#i knew immediately it wouldnt be real so i paused and went to drink a glass of water in order to live in delusion

[mrgaretcarter]

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

hi💕 did you get my ask yesterday? anyway it’s okay if you didn’t, i just got another idea because i’m feeling shitty today, what about chris and you liking each other but you don’t want to say anything because you don’t feel worthy of him so when he insinuates you just dismiss him and he thinks you don’t like him like super angsty but happy ending?

This one was fun, I hope I got that bit of angsty feel to it, while keeping it light hearted. If he ever told me he had feelings for me, I would be all adkfjakldfjqier HOT MESS. Lol. If you like this kind of theme, @jtargaryen18 has a great chapter one with this feel called Jealous Guy with Chris x Reader. Its so good! 

You looked at Chris as you popped open his fridge, and stuck your head in. “Buddy, if you are out of beer before this bbq even begins, can we even call it a bbq?” Straightening and looking at the thread bare shelves, you arch a brow. Did he even eat?

“Its out in the garage Y/N, trust me I know better then not to have beer.” He rolls his eyes at you, making burger patties and setting them on a platter, a splash of Worcester sauce, salt, pepper. Yea good enough. You make your way to the garage through the kitchens side door and grab two bottles. Okay, thats better. He had a full fridge in the garage, as well as the extras to bring out into the back yard when they go to set up.

Going back in, you make sure the door is firmly shut, outside was sweltering already, and you considered the idea that you all maybe should have extra ice on hand. “Yes I got plenty of ice to” Chris says with a grin as he rips off some saran wrap and covers the burgers before handing you the platter to place into his fridge.

“I promise, I only asked you here to hang out. I got all the rest covered." Chris moved to wash his hands and you hip check the fridge shut.

"Okay! Okay! I give! I'm here.... Only as a guest...."

He paused, knowing it was coming.

".... Who feels like she should help you get ready."

That earned you a hand towel being chucked at you, the two of you laughing as you both headed out to his patio, calling Dodger to join you two, and Chris snagged his sunglasses while waiting for his pup to join you two.

The two of you has been best friends for many years, it was an easy going, no expectation kinda deal. There we're times, you wanted to take it further, you knew those little over the top things he did privately for his girlfriend's, after all you had helped him brainstorm a few of them. But they were never for you, always the best friend, you weren't complaining. You valued this, but you wondered what it could have been like.

You were out of his league anyways, you knew that, he knew that. Life is what it is. These were your thoughts on the subject.

But the past year he pulled back from that scene. Seemed to focus on himself, what he wanted to accomplish after his Marvel stint. You had asked him a couple times if he was seeing anyone. Chris would just kind of shrug, become elusive in his answers. "He, I'm to busy"

Somehow you would never catch his glance your way when you would go back to what you were doing. He was not to busy, he was conflicted.

You were his best friend. He didn't want to ruin one of his most valued relationships by asking for more. Even if it could be the best thing in his life.

"When's everyone supposed to get here?" You ask, as you move over to sit on the edge of his in ground pool. Kicking off your flip flops and lowering to dip your toes in, and sinking your leg in as you sat down, careful with the glass bottle. He loped over next to you, already barefoot, he lowered next to you and took a drag before he set it next to yours.

"Couple hours yet, although Scott and Zach will probably be by sooner."

"They are so damn cute" you remarked, having just met Scotts boyfriend a few weeks ago when you were invited to a party they were throwing

Chris chuckled softly, watching Dodger on the other side of the pool, rubbing himself in the freshly cut grass, staining his white fur green. "They really are, and Scotts so happy, probably the happiest ive seen him in a long time." You picked up on that wistful note, glancing over at him and let your shoulder nudge him. "Did I just hear a note of longing Christopher, Mr. I like being a bachelor?"

You were only teasing, but he looked thoughtful at you, blue eyes scanning over your face, and you felt that all familiar tingle flushing the tops of your cheeks. Damn it y/n, check yourself woman.

"Well maybe, yea. I would like something more then the occasional fling, and just sex. But I'm not sure she be interested in me like that. We've never discussed it, and shes never necessarily hinted in more then what we got."

You, so completely not picking up on what he was really saying, cause in your mind, he couldn't ever be into you. "Well doofus, you have to tell her. Come on, your a catch Chris. Any woman would be happy with you, and with luck, she will make you happy to." You tipped back your bottle, the icy cold beer tingling your lips in that delicious way, your tongue would swipe along your bottom lip, Chris trying to keep himself from getting to distracted.

Playing with the neck of his bottle, he sloshed it a bit, and then set it aside before taking a drink from it. “Okay, I will. Y/N, what do you say, would you like to go out on a date with me?” You just about choked on your beer, sputtering and he reached over to tap his hand against your back. “Jesus Christ woman, breath!”

“You-you want to go out, with me? why in the world would you want to...?” Your voice drifted off, and Chris arched his brows, reaching out to take your hand, which you let him. Still shocked at his question.

“Really Y/N? You cant really be questioning why? Ive known you for years. We have fun together, you already know about all the risks that come to dating me. Youve never, wondered about what it would be like for us? Cause I have many times.”

“Well yea Chris, I mean... ive noticed, dont get me wrong. But im me... your you, it just...” You gave a shrug, not really wanting to say those words. Chris tilted his head, blue eyes searching for what you werent exactly spitting out, and shook his head.

“I dont get what you mean Y/N, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Come on Chris”pulling back your hand, you splashed your leg a bit while drawing it out, and wrapping your arm around it as you bent it, watching the water run down to the tips of your toes, suddenly they were fascinating, you could really just watch those droplets race away all day then to answer Chris’s question. But he wasnt backing down, and you could feel his incredibly blue in the sunshine, im innocent but also know what Im doing to you babes, eyes fucking staring at you. “You are so out of my league, Ive seen the woman youve dated in the past.”

Taken aback, his brows furrowed in frustration. “Thats bullshit Y/N, you think I would think anyone wouldnt deserve me cause I happen to make movies?” He went silent, contemplating what he wanted to say next. The fact that you felt that way about yourself just proved that he was going to have to show you how incredible you were. “Just a chance Y/N, if you have any feelings for me. Its all I ask for.” Turning back to you, he dipped his head to hover near yours.

Waiting for you to give an answer, your heart race cause he was that close. You could feel the soft breaths of air coming from his soft breaths and your eyes darted to those full lips, making your own throb with wanting to brush against them. But hes your friend, your mind screams and then a soft whisper. But he can be so much more.

It was all interrupted when Scott called from inside the house, and you pulled away, scooting back and moving to a stand, grabbing the emptied beer bottles. It was an excuse to get away from what you actually wanted to say. “Let me grab us another!” Racing away to go greet Scott, Chris lets his head falls into his hands, groaning. I was so close, and scared you away.

Scott busted through the door to find Chris pulling himself to a stand, catching the drawn look he had, he tilted his head “Out with it, I know that look, and thats the one you use when something is bugging you.”

“Nothing is wrong Scott” Chris lied, Dodger promptly coming over to greet his “uncle”, in which Scott immediately ruffled his ears. Not to be distracted though, he gave another spill it motion.

“Okay, if you MUST know Scott, I might have told Y/N I had feelings for her.”

Scotts eyes widened, and he grinned. “Well its about damn time Chris! You two have been dancing around each other for a year. Even Zach said we should just push you two together to kiss.”

“Yea well, it didnt go as I hoped.” His hand went up to the back of his neck, rubbing it. “She feels shes not in the same league? How is that even a worry.”

Scott shrugged and loped his arm over his brothers shoulder. “Hey, shes probably just nervous and caught her by surprise. Talk to her again after the party, and relax bro. Trust in your gut.” Chris wrinkled his brow as he listened to Scott, he made some good points. It was unexpected after all. He had certainly never hinted it before at you that he had any real interests. “Come on, let go see what those two are up to and finish setting up.”

Inside, you and Zach were dicing up some fruit they had brought for a fruit salad, having avoided bringing Chris that second beer, and Chris didnt remark on it once they came back inside. He smiled over at you and you glanced down right quick, moving to drop the strawberries in. Was it going to be awkward? Fuck you hoped not. But to your relief, there was no change. Everyone fell into an easy chatter, Chris went and started his grill, and before you all knew it, the party was underway with people showing up, bringing more food, games were played and most likely to much beer got consumed.

The evening started winding down, and you bid your goodbyes, touching Chris’s arm “So im going to head out, it was a great time, dont forget to drink some water before bed though. You will wake up with a headache.” A frown plays on his lips.

“Wait, your really leaving? I thought we could talk.” His eyes flashed hopeful at you, and honestly right now it was all more then you wanted to get into.

“Yea, I got an early morning and stuff I need to take care of.” White lies werent harmful, right?

“How about I come over tomorrow then?” He was still trying, one thing about Chris, once he set his mind to something, he rarely backed down.

“Text you, I promise!” You say a bit overly cheerfully and dart out the door, leaving him on his own once more. Digging out your keys, you escape to your car and pull out of his drive. Driving around, you ended up going nowhere near home, instead you drove around, trying to process your thoughts.

Why couldnt you Y/N? Dont you deserve some kind of happiness and youve always been attracted to him. Just always putting yourself down, you did that with your ex to. Here Chris was saying he had feelings beyond just friends and you ducked out the door before telling him that you might have as well for years.

This was how it went for a couple hours, getting dark you turned on your head lights, and before you realized where you were, your car pulled into Chris’s driveway, tapping your fingers on the wheel. His lights were still on, but everyones cars were gone. Were you really going to do this? Yes... Yes you are. Y/N, you have someone who wants to see if you two are meant to be something more, someone you actually care for as well. Stop holding back.

Going up the front steps, you consider letting yourself in, but you simply knock instead, twisting your fingers together. Dodgers bark emits, and you can hear Chris on the other side. “Hush boy, its okay. Back up buddy.” And then the click, he opened his door and a quirk of a smile folds up the corner of his mouth. “Hey.... “ You take a deep breath and step up to him, grasping his face in your hands, and sweep up to your toes to reach him. Why he have to be ridiculously tall? The sharp taste of beer and him flooded your senses, and his arm tilted around to brace you in close, holding back enough so you could control this kiss, it was yours, and he wasnt about to scare you off again.

Pulling back, you smooth your hands down to his shoulders, clearing your throat. “First of all, Chris you know I dont want to loose our friendship, second I want to see how good we could be. And third...”

Suddenly Scott appeared in the background, grinning wide. Apparently he didnt leave. “ITS ABOUT TIME YOU TWO!!!”

Cats out of the bag, you and Chris were going to see where this would go.

[noobfics-btsblog]

Rain

Pairing- min yoongi & reader

genre-fluff (in my opinion)

a/n- this is an excerpt of a fanfic im currently working on. i posted this to showcase my writing in hopes people would be interested in seeing the whole story in the future.

also, still working on the title

...I didnt know why i was so nervous, we were just friends after all. at least thats what i try to convince myself of, but in the back of my mind i knew the truth. im not sure how it happened-well, thats not true either-, i knew exactly when my feelings shifted from a place of pure lust...to something...a bit more. 

it was some time last year. i was on my way out of the office and i noticed through the glass doors that it was raining outside. i knew it was on the forecast and i did have an umbrella, but i forgot it back in my studio. as i turned to retrieve my forgotten umbrella, i noticed something else- some one else- HER. She was leaning against the wall looking up at the sky, occasionally taking sips from the coffee she was holding, and...she was completely drenched. I walked over to the door not believing what i was seeing. why was she just standing there? i called out to her twice (barely poking my head out through the door) before she stirred from whatever deep thought she was in.

 “what are you doing?”

“oh sorry sir! Did you need something?”. at that time she had only been working with us for a few months and i was the only one she still called “sir” or “Mr.” mostly because i never gave her the ok to refer to me otherwise..call it a kink i guess. At that time she had been assigned to be a sort of personal assistant to me, and her being the professional she was, was concerned i might have been roaming around the building looking for her.

“No you idiot! What are you doing out here?”. she was younger than me by a year and i had gotten used to talking to her the way i talk to the rest of my dongsaengs and, also like the rest of my dongsaengs, she got on my nerves sometimes.

“um..just..enjoying the rain...” her eyes darted around her for a second before looking back at me.  As if it was so obvious and i was the stupid one for asking. i rolled my eyes and with a frustrated sigh i jogged over to her. she was a bit a ways from the entrance of the building so as i approached she she had a chance to return to her previous activity: leaning against the wall and contemplate the sky. i leaned on my shoulder against the wall next to her. i had my hands stuffed in my pockets and i coward and winced with each drop of water that hit me. 

“what i meant was: WHY are you out here? Normal people usually “enjoy” the rain without actually being in it”. she smiled and answered without looking at me,

“you dont like the rain?”

“i dont like getting wet” i answered very matter of fact, “i dont mind the rain itself..its just water after all. but no, i dont enjoy being cold and wet like you seem to”. she didnt answer right away, so i followed her gaze. it was raining pretty intensely, it was like someone had turned on the shower head over the city of Seoul. but the sky she was so interested in was typical of a rainy day: thick grey clouds and nothing else. when she spoke again i jumped a little.

“The rain gets a bad rap sometimes doesnt it?” it wasnt really a question for me so i stayed silent and let her continue. “it floods, seeps into buildings, and when the right things come together perfectly...you get a storm...leaving destruction and chaos...destruction.” I remember she spoke low and slow, that was the longest she had ever spoken to me, and she had my full attention as i stared down at her. “and during those times, we forget that it also brings life. its because the destruction is in your face..you can see evidence of it immediately. but todays rain might be growing next months grass, trees, or flowers. maybe a puddle today helps relive the thirst of a few stray animals. maybe it fills drought threatened lakes and rivers. we need the rain.” Then and now, what she said reminded me of that one saying that goes something like: people only notice your mistakes. i reflect on that from time to time..

“ that still doesnt answer why youre willingly getting caught in the rain.” she smiled and ticked her eyes at me.

“i like it” she shrugged “people sun bathe all the time...just to feel the rays of the sun..i want to FEEL the rain.” 

“its wet.. what else is there?” i was in fact interested. i had spent the last few months trying to figure her out and it was my first opportunity to find out what goes on in her mind..

“its not just the physical feeling..” she was annoyed then her usual tone with me..

“youve heard the saying ‘the calm before the storm’ its a real thing. the clouds start rolling in..they start thick and plush..and i dont really know how to describe it...its like world goes quiet. even when youre driving in it things seem more relaxed and quiet. and the smell..much better than the pollution and dust and whatever else we breath in all day long. but my favorite part is when it actually starts raining..” her words trailed off for moment “whats that thing called in music that helps keep the tempo?” i wasnt sure if she was really asking me or just talking to herself at that point. at that moment i wasnt sure if she even knew i was still there, but i answered anyway.

“metronome” she smiled at me

“metronome...thats what the rain sounds like. Did you know its sometimes used to hypnotize people- the metronome i mean- its supposed to help you concentrate on a particular rhythm and put you in like a sort of trance i guess. rain is like that.each drop of rain that falls against the concrete, or your window, or peoples umbrellas is like natures metronome putting you in a trance and clearing your mind of all the constant inner chatter.” her eyes had started to fade, growing distant, the way people do when they were thinking. in her case she was reliving a memory..

“there’s a powerful thing about sound and smells too that can bring up things in your mind you thought were left forgotten. like every time it rains and im in that “trance stage” i cant help but relive stuff from when i was young and-”

“you’re still young” i cut her off; she was only 23. she gave me a look

“when i was youngER” she corrected, “i guess what i mean is that feeling of being free. like when you're a child and you run around jumping in the puddles. getting muddy and dirty even though you knew your mom would get mad. you didn’t care because you were young and having fun.” she began to chuckle “and really anything can happen in the rain..and again sure, tragedy, like a car crash or whatever. but also a lot of wonderful moments...i mean thats why they put romantic rain scenes in movies right?” her eyes flashed me a glance..i swallowed. “and those scenes with teenagers sneaking out and getting into trouble and making bad decisions- actually there was this one time a few of us snuck into this apartment complex to hang out by the pool. it was a summer night and we were off school and we had a bunch of beer- one of my friends had a fake ID- and we just needed a place to drink where we wouldnt get caught and a friend suggested these old apartment complex he used to live in since he knew security was..well not good. anyway as the night went on, that ‘about to rain’ smell started to grown and all of a sudden it was pouring.” she smiled as her eyes started to grow distant, lost in the memory. “we all laughed and then one by one we started to jump into the pool fully clothed” she started to laugh again as was coming out of that memory. ”i think that was one of the best times i had with that group of friends. its like the rain had washed away all the..front..you know what i mean? like they each had their persona. what they want you to think they are like. always trying to pretend like they were something else. but when that rain came it washed away all the bullshit..sorry..” she flashed a worried glance at me and i waved it off. “anyway its like they were finally able to be themselves and just have fun instead of trying to act cool all the time. and the rest of the night we just had a ton of laughs and good conversation.”  she paused for a moment and i waited patiently as i myself was taking in everything she had said. “i guess all i mean is, to me, rain is more than just water from the sky. its not just weather. its life. its beauty and growth and smiles and laughter. some bad times, some good times..and some good con..versations..” she had turned to look at me as she pronounced that last word, letting her voice fall to nearly a whisper. She looked..surprised...and she had stiffened. She looked guarded as she held her coffee tight with both hands. At first i couldnt figure out what had caused her sudden change in attitude. Then her eyes flicked between my eyes and...i wasnt sure what..something lower on my face? my lips? why was she looking at my lips?

That’s when she let out a staggered breath and the smell of her coffee hit me. i was suddenly aware of how close to her face i was. I’m not sure when, but at some point, i had begun to lean into her as she had me mesmerized. i swallowed hard, blinked a few times, and straightened myself out turning away from her awkwardly- but not before i caught a glimpse of her blushing, looking down at her coffee smiling.  I couldn’t bring myself to do much else other than stand there fidgeting with my earring. After what seemed like the longest 2 seconds of my life passed, it was her who broke the silence.

“um..anyway, what are you doing out here sir?”. I turned to look at her, then down at myself, and i sighed as i let my head and shoulders drop. i hadn’t noticed until now, but i was as soaked as she was. i had a thin, black, long sleeve shirt that was clinging on to my skin and my jeans felt heavy with all the water they had soaked up. i went to rub my hair, my fringe was stuck to my forehead, it felt like i just got out the shower. i laughed a bit bitterly at myself. “what, what is it?” she asked. i looked at her and grinned.

“i was actually on my way out and saw it was raining...i was going to go back and get my umbrella but...” i let my sentence end there and just shrugged. 

“oh...oohh..”As she started to realize it was her fault i didn’t need the umbrella anymore, we both started to laugh. “I’m sorry sir i didn’t mean to keep you..ugh now look at you” i waived off her worry and just shrugged again.

“it’s only a little rain. come on, I’ll walk you home.” she smiled and nodded.

I dont remember what all was said on that short walk to her place, what i do remember though was how i felt. before that moment, all i wanted to know about her was how she would feel when i touched her, what her lips would feel like against mine, i wanted to explore all her body had to offer. But suddenly things were different now. As we walked along-and in between catching the other starring- i started to think differently. i wanted to know more about her. i wanted to explore her MIND. This person who i always called dumb or an idiot actually had me wanting to know more. What did she think about music? would we like the same songs? Does she like MY music? And the fact that her opinion of me mattered was different in itself. I wanted to know her opinion of a lot of stuff. i wanted to know what made her mind tick. what makes her mad? what makes her sad? whats her favorite food? can i take her to eat it? what makes her happy? i hoped it could be me..