#i kinda dont want to answer balance bc i just woke up n i dont have the spoons BUT ILL TRY

[rainbowtvz]

Fire and balance for the self ship Wizard101 ask game!!!

@pr0minenceburn

fire;

sal: music! and art. both listening to/looking at and making it. we've made plans to have a jam session together when we can. and I also found a nice violin that i'd love to get my hands on and i think he wants to gift it to me. and for art, he's not the best at drawing but he definitely loves watching me do so, and paint. it feels like i'm bearing my soul to him and he takes extra care of it for me when i do :3

absynthe: definitely art, food, and gardening, more so the latter two. absynthe and i are both artists so we take turns showing each other what we've drawn, but we definitely connect more over gardening and our love of food :3. she has a big green thumb and while i'm not an expert i'm pretty good at growing stuff myself. i'm always in awe at how simple and easy she makes it all look lol. and as for food, well we're both foodies and the way to someones heart is through their stomach, supposedly.

johnny: music as well as punk culture and sticking it to the man. the way we approach this has similarities as well as differences, since he's more selfish and in it for revenge, as well as just being anti-corpo in general. wheras i am more concerned about fighting for the underdog, serving justice, and the environment and the future of the planet. we get into arguments about it sometimes because of how strongly we feel about our stances.

eddie: eddie and i are practically twinsies in the things we're both passionate about, ranging from music, alt culture, nerd culture, to both being queer in the 80s. like we have so much in common that sometimes we finish each others jokes.

john: john and i are still getting to know each other and learning how to navigate our relationship but we are both extremely passionate in our own ways, just in very different directions. we both care so much about doing the right thing. the way it manifests in our words and actions couldn't be more night and day though. it makes it tough to compromise and meet each other half way but true love isn't overnight and it takes work.

balance ;

sal: sal is the introvert and down to earth go with the flow guy to me ambivert head in the clouds worrier self. where my weaknesses lie he steps in to provide strength and vice versa. of course i don't have to go it alone and neither does he because i am also dating absynthe. and while he's not, they're still good friends.

absynthe: she and i are definitely two peas in a pod! it's hard to find differences between us in a way that we balance each other out. i guess it's more her energy in general vs mine? or the way we approach and handle things. she's more shy and introverted than i am, but not exactly like sal is. sal is way more reserved and harder to open up to others. so i guess i'm sort of a bridge between them and that world since i'm an ambivert. i love being social when i am in my comfort zone, but i have to go home and recharge too. and i always know that she's my safe person. i can be around her even when i'm low on social battery.

johnny: johnny has energy for days. like he is just. so extremely extroverted. and he's an asshole. but he takes care of the social and people aspect when i can't and he barely complains about it because he knows that i need breaks from dealing with others. it's more of a snarky complaint anyway because he likes to tease me and get me riled up. it's fun for him. he fills in gaps that i have, knowingly or not, and i keep him grounded and level headed. i guess it's sort of a moirailegence (or however u spell that) in terms of what a pale relationship is from h.omestuck lol. but definitely not platonic. far from it. when he's out of line i bring him back down to earth and calm him and he does the same for me when i end up splitting. he knows he can't get this kind of care and compassion anywhere else and while things can be tumultuous between us, what we feel for each other is real and worth all the headaches, and the heart palpitations.

eddie: eddie is also extroverted! but in a fake it til you make it way. and he's so good at it. it has me in awe. he's my inspiration and muse and my safe person, my home away from home. and i'm his safe space, the keeper of all his secrets and worries, and his voice of reason. i'm also his idea guy and second opinion that he goes for when he wants to pen up a new song or bring something new to the dnd table. the relationship between us is very easy going and light hearted, which is something we both need what with everything going on in hawkins :3. no matter where he goes or what trouble he gets into he can always come back home to me, and that's only part of why he loves me.

john: john is the business man. whether it's clean or dirty. whether it's his profession, past, or how he engages in relationships. his love language is acts of devotion and domesticity. he takes care of the spiders, of the things i can't engage with without becoming squeamish or nauseated, he takes care of me when i am fatigued, in pain, and/or sick. he takes care of me when i break down and he does it without complaint, because his love is unconditional, and it is never transactional between us, at least on his end. i always feel guilty that he does so much for me without even having to ask him and try to give back as much as i can, and he tries to tell me it's not necessary but i do it anyway. my love language is acts of generosity and physical affection. so i get him gifts that make me think of him or remind me of him, whether it's bought, free, or handmade. i make sure he's taken care of as well when he needs it. whether it's learning how to patch him or massage him when he's sore and hurting, or forcing him to take a break and let me take care of him. i remind him that i'm there for him every time i kiss him or run a hand through his hair, when i hold him, when we listen to each other's heart beat. we're sort of a shaky team when it comes to matters not heart related, but we're still a team.

[nightfayre]

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one. 

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.  

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life. 

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions. 

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning. 

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head. 

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background. 

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws. 

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled. 

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again. 

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing. 

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)