#i love it sometimes you need a musical that is pure schlock

[bloodengutz]

getting more people to watch reefer madness the movie musical with me TEEHEE

[ricky-rampage]

Favorite Movies 2016

Ah, 2016. Honestly, the less said about it, the better. But I’m a sucker for making lists and I think I’ll always have a compulsivity to make my top ten movies list of the year until the day cinema ends (which will hopefully be never). This wasn’t a particularly great year for film; there was a lot of “okay,” plenty of “meh,” but not too much “holy effing shit where’s the bottom of my jaw?!” However, there thankfully were ten movies that tickled my fancy. They are:

10. MIDNIGHT SPECIAL--This one surprised me. It lacks a true heart, or the heart keeps bouncing around between different characters while never fully latching on, but I still found myself enthralled. The way little bits are revealed here and there always felt natural and smooth, never forced. Jeff Nichols is skilled in nuance, which has been hit or miss for me with his past work. This is the first time I really got what he was going for. Now he just needs to inject some heart into his stories and he’ll be a master (I’m hoping Loving accomplishes this).

9. THE NICE GUYS--While it’s no Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, it’s still a worthy entry into the buddy cop mystery movie. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling’s chemistry sparkles. The dialogue is original and hilarious. There’s a star turn from young Angourie Rice. It kind of devolves into standard shootout flare by the end, but the journey up to that point was pure entertainment.

8. MANCHESTER BY THE SEA--Though I wish I was more emotionally affected by this film, it’s still a very well done and well acted take on grief. It’s one of those movies where not a lot really happens, but everything happens. Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams and Lucas Hedges are all amazing, and the dialogue is some of the most realistically funny writing I’ve seen uttered on screen in a long time.

7. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR--I think this is the most thematically resonant entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, especially in this sudden era of fake news. We believe the story with which we’re being presented, even when we don’t have all the facts. It’s about perspective. When it comes to clashing perspectives, communication is key; having a dialogue about issues insures a healthy debate and hopefully a satisfying compromise. When it’s superheroes having the debate, though, dialogue is tough and everyone ends up brawling at an airport hangar. Don’t forget this is popcorn fodder, but it was my favorite popcorn fodder of the year.

6. KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS--a visually astounding work of art. Watching this film just gave me a sense of joy that other animated films didn’t give me this year (I’m looking at you, Finding Dory, you and your pointlessness). This is a tale about a storyteller who finds himself in one of his own stories, becoming the hero he never knew he was born to be. A lot of it is silly, but most of it is fun, and all of it is beautiful.

5. THE WITCH--Funny story, I went to go see this a week or two after it came out with my friend, Sean, but we only stayed in the theater for about thirty minutes because of the worst film audience I’d ever experienced. Someone behind us was translating the whole film to his friend from English to Spanish, a mentally disabled man in front of us kept laughing at inappropriate times and shaking his head violently back and forth, and overall, your run-of-the-mill talking and cell phone usage from everyone else. Months later, I watched the movie on Amazon, and it was great. The end.

4. ARRIVAL--The thinking person’s alien invasion movie. This doesn’t have to rely on special effects or big action. This is a story about understanding one another that just happens to have aliens and special effects in it. Amy Adams gives an understated performance as a linguist caught in the middle of a mystery that almost everyone else sees as having a cut-and-dry solution. Jeremy Renner and Forrest Whitaker are just kind of there, but who cares? This is Adams’ story. A story of her character understanding her past, present, future, and herself. And it has aliens.

3. MOONLIGHT--So rarely does a movie come along that feels so un-Hollywood. Something that just comes off as HUMAN and never becomes melodramatic or dull. Moonlight pulls it off in strides. The story of a boy, then an adolescent, and then a man, and what it means to be all of them, sometimes all at once (I guess that only really applies for the last one, but it’s still there). Chrion is a character caught in the middle of too many worlds and I felt his uncertainty as he does his best to explore who he really is. Never exploitative, always real, Moonlight is kind of amazing.

2. LA LA LAND--This movie should not have been as remarkable as it is. It’s a fairly standard story, it’s a cheesy musical, and it’s not based on any preexisting material, which in this day and age, we know is a big no-no *barfs and dies*. But somehow, everything in this movie is near perfection. The songs: catchy and wondrous. The direction: Damien Chazelle, you are a god among insects. The performances: nothing flashy from Emma Stone or Ryan Gosling here, but I believed everything they did, including breaking into song and dance. All at once, La La Land is a tribute to classic cinema, a glimpse into where cinema is heading, and a time-honored tale of pursuing your dreams and the sacrifices that come along with that pursuit.

1. A MONSTER CALLS--This happens every year: my two favorite movies come down to what affects me emotionally and what wows me with its sheer filmmaking prowess. And like every year, the emotional film takes the cake. A Monster Calls caused me to suppress literal howls in a crowded theater, and I know I’m not the only one who experienced such a sensation. Ugly, ugly tears, and I’m grateful for every single one. Even if you haven’t experienced the tragic loss of a loved one, A Monster Calls is incredibly effective thanks to its beautiful performances from Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver and young stand-out Lewis MacDougall. It hooked me, reeled me in, and continues to squeeze me tightly in a comforting embrace (you know, like you usually do with fish). That’s why it’s my favorite film of the year.

Movies I didn’t manage to see in time: Silence, Sing Street, Hell or High Water, 20th Century Women, The Founder, Hunt For the Wilderpeople.

Favorite performances of the year: Hailee Steinfeld in The Edge of Seventeen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Nocturnal Animals, Lucas Hedges in Manchester By the Sea, Emma Stone in La La Land, Dan Fogler in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Special Jury Prize: Paint It Black. I’m not sure when this will get an official release, but I saw it at the Mill Valley Film Festival and it’s a disturbing treat.

Now for five movies that kind of stunk. Well, more than kind of. A few of them burned my sinuses away.

-1. X-MEN: APOCALYPSE--Out of the near two and a half hour runtime, I’d say there’s barely ninety minutes of actual story here. The rest is plodding, (not very good) effects-driven schlock and fan service. It lacks purpose; it’s just sort of there.

-2. THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN--Hitchcock you are not. Even Gone Girl you are not. Shit, you’re barely Hollywood Homicide (how’s that for a reference?).

-3. BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE--Can anyone tell me what this movie was about besides franchise building? No? Moving on then.

-4. SUICIDE SQUAD--Is this film the perfect example of A) studios interfering with a director’s vision, B) a film believing it can get by on massive hype while remaining limp and unnecessary, or C) just pure dumbness? I’ll go with D) all of the above.

-5. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE--I’ll quote from my review from last summer because I don’t want to waste any more brain power coming up with new ways to shit on this piece of shit: “...a slapdash string of CGI vomit, shoehorned references to the first film for nostalgia’s sake, and not a lick of emotional depth whatsoever.” So. Fucking. Worthless.

Please be good, 2017. Pretty please. All the cherries on top.