once , made multiple meals for each day, and, though Robert keeps making up excuses, Aaron knows he has been purposely sleeping on the sofa and not in their bed. Not that Robert actually looks like he’s been getting much sleep in the first place. Needless to say, Aaron is worried.

Aaron watches his husband wash the dishes from their breakfast as Aaron shucks on his jacket. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here alone?”

Robert sighs and Aaron knows he’s testing on Robert’s last patience. “I’ve already said, I’ll be fine.”

Aaron walks up to him and places a hand on Robert’s shoulder. He learned quickly to not sneak up on Robert and to always make his presence known to the man. More than once in the past few days, Robert has startled at Aaron coming up to him without Robert knowing it. He leans into Robert, one hand still on his shoulder, and kisses his cheek. He runs a quick hand through those blond locks, trying to ignore the way Robert stiffens. “If you aren’t going into work today, try to at least get some sleep in an actual bed.”

Robert is shaking his head before Aaron can even finish his statement. “I can work from home, you know?”

Aaron rubs his hand up and down Robert’s arm but Robert pulls away. It seems to not be a good day mentally for Robert and Aaron immediately feels guilty for making his husband uncomfortable. “I know you can but you haven’t, have you?”

“Does it matter?” Robert abandons the dishes, drying his hands on a tea towel and walking over to the sofa, sitting down.

Aaron joins him, speaking softly as to not upset him. “No… but if you aren’t going to, then you should get some rest, is all I’m saying. Robert,” Aaron continues. “You look exhausted.”

Robert rubs a hand down his face and suddenly the bags under his husband’s eyes seem more prominent. “Okay, fine. I’ll try.”

“In our bed?” Aaron confirms.

Robert won’t look at him. “Maybe.”

Aaron’s heart drops and he sighs. Standing, he leans over and kisses the top of Robert’s head. “Ring me if you need anything, yeah?”

Robert nods and Aaron decides to leave then only to be called back by Robert’s hesitant voice. “Aaron?” Aaron looks at him, hunched and vulnerable on the sofa. Robert looks up, meets Aaron’s eyes. “Don’t get worried but… I’ve been wondering, uh…” Robert squirms. “What’s it like to cut yourself?”

Aaron blinks at Robert, staring and feeling the automatic response of worry build in his chest significantly. His heart beats rapidly in his chest as he asks, “Why do you wanna know?”

Robert shrugs. “Just curious, that’s all.”

“Robert, you’re not-”

“No.” Robert stands, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Never. I promise. I’ve just been thinking about how you dealt with Gordon having come back that time and… well, I just…” Robert trails off and Aaron swallows thickly.

Aaron steps towards Robert. “Robert you need to tell me if you’re thinking of doing something like that.”

“I’m not!” Robert waves it away. “Forget it. Pretend I didn’t even ask.”

“I can’t just do that, Robert.”

“Look,” Robert shakes his head minutely. “I didn’t want to tell ya but I’ve been thinking about how you coped versus how I’m coping.”

Aaron resists the urge to tell Robert that he doesn’t think Robert is coping at all. “And that’s all it was?”

“Yeah.” Aaron suspects Robert is lying but he knows he isn’t going to get anywhere with him like this at the moment. Best to just leave it for later when Robert isn’t feeling so defensive.

Aaron nods slowly. “Okay.” He licks his lips, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “But I’m not answering your question, Robert. If you’re not going to do it, then it doesn’t matter, does it?” Aaron eyes Robert up and down when he doesn’t get a response. He feels the need to check Robert’s body for any bruises or cuts but there’s no way Robert will let him see him naked and he doesn’t want to push Robert over the edge. “Don’t cook tonight. I’ll pick something up from the Woolie.”

Robert nods and still doesn’t say anything. He’s no longer looking at him again and Aaron resists the urge to sigh. Aaron turns and exits The Mill, heading to work.

*~~~*

After work, Aaron heads straight to the Woolpack to order him, Liv, and Robert some food. He’s been keeping tabs on Robert throughout the day, texting him every so often and so far Robert has seemed to be okay.

From Aaron: received 17:34

At the Woolpack now. Home in a bit

From Robert: received 17:37

Okay

Aaron pockets his mobile and enters the Woolpack. His mum is behind the bar and when she spots him, she comes right over. “Hiya, Love. How are ya?”

She’s got her concerned look on, brows furrowed and lips turned down in a frown. Aaron leans down on the counter with a sigh, rubbing his face. “M’fine, Mum.”

“You look tired, Sweetheart.”

Aaron squeezes his eyes shut and uses his thumb and forefinger to rub them. “It’s been a long week.”

“Well, lucky for you it’s almost the weekend.” Chas smiles at him. “And Robert?”

Confused, Aaron asks, “What about ‘im?”

Chas shrugs, trying to act nonchalant but it only makes Aaron suspicious. “How is he?”

“Why are you asking?” Aaron leans closer, lowering his voice. “Do you know somethin’?”

“No,” she answers. “Should I?”

“No,” Aaron quickly says, straightening out. He sits down in one of the stools. “Can I order?”

“Of course, Love.” Chas takes his order and brings it to the kitchen to have it made. Aaron wonders if it is Victoria cooking or Marlon. He hopes it’s Marlon because he doesn’t think he can handle talking to her about Robert at the moment. Soon enough, his food is brought out by his mum. “Before you go, I just wanted to tell you that I did see Robert the other day and he wasn’t looking too good.”

Aaron stops short as he picks up the bag of food. “How do you mean?”

Chas rubs at her stomach, caressing the baby bump. “He just seemed pretty tired. Plus, he was wearing your clothes which I thought was odd. Especially since your trousers don’t exactly fit him.” Chas leans closer. “Sweetheart, has something happened?” She raises a finger, pointing it at Aaron in warning. “And don’t try lyin’ to me, Aaron Sugden-Dingle. There’s obviously somethin’ wrong, you both being completely knackered and all.”

Aaron sighs heavily, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you, Mum.”

“Of course you can, Love. I’m your mum. You can tell me anything.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” He gives her his best pleading eyes. “I promised Robert I wouldn’t.” Aaron then turns and leaves quickly, not giving his mum the chance to even try and convince him to spill what is going on to her. He can feel her eyes watching him the whole way.

Aaron returns home with the bag full of food and uses his foot to close the door, it banging loudly as it does. He walks into the kitchen to set everything down. That's when he realizes how quiet it is. Feeling his heart lurch, he walks to the sofa, half expecting Robert to be lying there, asleep, but the man is nowhere to be seen.

"Rob?" he calls out, looking around. There's no answer and his pulse quickens. "Robert?" Aaron turns and sprints up the stairs, worried about what Robert could have done. It's too quiet. "Robert?"

The first place he checks is their bedroom and he has to stop short when, standing there silently, is Robert. Aaron breathes out a slow sigh of relief and approaches his husband. "Robert?" he says gently, reaching out to touch but stops. He doesn't know if Robert would welcome physical contact right now.

Robert is staring down at the bed. He had laid out his clothes, the clothes he was wearing that night. They haven't been washed yet, Aaron made sure of that just in case Robert changed his mind about going to the police. Aaron had thought he had hidden them well but leave it to Robert to find them.

"I didn't know what to do with them," Robert says softly, barely even audible.

Aaron looks at him with empathy, knowing the feeling. After what Gordon had done to him, all he ever wanted to do was burn his pajamas but not knowing how. Not until he was older at least, when he could get a hold of matches better and bring his pajamas to a secluded spot in the city. He remembers being disgusted and ashamed, angry and so, so sad. He didn't want to live and just that thought alone terrifies him of what Robert might do.

He finally reaches one more time, carefully putting a hand on Robert's shoulder. "Do you want to keep them?"

Robert takes a breath and a fleeting look of pain passes over his face before he quickly masks it again. Aaron wishes he wouldn't do that, wishes Robert would trust him enough to show his emotions. Robert shakes his head and he's looking more and more pale as time goes on. "No."

"I'll take care of them. You don't have to." Aaron squeezes his shoulder, getting worried. Robert looks like he's going to be ill.

Suddenly, Robert's carefully hidden emotions crumble. His eyebrows knit together and he's trembling slightly. He's so pale that Aaron fears he might faint. "I'm going to be sick."

"Hey," Aaron pulls him away, grabs both shoulders. "Listen to me. I'll sort it. You don't have to have anything to do with it." He cups Robert's face, bringing him closer to kiss his forehead. "You leave it to me, yeah?"

Robert nods and clings to him, burying his face in Aaron's neck. They stay like that for a while, Aaron rubbing Robert's back and Robert holding on for dear life. Eventually they do pull away and Aaron looks at his husband to make sure he's going to be okay. Robert gives him a small, weak smile. "I think I'm going to go lie down on the sofa for a bit."

Aaron nods, smiles back, and lets him go. He turns to stare at the clothes that are still strewn out on the bed. It makes him angry. It makes him want to go find this Theo person and hit him over and over and over again until he's not breathing anymore. It makes his own stomach churn with nausea at the thought of what Robert must have gone through. He hates himself for not going to Robert when Robert had asked him to.

Rubbing the wetness away from his eyes, he heads downstairs. Robert's done what he said he was going to do and is lying on the sofa. He's not sleeping, just staring off into space. Aaron leaves him to it and goes to the kitchen to grab a bin liner. He then quickly makes his way back upstairs to their bedroom and starts stuffing the clothes into the bag. He's surprised when he finds himself shaking and tears streaming down his face as he does so.

When all the clothes — Robert's favorite jacket, that stupid floral print button up that Aaron has told him over and over again doesn't suit him, the jeans that are just on the side of too tight, his grey checkered boxer shorts, and even his damn black socks — are put in the bag, Aaron ties it tightly and sits down on the edge of the bed. He cries there, sobs really, for Robert, for his husband. He bawls because he wasn't there to protect one of the people he loves the most in this world. He cries because Robert had to suffer, had to go through that all alone and Aaron knows how that feels.

He squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to calm down. He's not the one who was just drugged and raped. He has to be there for Robert now, not fall apart as well. Taking a couple deep breaths and rubbing at his eyes furiously, Aaron finally stands and grabs the bag. He goes back downstairs where Robert hasn't moved, takes his jacket, and puts it on. "I'm going to bring this to the bin." Robert doesn't acknowledge him. "Mum also texted for me to come over so I'll be a few minutes. You going to be alright?"

Robert finally turns his head, looking at Aaron. "Yeah." He must notice how red Aaron's face is from crying because then he asks, "Are you okay?"

Aaron shakes his head, dismissing his question. "I'm fine." He hesitates. "Are you sure you'll be okay here for a few minutes? You weren't last time."

"I didn't plan it, Aaron."

"I know," he says quickly, quelling the situation. "I just want to make sure."

"I'll be fine. Promise." Robert turns away then and Aaron knows he won't be fine.

"Okay." He opens the door. "I'll be back in a bit." Aaron leaves then, shutting the door gently behind him.

When Aaron is out of the house, he bypasses the dustbin and instead walks straight to the Woolpack once more. His first mistake is walking through the front because Diane is there now and so is Victoria. Diane jumps on him first, having been the closest since Victoria is behind the bar. "Oh, Aaron!" He gives her a small smile as a greeting. "How's Robert doing? I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Same here and I'm starting to get a little worried about what you're doing to my brother," Victoria teases but quickly turns serious. "But really, where is he? How come he hasn't come by?"

"Uh," Aaron shifts uncomfortably on his feet, not wanting to have to lie but knowing he has to. He can feel his mum's eyes on him, watching. "He hasn't been feeling well. Got the flu or somethin'."

"Oh, poor thing," Diane comments. "I'll come by later with some soup then."

"No!" Diane and Victoria's eyebrows furrow in confusion at the same time. "I mean... he's dead tired. Been sleeping mostly. I don't think he's really up for visitors right now."

Diane makes a hand motion, as if it's no big deal. "I'll just drop it off then. Maybe sit with him while he sleeps."

"I-I can give him the soup, Diane." When Diane's confusion comes back, Aaron hurries to explain. "I really don't think he wants people visiting him. Plus, if you or Vic got sick because of him... well you know what he's like."

Diane frowns but finally relents. Aaron internally sighs in relief. "Okay, well, tell him to get better soon then."

"Same from me," Victoria says before heading back into the kitchen.

Aaron nods his acknowledgement and then hurries around the older woman, motioning with his head for his mum to follow out back. Chas gives him a suspicious look as she does so. Aaron doesn't give her time to question him about it. "Can I keep these here for a bit?" He holds up the bag in his hand with Robert's clothes in it.

Chas eyes the bag, her lips pursing. "Rubbish?"

Aaron grimaces at it. "Clothes, actually."

Chas chuckles, smile appearing on her face. "You planning on staying over? You know I would have no problem with that but-"

"They're Robert's," he interrupts and Chas' smile disappears.

"And why do you want to stash Robert's clothes here?"

He searches for words that will satisfy her though he knows his mum will see right through him. Still, he tries and can only come up with, "I just can't have them at home, Mum. Please?"

Chas stares at him, probably sees the tears already forming in Aaron's eyes, and sighs heavily. "Aaron, Love, you have to tell me what's going on."

Aaron shrugs, looking anywhere but her. "I already told you, I can't." He wipes his eyes but they keep filling with tears. "I-I can't betray Robert's trust like that. He would never forgive me."

"But you can't keep bottling it up either." She grabs his free hand and brings him over to the table, sitting him down. She sits across from him, still holding his hand. "We all know how you get when you bottle things. You need to talk to someone."

"I can talk to him." Aaron swallows around the lump in his throat. "Sort of."

"Sweetheart, look at me." He does, letting out a breath. "It's obviously not enough. Look at you, you're a mess." Chas squeezes his hand. "What's happened, Love?" Aaron shakes his head. "Have you had a row?"

He shakes his head again, looking down at his lap and taking in a deep breath. "It's worse than that."

"Did you break up?"

Again, he shakes his head. "No, but it’s bad, Mum."

Chas squeezes his hand once more. "Then tell me." She waits. "Aaron, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"He was raped," he says suddenly, the words spilling out of his mouth before he can stop himself.

"What?"

He looks up at his mum's surprised face. "Robert was raped.”

A heavy silence falls between them with Chas sitting there, looking at him in shock, and Aaron futilely wiping at his eyes. It feels like minutes before his mum finds her voice to speak again. “How?” Her voice sounds flat, as if she is trying to hide any emotions she is feeling.

Aaron sniffles and swallows. “He was at a club the other day… for work. Someone drugged him, Mum.” He lets out a small sob. “My husband was drugged, dragged to a hotel, and raped, and I wasn’t there to protect him and I don’t know how to help him.”

Chas rubs the back of his hand soothingly, keeping her face carefully neutral. “It’s going to be okay, Love.”

“How?” He pulls his hand away and stands, starting to pace. “This morning he asked me what it was like to cut myself.” Aaron stops, a few feet away from his mum. “I found him just now standing over these clothes, the clothes it happened in, and it scared me, Mum. I was terrified that Robert had done something to himself when I got home and couldn’t find him.”

“Is he really that bad off?”

Aaron looks at Chas in disbelief, as if to ask her how she could ask such a question. “He was raped, Mum. What do you think?”

“Okay… that was a bad choice of words.” His mum placates. She looks to the bag that is now lying on the floor. “Why do you have those clothes?”

Aaron wipes the tears off his cheeks, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “They’re evidence but Robert doesn’t want to go to the police. I thought he might change his mind eventually.”

“You really think that’s going to happen?”

Aaron shrugs. “I-I don’t know.” He goes and sits back down at the table, putting his head in his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. He rubs his hands through his hair before sitting up. “He begged me to go to them for Gordon and he tried so hard to get him locked up. I guess I was just hoping he would do the same.” Aaron shrugs again. “He’s not coping well, Mum. How do I help him? How do I help my husband through something like this?”

Chas grabs at his hand once more, holds it tight. “It doesn’t look like you’re coping well either, Sweetheart.”

He shakes his head, pulls away again. “It’s not about me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Chas says quickly. “How did Robert help you with Gordon?”

Aaron opens his mouth, thinks about it, and then answers. “He was just there for me. Let me talk to him, encouraged me.” He smiles, small and loving. “He was the best. He helped me so much.”

Chas smiles back at him, letting out a small breath. “Then you do the same for him.”

Aaron bites his bottom lip, looks up at his mum, and nods minutely.

*~~~*

Aaron goes home right after talking to his mum. He enters the Mill to find Robert sitting on the sofa, elbows resting on his knees and hands cupped under this chin. He’s staring off into space, lost in thought. Aaron approaches slowly. “Robert?”

Robert doesn’t react, just continues to stare forward. “You told your mum, didn't you?”  Aaron squirms. He doesn’t know how Robert has guessed what he was doing earlier but there’s no use trying to lie. Robert apparently knows him too well. Robert turns his head to look at him, lowering his hands to his thighs. “Why are you so determined to keep those clothes? I'm not going to the cops, Aaron, and I'm not going to change my mind.”

Aaron doesn’t answer him, let’s the silence drag out. He’s not really sure what to say to him. He hates seeing the hurt look in Robert’s eyes. “Are you mad at me?”

Robert stares at him for a long time before blinking and closing off his emotions from him. “No,” he says. “I knew you would tell your mum eventually.” He shakes his head, turns away. “She'll probably tell Paddy now.”

Aaron shakes his head. “I asked her not to.”

Robert rolls his eyes, stands, and wipes a hand down his face. “Because she's always been good about doing what you asked her.”

Aaron sighs, takes a step towards him. “I'm sorry, Robert, but I had to tell someone. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore.” Robert is now scrutinizing him quietly. Robert might know Aaron pretty well but Aaron knows Robert really well, too, and he knows his husband is furious with him just by how quiet Robert is being. He waits it out, waiting for Robert to say something but Robert just keeps silently staring at him, breathing carefully slow. Aaron sighs, regret and guilt filling his chest. He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know how to make any of this better. “How about I set out dinner?”

Robert shakes his head, walks past Aaron. “I don't want any.” He grabs his keys and his jacket, pulling it on. “I'm going to go for a walk.”

Aaron tries to stop him, worrying. “Robert, you need-"

“No,” Robert interrupts, going over to the door and placing a hand on the doorknob. “I-I can't be here right now, Aaron.”

Aaron panics, remembering Robert’s earlier question about hurting himself. “Robert, wait!” Robert looks back at him. “Just... don't do anything stupid.”

“I'm not going to hurt myself, Aaron,” his husband says, annoyed, before walking out. Aaron is almost surprised Robert didn’t slam the door but he’s not really that kind of bloke.

With a deep breath to try and get his own emotions under control, he sets out the food he got from the Woolpack for him and Liv. It’s not long after that, that Liv arrives home. They eat mostly in silence, Liv no doubt being able to sense something is wrong. Aaron is grateful she doesn’t ask questions. He doesn’t have the energy right now to try and dodge them. After tea, Liv goes up to her room and Aaron plants himself on the sofa, waiting for Robert’s return.

Hours go by and Aaron’s worry increases at each interval. He’s tried calling and texting Robert but he has yet to get a response back. Finally, he calls his mum. “Hello?”

“Mum? Have you seen Robert?”

“No.” He can hear her set something down, like a mug. “Why?”

“He left earlier and has been gone for hours. I’m starting to get really worried, Mum.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Love.”

“How do you know?” Aaron gets up, paces. “He could have seriously hurt himself and I can’t help him because I don’t know where he is.”

“Sweetheart-”

“No, Mum, you don’t get it. You’re not listening,” Aaron stresses. “I’ve been there, remember? I know what he’s feeling. What he’s probably thinking. An-and he just found out that I told you and- have you told Paddy?”

There’s a short pause before his mum sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry, Love.”

“Mum!” Aaron chasises. “I told you not to-”

“I know, I know but… Come on, Aaron, it’s Paddy.”

Aaron rubs a frustrated hand down his face and through his hair. “It wasn’t yours to tell. He didn’t want anyone to know!”

“Aaron-”

“I can’t do this right now,” he says, cutting her off. “I have to find my husband.” He ends the call there, grabbing for his jacket and keys, and leaving the Mill in a rush.

———————————————————————————————————–

A/N: As a matter of fact, don’t listen to Andy Grammer: Don’t Give Up on Me while thinking about Robron’s end either. Thanks for reading!

[mrsimoshen]

Winding  Down

Title: Winding Down

Link:Winding Down

Square filled: Bondage

Ship: Michael/Sam

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Bondage, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Toys, a bit of topping from the bottom I think?,

Summary: Michael won a hard case. Sam decides to fulfill his lover a wish and celebrate a little while he’s at it.

Word count: 2155

created for @spnkinkbingo​ and for @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell​, who got me into this pairing ^^

Tagging @dreamyarchangel​, @silvaxus​, @masterpieceofturkeycleverness​, @ajcza​, @blakechaos08​

Fic below the cut:

Sam grins broadly as he reads the single line text message.

We won, it says, nothing more, but to Sam, it could as well be a formally written declaration of victory.

The conviction of serial killer brothers Alistair and Azazel Roarke is something his lover has worked for tirelessly for the past year, sacrificing national holidays and uncounted weekends to make sure every single loophole they might find was plugged before he took the case to court. And that single line text tells Sam it worked. Two of the most notorious killers of the past decade are going to spend the rest of their lives behind bars, and Sam has a celebration to prepare.

Michael arrives home late that evening, having been held up by a myriad of different issues. First, the press wanted a statement, then he had to talk to several important people, who all wanted to congratulate him on his hard work, and then a few of the paralegals conspired to throw an impromptu office party that he couldn’t just leave.

His conscience is weighing heavy on him – he’s pretty sure Sam waited for him since he sent that text, and his lover has suffered enough already under Michael’s dedication to this case.

When he unlocks their front door, however, he’s not greeted by a frowning Sam or an empty house. Instead, he blinks in confusion as he steps into the hallway.

The lights are dimmed everywhere, leaving him just enough light to see by as he drops his keys and wallet and briefcase and hangs up his coat. “Sam?”

“In the living room,” comes the immediate answer, and Michael slips out of his shoes and walks further into the apartment on sock-clad feet, expecting to find his lover curled up on their sofa with a book and maybe a cup of coffee. He smiles at the mental image, already thinking about stretching out  with his head in Sam’s lap and just relaxing.

Instead, he stops dead in his tracks when he rounds the corner to the living room.

Sam started a fire in their fire place – one of the reasons they decided on this rather big house, instead of a smaller one – and his lover is lying stretched out on the shaggy rug in front of the fire. He’d obviously been reading, because he’s just lowering a book onto his chest, but that’s not what caught Michael’s eye and short-circuited his brain.

His lover is almost entirely naked, safe for a pair of black silk boxer briefs, and his tanned skin and the silk are gleaming in the firelight.

“Fuck, Sam,” Michael breathes, his brain slowly remembering what speech is. “You look amazing.”

Sam laughs, low and a little wicked. “Thank you. Come a little closer, baby, I won’t bite.”

Michael blinks, and steps closer slowly. He reaches up to pull his tie loose and unbutton his cuffs on autopilot, and when he sinks to his knees by Sam’s side, he gets pulled into a slow, deep kiss immediately.

“Congratulations,” Sam murmurs after he’s been kissed breathless, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Michael.”

Michael can’t help the smile. “Thank you, Sam.”

Sam smiles back, still with that slightly wicked tilt to it, and reaches up to pull the tie free and undo the first few buttons on Michael’s white shirt. “Sooo… I thought we’d have a little celebration, just you and me.”

Michael likes where this is going, he really does. “What did you have in mind, love?”

Sam laughs again and sinks back down onto his back, stretching out on the rug. Michael follows the line of his body, up his arms – and forgets to breathe for a second.

“Are you sure, love?”

“Never been more certain of anything else in my life, baby.” Sam smiles reassurance at his lover, his eyes calm and warm.

Michael takes a deep breath and reaches up to pick up the neat coil of soft rope. He and Sam talked about this before, and Sam hadn’t been quite comfortable with the thought of tying Michael up before he’d had some practice. Michael had been more than fine with giving him time to decide, and they’d only played with loosely binding Michael’s wrists to the headboard with his ties, wide loops he could easily slip out of. This… is a step further than that.

“What brought this on?” Michael asks, running a bit of rope through his fingers lightly. “You weren’t too keen on the idea before.”

“I had a lot of time on my hands lately,” Sam murmurs, smiling to take any accusation out of his words. “So, I watched a bit of really good porn, and then I had a long conversation with Nick, and then with Lucifer… and I may have let him tie me up for practice a little.”

Michael growls. “You let my brother and his lover tie you up?”

“Everyone was fully dressed, I promise,” Sam murmurs, still smiling. “But Nick was right, Lucifer is that good with ropes. He showed me how to do it… and I want to do this for you, baby.”

Michael melts, leaning down to kiss Sam. “You’re amazing, love.”

Sam chuckles, loosely wrapping his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “I know,” he replies playfully, leaning up to nip his lover’s lower lip. “We don’t have to do it right now, baby. I just wanted you to know that I’m fine with the idea. We can curl up and cuddle if you’re too tired.”

Michael is tired, but it’s not the physical kind of tired. He needs to recharge, and his mind is still buzzing with everything that happened today. He rests his forehead on Sam’s for a moment, closing his eyes. “Do it.”

“Yes, sir,” Sam teases with a low laugh, stroking his hands down Michael’s back. “Get rid of the suit, baby.”

Michael laughs, handing the coiled rope back to Sam and standing to shed his clothes. Usually, he’d hang them up or at least drape them over a chair, but the case is done, he is off work for the next few days, and Sam looks at him with hunger in his eyes as he strips, so he simply lets the garments fall in a heap before sinking back down onto the rug with Sam. “How do you want me, love?”

“Like this is fine,” Sam tells him, sitting up and crawling around to Michael’s back. “Give me your arms, baby.”

Michael complies, and sighs as Sam grasps each limb to tie him up, elbow to wrist. “Tell me your safeword,” his younger lover murmurs into his ear after, wrapping his arms around Michael from behind. Michael leans into him with a sigh.

“It’s pomegranate,” he murmurs, resting against Sam’s body and feeling himself relax for what feels like the first time in months. Sam’s arms around him, the warmth of the room and the low lights, the tight rope around his arms combine into a potent mix that already has his cock hardening between his legs.

“Thank you,” Sam kisses his neck softly, nipping at sensitive skin. “Now, let’s get you comfortable, yes?”

Michael hums agreement, following Sam’s gentle guidance when his lover helps him sink down onto his back. Then he groans as Sam spreads his legs apart and swallows his cock down in one go.

“Fuck, Sam!”

Sam rubs his hands over Michael’s thighs, setting a slow rhythm as he sucks his cock to full hardness. Michael pulls at his bonds once before settling in with a moan, arching up a little into Sam’s mouth. “Fuck, your mouth is incredible, Sam.”

Sam pulls off his cock with a pop and grins, bringing one hand up to keep stroking  him. “Thank you.” He licks up the shaft once. “Want to know a naughty little secret?”

“Oh,” Michael mewls, twisting a little, “yes, please.”

“So polite,” Sam teases gently, licking again. “Very well, baby.” He sits up and turns around, and then he sheds his boxer briefs and bends forward to let Michael see the glinting green jewel set into the bottom of the metal plug he’s wearing.

Michael groans, pulling at the rope again. “Fuck, Sam.”

“Been wearing this little gem for hours already,” Sam tells him, reaching back with one hand to lightly pull on the plug. He moans. “Put it in maybe half an hour after I got your text. I’m sooo sensitive by now.”

“Let me see,” Michael breathes. “Come on, love, play with it. I want to see.”

“Since you’re asking so nicely,” Sam gasps out, fingers tugging on the plug until it’s halfway out, spreading him open. Michael can see his lover picked one of the larger ones in their collection, and he yearns to touch, to play with it, make Sam mewl and moan and whine.

“Beautiful,” he tells his lover, straining to keep his head up and keep watching. Sam grins over his shoulder, pulling the plug out entirely and letting Michael watch as his hole twitches.

“Want to fuck me, Mike?” he teases, setting the plug aside to run a finger over the lube-glistening muscle.

“Fucking tease,” Michael groans, arching up. “I always want to fuck you, Sam.”

“True,” Sam laughs, turning back around and crawling up Michael’s prone form. He reaches past Michael and returns with a bottle of lube, flicking it open to slick up his fingers. “Which is why I planned ahead.”

Michael grits his teeth as Sam’s warm, slick fingers wrap around his cock, stroking and massaging him with all the skill Sam’s accumulated over the years they’ve been fucking. “Sam, please…”

“Hush, baby.” Sam leans up to kiss him. “Just a moment. Need to make sure you’re gonna slide in nice and easy, yes?”

“Yes,” Michael agrees with a moan, letting his head sink back down. He flexes his hands in his bonds, the restraints heightening his arousal even more. “Oh fuck…”

“Going to feel amazing inside me,” Sam breathes, crawling up further and positioning himself over Michael’s cock. “Ready, baby?”

“Yes!” Michael almost shouts the word, then whimpers as Sam sinks down onto him in one long, slow glide until he’s as deep as he can go. “Fuck!”

“Yeah,” Sam agrees breathlessly, resting his hands on Michael’s chest for balance as his hole flutters around Michael’s cock. He looks breathtaking, Michael thinks with the two brain cells that haven’t yet given up on thought: a flush on his cheeks, his lips full and bitten red from Sam’s own teeth, his impressive cock hard and leaking onto Michael’s belly. “So fucking full, Mike.”

“Move,” Michael pleads, “fuck, Sam, please move.”

Sam complies, rising slowly and then sinking back down. He moans, picking up his pace slowly until he’s riding Michael at the hard pace they both prefer. He angles his hips until he shouts and clenches, and Michael grins breathlessly.

“Found your prostate, love?”

“Uh-huh,” Sam breathes, keeps moving at that angle. “Feels fucking amazing.”

“You do,” Michael agrees with a moan as Sam clenches down on him, arching up into his lover. “Fuck, do that again.”

Sam grins, his lower lip between his teeth, and clenches down on Michael’s cock again, and Michael groans and twitches up again. “Close,” he warns his lover.

“Yeah,” Sam agrees, letting his head fall back. His nails dig lightly into Michael’s chest. “Come on, baby. Fill me up.”

Michael groans, pulling at his bonds again. He wants to grab Sam’s hips, hold him still to pound into him, or even better, flip them over and fuck his lover’s fluttering hole until they’re both a sweaty, exhausted mess, but he can’t, and it feels amazing.

“Sam…”

“Michael,” Sam mewls, lifting one hand from Michael’s chest to wrap around his own cock and stroke. “Please, Mike, fill me up, want to come with you.”

Michael moans at the image, rocking up into Sam. One thrust, two, three, and then he’s arching up and coming with a shout. He can feel Sam clench down on him, hard, and his lover painting his belly with his release.

For a long moment, they rest like that, Sam slumped forward over Michael, both of them breathing hard. Then, Sam stirs and slowly pulls himself off Michael’s cock.

“Let me free you,” he rasps, gently rolling Michael to his side. A moment later, the pressure vanishes, and Michael groans as he pulls his arms to his front. Sam helps him, and then he tugs the throw off the sofa to cover them with it, pulls him against his chest and gently massages the muscles.

Michael purrs contentment, tangling their legs. “That was great,” he finally murmurs, stroking his fingers over Sam’s arm around him.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Sam replies, just as softly. Michael smiles, and lets his eyes drift shut with a yawn.

“I love you, Sam Winchester,” he breathes, and the answering “I love you, too, Michael Milton,” warms him through and through.