#i love how much foreshadowing jello puts in this thing

[solarvh]

JELLO YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME

[dogbearinggifts]

What are your thoughts on tua S2? Did you feel like the characters grew? What did you like? What did you not? I’m interested in your perspective. Your analysis are super thoughtful and interesting!

Aw, thanks, Anon!

Overall, I really enjoyed S2 and thought it was a solid follow-up to S1. I do have my quibbles about it, so I think (for ease of reference and because my thoughts are a little scattered today) I’ll list some of my personal highlights (in no particular order) before getting into what I didn’t like as much.

Big spoilers ahead.

Allison. I thought they handled her storyline especially well. Of all the siblings, I think she had the most difficult obstacles placed in her way (not only is she a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas, but she’s a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas who can’t even speak in her own defense for a year) and they sugarcoated exactly none of it. The writers pulled no punches when showing what civil rights protesters went through, which just made their nonviolent response all the more breathtaking. Allison’s fear and anger during those scenes were palpable even as she kept them hidden. But along with that horror, we see the kindness and warmth of the Dallas Black community, the women who take her in simply because she needs their help, and her love for Ray, perhaps heretofore THE most thoughtful husband ever portrayed on screen. I loved him, and I loved him and Allison together. While I understand and respect his choice to stay in 1963, I wish they’d gotten more time together. They both deserved it.

Vanya. We got to see how much the baggage from her past affected her by glimpsing what she might be like if it were taken away. It’s an interesting philosophical question, and it was explored well, in my opinion. She finds it easier to love and be loved, and she stands up for herself more readily—but she also doesn’t hesitate to use powers she can’t quite control and threatens Five without fully realizing how dire her threat is (or how it might dredge up traumatic memories she doesn’t know exist). The moment where Ben finds her curled up, fully convinced she’s a monster, was heartbreaking. I loved watching her find happiness with Sissy, even if that was fleeting (and dear god, Sissy deserved her happy ending with Vanya, dammit, I don’t care if it would fuck up the timeline). Her patience and sweetness with Harlan were just beautiful. And the way she used the confidence she gained during her amnesia to fully come into her own not to exact revenge on her siblings, but to save them, was fucking phenomenal.

The humor. There was a lot more humor this season, and it was awesome. So many iconic scenes—Olga Foroga, Luther babysitting two homicidal Fives, Elliot awkwardly lecturing his guests on the history of Jello, “NEW TIMELINE NEW ME,” “Your vagina needs glasses,” AJ the fish gobbling up the cigarette bubbles, Five getting to say “fuck”….this season was a lot funnier than the previous one, and I think that was one of its strengths.

Klaus’ cult. It was played for laughs, which I both expected and thought was the best way to handle it. He didn’t want to start a new religion with himself at the center; he just wanted to not get thrown out of any more diners, but Destiny’s Children had other ideas. The “I too am a fraud!” scene was hilarious and tickled the question of whether or not a religion founded on false pretenses can still help those within it find meaning.

Luther. Getting him away from his dad, his siblings, and the Academy was exactly what he needed to become the pure of heart and dumb of ass genius we always knew he was, but his first major step in that direction was heartbreaking. We all knew he’d be rejected once he got to the Academy. We all knew Reginald would rip his heart out and stomp on it in his admittedly fashionable shoes. It gets Luther out on his own and forces him to become his own person apart from his dad, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. He got the positive character development he needed, but the catalyst was tragic.

Diego. We see, for the first time, exactly how Reginald kept him in line—not with meds or with PTSD-inducing torture, but with words. Even when he knows Diego as little more than a stranger, Reginald is able to rip off his skin and fling it in his face with a single diatribe; and even at 30, with years away from his dad, Diego is left unable to speak, feeling as if all of his accomplishments up to that point were the work of a dumb kid who thought he was smarter and more capable than he actually was.

Luther and Diego sharing a braincell. Luther has bad ideas. Diego has bad ideas. When they put their bad ideas together, they get terrible ideas. I loved watching them work together as a team, rather than being at each others’ throats for most of the season, even if I’m left hoping Olga Foroga had a pleasant and quiet day after that phone call.

Reginald. At first glance, it may look like the writers were trying to make him likable so they could parade him around as your average abusive-parent-with-a-soft-side. But it’s more nuanced than that. Abusive parents (and abusers in general) often fly under the radar because they fool outsiders into thinking they’re good people. They’re active in their communities. They give to charity. They have friends who attest to their virtue, significant others who think they’re the greatest. And that’s what we see with Reginald. We see him as the rest of the world did: an intelligent, eccentric man with a sharp sense of humor who cared deeply about scientific advancement. That’s how he evaded suspicion—because there were stories from years past of lively parties at his mansion, of what a gentleman he was to Grace and of how he did everything he could to save little Pogo. But those stories would all have come from people he considered his equals. When he’s with people he considers his inferiors—aka, the Umbrella kids—he’s openly condescending and demeaning. We get to see how he fooled the world, and it is chilling.

Elliot. He deserved better, and you can ship him with any one of the Hargreeves kids and get the cutest thing ever. 

The Swedes. They said so much while speaking very little.

Ben. He got more personality and screen time, and it was glorious. His love of his family and resentment toward Klaus practically leapt off the screen. The way he says “I’ve missed you all…so much” once they’ve all left was one of those right-in-the-feels moments; and watching him get so much of what he’s wanted for years when he possesses Klaus was beautiful.

Now, as for things I took issue with….

Ben. I understand why they ended his arc the way they did. I get that they were probably afraid the Klaus/Ben dynamic would grow stale if they didn’t change it somehow and wanted to give him a larger role in S3. His death(???) was heartbreaking and extremely well-done. But it also wasn’t foreshadowed. We never got any sense of what ghosts in the TUA ‘verse are, so the fact they can be destroyed by a ton of sound-turned-energy or by going too far into someone’s psyche or whatever happened….it’s not that it doesn’t make sense so much as there’s not enough evidence to determine whether or not it makes sense. It feels like the writers just kinda made that up so they’d have a reason to change Ben’s relationship dynamics, but if that’s the case, couldn’t they have done it another way? Couldn’t they have made it so the immense energy or psychic woo-woo or whatever gave him a power-up instead of destroying him? Vanya transferred some of her energy into Harlan and brought him back to life. Couldn’t something similar have happened with Ben? And if it tied him to Vanya as well as to Klaus, great! More fodder for angst and humor! (”Vannyyyyyyyy, stop hogging Ben!” “You got him for 17 years, Klaus, you can part with him for 20 minutes.” “Guys, don’t I get a say in this?”) I’m glad they didn’t write him out of the series entirely, but I still wish they’d kept him and all the character development he’d gotten throughout S2.

Episode 10. It looks like they tried to cram half a season’s worth of developments into 45 minutes. Twenty minutes in, I’d already said “Wait what the fuck” half a dozen times. A lot of those moments were explained later on, and I was able to make enough inferences to fill in any lingering plot holes, but…still. Too much stuff, too little time. E9 was a perfectly satisfying ending to the season. Yes, it leaves the siblings stranded in 1963, but they could’ve tied up those loose ends in the S3 premiere.

Lila. She’s an incredibly fun character, but her arc is kind of a mess. Most of that is due to E10, and I do feel that more time to let her arc breathe would’ve worked wonders, but I’m left feeling like her turn from “Handler is the best mom ever and I lurve Diego too” to “KILL DIEGO AND HIS EVIL FAMILY” to “Handler is a bad mom and Diego is right” happened too quickly.

The Commission. Okay, so, the Handler announces the entire Board has been killed, and she’s stepping in as director even though everyone appears to know she’s been demoted (and demoted pretty severely—she went from having an office bigger than some apartments to being a case management drone). There’s suspicion and lots of it. But then, La Resistance is….ten or so people in a single room? And when she calls the temps agents to her side, thousands of them show up ready and willing to fight and die? I dunno. Just seems like there should’ve been more splintering going on there. Again, I think they needed more time to tie everything up.

Aside from those complaints, I loved the season. I set aside most of a day to binge it, and I do not regret that decision at all.

[epitheterasedgen]

hi hi so I sent an ask around when you made the Epithet!Switched scripts, and now I’ve written most of my AU scripts (they probably won’t be published, I’d have to explain a lot of stuff) and I’d like to ask; do you have any tips on making scenes different from canon? Also, any tips on battle scenes? That’s where I really struggle. Thanks!! (Also, all of your advice you’ve given already really helped!!)

Oh, hi! You’re serious! Awesome!! :0 Most people who start a project never follow up, so the fact you’re sticking to it— especially if you’re not posting it and just writing for yourself— is a very good sign! I’ll put advice under the cut since it’ll get a little (okay, VERY) long.

Making scenes different from canon

As I mentioned before, I always wrote down the most important points of a scene before writing it. That means stuff that’ll affect the plot— characters’ first appearances, new teams being formed, any time the arsene amulet changes hands, ect.— and then I thought about how to get to those points specifically using the changes I made. After all, the promise of the premise is what makes your script different from the original: what points make your script worth reading? For instance, if an Epithet is changed, you need to find a way to parallel what the original one did by using the new one. And don’t be afraid to think outside the box! (More on this in battle scenes.)

But before that, don’t just ignore the small moments— analyze their purpose, break them down, and then see if there’s a way to reconstruct them. For example: When we first see Ramsey’s silhouette in EE, he makes a pun about having an “eye for these things,” and then his golden eye glints. That’s a joke (albeit one you might not catch on the first watch) followed immediately by a hint to his Epithet. So to mirror that, I had Zora say “I do know a thing or two about antiques,” and proceed to ripen an apple in her hand. It’s not AS good a joke, but it keeps the same purpose as the original, while still being interesting to read! The line “I do have an eye for these things” would technically still work for Zora, but it would no longer a pun, and it wouldn’t clue us into her epithet. Meaning it wouldn’t be unique, AND you’d lose the whole purpose of the line (comedy and foreshadowing). Jello is a VERY good writer. Almost every line can be scrutinized for purpose, and there are so many jokes crammed in— EE is a comedy, after all.

Battle Scenes

Hohhhh boy. This was the part that was the trickiest for me, but it essentially follows the same rules as dialogue scenes: find the most important points, and work backwards to make them happen using your changes. It especially helped me to break the fight scenes into sections— the battle scene with Sylvie (who, in my script, is replaced with Percy) is the best example of this. After watching that scene over and over again (seriously, OVER and over again— if you wanna be a writer, you better be ready to rewatch), I realized that Sylvie’s battle scene vaguely represents a video-game boss fight… that is, it’s broken into three parts. I actually referred to each as “fight A, B, and C” while I worked on it. Battle A is the minion stage, when Sylvie sends out his counting sheep from afar to attack the main duo. Battle B is actually the most important, not because it’s a new attack but because it holds the emotional climax between the main duo. And Battle C is the close-combat final form, very much like a boss in a video game who gets a sick new design and a remix of their theme.

Perhaps the most challenging part of all this is knowing which parts of the structure are most crucial to keep intact— which, I’ll tell you right now, is anytime the characters have an emotional beat. In other words, Molly (or, in my script, Gio) MUST have the breakdown, and Gio (or, in my script, Molly) MUST save them. It’s a bonding moment. It’s what MAKES US CARE about everything else that happens. So, Battle B was pretty easy to figure out: give Giovanni a fear to parallel Molly’s, and have Molly save him. It’s unfortunate his fear couldn’t tie into his backstory, but Jello’s script is so tight, it’s basically impossible to replicate. Besides, I didn’t have the “create your greatest fear” trope to cheat with, so I had to work with what Percy’s powerset could already do, and claustrophobia was the easiest fear to create, keeping that in mind.

The hard part for me was realizing that I needed to switch (hah) the structures of battles A and C— that is, I still kept the “final form” until the end, but I gave the “close combat” section to Battle A, and made the “minion” stage the climax (Battle C). This decision was because Percy is the boss, not Sylvie— and her powers are based on a Tower Defense Game. It’s all about going back to the promise of the premise. Giving Percy a Beefton-like power wouldn’t just feel like a ripoff, it straight-up wouldn’t WORK. Sylvie can turn into Beefton because “he can bring dreams to life, and Beefton is HIS dream.” But there’s NO way Percy can bring something to life, let alone an imaginary friend. So I had to look at Percy’s powerset and make something cool out of it, which ended up being a Tower-Defense inspired “obstacle course” for Giovanni to parkour through (because, in the end, he had to be the one to defeat the boss).

I hope this helps you; thanks so much for asking my advice! I love gushing about my writing process, and also how good Jello’s writing is X”D

[bookishreviewsblog]

Rick Riordan: The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) | Lara

All year the half-bloods have been preparing for battle against the Titans, knowing the odds of victory are grim. Kronos's army is stronger than ever, and with every god and half-blood he recruits, the evil Titan's power only grows. While the Olympians struggle to contain the rampaging monster Typhon, Kronos begins his advance on New York City, where Mount Olympus stands virtually unguarded. Now it's up to Percy Jackson and an army of young demigods to stop the Lord of Time.

In this momentous final book in the New York Times best-selling Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, the long-awaited prophecy surrounding Percy's sixteenth birthday unfolds. And as the battle for Western civilization rages on the streets of Manhattan, Percy faces a terrifying suspicion that he may be fighting against his own fate.

I AM NOT OKAY.

That’s it. The last book is behind me and I don’t know how I feel, but I know I liked this way more than I thought I would. Percy pulled me in his world and I was unable to leave it. I read every book in less than two days and was in a constant state of thinking about it. This book was just the epic finale these series needed and my heart is full now that I can finally stand up proudly and say I have read Percy Jackson xd

This book had the most amazing plot and exactly what I needed for a brilliant ending. The entire plot is, in fact, one big battle of demigods and Kronos’s army. Gods are away, fighting their ancient enemy Typhon, so Olympus is left unguarded. Kronos, still in Luke’s mortal body, but gaining strength rapidly, marches with a huge number of monsters and allies that want to bring Olympus down. Mortals are under a sleeping spell and basically, the entire New York is a battlefield. Most of the plot was focused on the attack on New York and it was really intense, dynamic and impossible to put down. Certain fates are becoming inevitable, prophecies are being fulfilled, while some demigods might not live long enough to see the outcome of this vicious and destructive war.

“It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”

I am usually not a big fan of prophecies and insights in the future, but Riordan did a great job, with carefully planned foreshadowing and unpredictable words of Oracle. They always carried multiple meanings, meant to draw readers attention on things completely opposed to the final course of events, thereby creating tension and opening a lot of space for shocking plot twists. I really enjoyed reading about Percy and Nico, their growing friendship and plan to destroy Kronos and slowly coming to an end and revelation of the Great Prophecy, that has its roots planted all the way from 70 years ago.

I loved all characters, their interactions, and development. They’ve come such a long way from where they started and I realized how much they have all grown. I enjoyed every part of this story with them and they have earned a permanent spot in my heart uwu

· Luke Castellan – I loved a lot of characters in this book, but Luke absolutely stole the show. He was the perfect villain and I loved reading about his past and parentage, reasons why he chose the path on which he is now and finally, his struggle against Kronos and redemption. I just started crying when Hermes talked about him and his backstory made me so sad, but inspiring and I think he might be one of my favorite villains (he just reminded me of Darth Vader a lot xD)

· Annabeth Chase – Fabulous little architect daughter of Athena. She is just really cute and brave and I love her, someone please give her a break from all people who are trying to use her

“The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.”

· Percy Jackson – Seaweed brain!!! Percy was, as always, cute badass sarcastic king of the sea who just has the best sense of humor in the universe. (AND PERCABETH!!!)

· Nico di Angelo – I just love my little curly lord of the dead I’d like to adopt him

I guess I’m done, sorry if this review is messy my brain is turning to jello. Anyway, I loved these books and am so glad that I have finally picked up Percy Jackson. HOO is pretty high on my tbr so I’ll be back in Riordan’s world pretty soon.

[letscuttothefeeling]

season three episodes nine & ten

Okay everyone, after a short hiatus, I’m back and ready to reenter the world of Siesta Key, much like Alex after his long-awaited return in episode three of this season. There’s a lot of ground to cover here, (over yonder and hither north), and a lot of bare ass to see. So let’s just cut to the feeling!

The summer’s third most important event on the Key, following closely behind Alex’s birthday which didn’t happen, and the Kompothecras Autism fundraiser which has yet to happen, is the Fourth of July. We all know how much the cast loves a themed bathing suit party and an excuse to take as many blueberry and watermelon Smirnoff Jello shots as possible, so this day is an honored tradition! But this year, we discover Juliette will not be participating in the annual debauchery. She’s under the impression that Alex and Alyssa will attend BG’s pool party, so in a rare moment of maturity (sorry Jules, but you know it’s true), she decides to work the holiday instead so that Blend, the boutique she works for, will be ready for its opening party. We love to see her contribute so thoroughly to Florida’s flourishing haute couture scene. But she’s mistaken – Alex and Alyssa are actually planning to head to Alyssa’s lake house in Georgia. (Go Dawgs! Sic em! Woof Woof!) Alyssa has invited Alex’s self-proclaimed “posse” consisting of JJ, Jared, Amanda, and Chloe. Her best friend Madi will also be there. I love being introduced to cast members’ friends because the company people keep is very telling of their overall aesthetic and vibe. Madi’s Instagram bio says that “chaos makes the muse,” and from that, I can assume that she’s a basic white girl who is obsessed with Show Me Your Mumu and uppers. How fitting!

Every girl who exclusively wears Show Me Your Mumu’s feed

While everyone is finalizing their FOJ plans, Madisson is enjoying a romantic evening at Ophelia’s On the Bay with Ish. This classic Siesta Key establishment is reserved for special occasions, so I’m already at the edge of my seat wondering what is going on in Ish’s shiny, bald head. Ish pulls a small jewelry box out of his pocket, and I’m breathlish. I mean, breathless. Is Ish going to propose?! Madisson’s face lights up, then falls when she sees the box has a necklish in it instead of a ring. Bummer! But rest assured, the jovial grin returns to Madisson’s face moments later when Ish asks her to move in with him! I mean, she’s quite literally giggling with excitement. Whatever happened to playing it cool? In fact, Madisson is SO jazzed that she suggests Ish come to lunch with her entire family soon, since her older sister, Paige will be in town. You may remember Paige as the girl who hooked up with both Pauly and Canvas, two major SK players. Fabulous track record. I can’t wait to see her again.

Country roads, take me home! We have arrived in Albany, Georgia and are ready to hit the lake and celebrate America! But before the celebration can begin, everyone must decide who is rooming with who. Chloe quickly nixes the possibility of Amanda rooming with JJ, and later chastises Amanda for even thinking about rooming with her toxic ex. Between you and me, Amanda looks quite peeved with her friend’s overbearing orders. After everyone gets settled, and Jared makes a connection with Alyssa’s friend Madi, Chloe walks inside and sees Alyssa shucking corn, something Alyssa apparently thinks only happens in the south, even though everyone literally everywhere who eats corn needs to shuck it. Alyssa confides in Chloe about Alex’s recent shuck up – his confession that he was on the phone with Juliette for six hours. Chloe lets it slip that Alex only admitted his wrongdoing to Alyssa after Chloe pushed him to do it, which makes Alyssa angry. She confronts Alex about it, and all I have to say is that if this is any indication of how Alex responds when presented with damning evidence, I do not want him representing me. He immediately gets defensive and angry at Chloe, and as much as I hate to admit it, Alyssa holds her own. She gets mad at Alex for attacking Chloe for simply telling the truth. Instead of just owning up to what he’s done wrong, Alex stammers out a half-apology and looks ready to fight Chloe. Oh no.

Cut to JJ and Amanda, grilling up some burgers and a hot conversation! After discussing their rekindled flame despite their tough past, Amanda tells JJ about another wrench in their road to romance – Chloe’s blatant disapproval. JJ looks really annoyed with the intrusion. I mean, he’s had to deal with BG, the fact that he cheated on Amanda multiple times already, and now this?! It’s so unfair. Speaking of BG, back on the Key, Brandon’s party is in full swing. You know what else is in full swing? The bare ass of a girl attending the party. Listen, I know the show loves to transition scenes by showing close-ups of scantily clad females, but this is just not something I can get behind. (Ha!) In all seriousness though, readers, please consider using something more than floss to cover your asshole if you ever find yourself on national television.

There’s more than one ass at this party, and her name is Kelsey. Sorry Kelsey stans, but this scene is just so violently cringe-worthy that I almost threw the remote at my screen. Kelsey can be so off-putting when she tries to flirt. But she’s hot and on a reality show so I’m not too worried about it. G Baby approaches Kelsey and asks her where “Jakey-poo” is. It’s worth noting that the robots controlling Garrett are becoming increasingly upsetting as well. Kelsey informs the Robot Garret that Jake is “over yonder, hither north” and then giggles/hiccups. I’m actually grimacing as I type this. Their nauseating display reminds me of why they’re actually perfect for each other. Foreshadowing, maybe? Kelsey then asks the question we’ve all been wondering – are Cara and Garrett still talking? Garrett says that they are not talking anymore, which is exactly what BG says about Amanda when Madisson asks. And as the fireworks explode in the night sky, I can’t help but think about the lack of fireworks in the love lives of our beloved cast. 

Back at the lake, tensions are rising faster than the current unemployment rate. Chloe seems to be the common denominator in everyone’s annoyance, and at dinner, everything comes to a head. Looking directly at Chloe, Alex asks, “Chloe, I know you like hanging out with us, but are you more of a team Juliette girl?” Chloe warns him “not to go there,” but Alex keeps pushing, accusing Chloe of being “finnicky.” Alex Merriam- Webster Kompothecras back at it again with the BURNS! Nice try buddy, I guess they don’t have vocab in law school. (I believe Alex meant to say “fickle,” but let me know your thoughts.) Chloe fires back by asking Alex a question – why hasn’t he made things official with Alyssa yet? Future Lawyer Alex blesses us yet again with a genius rebuttal: “Why? Because… I’ve… learned that… you shouldn’t push things. And when… the time is right...” Chloe cuts him off by reiterating that Alex still continuously hits Juliette up. At this point, I feel so bad for Alyssa who is just sitting there like a vegetable. But before I can focus on how painfully awkward she must feel, Amanda randomly starts butting in and yelling at Chloe for inserting herself in everyone else’s relationships. Chloe inserting herself in other people’s lives is literally the core theme of the show. Please get over it. Amanda keeps yelling because she’s clearly annoyed with Chloe’s criticism of JJ, and as JJ sits there, harrowingly silent, Chloe tells Amanda to fuck off and storms out of the lake house. Let’s all pray she didn’t drive home. The night isn’t all bad though – after the fight, Jared ends up sealing the deal with Madi, who insists that she “usually doesn’t do this on the first night.” Okay, sweetie. After Jared is unable to perform, the night, which began on an explosive note ends on a rather underwhelming one.

The fourth may be over, but the aftermath from the day remains. And what better way to catch up on the day’s events than over lunch? As Chloe meets up with Juliette to explain what happened at the lake, Madisson takes Ish to meet up with her entire family and break her news to them. I predict that while Chloe and Juliette’s lunch will go swimmingly, Madisson and Ish’s lunch will turn sour quickly. And I’m right! Juliette drinks in every last detail of Chloe’s public fight with Alex. I’m proud of her for steering clear of the drama this time, but I’m not naïve. Juliette can only be on the Key drama-free for so long. Let’s check in with Madisson. As anticipated, this is not going well. After Madisson’s mom asks if she is pregnant, and Madisson’s Dad refuses to acknowledge that she and Ish are anything but “just friends,” Madisson tells her family that she plans to move to Los Angeles with Ish. They appear less than pleased. It is a stark contrast from Madisson’s giddy reaction when he initially proposed the idea. Ish gently reminds her family that while Madisson would like their blessing, she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. He knows their situation is “so unique”, but hopes they will grow to accept their relationship. Paige, Madisson’s sister, breaks her silence. While Madisson was hoping she might be an ally for their relaysh, she turns out to be team parent. “Unique…?” Paige questions. “Isn’t this more of a cliché? The old Hollywood producer sleeping with the actress…” Ouch! And here I thought her father was the harsh one!

While Madisson’s relationship becomes increasingly rocky, Alex decides to take things up a notch with Alyssa. During a bizarre conversation in which he essentially admits that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend, Alex seals the deal with Alyssa and asks her to be official. I wonder what prompted him to take the next step! Could it have been Chloe point-blank asking him why he hadn’t made things official with Alyssa the night before? We may never know. Regardless, Alyssa accepts the clearly sincere offer and Siesta Key has a new power couple. “Wait,” you might be thinking. “New power couple? But what about Ish and Madisson?” Oh, thanks for the reminder. Alex and Alyssa are only able to overthrow this couple because…they’re done. Gasp! In a shocking scene, Ish breaks up with Madisson on national TV. If I’m Madisson, a stunning 25-year-old girl who is D-List famous and kind of intelligent, I’m furious. How dare my old, overweight ex-producer dump my ass in front of all of America. But after Ish says he needs space and doesn’t think they should be together, Madisson just starts to softly cry and runs off-screen, away from her now ex-Father ex-boyfriend. I am torn because I know that Ish means well. It’s like that time in Stephanie Meyer’s classic American novel, New Moon. When Edward realizes that his relationship with Bella puts her safety and ability to lead a normal life at risk, he knows he must leave her. Even if it’s the last thing he wants to do. He must act out of selfless love. Eventually, though, he comes back to Bella…we can only hope for the same fate for Dadisson.

Speaking of exes, let’s check in on everyone’s least favorite exes, Boring Robby and Juliette! Boring Robby is throwing some sort of strange soirée, and it’s a little awkward that Juliette is there considering the last time these two saw each other it ended rather abruptly. But Juliette, on a mature streak, pulls Boring Robby aside and apologizes for the harsh convo. She invites him to the Blend opening as a peace offering, and even though he accepts, Boring Robby can’t help but push for a few more answers. He asks Juliette why she would ever say she loved him, and Juliette responds by explaining that while she did love him, she wasn’t in love with him, because she felt like he was “fatherly.” Okay y’all, you’ve heard of getting friend-zoned, but today we’re introducing you to a new dating trend, getting “dad-zoned!” She ends the talk by saying that she’s ready to make her own decisions without the influence of any man. Yas kween! The only other notable thing that happens at this party is that Garrett refers to himself as the “G-Slanger,” which to me, is really thrilling.

But not everyone is dartying today. Despite their blowout, business aficionados Chloe and Alex must meet at the Crescent Club to “work.” Before they hit the books, Chloe expresses her frustration with Alex. She explains that Alex is now doing the same thing Juliette did at the beginning of the summer. He’s mad at Chloe for continuing to be friends with Juliette. And WHY can’t she be friends with both!? Alex vehemently denies this claim but agrees that they need to find a way to smooth things over with everyone. On a more somber note, Jake comes over to Kelsey’s house and tells her that his father passed away, so he needs to return home. He also breaks things off with her. :( One of those rare actually intense moments in this show.

Blending business and pleasure never works, so when Alex shows up at Blend’s sign hanging, Juliette looks less than amused. Instead of gearing up for the opening party that night, Alex whisks Juliette away from her boss and coworker to have a chat with her. The chat goes absolutely nowhere – they’re literally talking in circles, saying the same things we’ve heard for three seasons. Juliette tells Alex she’s going to pretend like he doesn’t exist, and Alex responds with a menacing smile and says, “see you later.” I’m scared.

It’s time for the official opening of Blend! While I’m still confused as to how they were able to pull it together in time when Juliette went to Greece instead of helping out, I’m so proud of Juliette, Juliette’s random friend Kelly, and Juliette’s bitchy boss Courtney. Great job, ladies! Everyone seems to be having a good time until Alex and Alyssa waltz in. The party crashers, making their debut as an official couple, make their way across the venue. But while Alyssa passes Boring Robby without a second glance, Alex, who has yet to see his “ex-friend who dated his ex-girlfriend,” stops in front of Boring Robby and flicks him on the face. If I’m Alyssa, I’m breaking up with Alex then and there. He might as well take the microphone and scream “I’M NOT OVER JULIETTE” into it. But of course, Alyssa turns the other way and pretends to barely notice it. Boring Robby is still visibly reeling from the flick. Even though he’s trying to pretend like it was funny, you can tell he’s taken aback. Alex approaches him AGAIN, slaps him on the ass, and threatens to “knock [his] fake-ass teeth out.” In true Boring Robby fashion, he simply walks away, refusing to engage and keeping things as boring as possible. Luckily, Boring Robby’s spunky friend Joe is there to keep the reality show on track and talk a lot of shit. He starts by flipping Alex off and saying that Alex “hides behind his money.” Alex responds by bringing up Robby’s penis size. Maybe we’ve gotten it wrong this whole time. Maybe Alex is really into Boring Robby, and is mad at Juliette for getting in the way. Eventually, Alex lunges at Joe and threatens to fight him. As a future lawyer, Alex should know better than to physically attack anyone in public, specifically someone who is a literal walking hate crime, but then again, Alex isn’t known for his intelligence.

The next day, Kelsey heads to Boring Robby’s to make sure her job is still secure in light of all of the chaos that has ensued. (Remember that he’s randomly her boss, lol.) He assures her that all is okay, and has no problem with “continuing to use and abuse her.” I don’t think he got that quote from his collection of bizarre inspirational sayings, but it still made me cringe just the same. When Kelsey brings up the fight, Robby describes it as “par for the course.” I cannot get enough of his expressions! They’re never-ending! Later, when Juliette checks on Boring Robby to make sure he’s okay after the fight, he also assures her that he’s okay, that the fight was “par for the course,” and that “some zebras never change their stripes.” I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Boring Robby is truly the Confucius of our generation.

In the wake of the big fight, Chloe, resident shit-stirrer, is more determined than ever to mend all of the strife in her friend group (that she primarily caused.) Summoning her inner Mother Teresa, Chloe sends out a text to her friends demanding they meet up to hash things out. The text ends with a sweet message – “YOU ARE REQUIRED TO BE THERE SO I DON’T WANT ANY FUCKING EXCUSES.” Chloe certainly knows the way to people’s hearts!

In the final scene of this lengthy, two-episode extravaganza, we see the OG crew plus Jared at a bonfire. It’s nice to see all of the original cast together. Madisson kicks off the meeting by explaining how important everyone is to her. She breaks down, detailing how badly she needs a support system since her family hasn’t been there for her and Ish is gone. Chloe quickly glazes over the heartfelt cry for help and changes the direction of the conversation towards Alex and Juliette. As she tries to get them to see eye to eye, a very wasted Juliette calls Alex a “piece of shit” while Alex laughs in her face and tells her to go “bob her head” in the corner. I hate myself for laughing, but Juliette definitely nods her head weirdly when drunk. They peel off and have an emotional conversation that everyone can hear, and it ends with Alex holding a sobbing Juliette, assuring her that he would jump in front of a bullet for her. I don’t know about you, but I probably wouldn’t be chill with my boyfriend doing that with (or for) his ex. Either way, at least they aren’t screaming at each other.

The episode ends with Brandon announcing a trip to Nashville. He’s going to record a song and wants to bring everyone along for a vacation. The two-part finale will take place in Nashville, and I cannot wait. In the words of Alex Kompothecras, future lawyer, “Sara-nara!” See y’all in Nashville next week!

[epitheterasedgen]

Redwood Run: Thoughts

I have a LOT of thoughts on Redwood Run as an arc. While it did make the show more interesting and expand upon the world of Epithet Erased, compared to the Museum arc, I strongly feel that there’s a clear discrepancy between the two. So, without further ado, here’s my personal list of the top pros and cons of Redwood Run! (Warning: LONG POST)

Things I LOVED about the Redwood Run arc:

How strong each character was in their personality and inner alignment. Percy is lawful good, and you can DEPEND on her to always follow through with that. She’ll follow her duty to the law until the end, even when it means putting away Ramsey at the end of the arc (someone she’s grown a friendship with). Likewise, Ramsey is a true neutral through and through: he’ll do whatever is best for HIS safety, HIS well-being, and he’ll switch to whatever side of the law will help him do that. Zora, I think, is lawful evil: even her motivation still seems to imply that she wants to be a villain and do villainous things… she just wants the playing field to be equal. And when she breaks her own rules, she shows remorse and calls the battle a draw, rather than going for an easy win. Even Howey Honeyglow is a lawful neutral, with his sole motivation and personality trait being WORK. He doesn’t care if you’re a villain or a cop, you’d better darn well DO YOUR JOB-- and just like the primary characters, it’s his steadfast dedication of staying true to himself that makes him likable.

The foreshadowing. Okay, some of it (like Percy’s explanation of eraser cuffs and Ramsey writing a note to himself) was pretty obvious, but Ramsey’s initial plan of “Zora can’t get me if I’m already locked up” is itself foreshadowing to what will happen to him at the end of the arc!

The worldbuilding. Even if there are quite a few plot holes in regards to how Eraser Cuffs™ work (wouldn’t Mera have been confused if she forgot her own epithet? Why does Ramsey remember Percy’s, and in that case, can’t criminals just remind each other of their epithets? Why does Percy know that building two or three towers will knock her out, when supposedly she doesn’t remember anything about her powers?), I still love that we get to see more of the world these characters live in.

The peril. I thought it’d be hard to live up to the Museum Arc’s level of intensity without sacrificing originality, but the writing does a pretty good job of this, albeit by laying down some rules that may or may not make total sense in the context of the Museum Arc. (For instance, the fact that guns only deal minor impact damage-- this helps explain away a lot of the initial danger of the Bonzai Blasters, and also makes Zora a uniquely strong/scary character in that her guns can ACTUALLY kill people.)

The set-up of the rest of the story. While I thought Episode 4 had a much better conclusion than 7, I can’t deny that the end of 7 made me really want to see where the rest of the story goes... And that’s the main purpose of a season finale, isn’t it? Good job, Jello. I’m now literally taking on a freelance webpage design job so that I can afford VRV using your link.

Things I DIDN’T love about the Redwood Run arc:

The side villains. I have to admit, Bugsy and Arnold, as well as all their minions, kind of disappointed me. It’s just a personal preference, but none of their jokes hit quite like I think they were supposed to, and I found myself waiting for their bits to be over whenever they showed up onscreen. Unlike the Museum Arc, where I was deeply invested in every character presented (except the other kids and Molly’s dad, who you’re SUPPOSED to loathe), a lot of the side characters just fell flat. The bartender wasn’t really funny either (although the cat was), and the only tertiary character I really liked was Howey Honeyglow-- although he wasn’t perfect either, for the purposes of something I’ll talk about last.

The epithets. There’s something called “the promise of the premise,” which consists of the gimmicks that make a show unique before you get into the characters, plot, ect. Basically, it’s the fun, gimmicky hook that makes people want to watch the show in the first place. Sadly, it’s a common phenomenon that after the first season (or arc, in this case), shows quickly lose sight of their own premise under the weight of all the OTHER stuff they’re excited to show off. For Epithet Erased, the gimmick is (obviously) the existence of “epithets:” words tied to a person’s soul that give them powers. The thing is, while there are plenty of inscribed characters in the show, only one of them actually takes advantage of the promise of the premise: Molly. Why? Because what separates an ~inscribed~ from any other show’s superheroes is that their powers are derived from the word itself… giving opportunities for a set of powers based on a word with multiple meanings. Molly’s epithet is “dumb,” which can mean simple (hushabye), stupid (dumb hypnosis), or quiet (silence bubble). Unfortunately, no other characters take advantage of their epithets in this way, and since Molly isn’t in Redwood Run, the “promise of the premise” kind of dies out, making epithets no different than Marvel superpowers or Quirks from Boku No Hero Academia.

The swearing. I know a lot of people will roll their eyes at me for this, but hear me out. The reason that swearing is effective in episode 4 of the Museum Arc was because you aren’t expecting it. The show is almost entirely clean up until that point, so when Mera swears, you’re startled, and it effectively emphasizes her pain. (The only weak swearing before this, if you even count it, is when Giovanni lectures Molly in episode 2-- also a very emotional moment.) Likewise, when Percy steps up with her REAL-***, ******* SWORD, it’s hysterical, because you’re so used to the vibe of a children’s cartoon that it completely throws you to hear a “real” weapon being spoken about in a “real” manner. (Plus there’s the added bonus that it’s Percy, which becomes funnier the more you get to know her.) That’s, like, level 99 humor right there. But then Redwood Run comes along, and… it’s not SUPER often, but characters swear in non-funny, and non-emotional scenes all the time, and you get pretty numb. I think the same effect of the Museum Arc is intended when Zora harshly swears (and is either cut off or censored) during the final battle, but it didn’t work on me. By then I’d heard so much casual swearing, I fully expected it. (And I usually like the gag where it cuts from a character just before they swear, but again, it’s not funny when you see it coming.) Not to mention the fact that I got my little cousin into the show after watching the Museum Arc and dubbing it safe for her age range (she’s a mature kid, been through a lot, reminds me of Molly), but then felt really awkward when we started watching Redwood Run and the swearing was just… there. For no reason. (I know a lot of people don’t care about this, but for the record, she didn’t like it either. Personality-wise, I relate a lot to Percy and my cousin takes after me, so it just made the whole show less enjoyable for us overall.)

All in all, Redwood Run is still an objectively good (and enjoyable!) arc, with the solid writing, characters, and dialogue outweighing the negatives. But I’m picky about what I invest my time into, and if I’d seen Redwood Run before the museum arc… well, let’s just say I wouldn’t have stuck around long enough to be signing up for VRV.