#i know pokemon have general canonical weight ranges

[hartxstarr-art]

together.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[bluerosesburnblue]

I'm curious about pokemon theories now. I've never actually heard any of them lol

Well, you’ve got a whole range of quality just like in any fandom (though I find that a lot are uh... the product of people who didn’t read the lore)

There’s some that I do really like. Some like “Ariana is Silver’s Mom” (for context, Silver, the rival in the Johto games is Giovanni, the boss of Team Rocket’s son with an unknown mother. Ariana is a high ranking Team Rocket admin with very similar hair to Silver)

A very popular one is “Ditto is a failed clone of Mew,” which I also like even if it gets more unlikely every generation

Ditto, an uncommon Pokemon whose only ability is to transform into other Pokemon, has the same weight as the legendary ancestor of all Pokemon, Mew

It has a similar color scheme to Mew in both standard and shiny appearances

Both have perfectly even stat distributions (Ditto is all 48s while Mew is all 100s.)

Not to mention that both are the only Pokemon in existence that can learn Transform naturally, a move not even available to Mew’s canon clone

In the Kanto games, Ditto are only found in the lab where Mew was cloned

The biggest hiccup with this one is that Ditto can be found in the wild in every region, completely divorced from any lore

So there’s some decent stuff. But the bad ones, at least to me, are really bad

One that drives me absolutely insane is “The Unova War (from Black/White’s backstory EXPLICITLY STATED TO BE A CIVIL WAR) is the same was as the Kalos War (from X/Y’s backstory, EXPLICITLY STATED TO HAVE BEEN AGAINST FOREIGN REGIONS)” with special attention drawn to both:

People using the statues of the Unova Legendaries in Kalos’s Parfum Palace as proof that there’s a connection between the two, despite Parfum Palace only being 300 years old while the Kalos war was 3000 years ago and, ergo, not proof that Kalos had anything to do with Unova during the time the war actually happened

People making the claim that the desert in Unova was the impact site for the giant laser Kalos’s king fired during the war, despite the MASSIVE, PERFECTLY CIRCULAR DESERT BADLANDS IN KALOS being the place where you meet that very king

And almost none of those theories even mention the fact that Kalos is the Pokemon world’s version of France while Unova is their version of New York, and the games seem to have our level of technology. So how, exactly, did the king of France stage a war with New York with the technology of maybe slightly more advanced than 1000 BC? This is something that needs ironing out, people!

I’d go on more about the inconsistencies, but Reddit user CountScarlioni did basically a perfect breakdown in the comments of this [x] thread, to the point where I don’t have anything to add

Though the absolute worst Pokemon theory I’ve ever seen was “Lysandre (villain of the Kalos aka Pokemon France games) is the father of Lusamine (villain of the Alola aka Pokemon Hawaii games).” I’m linking the video but it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Just the idea that Lusamine, who is canonically over 40 years old, being the daughter of Lysandre, who is stated to have been Professor Sycamore’s (who was explicitly stated to be a pretty young professor) student and peer, whose games of debut take place two years apart, is absolutely absurd

The justification for this point is “Lysandre is the descendant of AZ’s brother, and AZ is immortal, so Lysandre inherited that immortality or at least slow aging!” Which, first of all, AZ became immortal due to radiation from his weapon. That’s not something he can pass on to his brother’s descendant, especially when his brother was not there when the weapon was fired. And, second of all, AZ’s immortality was explicitly the “Age Without Youth” variety, i.e. he still aged up until he was physically elderly and then seemed to stop

One of the pieces of evidence is, and I’m not joking, “Lusamine’s family’s clothes look French to me so they could be from Poke-France.” What??? Most Pokemon regions have similar clothing styles! Not to mention that most of her family’s names are German in origin. Which is close to France, but still more concrete than what this guy said!

Not to mention that his proposition of “they have similar motives since they’re both obsessed with beauty, therefore it was something Lysandre drilled into her as a child” is... totally wrong. They were both obsessed with beauty and control, but took it in totally opposite directions. And it’s a bit of a spit in the face to Lusamine’s story since the Alola games are so much about her children breaking free of her abuse (which, at least in Sun and Moon, is OUTRIGHT stated to have gone from “a little smothering” to outright domestic abuse when Lusamine lost her husband and came into contact with extradimensional aliens)

I just... don’t know how someone with such a shallow reading of the material can act like they’re exposing some hidden secrets with such confidence. Or how some people can just eat it up

[aro-aizawa]

alright so i finished up playing all of pokemon shield including the post-game mini plot, so here’s a quick fire list of all the things i liked about it and disliked about it before i go on to explain it in more depth (also spoiler warning). here we go.

what i liked:

the graphics, a little weaker in handheld form but largely unnoticeable unless you were looking for it. GREAT graphics when playing on tv mode.

the new pokemon. they were all really cute, and i especially loved the alternate forms and new evolutions of older gen pokemon.

opal, she’s hands down one of my favourite gym leaders so far only shortly followed by bede.

bede is a nonbinary icon as proven by the fact that they didn’t use any pronouns to refer to them until after the fourth gym, and the fact that when they’re in their gym uniform its trans flag colour. it may not be canon, but its canon in my heart.

gym battles are treated as they should be -- huge spectacles that gets people amped the hell up.

dynamaxing. its so goddamn satisfying to finish off a gym battle with your best pokemon as a fucking giant behind you, no matter their actual size. tiny pyukumuku behind you? badass. huge ass wailord? bad. ass. an actual baby pokemon? bad. ASS.

the wild area. introducing camping was a good system, it definitely helped a lot when you couldn’t exactly jump back to a pokemon center so you cook your pokemon some curry to revive and heal them. i imagine they took some inspiration from breath of the wild, tho i haven’t played it to really confirm.

what i didn’t like:

they cut so many corners in the game, you can definitely tell it was made in a hurry.

a minor note here, but for me i have this annoying bug that makes it so some pokemon have the exact same cry. its a sort of whooshing noise that you’d expect for a flying type pokemon, but it frequently appeared instead of well known and familiar cries. i can’t pin down exactly what the cause of this is, or if i’m hearing things wrong, but it was infuriating.

the towns are empty and barely even give you flavor text anymore. you might as well not speak to any npcs except shop keepers and named characters.

there is exactly three cute outfits and three cute hairstyles and that’s about it. i know a lot of this point is mostly about personal taste but please nintendo, we had such a good range in the previous game. 

don’t explore. there is literally no point in looking in all the nooks and crannies of this game, because i guarantee that if the game doesn’t tell you to go there, then there’s nothing there.

it’s too easy. it’s....actually crazy that i’m even putting this as a point, because i’m a strict believer in making games playable for everyone. but it’s just....too much.

the cut down pokedex will forever inject salt right into my veins. especially when they had the audacity to include one of the first starter pokemon, but not the other two. charizard is an okay pokemon but its overrated, nintendo please accept that.

the plot didn’t exist until suddenly it did and then it made no sense. 

i hate the fact that the team in this game were just delegated to fans. i understand the whole “fake out” thing they might have been going for by getting the player to think that they’d turn out to be bad, but no. it just sucks. 

fucking. swordward and shieldbert. i???? literally. have no. words. (i do but they’re super long so hmmm down below)

a game worth about £20 ($25) less than i paid for it. its a decent quality game, but not nearly nintendo quality. 

wow this post is longer than i expected it to be already. but anyways, the rest is super long and under the cut further going into depth about the points i raised. 

to start with, i’ll talk about the good points because honestly?? i really wanted to love this game. i really really did. maybe it was just the fact that at first i didn’t like sun and moon because they changed the formula so much, but it turned out to become my favourite game in the series. or maybe it was just that i don’t like being hypercritical of things i spent fifty fucking pounds on. either way, i wanted to like the game, and overall i sort of did but i sort of didn’t. lots of mixed feelings. anyways. onto explaining the good stuff. (or you can skip to “now on w the bad junk” for the bad stuff)

1. the graphics, a little weaker in handheld form but largely unnoticeable unless you were looking for it. GREAT graphics when playing on tv mode.

one of my favourite things about the pokemon series in recent times is seeing the process from 2d undetailed sprites to 3d incredibly detailed models. the most ambitious thing about gen 5 was the way the camera moved with your movements as you crossed the bridge, and now i just sometimes sit back and thing “wow 13 year old me would FLIP if she could see how good they got”. bc i kept just....admiring all the graphics and the quality of them. 

2. the new pokemon. they were all really cute, and i especially loved the alternate forms and new evolutions of older gen pokemon.

definitely one of my favourite things about the game was seeing the new forms of pokemon we already knew and the alternate forms they’d take when dynamaxed. i love seeing pokemon with new types that completely flip the script, like darumaka becoming an ice type instead of a fire type. or the fact that they gave mr mime a galaran form and it actually doesn’t look bad. 

i really loved that some of the galaran forms had unique evolutions, such as linoone evolving into obstagoon. or meowth into perrserker. it makes sense and i’m always super happy to see new evolutions for old pokemon, it keeps things interesting when pokemon other than eevee get new evolutions.

(tho that being said, still disappointed there’s still not another eeveelution. still holding out hope for that ghost type.)

3. opal, she’s hands down one of my favourite gym leaders so far only shortly followed by bede.

i’m not super well versed in the pokemon universe besides from gen 1 and gen 5 onwards (if you couldn’t tell), but its really refreshing to have an old gym leader that’s visibly elderly rather that just grey haired maybe retiree man. her personality was also really fun, it sort of felt like she literally had the most personality of all the gym leaders, which kind of sucked but it made me really love her character. 

and bede i didn’t wholly expect to really like as much as i did? i mayhaps might have spoiled myself a little on their gym leader status by dipping into the swsh tag here on tumblr before i fully completed the game. but still, they seemed just generally really annoyingly stuck up? but something endeared me to the darl and i just think it mostly had to do w the fact that opal took one look at them and declared they was her grandchild now. 

4. bede is a nonbinary icon as proven by the fact that they didn’t use any pronouns to refer to them until after the fourth gym, and the fact that when they’re in their gym uniform its trans flag colour. it may not be canon, but its canon in my heart.

argue with me on this point all you like, but you can’t deny the fact that in CANON they literally did not use any pronouns to refer to bede until after the fourth gym. the only mention of pronouns before that was their trainer card, which i did not check because good character development should be shown not told through an impersonal medium such as character cards. 

5. gym battles are treated as they should be -- huge spectacles that gets people amped the hell up.

i’ve always loved the way the league is set up, because it makes sense. the pokemon formula works and its interesting, but in previous games most people only vaguely acknowledge it as something every kid tries but doesn’t really complete. it’s already set up people love pokemon battles, there just wasn’t a spectator sport about it unless in the anime or movies. they’re just a thing that happens that none of the npcs care about. 

finally its treated like the spectator sport that it should be. like,,, hell yeah,,, 

(also do you think that in the pokemon universe there’s various stories/tv shows about made up kids completing the league and becoming champions? because i definitely do.)

6. dynamaxing. its so goddamn satisfying to finish off a gym battle with your best pokemon as a fucking giant behind you, no matter their actual size. tiny pyukumuku behind you? badass. huge ass wailord? bad. ass. an actual baby pokemon? bad. ASS.

i p much summed up most of my thoughts in this point well. but i love when pokemon are so visibly powerful. like these creatures have powers that we’d equate to actual gods like summoning whole storms, creating giant waves, create earthquakes and so much more. pokemon are so powerful and to see them become giant and have so much weight and power? its so satisfying controlling that and bringing down other giant pokemon. 

7. the wild area. introducing camping was a good system, it definitely helped a lot when you couldn’t exactly jump back to a pokemon center so you cook your pokemon some curry to revive and heal them. i imagine they took some inspiration from breath of the wild, tho i haven’t played it to really confirm.

i really appreciated the change that started in pokemon let’s go with some pokemon being visible and easy to encounter wandering through the grass. it makes it so much easier to search for the one pokemon that you don’t have in your pokedex yet, or if you’re looking for a specific pokemon to join your team.

i love how large and expansive the wild area is, and with the camping system you can just explore and fill out your pokedex without ever leaving if you’re fully stocked up on supplies. it makes you really believe the whole “yep this kid isn’t just blasting through the whole thing in one day”. kids sleep in tents on their journey with their pokemon and cook curry for them all. adds a nice level of immersion and convenience. 

.

jesus fuck this is so long and i haven’t even gotten to my criticisms yet, is anybody actually reading this chunk of text??? well rip to you my friend and thank you. but now on w the bad junk.

1. they cut so many corners in the game, you can definitely tell it was made in a hurry.

they did a decent job considering it was in development for only two years w one only for the concept and the second actually making it. but they cut so many corners it doesn’t quite feel like a true installment into the pokemon universe. it feels like it was made by another dev studio rather than gamefreak. like how fallout new vegas and fallout 3 barely feel like the two installments in the same franchise. 

this point sort of leads into many different points that i raised, so i’ll explain those a little bit more in depth there. but to sum it up, the easiest way to see it is just how...flat things are. if you only pay attention to the things the game directs you to, then you will not miss a single thing. flavor text is less about adding depth to the world and more just...pointless. it adds. nothing.

and in the post game when sonia gets a new assistant, even though she plays a fairly important part in the post-game plot, she doesn’t get a name nor a unique character model. she get’s a generic doctor model yet it’s treated like we should feel betrayed that nameless npc 234 went behind sonia’s back and stole from her. 

OH! and i almost forgot!!!! but that one part where rose is trying to talk leon into something “mysterious”??? they straight up just used images!!!! like,,,, what???? you didn’t have time to program the minimal animations for that?? who’s fault is that for pushing the release!!! give your employees time to work at a decent pace and not crunch them to reach an impossible goal. game freak, you don’t have to release a game every november.

2. a minor note here, but for me i have this annoying bug that makes it so some pokemon have the exact same cry. its a sort of whooshing noise that you’d expect for a flying type pokemon, but it frequently appeared instead of well known and familiar cries. i can’t pin down exactly what the cause of this is, or if i’m hearing things wrong, but it was infuriating.

also p much just explain this in the point. BUT it happened all. the. time. the only pokemon i know for sure was effected by the bug was gyarados, because instead of the roaring cry i heard the whooshing sound that was probably meant to be another pokemon’s cry. it sounds wack when im saying it rn bc im not 100% convinced i wasn’t making this up, but it was the sole reason i turned the pokemon cries to get drowned out by the music and sound effects.

3. the towns are empty and barely even give you flavor text anymore. you might as well not speak to any npcs except shop keepers and named characters.

i touched on this previously in 1 but basically walking around a town and talking to npcs will not get you any interesting dialog. going into the houses/rooms, and you’ll only get one npc who’s all like “i’m brushing my hair!” and that’s about it. there aren’t any items tucked away in houses or corners of buildings for you to explore or battle people. when you acknowledge that there’s no flavor text from npcs all the towns feel practically empty whereas in the previous games it actually alive.

not to mention how little the diaglog changes? like it may just be my faulty memory at play but im pretty sure that the npcs in the previous games had more dynamic dialog in which they’d change what they said depending on your action in the town or for the plot. after a major event just happened, if you walked around and talked to everyone in that area they’d talk about it. but that happened like....once.

4. there is exactly three cute outfits and three cute hairstyles and that’s about it. i know a lot of this point is mostly about personal taste but please nintendo, we had such a good range in the previous game. 

one thing i loved about the series was the increasing freedom in customisation of trainers. fashion kept getting wider and with more variety, clothes that were still cute and i’d frequently have about 2k because i just kept buying them. by the end of my playthrough of swsh i had almost a million saved up because i didn’t like most of the clothing options. i found one outfit and hairstyle i liked a quarter of the way through the game and stuck with it until the end. they drastically cut down on the options, and that sucked. 

5. don’t explore. there is literally no point in looking in all the nooks and crannies of this game, because i guarantee that if the game doesn’t tell you to go there, then there’s nothing there.

again, already touched on this point but one example i know is this. when you go to the energy plant to battle rose, or go to the roof to battle eternus, i expected to go back to it when the event was over to see if something was left behind or because i’d been locked in a cutscene and unable to explore before, that meant there would be something now. but nope. don’t bother. even when you think you might be able to do something fun, don’t try until the game points you in that direction itself. if something interesting is going to happen in the game, i assure you they will point it out for you. 

6.  it’s too easy. it’s....actually crazy that i’m even putting this as a point, because i’m a strict believer in making games playable for everyone. but it’s just....too much.

hard games disinterest me. if a game is renowned for it’s difficulty, then i will avoid it. i don’t care if defeating dark souls is a badge of honor for your stubbornness or skill. i simply don’t enjoy playing a game that makes me want to quit in frustration because i am not good at video games. i appreciated how easy the games have been in recent years because it makes it a lot easier for me to actually complete them and enjoy them, it’s why i have trouble getting into the earlier gens of pokemon. 

but when it got to the point where after only about an hour or two of dynamax farming, by the time that i got round to the championships i was literally one shotting every single pokemon. even when i didn’t have super effective moves. i was almost 20 levels ahead of the competition, and blasted through the whole thing in a total of 10 minutes battle time and 30 minutes dialog and cutscene time, with a 20 minute pause for a phone call. 

i defeated leon with only very minimal struggle. i couldn’t one shot all his pokemon, i will admit. i two shotted them. i went into the championship fully stocked up on potions and revival items and left with all of them. none of my pokemon fainted or even sustained major damage. 

while satisfying feeling that you’re op enough to utterly annihilate your opponents, there comes a point where it’s just “why bother i know i’ll win” which kind of sucks. 

7. the cut down pokedex will forever inject salt right into my veins. especially when they had the audacity to include one of the first starter pokemon, but not the other two. charizard is an okay pokemon but its overrated, nintendo please accept that.

sorry to charizard fans, but please acknowledge that it’s overrated. its design is basic, and already has multiple different forms. the fact that they passed over the opportunity for the creativity that dynamax venusaur or blastoise could give, for another basic dragon design is so annoying. 

not to even mention the fact that they didn’t even bother to keep the rest of the starter pokemon either. i vaguely remember one time some nintendo employee or big shot saying that the best thing about it is that every pokemon is at least one person’s favourite. the underused or underloved pokemon will always be ONE person’s favourite, and that’s why you can get the whole pokedex. but y’know fuck that philosophy in the name of getting the game out on time. when they could have very easily pushed the release date back. i’m lucky that most of my faves got included but i know that a fair amount did not. and i’m pissed. 

8. the plot didn’t exist until suddenly it did and then it made no sense. 

9. i hate the fact that the team in this game were just delegated to fans. i understand the whole “fake out” thing they might have been going for by getting the player to think that they’d turn out to be bad, but no. it just sucks. 

these two go so hand in hand, that i’m taking the time to address them together considering in every single previous game so far the team has had some HEAVY influence on the plot in one way or another. they’re always linked to the legendary pokemon of the game and they’re always included in the overarching plot, either by driving the player to act or subtly there. 

i kept seeing team yell show up and trying to work out how they were going to join the plot. were they a cult doing Science Shit in the background trying to revive the legendaries? was marnie the leader of this cult and going through the league to distract people from her totally devious going-ons? or would it turn out that marnie though the team harmless but really it was a front for her relative’s secret cult? 

nope!!! they were annoying roadblocks who added literally nothing to the plot. 

and when i realised that, it was the seventh gym battle and so far the only plot i’d glimpsed at was the mysterious explosions in hammerlocke city and the overarching tale of the sword and shield that had been obvious since literally the first time sonia started to talk about it. there had been no plot. there was literally no plot other than the gym battles which sonia and leon specifically called out to “leave this to the grownups, you two just focus on the gym challenge”. 

and when i got my eighth badge and was completing the equivalent of the elite four, i was still confused as FUCK because where the hell was the plot???? and then the whole weird ass “we have to save leon” from a meeting with.....a chairman? how about you wait just an hour jfc it’s not that bad? he’s not being held against his will? the chairman wasn’t doing anything obviously evil or even hinted at? 

the whole thing was vague and rose’s motivation was just ??????? i don’t know???? i still don’t exactly know what the whole deal was. it came out of nowhere and made. no. sense. it had completely lost me. along with the fact that they were suddenly introducing dynamax raids like we hadn’t already been doing that so many times in the wild area????

which leads me to my next point.....sigh. 

10. fucking. swordward and shieldbert. i???? literally. have no. words. (i do but they’re super long so hmmm down below)

first things first, is that i hate everything about these characters. from their names, to their designs, to their motivations, to how they’re handled in canon. it was shitty and while i had fun playing with the whole “this is what a champion does after they beat the previous one” thing, it was just in general really bad. 

like, i cannot get over how shitty their designs were. their hair was literally a sword and a shield. i kept thinking “wow swordward has a penis head that wiggles when he moves” and couldn’t take a single thing he said seriously. i literally wanted to weep at the horrible character design. 

not to mention the suddenness of their whole schtick. “yeah we’re royalty and we’re “”””CELEBRITIES”””” even if none of you have heard of us”. like what????? the fuck????

it just sort of pisses me off to an astronomical degree that this low quality shit was jammed into a pokemon game when they were getting so good at storytelling. it felt like game freak were hammering me with a club while singing “YOU PAID 50 WHOLE POUNDS FOR THIS IN PARTICULAR!!!” like,,,, thanks. thank you. thank you for waiting until after i’d finished the game to really hammer home that point. 

which somewhat leads me to my last point that really just sums up the majority of my thoughts on the whole game:

11. a game worth about £20 ($25) less than i paid for it. its a decent quality game, but not nearly nintendo quality. 

if i knew what i knew about the game know, i wouldn’t pay fifty fucking pounds for it. it physically pains me to spend more than £30 in one sitting, that i actually winced while i was buying it even though i was being 100% optimistic that i was going to love it. at most i’d pay £30 for it, but only then. it’s a good game to really distract you and power through but other than that, i don’t see it as a game i’m going to come back to so i can complete the pokedex and i certainly am not going to buy the other game so i can play it again unlike how i’ve done in the past with my favourite installments. 

maybe i’m just picky, or i don’t buy games often enough, but i really would not classify this as a quality installment in the pokemon franchise. if you get a free copy, or just the opportunity to play it for a few hours then fine it’s a great game. but not quite something you should want to spend your money on. but don’t pirate it. that’s a fast way to get bugs.

to sum this whole mess of a post up: immediately after finishing the game i said to myself “now time to go play a REAL pokemon game” before booting up pokemon moon.

[artemiala]

really ridiculously detailed character stats.

FULL NAME: Shirona Tatiyana Matsumoto. NICKNAME(S): Cynthia, Cynth, Tati, Champ.   AGE: ranges from 22-23 (ingame platinum) to 31 (present day) MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE: intj. BIRTH DATE: october 23, 1986 ETHNICITY: sinnohese (northern japanese) & russian  PLACE OF BIRTH: celestic town, sinnoh GENDER IDENTITY: cis female PREFERRED PRONOUN(S): she/her SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual RELIGION: agnostic, with heavy arciest influences  OCCUPATION: ancient mythology researcher and anthropologist, sinnoh league champion, pokemon trainer FACE CLAIM: canon

Relationships

PARENTS: mother, dr. dariya statnik-matsumoto, a pokebiologist and environmental scientist based out of sakhalin. father, dr. giichi matsumoto, a paleographologist and researcher of ancient languages, based out of ruins of alph, johto.  SIBLINGS: mariya matsumoto, 5 years younger. aspiring contest star. SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): shrugs?  CHILDREN: looks over @ dppt protags (cynthia voice) I’m a proud mother of 2 LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: fairly experienced, but still somewhat awkward. STORY OF FIRST KISS: long and unpleasant. had to do with a playground dare.    A SOCIAL PERSON? not in the least, but good at pretending to be friendly. HOW DO THEY THINK OTHERS PERCEIVE THEM? an institution. a symbol of the region. a person of great responsibility, someone to hold accountable for the reputation of sinnoh as a whole. someone who knows a great deal about the region’s history and mythology.  HOW DO OTHERS ACTUALLY PERCEIVE THEM? a peculiar, complex, and sometimes confusing individual. temperamental. more withdrawn and distant than she lets on. an enigma, a mystery, a riddle with no answer. a strong heart, at odds with a strong mind.  

Physical Traits

EYE COLOR(S): dark steel grey, with some flecks of warm brown.  HAIR COLOR(S): a strong golden blonde.   HEIGHT: 5′9″ (175 cm) WEIGHT: 160 lbs (73 kg) BODY BUILD: curvy, soft; not unhealthy, but not wholly slender.  GLASSES? CONTACTS? occasional reading glasses when she’s strained her eyes over small text for too many hours. STYLE OF DRESS/TYPICAL OUTFITS: high fashion gothic. all black, all the time.  JEWELRY? TATTOOS? PIERCINGS? has a tattoo of the arcean religion’s symbol on her inner right arm and an ancient gnostic prayer along her spine.  ATHLETIC? enough to have respectable endurance and strength when walking for long periods of time, but not particularly talented in sports or any other athletic challenges. HOW DO THEY WALK: with grace, poise, and determination. HOW DO THEY SMELL LIKE: bergamot and musk, with hints of eucalyptus. almost masculine in scent. WHAT’S THEIR POSTURE LIKE? perfect, always.

Phobias and Diseases

PHOBIA(S): ordontophobia, specifically in the context of lost teeth/losing a tooth. it’s always freaked her out.  MENTAL DISEASE(S): generalized anxiety disorder, but mild enough to not warrant formal diagnosis and treatment.  PHYSICAL DISEASE(S): mild nearsightedness, undiagnosed and treated with reading glasses when eyes are too strained. persistent adult acne on shoulders and back.  WHEN WAS THIS DIAGNOSED? none are formally diagnosed.  

Intellect

LEVEL OF EDUCATION: master’s degree in eastern religious studies and bachelor’s in anthropology by ingame platinum. doctorate in religious anthropology by sumo/usum. received her k12 education in public school.  LEVEL OF SELF-ESTEEM: steady, with some major points of weakness, such as an extreme sensitivity about her skin.  GIFTS/TALENTS: wide breadth of knowledge pertaining to sinnohese mythology and history. a fast learner, and competent intellectual. highly esteemed pokemon trainer and battle strategist.   SHORTCOMINGS: arrogance, hubris, rejection of dissenting points of view without careful consideration for their implications. can be arbitrary in her decisions. STYLE OF SPEECH: hokkaido dialect japanese with very formal intonation around children and when in polite adult company. replaces all temptations to “um” or “er” with a pause of silence. Inquisitive, both because of her own nature and due to the hokkaido dialect. clear, almost native pronunciation of her second and third languages, russian and english.  “LEFT BRAIN” OR “RIGHT BRAIN” THINKER: Both, but can lean more heavily on her left.  ARTISTIC? Excellent observer and sketcher. Not much artistic talent beyond that.  MATHEMATICAL? Exceptional statistician, terrible at algebra and calculus. MAKES DECISIONS BASED MOSTLY ON EMOTIONS, OR ON LOGIC? usually logic, but weighs her emotions as well.  MOST SENSITIVE ABOUT/VULNERABLE TO: judgement of her and her image that scratches below the surface. it’s hard to hit the nail on the head with her, but when you do, it really hurts.  OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST? generally leans optimist.  EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? introvert, but good at faking extrovert.

Details/Quirks

NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD? night owl. LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER? heavy sleeper. FAVORITE FOOD: coffee? ice cream? sweets? ramen?  LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: pickled cabbage. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee  CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER? smooth! LEFTY OR RIGHTY? left handed. FAVORITE COLOR? black.  CUSSER? only if she’s snapped. SMOKER? DRINKER? DRUG USER? social drinker. PETS? her pokemon!!

tagged by: I just stole it ok tagging: steal it from me too!

[echoeternally]

Fresh Air (Fanfic)

Hello again, followers and readers! I have another Pokemon one-shot that I’d like to post up. This one is about Quagsire, and how he was inspired to become a knight for the Iceberg Empire.

It offers a little characterization to Empoleon and Abomasnow, and focuses on Quagsire as a Wooper. And, like the others, it’s quasi-canon, with more the idea than the actual word-for-word context being canon.

It’s not too long, and will be posted below the cut, so click “Keep Reading” to enjoy a new one-shot!

Shrouded within a frozen palace in the northern regions, an emperor penguin sat on his throne and heavily sighed. He stared at the ceiling high above him, and muttered to himself. Gazing at the banners on the sides of the walls, he straightened up as the door creaked open. A large, tree-like yeti wandered down the throne room, one arm stuck rubbing behind his head, as he approached the emperor.

 “Report, General.” The penguin’s gaze narrowed.

 “…Emperor Empoleon—”

 “Report, General Abomasnow,” repeated the penguin.

 “As you wish.” Abomasnow sighed. “Two knights went missing today, on the search for the past four that we lost over a week ago. This puts your royal army ranks down to…five knights, as of now.”

 Empoleon squeezed his eyes shut, and held a tightened grip on his throne.

 “…The rest, General.”

 “Sire, what’s the point—?”

 “My point, Abomasnow,” thundered Empoleon, “is that I have continued the long held tradition of losing soldiers not to war, but to a vast white wasteland. And until I have a day that you come in here and report that we’ve lost no soldiers out there, I will continue to torment myself to the news of every lost soul that will never return, and drown in the guilt for doing so.”

 “Why, sir?” Abomasnow shook his head. “What do we need from the Frozen Fields? Surely we could find alternatives to the crops and minerals found out there.”

 “Our most critical resources from there are the medicinal herbs,” reminded Empoleon. “Without them, our people would suffer from the backlash of this horrid weather.”

 “Perhaps relocation is in order for those that cannot withstand it?” Abomasnow frowned at Empoleon’s dark glare. “Very well, that’s a fair counterpoint, sire. However, we have not been able to procure a Revival Herb in years.”

 “Can we still craft Heal Powder?”

 “Of course, sir. We have enough for Energy Powder, at least.”

 “Then every effort is worth it.”

 “For that bitter trash?”

 “For people to live.”

 “Honestly, I do believe my solution is the better of ours,” grumbled Abomasnow. “But, that is not my place to argue.”

 “Would you need me to detail the other reasons that we need our resources from there?”

 “No need.” Abomasnow folded his heavy arms and raised an eyebrow at his emperor. “Sire…is another reason we send troops out there…is it based on those legends as well?”

 “Of?”

 “You know, those…those myths.” Abomasnow shifted his weight around, as he locked eyes with Empoleon. “Like that fairy tale about the blue rose of the damned lovers, the one about the time jumper, those blasted blades—”

 “As I recall, the legend for that one states the location is closest to the Mountain Monarchy,” recalled Empoleon. “…Or are they sticking with that new name of Mountains Queendom, still? I can never—”

 “Sire, you’re off point.”

 “Ah, yes.” Empoleon shook his head. “At any rate, discovering any kind of artifacts or truths to those stories would be a greatly gained bonus, but no, they are not the primary objective as to why we are out there.”

 “Good.” Abomasnow tugged on loose fur from his head. “Your grandfather—”

 “Was obsessed with them, and they claimed that my father would follow in his footsteps,” recited Empoleon. “To which, however, he never did.”

 “Well—”

 “He never did,” harshly repeated Empoleon.

 “Right, of course not.” Abomasnow lowered his head and bowed. “Do you require anything else, milord?”

 “No, Abomasnow. That will be all.”

 Nodding, the yeti general pivoted and made his way back across the throne room. He stopped about half way and turned back.

 “What did you forget, General?” Empoleon’s question rang out before Abomasnow moved another step toward him.

 “Actually, we do have a new recruit,” revealed Abomasnow. “He comes from the southern lands, the marshes.”

 “From where?” Empoleon shook his head. “Why in the gods’ names would he come all of the way out here?”

 “Haven’t a clue, milord.” Abomasnow shrugged. “He passed each of my tests, however, and he more than fulfills the requirements at becoming a knight. On top of that, he’s a strong swimmer as well, something that you told me I needed to collect more of, yes?”

 “Correct, but…” Empoleon shook his head. “Here, as in outside now?”

 “Yes, sire.” Abomasnow tugged at the fur nearest his mouth. “Shall I bring him in, or have him come back later, or not at all, or—”

 “Send him in,” decided Empoleon. “Just him, you need to continue training the other soldiers. If I finish with him in time, I’ll send him over to you.”

 “Very well, sire. Thank you, sire.”

 Bowing again, Abomasnow turned back around and made his way from the throne room. The doors closed and Empoleon sat alone for a moment, rubbing his beak before standing from his throne.

 The doors at the far end opened again, as a giant salamander ambled through them. He wore a small smile, and tired eyes, as he made his way into the throne room.

 “Your name?”

 “Quagsire, milord,” introduced the salamander.

 “Tell me, why the smile?”

 “This is a nice empire, and better than my old home,” divulged Quagsire. “I’ve also been told that it’s better to smile to leave a good impression.”

 “Not something that you should freely admit to, but yes.” Empoleon narrowed his eyes as he studied the approaching salamander. “You do realize this would be your new home, and not the Grass Fields Kingdom, correct?”

 “Yes, I understand.”

 “Why would you not become a knight at the castle down there?”

 “Coming up here was better for me.” Quagsire slowed to a halt as he reached the base of the throne’s plateau. “It’s quieter out here.”

 “Quiet isn’t always better,” countered Empoleon. “Has General Abomasnow explained our weakened forces?”

 “They die out in the Frozen Fields.”

 “He explained enough, then.” Empoleon folded his wings together. “And this…doesn’t dissuade you?”

 “Nope.” Quagsire shrugged. “I’m a knight and soldier. If my life isn’t at risk, my job isn’t required.”

 “That’s…certainly one way to put it, yes.” Empoleon blinked and released his wings. “You’ll need to explain this more to me.”

 “What would you like to know?”

 Empoleon’s deep blue eyes fixated on Quagsire’s soft dark eyes, as he tapped a wing against his beak.

  Further south of the Grass Fields Kingdom, a small Wooper groaned as a clatter woke him from his rest. He sighed and stood from his grassy cushion by the river, and blinked at the sky. A burning sun overhead caused the little blue axolotl to squint, and he strolled to take a dip in the water.

 “Oh…”

 Wooper grumbled as he slipped into the warm river, much too warm for his tastes. He sulked as he sank down in the water, almost able to stand in his shallow spot.

 “Hey, check this out!”

 Shutting his eyes, the Wooper waited until a splash erupted from nearby, covering his face with droplets. He slowly opened them as a small blue crocodile with red spines on his head burst out from the water beside him.

 “Wasn’t that so cool guys?!”

 “Ha, not bad,” complimented a dark blue frog with orange cheeks. “But you should try something more flashy, like this!”

 Back flipping, the frog flailed in the air as he crashed into the water, with his splash hitting Wooper once again. He popped out and wrestled with the crocodile, as the two laughed and shoved one another back and forth in the water. Wooper drifted further down the river, but was promptly smacked as the crocodile flew into him.

 “Ha, I win again, Totodile!”

 “Sorry about that,” apologized the crocodile to Wooper.

 “It’s fine,” mumbled Wooper.

 “Ha, it’s just a little Wooper, Totodile, don’t worry about it!” The frog bounced forward and splashed at Wooper’s face. “These things crash into logs and debris all over the water, all the time!”

 “Uh, that’s not—”

 “Croagunk, are you and Totodile done wrestling in this sludge?”

 A ball of blue vines pushed past the tall grass, and walked to the river’s edge. Only eyes were visible from a dark patch in the vines.

 “We practically just got in here, Tangela,” snapped Croagunk.

 “Ugh, so?” She rolled her eyes and whipped some of her vines out. “How long do you even need in there? What, do you want to be like that Wooper, and just vanish into the water forever?”

 “Ew, we’re not that bad,” defended Croagunk. “Right, Totodile?”

 “Well, I don’t think that Wooper—”

 “See, he agrees.” Croagunk splashed water at Tangela, who shrieked and jumped back. “Ha, what, afraid of getting wet?”

 “If I hadn’t just had a nice mud bath, certainly, but I’m already cleaned proper,” argued Tangela. “So, if you two don’t mind, keep your filthy water in that swamp!”

 “Actually, a swamp has more forest and trees around it,” corrected Wooper.

 “Exactly who are you to tell me that I’m wrong?!” Tangela huffed and slapped her extended vines against grass blades, flinging some at Wooper. “You’re just a dopey little salamander!”

 “Wow, look at you getting so bothered by him,” teased Croagunk.

 “He’s so weird, why are you even near one?”

 “He was just in here.”

 “All the more reason for you two to get out!” She moaned and backed from the water, before Croagunk could splash her again. “Don’t! I’m serious!”

 “Ah, you’re no fun. Come on, Totodile.”

 Croagunk pushed from the water, and turned to wait for Totodile. The little crocodile frowned, as he glanced back to Wooper, before following the frog from the water. Both shook the water from their bodies, as Tangela tried to block droplets from hitting her. She failed to hear a tiny bud stroll up behind her.

 “Hi Tangy!”

 Shrieking again, Tangela’s vines slapped the small bud into the river. Crashing in, she wailed and squirmed in the river, and Wooper tried to swim to the flower bud.

 “Geez, Tangela, you drowned her!”

 “She snuck up on me!”

 Totodile hurried back to the water’s edge, but a vine wrapped around him, dragging him back. Another wrapped around Croagunk and squeezed him tight as well.

 “Quick, we’re getting out of here!”

 Dragging her companions off, Tangela disappeared into the tall grass with them. Wooper yelped as the bud splashed water in his face, forcing him back.

 She squealed as a long and thin pink tongue wrapped around her body. It lifted her from the water and helped her back onto the grass by the river.

 Standing in the shallows again, Wooper watched as the bud was set down next to a blue and tan toad. The tongue retreated from the bud and slipped back into the toad’s mouth.

 “Are you ok, little one?”

 “Y-yes.” The bud sniffled and whimpered.

 “Hey now, no need to cry.” The toad nuzzled the small bud. “Why don’t we get you home to your parents, ok?” Sniffling again, the bud nodded to him. “Good. What’s your name?”

 “B-Budew.”

 “Budew, such a pretty name. I’m Palpitoad.” He smiled to her, and waited as she smiled back up to him. “There we go, that’s better. And who is that there, in the water?”

 Blinking, Wooper shook his head. Budew twirled around and stared at him for a moment. She swayed around, but spun back to Palpitoad.

 “No idea!”

 “Hm? He’s not your friend?”

 “Nope!”

 “Huh.” Palpitoad stepped forward to Wooper, who slumped down in the shallow water. “Did you knock her in?”

 “It wasn’t him!” The bud bounced around. “It was those bullies, Tangy and her mean friends!”

 “Tangy?” Palpitoad faced Budew again.

 “Yeah, she has vines!”

 “…A…Tangela?”

 “Yeah, yeah!”

 “Ah, that makes sense.” He turned back and smiled to Wooper. “Well, that means you tried to save her, huh?” Mouth open, Wooper quickly nodded. “Good effort, at least. Though, you’re pretty young too, so make sure you’re careful as well.”

 With a nod to Wooper, Palpitoad returned his attention to Budew. She bounced and swayed, almost waving to Wooper, as the two turned away.

 “Take me to where you live, and I’ll help you find your parents, ok?”

 “Ok!”

 Together, the pair vanished behind the tall grass as well. Wooper heavily sighed, and climbed from the river. Yawning, he crawled back to his grassy cushion, with the grass blades scattered about.

 Shaking his head, Wooper pushed clumps of mud together instead, and patted it with his tail. Creating a small nest for himself, he curled into it to sleep once again.

 More yelling, however, woke him up again, and Wooper’s strained dark eyes snapped open as two ducks now quacked and splashed around in the water together. Groaning softly, Wooper retreated from the river and shoved through the tall grass.

 Working through the tall plants around him, Wooper pushed around and shuffled to a clearing filled with small berry trees. He wandered close to a short pink one, and plucked a tiny red berry with a yellow base. Eating it quickly, Wooper plucked the remaining berry, and the tree swayed as he ate the last berry it offered.

 He worked his way to the next pink colored tree, as his belly growled again, and drooled as he came close to a round, blue berry sitting in it. A vine slapped him back and forced him away.

 “Stupid Wooper! That’s my Oran Berry!”

 Shaking his head, Wooper blinked and stared at Tangela, as she tugged three Oran Berries from the tree. Croagunk and Totodile waddled up beside her.

 “There’s enough here for all of us,” complained Wooper. “You don’t have to be rude.”

 “Ugh! Are you seriously talking back to me?!” Tangela scoffed. “You’re just a common Wooper, nothing beneath me! My family comes from a noble house!”

 “One that’s ranked far beneath the royal family.”

 “Shut up, Croagunk!” She cracked a vine at him. “You’re lucky to even be anywhere near me either!”

 “Yeesh, relax, princess.” Croagunk rolled his eyes. “Anyway, just knock the pest out of here.”

 “He’s right, though,” argued Totodile. “We have more than enough berry trees to eat from here.”

 “Totodile, don’t side with common peasants,” snapped Tangela. “That’s certainly beneath your station too.”

 “That’s besides the point, though.”

 “Hey, it’s a pest in the princess’s way,” chimed in Croagunk. “You want to tell her no?”

 “She’s not even a princess—”

 “Compared to everyone here, I might as well be!”

 “That doesn’t even make sense.”

 “Nobody asked you!” Tangela fumed and whipped at Wooper again, who yelped and jumped back. “Now, either you get out of here, or we’ll be forced to take action!”

 “Tangela—”

 “You two had better help me,” she snapped to her companions, “especially if you want to eat any berries too!”

 “Yeah, yeah, you got it, princess,” mocked Croagunk, facing Wooper. “I’ll take care of him.”

 Croagunk puffed out his cheeks, as Wooper backed away, shuddering. Tangela cracked her vines again, and laughed as Wooper leapt away from another whip.

 “This will be easy!”

 “That will be enough.”

 From the shuddering grass near the clearning, Palpitoad emerged. He hurried over to Wooper’s side.

 “And who are you supposed to be?”

 “Just a very concerned toad.” He narrowed his eyes against the trio. “Do we have a problem here?”

 “Just eradicating a minor pest,” quipped Tangela.

 “Right, so, problem then.” Palpitoad rolled his eyes. “Very well, let’s get on with it.”

 “H-huh?”

 “You’re battling with him, right?” Palpitoad nodded. “Battle him, you’re battling me too.”

 “B-but…you’re so much older…”

 “So your point is…?”

 “That it’s not fair!”

 “There are three of you.”

 “But you’re older and probably at a higher level!” Tangela stomped the ground. “Why are you defending him, anyway? He’s just a common Wooper!”

 “Because I would defend anyone that gets picked on from the likes of you,” spat Palpitoad. “Now, you three against us, let’s have at it.”

 “Not a chance.” Totodile shook his head. “They’re the ones picking on Wooper. I’m going home after today, and I’d rather not get into any more trouble.”

 “More trouble?” Palpitoad stepped forward. “You were the ones that knocked Budew into the river after all.”

 “Nah, just her.” Croagunk pointed at Tangela, who smacked him with a vine. “Hey, I’m on your side!”

 “Then act like it!” She pivoted to Totodile. “And what do you think you’re even doing?! Don’t walk away!”

 “Keep your berries, Tangela. If you want to battle for them, go ahead.” Totodile shook his head. “I’m going home tomorrow, and I’m not getting into a fight.”

 Hurrying away, Totodile disappeared from the area. Croagunk shook his head and returned his attention to Palpitoad and Wooper, as poison oozed from his hands. Tangela shivered and loosened her vine whips.

 “F-fine! L-let’s battle them!”

 “But I can’t attack well yet,” murmured Wooper.

 “Don’t worry,” assured Palpitoad. “I know what I’m doing. We’re not that far from the river.”

 “Get them!”

 Running forward, Tangela and Croagunk rushed at the pair. Vibrating his body, Palpitoad stomped the earth, and growled out. Waves of muddy river water burst from past the plants and grass, rushing forward at the pair.

 “W-what?!”

 “Look out!”

 Tangela shrieked as the waves slammed against her and Croagunk, pushing them back and away from the area. Palpitoad smirked and nodded, turning back to Wooper.

 “They’re not much older than you, so it wasn’t tough for me,” soothed Palpitoad. “Pretty cool, huh?”

 “Y-yeah.”

 Wooper blinked as the water dissipated from the clearing, and watched as Palpitoad turned away and began to leave.

 “Um…thank you, for helping.”

 Stopping, Palpitoad turned back and smiled to Wooper. “No problem, kid!” He nodded to the small salamander. “You know, maybe some day, you can defend this place yourself.”

 “Me?” Wooper shook his head. “I don’t like it here.”

 “No? Hmm.” Palpitoad shook his head. “Then, maybe you’ll be able to stick up for others elsewhere one day. I think you’d do well at it.”

 “I just want somewhere quiet,” mumbled Wooper.

 “Well, the best way to find peace is to help make it.” Palpitoad nodded. “I think you understand that better now. After all, there are more like Budew out there. Citizens need someone strong that they can depend on.” He smirked. “Maybe you’re not there yet, but I believe you could be, one day.” Wooper slowly nodded back to Palpitoad. “Great! One day, I hope that others will look up to you! Until then, I need to get going myself. Take care!”

 Taking off, Palpitoad kicked a loose Oran Berry to Wooper. He bid farewell again and left, as the Wooper picked up and ate the berry. He quietly sat in the clearing, and yawned softly, before wandering off once more.

  Empoleon sat back on his throne and tapped on it, as Quagsire yawned.

 “So, you were inspired to help others when you were younger,” he mused aloud.

 “And go somewhere quieter,” reminded Quagsire. “It’s like I can breathe again.”

 “Hm, yes. Well…I suppose, if you would rather be here than Grass Fields, then you’re welcome to stay.”

 “It’s nicer here,” praised Quagsire. “The water is cooler, and the people seem nicer, few as they are.”

 “Yes, I like to think so myself.” Empoleon nodded. “At any rate, we do have healthy ties with Grass Fields, so if ever you wish to return, I’m certain I could have it arranged.”

 “No, sire. Here will be fine.”

 “Very well.” Empoleon stood and lifted a wing forth. “Then, welcome to the Iceberg Empire, Quagsire. And, in time, you may become a valiant knight to our roster.”

 “Thank you, sire.” Another yawn interrupted him before he finished. “I hope to serve your Empire well.”

 “Hopefully. Has General Abomasnow told you where to meet him?”

 “Yes, sire.”

 “Very good. Go to meet him and the others.” Empoleon nodded. “And again, welcome.”

 “I shall. Thank you.”

 For the first time, Quagsire’s smile broadened. He bowed, waved to Emperor Empoleon, and exited the throne room, off to meet the general for training. Empoleon pondered quietly as the new knight disappeared behind his doors, with a soft gust flowing in, and sat back against his throne.

 Perhaps, maybe, this one might last.

A small origin story for Quagsire, yay!

I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned anywhere yet, but Quagsire is the knight that’s been in Empoleon’s ranks the longest, based on the current roster in my fanfic, Melting Gelid Roses.

He’s a gentle character, so I wanted to give him more of an origin that fits him, one that encourages him to help others based on not his immediate decision, but by what he was influenced by. Palpitoad is one that inspired him to eventually decide on knighthood.

There was also some fun to be had with Empoleon and Abomasnow, and by fun, I mean feels. After all, nothing’s more “fun” than leading a kingdom of dying soldiers and citizens, ohoho! ...Well, at least the current roster has been doing well, lately.

A few extra characters that were possibly one-offs, possibly not. Depends on how it’s interpreted. Maybe that will be explained again in the distant future.

For now, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Still working on my other fanfics, but it’s nice to get content out there too.