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thatyanderecritic · 6 years

Text

Deathless

Title: Deathless

Media: Book, Author: Catherynne Valente

Yandere(s): Koschei the Deathless (Or as Julie and I like to call him: “Kosher”)

Yandere Scale: 1/5 (Julie: 0/5)

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

Before we begin, Julie and I have two different views on this book. To keep things clean, I did the review while Julie did an analysis; which you can read here.

The Review:

Sigh… Kai here, back with another review. This time I’ll be reviewing the confusing and difficult to follow novel: Deathless. Bear with me as we go down this rabbit hole of a review.

Now booting Kai 2.0 … Version: Salty

Deathless is a story about… uh… Deathless is a tale about a girl named Marya (Mary? Maria? Idk how to pronounce any of these Russian names if it’s not Ivan or Dimitri.) who get whisked away by the tsar of life: Kosher- I mean Koschei and become his wife. In the beginning of the book, Marya was seduced by Koshei and his magical lifestyle. After succeeding in the three tasked made by Baba Yaga (yeah, IDFK. Apparently the Baba Yaga and Koschei are siblings), Baba Yaga gives her blessing to Marya and Koschei’s wedding. But Marya was warned that she would leave Koschei in the future and fall in love with a man named Ivan. Marya swears that’ll never happen; she’ll kill Ivan and eat his heart. Immediately starting in part 2, Marya falls in love with Ivan in the middle of fighting a war with Koschei’s brother (IDFK man, this shit is hard to follow). Marya runs away with Ivan and together they suffer in hunger and poverty. Koschei goes running to Marya and begs for her to take him back. Marya locks Koschei up in her basement (fuck man, I’m so lost) and had Ivan promise to never look in the basement. For a time, things seem to be well with Marya fucking Koschei in the day and banging Ivan at night. But Ivan, being a nosy motherfucker, looks in the basement and discovers Koschei. After Koschei tricks Ivan to give him some water to drink, Koschei regain his magic and kidnaps Marya. Now in part 3 (the final part), Marya and Koschei are living a happy married life in a small Russian town with happy villagers. Things are going swimmingly till Marya gives birth to a little girl… that little girl being the embodiment of Koschei’s death. Koschei died and Marya is freed. Turns out that Koschei had the two of them trapped in a peaceful dream within an egg. But the thing is, Koschei’s death is hidden within an egg… which is why he died (Don’t look at me, I’m fucking tripping as it is as I’m recalling the story). Now back in the real world, Marya looks for Ivan; who was dying from old age. After watching Ivan die, Marya moves on and discovers a town like the town in the dream. There, all her fairytale friends are living there as humans.Only the Baba Yaga recalls Marya and explains how Koschei’s brother won the war and turn all the mystical into the normal. Koschei is still alive in the village and Marya decided to visit him to see if he remembers her… I guess. The ending is ambiguous.

Anyways… what the fuck did I just read? Well… Julie and I technically didn’t read the full novel. Our knowledge comes from a combination of: an 11 hour audiobook of Deathless (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck), the wikipedia summary, two reviews on Deathless, and the actual hard copy of the actual book (which we didn’t finish because we were confused as fuck). Let me just complain here and say this book is damn near unreadable and almost unintelligible. First, people talk as if they’re the goddamn Riddler from Batman. Characters were unable to straight up say what they mean, phrases have double meaning, and it was like reading the writings of Dr. Seuss’s less talented brother. Descriptions were just a fucking pain in the ass to comprehend. Everything about this book was a fucking mental gymnastics. Julie and I had to stop every five minutes to decode what the hell is going on.

You see that? All that flowery words bullshit? Marya is just throwing up. JUST SAY SHE’S THROWING UP AND MOVE ON. CHRIST. It took Julie and I three minutes to figure out what this description was suppose to be about. And this was one of the easier descriptions. It doesn’t even help that the story itself is just plain nonsensical. It felt like I was reading the words of the author after she puked out alphabet soup. Already, Deathless was basis on a Russian folktale that was already wild. With the combination of awful dialogue and confusing description, it was just a maze of a book to traverse.

I get some people will argue with me that this is a good book. For one, I probably just don’t understand it because it’s not my culture. Sure, you might be right. But so is the author… Catherynne is an American. Not Russian. Besides, the original folktale that Deathless is based on was easier to follow than this crap. Next argument some might have is that “Deathless is too sophisticated for your simple mind to handle.” No. It’s not. It’s ridiculously complicated for no reason. Complicated does not mean well written. There is nothing wrong with writing something simpler… you’re trying to create a novel that all adults regardless of age can understand. Truth be told, the writing in Deathless reminds me of the stuff you’ll find in creative writing class. This sort of story would get notes everywhere saying “Less description. More action” or “What do you mean? Clarify.” You're not the next Da Vinci code but a storyteller. Can’t tell a story if it ain’t readable. To compare this book, I would compare it to those research papers you would read in college. Lots of information but written by someone who’s trying to sound smart.

Moving on from my bitching, let’s talk about the one thing people care about the most: the yandere and characters. Based on what Julie and I were able to figure out, Koschie is the supposive yandere here. First let’s talk about him. Besides talking like the chester cat from Alice in Wonderland, Koschie was a surprisingly passionate guy who really cares about Marya. The best scenes with Koschie are the scenes when he isn’t talking and just physically showing his physical affections for Marya (lol). You know the phrase: “You look better with your mouth closed”? That fits perfectly for Koschie. Koschie’s physical interactions with Marya is the only straightforward thing with this entire novel.It was the rain in a desert. Anyways… even though Koschie was a passionate guy, it doesn’t make him a yandere. He breaks many of our rules… but the biggest one he broke was that Koschie still fucks other women besides Marya and keeps a collection of his past wives in a factory. I know the anon explains that these wives were actually Marya in another cycle? But honestly, it doesn’t change anything for us. Btw, anon, you’re seriously a champion for figuring that out. Julie and I did not know at all that this was supposed to be a cycle at all. Shit… I feel like we’re a part of game theory for trying to figure out what this author even means. Spoiler alert: If you have to do a conspiracy theory on your novel, your book ain’t that great.

Sorry… back to Koschie. Anyways, Koschie says some pretty words here and there. He sounds pretty yandere on paper… I guess. But Koschie bangs other chicks and lets Marya bang other dudes too on the side. Sure, I guess this is a progressive poly relationship. Good for them. But poly relationship plus yandere? It just doesn’t mix. This ain’t it chief. Koschie skims on the edge of being a yandere and being not a yandere. Sure he kidnaps Marya, kill some dudes that have the name Ivan, and say some possessive shit to her, but the actions just doesn’t line up. I don’t know… with the cycle theory in play here, I just see Koschie as a broken man who’s trying to reclaim control over his life. Not exactly a yandere per say. Like imagine: getting cuckold by some normal human, over and over again. Shit, I would go crazy too. I feel really bad for Koschie for falling in love with/having a wife like Marya. Apparently, Koschie and Marya are the same type of people but idk man… Marya is kinda of a crazy bitch too.

I’ll just briefly talk about Marya now. As we all know, a female lead defines a yandere. And Marya? Yikes man. I don’t know where to start with her. First off, Marya somehow managed to be both smart and stupid at the same time. We see that she’s clever enough to solve Baba Yaga’s tasks but she so goddamn stupid. Because of her curiosity, she’s extremely meddlesome and got Koschie almost killed even though he told her not to fuck with the egg… yet she fucks with the egg anyways. Then we jump to part two where Marya is more jaded and blames Koschie for all her misfortune (Idk). It’s not like he did anything bad to her. Honestly, reading their interactions, Koschie has been nothing but a gentleman to her. Besides the fact he bangs other women and like to do some weird power play on Marya, he’s pretty chill. If anything, she brought her own misfortune herself. She chased after Koschie because she’s fascinated by magic and wanted to be part of that world. Now that she’s part of that world, she doesn’t want to bare the burden of it anymore and return back with the humans; with Ivan. Btw, Marya wanted to sort of “keep” both Ivan and Koschie at the same time (because she’s thirsty). I mean… I get the sentiment, but Koschie literally stated that he wasn’t comfortable with that but Marya had her bitchy mode where she scratched Koschie and told him not to talk to her in that way (Weird flex but okay?). Ivan wasn’t cool with the arrangement either, hence why Marya left with Ivan. But oh the irony. Marya left with Koschie to avoid suffering, hunger, and fascination for magic but now with Ivan, Marya returned back to a life of suffering, hunger, and the normal. Again, more irony, Marya and Ivan have a fight because of their lifestyle. This is the part where Koschie comes begging at her door. And Marya, only being able to think with her vagina now, bangs Koschie and locks him in her basement. Just like how Koschie did a weird power play over Marya, Marya now does a power play over Koschie. One of the more fucked up lines Marya said to Koschie was along the lines of, “Lol. Look at you. Trapped in my basement… waiting for my attention while you abandon the war outside.” Like mega yikes my dude. I know Julie and I asked for a twisted female protagonist, but we asked for a relatable twisted female protagonist. Not… this. I guess Marya is strong? But… weird. Honestly… I lost any relatability with Marya the minute she started bouncing between Ivan and Koschie. And with how… sadistic she became towards the end, I don’t blame Koschie’s action. That’s a broken man with possible stockholm syndrome at this point.

Anyways… to summarize… I don’t know what I just read. Story is confusing. Characters are weird. I just have a bunch of puzzle pieces in my hand and a couple of yandere like lines. I suppose I can appreciate Koschie as an aesthetic. He says some pretty neat things, physically sounds sexy, and does some yandere like actions. So… I give him one yandere pity point for the attempt.... He might have shine better if the story was actually good.

Overall score: 1/10

#deathless #catherynne m. valente #book #novel #male yandere #yandere #review #opinion

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chamrosh · 6 years

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I think the most important issue before us with Article 13 now is exactly what the definition they use of copyrighted material is, and exactly what level of nuance is given to it. It’s a vital issue.

The worst is not likely. The worst is never the most likely, but it is always a possibility that requires considering. All decisions should be made with the worst in mind, and with the very worst that one might think of as a possibility being used; is this cost worth the possibility of this gain? If you cannot ask that of yourself with the very worst in mind, you should not be deciding. I see no gain. Plagiarisers will continue to find loopholes, and it will cost more to copyright holders through the loss of positive expression about their goods, and the added costs through article 11 to any form of advertising, than piracy ever did, and piracy will not be the majority of what is stopped. And yet-

If the worst case comes to pass -

If the definition is an extreme definition -

Are we not allowed to describe trademarks? Company names are copyrighted. How will advertisements work? Surely the MEPs know that internet companies will all collapse without advertisements? But there won’t be an ability to advertise because the company name must be mentioned, and that will be copyrighted, if the definition is an extreme definition.

There’s a few Polynesian alleles that are copyrighted by US health corporations. Yep, you heard that right. Actual living people’s DNA is copyrighted by something other than themselves. If we’re not allowed to post anything containing copyrighted material... well, can Polynesian people no longer reference their background? Can they not send selfies of themselves, or have pictures taken of them, because their genes are copyrighted and they’re distributing copyrighted material by showing their likeness?

If human DNA can be copyrighted from one heritage, an abomination in itself, might it not be more generally? Do plastic surgery companies own the bodies of those they help, by copyright, due to holding the patents of their techniques? If so, trans people would be restricted in just the same way; alongside anyone who had surgery to lose weight, anyone who had an injury that required surgery to repair their faces, and anyone who just wanted to do the entirely innocent act of a nose-job for their self-confidence.

Might everyone’s bodies be copyrighted already? Might all our likenesses already be owned? And if each person has any part of their body patented, and a bot spots it... and we used that person as reference... well, there’s no use for making art any more. If bodies can be patented, and, as said below, plants can be, what else is there for us to draw that no company will copyright and enforce their copyright? And just the same for writing, for performance, for composing, for singing, for public speech - everything that goes online in any form.

There might be nothing left for us to express ourselves with at all. And at that point, no creative personal will stay. They will be eliminated; through crush of resolve (creating a generation of miserable factory workers, that which our school system so desires), through emigration, and, most likely, by their own despair. Europe, like so much of the world, has a rich history of writing, of poetry, of music, of art, of all creative pursuits. And yet. And yet, a whole generation of creative types will be silenced. Many generations if it is unchanged. All generations if nothing changes. The pleasure in Wordsworth, the beauty of Mozart, the art of Da Vinci - every important creative person’s work throughout our long and rich histories... gone. No more. Ne’er to be repeated.

Companies have already copyrighted many, and they will stand unopposed. We will not be able to distribute that which has any copyright. We will not be able to access the heritage or our ancestors, and what can make all of us so proud to be a member of each of our countries. In effect, all the history of Europe will be erased. We will be a super-state with no history recognised by any. And history knows, and our neighbours in Asia know how that ends.

Have you ever wondered why tv shows use progressively stupider terms for zombies and superheroes? Because the terms are copyrighted. We will no have access to basic tropes in fiction, because the concepts are copyrighted. We will not be able to write stories, draw art, make any sort of creative medium, that expresses these concepts or uses them.

Quinoa is copyrighted, and the crackdown on copyright worldwide has already resulted in millions of Peruvian people starving to death as two US individuals are the only ones allowed to distribute its trade, while their cultures have been dependent on it for thousands of years. They have no ability to trade it anymore, and without that, millions of people either can’t get the food needed to survive, or can’t get the money to afford the food needed to survive. Entire species can be copyrighted. Will no one be able to show pictures of their food that contain such species? Broiler hen breeds are copyrighted. Will people not be able to show pictures of their dinners when they go out? Will they not be able to post recipes, due to having to use broiler hens to make them? Will people who have hens as pets not be able to show pictures of them online? The same goes for goats, for sheep, for cows... for all livestock. Will farmers not be able to run their websites due to not being allowed to show any of their crops online?

The song “Happy Birthday” is copyrighted. And because a bot would pick out that phrase, would we not be able to send each other basic greetings? Would we need to find more and more obscure references to that term as the bots slowly learned them?

Disney tried to copyright “Day of the Dead” before releasing Coco. Would we not be able to mention our traditional festivals and activities because companies can copyright them?

Sony has copyrighted many of Bach’s pieces; a US company (there’s a running theme here) copyrighting a German-born English-citizen’s music, who died 300 years before their copyright claim. Works fall into the public domain, generally, after about 70 years, without their continual reuse. And yet when a company comes along and takes them out, no one is allowed to use them again; look at Disney’s track record! Works that are public now and anyone can use as a means for something that might be easy to find and recognise our creativity by can be snapped up, hundreds of years later, and all rights to use them removed. And those rights won’t be returned for decades. If Disney made a film now about Jack and the Beanstalk, an EU citizen would now lose the right to draw beans, to draw beanstalks, to draw boys named jack, to draw giants, to draw hens, to draw cows, to draw anything being bartered in a market, to write, to talk, to sing, to express at all our opinions about any of these... for anything up to 100 years.

Would a person who protests article 13 and finds a way around it - by using other languages, by using over technical terms, by encrypting, by hiding, by speaking in code - would they be seen as criminals for wanting some way to speak freely? Would they be seen as accomplices to criminals, due to them “disregarding the law” or some such nonsense? Would using Tor, or a VPN be seen as a sign of a master criminal?

If we set up our means now, how might we not be seen as criminals then?

The ammendment claimed that it would only affect sites run for profit... but wouldn’t any site large enough to make a meaningful composium of our free speech necessitate being for profit? Server space is not free. Server space needs funding, whether by advertising, by subscriptions, or by any other witty means and as soon as it has that funding, it is for profit. As soon as a site becomes able to host anything meaningful, it will be taken away from us, as it will need to make profit, and we will not be allowed to post on it.

We will not be allowed to give our opinions on anything. Doesn’t any serious critique need the ability to reference material directly? How would we be supposed to describe what we even like about a property - a factor that will bring in more revenue for the big companies that this article is designed to protect, and will be stopped entirely if bots are left as our police force, judge, jury, and executioner - without being able to quote from it? Let me restate that, for emphasis; we will be banned from doing activities that allow companies to make profit, because the companies are scared of not making profit. And, at the same time, if something is awful, and it is causing genuine harm, and is legitimately hate speech - we will not be able to comment. We will be silenced, because to prove that they made hate speech will require them to be quoted, and their words are automatically copyrighted as soon as they phrase them.

And how are we meant to be able to formulate opinions properly if we don’t have the ability to share our opinions? That is to say, how are we meant to find out enough information to make informed decisions if we are cut off from sharing what we know and contributing to a hive of knowledge and conversation which allows us to make considered decisions? We won’t be able to discuss things politicians have said, we won’t be able to point out discrepancies and lies and nonsense, and we won’t be able to vote. We won’t be able to make the decisions needed as a precursor to voting. We won’t have access to the information needed for us to make any meaningful protest against the system.

Might this not be exactly what our governments want?

Passive sheep who allow them to be in power permanently, castrating what passes for democracy now entirely? Passive robots with no opinions of their own?

I have not even mentioned the effect this will have on citizens of other areas, but rest assured, you will know.

And when the day comes, and we have had our tongues stripped from our skulls and our eyes blindfolded to the world around us, we will not be able to help anyone else.

If the worst case comes to pass.

If the definition is an extreme definition.

There is no internet, and no future for millions of young people who will not live in the dystopia that we are barreling towards.

If the worst case comes to pass.

If the definition is an extreme definition.

We may as well start speaking New Speak now. This is double plus un good, I desire this stops double plus fast ly. Look at me exercising my right to reference now. I won’t have that route of critique open to me in a season’s time, just like Orwell warned.

If the worst case comes to pass.

If the definition is an extreme definition.

This is no longer a human rights issue. We will not be seen as people any longer. We will be robots. And no one cares about the rights of robots.

#article 13 #eu #copyright

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