#i love have incoherrent thoughts come to life

[ruumirmir]

Employee of the Month

really, i dont think half of this should be taken seriously, HOWEVER:

I think loverboy's peakest babygirl moment in all of his career should be singlehandedly getting pantalone to invent the concept of "employee of the month" for the sole reason of having a workplace excuse to spoil and praise him without raising suspicion. 👀 Which I'll set in the timeline Before pantalone becomes the harbinger, and is just a fairly high ranking official at present.

(theres like a whole backstory ive cooked up that my moot is currently writing now so this entire post might make a lot more sense after my requested fic is out lmao)

like yeah,, pantalone eventually does come to realize and notice that Hmmm! This one man is a particularly diligent worker! His excellent workplace charm and wet puppy eyes have captivated me !

Perhaps a little shy to praise.

(lil bro is actively trying to avoid the spotlight in such a line of work)

Celestia knows how many hundreds of fatui are trained and raised in the soldiers way 🙄 With the Tsaritza's mercy the organization will rarely happen upon a handful of sparkly-eyed new recruits that can actually be COMPETENT with the brunt of the logistics, diplomacy and theoretical PAPERWORK that keeps the fatui running.

God knows that harbingers like Pantalone, Pulcinella, and occasionally Arlecchino NEED subordinates behind desks rather than on the field.

So the idea comes to pantalone on a fine sunny day with a stroke of genius !

because the work environment under each harbinger is so Different, you could categorize pantalone to (relatively) have the safest, and most boring work imaginable.

Definitely in which case, job motivation is very..... low. Well not anymore apparently,, in comes loverboy, newly enrolled in the fatui

with a personal vendetta against risking his precious life on the field, who damn well MAKES SURE his work merits and skills direct him towards a cushy job with good pay. and that eventually catches pantalone's attention, whos like

Wow! I wonder how i can get myself to play favorites in my department in broad daylight without it being suspicious... Hmmm...

And then on the first day of the upcoming month, out goes a notice to every subordinate, manager, accountant, secretary and etc etc, about a brand new system set in place! and would you look at that:

Loverboy nearly digs a hole and buries himself on the spot out of embarrassment when he sees a nice framed photo of him hung up at the Northland bank's noticeboard with nice bold letters saying

"Fatuus of the Month"

followed by a nice motivational speech by pantalone that goes a little too into loverboy's personal quirks rather than his excellent contributions to the bank.

Really, it might've only been a little over 1.5 years into his mandated fatui service, but he's already been sent off with a neat bonus.... a small material gift that pantalone bought him, and a strong surge of interest from his fellow colleagues/comrades.

So much for trying to avoid the spotlight :P

also pspsppspsps @eluxcastar would you like some loverboy thoughtposting

[jokertrap-ran]

ボーイフレンド（仮) vol.2　遊馬百汰＆東雲巽＆皇アラン＆瀬名竜之介 Boyfriend(Beta) Vol. 2 Album Mini-Drama Translations: 05 放課後の四重奏 05 After School Quartet

*Spoiler free: Translations under cut * Will be added to ボーイフレンド（仮) master-list soon

Ryunosuke: Nono~

Momota: Alan~ Ryunosuke/ Momota: Teach us~~!! Alan: What is it all of a sudden? Nono: It’s because it’s going to be the exams soon. Even if we’re called a sports class, we’ll still be suspended from club activities if we get red marks. Alan: I’m sure that it’s a life and death issue for the both of them since sports is basically their entire school life. I understand! If that’s how it is then, I’ll help you out too! Momota: Really!? Ryunosuke: Thanks Alan~! Alan: We have to help each other if we’re troubled! Please leave it to me if you’re going to be rolling around in mud. Nono: It’ll be bad if they’re rolling in the mud pits. Alan: Oh, was I mistaken? Then….how about the Titanic? Nono: That’s worse. Momota: Oh, come to think of it, how many marks was it this time round for it to be considered as a red mark? Nono: Right, I guess you’ll be fine if you get somewhere around 40 marks? Ryunosuke: Ehh~ 30 marks’ no good? Alan: How about setting the target at 35 marks then? Momota: Ahaha! I might be able to go with that! Alan: Then let’s set our targets to obtain 35 marks! Momota & Ryunosuke: Yeah! Nono: Though I think it’ll be better if you got 40 marks.

Momota: Boyfriend (Beta) Ryunosuke: Original drama CD, Nono: After School’s Quartet Alan: Starts!

Ryunosuke: Ahh, I can’t do this~~!! I can’t concentrate anymore~~!!! Nono! I’ll go swim a little for a change of pace! Nono: Calm down, Ryunosuke! Club activities are suspended right before the exams. Momota: Argh….! Ugh, my shoulders are all stiff from studying all this time….I’ll go stretch a little! Nono: Asuma, if you’re going to stretch then do it here! And also, you don’t need your racket, don’t you? Momota & Ryunosuke: Ehh~~ Alan: The both of you really can’t seem to forget about your club activities no matter where or when it is. You guys are the mirrors of the sport class! (Ideal members of the sports class) Momota & Ryunosuke: Ehehehe~! Nono: It’ll be great if you put all that passion into studying for the exams though. Oh? Ryunosuke: What’s wrong? Nono: Oh, that person from 2nd year’s over at the entrance. (He means MC, aka you ) Look, it seems like she's going home right now.

Ryunosuke: What? Let me see, let me see~

Momota: Oh, I want to see too!

Alan: Me too.

Momota: Oi—i!

Nono: It doesn't seem like she had noticed us after all.

Momota: Ryunosuke, I'm relying on you. It's time for you, who's part of the swimming club to shine! (He means that his lungs can hold more air, thus, shouting louder)

Ryunosuke: Okay! *Takes deep breath* OIIIIII~I!!!!!

Momota: Aha! She’s surprised! Ryunosuke: Over here~!! Over here~!! Nono: It seems like she has noticed us over here. Alan: She seems to be saying something judging from the movements of her mouth but we can’t hear it after all. Nono: The only one who can communicate from this distance is probably Ryunosuke alone.

Ryunosuke: Sorry~!! We can’t hear you~!!!! Alan: She seems to be typing something on her mobile phone.

*A notification sound from their phones*

Everyone: Hm? Momota: Oh, it’s a mail from her. It writes “What are you doing?” Ryunosuke: It was sent to me too~ Nono: Me too. Alan: It was sent to all of us. Momota: Ryunosuke! We’ll be leaving the reply to you! Ryunosuke: Leave it to me! *Takes a deep breath* We’re in the middle of studying for the exams together!!!

*Phone notification sounds*

Nono: Oh, she says “Do your best!” Ryunosuke: Thanks~~!! Momota: I somehow feel motivated since she’s cheering us on! Ryunosuke: Me too, me too! Alan: That’s a relief to hear! Nono: Well then, let’s start seriously studying for the exams. Momota: Right! Ryunosuke: Oh, right! I’ve thought of something good~ Alan: Something good? Ryunosuke: Yup! If we’re going to study then let’s do it in a perfect place!

*time skip*

Ryunosuke: Oh…...yup, yup…...I see…. Nono: It was the right decision to come to the library. It seems like the both of them are focusing on studying. Alan: Yeah. It’s all thanks to Ryu-chan. Nono: Yeah, if they continue on at this rate, they might actually be able to avoid getting a red mark. Momota: A person’s love starts from tennis huh. What a quote. Nono: Wait. What are you reading? Momota: Ehe, a book about Japan’s famous No. 1 tennis player. Nono: Is that going to come out on the exam? Momota: Eh? I don’t really know about that I guess…? Nono: Asuma, I’m confiscating that book. Momota: Ehh!? Ryunosuke: Ohhh~~ There are still many various kinds of hotcakes (pancakes) in the world! Oh! This one looks delicious! Alan: It really does! Whipped cream and Ice-cream, it even has chocolate drizzled on top of it! Ryunosuke: Whipped cream’s also great but maple syrup’s great too~ Which one do you prefer, Alan? Alan: Hmm…...I don’t really have an preferance but…...recently, I’ve been enchanted by fruit sauce. Ryunosuke: That’s really nice! It’s really colourful and I think it has a really great feeling! Nono: So Ryunosuke, what are you reading? Ryunosuke: The top 100 hotcakes (pancakes) in the world! It’s really detailed~ Nono: Is that going to come out for the exams? Ryunosuke: Eh? Exam? Nono: Did you forget that we were studying for the exams? Ryunosuke, rather than hotcakes, you should study for the exams no-- Ryunosuke: Oh right! Here~ a book that you’ll seem to like. Nono: No, like I said, we’re studying for the exams no--...Main points of Karate!? There was such a book? I wonder what’s written in it. Alan: Ahaha, it seems like everyone’s having a reading time now. Heh, then I’ll go look for some kind of a book too.

*Time Skip* Nono: It seems like there are many temptations located in the library. Ryunosuke: That was really a surprise! We didn’t manage to study at all~ Momota: But now it should be fine now that we’ve come to the cafeteria. Alan: Yeah, if it’s here, we can concentrate and study. Momota: Come to think of it, there were also people who studied in cafes, right? Doesn’t that sound rather cool!? Ryunosuke: I understand that feeling! It somehow gives them the feeling that they can study a little better. Oh! Could it be that we’re doing something like that now too? Momota: Just like that, just like that! Ryunosuke: Yayy~ Alan: It seems like the both of them have become motivated. Nono: That’s true. Now then, let’s hurry and start studying for the exams-- Momota: Oh. Ryunosuke: Ahh. Hey say, aren’t you guys a little hungry? Alan: Aha, I’ve also gotten hungry, Ryunosuke: Because I was reading up on the world’s top 100 hotcakes, I’ve come to crave some hotcakes~ Nono: Well you can’t concentrate on studying if you’re hungry either huh. How about we go grab a bite to eat? Ryunosuke: That’ll be great~ Momota: Agreed! Alan: I agree too. Momota: Then, I’ll go buy something. Ryunosuke: I’ll go too~~ Alan: I want to looks at the menu too before making a decision so I’m coming along. Nono: It’ll be difficult carrying them all back right? Let’s all go together.

*Time Skip*

Ryunosuke: It’s great that they had hotcakes~! Thanks for the meal~ *eating noises* Nono: Ryunosuke, you’ve got syrup on your mouth. Ryunoske: Mmfh, mmmhm? (Over here?) Nono: No, the opposite side. Ryunosuke: *Incoherrent muffled talking* (sounded kinda like: Oh, thanks) Alan: Momota, what are you having over there? Momota: Mmph? The special set menu’s Sukiyaki Don (Beef rice bowl)! Nono: Oi, won’t you guys get sleepy if you eat too much? T/N: (Nono’s the mother bear of the group I swear---)

Momota: Hehe~ It’ll be fine! *Time Skip* *Snoring sounds* Alan: They’re all totally within dreamland. Nono: That’s why I told them so, didn’t I? Oi Asuma, wake up! Momota: Nngh...I can’t eat anymore. Nono: I didn’t tell you to eat. I’m telling you to study for your exams! Momota: I’m really full from that too... Nono: You’re full, NOT! Alan: Tatsumi, this is terrible! Nono: Wait a minute, I’ll wake Asuma up now so-- Alan: Ryu-chan’s also within dreamland! Nono: What did you say!? Ryunosuke: *snoring* Nono: Ryunosuke, you too!? *Nono whacks Ryu* Oi! Wake up! Ryunosuke: Nngh….? Nono~ Another 5 more minutes…...another 5 minutes….5 minutes…...wake me up then... Nono: Don’t doze back off! *Snoring* Nono: Ryunosuke and Asuma, both of you wake up!! *Time Skip* Alan: We came to the sports hall but there’s no one here. Nono: It’s because club activities are suspended since we’re in the middle of exams. Momota: *Yawns* …...I’m still sleepy. Nono: That’s precisely why we came here. Come on, exercise a little and wake yourself up. Ryunosuke: Okay…..nnmmgh…..huh? A basketball’s lying there. Momota: I wonder if they forgot to keep it? Momota: Oh, Ryunosuke! Pass!! Pass!! Ryunosuke: Okay~ Here I go! There! Momota: ……..continue dribbling up till there---! And pass it to Ryunosuke before the goal!! Ryunosuke: Nice, Momota!! Shoot it just like that~!! Nono: There!! Alan: Tatsumi! Nice block! Nono: Don’t just go starting a game of basketball all of a sudden! Come on, if you’re awake then let’s return to studying. Ryunosuke: Uguuhh!! To think that my shoot was blocked…..!! Momota: My pass was too light-hearted just now...as expected of one of Fujishiro’s Twin Towers, Tatsumi! Nono: What’s this thing about Fujishiro’s Twin Towers? It’s the first time I’m hearing of it. Alan: I wonder if the other one’s me? Momota: The next one will decide it, Ryunosuke! Ryunosuke: Okay Momota! Nono: Next one, you say...you guys still intend to continue with basketball? Momota: First to get 10 points’ the winner!! Ryunosuke: Here I go, Nono, Alan! Nono: No choice then, I’ll accept this challenge and then let’s hurry and return to studying. Alan, I’m leaving Asuma to you. Alan: Understood! *Basketball noises* Nono: Catch! Alan, over there!

Ryunosuke: Here I go! Asuma: There!

Ryunosuke: Pass!

Alan: Okay, shoot!! *Time Skip* *Everyone Panting* Momota: Ahhh, even though I would have won with the last shoot if it got in!! Alan: It was a hairline close match. Ryunosuke: We won’t lose next time~! Nono: Yeah, we don’t intend to lo-- Oh! We were so absorbed in basketball that we had all completely forgotten to study for the exams!

Asuma: Ah. Ryunosuke: Ah. Alan: Oh... Momota: I-It’ll be fine! I’m better when it’s the actual thing, r-right? Ryunosuke: That’s right! I’ll do it when I have to~ Right? Nono: Haa…...just a little’s fine but we have to study-- Everyone but Nono: Oh? Nono: I apologize, it’s me. Momota: Ahh, come to think of it, I might be hungry... Ryunosuke: Me too~ me too~ Nono: You guys had eaten earlier, no? Momota: Even if you say that, we’re hungry when we’re hungry. Ryunosuke: Let’s eat something before studying~ You’re hungry too, right, Nono? Nono: Well, I guess? Alan: Oh! If so then, how about we have an inarizushi (Those sweet beancurd skin sushi )party! *Time Skip* *Eating noises* Nono: Sumeragi, thanks for the inarizushi! Alan: You don’t have to hold back because the deliciousness of inarizushi increases when eating it together with everyone! Ryu-chan, you should eat plenty too! Nono: Both of you, once you’re done eating, we should really hurry and go back to studying-- *Momota&Ryunosuke snores* Nono: Hey, don’t sleep!!!! Oi, wake up! It’ll really be bad if you don’t study! Asuma, Ryunosuke! Asuma: Ehehe, I can’t eat anymore…. Nono: You said that earlier too! Ryunosuke: Another 5 more munites…. Nono: You said that just now too! *Snoring continues* Nono: Like I said, wake up!! Alan: Fufu, the both of them seem completely knocked out. Nono: Honestly, it’ll be great if they didn’t get red marks. *Time Skip* Ryunosuke: Uuu~ Even though I did my best to get 35 marks, it was a red mark~~!!! Momota: I got 36 marks but…...it was a red mark…... Alan: Even 37 marks was no good huh…... Nono: Both of you, you’re both banned from club activities until you manage to clear it you know? Momota/Ryunosuke: No way~!! Ryunosuke: Nono~ Momota: Alan~ Ryunosuke/ Momota: Teach us~~!! Nono: Haa...it seems like we’re back to the starting line. Alan: Ahaha, seems so.

[appytrovert]

Bishu Da

Everyday I catch the 9 am Krishnanagar Local on my way to work, and so does every other bread-earner in the city. The aisles of any local train are probably the liveliest component of the Indian railways. This two feet space between the rows of seats, enforces the unruly mob, to move in a single queue. Once the quibble about the seats is settled, the vociferous procession of hawkers begins. Some come with savory snacks to roil the tongue, while some doctor carminative pills for all gut troubles. Some sell nifty house items and some have solutions for cockroach distress in homes. From clothing to cold-drinks, everything is at one’s disposal. Occasionally the vendors’ monologue would be interspersed with the sing-song prayers of a beggar. Then there would be the dread of hijras, clapping their way in and out of the aisle, to squeeze out our wallets. For the three hours the train takes to reach Sealdah, my workplace, the aisles will be nothing less than a mobile country fair. With people pouring in and out in multitudes at each stop, I see the scurrying pace of racing lives. It was in these aisles that I met Bishu Da, a book vendor.

From age old classics to Chetan Bhagat, from Aesop’s fables to Tolstoy or from Kabir to Satyajit Ray, Bishu Da had them all captured in his two big cloth satchels. Hanging each on either shoulder he would travel up and down the Krishnanagar-Sealdah route daily 9 am to 9 pm. He had become an integral member of our daily passenger group. He would not sit with us during the morning trip to play cards or discuss politics. He had his business to attend to. He was more active than any of us bachelors, even in his age nearing sixty. We would catch him on our way back in the evenings, and by then the vigor of his morning face would have faded. The weight of the satchels would have reduced his height, and, the shouting and haggling would have broken his voice. However, the eyes, placed between the wrinkled cheeks and white rooted receding hair, would always shine with the stories of the day that he had to share with us.

Bishu Da had a unique sales pitch. He would enact scenes from the books he sold. Lanky as he was he did not need much space to perform. Even in the crowdest of trains he could find a corner in the aisles for his stage. Be it the malice of Macbeth or the agony of the Postmaster, he expressed every human emotion deftly. When he entered into a role, he brought the character alive from the pages of his books. The incessant chatter of the compartment went numb when he started his act. Even other vendors stopped their bartering, such was his respect among the hawker community. All aged six to sixty were enraptured by his skit. Half of his sales were because of this incitement. Some of his customers even complained of having been sold a boring book, not as grand as he had put it out to be.

And one could not blame such customers, if one knew the reason why Bishu Da’s skill surpassed the writers’. He told us the secret one evening. He had not always been a book vendor. In his youth, he wanted to be an actor. Such dreams are seldom backed in a middle-class family and so he fled from home one night to venture out his fortune in Bollywood. No doors opened for the not fair, not good-looking Bishu Da, in five grueling years. He came back home, and started his own theater group with a businessman friend. He put all his possessions and life-force into it. Things were slowly getting into shape. The group started performing in various towns and villages, across the district. He fell in love with one of the artists and married her. While he was engrossed in all the acting, directing, script-writing and stage setting, one day, his friend ran away with all the funds. With enormous debts and loans on him, he took to drinking and beating up his wife. The poor girl could not bear the torture and hanged herself to death when she was three months pregnant. To our words of consolation, he laughed meekly and said every great artist must sacrifice to reach the paramount of success. The tragedy of the incident could be traced in some of his best performances in the book-selling pitches.

As far as I know, Bishu da never recovered from paying debts. After the misfortune, he did not have the leisure to look for jobs. He sold off his house, the few acres he inherited and his father’s bookshop, and hit the road with the books that remained stockpiled. While we all pitied his plight, I feel many in our group were actually relieved after hearing his life-story, an alibi to have nipped our skyrocketing aspirations in the bud. He was an avatar of what happens if the blood of youth is not cooled down in time. He had become an ointment to our wound of unrealized dreams, an excuse to our cowardice of avoiding the unbeaten path. No surprise, we would always complain about our jobs, returning haggard from work. Life may not have been fair to Bishu da, but he had been fair to life, and that is why he fretted a lot less than us. We all held degrees way higher than his, but we all looked upto him for advice when life had us cornered.

He sold the same books that he had grown up on, the same books that had kindled in him the artistic spark. He would occasionally give us books to read for free. On special occasions, be it someone’s promotion or marriage proposal or fatherhood, he would put up performances in the aisles to celebrate the event. However small the size of the stage and however low the strength of the audience, whether performing for money or for mere joy, he always delivered his best. Encouraged, we too, sometimes played a role or two as sidekicks in his acts. One day he played a part from a piece he said he was writing. We were all stunned. No doubt, his skit was marvelous, but equally enthralling was the plot. If such a story hit the Bengali theaters, we all agreed, it would definitely create a spur, given the rickety state the film industry was in. His idea would give the audience a fresh and unique taste of cinema. We all asked him to finish the script, and try approaching the fat cats in the field.

And then suddenly he was nowhere to be seen. It was almost a week that he was absent from our commute gossips. We asked the pickle vendor one evening about his whereabouts. He told us the story. Bishu Da was playing the part of King Dasharatha to sell “The Ramayana for Kids”. The scene was of him distressing over his favorite son, Rama’s exile. King Dasharatha started crying over his loss, when a sudden pang pierced through his heart. He put his hands on his chest, spitting out incoherrent guttural words, twisting all his face muscles in excruciating pain. The audience gasped in wonder. He fell down on the aisle with a thud and laid motionless with his face kissing the dirt. No one had ever witnessed such a dramatic portrayal of King Dasharatha’s death. A roar of applause went around with shrieking whistles, and Bishu Da did not stir an inch. It was only when he did not move after a full minute of ovation that the spectators seemed dubious. They pulled him up on the seat, sprinkled water on his face, half of which had already started to deform. He was taken down to a hospital at the next stop. The doctor called it a stroke that had left the right half of his body paralyzed. His speech was beyond comprehension, and he would not recognize anybody. We all grieved at the tragic turn of events, and I shuddered at the thought of him crawling up the aisles someday - dragging his numbed limbs, clothes torn and hair unkempt, eyes yellowed with blank stare of defeated expectance, holding out an aluminum bowl of coins to me - playing a beggar.