#i kinda just started writing all kinds of self-indulgent things i'd been wanting to explore for a long time for a couple muses of mine

[lothcatthree]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

thank you for tagging me @forloveofcodywan (i've been wanting to do this one for a while)

under the cut so i don't plague your dash

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (i used to have >30 but i orphaned half of them bc i wrote them when i was 14 and nobody needs to see that)

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

162,724

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

star wars all day babey. i dabbled in steve x bucky from 2017-2018 ish, but star wars has had my brain in a vice grip since 2015 (i was another victim to the sequels causing a sw renaissance).

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

the right feeling - from my finnpoe days :') this is part 1 of a soulmate au series. this one has 4.7k words.

i think i was blind before i met you - steve x bucky (damn we're going way back, this is 7 years old) modern au with barista steve and college student disaster bucky. 15k words.

please stay for awhile now - finnpoe, again for the win. this is part 2 of the soulmate au series. 5.6k words.

we should just kiss like real people do - finnpoe. this is the fourth and final part of the soulmate au series. hurt/comfort, recovery, all the good stuff. 8.2k words. (i suppose we all needed the soulmate finnpoe fluff in 2016, judging by these stats).

but through it all, i will need you anyways - current codywan WIP!! fix-it fic with just an insane amount of disgustingly tooth-rotting fluff. no clone death, just good feelings. this has been ENTIRELY self-indulgent and i started it when i got initial codywan brain rot. 64k words and counting!

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh my god yes, i love comments and it puts the biggest smile on my face knowing that people took time out of their day to write something nice for my little ramblings :')

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

jesus, literally none of them. i have to do happy endings, i'm too fragile. closest would be i hate you, fuck you, please never stop looking at me which is wolfwren PWP, except they still kinda hate each other at the end. (this barely counts because i am writing a follow-up that explores more of their feelings for each other and has a happy ending)

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ALL OF THEM. idk what to tell you. probably the cheesiest ending is the dinluke modern soulmate au i just wrote - how did i ever live without you?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god. i keep things pretty vanilla and i tag very thoroughly to do my best to avoid any hurt feelings. (also i've just simply been lucky to never experience that)

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

oh fuck yeah. 2/3 of my fics are explicit. mostly m/m, one f/f and two m/m/m. we have fun over here.

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, this would break my brain. next question.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, unless it has been and they're very good about hiding it (doubt it, tho. i'd be a weird choice to steal from)

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i would love it!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but i have been thinking more and more that i would love to do this!!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

this is so hard. . i think codywan has been the one ship that has just slapped my across the face and gave me stockholm syndrome. I think about them.... All the Time. second closest would be finnpoe, judging on how many stories i wrote about them. and they just fit so well together and i adore their characters and they had so much chemistry and. (i'll stop now)

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my brain will simply not allow me to leave a WIP uncompleted. by god, it's going to happen even if i am chaining myself to my laptop and typing through tears.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

i have received many compliments about my dialogue and smut scenes flowing very naturally :) i try to make them play like a movie and have it immersive enough that a character doesn't do/say something unnatural to make the reader stop and say wait what?

16.) What are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, PLOT and ANGST. can't do it for the life of me. i work best in oneshots so i can brain vomit and move on. i have a hard time planning out fics and i deeply envy writers that can create beautiful long fics in a timely fashion. i deeply lack the patience for something like that.

as for angst, yes i can technically do it, but it pains every cell in my body. just let the sad old gay men be happy.

17.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

closest i have ever gotten is mando'a, but it's been very fun to learn!

18.) First fandom you wrote for?

oh boy. one direction (the aforementioned orphaned works).

19.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

i am cursed with "i immediately hate everything i write as soon as i release it" syndrome. recently, though, i was particularly proud of safe. warm. mine. because it was very outside of my comfort zone due to the involvement of three people and it was the first a/b/o i have written!

no pressure tags for @veelawings @apricusapollo @shy-wookiee. these are all the mutuals that write (that i know of) and haven't already been tagged (i think)! but please, anyone who i missed or who sees this and wants to chime in and tag me, please do!!!

[agentplutonium]

Fic WIPs I want to post in 2024

I wanna hold myself accountable more than anything so here's some fics/concepts I want to write in 2024. I don't know if any of them will get done we'll have to see.

1. Like Real People Do

This is kind of a cheat since I already started it, but I really want to finish this fic in 2024. It has been in progress since last September. I love it it is my child however it is time for this guy to get off of my wiplist. It's already 35 k, and we're still six (+?) chapters away from the end. If any of my wips are getting finished this one is a priority.

2. Biting the Hand That Feeds

This fic I just started last? month? something like that, but where its shorter and I like the concept there is a high chance that I will finish it. It's a Milo/Sweetheart 1920's AU that Dizz introduced me too that I am putting my own spin on. I am actually in love with the concept and I wanna see if I can get that whole "can't be together but like fuck do I care" vibe down since this is the first time that I'm properly writing it ^^

3. Milo/Sweetheart Mafia AU

This one is another one that is probably (hopefully) going to be done sooner rather than later. Veau actually handed me this concept attached to Copacabana (at Copa) by Barry Manilow and I am so excited to play with it. The song in general fascinates me, I liked it before now but I listened again a few nights ago while we were talking about it and really listened to the lyrics and it has such a fascinating story it tells. I haven't picked out the themes I would be writing JUST yet (I just started developing it on the 24th) but there's probably gonna be something there.

4. My Tank fic that is based on songs from Stick Seasons (We'll All Be Here Forever) by Noah Kahn

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but the concept fascinates me. Ever since that album came out I have never been able to detach it from Tank no matter how hard I try. So, the natural response is to write a fic until I hate myself (/lh/j). It would revolve around the relationship that Tank & Milo/Sweetheart would have before, during, and after Quinncident/Darlin moving away. This one has themes of different connections on person can have, and how those connections can age as someone grows up and changes, and what its like to navigate someone returning after so long and changing so much.

5. My SpiderSneaks AU

this is just me indulging in my other hyper-fixations. In this fic, I'd be taking the plot of The Amazing Spider-Man and twisting it to fit into Milo/Sweetheart. I forget what other details I have, but it's a concept I've been sitting on for a while. I'm just obsessed with spiderman guys that's really the only reason this exists. However I would love to write out themes of the struggle between purpose and love/happiness. I feel like that's a fitting thing to imbed into a spiderman au that doubles as a milo/sweetheart fic. The two of them are easily put into that "must do good" role, and their relationship seems to balance that out a little bit, but I kinda want to play with it in regards to Sweetheart.

6. The Milo/Sweetheart intimacy fic. (the one talked about in this post. )

This kinda ties into me pushing my aspec!Sweetheart agenda, but the idea of writing a fic that shows the intimacy and love these two share without defaulting to a sexual encounter is so fascinating to me. I would put SO MUCH into that fic guys you don't understand. I need it. It's not even "oh this would be cool to write" its "I NEED to write this to satiate my soul."

I do have other wips I want to work on but they're smaller and will probably act as buffers between the bigger ones. I hope I can get most of them done, especially the unfinished fics because I hate having unfinished projects. However there are themes I would love to explore in the not started ones that might convince me to start writing it ^^

[tcmpcral]

also i kinda wanted to share this bit of writing orz

With a sigh, he picks up his teacup and responds, "I suppose we ought to, else they might become irritated," with as much disdainful resignation as he can manage, all too aware that the gods of Universe Seven are far from the only ones to be irritated with his infamous reclusiveness, and not altogether mildly, at that. Then, lowly, just before taking a sip, "Wouldn't want that."

[tablestoastandtime]

I've been thinking a lot about the kinda of stories I like to tell, and the things that are important to me, and the ideas that I like exploring, so I'm gonna rant about those for a bit. if you actually follow my big WIP Take It Back Now Y'all, I guess this could sort of count as spoilers. also i might talk about the process of writing some of my other stuff and one-shots

if i had to wrap up the concept that's rattling around in my head that compels me to write more often than not, i think i'd say its the Irreversible. which is ironic, as a guy writing a time travel fix-it fic, as a guy with a soft spot for fix-its in general. but i think part of why i like the trope is <i>because</i> despite the fix there are still Effects? despite the Big Problem being solved, that doesn't actually make everything okay, that doesn't actually heal everyone, it doesn't <i>actually</i> make everything better

because some choices, some actions, some experiences are inescapable. Something Has Happened, and now all you can do is live with it. Something Has Happened, and you can fight it and try to change it, but even if you succeed it will still have happened and you'll always know what it was like. Something Has Happened, and now you aren't the person you used to be, now you're something you never wanted to be but you've forgotten how to be anything else. Something Has Happened, and you can forgive but you can never forget even if you want to more than anything. Something Has Happened And Now

its denoument and the end of the hero's journey and its what if there was never a way out at all? the plot might be over but you can't escape the story even when its done with you and you're long done with it. its why i love the structure of tragedies

but its also related to why i'm kind of bad at writing them. because you don't get to stop just because its happened. you don't get to stop just because you're terrified and alone and mourning. the world doesn't end just because yours did. i like protagonists that fight the dark, that believe in helping people and collaboration, and not only want the best for others but are willing to actively pursue it. its wish fulfillment, to some extent. give someone pain and watch them turn it into foundations, lessons, stardust. its a magic trick that i can't quite look away from

and yet, the tragedy

pain that never ends, a loss that cannot be replaced, grief like a pocket sealed shut with gum. the tragedy has to happen, for the magic trick to work. i don't know how to build hope without the framework of despair.

i've never pretended that my writing isn't often me dealing with some idea or feeling i want to wriggle my way through. i don't exactly talk about it because its rarely relevant to the explicit contents of my work, but its almost always there. my first Tim Drake story, Bird is the Word, was both an exploration of an element of canon i found interesting, and also me trying to practice the kind of empathy where you see why people could choose to say or believe things about you that hurt. the counterbalance to that was the idea of someone that really knows and trusts you.

the follow-up, Takes A Lot of Time, is incredibly self-indulgent for all that i pretended i wrote it because people asked. to cut out what the internet doesn't need to know, i have an older brother who hurt me very badly. we both know it. he apologized, once, when we'd both been drinking and i don't really remember it and now we don't talk about it. sometimes i want him to explain why he did what he did and tell me he's sorry for hurting me so much i could scream. i wrote an older brother that did exactly that.

hell, the D:BH fic that i started and that has been collecting dust for years now was fundamentally about me wrestling with my own moral code and how i saw myself in relation to it and the people around me. most of my writing is as much about me as it is about anything else.

which leaves me wondering sometimes, what is it exactly that i think is What Happened and how <i>am</i> i going about living with it. am i a tragedy that i'm writing like a fix-it? or is it the other way around?

just to be clear, obviously people aren't stories and no one's life is a narrative because that's not how the world works, but they are useful tools and lenses and i'm not exactly good with my hands so i've kind of gotta take what i can get, y'know?

[lethesomething]

A writer tag thing

I was tagged by @tottwritesfanfic and it’s an excuse to talk about fanfic. Let's do this!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

Uh. Um. Since I am an Old, this username has existed since forever, and acquiring it involved a goth themed IRC chat room and some virtual naked table dancing. The Lethe refers to the River of Oblivion in ancient Greek Underworld mythology, because again, I was Very Goth at the time. I'd… I'ma leave it at that.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

That'll be Chocolate Hearts. It's not the one with the most hits, because it's not porn, but it's getting there, considering it was only posted in August. That whole fic was such an incredible experience, because I was getting daily feedback from people as I was writing publishing it.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It's Shimizu Kiyoko, because I still mostly write Haikyuu, and because she's awesome (and I, too, wish to be awesome).

Let’s put a cut here because this is Long.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I'd rather not name names, but I met at least one of my friends through AO3 comments. There's also a commenter whose style I liked so much that I started copying it for comments on other people's work. I absolutely notice when people drop by regularly, and I love every one of those people. I try to follow them back. There are few feelings more rewarding to me as a writer than seeing someone like one of my stories, and then go through the other ones I wrote for that fandom.

 5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I don't regularly re-read fics, because I have enough trouble keeping up with fiction I feel like I *should* be reading. In that sense, the ones I keep going back to are the long ones I'm subscribed to. Bell, book and candle is my go-to plane fic for when I'm travelling, for instance. It's a 1k page pdf on my phone and I try to go back and comment on the chapters I finished when I get to a computer (or like three months later, most likely).

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

*Opens statistics page* I don't so much subscribe to stories, as I do to people. And I'm apparently subscribed to 22 people. I have 33 bookmarks, but that's mostly because sometimes I'll go back through my history and bookmarks stuff that I still like a few months later.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Urban fantasy. That seems to be the AU where my mind goes into every single direction and comes back with 60k worth of words every time. Also, a disproportionate amount of characters in my fics end up being bakers or baristas. So, uh, make of that what you will.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Um, I have 36 user subscriptions. 299 bookmarks. And 117 subscriptions to various fics.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Well, there's always stuff you come up with that maybe shouldn't be put to paper. When it comes to very self-indulgent, or very smutty, I try to stay my hand. I struggled a long time with whether or not I should publish any smut at all, because I don't want like… my colleagues to find it. What I ended up with, was several fail safes, and the promise to myself that I would only write… acceptable smut (so no werewolf orgies for you! not that I, uh, would write them otherwise).

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

So, uh, the very specific reason I started writing smut at all, was because that is the hardest thing to do. For me. Sex is, a lot of the time, awkward and funny and feely and there's a lot of emotions and actions going on, and I very specifically do not want to write lifeless mechanical porn sex. Because that's not what I'm here for. But that's difficult. I write to have the kind of stuff I want to Read, and I'm very friggin picky when it comes to smut, so it takes me longer to write 1k of smut than it does to write 20k of teen rated fluff. I wish I was better on that front.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

It's a mixed bag. I'm pretty sure me and @leeva-art  are the pioneers of all ShinToko content. And I did that whole SugaTen one. Looking through the list, I actually did a fair amount of rarepair shorts. I kinda like writing rarepairs because there's a lot more of the dynamic for me to explore.  But I'm currently writing a series full of popular ships (YamaYachi, DaiSuga, KageHina, IwaOi), because sometimes, those are popular for a reason. To be honest, I think the ship I write most is 'x reader', and I'm fairly certain that's an under-reported popular ship.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

I have 21 works on AO3 in total. All of those are finished one-shots or multichapters, except the one I'm currently working on. Yes, I'm proud of this :P.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Oh god. So apart from the current multichapter one I have… one longish romance story that's been gathering dust for two years (The Aomine. I swear I will finish it one day), and… about four smut shorts in various states of unfinished-ness. And an Aizawa short that is like smut in the sense that it's a lot of action and feels and I'm Struggling.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I do both. I'm a bit of a daydreamer, so I like to play ideas and scenarios in my head for a while, and then I jot them down when they've grown enough. But I'm also a talker, and anyone who has chatted with me for any length of time probably knows that an Idea can take root in a convo and I basically talk it out and two months later there's a massive fic brewing. My brain is an overexcited puppy.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Nope. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just not sure how that would work practically.

16. How did you discover AO3?

It's all Rin's fault. I pretty much only got into fanfic after watching Free! and discovering the joys of tumblr. Fairly certain I discovered AO3 while looking for Quality SouRin.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Ahahahaha…no.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

That would be weird? I'm not Lady Gaga.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I've been writing since I was a little girl. So the first stories I wrote were probably inspired by that one teacher I had when I was eight, that kept saying I was good at this. But I remember in my teens, wanting to write like Anthony Horowitz, and later like Terry Prattchett, or Douglas Adams. As for writing fanfic, that is the fault of Aleramicci and A Shadow so Great. That was the first time I saw someone take that level of world building and lore creation and character development, and spin it into this… epic tale. Because I have always imagined scenarios and characters in my day dreams, I was creating alternate endings for the Three Musketeers at 13, but I didn't think anyone else was willing to read them. I thought fanfic was, well, smut. And she showed me that you can create worlds out of nearly nothing (please remember that 2014 League of Legends Lore was total shit), and do it Well, and write it well, and… ugh.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Ok, where's that meme. I think the main thing is… just do it. You've got stories, you write them. But know that it is work. Like every hobby, it takes time, it takes energy and effort. You need to Make that Time. Very few people can sit down and just have the words flow out of their fingers. For most, it's Work. Once you know that, and you make the conscious decision to do the work, you can get shit done.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I try to plot up to a certain level but I leave room for a lot of improv. Like especially for longer fics, I'll have a vague idea of where the characters end up and what needs to happen for the finale to… happen. The actual scenes aren't plotted though. I write better when I just let the scene take me where it wants to go. I've learned a lot from the Lock, the Key and the Sacrifice, in that it was my first Very Long multichaptered fic and it was Mostly Improvised. This meant that some character development got lost, and that I had to write myself out of some weird situations but also, some of the best scenes in that fic are complete bursts of random inspiration. Since then, I've gotten a bit more organized. I use OneNote to jot down 'spur of the moment' scenes to slot into stories later, and to make time lines and character profiles and all that. The actual fic is still me opening the Word doc and going 'ok, it's day six in this story, what should happen today'.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

I don't think so? AO3 readers are very nice and disciplined, I think. Either that or I've been very lucky. All I've gotten were a few comments that left me flustered, mostly along the lines of 'when are you updating', when I keep a very tight schedule. That sort of thing. I just leave those be.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

See above: smut.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Currently, My Girlfriend is a Goddess?!, which is a fantasy exchange gift that ballooned into a very long, multichapter and possibly trilogy book type thing.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

The Plan is to finish book one of My Girlfriend is a Goddess?! (the YamaYachi, aka the actual exchange gift), then take a break for some one-shots and whatnot, and then continue to book two (the DaiSuga one). So yes, I do try to stay somewhat disciplined. This isn't to say that inspiration can't strike like a vengeful god and I have to rearrange the whole thing. Chocolate Hearts happened while I was trying to work on the TenSuga, and it got written in like a month of furious typing. Shit just happens, man.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

No. I have a very unstable work schedule, and sometimes I'm just tired. I try to get certain chapters finished on a weekly basis though. I learned with NaNo that when I try to write too much in one go, the output is also not that great. I need to write, and then do a whole bunch of editing, and then write again.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Things are certainly going smoother now than they did two years ago. It's a certain… confidence? I think? A rhythm you get into. I got wordier, too. Not sure if that's a good thing.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

This is hard. That is a hard question. For the longest time, my fave story was Balance. But if I read it now, it does show its age. So I'm going to say The lock, the key and the sacrifice. I will always be super proud of that, because that's my first and currently only 'book' and I worked a year and a half on it. Not every part of it is amazing, but there's some Pretty Good Parts and I just felt such an immense relief and… satisfaction on finishing it.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

One of the first things I published was an Iwaizumi smut short. It's… ok, but it has some issues that I would iron out if I were to write it again.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

When I was little I had this Plan to write a bestseller and sell it to Hollywood and then buy a castle in Scotland and basically be JK Rowling, but I sincerely doubt that's going to happen. Goals, tho.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Coming up with random shit that blossoms into big, huge ideas and worlds and complicated plot lines. Like… that happens without me trying.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

The bit where you sit down to write through a part you've been struggling with. Those few paragraphs that you need to connect scene A and scene B, for it to make logical sense.

33. Why do you write?

Because I like it. Because I enjoy building worlds and scenes and characters, and sharing them. Because like all kinds of creative work, it has gained me relationships and connections to people I resonate with. Also, ngl, for the kudos and the comments. I get a lot of joy from seeing people enjoying my work.

 The tagging part. Um, I dunno if @skittidyne has done this one yet.  Also the usual suspects: @bsinoranges, @haruhi02 and @thekuroiookami   Consider it a subtle nudge if anyone else wants to do this.