#i know i said im gonna be quiet this weekend but im vibing and have been writing today so like. yeah

[the-kipsabian]

👀👀

//lmao thanks tumblr you ruined my thing

anyways

https://www.tumblr.com/underratedandoverit

[dullahandyke]

yippee yippee yippee yippee eimear con haul!!!!

Hi. It was my birthday recently and I'm bad to shop for so instead of gifts I got money to spend at Kaizokucon. So here's a haul. Under the cut bcos I couldnt fit it nicely in one picture and I wanna ramble

ok we're gonna take it one picture at a time ^_^ the ID in the alt text explains what everything is if u just wanna see what i got without the rambling sure to come with it. links in rambling r to the artists of the fan stuff where i can find em ^_^ only one of them is a direct link to the product tho bcos some ppls shops r down and some ppl dont have all their stuff online. lemons_arent_green youre a real one

Ok the flat stuff!!! black rock shooter poster bcos i already have a figure but i liek her... badass anime girl ily.... was so so sure i saw a reigen keychain but when i went to go get one there weren't any so i got this sticker sheet instead :3 SPEAKING OF KEYCHAINS!!! yippee yippee kaguya i love you youre my special little tiempsy. yue you are a gay anime boy with a cool design. tomoyo ive always felt a kinship with you and its because im a desperate dyke. monokuma is here ig 🙄 i put him on my carabiner and hes fun to stim with. i am not immune to the sdr2 fanboying. also full disclosure ive not watched naruto (its in the spreadsheet) i just thought funko pop sasuke keychain was really really funny. my son who stares into my soul. comparatively i dont have as much to say on the badges!! luka luka fever for real girlie ily. the bandori ones were blind bags and i got himari on my first try <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry eve i kind of dont care. 🙁 the dr girlies i kinda picked at random based on who i've been vibing w lately.

THE POKEMON DIORAMA!!!! its soooo cool, staff were setting up the trade hall so i was in there all day friday and this shop was one of the first to set up their stands and i was literally staring at it all day... so fucking awesome. the rings n the necklace r from the same shop look at them... im fucking obsessed w the catgirl necklace. literally look at her. i dont thiiink shes supposed to be a specific character but she might be. oh well. cat girl ily. aaaand the arisa stand is actually a little clip for papers n stuff!! she was also a blind box but specifically for popipa so i was gonna b happy w whoever <3

MIIIIKUUUUUU MY PRINCESS MY EVERYTHING!!!!! she was calling to me she beckoned..... shes actually rlly big irl shes the biggest figure i have, replacing my kokoro one... shes the one where i audibly said 'it was my birthday i can buy things' bcos figures spencey... she wasnt too bad actually i just like bitching. 6 euro axel for scale

BOOKS 💥💥💥 i was reading nana a while back and i dropped it but i gotta pick it up again... rlly pretty and awesome... aaaand the summer hikaru died!!! kay if youre seeing this then know you posting abt it convinced me <3 i originally got it bcos i was on door duty in a quiet area and didnt wanna spend my time draining battery life on my phone but after i bought it i realised that that was literally a terrible idea so <3 we'll get around to them soon

FINALLLYYYYYY TSHIRTS!!! the top yellow one was my staff t-shirt, it has 'staff' on the back i was wearing it all weekend and yippee i love it.... emotional bond.... and if this is a safe space can i just say. if kaito was a woman? would. next up FAYE FUCKIN VALENTINEEEE!!! do u remember that post i made going thru all the sellers that were gonna b at the con that started like 'i hate shounen fans. name a woman'? well this is the seller i was talking about but all was forgiven in the name of FAYE ! GODDAMN ! VALENTINE ! ugh i love you girlie. and the last t-shirt was given out free to staff after the closing ceremony!! it was the tenth anniversary of kaizokucon so we got this awesomes design yay.... wore it to classes today hoping somebody would comment on it and nobody did 😌and in the middle i got CLOW CARRRDS BITCHES!!!!!! i saw them and immediately all thought left my fucking brain. i needed them. so important. the seller also recognised the axel in my fanny pack yippee!!!! a few people recognised him over the weekend actually and i was always like yes!! the him

anyway. yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! con con con con con :)

[saintobio]

saint :( so i saw this tik tok about single fathers and how lonely they must feel once their kids leave after their weekend with them. someone said that they can’t even imagine the kind of pain it must feel to come home after work to a quiet house that’s empty, going to sleep with no one home, no one to talk to and ask about your day, to tell you goodnight. just sitting down at a table made for 4, eating leftover dinner from the fridge and then all by yourself on the couch watching tv just for background noise and to pass the time until it’s time for bed. this, all while knowing that there once was a time when you had a family to come home to and do all these things with :( and i’m just thinking about gojou and how that must have been what he felt like during the years and how it might possibly be for him in the future. just imagining that if they have shared costody of sachi and gojou’s just like, “i know i can’t make it as well as mum does, but i made you your favorite” or him sleeping in sachiro’s room when he’s gone cause his sheets smell like him :(

THATS SO SAD HELPFJD IM CRYING :((( the loneliness i feel for the dad

Anonymous said

I'm making a guess it's gonna be like a marriage story with scarlett johansson and adam driver🤔

A divorce and separation with closure for both gojo and yn with shared custody.

Interesting thing, saw a video about a japanese single father and apparently japan doesn't have shared custody laws? From what i remember only one parent has the kid while the other is basically gone from their lives if i remember the video correctly.

oooh i haven’t heard abt scarlet and adam’s marriage story until now :0 and also thanks for the info. it seems like japan has strict laws when it comes to child custody 😵‍💫 guess who has to make tons of research again

@htmlk4sa said

i just read sincerely yours episode 1 omg shitting tears rn,,,

i feel so bad for toji :( he deserves the best fr

and the netizens, they’re so vile 😭 it’s scary i feel bad for y/n

and aaandnwndn sachiro omg waiting for more scenes with him he’s so cutee

and for satoru’s mom, i understand why she’s mad and i get where she is coming from but i rlly feel bad for y/n :( she was just trying to protect herself

also when satoru woke up I’M SCREAMINXGHDDBDBFB pls he deserves the world :( i hope him and sachiro can bond soon it will be so cute

thank u for reading, i’m glad that u enjoyed it :’)

Anonymous said

Is this song applicable to sincerely not or maybe the gojoxyn relationship overall?

https://youtu.be/2B50RUXbs-8

And one of them (toji, yn,gojo) is gonna vibe with this song by the end i think

https://youtu.be/eX9SfxybQX0

ty for the rec, i’m about to check it out. need some rly sad songs rn :’)

Anonymous said

don’t mind me while i just-

satoru at the hospital:

It was the same thing Gojou asked himself, but couldn’t answer. And it would be cruel for him to answer it at all. “Dad, I…”

“Don’t call me dad!”

The ground beneath Satoru’s feet was collapsing because of the gravity of his guilt…What hurt him was the fact that the father-in-law who had always treated him like a real son, was now seeing him as a traitor.

y/n at the hospital:

digging crescent marks on your flesh until you could numb yourself from the sting brought by your guilt. “I’m sorry, Mom… I… I really had no idea.”

“Please don’t call me Mom.”

She shook her head, massaging her temple with one hand while pacing back and forth. “I’ve known you since you were a baby, Y/N. I’ve had a good relationship with your mother, but I never thought you would become this spiteful.”

it’s the disappointment and hurt of their maternal and paternal figures in them because of the things they’ve done to each other 🥲 to think that gojo grew up looking up to y/n’s father in replacement of his own and y/n growing up under gojo’s mother’s wing and caring eyes after she lost her’s and now the two of them have lost them both </3

love the juxtaposition !! i never rly realized how much they parallel each other’s experiences until now :0 painpainpaaaain

[fellshish]

hi fellow european here, hear me out, idk why but i have a feeling that on the 5th nothing major is gonna happen and we're probably gonna freak out about the quiet but then shit is gonna go down on the 6th

As i said i dont even know why but In Conclusion im scared eurohellers lets hurry up and unionize in less than 24 hours heres how we can still win

Well it IS con weekend so you could be right, saturday is expected to be the worst. Personally i think nov 5th is gonna have mishapocalypse vibes and we’re all gonna go insane either way

What do you want the euroheller union to do? Mass beg misha to think of the timezones?

[haikyuuboysmakemesimp]

How would Lev, Semi (if you write for him lmao), Bokuto, and Kuroo react to the younger sibling going to a big game and they're surprised because they never could before due to their own club activities? Have a nice day/afternoon/evening my love ♡

yes I write for my main music man semi ;) and i went a lil crazy on his mostly because I've can't fucking stand shirabu

Lev, Semi, Bokuto, and Kuroo Younger Siblings Headcanons

Lev

you're the baby of the family

of course you love your big brother and sister (most of the time), but they're a lot to live up to

alisa is absolutely gorgeous and always has boys tripping over themselves to be of some assistance

and lev in all his dumbassness is still a reliable guy and has a close group of friends from his volleyball club even if they make fun of him all the time

so it's nice sometimes to forget about your older siblings and be your own person at your middle school

you make sure to join multiple activities so you're always busy after school and get to skip your siblings telling your parents about their day

you do care about them, but it feels like they get all the attention at home

Lev has been begging you to go to one of his games for months now. seriously, he won't shut up about it

alisa also wants you to go and be a part of nekoma's cheering section

no matter how many times they ask, you always find an excuse not to go whether it be a test, homework, or even detention

finally you feel bad enough for both of them that you agree to go to one of Lev's games

you let alisa know that you're going and she screams hella loud because she's so excited that you're going

the big day arrives

you and Alisa are in the front row of the Nekoma section at the beginning of the game

lev is focused on the game and doesn't notice you until he scores a point on a spike and wins the set

you and Alisa are so hyped so naturally you two are screaming as loud as you can for YOUR Lev, even if he is a dumbass sometimes all the time

you're so caught up in the moment you don't realize you just yelled "That's my big brother!!!" and as luck would have it that's when Lev focuses on the crowd for the first time

when he hears what you just yelled, he frantically looks around the Nekoma section until he sees you, his previous little y/n, in the front row cheering for him

baby starts waving and jumping until Yaku tells him to chill tf out

scores 5 more points by himself throughout the rest of the game

Semi

ever since Eita started going to Shiratorizawa, you two have slowly been drifting apart

even now that you're a first year at the same school as him, it's not the same

he used to sit with you and teach you how to play guitar

that's how the two of you bonded

before he started high school you were extremely close with Eita and your mutual love of music is what kept you two together

but now that he's so busy with volleyball he never has time for you anymore

and he quit the music club in his first year so he's extra lame now

and with all the shit with shirabu who you would punch in a second if you could have your big brother back Eita is just grumpy whenever you see him now

10/10 no fun

it's tendou that finds you and asks you to come to a game

you're automatically like who TF is this gremlin and why does he care whether or not me and my brother are alright

tendou explains that Eita misses you and is kind of confused why you two fell off

so you agree

at the game, you're sitting off to the side of the Shiratorizawa section to avoid the crowd

when you see that shirabu is starting as setter you can't help but roll your eyes

you wonder why tendou even bothered inviting you if your brother is just gonna warm the bench all game

you're very pissed by the time Eita finally gets put in the game to serve

you really want him to do well

and then he gets a service ace and you cheer for him

Eita still doesn't see you

which is fine with you since you're not sure what you'd even say to him if he asked you about it

he scores another service ace and you clap again

but then on his third he serves the other team receives it and sets up an attack that shirabu is forced to receive

Eita gets to set, so he sends it to Goshiki because everyone was paying attention to Ushijima and he thought that was a better move

goshiki gets blocked and the libero can't get to it in time

maybe shirabu was just having a bad day, but he says something to your brother that makes some of the guys laugh, tendou has to be held back by Eita, who looks absolutely numb

Eita is starting to walk back to the bench and shirabu the greasy fucker looks so pleased with himself

naturally you shout "that's my big brother you asshole! Watch it!" before you can think better of it

Semi does the surprised Pikachu face because he didn't know you cared enough to come to his game

he catches your eye before he walks back to the bench

baby gets teary eyed and you notice it

you guys have a heart to heart after the game

Bokuto

you're used to having to act like the older sibling

yes you love your brother, but holy fuck he is such a himbo smh

your parents know it too, but they try to let it slide since he is such an amazing athlete who basically has a future career in volleyball guaranteed

koutarou is only a year older than you so when you're at the same school as him you have to take care of him

you always pack his lunch and make sure he does his homework

which turns into you making sure he sleeps

and that he's eating enough

congrats

you're a mother now enjoy

Akaashi is you're number one fan because you somehow live with Kou and haven't killed him

living with Bokuto Koutarou can and will make anyone an introvert

but since you do all this for him, you consider club activities to be your decompression space

being somewhere without having to worry about your airhead big brother is quite refreshing

Akaashi understands this, but he also knows how sad it makes Kou that his sweet little sibling doesn't want to see their super cool Ace big brother win

so naturally Akaashi agrees to have Kou spend a weekend with him so you can go two days without fretting over him

at the game, you realize just how good of a player your brother is

like really really good

but seeing him go into emo mode on the court for the first time made your heart hurt

youre always excited and energetic overgrown puppy of a brother is... sad?

that's against the laws of nature

you can't believe you've never come to support him before

so being a good little sibling you tell "you've got this now get it together!"

his hair does the thing where it perks up

he immediately sees you in the crowd and does his weirdass "hey hey hey" thing

he points to you as the opposing team serves

and Kou fucking smashes that ball down and takes this point

yeah, you'll have to do this more often

Kuroo

now im making some big assumptions with this one

i think that having an older brother who wants to take care of his little sibling makes you shy because your brother has always taken care of everything

don't get me wrong he's an excellent big brother

but you never had to learn how to assert yourself because he's always been there for you

you were planning on becoming a manager for the boys volleyball club your first year (his third)

but at the insistence of your parents you found another club to your liking

they're worried you two are codependent and they don't want you to be hurt when Tetsurou leaves for University

since you don't spend much time with the volleyball team, you're not used to just how loud they are and frankly, it's overwhelming

so you try your best not to hang around them even though you wouldn't mind eating lunch with your brother or walking home with him if it weren't for the persistently obnoxious teenage boys he chooses to surround himself with

however, you and kenma absolutely vibe

you've grown up with him and at this point you too may be just as close and him and Tetsu

Kenma asks you to come to a volleyball game that you vaguely remember your brother telling you about

the thought of the big crowd and loud cheering sounds like hell, but you do want to see him play before he graduates

so you end up in a rare quiet section of the gym during a practice match because a tournament was too much for a first try

you're amazed how much of a cocky piece of shit he is how many blocks he makes

Tetsurou makes one especially strong block against the rival team's Ace and you can't help yourself from screaming "Crush him Tetsu!" to your brother

he immediately knows who said that and is so excited that you came to see him play

he looks to you every time he scores a point as if to say he scored it for you

he just wants to make you proud

after the game, he properly introduces you to the rest of the team Yamamoto is shook

and yes, you become the manager and Tetsurou teaches you all that he knows about controlling the volleyball dorks' antics

[onlyjihoons]

policeman!jihoon pt.2

a/n; special thanks to bff jupiter @chaeyolks for the pretty pretty moodboard once again,, also! this is a collab w @alliwannado-w1, her installment for woojin is coming up this weekend so do look forward to it^^

policeman!jihoon pt.1//policeman!woojin

warning: slight alcohol mention+slight violence, however characters are written when they are of adult age

“you’re illegal, why are you even a police officer?”

“you’re going to do undercover duty with y/n.”

“again?!”

“unless you want me to–”

“yes sir”

so here he was, groaning at his impeccable luck

he needed to get back at daniel for making him buy that drink LOL

“hello, im inspector park jihoon, please take care of me”

you looked up, being greeted by jihoon, in a light blue button down and ripped jeans

with that lanyard that has his name and picture??

usually staff id pics look like mugshots

but hey his pic deadass looks like a shot of those models for some fashion show

“hello, i’m sergeant y/l/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “i hope we will work well together.”

at that moment jihoon fell for your brown eyes

and dimples when you smile

whatever he said about having zero interest in girls was thrown into the gutter

jihoon was tasked to shadow you for your duties for a month

he was pretty sure he was gonna get sacked for falling for his superior LOL

anyways

your first day of working with jihoon was nothing big, just typing out some reports

it was a little weird because an inspector from the violent crimes department in a street crimes(idk what its called pls forgive me) department? typing out reports of a lost puppy??

anyhow your female colleagues from the other departments will ever more often drop by your desk just to see jihoon

it was getting annoying how theyre actually paying more attention to jihoon

so you asked minhyun to dispatch you for more undercover duties LOL

“i thought you loved writing reports”

“not until the female sergeants from other departments come to my desk to see inspector park??”

“are you jealous?”

ngl you were but you arent gonna let it show

especially in front of minhyun

he would f l i p

“try having 3 colleagues flocking to your table every 2 hours to see your co-worker instead of talking to you, and also distracting you from doing work.”

“fine”

undercover was boring, you would normally drag sergeant!baejin along with you

but this time he wanted to stay in the office because he doesnt want to be the “third wheel”

you and jihoon would go to the same club everyday to do undercover duties

and the both of you manage to bust some sleazy dudes

since the whole thing was already under control the both of you soon don’t need to go to the club

and actually do night patrols

it was fun, because jihoon would entertain you by pulling funny faces and treat you to ice cream

contrary to your expectations, jihoon was actually quite nice to be around with

but then something in your mind went off about him

 you remembered the fuckboy senior that played with girls’ hearts in high school

it was jihoon

you were well aware that you were a position above him despite the 2 year age gap

but you couldn’t let yourself fall for someone who breaks hearts

so you decided to build a invisible wall of friendship to prevent yourself from falling for him

i mean how couldn’t you,, he was good looking, good at his work, and had a faint protective vibe which you liked

like whenever you were feeling only a little chilly at the cool breeze jihoon would not hesitate to drape his jacket over you

and also let you walk on the inside of the pavement

besides, minhyun would fall off his chair at the thought of his sister dating someone from the violent crimes department

but that didn’t stop you from having fun

the both of you would sit at swings and play at the slides

there was once jihoon was stuck at one of the slides and you had to help him LOL

but ended up pulling out one of his Stan Smiths and nearly called the fire brigade

day by day, the both of you got closer

and you told jihoon not to call you “sergeant hwang” bc that sounds rlly formal

one day the both of you were just talking about random stuff and you mentioned that you wanted to pick up martial arts

“i can teach you if you want!^^”

“really? what martial arts do you do?”

“i have a six-don black belt in taekwondo, i do teach little kids in my spare time as well”

so here you are, standing at the back of jihoon’s taekwondo class

you felt very over-aged learning taekwondo with a bunch of white-belt kids

but they were really good, and jihoon told the kids you were his assistant for the time being

yeah, assistant with a white belt

and just saying, jihoon looked rlly rlly hot in that taekwondo uniform

with slightly sweaty bangs and all

when he just stands aside for the kids to practice and adjusts his belt

bOI

ok moving on

you learnt some basic moves and jihoon barely needed to coach you to get them right

so all those years of fighting with minhyun was worthwhile

jihoon would shift you up to a yellow belt in two weeks because you were that good

so one day your eyes obviously wasn’t doing you good

you kept messing up the sequence throughout the lesson, maybe your condition wasn’t good

jihoon could see it and asked you to rest for a while

after the lesson ended, you took your street clothes and accidentally walked into the men’s changing room

and you walked into a topless jihoon

luckily, he was the only one inside

you could see his toned abs, and defined arms

not to mention that killer jawline

and in taekwondo pants????

jihoon noticed you staring slightly and then fumbled to find his taekwondo robe

and you noticed you were in the wrong changing room

“oh shit im so sorry i--i”

just as you were about to get out of the changing room jihoon blocked the door

without his robe

“y/n, did you enter the wrong changing room to see,,,”

“see?”

he pointed to his abs, “this?”

you could only laugh, “i would never do that, i can easily see them on the internet”

he raised his eyebrows, “so you watch porn?”

“no??” you rolled your eyes, offended, “do you think i’m that kind of person, inspector park?”

“n-no--”

“i’m sorry i’m not like those girls you played with back in high school, i’m not after your body--”

“you’re driving me crazy, y/n”

“what?”

“your eyes, your nose, your lips, drive me crazy.” jihoon stared right into your eyes, making you blush

“hey inspector park--”

“why don’t you call me ‘jihoon oppa’ anymore? is our relationship strictly work-related now?”

“i just...” you sighed how something small could escalate to something big like this, “i like you, jihoon-oppa”

you slightly cringed but you continued, 

“but we cant do this. minhyun will get mad, and there goes my job.”

“b-but--”

“sorry, inspector park, i’d have to go.”

you pushed jihoon aside weakly, then going out and into the ladies’ changing room

you felt hot tears trickling down your face, in reality, you just didn’t want your heart to be broken

the next day, you and jihoon went to work like a normal day

just, no patrolling and writing of reports the whole day

the office could sense a tension between the both of you, even your female colleagues stopped coming over

“hey y/n,” baejin stopped by your table and handed over a file, “you gotta go undercover again for that club, the perverts are striking again.”

“again?” you sighed, “okay i’ll go.”

“do you need me to go with you?” baejin leaned against your desk, “ you seem, off, today”

“i-”

“i will go with her, sergeant bae.” jihoon spoke, “it’s my last day here anyway.”

so fast, a month has passed, you thought.

“thanks inspector park. i’ll get going then.”

you skipped dinner, all you did was to write reports continuously throughout the day

until jihoon slammed your laptop shut, and stared straight into your eyes

“we need to go now, sergeant hwang.” his lips stretched into a straight line.

you unwillingly got up from your seat, as you shrugged on your coat and headed out to the carpark to wait for jihoon

the car ride was quiet, with you staring out of the window, not talking to jihoon

though it was jihoon’s last day, and you were sorry he had to spend his last day like that

you had to stop yourself 

though the club was playing upbeat music, all you could do was to stare into blank space

just then, some sleazy dude came up to you

“can i buy this pretty lady a drink?” he winked

“no thanks, im with someone else--”

“ey, that someone else can wait.”

“i really do have someone--”

“i said i will get you a drink alright?!” the man’s rogueish smile appeared, grabbing your wrist, “i know you’re here to do undercover duties, sergeant hwang--”

just then, a fist was sent flying to the man’s cheek, as he stumbled backwards

you saw an angry jihoon, his face was red with anger

“if you ever touch sergeant hwang again, you’ll end up in the hospital.” jihoon growled.

“wow, sergeant, i didn’t know you were into flowery pretty boys like--”

jihoon sent another punch across the man’s face, making him fall to the ground

you had to physically stop jihoon from hitting that sleazy dude, or it would’ve turned into a full fight

“jihoon-oppa,” you held his arm, which weakened at your touch, “let’s stop, minhyun wouldn’t be happy if he saw this.”

jihoon scoffed, putting the dude in handcuffs

“you’re under arrest for sexual harrassment, you have a right to remain silent, unless with witness that will support your innocence.”

after that dude was thrown into jail, jihoon immediately hugged you

“are you okay?” he then took a step back to analyse your frame, “he didn’t hurt you, right? i was so--”

you then cut jihoon off with a kiss, shutting him up effectively.

jihoon kissed you back with more assertion, to make up for the time he didn’t get to talk to you throughout the day

“what was that, y/n?” jihoon smiled, ruffling your hair

“don’t tell minhyun about this”

boyfriend!jihoon in the police station is super sweet, leaving you a sandwich for breakfast, then dragging you out for lunch

minhyun soon found out about it, “i knew the both of you had something going on”

and jihoon wasn’t the asshole you expected him to be

he only had eyes for you, and it was really endearing

the both of you would go on night walks, and then sitting on the swing set, talking about random things

overall, the sweetest crime-busting couple in Gangnam Police Station

“I don’t know how you became a police officer, your looks are illegal, you’re my illegirl”

lowkey stole that from dimple by bts sorry im lame i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i liked writing this,,my request box is always open, so do send in requests!

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 1 - “It's not my fault our team chose the same song as the other team” - Cas

Let the games begin..............................

we out here. i'm on the cute yellow tribe. the only person on my tribe rn is Nicole and I already like her. i hope there's an idol hidden under joe del campo's cowboy hat

* A couple seconds later*

FKDSAHKDJFS LMAOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND ASHLEY ON THE OTHER TRIBE AND SHE LOOKIN LIKE A KARDASHIAN IN HER VID

Very excited for this to start! Tribe seems nice so far get a good vibe from eve and Ashley for sure. Just gotta feel everyone out a lil more and see how this first challenge goes

OKAY sooo I'll keep this first one brief. My tribe is pretty cool. I love Jared, I'm a little bit worried though because 1) he knows I'm a snake and will be scared of me and 2) he'll prob be able to know I'm friends with Ashley, but otherwise, he's my number 1 on this tribe and my favorite person in the cast other than ash. Like I'm so blessed to be with him and I don't think he'd turn on me yet since we'll be loyal. This Nicole girl seeemd cool in her vid then never messaged me back. Dylan seems nice but I think he might have been in bermuda or somethin LOL i've def played with him before and have no clue from what.... Sammy is cool, know him from before. And then uhhh that weird kid who had a three second vid, I hope he's out first. Ashley is on the red tribe I think? I LOVE HER she's literally my best ORG friend and she hasn't played in forever. Hope we get to a swap or merge without her doing something dumb first akhfdj. Patrick seems familiar I know he's old school and won HOS so that's cool. Eve seems cool never played with her but is that the same eve that does the challenge minis bc if so she knows im gonna pop off. Keaton good. Isaac good lol although I'm scared he'll come after me bc one time in his confessionals for a game we were in (i think indonesia?) eh talked about how big of a threat I was oops. maybe ashley will get him out for me LOL. and that austin guy seems cute, second game only awww. Black tribe has chloe YAYAYAY love her and excited to play with her. I think I'm on okay terms with Nick again, at least I really hope so lol bc bbclue was a mess but we kind of made up in ihos.... Vi/Cas I don't rlly know. payton seems like rhone but with a little more hair and less elderly wisdom. aidan's vid was weird but glad he got to the point I'm looking forward to this :) but I hope my tribe gets more active soon.

Okay so- Howdy! This is your cowboy speaking. I am going to go over my general strategy for the game and what I have done so far. I want to play a very physically/socially-centered meathead kind of game- a James Clement if you will. I want to try and win every challenge that I participate in and if we lose, I want to have 1 alliance with the strongest players that I will be 100% unwaveringly loyal to. Pretty basic stuff. So my alliance is with Owen and Sammy, which oddly enough- the last 2 Big Brother games I played, they were the people who got me out, respectively. Owen/Dana/Quill in BOTS and Sammy in Legacy3. So it's a risky group but this is the strategy that I outlined for myself so I'm gonna stick to it. They will be my F3 and I will literally ride with them until the wheels fall off. Until the hooves fall off, in western speak. I have no clue if they will be loyal to the end or try to target me on some point, but I have to try to keep them from eating the apple, because I'm not going to flip as my one-dimensional gameplan will not allow that! I confirmed with both of them that this is a trio they are good with, and the Pika-Dudes were born. I think it would be pretty rewarding for me if I could actually get them to stick together and make it to the end. But they could have other alliances on this tribe and vote me out this round for all I know, but so far my perspective is that they seem loyal Lastly, I suggested that we do the song "Before He Cheats" for the challenge, and that's the first time a tribe has ever taken my suggestion for the song, so I'm happy with that. I'll check back in if we lose the comp :)

okay so first confessional...honestly I am super excited to play with some of the people in this game. But I am just gonna talk about the challenge right now, umm so it's a music video which means.....hosts hate me...because I am always the one having to edit:,( okay so everyone got their videos to me finally except Nicole sent one vertically after I clearly said "@all plz film horizontally" so I just said bippity boppity bye. She seems sweet though and I don't want her to go anywhere soon. Anyways, Jared approached me with the idea of an alliance with me, him, and Owen which I'm totally fine with but I don't think I want to work with Jared like long game because idk if I can trust him to be like loyal to me. He is one of my fav people I just know it's a game. However I think if we go to tribal I probably would vote either Nicole or Xander. Not much confess right now except I am on a tribe with casper and his friends bc everyone forgot how to talk. alright that's it for nowwww.

#FuckMichael

What the fuck is Terlingua on someone better pray for my dude Aidan

VL: Oops

Omg yay!!!! We are safe for first tribal which I love. I'm starting to form pretty good bonds with issac,eve,and ashley so hopefully I can get it to where we all link up together for some kind of alliance.

Well so far it seems that Aidan, Chloe, Nick and I are in same mind set of voting off Payton. We shall see if it actually goes through. It’s really sad Bc the judges are all biased so now we have to vote someone out. Editing isn’t easy at all DX. I’m so sorry Payton if you’re do get voted out. You should move to the us to survive a bit longer ;-;

So my back’s been killing me all day. I thought it was from sleeping funny but clearly its from carrying this damn tribe.

This weekend was so flipping busy. I'm trying to get caught up at work before vacation and Matthew is here. I don't feel like I've gotten to bond with my tribe much. I'm glad to see Dylan A. We've not really gotten to play together much because he always gets voted out early in games we play but I don't think he will come for me and he's a bigger target than I. I like my tribe a lot. Jared is really funny and Sammy kicked butt in the challenge. I've talked to Owen a tad. I'm glad we didn't lose because I deserved to go home. I didn't get back from Erica's bday thing until 4 and then it wouldn't let me use the song I bought some it is copyrighted so I only had 30 sec then I couldn't get it to film horizontal. I'm a big ol mess. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaw! 😂

Whew okay so I don't know anyone on my tribe (kinda) which is good but also a bit scary since its just 6 of us. Overall, I feel like everyone's a bit quiet and not too talkative. That being said, they might be talking a bunch in PMs. Right now, I am trying to stay under the radar and just be friendly with everyone. I really like Austin, Eve and Patrick right now. Keaton and Isaac are nice too but I dont really talk to them as much. If we would have lost this first immunity challenge I would have definitely wanted to vote for one of them. No official alliances yet but its still early so I think its okay. THANK FUCKING GOD WE WON. Okay well, we got 2nd but thats a win in my eyes. I just really hope I make it to jury and I will be happy so not being first boot is GREAT. Im trying to get this damn idol but I cant catch a fucking break and my ass keeps getting zapped... I dont think anyone has gotten the idol yet so I hope i get lucky and somehow get to it first. Here is how I see everyone as of right now: Austin: Probably my fave right now and hoping I can get into a f2 with him. He's funny and sweet and I feel like we get along and its pretty easy to talk to him. Eve: Eve is iconic! Want to work with her but I feel like she is really social so she might be a threat later on. Pat: Same as Eve, even though I just met him, I actually have known about him before since he is friends with some of my friends. I know he does good in games so he is someone I would like to see leave a bit sooner since I think he will be hard to get rid of later. But hes amazing and his video for the music video was ICONIC. I can see him and I becoming friends for sure. Keaton: Not much to say, I do know keaton from playing a game with him in the past but he was voted out first I think and then I hosted him in HOS but i wasnt super active in that one :) Anyway, I feel like we dont have much to talk about so I need to make more of an effort with him. I really wouldnt care to see him go tbh but who knows, this can definitely change if we start talking more. Isaac: omg okay so night one I go into everyones PMs to say hi and i notice that I already had messages with him which I found super weird because I didnt know who he was but I guess we kind of got into it like 3 years ago??? I told him I didnt remember this but i do. He was basically an asshole to me for no fucking reason. But this was 3 years ago so i really dont care so I hope he doesnt try to target me over it. He seems nice I guess but I havnt really talked to him much. In his defense he has been sick apparently but if we would have gone into this first TC I would have wanted to see him voted out first for sure.

Confessional 1: So right off the bat I talk a lot to everyone but Payton but my main issue is he’s probably not going so I’m gonna need to vote out someone I genuinely like right away. I think I’m decently connected and unless these guys are pulling off the best blindside ever I think I might possibly be semi safe??? Who knows though there’s a lot left of game to play this round so let’s let’s see who the votes will land on. I’m kinda trying to indirectly get my way but it’s like just not working out lol.

Its been a fun couple of days, im talking to my tribe and just feeling them out. Im very happy I don't have a history with any of them so I can just relax and start a clean state. Im a big fan of Jared and Sammy, but honestly nicole can go. She annoys me more than Jess's love of alcohol. I'm hoping to just chill and slide my way to merge where from there actually make moves and make my way to final 5 where we all know im gonna be voted out.

Idk what the fuck is going on lmao. I think I’m getting voted out because I haven’t talked to anyone but I’m trying to push the vote in cas instead but it might be too late because I just started talking to everyone cause I’ve been working too much.

https://youtu.be/bMY6mumIAQ0

Am I disappointed with my tribe? No. Am I disappointed with the outcome? Yes. I'm not a fan of these subjective challenges because the criteria literally changes everytime and all the judges (who are usually unqualified, uneducated and underemployed) seem to like to harp in on the most random shit like- I can't. And the fact that I, someone who never edited a fucking video before, had to do that shit just shows how useless my tribe is overall. Either useless or lazy but either way... I'm predicting a Matsing performance from this tribe. Why the fuck did I get placed here? So far people are fine but I don't /love/ anyone. Maybe I could put in more effort but like Chloe/Nick/Vi all seem fine and fun but like nobody I'm too connected with yet. I'm sure it'll come. Chloe and I seem to have the most similar personality but something tells me she's like connected idk. I don't see her going far with me. I see Nick/Vi being loyal though. Payton and Cas are like fine I guess but afaik they're the ones on the chopping block because of minimal socialization. I will be voting for Cas but honestly I don't care who goes home as long as it isn't me. I just want a tribe that isn't awful.

I like my tribe ok I guess. They’re all a girl or a gay except Keaton so that’s a plus. Despite my lack of participation in the first challenge due to my meningitis I’ve been assured that I should be safe on this tribe and I’ve been offered an alliance so we’ll see where that goes. I’m looking forward to beat sent home by Jared’s homophobic ass though. It’ll be fun

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-confess-1/s-HFs1s https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-2/s-nVSd2 https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-3/s-65KCP https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-4/s-kLYio https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-6/s-r6uNi

So like, love my tribe so far, I think Issac, myself Ashley and Austin are going to become a possible / close alliance, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE pat! What a fucking legend. Rly wanna try to work w him!! Idk dont wanna lose bc that means someone has to go :(

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 7 (Pt. 2) - “Okay there we go. I’m caught up. Now give me my winner’s edit back.” - Trace

i was shook when the vote ended up being nehe. I was not told that was happening by anyone and I voted Thomas. Later in my tribe after tribal it seemed the people on ma'an were voting together maybe but I was left out of it. Made me nervous about where I stand on that tribe. For this whole moon twist thing I thought it was interesting that Timmy decided not to vote for Madison. then I looked back in the tribe chat and he wanted to vote for thomas or chloe and he stuck with that desire. i dont fully understand the reasoning why but it was fine I didnt mind too much. Hopefully it all works out for the best. I dont think I would have cared too much about who went. Didnt seem too edgy of a decision to choose anyone over someone else. On this tribe I have Adrian and Devon who I connected with before so I was excited about that because I talked to them in the warzone. I am happy to still be with Madison and timmy, and i am still unsure about Owen. Not much has really changed. I really just need to step up my social game and really get in this game

So I was lucky enough to get 4th and avoid the Warzone but now I have to worry about the possibility of Kait being voted off. I do feel that I am meshing well with my tribe and that's good, especially with Maynor and Corey. If Ian, Stephen or Trace get voted off, I wouldn't mind that much tbh. I feel I got a good connection with Chloe that will help in the long run and it will most definitely help if she ends up on Ard.

I won immunity!!! 20/23 is not bad. Im so happy. I can enjoy and have fun at Disneyland!!! Tomorrow is gunna be great. Im also happy that Adrian and Matt S. won immunity as well. Im hoping that Thomas and Madison are able to survive. Also Stephen as well. But god a huge relief for tomorrow.

Well well! A second swap and I honestly love my new group of 8? Like all of them are amazing people and I have interacted with everyone in some capacity except for Owen and Timmy. Owen, is my TS father- so like it is very very nice to see him here. But like the guy has been immune since the 2nd challenge of the season. He's a challenge threat. He needs to go. But he's really sweet and like should this warzone twist EVER end... he's definitely big on my radar. Timmy on the other hand... the snake evicted me in HoS19. And hasn't been on the tribe chat since the swap was announced and like was so out of the loop that he needed to break a tie between Chloe and Madison.... Like? Damn bro. Pay attention!!! It can't be that bad like seriously, for the hosts needing to call you the fuck out in the Moon Vote results.... like YIKES! Anyway, that is my tea for this past round. Also- I had a big hand in eliminating my vendetta?!?! I'm sooooo glad that I can finally thrive in a TS game without his snakelike tendencies trying to shoot me down every time I'm vulnerable!!! And mami I am so proud!!

Well it has been a while hasn't it. First of all, I apologize for being so utr. I had my graduation this past weekend so I have just been very busy dealing with that. But now that I am done and have all this free time, I feel rejuvenated and ready to make this game my bitch. Let's start with the renee vote. I felt so very bad. I love renee and wanted to go far with her into the game. But alas, Corey told me she was the move so I voted for her. I won't lose any sleep, but I will pour one out for her. Then there was the NEHE VOTE. DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD. I am so happy that Nehe went and I didn't have to do anything to get him out. Truly such a blessing, and now I can move forward in this game without any fear. This tribe vote was interesting. I wanted to vote Chloe because I thought that if she was sent to the exile thing, it could be spun well for us either way. If she were to be sent home, it wouldn't be a huge loss to the other tribe because she seems to be their scapegoat anyways. If she is exiled, she might be happy that we did that for her, and we can spin it like we knew a swap was coming. She ended up being exiled, so i look forward to fabricating the truth when I speak with her next. This swap was fine. Swaps don't matter to me because this stupid ass twist makes literally no difference in terms of alliances and who is on your tribe. I guess it was nice to talk to some new faces but otherwise tribes are irrelevant. I knew I would be in the war zone this round, this stupid ass challenge kicked my ASS. Fuck ariana grande. Anyways, I was happy to see that I had a lot of familiar faces here, so hopefully I can use that to my advantage. It was good to see Timmy again. I didnt know i loved what i had until it was gone clearly. I will be working with him for sure. Ian and i have gotten a lot closer, so I also plan on working with him. Other than that, I like MercuryParadox, I like Madison, and I like Thomas. So like, there we have it. I wouldn't mind seeing stephen go. Or like anyone else as long as it ain't me. Okay there we go, i'm caught up. Now give me my winner's edit back.

This swap actually has me a little on edge. I don’t have any real strong bonds and all my allies are on the other side. So winning immunity this round was rather crucial. If we do lose I feel I have a connection without chloe so am actually hoping she comes back to us. It’s not as much about who is on your tribe with the warzone, but it’s good time to build those ties going forward. Madison is still reeling from the Renee vote obviously since she won’t respond to any messages. So trying to avoid a warzone with her in it will be very important. 

Johnny is asking for confessionals and I respect him so heres one. Congrats on graduating Johnny. 🥳 Game wise: i feel like allies are starting to form. I feel like I can trust Adrian Madison and Matt S. Ive been talking to Kait amd Thomas and i get good vibes from them. The whole Kait situation was crazy. I didnt want either of them to go but atleast one is safe. Today is my disneyland trip so im going to enjoy having lots of fun and  not worrying about tribal. 

As of 1:51 pm 5/21, Cullan seems to think Me, Him, Trace, Stephan, and Thomas can work as a 5 this vote to go after either Madison, Stevie, or Timmy.  Real talk I'd love for it to be Madison but I'm not going to press the issue to him at least, I would be good to vote either of those 3 but would rather see Stevie and Timmy stay.  My skeevy fucking ass is actually going to talk to those 3 even harder to keep my name off their tongues as an alternative to the vote.  I need to find out how Trace, Stephan, and Thomas feel, apparently the talk about the 5 happened last night so there is at least one person here sticking up for me as a number with them. Good, I want everyone to think I'm a number for them.

--

As of 4:51 5/21 the debate on who to go is between Stevie or Stephan and I couldn't care less which one of them left.  Stevie goes, that starts bleeding Owen and take an option from him as a number for him losing his sign partner.  Stephan goes that's one more person down that has gone to numerous warzones building relationships and seemed hyper connected at first in this god forsaken place. It's not me, it's not Cullan, it's not Trace, then I don't care.  Hopefully it stays this way and my idol and I survive to ruin a more important tribal.

Stephen vs Stevie - Battle of the Steves..

Ok so the vote should be Stevie so woohoo. Also, Trace told me that apparently Cullan tried spreading my name so I have to stay wary of that. I’m doing well though with not blowing up on him because that’s usually my go to thing when people are saying my name. I noticed that Ian is also trying hard to keep trace safe, it’s something he flat out said to me. I need to keep that in mind as well because it means trace is well connected. For the time being I like working with him and Ian seems cool as well, but Trace will be/is a social threat, so I won’t just blindly ignore that.

This has been an interesting round to say the least. Every time that I come to one of these tribals I get really really nervous because I feel like even though I have some good personal connections with people, they could just try and get out a threat early on (aka me), and leave me in the dust. I'm assuming that this isn't happening this round, but I always expect the worst. I was really excited to see Timmy again. I missed that goofball. I also was happy to see Ian here, I have started to get much closer to him as the game went on and I really do trust him. Everyone else, I don't really care about. Cullen and I talk a lot so I thought it was only natural we would work together. Thomas is butthurt that people called him inactive so I think he's trying to be a little more proactive this round. Madison is irrelevant but she's sweet so yeah. And then that leaves us with Stephen and Stevie. I really feel like this is a situation I've been in before. I would really prefer someone from the other tribe to go, so that way we don't get chloe. She is a scapegoat vote and I would like for the other tribe to have her. So with these options, it was time for me to do what I do best: plant seeds of doubt in people to get who I want voted out, voted out. I want stevie out. I started by agreeing with Ian that this was the best plan. Stevie has been joking about voting me out on my birthday which I know is a joke, but like fuck that I don't even like people joking about it. Timmy will do whatever I want, so that's three. Madison also heard Stevie so there is 4. And then Stephen will vote Stevie to save his ass. I feel bad for Stevie because he thinks we're all voting Stephen and I am being really nice to him about it. It's gonna be tough when he gets blindsided. Although he did just message me saying he felt off because everyone was being really quiet. The good news is that they should be the only two getting votes so if Stevie does play an idol, the votes most likely will fall on Stephen. I just want to survive this War Zone so I can beat my worst placement. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

and i oop! ok so im quite a ways behind here but let's goooooooooo - owen found the advantage thing that he can break a tie or s/t - matt found some fancy idol that has normal powers but allegedly if he plays it at a premerge tribal while another idol is also played a "game changing twist" will occur or something like that......... idk i'd wager that that'd mean the warzone might end if that happens?? but i doubt it'll get played premerge let alone with another idol - on that note i love matt he is my #1 i want him to win - the stupid ass isolation vote should not have been near as difficult as it was. theoretically i had wanted for us to vote as a tribe since we had the numbers and send one of the people from the other tribe but yk we can't have nice things so it became this day long debate over whether or not we should use our numbers advantage, vote madison, or vote chloe / tommy as who we thought the other tribe would vote. it was the BIGGEST fuckening eyeroll ever like no one could agree and then i'd try to elaborate on a specific mindset behind oh well if it's an advantage potentially chloe and madison both jumped down my throat about it so that turned me off of the entire situation completely. up until then i hadn't really spoken to chloe much bc she complained that one time about me messaging her late so she's def not someone i'm looking forward  to playing with going forward. madison, however, i thought i really liked but how hard she was pushing to get picked is a little off, and her instant shutting me down. that brings me to like talking to timmy about it and he was very insistent that we should just vote someone on the other tribe and i'm like sitting there trying to explain to him that if we blatantly vote against the whole group it could potentially look really bad for us but he legit did not care one bit what i was telling him as he voted owen, then again didn't listen when i was like hey you should prob pick madison not chloe and he leroy jenkins'd that shit and picked chloe anyways. i think that says a lot about who he is as a player. got my eye on him!!! - swap sucks. i'm with literally none of my buddies, so i feel like i'm starting from scratch making bonds. i'm just focusing on making some solid friendships and foundations with a few people here. matt had told me that he really trusts maynor so i hit him up first and told him that matt told me good things about him and we had strict instructions!!! to work together lmao but he's kinda quiet but he wished me gl and told me to stay safe when i ALLEGEDLY lost the challenge, so we'll keep working on growing that. corey is easily my fave omg he's so fun to talk to, but i feel like i remember someone in the game telling me to look out for corey, so i''ma keep a close eye on that!! the rest are kinda meh... ian comes off very smart and put together, which again something to keep an eye on bc i'm sure he's doing the same to me. tommy is still boring. - shout out to whoever clocked the error in the results and saving me from going to the warzone. i am manifesting that i will just make it through this twist okay thx. - i did get a chance to meet cullan?? in my brief time in the warzone before they realized results and we just kinda talked about minecraft. idk, definitely felt out of my comfort zone there lol even though i play that dumb game. hmmmmmmm ok i think that's enough explaining LMAO.

Ok, so today’s vote is interesting. Myself and Ian have decided that we need to take out Stevie our. Our numbers are myself, Ian, Stephen, Trace, and Timmy. Stevie is wanting Stephen out and has himself and Thomas. I’m not really sure where Madison lies for this vote. 

[littleandroidwrites]

As many text memes as u can 4 baiden

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

[bryn→ aiden♉️]: can i borrow those maroon jeans today??? i’d probably have to roll them up but it could be country chic 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: that’s an open invitation for you to make a joke about me wanting to get in your pants [unsent]

Send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i was just sitting there on the phone to my dad and we have this thing where we tell each other the highlights of our week and i thought about how last thursday i saw you in town and you were just there, just there, just doing nothing, just looking and laughing and being you and you’re so loud not just when you’re speaking even when you’re quiet you’re loud and i thought about how i had to pinch myself to keep from smiling at the sight of you but then you saw me too and you smiled so big and i wanted to tell him that that was it but how am i supposed to explaining just seeing you the highlight of my week when i can’t even explain it to myself [unsent]

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: this guy called baxter told me he’s never had a nickname before and i said ‘well that’s not okay baxter, i’ll have to give you one’ and it was more like an offhanded comment than anything else but then he got really excited and he’s really looking forward to having a nickname and i had to come and hide in the bathroom because i’m going to CRY i can’t let baxter down like this and you’re so good at nicknames please help me 

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i didn’t see; iyu otnight i thoguht i woudl!!! 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: are oyou okay

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: im not worrid sopecifallcy it’s jsit taht i want ot know

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i jsut wiped the makeup off the left side ofn  my nface adn whtat was my way of beingk like ‘it doesn’t maters let it go’ but then i ahd to ask

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i bet oyuo’re doing somehting fun

 Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: you’re still coming over tonight yes? pre warning: i can currently hear roman having sex so we might have to find a way to drone that out

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: do you think if i’d been abducted before i’d know? or do you think they keep that kind of thing secret even if you wouldn’t tell anyway and they know that, just to be safe

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: do you think you’ve ever been abducted? 

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i feel like you have been it’s in your vibe

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i never know where you’re coming from. it honestly stresses me out i don’t know why you can’t just !!!!!! make sense!

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: i’m letting you know this in advance so that you can suppress your laughter when you see me in person, not so you can make fun of me: i’m wearing all denim. i forgot to do my laundry this weekend for the third weekend in a row and now this is all i have. i decided to commit to the look by throwing on some denim-look canvas shoes this morning but in the light of day i can see that was a mistake

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[bryn → aiden ♉️]: yesyesyeysyesyeyseysyeysyeysesyeysyesyesyesyeyseyseysyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyeysyesyyYESYes. you won’t regret it this will be the best spooky thrift shop of your life we’re gonna find really old cheap friendship bracelets and wear them forever

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hey, I'm a [17M] and she's a [17F], this is going to be very long so please read it all I need help and I have no idea how to process this, so I seek reddit's help. Okay, so a few months ago myself and group of others went across the entire globe to go on a 'school' trip, we visited many countries and I made friends with this girl and friend group, myself and her grew close it was obvious we got along very well, I hadn't felt so good before, I was so confident, happy and just glowing (not trying to sound cocky just saying..) Although at the time we didn't know the other felt this way but we both liked each other. Anywho we got home after a month long trip and we were talking alot and then there was a party and it came out that she wanted to hook up, we didnt.. I thought it was all a joke and I didnt want to look weird or creepy but saying I wanted to without her saying anything to me personally. Eventually we started talking more and it came out that we like each other, we weren't 'chatting up' however we did know we had mutual feelings, all was going well until I had a 'gatho' (a small party of like 8-20 people) and she had a party on the same night, so I asked her if me and my mates at this gatho could come and to the party and have fun because she was one of the 'hosts'. She said yes so we all made our way there on the expectations that she would get us in there without any problems, once we arrived we werent allowed in, I got mad and just told her I couldnt trust her among other things, which I regret it wasnt her fault but at that moment I didn't want to hear it I was so set on the fact she said she'd let us in. Anyway that whole situation was fixed and things were going back to normal and once more we were in a good stance everything was looking good and there was a huge chance of dating.There was a party that next weekend, myself and her were both invited so naturally I was keen I was expecting it to be a great night, I'd hang out with her and then we'd probably hook up and maybe date. Boy was I wrong, I got drunk to the point where I can't even remember most of the night.. That night I was drunk so I couldn't comprehend and think about the stuff I was seeing and doing anyway, my mate and her best friend (they'd never get together its like hard to explain but they wouldnt), well he was even more drunk then I was and he couldnt even walk and he couldnt stop vomiting, so she was helping him and I got upset because I guess I got jealous because she was hanging out with this guy after we had hyped up how good the night was going to be between us and we'd have a great time. (i dont get jealous normally so this is really embarrassing, but im gonna blame the drinks) So I was jealous and I just assumed in my head that night she wanted him and not me, which was the dumbest thing I could of ever done omg.. So I was talking to other girls and apparently I called another chick pretty and asked if she was single, naturally this girl I was getting 'close' with was upset and didnt want anything with me and said she needed time, she called me untrustworthy and unloyal. (keeping in mind we weren't exactly chatting or dating, which is no excuse for what I did but I thought it may have been a little overreaction.) Anyway time goes on and we hang out a few days after it to talk about what happened, basically she said she needs time and I got scared and made another dumb decision (noticing the pattern eh?), I said "you need to decide whether you want me and go back to how things use to be or well nothing I guess.." she obviously said she just needs the time and that kinda fucked me over, naturally it was my own fault I shouldn't have done that.Believe it or not, we start talking again not how things use to be, they havent been how they use to be ever since but it gets interesting from here on, so her best friends and I are all friends and such. So I talk to them about the situation because they know her and what I should I do. So I talk to them and I cant really remember what they said the first time tbh.. So just remember that shes rejected me and I asked her to back to how things were and she basically said we should just be friends and such like that. So time passes, we're talking and being friends but its not the same it kinda seems different and lacking what it use to have.. Anyway we have a 'gatho' for someones 18th and myself and her are invited so her friends tell me I need to prove I can handle myself when I'm drunk and that I wont talk to other girls like that. So the night goes on and I'm talking to her (i assume I was annoying her a lil) but anyway there was another girl at this gatho that was willing to hook up with me and I resisted it and I guess that proved myself a little so thats good. Anyway time passes and were getting a little better but not really.. Anyway I started to get real big feelings that she was leading me on and stuff so I just asked her "do you want to be a thing with me or not" basically another fuck up lmaoooo. So she can't answer and is pretty distant after that and ya' know no surprise I can understand why, so another week or two pass and there's another gatho (it gets very interesting from here on..), so we're at this next gatho and we're getting REALLY close like were always with each other and talking laughing and having a great time, it was a great night like one of the best I've ever had. Myself and her end up staying the night there because she didn't want to drive cause it was late and she didn't trust her fatigue. So we slept in the same bed (not like that, literal sleeping) and shes lying on me, so we fall asleep and the next day we're still close and having a good time. So there was a legit vibe of well dating and stuff I guess again, like you know what I mean, anyway so another lil backstory just so this next part makes sense. Me and her set up her friend and my friend together and it full worked and there together-ish, so we call each other the best match makers in the world blah blah, so anyway the next morning comes and were talking on iMessage ALOT and its going well, then I was like "do you know who we should set up next?" and she said "Who?", my response was "Us x", she then sent a huge paragraph saying how at this gatho she had an amazing time and everytime she looked at me she was smiling and happy but she didnt answer the question, but I left it at that and we just talked about something else.That night, it was my Mums birthday and I had zero money to buy her anything but a card and my mother, the person who raised me didnt get a present like i felt so fucking bad and angry at myself for not saving anything, so I was pretty fucking depressed that night, and this girl I like has some secret thingo with another guy, however they don't at the same time, so I texted her about it asking about it/confronting her about it because I dunno I just felt like things that night couldnt get much worse, well they did, turns out nothing was happening between them (according to what she said). So once more I felt lead on and confused and completely out of it. So I did the unthinkable and asked again "Do you want a thing with me or not?" this time I received no response, 3 hrs later I realised how big of a fuck up I had been AGAIN! So I called her bestfriends because they're the best person to talk about it with, turns out she rang the other one at the exact same time about the exact same thing hahahah rip, anywho her bestmate told me that I should just be close friends with her again but if another gatho happens I should take the opportunity, even as much as it hurts me and so I was like ahh okay thanks I appreciate it. Anyway myself and the girl talk some more, its a lil weird and awkward but its okay atleast we're talking again.. So then another gatho happens and this time we're close again, to the point where we are kissing (finally..) and we did that quite a bit not to much but ya know, then when she droppped me home she made the move so that helped show me it wasn't just a one way kiss.. Then things were decent the day after and stuff, then four of us hung out, myself, her and the two we set up. Basically I set this hang out up so I could make another move and see if it wasnt just a one time thing, anyway she was a bit distant then when we got to the place I got a text with really bad news about the fam, so I went really quiet and just walked by myself and was REALLY distant cause I was processing what happened. I went home that night and she sent me a text saying "Why werent you acting like yourself?" I saw it and just wasnt in the mood and didnt want to say the wrong thing to her so I didnt respond and just fell asleep. I woke up the next morning with a huge paragraph saying how she doesnt think it would work between us and such.. (keep in mind this is 2 days after we were kissing and being super close at a gatho) Anyway so I tell her what I got told and such, she still just wanted to be friends, which I have no problem with i'm just confused af.. Anyway we haven't really spoken much since and that was like 5 days ago.So I'm trying to figure out what I should do, but it all kinda links up though, like her friends told me she doesnt know what she wants and that I should just be friends her until I get another gatho opportunity, but I dunno if I should just forget about her in that sense and just move on.. But I really like her and i dunno what the fuck to do aye lmaoo.TL;DR - i am dumb via /r/dating_advice