#i love being queeeerrrrr

[missus-meticulous]

Sometimes I wonder if it's "too much" to advertise my sexuality and to keep advertising. If it is "too much" to loudly proclaim that I am bisexual, that I am bisexual and that this is okay and that I am okay and that I would laugh just as loudly if you did or didn't know I'm bisexual.

Coming from a Catholic household, coming from a Catholic border town where Latina women aren't supposed to show just how much they hunger, how much they yearn and yearn and yearn and that that yearning can be for someone with a penis or someone else entirely. Coming from a place where I shamed myself for having a girlfriend and for wanting her, for wanting her so deliciously that all I wanted at the tumultuous age of 16 was to explore her mind and her body as the poets had taught me.

And that when I came out officially at the age of 24, the questions that came with that outing, the voyeuristic curiosity that came with it, the "how" and "why" and "are you sure" and the boundary I learned to make between my sexuality and everyone else. Everyone that sought to judge, be it straight, gay, and in-between.

The stereotypes that come with being bisexual and that come with advertising my sexuality. And I ask if it's "too much"-

Until, a friend, a family member, or even an acquaintance politely, quietly asks me, "When did you know?", "How did you know?", "Can you realize it later in life?", and "Is it...is it a bad thing?"

And I am the guardian I never had, the confidante I never had, the support system I never had, and the friend I never had. Patiently answering every question, patiently describing every crush I've ever had, between men, women, and in-between. The difference between queer and bisexual and pansexual and gay and anything you want to be, that queer isn't a bad thing, that bisexuality isn't a bad thing. Being the person that gets to hug the budding bisexual who may become homosexual, pansexual, or something else entirely! The person that showers this boo-boo Queer person with all the respect and affection I never had and that is when I answer my own question. Is it too much? Am I being too much? No, no I am just enough. <3