#i love her so much..... the most any pronouns lesbian to ever exist <33

[wanderthroughtheruins]

obsessed with lou insisting on referring to gertie with they/them pronouns, thank u for transing her gender, king 🫡

[rapeculturerealities]

“BUTCH” HAS LONG been the name we’ve given a certain kind — that kind — of lesbian. The old adage applies: You know her when you see her. She wears men’s clothing, short hair, no makeup. Butch is an aesthetic, but it also conveys an attitude and energy. Both a gender and a sexuality, butchness is about the body but also transcends it: “We exist in this realm of masculinity that has nothing to do with cis men — that’s the part only we [butches] know how to talk about,” says the 42-year-old writer, former Olympic swimmer and men’s wear model Casey Legler. “Many people don’t even know how to ask questions about who we are, or about what it means to be us.”

Many of us wear the butch label with a certain self-consciousness, fearing the term doesn’t quite fit — like a new pair of jeans, it’s either too loose or too tight. The graphic novelist Alison Bechdel, 59, doesn’t refer to herself as butch but understands why others do. “It’s a lovely word, ‘butch’: I’ll take it, if you give it to me,” she says. “But I’m afraid I’m not butch enough to really claim it. Because part of being butch is owning it, the whole aura around it.”

What does owning it look like? Decades before genderless fashion became its own style, butches were wearing denim and white tees, leather jackets and work boots, wallet chains and gold necklaces. It isn’t just about what you’re wearing, though, but how: Butchness embodies a certain swagger, a 1950s-inspired “Rebel Without a Cause” confidence. In doing so, these women — and butches who don’t identify as women — created something new and distinct, an identity you could recognize even if you didn’t know what to call it.

By refuting conventionally gendered aesthetics, butchness expands the possibilities for women of all sizes, races, ethnicities and abilities. “I always think of the first butch lesbian I ever saw,” says the 33-year-old actor Roberta Colindrez. “This beautiful butch came into the grocery store and she was built like a brick house. Short hair, polo shirt, cargo pants and that ring of keys … It was the first time I saw the possibility of who I was.” And yet, to many people, “butch style” remains an oxymoron: There’s a prevalent assumption that we’re all fat, frumpy fashion disasters — our baseball caps and baggy pants suggest to others that we don’t care about self-presentation. But it’s not that we’re careless; it’s that unlike, say, the gay white men who have been given all too much credit for influencing contemporary visual culture, we’re simply not out to appease the male gaze. We disregard and reject the confines of a sexualized and commodified femininity.

ETYMOLOGICALLY, “butch” is believed to be an abbreviation of “butcher,” American slang for “tough kid” in the early 20th century and likely inspired by the outlaw Butch Cassidy. By the early 1940s, the word was used as a pejorative to describe “aggressive” or “macho” women, but lesbians reclaimed it almost immediately, using it with pride at 1950s-era bars such as Manhattan’s Pony Stable Inn and Peg’s Place in San Francisco. At these spots, where cocktails cost 10 cents and police raids were a regular occurrence, identifying yourself as either butch or femme was a prerequisite for participating in the scene.

These butches were, in part, inspired by 19th-century cross-dressers — then called male impersonators or transvestites — who presented and lived fully as men in an era when passing was a crucial survival tactic. We can also trace butchness back to the androgynous female artists of early 20th-century Paris, including the writer Gertrude Stein and the painter Romaine Brooks. But it wasn’t until the 1960s and early 1970s that butches, themselves at the intersection of the burgeoning civil, gay and women’s rights movements, became a more visible and viable community.

From their earliest incarnations, butches faced brutal discrimination and oppression, not only from outside their community but also from within. A certain brand of (mostly white) lesbian feminism dominant in the late ’70s and early ’80s marginalized certain sorts of “otherness” — working-class lesbians, lesbians of color and masculine-of-center women. They pilloried butchness as inextricably misogynist and butch-femme relationships as dangerous replications of heteronormative roles. (Such rhetoric has resurfaced, as trans men are regularly accused of being anti-feminist in their desire to become the so-called enemy.) Challenged yet again to defend their existence and further define themselves, butches emerged from this debate emboldened, thriving in the late ’80s and early ’90s as women’s studies programs — and, later, gender and queer studies departments — gained traction on North American and European college campuses.

The ’90s were in fact a transformative decade for the butch community. In 1990, the American philosopher Judith Butler published her groundbreaking “Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity,” and her theories about gender were soon translated and popularized for the masses. In her academic work, Butler argues that gender and sexuality are both constructed and performative; butch identity, as female masculinity, subverts the notion that masculinity is the natural and exclusive purview of the male body. Soon after, butch imagery infiltrated the culture at large. The August 1993 issue of Vanity Fair featured the straight supermodel Cindy Crawford, in a black maillot, straddling and shaving the butch icon K.D. Lang. That same year, the writer Leslie Feinberg published “Stone Butch Blues,” a now classic novel about butch life in 1970s-era New York. In Manhattan, comedians such as Lea DeLaria and drag kings such as Murray Hill took to the stage; it was also the heyday of Bechdel’s “Dykes to Watch Out For,” the serialized comic strip she started in 1983. In 1997, Ellen DeGeneres, still the most famous of butches, came out. Two years later, Judith “Jack” Halberstam and Del LaGrace Volcano published “The Drag King Book” and the director Kimberly Peirce released her breakthrough film, “Boys Don’t Cry”; its straight cisgender star, Hilary Swank, went on to win an Oscar for her portrayal of Brandon Teena, a role that still incites contentious debates about the nebulous boundaries between butch and trans identity. These artists and their legacies are the cornerstones of our community. As Legler says, “This is where we’ve come from, and the folks we look back to. If you identify with that lineage, then we’d love to have you.”

LIKE ANY QUEER subculture, butchness is vastly different now than it was three decades ago — though the codes have been tweaked and refined over the years, younger butches continue to take them in new and varied directions: They may experiment with their personas from day to day, switching fluidly between masculine and feminine presentation. There are “stone butches,” a label that doesn’t refer to coldness, as is often assumed, but to a desire to touch rather than to be touched — to give rather than receive — and is considered slightly more masculine than “soft butch” on the Futch Scale, a meme born in 2018 that attempted to parse the gradations from “high femme” to “stone butch.” (“Futch,” for “femme/butch,” is square in the middle.) And while there remains some truth to butch stereotypes — give us a plaid flannel shirt any day of the week — that once-static portrait falls apart under scrutiny and reflection. Not every butch has short hair, can change a tire, desires a femme. Some butches are bottoms. Some butches are bi. Some butches are boys.

Different bodies own their butchness differently, but even a singular body might do or be butch differently over time. We move between poles as our feelings about — and language for — ourselves change. “In my early 20s, I identified as a stone butch,” says the 45-year-old writer Roxane Gay. “In adulthood, I’ve come back to butch in terms of how I see myself in the world and in my relationship, so I think of myself as soft butch now.” Peirce, 52, adds that this continuum is as much an internal as an external sliding scale: “I’ve never aspired to a binary,” she says. “From day one, the idea of being a boy or a girl never made sense. The ever-shifting signifiers of neither or both are what create meaning and complexity.”

Indeed, butch fluidity is especially resonant in our era of widespread transphobia. Legler, who uses they/them pronouns, is a “trans-butch identified person — no surgery, no hormones.” Today, the interconnected spectrums of gender and queerness are as vibrant and diverse in language as they are in expression — genderqueer, transmasc, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming. Yet butches have always called themselves and been called by many names: bull dyke, diesel dyke, bulldagger, boi, daddy and so on. Language evolves, “flowing in time and changing constantly as new generations come along and social structures shift,” Bechdel says.

If it’s necessary to think historically, it’s also imperative to think contextually. Compounding the usual homophobia and misogyny, black and brown butches must contend with racist assumptions: “Black women often get read as butch whether they are butch or not,” Gay says. “Black women in general are not seen, so black butchness tends to be doubly invisible. Except for studs: They’re very visible,” she adds, referring to a separate but related term used predominantly by black or Latinx butches (though, unsurprisingly, white butches have appropriated it) who are seen as “harder” in their heightened masculinity and attitude. Gay notes that “people tend to assume if you’re a black butch, you’re a stud and that’s it,” which is ultimately untrue. Still, butch legibility remains a paradox: As the most identifiable of lesbians — femmes often “pass” as straight, whether they want to or not — we are nonetheless maligned and erased for our failure of femininity, our refusal to be the right kind of woman.

ANOTHER LINGERING stereotype, one born from “Stone Butch Blues” and its more coded literary forebears, particularly Radclyffe Hall’s “The Well of Loneliness” (1928), is the butch as a tragic and isolated figure. She is either cast out by a dominant society that does not — will not — ever see her or accept her, or she self-isolates as a protective response to a world that continually and unrelentingly disparages her.

When a butch woman does appear in mainstream culture, it’s usually alongside her other: the femme lesbian. Without the femme and the contrast she underscores, the butch is “inherently uncommodifiable,” Bechdel says, since two butches together is just a step “too queer.” We rarely see butches depicted in or as community, an especially sobering observation given the closure of so many lesbian bars over the past two decades. But when you talk to butches, a more nuanced story emerges, one of deep and abiding camaraderie and connection. Despite the dearth of representation, butch love thrives — in the anonymous, knowing glances across the subway platform when we recognize someone like us, and in the bedroom, too. “Many of my longest friendships are with people who register somewhere on the butch scale,” Peirce says. “We’re like married couples who fell in love with each other as friends.”

Legler, for their part, recognizes a “lone wolf” effect, one in which some young queers initially love “being the only butch in the room.” In organizing the group portrait that accompanies this essay over the past months, Legler was curious “what it would be like for butches to just show up together and to be able to display all of their power, all of their sexiness, all of their charisma, without having it be mitigated in some way.” And not only for butches of an older generation, but for those still figuring things out, transforming the scene in ways that both defy and inspire their elders. “It’s been centuries in the making, the fact that we are all O.K.,” Legler adds. “That our bodies get to exist: We have to celebrate that. You can do more than just survive. You can contribute.”

[bloodline-rpg]

Congratulations, Mak! We have accepted your application for your OC Eden Talbott (FC Summer Bishil). Please create a new blog (not a sideblog) for your character and send us the link via ask box as soon as you can. Welcome to Bloodline!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name/Alias: Mak

Age: 26

Preferred pronouns: she/her

Timezone: CST

Level of activity (don’t give your activity a number value, please describe how active you will be as best as possible): I will be available in the evenings on weekdays and whenever I can on weekends, also factoring in plans I’ve made with friends

CHARACTER DETAILS

Character’s Name: Eden Talbott

Desired FC: Summer Bishil

Character’s Age: 33

Character’s Species: Werewolf

Character’s Sexuality: Lesbian

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY

Eden has been a member of the Devereaux Pack since birth, raised to be a strong and dependable soldier alongside the likes of the Falcos and the Irvings. The Talbotts were unlike the other two families, however, in that they were painfully aware of the fact that their existence was truly a curse. Eden knew from a young age that witches were the cause of their furry existence, that it was a punishment and not a gift, and that being kept under the whip of the Devereauxs was something to resent, not be grateful for. Jakob Talbott, Eden’s father, had no qualms about making his opinion known in the pack, but at a time when the Falcos and Irvings were firmly under the heel of the witches’ boot he dare not do so as openly as he once may have. Talbotts, he always said, were quiet survivors. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open, only whisper truths at night around crackling fires, and the Talbotts would survive their slavers. It was with this knowledge that Eden trained, working harder to maintain strength and close bonds to give herself more ammunition if the moment ever came to strike back. When Keely Irving was gunned down protecting an Original witch and that witch dared run from the scene, Eden was livid. Wolf lives were meaningless to those they protected, simply cattle for the slaughter. It was not long after that when Jakob took it upon himself to tell Elias Irving the truth, that his sister had died for nothing, that there would always be meaningless death if these witch tyrants were to be obeyed. A rage sparked in Elias then, a rage that gave Eden a unique opportunity: everyone in the pack loved Elias Irving. If Elias wanted to change how things were, were to become Alpha and demand respect from the witches, Eden could prop him up and fuel his fire. Her hopes were dashed when Derrick Falco, good little witch puppy that he was, became the Alpha in Elias’ place. In response to this change, Eden did what Talbotts have always done best – kept her mouth shut and her eyes and ears open. There would be another opportunity, especially with all of the witches brought together at the Manor. Everything was slowly falling into one place, literally, and Eden only had to begin pulling at the tenuous threads that held the pack together. After all, why wouldn’t the new, young, impressionable wolves trust her? And the more of them she could bring to the cause, the easier it would be to topple Derrick’s throne.

CHARACTER PERSONALITY

Eden is first and foremost a strategist. She is simmering with anger and resentment towards the witches, but she is not quick to let that come to the surface. As much of a firebrand as Elias can be, Eden has to be the soothing balm to come after if they are going to succeed. On the surface Eden is calm and collected, a tenured wolf with more control than most, but at the end of the day, Eden is looking out for her own best interest. Perhaps that means manipulating younger wolves, pressing on the raw nerves of their emotions laid bare for her to pluck. Perhaps that means putting on a smile and opening her arms to any wolf that feels wronged or slighted, giving them a sense of purpose. Through it all, Eden is calculating with a resolve like iron and whatever closeness you think you may have with her… well, good luck finding out if it’s genuine.

PLOTS AND POLITICS

Eden loathes the Devereauxs, particularly Brigid, and wants nothing more than to see them feel the kind of pain the wolves are put through on a daily basis. They don’t know, they could never understand, and their entitlement makes Eden want to scratch off her fur.

Eden is loyal to Elias and his gang simply because it’s the best means to an end. She will be a strong shoulder for Elias, a confidante, someone pulling the strings behind the scenes to help ensure his victory, but at the first sign that something may be going wrong or she has put herself in danger, Eden would just as soon leave him for dead – or anyone else.

Eden believes that Derrick is terribly naive and too soft to be a true Alpha. She will give him just enough respect to not be out of line, but she does not see how he can possibly believe what he says and also have the best interest of the pack in mind. Her mind could be changed on this, but it would take a hell of a lot of convincing.

At the end of the day, Eden wants respect and freedom. She does not necessarily think that all witches are unforgivable because she knows how a bond would benefit herself greatly, but she does not want to be a lowly guard dog for the rest of her life. She wants to be treated like an equal, respected for the power she possesses and what she can offer, and therefore would be open to differing alliances based on what would benefit her the most.

[brinshannara]

Thanks to @all-the-gay-feels!

Doing this at 12:37am because I’m exhausted but not sleepy after a long day.

The last 1. drink: Water. Which is boring. Before that, hot chocolate. 2. phone call: With my mom earlier this evening. 3. text message:  "Also, you haven’t had to type it a gazillion times” 4. song you listened to: Weak by Seether. 5. time you cried: Couple of nights ago, I believe. Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: No. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yes. (But also not kissed someone and regretted that, too.) 8. been cheated on: Not to my knowledge 9. lost someone special: Yes. Most recently, my grandmother two years ago. 10. been depressed: Yup. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never been drunk. 3 favorite colors 12. Blue 13. Green 14. Purple                                                                                   

In the last year have you: 15. made new friends: Yeah, mostly through work, Twitter and Tumblr. 16. fallen out of love: No, but did get my heart pretty well smashed up. 17. laughed until you cried: Thankfully, dozens of times. 18. found out someone was talking about you: No? 19. met someone who changed you: Nephew #2. It’s impossible to see a newborn I am related to and not change in some fashion. 20. found out who your friends are: Yes, but they were who I thought they were all along. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: a) This would require knowing who the fuck I’m friends with on Facebook (I log in approximately never), b) This would also require kissing someone, which I have not done in quite some time. General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: If memory serves, I know most of my Facebook friends IRL. 23. do you have any pets: Nope. 24. do you want to change your name: I love the hell out of my name. Even my middle name, which I never use. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Turned Old. Did an escape room with four of my closest friends. We escaped with 90 seconds to spare. Then dinner with the family. 26. what time did you wake up: 8:51am. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Emphatically not sleeping. 28. name something you can’t wait for: My PHP class to be over so I can sleep.

... 29 and 30 are AWOL.

31. what are you listening to right now: Spotify Daily Mix 1. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Thomas, but yes, close enough. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My inability to sleep well lately. 34. most visited website: MetaFilter...? 35. hair colour: Brown. (Hello, @taintedidealist ;) ) 36. long or short hair: Getting longer. Nearly shoulder-length now.

Where the hell are 37 and 38?

39. piercings: None 40. blood type: O+ 41. nicknames: Brin is one, I guess, so let’s say that. 42. relationship status:  Single. /waggles eyebrows/ 43. zodiac: Taurus. I come by my stubbornness honestly. 44. pronouns: She and her. 45. favourite tv show: Don’t really have one. Eight months ago, I’d have said Supergirl. Really loving the hell out of Wynonna Earp at the moment, though. 46. tattoos: None. 47. right or left handed: I’m a righty. 48. surgery: None. 49. piercing: ... repeat question. Still none. 50. sport: Downhill skiing. Canoeing. 51. vacation: 2012 trip to Italy probably tops my list. 52. pair of trainers: Nike Pegasus.

More general: 53. eating: Too much sugar. 54. drinking: Tea, milk, water. 55. i’m about to: Sleep. 56. waiting for: ... sleep. haha. Seriously, my trip to IKEA tomorrow night, even though it’s with my parents. 57. want: To get my home office all set up now that my work laptop has arrived. 58. get married: I’m a single Canadian lesbian. Any cute, funny, sweet and smart American lesbians out there want to marry me and immigrate? ;) 59. career: Hit a speedbump, but back on track. Which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: I miss having someone to kiss, but hugs are my favourite. 61. lips or eyes: Eyes. Twinkling eyes. Or deep eyes that you can lose yourself in. 62. shorter or taller: I have never actually been the taller one. I’m 5′4″, though. I am not opposed to being the taller one. 63. older or younger: I’m old enough to know better and young enough not to care too much. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach? 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship all the way. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

Have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: Nope. 68. drank hard liquor: Tasted some, but wouldn’t say I drank enough for this to count. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t wear them, so no. 70. turned someone down: Yup. 71. sex on the first date: Depends on your definition of “first date” 72. broken someone’s heart: Definitely. 73. had your heart broken: Definitely x29784972. 74. been arrested: Nope. 75. cried when someone died: Uh, yes. Friend in Grade 2, both my grandmothers, a family friend... 76. fallen for a friend: ALL THE TIME MAKE IT STOP.

Do you believe in: 77. yourself: Fuck yes, I do. 78. miracles: Occasionally. 79. love at first sight: I believe that we can recognize something that resonates with us in others right away. Not sure if that’s love, but it’s something. 80. santa claus: On Christmas Eve, I still hope he exists. 81. kiss on the first date: Not opposed to it. 82. angels: If there are angels, my grandmothers are chilling with them right now. So sure.

Other: 83. current best friend’s name: Courtney 84. eye colour: Blue, but more grey-blue than piercing blue. My brother got the piercing blue eyes. Jerk. 85. favourite movie: I’m more of a TV person, but I do love a lot of movies. Imagine Me and You. The first two Christopher Reeve Superman movies. Hell, Superman Returns. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. 

Do it if you like:

@taintedidealist @fanaticalqueergeek @radmo

[luncheon-aspic]

Tagged by @spastikchildren - thanx, bro

THE LAST

1. Drink: coffee with a splash of Bailey’s

2. Phone call: to The One Other Butch Lesbian In Town, asking if she was in the downtown area (she wasn’t)

3. Text message: Wow! Thanks!

4. Song you listened to: Gila - Amuk

5. Time you cried: I think I saw some really funny meme a week or two back and laughed until I cried

HAVE YOU

6. Dated someone twice: As in dated, broke up, and then dated again? No. But I’d date my high school sweetheart again in an instant if she broke up with her husband.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Every single guy

8. Been cheated on: I’ve found out that I WAS the other woman multiple times.

9. Lost someone special: Yeah

10. Been depressed: Last serious episode was a few weeks ago. Glad to be on the other side of that -- it was a bad mixed state one.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only a few times

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

1. Vermilion

2. Jewel purple

3. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Of course

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think so?

17. Laughed until you cried: See question 5

18. Found out someone was talking about you: According to my mother, my father often hallucinates that I’m around and literally talks TO me

19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: They were all three goats in a trenchcoat! Dastardly creatures!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Dude, I haven’t kissed anyone since 2014

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Half, probably

23. Do you have any pets: No. :((((((

24. Do you want to change your name: I used to, but not any more.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I was in the capital, so I went to the National Museum and then had margs with a friend and totally went to the mall.

26. What time did you wake up: 11-ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably blogging

28. Name something you can’t wait for: My trip back to visit my parents next month (haven’t seen them in two years)

30.What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: A cool $500 million would be nice.

31. What are you listening to right now: Nothing, actually

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Used to work for one, in fact

33. Something that is really getting on your nerves: Muscle aches, which are my own fault for not stretching out because I’m lazy.

34. Most visited website: Other than this blue hellsite, which I usually access on mobile? edX, probably, or Wikipedia.

35. Mole/s: Plenty

36. Mark/s: My skin’s pretty strange in general

37. Childhood dream: Become an archaeologist... And I did kind of end up in a related field.

38. Hair color: Brown

39. Long or short hair: The few, the brave, the long-haired butches

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Usually

41. What do you like about yourself: I’m not scared to take big risks

42. Piercings: None (I tried getting my ears pierced a couple years ago but it was too much of a hassle care-wise.)

43. Blood type: Red??

44. Nickname: None

45. Relationship status: In a stable and committed relationship with my bed

46. Zodiac: Libra sun and Aries moon

47. Pronouns: Please don’t talk about me I’m sensitive

48. Favorite TV show: Takhta 3 Ratu (as seen in my header)

49. Tattoos: Armband of local-style stylized floral patterns

50. Right or left hand: Left

51. Surgery: I have artificial lenses inside my eyes

52. Hair dyed in different color: Never

53. Sport: That sounds like exercise. :/

55. Vacation: Hot spring getaway in Japan

56. Pair of trainers: Too hot and muddy for those.

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: Just finished a Taiwanese green onion pancake

58. Drinking: See question 1

59. I’m about to: Send yet another Risky Email, because I’m just throwing stuff against the professional wall and seeing what sticks

61. Waiting for: Getting off the plane back in the Bay Area next month

62. Want: Another green onion pancake (alas, it was the last one in the pack)

63. Get married: Same-sex marriage isn’t even a thing where I live, so unless I relocate to somewhere where it is, it would have to be either symbolic or not locally valid. I’m cool with the idea, though.

64. Career: Academic/literary translator and/or oral historian

65. Hugs or kisses: I’m actually not a very touchy-feely person.

66. Lips or eyes: It’s nice when people have both, but I’m not here to shame anyone.

67. Shorter or taller: Taller femmes with shorter butches = gggooOOood shit

68. Older or younger: Not too much of either

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: All arms and stomachs are nice

71. Sensitive or loud: Depends on the situation; I’ve been told by others that I’m very loud, though

72. Hook up or relationship: I just want a girl to look at me. :(((((

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I never hesitate to make trouble for myself.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a stranger: Dude, I don’t even remember the names of half the people I’ve slept with.

75. Drank hard liquor: Uh, once or twice, once or twice...

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Never lost, but I used to accidentally sit on them all the time. The optometrists always teased me that I had 20/20 hindsight.

77. Turned someone down: Of course

78. Sex on the first date: Sure

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes, and I’d really appreciate if he’d stop messaging me.

80. Had your heart broken: Never in a truly lasting way

81. Been arrested: Nope

82. Cried when someone died: The day after

83. Fallen for a friend: Sure

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84. Yourself: I’m still waiting for conclusive evidence of my own existence; so far, all we have are blurry photos and garbled video footage

85. Miracles: Who knows??

86. Love at first sight: Probably not, but I do know that there are people who you meet once and just click with so well that you become genuine BFFs... So who knows??

87. Santa Claus: #iwanttobelieve

88. Kiss on the first date: Heck, your place or mine?

89. Angels: Please no giant flaming wheels covered in eyes I startle easily

OTHER

90. Current best friend’s name: @laurierrose

91. Eye color: Green

92. Favorite movie: Rent-a-Neko (A must for cat lovers! I watched it first while on a trans-Pacific flight and I cried so hard that the flight attendants came over to make sure I was okay.)

Whew! I tag @detectivemindhorn , @just-the-tipton , @scruffymetalcat , @radicalsombra and @blackgirlalmighty if any of you want to delve into your soul and reveal yourself to the world.

[emotional-and-happy]

heck yea got tagged in a thing

thanks @tattooed-destiel​

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people. (If you want.) (ok I'm not sure I've even known 20 people in my entire life sooooo)

LAST: 1. Drink: umm.. water? (i know they mean alcohol but i’m a child) 2. Phone call: last call was one i “missed” from my mum bc i had lost my phone 3. Text message: vodafone telling me i’ve used 80% of my data........ 4. Song you listened to: Revisited by The Antlers 5. Time you cried: two days ago

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no.. 8. Been cheated on: i don't think so 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ?? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Purple 13. Blue 14. Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes 16. Fallen out of love: i wish 17. Laughed until you cried: not sure 18. Found out someone was talking about you: ye 20. Found out who your friends are: ?? what does that even mean??

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

IN GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:  all of them, although some of them its more i knew them when i was 10 and just haven't gotten round to unfriending them 23. Do you have any pets: yes! my dog Rosie - she’s a bichon, but also has some poodle in her, and I have a black and white cat Thomas 24. Do you want to change your name: not sure 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i was away on my school’s classics trip 26. What time do you wake up: during the term 5:50, weekends 7:30 - 9:00, holidays anywhere from 7:30 till midday 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping?? 28. Name something you can’t wait for: I’m pretty excited for next year bc I’m planning to go to Uni, but it means I'm writing heaps of applications now, so that’s stressful 29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: just a second ago when I was downstairs 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish i had more time? like there’s always stuff i want to do, but to do it would mean stopping something i already do, but i like the things i already do ya feel? 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m not listening to any music rn, but i can hear the washing machine if that counts 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes (also my cat’s called Tom) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my damn self  34. Most visited website: youtube or my email 35. Mole/s: ye 36. Mark/s: ye 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be an astronomer for a while there 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: long but I want to cut it short  40. Do you have a crush on someone: meh? not really 41. What do you like about yourself: i can do math kinda which is helpful 42. Piercings: only in my ears 43. Blood type: AB+ i think 44. Nicknames?: My name is one syllable. There is no reason to shorten it. 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: Aries 47. Pronouns: she/her i guess 48. Favorite TV Show: I actually quite like blindspot (apart from the fact that they killed all the lesbians) 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: uhh I got my tonsils out when i was four 52. Hair dyed in different color: no 53. Sport: i mean i dance? also i recently picked up taekwondo 55. Vacation: I’d want to revisit Italy at some point 56. Pair of trainers: The ones i have are pretty old, I've had them since i was 13/14, and not like that fashionable or any thing (honestly i get a bit self conscious about them sometimes but i don't use them enough to justify getting newer ones)

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: too much lol 58. Drinking: m8 i don't even drink enough water 59. I’m about to: do more math lol 62. Want: to get good grades? 63. Get married: ye 64. Career: dream would be film composer, but since i like food + warmth I’m hoping for engineer 65. Hugs or kisses: both 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: idc 68. Older or younger: not noticeably either 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms 71. Sensitive or loud: loud (i’m already way too sensitive) 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I am Both.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drunk hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:  i don't think so 77. Turned someone down: yes ( i feel kinda sorry bc I've turned down 2 guys but they both asked me out before i had really even come out to myself so whoops) 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so

80. Had your heart broken: i guess? 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: i mean it the i exist, i think therefore i am way 85. Miracles: not sure 86. Love at first sight: yep 87. Santa Claus: funny story, my parents never really told sister and i that santa claus was true, like we’d get presents under the tree from our parents and some “from Santa”, but they didn’t try to hide that it was them. so in year two (first grade for any americans) we’re writing letters to santa, so i go to the teacher and say “i know santa is my mum” so the teacher says “fine, write it to your mum, just don’t let any of the other kids know” i don’t really remember what happened next, but i think one of my friends may have seen that i was writing to my mum. They did however let me believe in the tooth fairy and I’d get letters from her which were written by my dad’s boss’s daughter (okay that makes it sound like it was someone we barely knew but we were pretty much family friends with my dad’s boss’s family) 88. Kiss on the first date: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: i couldn’t name just one person so I’m not gonna say anyone 91. Eye color: blue but pretty much grey (although a couple of weeks ago i noticed i had brown flecks in one eye and i asked my dad about it and he said I've always had them but you might only be able to see them in certain lights so the more you know i guess)  92. Favorite movies: okay so theres a bunch of movies i like but there are some that leave you with That Feeling and for me those are V for Vendetta and Dead on Arrival (the 1950 one)

okay so i know I'm meant to tag people but i don’t really talk to anyone on here and i don't want to overstep or anything so i might just leave this blank sorry

[grubby-socks]

Rules: once you're tagged you have to write 93 truths about yourself.

I was tagged by the ever lovely @iswearimartsy this is gonna take ages thanks Meghan ;-; 🌸 LAST…
[1] drink: green tea[2] phone call: one of the parentals 
[3] text message: Teddy [4] song you listened to: Its ok I wouldn’t remember me either by Crywank (a tuuune but not a bop) 
[5] time you cried: yesterday lol 🌸 HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: nope 
[7] been cheated on: again, nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: I played the points game at pride… So yes[9] lost someone special: yep [10] been depressed: Zoloft is my best friend 
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I made myself sick because I felt guilty about the amount of calories in vodka. Does that count? 🌸 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…
[12] sunny yellow
[13] pastel blues and pinks
[14] burgundy 🌸 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: SO MANY !!
[16] fallen out of love: does it count if its platonic[17] laughed until you cried: yep its bizarre 
[18] found out someone was talking about you: a whole fucking form class
[19] met someone who changed you: not to sound sappy but like yeah [20] found out who your true friends are: i could find out who was and I’d still think they secretly hate me
[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: mhm mhm 🌸 GENERAL…
[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’m super picky about who I add ao yeah
[23] do you have any pets: two fish, pickles and fluffy. They are nibbles whilst I was away
[24] do you want to change your name: so much. I’d probably go with Charlie but I’m really liking Bea atm[25] what did you do for your last birthday: went stationary shopping with Lisa and then we went for Korean food with my family! [26] what time did you wake up: in and around 7:50 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching Harry Bakers Ted talks and fangirling about him to teddy… I’m sad I know 
[28] name something you cannot wait for: the leaving cert to END [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: couple of hours ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: to no be on five types of meds lol
[31] what are you listening to right now: outside sounds, spotify crashed 
[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes 
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my maths teacher
[34] most visited website: like actual sites not including apps? Probably the CAO site ;-; or imdb 
[35] elementary: I went to three 
[36] high school: aaaaaa STRESS [37] college: I’m planning on studying in cork so like fingers crossed [38] hair colour: super faded purple
[39] long or short hair: long ish hasn’t been this long since I was a kid jeepers 
[40] do you have a crush on someone: my brain is like ?¿ 
[41] what do you like about yourself: the teensy bit of vitiligo I have is p cute 
[42] piercings: none, I guess you could say I’m UNHOLY 
[43] blood type: glitter apparently 
[44] nickname: oh boy there’s a few. Eeme, beemer/bee, the tiny lesbian, glitter fairy, eems. I was Mollser for awhile as well…
[45] relationship status: single pringle 
[46] zodiac sign: Virgo [47] pronouns: she/her
[48] fav TV show: hmmm TOO MANY OPTIONS. More people should watch Ku'Damm 56 though its fantastic
[49] tattoos: I’m not gonna get one but I’d love a sprig of lavender on my wrist 
[50] right or left handed: right 🌸 FIRST…
[51] surgery: I had a cataract removed last summer 
[52] piercing: none [53] best friend: probably some kid in London [54] sport: ballet, if you don’t think ballets a sport you can fucking fight me and I’ll kick you in the face with an elegant arabesque  
[55] vacation: I was born in London so probably either visiting Irish or German family 
[56] pair of trainers: I used to be so proud of my dunks but idk what my first were 🌸RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: nothing 
[58] drinking: same tea as earlier but its now cold ;-;
[59] I’m about to: study and probably watch Harry Bakers Ted talks again THEYRE GREAT OK
[60] listening to: outside sounds 
[61] waiting for: the radiator to come on my feet are v cold
[62] want: to be warm
[63] get married: I can legally do that now so that’s p cool. Thanks Ireland! Apart from roscommon fuck you roscommon
[64] career: I babysit does that count? I wanna do something biotech-y related to immunology when I’m older though 🌸WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: hugs but I’m bad with physical contact
[66] lips or eyes:eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller its p hard to be shorter than me 
[68] older or younger: as long it’s within the grounds of the two year rule idm but I’d be inclined to go older 
[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic is gross 
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: idk dude 
[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive, me and loud noises don’t go well together 
[72] hook up or relationship: relationship. Hooking up sounds terrifying
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: as long as they don’t do anything they know would freak me out idc 🌸HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger: quick peck but not shift
[75] drank hard liquor: I’ve tried rum and vodka mixed with cider as a mixer lol 
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: turns out I was already wearing them 
[77] turned someone down: I once replied to “I like you” with “OH DEAR” I’m a bad person I know
[78] sex on first date: no thank! 
[79] broken someone’s heart: I’m clearly a heart breaker 
[80] had your own heart broken: ?¿ feelings are a lie [81] been arrested: nope 
[82] cried when someone died: yep 
[83] fallen for a friend: yep whoops it was ages ago tho 🌸DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself: hahaha next question? 
[85] miracles: I exist so like
[86] love at first sight: THAT’S NOT LOVE JULIET STOP THIS [87] santa claus: nah [88] kiss on the first date: on the cheek maybe? I’m not a prude just physical contact is scary and ants [89] angels: again, I exist 🌸OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: I have lots of favourite noodles
[91] eye colour: brown ish?
[92] favourite movie: STOP MAKING ME PICK MY FAVOURITE CHILD. I’m lazy so I’m only gonna tag 3 people: @luke-the-dumbass @aspartameme and @nerdyfangs