#i love him guys i promise i call him a 'hick baby' out of fondness

[simstoyourdismay]

losing my mind rn cause as i was taking christmas pictures of vinny this meme was the only thing going through my head

[calpops]

seven months | c.h.

Seven months of pregnancy leave you and Calum with a world of love, happiness, trials and tribulations and brings an anticipated yet completely unexpected moment.

1.8k words

dates with cal masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

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The positive test result is confirmed and you and Calum feel like you’re floating. The first week of knowing that your family is growing comes with bliss. You can’t help but smile every time you see each other, Calum can’t keep his hands from settling around your waist or delicately resting on your stomach. Duke develops a newfound interest and need to be with you; his senses turning his protectiveness into overdrive. The first week blows by, little red slashes on the calendar keeping count of all the days it will take to greet the newest member of the family.

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Calum says, standing in the kitchen where he cooks up dinner. You haven’t quite developed any crazy cravings yet but it doesn’t stop him from making anything you desire.

“Her?” You ask with an arched eyebrow and smirk.

“Just a guess,” he says with a shrug and smile then adds on, “the right one.”

“I don’t know, love, I think my money’s on a boy,” you reply and let your hand settle on your stomach. As much as Calum’s made it a habit you’ve done so tenfold. You’re not showing yet but the habit comes from comfort.

“You wanna make a bet?” Calum asks, stalling his cooking to eye you. You shift in the stool you’re sat on and question him with a look. “A girl and I win. A boy and you win.”

“What do you propose we win?” you question.

Calum lets out a breath, turns off the stove and moves the pan from the hot burner before rounding the counter to be by your side. He slides his hands around you, holds you, kisses your forehead and smiles. “Bragging rights. And first choice at names,” he proposes and piques your interest. He knows you have a list of names that have swirled through your mind since you got serious together. You have a feeling even if he wins he’ll still consider what you want and you know you’d do the same for him. It’s all in good fun.

“Alright, deal, but we won’t know for a while,” you remind him and seal the deal with a kiss.

More days pass and the complications of pregnancy start to kick in. Cravings and sickness, fatigue and changes plague you. Calum is there for you through it all. He offers comfort and support, takes as much time as he can to be with you, cater to your every whim and need. Though there are challenges both of you stay optimistic and anxious, nearly unable to wait for the day you get to hold the product of love in your arms. You often find yourself speaking of it all, making plans. You’ve yet to tell anyone but Calum’s parents and sister about the pregnancy, opting to keep it to yourselves until enough time has passed that risk margins slim and complications start to fade.

“We should probably tell the guys, at least,” Calum mumbles one night. You lay on your side and gaze at him under thin streams of moonlight coming in through the slats of the blinds.

“Yeah,” you agree, knowing they’re family and should know soon.

“I can tell them at the studio tomorrow,” Calum offers and you watch his eyes shoot up to the ceiling. “Unless you want to be there when they find out.”

You nod. “Oh I think I have to be. Luke did walk me down the aisle,” you remind with a slight giggle and light up when Calum laughs too.

“Stop by for lunch and we’ll tell them together?” Calum offers and you nod, making the plan and looking forward to the reactions to come.

The next day you show up to the studio where Calum greets you with lunch, a smile and a kiss to the cheek. He holds your hand up to where the rest of the band convenes with a shroud of take out boxes around them. You go in without a game plan in place to break the news but feel that might be best, you want telling them to come naturally. You’ve started to show just a touch but it’s easy enough to o disguise with Calum’s hoodie. None of the boys are the wiser or suspect anything when you walk in with Calum.

You get halfway through your meal, making small talk and trading banter, filling the guys in on marital life and the happiness you share when Ashton eyes your odd combo of food and makes a quip.

“I’d say it’s the pregnancy cravings but I’ve always liked this, actually,” you reply without thought and only realize what you’ve said when Ashton laughs but Michael and Calum stay silent and then Ashton falls into the quiet as well.

“Wait, what?” Ashton asks and stands as if the news is so striking he’s not sure what to do with himself. Neither you or Calum respond, the lack of game plan not readying you for the varying responses of shock. “Shut up, are you really pregnant or just trying to give me chest pain?”

Calum laughs and you blush around a giggle. Michael and Luke lean forward, rapt with interest at what answer might come from you two. You start by nodding but it’s not enough for Ashton to believe you and sit back down. He waits for words, waits for Calum to also confirm and when the chorus of confirmation and explanation falls from the two of you he breaks into a grin and finally joins Luke and Michael back on the sofa.

“I really didn’t think Calum would be the first,” Michael muses, hands folded together under his chin, you can see the happiness in his eyes and the unrelenting tilt of his lips.

“The first to have a kid?” Calum asks and throws his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer.

“The first to find love, get married, have a kid, all of it,” Michael clarifies with fondness in his tone. “I’m happy for you,” he adds on and flickers his eyes from Calum to you, making it known he means both of you.

Luke joins in on the sentiment and congratulations, pulls you into a hug and promises he’ll be there whenever you need him, also mentions that he’s already vying for the position of favorite uncle.

“Does anyone else know?” Luke asks after.

“Just my parents and Mali,” Calum answers. “We want to keep it as private as possible for as long as possible.”

You and Calum are no strangers to privacy in your relationship. You’d kept your entire relationship a secret from the public for over a year before an accidental slip of paparazzi outed you, hate swirled and Calum took a stand to tell the world he loves you. Since then you’ve gone back under the radar, preferring to keep to yourselves. Keeping your pregnancy quiet feels only natural. You know there will come a time when it can’t be hidden, but in the meantime you’re going to enjoy every last minute of privacy and solace that you can.

You slowly break the news to other close friends as the weeks go on. It’s over dinner that Calum broaches the subject of making a public announcement. You know it’s time, you’re showing and the probability of being spotted and found out increases day by day. You nod in agreement at his words, how carefully he’s thought it through and what steps he wants to take to do it. A simple instagram post, a simple caption and the comments turned off. You agree and watch over Calum’s shoulder while he scrolls through near endless photos of you, you and him, all of the baby items you’ve obtained over the five months of the pregnancy. He finally decides on a simple photo of his hands on your bump and captions it with your due date and a heart. He posts it so the world knows but you keep your world inside the walls of your home and the love between the two of you.

You spend the next couple of months in an excited bliss. All of your appointments and classes go well. You both decide to be surprised by the gender, still waiting on your bet, still biding time on choosing a name. Calum always says you’ll know when you finally meet her—sticking to his guns about your baby being a daughter. You’ve bought almost everything for the nursery but have yet to get them all put together. The boxes leave a reminder of excitement and fondness in you every time you pass by the door. Habits begin to form as you get ready for the baby to come. Calum sings to your bump, talks to you and the baby, cradles you and speaks of the future so often and vividly you can nearly see it. Everything builds hope in your heart.

***

Calum’s at the studio late one night, texting you, promising you he’s trying to get home as soon as he can when the first sign occurs. Immediately and instinctively you know. You fumble with your phone and dial Calum’s number. It rings only once before he answers and you cut off his greeting.

“It’s happening,” you breathe out.

“Sweetheart, you’re barely seven months, are you sure it’s not Braxton-Hicks?” Calum asks, automatically knowing what you mean, concern is in his tone but the drone of background noise over the phone cuts through.

You nod, tears in your eyes, knowing he can’t see you and then manage to get out a cracked ‘yes’. It suddenly feels like the world you’ve been living in is moving too fast. It’s happening too soon and instead of an anticipated and joyous occasion you’re bombarded by a time unexpected and only worries following. You know complications exist with premature birth and they rattle through your brain and instill fear into you when all you want to be feeling is happiness.

Calum doesn’t hesitate when he knows you’re certain. “Mali’s closer, she’ll bring you to the hospital and I’ll meet you, okay? Ash will call her, just breathe, it’s gonna be okay.”

You want to believe him, have always been able to put your faith into his words. But this is out of his control.

“I’m scared,” you confide, voice small and shaking with the two words.

“Stay on the phone with me. I’m right here,” he soothes. “It’s gonna be okay,” he repeats and now you wonder if it’s for you or to convince himself, knowing that realizations of the situation have caught up with him. Noting the tiniest hint of fear in his voice.

You hold onto his words, the sentiment, the sound of his voice as he tries calming you. He stays on the phone with you as Mali shows up, through the car rides that separate you and only hangs up when he sees you being wheeled into the check in desk. He strides for you, takes your hand in his and repeats words that have become a mantra.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

You try to believe him as your world spins on and you’re powerless to the future. You don’t let go of his hand or his hope.

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[mrstomummyandbeyond-blog]

New Journey... New Blog?

September 26th 2019. Elijah is 7 weeks old and weighing in at 13lbs 2.5oz

It would definitely be fair to say that an awful lot has changed since I last posted a blog... I truly LOVED writing my wedding blog, and had every intention after we had settled into our home to continue writing about the ups and downs of being a wife, how I was adapting to married life and had even thought about looking for some other newlyweds to submit posts and having an interactive blog about the lives of wives. Then four months into our married life we discovered some wonderful news, we were expecting a little bundle of joy. Not exactly as planned, but we were over the moon and so excited. 

I then thought repeatedly throughout the pregnancy, maybe I should write blogs about this to document for my future self to look back on with fond memories. That didn't happen either, in February we took a big leap and moved from our home in Birmingham back to Wales to live with my parents, mostly for money saving reasons to allow me to be able to take a longer maternity leave once our little fella was here, but also because I realised I was extremely homesick. We both thankfully got new jobs and started working full time again within the same month as we had moved out. 

I can honestly say that apart from growing a larger baby, pregnancy really was a breeze for me. I didn't really suffer with morning sickness, or any type of sickness really. My absolute worst pregnancy related ailment was heartburn, but drinking 2 pints of milk a day seemed to resolve that enough for me. Oh and the fact that I felt like a WHALE throughout most of it, I didn't think it was possible for my stomach to grow and stretch the way it did. It’s safe to say that the bigger I got the more I wanted my boy out, and when his due date came and went I was quite disappointed. A week to the day after he was due Elijah decided to make his appearance at 6.14pm, on the Fourth of August 2019. 

Disclosure - next bit is going to be about labour, the actual birth and postpartum recovery, so skip it if you don't want to know the gory (not that gory) details. 

I really surprised myself during my labour, I expected to be a total wimp and need the epidural before I was even 4cm dilated! I woke up at around 4am in pain but not sure whether it was contractions, Braxton Hicks or just Elijah kicking extra hard.. It had become commonplace during my last few weeks of pregnancy to be awake at all sorts of hours of the night, uncomfortable from the little guy wriggling. So I went into his nursery and sat in the rocking chair as that usually calmed him down and made me feel more comfortable. It hadn't worked and so at around 5am I went back into our bedroom and woke Kurtis up to tell him I thought I was in labour but I needed to time the contractions. At the time Kurtis was starting work at 6.30am so he said “ok, well I have to be up for work in an hour so just let me know if you are actually in labour” and then rolled over and went back to sleep. No I am not kidding, I told my husband I thought I was in labour and he rolled over and went back to sleep. I could've killed him!! 

At around 6am after timing the pains and coming to the conclusion I was most definitely in labour I decided to have a bath, in an attempt at easing the discomfort. It is most definitely true when they tell you that your body finds weird and wonderful ways of evacuating EVERYTHING to make sure there isn't anything in the way of the baby. I was sick, everywhere... this of course set off the ‘oh my this is really happening, what do I do’ panic. Fortunately for me my mum and Kurtis rushed to my aid, and they were both the most supportive birthing partners a girl could ask for throughout the whole thing. By 7am I was cleaned up, dressed and downstairs trying to eat some toast and drink a cuppa tea. We called the labour ward and they said ‘yep, take some paracetamol and make your way down to the hospital’. By 8am I was in the Princess of Wales hospital on the labour ward being examined by the doctor. I was 3cm dilated and she offered to put in a 6 hour gel to speed up the contractions.. definitely worked. I was in a lot of pain so they gave me codeine to ease it up... contractions continued and the pain relief appeared to me to be doing nothing.

I was on a ward with five other people who were all supposed to be in the same stage of labour as I was, now either I am a total wimp or we were in totally different stages of labour. The midwife then suggested maybe a hot bath would help make me more comfortable, it did for a little while but as soon as I got out of the bath the pain was relentless so I went back to the midwife and said I really couldn't cope and please could I have some other form of pain relief. 

They offered me pethidine, this in itself deserves its own dedicated blog because it was AWFUL. Pethidine for me gave absolutely no pain relief for the contractions, though it did make me sleep in-between them which was somewhat nice I suppose. However during the contractions I was in more pain than ever. They wanted me to lie on my back so I could be on the monitors so they could asses the stage of labour, but lying flat was excruciating.. The senior midwife told me that I was probably still be around 4-5cm dilated because of the strength of contractions showing on the monitor; however I later found out that it was possible to labour in your back (which I clearly was) and that contractions felt in your back would not show up on the monitor. 

They wouldn't examine me as ‘they don't like to interfere too much, just in case it complicates things for the baby’ (their words not mine!)... So I continued on with the pain, screaming through every contraction (sorry to the other people on that ward, I’m sure I was super annoying) until my waters broke. Mum went and got the midwife as there was a little blood mixed in (normal apparently) and had to demand they examine me... It was a good job they did as I was 8.5cm dilated and having the urge to push. They quickly rushed me over to a delivery room and this is where they broke the news - I had to get up off the bed and walk to the other bed before I could give birth. In the state I was in this felt like an impossible task, I did it  by some miracle and from here on out everything is a liiiittle bit hazy. 

Mum and Kurtis told me that as soon as I had the gas and air I seemed to be relieved from a lot of the pain and I said “Why don't they start you on this stuff, its fantastic”... Clearly the gas and air was working. I don't remember any of the hour and fifteen minutes I spent trying to get our baby out, but Kurtis and Mum tell me I was very irritable, and kept asking questions about programmes I had been watching while being kept up at night by baby kicks. I do however remember the feeling of actually giving birth, and it being the most surreal amazing thing I had ever experienced. The instant love I felt for our baby boy when I heard his cry for the first time and they placed him on my chest is honestly indescribable. The doctor mumbled something about needing to stitch up the incision she had made, but I didn't care about that; I had my baby and that was all that mattered. 

I think this post has gone on long enough now, but I have definitely re-discovered my love for writing and so will continue posting here about life with Elijah. I'm not going to make promises about the frequency I'll post, because lets be real with a newborn promising you’ll do anything is pointless, they set all of the routine and rules.