#i like picturing caitlin putting him out of his misery one day

[pigdemonart]

Dont mind meeeeee just Getting these unova elite brainworms outta my system. I have a lotta thoughts about their dynamics with each other

But also a lot of wild gesturing and incoherent “ouuhghhhhghuhhghghhuuhhhhhh” sounds.

[fa-nfiction]

Thunder #29

September 22nd, 2015

“Heeeey, Teddyboy!” Caitlin squealed and reached out for my boy. I happily let her take over and said hello to Chris, who had also come out in their hallway to greet me. They lived together now and had finally gotten all settled. As I watched them both smiling and cooing at Teddy, I felt a pang of jealousy but managed to keep the feeling inside.

“Wow, it’s become really nice here. And you’ve gotten up pictures. Totally envious right now. Holy sh … I mean, um. Holy ship.” Caitlin laughed at my attempt of not cursing in front of the baby and went to the kitchen to fetch coffee.

“It’s really something, huh? Teddy’s room is still half blue and half pink.” I spoke to Chris, who was now throwing Teddy into the air and catching him safely again. The sound of Teddy’s giggling was like music in my ears.

“You can just stay here, Cassie.” He replied and threw the boy high up, making Teddy giggle again. “Me and Cait can go to yours and paint it the way you want. Or we can take care of THIS big boy … and you can paint it meanwhile.”

“You’re a saint, Chris. Have I ever told you?”

“Plenty of times. But once more will do.” He laughed cheekily and blew a kiss at Caitlin who came into the living room.

“Are you sure you’ll be OK with him? Did you get my Mom’s number?”

“It’s on quick dial. Just like yours. Relax, Cas.” Caitlin replied. “It’s only a couple of hours, I’m sure we’ll manage.”

I sighed and tried to will myself to leave. Leaving Teddy at my mother’s was one thing, but Caitlin and Chris didn’t have children themselves. The worrying and the restlessness I felt inside of myself was becoming unhealthy, and that was why I had to do something about it.

As I stood and watched Chris with my baby, Caitlin went to stand in front of me.

“Cassie? You OK there?”

I nodded but was still lost in thought.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Caitlin already knew. Of course, I had told her everything. I nodded again.

“He had put diapers out in front of my door. And a note. I threw it all out.”

“Jeez, Cas. Someone’s got enough money, huh?”

“I know. It’s crazy expensive. I just couldn’t … I couldn’t have anything from him near me.”

“What did the note say?”

I sighed as I thought of it. “It just said: “Remember I’m here. - M.”

“Ugh.” Caitlin shook her head in sympathy with me.

“Yeah.”

“Well, go and run it out. We’ll take care of your little trooper.”

“I will. Thank you, again.”

“Anytime. See ya later.” Caitlin hugged me and I waved at Teddy from the hallway. He was happily trying to crawl on the floor, while Chris played and teased him. Blissfully unaware of the state of his mother’s mind. 

( … )

I had taken up running after having been away from it for too many years. The last time I ran had been sometime before … before Michael, before Richard, before my baby, all of the things that had shaped the life I was living now. It felt like coming back home after a very long and crazy journey. The wind in my hair, the rain dripping on my skin, the feeling of freedom when I sprinted through my town. When I ran, I felt like nothing and no one could stop me. I was so grateful that I had my mother and my friends to take care of Teddy in the meantime. Every time I felt stressed, every time I felt bitter, every time anything at all was causing me frustration, I called my Mom or Caitlin. They took care of him, and I ran. I simply ran it all out. I was working out back home, too, sometimes with Teddy beside me, happily trying to crawl and tumble as much as I did. It was blissful, but not quite the same. Every day, I felt myself growing stronger and faster. It was like a very, very healthy drug. Every time I’d run, I was an even better mother than before. Currently, that was all I was. To anyone. That’s why I had to do it as well as possible. 

( … )

A few weeks went by. I filled up my days with caring for Teddy and my evenings with writing job applications for when he was going to begin in daycare. I dreaded that day with every fiber of my body, but I didn’t have a choice. I’d always imagined that having kids would be something you did when living somewhere with a white picket fence. Something you did while married to a stable husband to take care of me and our kids. Something I’d have chosen carefully, weighing the pros and cons of having children, and the pros and cons of having them now. I had none of this, and I had done none of this. I was alone, and none of my plans had worked out. When I thought about it, I felt a bubble of bitterness hurting in my stomach. Michael. Everything bad had begun with him. Being let down by Richard hadn’t helped, and having him leave me and break my heart definitely hadn’t helped either.

When the thoughts became really bad, I’d scorn myself and tell myself that I was the cause of all of my misery. Having involved myself with Michael, even though he was uncommitted and lived a way too crazy life. Having cheated on Richard. Not having the guts to get the abortion. Whenever my train of thought reached this point, I began to cry. Teddy was everything, my sole reason of existing. Thinking like this made me feel like the worst mother in history, and I sobbed at the pain I felt at my very core. Whenever the crying had faded out, I ran to his room and checked on him while he was sleeping. Of course, he looked like a precious little angel, sent from somewhere high above to save me from everything bad. I would never regret having him. I would fight every day of my life if only it meant that he was happy. While I stood there, looking at him, he would sometimes awaken from his sleep, and I laid down next to him, both of us falling asleep again. Another day had passed.

 I awoke many times that night, my guilty conscience of having thoughts like this weighing me down like a brick wall. Every time, I had to check on Teddy to see if he was OK, and every time, he awoke and I’d have to tug him in again. Needless to say, by the time it was 6 in the morning, I was more tired than ever before. I had drifted off for a bit, when suddenly, I awoke. This time, it wasn’t because of my conscience or my bad thoughts. I felt like someone was near, and that Teddy was in danger. I looked around, and saw no one. Quietly, I got up from the bed, and looked around in the apartment. Nobody’s here. I’m losing my mind. I’m going mad.

That’s when it hit me to look outside the front door. I armed myself with a knife from the kitchen and went to my door, quietly unlocking it before opening.

Nobody’s here, either. I’m definitely going mad.

But then, I caught a whiff of something. The slightest hint of a man’s cologne, hanging in the air. Memories of sleepless nights and crazy days came back with it, and I knew that he’d been here. Michael.

At my feet, I could see a small package, neatly wrapped in glossy paper. It had a note attached on it as well, and I bent down to see what it said.

“To my Teddy.

Music from when I was a kid. I hope you’ll love it as much as I did.

Lots of love.

Dad.”

The emotions he always seemed to cause came roaring back to me. Anger, bitterness, sadness.I sat down next to the package and felt my eyes welling up with tears. Before they had the chance to leave my eyes, I had found my phone and texted my mother.

 “Take Teddy in an hour? I’m going for a run. - C”

( … )

It had been four days. Four days since his last visit to her flat, and still no sound from her. No texts, no calls, nothing. He wondered whether she’d just thrown out the gifts, never to be seen again. It occupied his mind, day and night, whether he was working or sleeping or trying to make himself busy. Nothing helped, and it felt like he was losing his mind. Yasmin and his co-workers said nothing, of course. The Lord knows they’ve seen me in a worse state than this, he thought. The thought helped him through the work day, but nothing more than that. He was like some kind of robot, serving customers with a blank expression on his face, polishing the glasses, cleaning the counters, taking out the trash. Over and over again, while his thoughts haunted him and her voice resounded in his mind. You ruined everything. Why did you do it.

“Why, indeed.” He spoke lowly to himself while rearranging some bottles of liquor behind the counter. Due to Yasmin’s position as boss, their opening hours had changed. These days, the pub already opened at 2 PM. It’d take a while to get used to that.

“Hm?” Yasmin replied from the other side of the bar. She was shuffling through a stack of papers while simultaneously texting.

“Nothing. Just talking to myself is all.” He stated and tried to make room for a bottle of rum.

“Oy. Customers. I’ll be out in the back if you need me. Wow, look at that-”

He sensed that Yasmin had stopped dead in her tracks and turned to see the customer in question. He understood what had made Yasmin exclaim something like that.

The lady was a bit older than himself, but not much more than 5-10 years. It was hard to tell. He could see from her eyes that she’d seen more than enough of life, but the way her figure looked, the way she dressed, the way she held herself, made her seem a lot younger than her eyes. She wasn’t a tall woman, and yet, her long limbs and cascading, long curly hair made her seem like she was a lot taller than she was. His eyes followed her as she agilely sat on one of the bar stools and put her coat on the stool next to her own.

“And what can I get you, Miss?” He asked and went to where she sat.

“It’s been many years since someone called me Miss.” She replied to him and looked him in the eyes. Her own eyes were a sparkling green color, and he felt like he could stare at them longer than would be considered polite or appropriate. “You’ve might just went and went my day. Thank you. And a soda would be great.”

“Soda for the Miss.” He winked back at her and regretted it immediately. He felt a bit too rusty in this department to do something this cheeky. She didn’t seem to mind it, though.

“Thank you again. Such a nice place you have here.” She said as he handed her a large glass of soda.

“Thank you. I just work here, though. But yeah. It’s nice.” He replied and tried to seem laidback.

“Oh. I had gotten the impression that you owned it. Your name is Michael, right?”

He was surprised at her question, but managed to stay cool.

“It is. How do you know me?”

“Well.” She replied with a smirk. “Small town. Word gets around.”

“Ah.” He felt himself cringe at the reputation he’d made for himself. The infamous period where everything had gone wrong … this was why he’d decided to go to London. And here he was, still. All because of Cassie and the boy. He managed to distract himself from the thought of them and turned his attention back to the lady in front of him.

“I’m sure. I’m not sure we’ve met before, though, Miss …?”

“Eliza. Eliza Warren. And no. We haven’t.”

“It’s a pleasure.” He stretched out his hand and she did the same, greeting him. He hoped that his reputation didn’t scare her away. It had been months since he had actually wanted to flirt or even smile at someone.

“I’m sure.” She smiled back at him and took a sip of the sparkling drink. “Slow day, it seems?”

He shrugged and nodded.

“Usually, we opened at 4 PM. My boss made some changes, and now here we are. It’s alright, though.”

“More time for the individual customer. I don’t mind.” She smirked slightly at him and somehow, she reminded him of Cassie. The warmth in her eyes, the teasing tone of her voice, the way she held herself. Confident and strong.

“Exactly.” He smiled at her in a way that he hadn’t smiled at anyone for a long time. He felt a small hope somewhere inside his core. Maybe things’ll work out. Somehow.

“Do you work all day? It must be quite tiring.” He spotted a bit of English dialect and wondered if she was far away from home.

“It varies. Sometimes I get off at 2 AM. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later.” He answered truthfully and wondered whether she, too, was trying to flirt. It was an awkward way of asking “when do you get off”, but still. He didn’t mind with this one.

“Hm. Must be hard if you have kids, though.”

Her sentence made him think of Teddy and it hurt. Yet, he somehow managed to stay cool.

“I have … I have a boy. He’s almost 6 months. His Mom won’t let me see him, though.”

“Why is that?” She seemed genuinely interested. “Did you do something wrong?”

He chuckled dryly and wished that he hadn’t quit drinking. “You can say that.”

“And she won’t forgive you?”

“Not really, no.” He felt a lump of tears in his throat and cursed on the inside at his weakness. These things are usually the other way around. Crying customers, and bartenders that support them and pour them another drink …

“Children change you. I know. I have a daughter myself.”

“Oh? How old is she?” He was thankful that their conversation changed its course.

“She’s an adult. She lives here in Kenmare, as well.”

“Noo. You have a grown-up daughter? I can’t believe it.” He teased her, but was slightly taken aback by her words. She must have been really young when she had her.

“It’s actually because of her that I’m here.”

“Really? How so?” He hoped and prayed that this wasn’t the mother of someone he’d fucked and forgotten in the past, and whose mother had now come to murder him.

“You see, Michael … I don’t really know how to put this. So I’ll just say it like it is. I’m Cassie’s mother.”

His eyes widened and he took a large step back from the counter. He could not believe what she said, and yet, he could. The way she looked. The way her voice sounded. The confidence in every movement she had … of course. Of course she is.

Unable to speak from the surprise, he simply stood there, looking at her in complete disbelief. She took the chance and spoke again.

“And here’s what I want you to do.”

[jade4813]

Jane Austen’s Emma, Chapter 4

Title: Jane Austen’s Iris

Rating: PG

Synopsis: A Flash AU, inspired by Emma.

Acknowledgment: My thanks go out to @valeriemperez for help editing this story!

Chapters: 4/6

Dear SBL

My SO and I have been together for over ten years. We’ve had a good life together – we’ve never really had any ugly arguments or things we couldn’t work through. The problem is, I’ve realized I just don’t love him anymore. He haven’t done anything wrong; I just somehow fell out of love when I wasn’t looking, and I can’t seem to get that feeling back. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I finally broke down and told him I was unhappy. He convinced me to try counseling, and we’ve been going for over six months, but it isn’t helping. I know if I tell him it’s over, it’ll break his heart and I hate the thought of hurting him like that. But I can’t keep living like this, and I know I’ll only make him miserable if I keep trying. What should I do?

Feeling Alone

Dear Alone

I don’t mean to sound unkind, but I have to be blunt. Reading your letter, it feels like you already know what you’re going to do. Do you want me to tell to do it so you can pretend like the decision was out of your hands? I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.

I don’t know what’s best for you. I can tell you that relationships take work and being in love isn’t the action of a moment. It’s a decision you make over and over. It isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always go according to plan, even with the best of intentions. I can give advice, but at the end of the day, the decision is yours. If you have a counselor, you can talk to them, but you’re still going to be the one to make the decision.

As painful as it has been, I think you’ve done the right thing in being honest with your SO. Now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself. You know what you’re going to do; having someone else say the words isn’t going to make it any easier or keep someone from getting hurt.

He’s a nice man, but I don’t think I’m falling in love with him. The sentiment had come to mind several times over the last couple of days. She accepted it with a slight twinge of regret, smiling at Eddie as he ended the phone call that had interrupted their walk towards the food court. She’d spent every day at the convention center, getting information and conducting interviews for her self-assigned story. Between panels and over lunch, she often spent her time with Eddie. He was smart, funny, charming, and definitely handsome. With a smile that had caught the attention of more than one wandering eye, he was every sane woman’s picture of a perfect man. But she wasn’t falling in love with him.

What was wrong with her?

Iris swallowed her sigh, only halfway listening as he returned to her side and continued escorting her to grab some food. After a few moments, he grabbed her hand, linking his fingers in hers, and gave it a slight squeeze. “You aren’t listening to me at all, are you?” he asked, his eyes filling with laughter, once he had her attention.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly. “I was thinking about – my story.” The lie came after only a slight pause.

He grimaced. “It hasn’t been the most exciting morning, has it? That last lecture on the proper care and maintenance of lab equipment was particularly gripping.”

She flashed him a quick wry smile. The lecture had been as scintillating as it had sounded, delivered in a monotone that had to qualify as a violation of the Geneva Conventions. Making it worse, the lecture fell before lunch but after everyone’s dose of morning caffeine had worn off. She’d tried to hide her yawns throughout; Barry had actually seemed to enjoy the lecture and she hadn’t wanted his enjoyment diminished by her boredom.

“At least this morning’s lecture, C.S.I. Techniques: Hollywood Myths Debunked, was interesting.”

“Still, if my favorite reporter is going to make it through the afternoon, we’ll have to find some way to liven things up for you,” he remarked. Once again, she was astonished at the realization that she wasn’t falling in love with him. The implied affection of his claim – that she was his favorite reporter – should have made her heart soar. Instead, she was flattered by the compliment but not particularly moved by the sentiment.

How could she not be falling in love with him?

Music filtered through the food court windows from outside, and Eddie used his hold on her hand to pull her into his arms, moving her in an impromptu two-step that made her chuckle and momentarily distracted her from her unromantic musings. Whatever her feelings for him, he did seem to be a generally good guy.

He twirled her, releasing her hand, and she came to a stop right in front of Patty and Barry, who were looking at her with wide eyes. Iris laughingly opened her mouth to explain, trying to ignore the realization and implication of the fact that they were once again together, but Eddie was still feeling in a dancing mood. This time, he grabbed Patty’s hand and spun her around, humming off-key to the music.

Barry looked grumpy once again. It seemed he’d been disgruntled a lot lately and Iris hated the uncharitable thought that sprung to mind – that she hoped he was just having a problem at work. She couldn’t bear the thought that he might be jealous that Eddie was dancing with Patty.

“Watch out!” Barry barked, jumping forward to sweep an arm around Patty’s waist. He pulled her out of her spin a second before she careened into a couple carrying full trays of food. “You should pay more attention to your surroundings,” he chided Eddie after making sure Patty had regained her footing.

Eddie moved closer to Patty, apologizing for his oversight and making sure she was okay, while Barry stepped beside Iris. His crossed arms and baleful expression might have put off someone who hadn’t known him most of their life, but Iris was unperturbed. She rested her hand on his arm and murmured in a soothing tone pitched for only him to hear, “They were only having a little fun.”

He shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, and his voice was strained as he retorted, “He’s showing off, you mean. He should pay more attention to what’s going on around him. Patty could have gotten hurt a minute ago!”

Iris jerked as though she’d been burned, her hand falling from his arm as Caitlin’s suggestion came rushing back. She cleared her throat and pretended to fuss with some lint on her shirt so she didn’t have to meet his eye, missing the confused look he shot her way. Her voice was deceptively calm, however, as she offered, “You know, if you’re worried he’s going to make a move on Patty, I don’t think you need to be. They’re just coworkers.”

“Make a move on –?” he echoed. “Wait, you think – you think I have a thing for Patty?”

He sounded so astonished that she braved a quick glance at his face. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape, and the look of surprise on his face seemed so genuine that she felt her heart lift. “Well, Caitlin – that is, Caitlin and I discussed the possibility,” she demurred.

“I can’t believe this,” he muttered, running his hand through his hair. She watched the muscles in his neck move as he swallowed heavily, and then he tried to explain, “I’m not interested in Patty. I mean, she’s great. I like her a lot. But I’m not interested in her like – like that.” He fumbled through the words, his face going increasingly red. She didn’t know what to say in response; the uncomfortable silence that fell between them was so unlike their usual easy rapport, she didn’t know how to break it. Finally, he asked in a soft voice, “Are you trying to set me up with Patty? Is that your next matchmaking project?”

“No!” she yelped too loudly, drawing the attention of some bystanders. Lowering her voice to a more reasonable level, she continued. “That’s not…I’m not trying to set you up with anybody. Honest. I just…Caitlin thought…” She was stumbling over her words, without a clue how to dig herself out of this situation. “I just want you to be happy, Barry. That’s all.”

He made a small sound but didn’t say anything as Eddie bounded to her side. Eddie looped his arm around her waist, but she barely noticed as she tried to read Barry’s expression. His emotions were normally as familiar to her as her own; for years, she had read them like an open book. But now that book was closed to her, and she could find no hint of his thoughts in the lines of his face. Was he interested in Patty after all, and perturbed that Caitlin had guessed?

“We should go out after the last panel tonight,” Eddie suggested with enough enthusiasm to temporarily draw her attention from her unhappy thoughts. “All of us. Central City has to have more to offer than this convention center!”

“Um, right,” Iris answered, trying to hide her misery as Patty sidled up to Barry and he shifted to face her. The movement succeeded in hiding his face from Iris’s view, and she had to wonder if that was purposeful. “I guess I know a club we could go to,” she suggested slowly.

Barry murmured something to Patty, and the two ignored Eddie as they melted into the crowd. If the other man noticed their lack of enthusiasm for his plan, he gave no indication. Instead, he exclaimed, “Great!” and grabbed Iris by the waist with both arms to spin her around. Under normal circumstances, his excitement would be infectious. However, while his antics had brought her laughter a few moments before, now it was all she could do to fake a smile. He dipped her, and she forced a laugh as she looked into his bright blue eyes.

It’s too bad I’m not falling in love with him. Things would be so much easier if I were.

She was in a better mood that evening as Eddie led her through the crowd and onto the dance floor. It was perhaps a shame she couldn’t imagine a future with him, but that didn’t mean she didn’t or couldn’t enjoy his company. As for Barry, she hadn’t had a chance to talk to him since their earlier conversation, but she’d decided to take his statement at face value – even if Caitlin seemed determined to put doubt into her mind, suggesting he had perhaps protested too much.

She tried to lose herself in the moment, but it didn’t take her long to realize Eddie was craning his neck to look around the crowd. “Looking for someone?” she asked.

He startled, his eyes dropping back to hers as he spun her around. After a momentary pause, he explained, “Ah, well, I’m looking for Spivot, actually. I heard she was sent a diamond necklace, and I wanted to ask her about it.”

Her interest piqued, she prodded with raised eyebrows, “How did you hear about that? Anyway, I thought you didn’t know her very well. What does it matter if she was sent a necklace?”

Eddie lifted his shoulder in a slight shrug. “Just heard a rumor somewhere, I guess. I wouldn’t normally care, but –” he paused and then dropped his voice to a conspiratorial murmur, pulling her forward until she was pressed against him. Resting his hand on her lower back and continuing to move to the beat, he whispered in her ear, “You know she just transferred into my division. Rumor is, when she was in her last position, she had an affair with her partner, Frank Dixon. They tried to keep it quiet because that kind of fraternization is against regulation, but maybe now that she’s not in his department any longer, they’ve decided to be more open about their relationship.”

Iris was a little taken aback, as much by the fact that he was sharing such a rumor with her as anything else. “But if they no longer work together, surely that’s not a problem,” she protested.

He shook his head. “Maybe not, but as her superior, I have to make sure that’s all it is. If things have changed and she’s now dating someone within our division, that is my business. I have to make sure that isn’t the case.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” she conceded, nibbling gently at her lower lip, her enjoyment of the dance ruined. She didn’t particularly care who Patty was dating, but if it led to Barry getting hurt…

“Anyway, I’m dancing with the most beautiful woman in this place tonight, and the last thing I want to do is talk about Spivot. I’m more interested in you. You know, I’m usually bored by these yearly conventions with their endless lectures, but meeting you has really made the entire trip worthwhile.”

“I’m glad I met you, too,” she responded, keeping her tone noncommittal. She didn’t want to imply more than she felt, but her words were true. She was glad to have made a new friend. Eddie grinned and spun her around once more.

When he pulled her back against him, she looked up and was shocked to see Linda approach the bar. She had texted Linda earlier about coming out but was told she had other plans. Iris assumed Linda’s plans had fallen through and thought little of it, until she saw the sadness on her friend’s face. She stopped dancing, ready to join her side to find out what was wrong. However, she paused when she saw Barry was trailing Linda through the crowd. As they moved towards the dance floor, he put his arm around her shoulders and said something into her ear that made her smile, and Iris relaxed and allowed Eddie to pull her back into the dance.

A while later, as she, Cisco, and Caitlin were goofing off on the dance floor, Iris looked around for Linda and Barry, wanting to invite them to join in. Barry was nowhere to be found, but Linda was waiting for a drink refill at the bar. A group of three men shoved in next to her and one said something that made her shake her head. They weren’t deterred by her rejection, however. The leader of the group said something that seemed to offend her, as Linda’s shoulders tensed with anger and she shot back a retort. Seeing what was happening, Iris shoved between Caitlin and Cisco and charged to her friend’s rescue.

Just then, Eddie scooted in front of Linda, cutting in front of her unwelcome companions. There was a brief exchange as the instigator said something to the back of Eddie’s head and he shot a retort over his shoulder. The trio shifted and traded looks. When Eddie grinned and said something else, they finally shuffled away. At the sight of Linda’s laugh and the teasing punch to Eddie’s shoulder, Iris could have kissed him.

It was at just that moment that Iris stopped in her tracks and it struck her. Eddie wasn’t the right guy for her, but what about Linda? She was momentarily distracted as Caitlin and Cisco barreled into her from behind, ready to join her in coming to Linda’s defense.

Iris turned to throw them a relieved smile and was surprised at the sight of her brother, who was standing right behind them. “Wally! What are you doing here?” she asked with a gasp.

Wally had been looking towards the bar, but he lowered his eyes to hers and threw her a tight smile. “I, uh, I was looking for – for you,” he explained haltingly. At her expectant look, he continued just as awkwardly, “I, um, just thought I’d stop by and see if you were here, I mean. Just wanted to, uh, say hi.”

“Oh, okay,” she replied weakly, throwing him a small, confused frown. Feeling the awkwardness of the exchange, she stepped forward and gave him a quick hug. “I’m glad to see you, of course! I would have invited you out, but I thought you said you had a date tonight.”

Wally scowled. “I did,” he grumbled, returning the embrace.

“It didn’t go very well?” she asked as she pulled away.

He was glum as he explained, “I really like her, Iris, but she doesn’t think I’m serious about –” his voice trailed off, his scowl deepening as he focused on something over her shoulder. His eyes were sad as he finished, “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have – I’m gonna head home.”

“Wally!” she cried, reaching out for his arm. She’d never seen him like this before, and her heart ached for him. If only she could make his pain go away.

“I’ll be okay, Iris,” he reassured her with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I mean, she’s probably right. I’ve gotten over all my other girlfriends so easily, I’ll have forgotten her too by tomorrow.”

“Do you really believe that?” she demanded in an undertone, her hand tightening on his sleeve.

Wally opened his mouth to answer, but he simply sighed and shrugged instead. After another quick glance over her head, he grimaced and pulled away, walking out without another word.

Iris would have followed, but he didn’t seem to want company. Remembering her previous purpose, she turned around and stretched onto her toes to look towards the bar. Linda was still there, engrossed in conversation with Eddie. They seemed to be hitting it off, even without Iris’s interference.

Something was going right this evening, at least.

[theartofdreaming1]

Loveable Nerds and Superheroes II - Chapter 4: Date Night

Pairing: WestAllen

Rating: T

Summary: Mason approaches Iris with a story he’s currently working on that could be quite of interest to her... also, it’s the day of Barry and Iris’s date! :) Chapter 1 can be found here, 2 here and 3 here.

The next morning, Iris was back at her desk at CCPN. She was currently contemplating what issue she should tackle for her next article (while also mentally going through a list with everything she still had to prepare for tonight's date with Barry) when all of a sudden, a plate with a Danish was shoved right in front of her face -

“Not a bad job with that story on those real estate frauds, West,” Iris's mentor, Mason Bridge, said, expectantly looking at Iris and the pastry he was offering to her.

“Um, thanks,” she replied mystified, blindly accepting the dish in front of her – Mason wasn't exactly big on giving compliments (or sharing any sort of food). In fact, just a month ago he had completely dismissed any of Iris's attempts to get some sort of advice from her assigned mentor, snidely pointing out that any idiot with a laptop could write a blog. It had taken a lot of  persistence and hard work on her side to finally be in her mentor's good graces.

Iris eyed the pastry skeptically: “So you just came by for an almost-compliment and a Danish?”

“Actually,” Mason admitted while conspiratorially leaning forward and producing a folder he had been holding onto with his other hand, “I'm currently working on something that might interest you.”

“Oh, okay,” Iris replied, pleasantly surprised that the senior journalist was willing to let her in on one of his investigations, “shoot.”

“You see,” Mason started, pulling out a photograph from the file he had brought along, “I have noticed that Simon Stagg has been AWOL for some time now...”

“So?” Iris commented, raising a quizzical eyebrow, before examining the picture she'd been given. “He's never been one to appear at many social events or otherwise... He's always been more of a recluse, right?”

“Never like this. I've been digging deeper, contacting assistants as well as board members of Stagg Industries... Nobody has seen or heard from Mr. Stagg for more than 4 months now.”

Iris's eyes widened with realization: “Oh.” She drew her chair nearer to her mentor, handing him back the photo.

“'Oh', indeed.” Mason agreed, putting the photo back into the file and pulling out another, “and all my trails lead to one person: Dr. Harrison Wells.”

“Harrison Wells?” Iris echoed hollowly, the weird feeling she'd had whenever she was around said scientist reemerging once again.

“Yeah,” Mason confirmed, “he was the last person to meet with Mr. Stagg, in addition to other quite shady implication.”

Iris had a sinking feeling in her stomach. The worst thing of all was, that as much as she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to completely disregard Mason's suspicions.

Still, Iris came to the scientist's defense – after all, he had provided his facility and know-how to help out her nephew for the past three weeks:

“But why would Dr. Wells do that? I mean, obviously the launch of the particle accelerator was not a good choice of action, but he seems to really want to redeem himself – he and his team took good care of my boyfriend when he had suffered an injury from the explosion of the particle accelerator and for the past three weeks, they helped in any way possible when my nephew was in a coma due to a lightning strike. I have come to know the people that work there. They are good people, Mason.”

“Well, I'm not saying that anyone else at S.T.A.R. Labs is involved in Simon Stagg's disappearance. Maybe they aren't aware of their boss's wrongdoings or they are good actors.

-But it's not just Stagg. I mean, don't tell me that after all that time you apparently spent over at S.T.A.R. Labs, you didn't notice anything fishy happening there?”

Again, Iris felt queasy, though this time because she did know what was going on at the research facility. She had witnessed the workings of the crime-fighting unit stationed there first-hand.

“Fishy in what way exactly?” she asked tentatively, worried about how much Mason had already found out (after all, this man had won the Pulitzer Prize for his amazing investigative journalistic work. Twice.)

“Well, for once – what are they doing there now that they are basically without funding and most of their staff?” – Iris couldn't help but remember asking herself the same question when she had tried to find out more about Barry and S.T.A.R. Labs – “And what about these silent acts of benevolence you just told me about? Wouldn't exactly this kind of thing help them regain the public's trust again?”

“I don't know – maybe they first want to figure out how exactly they can help the public before drawing attention back to S.T.A.R. Labs? It's not like there wouldn't be plenty of people eager to pick apart every single deed done by them... But I get where you're coming from,” Iris admitted, an idea forming in her head how she could protect Team Flash's base of operations from discovery, “I could try to find out: interview the staff, find out what their specific plans for the future are – maybe even snoop around the place  if there is something off about their answers...”

Iris's answer seemed to surprise her mentor: “You would be willing to investigate your little group of friends?”

“I stand by my statement that they are good people,” Iris repeated, thinking of how devotedly Cisco and Caitlin had taken care of Wally. But thinking of Wally and her uneasy feeling whenever she was around Dr. Wells, also made it easier for Iris to commit herself to Mason's cause, “But admittedly I haven't known them for long and if there is anything unlawful” – aside from vigilantism, Iris added silently in her mind – “going on, I want to know. I need to know.”

“Alright, West,” Mason said, clearly impressed, “maybe I did underestimate your 'gumption' after all.”

Iris couldn't help but smile.  The relationship with her mentor certainly had come a long way since his dismissive demeanor at the very beginning at her stubborn determination to prove her journalistic worth.

“Maybe,” she echoed while accepting the thick folder Mason handed over to her. He gave her an approving nod, before leaving Iris to study the file.

When Iris got home from work, the young journalist was still reeling from the accumulation of incriminating leads Mason had gathered on Dr. Wells. She didn't get a chance to dwell on it today though, because she had tons of desserts to prepare for her date with Barry (and Iris knew that if she sat down at home to conduct her own investigation, she would never be able to pry herself away from her research – it probably could wait for one more day).

Iris was still in the kitchen, cutting up some fruit for a fruit salad (to assuage the guilty conscience of a whole dinner only consisting of brownies, mousse au chocolat and muffins), when her dad and Wally returned from S.T.A.R. Labs.

“Hey, you two,” Iris greeted the pair, “how was your day?”

This simple question was enough to get Wally started: He told his aunt about his new training exercises, poked fun at the look on his grandpa's face when he had watched his grandson run for the very first time (Joe just stood there, shaking his head in disbelief, like he could not wrap his mind around this even now) and excitedly showed Iris the protein bars Cisco and Caitlin had given him (“Because I use up much more energy now”, the 8-year-old explained precociously, while his eyes were flitting nervously back and forth between his aunt and the baked goods before him). The young speedster went on, talking about Barry dropping by during his lunch time and the realization of Team S.T.A.R. Labs that the young speedster's biggest issue was staying still and concealing his powers, rather than working on them. Which in turn elicited a bunch of complaints about these new 'training exercises' Team Flash had come up with for the 8-year-old: building houses of cards, playing  mikado and jenga...-

“It's the wooorst,” Wally declared dramatically, snatching a piece of brownie from the box Iris just had put them into.

Despite making use of his powers, Wally still wasn't fast enough for Iris not to notice.

“Hey, those are not for you!” Iris chided the boy, who in turn gave her his best puppy dog eyes:

“Um... Did I mention that I use up much more energy now? I need fuel! ”

Iris couldn't help the chuckle escaping her lips at this clumsy excuse:

“Fine. You can lick out the empty bowls… if you promise me that you will work on your homework your Mom sent earlier.”

Wally scrunched up his nose at the mention of 'homework' but agreed to the proposed deal nonetheless. In a matter of seconds, the bowls were licked clean, so Iris barely had any work to do when washing the dirty dishes. The young woman quickly got ready for her date, double-checked if she had packed the keys to Jitters, and ruffled her nephew's hair one more time (who was now bent over his homework dutifully, brows furrowed and shoulders slumped in misery). She then said good-bye to her dad and Wally, before picking up the various boxes, carefully balancing the ridiculous amount of desserts (and fruit salad).

Iris parked right in front of Jitters so she wouldn't have to walk too far while carrying all these bowls and boxes. She was positively giddy when she unlocked the door. Maybe it was the chocolate she had snacked on while preparing the different kinds of desserts (and, unsurprisingly, most of the desserts Iris had made included chocolate in some form), maybe it was the familiar feeling of being alone in the coffee shop once again after all these crazy weeks... Maybe it was the anticipation of having another, proper date with Barry (or whatever qualified as 'proper' when you were dating a superhero). Anyway, Iris couldn't help herself but be excited. She hauled the boxes with food inside, setting them down on the counter. With a smile, she discovered a small note Tracy had left behind (under a plate with cronuts, Iris's favorite dish to order at the coffee shop). Iris's former colleague wished her a fun date (of which she hoped to hear about soon in great detail, the barista had added, complete with a winky-face). Iris rolled her eyes in fond annoyance – throughout her entire time at Jitters, Tracy had never stopped pointing out cute guys to Iris, sometimes even purposely serving other customers so Iris would have to take the orders from “the hotties”. It was only natural that Tracy would want to know everything about the guy who had finally managed to sweep Iris off her feet.

Shaking her head at the other girl's incorrigibleness, Iris pocketed the note and began arranging the food. While doing so, her gaze wandered to the special's board above, getting caught on the brand-new special. Her lips curved into a smile.

Meanwhile at the West house, Wally was still struggling to get his homework done (a process which was considerably slowed down due to the boy's inability to concentrate on it for more than five minutes instead of letting his eyes wander about the room and sighing pitifully while doing so). Suddenly the phone rang, providing a real diversion from the current math problem Wally was so desperate to ignore.

“You keep on working on your homework; don't think I don't see what you're doing there,” Joe said while heading for the phone, familiar with his grandson's penchant for distracting himself from his school work.

Begrudgingly, Wally returned his attention to his math problem. Still, the boy couldn't help but notice that his grandpa was not happy with the call he had received.

And indeed, Joe had any reason to be displeased. Captain Singh just had told him that he was desperately needed at the precinct. As it was already fairly late and Joe had no way of knowing how long he was going to stay over at the police station, he couldn't exactly bring Wally with him to work. Of course he could call Iris, who would return home immediately if she had to, but Joe knew how much his baby girl had been looking forward to her date with Barry and all the work she had put into it; he did not have the heart to ruin that evening for her. But now that Wally was having powers (a concept the detective still had to come to terms with), Joe didn't really feel comfortable leaving the boy alone nor asking their neighbor, Mrs Johnson (who had occasionally looked after his grandson before), to keep an eye on Wally.

Aimlessly looking through the contacts on the phone, Joe stumbled across the number of 'Dr. Caitlin Snow' (who had given her private number to the Wests while Wally was in his coma , assuring them that they could call her “at any time”). This wasn't a medical emergency, but Joe had noticed the genuine interest the doctor had shown in her new patient and figured he could at least give it a try.

His call was picked up immediately and after a short explanation of his problem, Caitlin was quick to assure Joe that it was no problem at all. She only asked if she could bring Cisco along (who apparently was over at the doctor's house for a movie night).

Having seen both the doctor and engineer taking good care of his grandson just this morning, Joe was more than fine with that, said his good-bye and hung up.

Twenty minutes later, the door bell rang and Joe and Wally were greeted by Caitlin and Cisco with a chipper “hi Detective West, hey Wally.”

Joe let the two scientists in, thanking them sincerely for coming over. He quickly informed them where they could find some pizza money (Wally's face brightened up considerably) and when Wally's curfew was (the boy's expression grew slightly sullen). Then, ruffling his grandson's hair and reminding the boy to “be good” and thanking the two scientists once more, the detective hurried off to the precinct.

“Soo... this is gonna be fun,” Cisco said humorously, breaking the awkward tension which had hung over the three Joe had left-behind.

Wally eyed the engineer suspiciously: “We are not gonna play any more games to train my ability to stay still, are we?”

“Nah... I've brought you something else to expand upon your education-” Cisco was interrupted by Wally groaning, still fed-up from doing weeks-worth of homework the past afternoon.

The engineer continued with a wide grin, pulling out something from his messenger bag: “Time you finally watch 'The Incredibles'.”

The young speedster's face brightened instantaneously.

About fifteen minutes after the arranged time for their date, Barry finally zipped into Jitters, hair disheveled and hands full.

“I am so sorry! I was just about to leave work when Captain Singh demanded a specific file on his desk tonight and on my way here there was some maniac-driver who almost knocked over some old lady crossing the street – why is it always some little old lady? – anyways, I'm so sorry. And I got you a flower,” the speedster added apologetically, holding out a slightly rumpled red rose.

Iris accepted the flower with a bright smile and a kiss.

“It's okay. Gave me more time to set up dinner. Because it's so nice outside, I thought we could dine up on the rooftop – it always was my favorite place at Jitters,” Iris said, while leading Barry up the stairs, carefully navigating him so he wouldn't see the board with specials, so it would be a surprise for later.

When they arrived at the rooftop they were met with a beautifully set up picnic, with tea candles and twinkle lights illuminating the scene.

“Wow,” was all Barry could say, “wow.”

Iris smiled brightly: “This is such a nice spot, right? I used to hang out here all the time after work.”

“It is really beautiful,” Barry agreed, “And you did an amazing job setting this whole thing up.”

Iris blushed, flattered, ”thanks.” She snuck an arm around Barry's waist, hugging him close: “I'm glad we finally made date night happen again. I missed that.”

“Me too,” Barry agreed, pressing a kiss on the top of Iris's head.

The journalist closed her eyes for a brief moment, relishing in the gesture. When she opened them again to look up at Barry, there was that familiar glint of mischief in them: “So, are you going to save me from my impending doom a.k.a chocolate coma?”

“Depends,” Barry said teasingly.

“On what?”

“How good that 'heavenly' coffee of yours really is.”

“So what do you think of this educational film?” Cisco asked, turning off the tv and cutting off the jazzy theme song of the DVD menu, “Cool?”

“Super cool!” Wally agreed. Despite his enthusiastic reply, the boy couldn't completely mask the yawn he was stifling.

“But now you really should get ready for bed,” Caitlin said, whose watchful eye did not miss the tiredness the young speedster tried so hard to cover up.

“Awww,” Wally bemoaned, putting on his best puppy dog pout in an attempt to change Caitlin's mind.

He did not succeed.

“Sorry,” Caitlin apologized, looking sympathetic, “but you really have to get enough sleep; your body still has to adjust to your new powers and changed metabolism. That sort of thing requires a lot of energy. Besides,” the doctor added, smiling, “I don't think your grandpa would allow us to look after you anymore if he came back from work and you were still up... And that would be a shame, wouldn't it be?”

That was enough to make the 8-year-old admit his defeat. Yawning once more, he climbed up the stairs to change into his pajamas.

“Impressive,” Cisco commented from his position on the couch, munching on some peanuts, “though I'm afraid you just spoiled our chance of earning us the honorary title of 'cool aunt' and 'uncle' respectively.”

Caitlin just rolled her eyes: “With Barry being a superhero and Iris working as an investigative reporter, trying to fulfill her nephew's every wish, I think those titles are pretty much taken, Cisco.”

“Still,” the engineer pouted, shifting slightly to make space for his friend on the couch,” you totally should have let him stay up with us – it would have increased my chance of getting to be the 'cool uncle'!”

Caitlin rolled her eyes and sat down next to Cisco, taking a handful of peanuts: “I wasn't aware that I had to look after two children.”

Barry and Iris were lying stretched out on their picnic blanket, both completely stuffed and content.

“If only we could see the stars, then this night would be perfect,” Iris sighed, her head comfortably resting on Barry's chest.

“One of the side effects of light pollution,” Barry sighed, absentmindedly playing with Iris's hair, “it's called 'Sky glow'. Light in the city that is directed or reflected upwards via surfaces then is scattered by the atmosphere and directed back to the ground, making it look like there is a glowing dome over the city. It was recently estimated that one third of the world's population could no longer see the Milky Way, among them 80% of Americans and 60% of Europeans.“

Iris chuckles “Only you could turn a simple observation about a lack of stars into a real downer – all with the power of science.”

The forensic scientist blushed: “I didn't mean to-”

Fondly shaking her head, Iris propped herself up to cut him off with a kiss. “It's okay. Cutest nerd that I know, remember?”