#i love my dumb chocobo

[staringupward]

So I’m finally getting around to playing the FF7 remake. I’ve played the original, and it’s always going to have a special place in my heart as the first game that really spurred me on into gaming. So here are my thoughts so far.

The story beats are well paced, I think. The city of Midgar and its various slums are really well fleshed out. I really appreciate just how cartoonishly evil Heidigger and Pres. Shinra are. Classic warmongers and corporate greedflationists. They really do not give a damn about anyone beneath them and it shows. I’m excited about the additional story beats and the mysterious spectres showing up as drivers of the plot, and adding that little bit of “wtf is going on here” to the background.

The main characters, and even side characters, are nicely fleshed out, too. Being able to listen to their voices, reading their faces and body language, and the much increased dialogue paints a much better and clearer picture of what’s going on with these people. And that nobody is that dumb. (Except Johnny. This Guy. OMG.) Cloud’s PTSD/Mako induced hallucinations and flashbacks are well done. He looks like he’s dealing with it in a healthy manner, except that he’s keeping it to himself. Tifa’s uncertainty and strong morality based on what’s happened to her. Barret has a hard exterior, but deep down he does care. Jesse recognizes that the explosion should not have been that big. She logically blames herself for this because she didn’t intend so large a blast radius.

It’s hitting my nostalgia for the original just right, and it’s got enough new things to keep it fresh. I’m liking this.

TURKS!!!! Reno is a shit and I love him and his stupid man cleavage. Rude and his ever ready spare sunglasses. Reno having fun with gadgets. Rude just THROWING YOU AROUND LIKE A TOY. Like holy hell! What even was that?!

Okay, so now I’m into Wall Market, and I’m just past the Hellhouse. One: Chocobo Sam is neat, I hope he gets more attention later. Two: Madam M. WHAT DID YOU DO TO CLOUD’S HANDS. (Yes, I got the Deluxe.) YOU BROKE HIS BRAIN A LITTLE BIT. GIRL. Three: the colosseum fights. What. Is. The Hellhouse. Scotch and Kotch are A+ at amping up a crowd. That was a ride. I have one more question.

Why have we not seen all of Andrea Rhodea’s face yet? Am I about to be screaming? I’m probably about to be screaming.

Final Note: Scarlet. Girl. How did you decide that Business Professional and Cocktail Hour were both valid for a working woman? I mean, you rock it, but I still gotta question your taste.

[bisquicklite]

Is their any moment that happens between them that you know happens and just makes you melt? 

:3 Thank you for the ask! (My very first one! Just pretend I am throwing confetti at you in celebration!)

I have so many soft moments between my ship that make me melt and feel a bit dumb! But since I've only started documenting my catgirl (Osha) and the knight she loves (Haurchefant), I'll start with one of the earliest moments.

Before these two had properly gotten together they were pretty solid penpals. It started pretty innocently with Osha wanting to keep someone in Ishgard with some kind of authority informed about the neighboring primal problem- and if that someone just happens to be the very handsome and lovely knight she spent several days flirting with, well, what do you expect? She's only mortal, and she thinks Lord Haurchefant is, just, so lovely. But that is how it starts, with these two dutiful idiots sending letters of the latest goings on, always with well wishes and prayers for the other's safety and signed off with affectionate goodbyes.

The first significantly sweet moment between these two happens near the end of ARR; Garuda is defeated, the remaining Scions are (mostly) reunited, and it looks like Eorzea is going to be sending her to war. Osha is more than willing to fight, but she is not without concerns. This time last year she was still racing chocobos! Now they want her to go off and spearhead the fight against the invading imperial forces? She’s their best bet? Really?

And Osha expresses these concerns in one of her letters to Haurchefant, backtracking at the end of the letter by saying ‘Please ignore my self-pitying rambling. The recent days have been long and I find myself longing for times when I was less burdened. Oh, geeze, that sounds even worse. If anyone asks, please pretend that my letters are full of something a bit more heroic.’

The next letter she receives from Haurchefant is accompanied by a gift. Along with a letter full of reassurances he sends her a blade, something short and easily kept on hand (and very nice, Osha thinks, of fine quality and made of good, solid Ishgardian steel.) He tells her that if he wasn’t bound by his own duty he would happily go to battle at her side. But as he’s not free to be her shield in the coming battle, he asks her to take this blade in his stead. That even if it does not spill blood for her, it may still serve as a good luck charm full of his hopes and prayers that she will be victorious in the coming days.

And Osha, who is a practical woman who likes to believe herself a romantic, thinks that this is the sweetest thing ever. She has, for over a decade, thought of herself as cursed. And so she has always been especially fond of good luck charms. It is the moment she starts to think of Haurchefant as someone more significant than a flirtation, for what they’ve had had always been light and fun and simple and not super deep. But a gift like this, with such thoughtfulness behind it, speaks to something more. 

So Osha gets a very lovely knife (it's got flowers engraved along the blade! It's so pretty!) and is, just, super smitten.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Really dumb idea for a scenario, Agni packing for the dawn trail adventure and Toddler Esme packing " essentials" aka all her stuff toys and Raymond the corgi much to Estinien's dismay

"Let's see...clothes and essentials for me and my grumpy dragon in here..." Agnes said, her brow furrowed as she stared into comically large suitcase. Plenty of fresh smalls. Can never have too many of those!

"'ummy! 'ummy!!!!" Esme squealed behind her. When Agnes saw her daughter, she barely held in a laugh. Esme had all her favorite stuffed arms gathered in her little arms and as usual Raymond the corgi minion alongside her. Esme wobbled a little as she reached a smaller leather suitcase with a sunflower decoration in the middle and then dropped her toys in it. "'ummy, wook!" She pointed at her toys with a cute little toothy grin oh my baby girl is so adorable.

Shaking her head, Esme's mother sighed. "Oh my sweet baby, we can't take everyone with us. We'll choose one friend to bring, okay?"

"Why?"

Oh dear, her new favorite word. I blame her father. Not me, of course. Nope, absolutely not me. "Because there's only so much room in your suitcase, Es."

"Why?"

Agnes raised an eyebrow. "Because that's just how big the suitcase is."

"Why?"

I fully blame Estinien for this. "Because that's the size we bought for you."

"Why?"

Her arms crossed over her ample chest. More ample since having three children! "Because you're a little girl, and you need a little suitcase for our trip."

"Why?"

As Agnes was about to answer, she was interrupted by a chuckling Estinien in the doorway. "Because." He said in a mock serious voice, his pale blue eyes meeting Esme's brown ones.

She considered the situation for a moment and tossed out all the toys except a stuffed chocobo that Aymeric had given her when she was born. The way he dotes on her makes my heart melt. "Bobo go!"

"Aye, Bobo will come with us. Now, let's gather the others and let Mummy finish packing. We leave the day after tomorrow, Es." He and Esme picked up the other toys, and she dutifully followed her father back to her and the boys' room. Are we already starting to outgrow our lovely apartment? Yup.

She giggled as she turned her attention back to the large suitcase. "This is going to be a fun trip..."

[exuberantoddity]

I felt like sharing some Camila Facts, so here we go (I'm mostly using the FF14 version since she has more lore) -She's bi and polyamorous, but starts out her story with no clue about this. That's just what happens when you're raised as a disposable soldier, I guess.

-She loves caring for and training animals both as pets and working animals. As a result of her training, her chocobo Cincinnatus is known for his ferociously loyal demeanor. She can't get him to stop learning to swear, though.

-Her first love interest is a minor NPC I latched onto.

-look at him he is the sweetest boy. the only brass blade too dumb to be corrupted and too tough to get killed for it. she loves her tiny boyfriend so much.

-is she cooking for you on the road? i sure hope you like puls with lots of garlic, because early on that's all she can make! she does end up learning a lot more later, but still uses a lot of garlic.

-oh my god she is so awkward. comes off as having a very flat affect in a lot of ways, not really showing her feelings externally unless you know her usual behavior well.

-basically she's probably autistic before they actually knew what it was

[millipedish]

Yo I was tagged by @soft-serve-soymilk to do a thing! I'ma tag a few folks but no pressure to do it: @gallyg @abelunwilling @giacofmanytrades

Hey I'm Knell, a grown up who seems to be treading a lot of old ground lately. I was active on tumbr from like 2013-2017 when I went by they, and now I'm a boy and finding tumblr to my tastes again. I'm a fan ficcer, theorizer, and art appreciator. Maybe someday I'll get back to posting my oc art on this website.

Current Book I'm Reading: Eh, I'm not. I really should be bc it puts me in a tranquil brain space. Piranesi and The Electric State are both kind of competing to be my next read.

Last song I listened to: The Chocobo Mystery Dungeon Theme lol

Currently Watching: Crime Scene Kitchen. It's so dumb and I love it.

Next on my Watchlist: Oh gosh, Idk. Wake me up when Fraggle Rock comes back, or Scavengers Reign.

Current Obsession: Kind of between them. Scavengers Reign, but that just got over and lately I've been diving into ENA theory vids. Wild that both of the stories take places in worlds that make internal sense, but seem random and brutal to those looking in. I really love those kind of settings in specfic.

Hey thanks for tagging me! I like doing these every once in a while.

[tsuki-sennin]

Spreading sky! Hero gals! Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure! This is a... very exciting prospect, of course. Not only is it the 20th series and very close to the franchise's 20th anniversary, but we're jostling a lot of franchise traditions! Blue non-human leader, a full-time male Cure, an (entirely unambiguous) adult!

New town, new me. That also means a new tag!

"Hop! Step! Jump! Hero Gals Dream of the Everlasting Sky!"

Y'know, filter that out if you wanna.

Man, imagine liveblogging a PreCure series on time lmao

Spoilers, I guess...

-The sky!

-Skyloft?

-Oh wow, even got giant birds.

-There's Sora-chan. I'll give you a dumb nickname later,

-Skyland Castle!

-Wonder if we'll run into Spyro the Dragon?

-Maybe if we were on a Nintendo console we'd meet Bowser and Donkey Kong.

-Lotsa cute borbs on Skyland, huh?

-Subarashii~! Hapii Basudei~!

-Princess El. You are... a very interestingly designed baby, I'd say.

-How old are you, a year?

-Oh look it's Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's neat.

-Kabaton.

-Gonna bomb a fuckin' baby! Okay!

-"Speed up."

-Don't pay that bird enough for this, Sora-chan.

-It's Hero time!

-Oh shit.

-I enjoyed DePaPre's OP an awful lot, but this

-This is a banger right out the gate.

-Gives me very high hopes for the rest of the soundtrack.

-Oh shit, Futari wa callback.

-Ah, even got a notebook opening for the title card, that's cute.

-P i g

-The 7th Chocobo Cavalry has come rushing in.

-Kabaton-ton?

-Very nimble for a big fella, huh?

-In comes Sora-san.

-Hot damn, this girl's must've done mocap for Mirror's Edge.

-Ain't no stopping this dude.

-Ready... Go!

-"I am the girl from the sky! Of the clear sky clan!"

-

-REALLY now, Toei?

-I ain't even gonna dignify that with a response, I'm just gonna move on with my life.

-Dropped the baby.

-Going into strange holes is generally not advised until you're far older, Sora.

-Hydrogen baby.

-Very cute hydrogen baby, might I say.

-Where we at?

-Drop TWO babies at once!

-Pretty Holic~! They sell stationery too~!

-Hurtling at the terminal velocity of... 2 miles an hour.

-That's a car, those're rolling death machines.

-That's Pretty Holic lipstick, that's what we call a "uniting thread".

-"WHY ARE THESE BIRDS SO TINY?!"

-Mashiro-chan, gotcha.

-Sorashido~!

-"My notebook~!"

-Ahhhh, Skyland script.

-Oh god, he's back.

-Underground!

-Ranborg!

-C

-CureTube.

-Curesta. CureTube.

-Gonna write up my fanfic ideas on my CurePad in Pretty Docs, then maybe post 'em up on Cureblr.

-Using the Octagon-washing-machine to dry Octagon-coats on Octagon-hangers.

-"Mashiro-san! Protect Hydrogen Baby with your life."

-"Noooooo pleeease!"

-Smoked out.

-Hot damn, these're some nice angles.

-"Gimme that baby, extra!"

-A fated duel!

-Oh, he went and done it now.

-Tore up her dreams right in front of her.

-Precuuuuuure!

-It's Hero Time!

-Sky mirage! Tone connect!

-Hirogaru Change! Sky!

-Hop! Step! Jump! Clearly she takes inspiration from Ichika Usami.

-Love the side cape.

-Blue sky soaring to infinity! Cure Sky!

-Sora Harewataru... that is, Cure Sky is our hero for this year. She fights for truth, justice, and a better tomorrow!

-She's not quite flying yet. But she is falling with style.

-That's some impact!

-Hirogaru Sky Punch!

-Dig in peace once more.

-You're safe now, citizen!

-Oh, ED time.

-Don't worry Mashiro-chan, you'll get to be Cure Prism in, say... an episode or two? You're voiced by Rabirin, so your odds are pretty good. There's the lad, Cure Wing, voiced by Don Murasame. And Butterfly-oneesan, I haven't actually heard of Ayaka Nanase till yesterday.

-I love the colored pencil aesthetic, I feel seen.

-Very nice ED, very cute.

-Gotta keep the kid safe.

-I've actually been considering a few of options for my unique liveblog tag.

-"I would fly into the sun if that would keep our dream alive" is fitting, but is a bit... loaded a reference for me to make as a RWBY fan.

-I've considered using the lyrics of the Jetman theme or even some old Superman standards, but I thought those'd be a little obvious.

-My Hero Academia and One Punch Man references were considered, of course, but were discarded.

-I reckon what I chose gets the point across well enough, yeah?

-Kinda newspaper headline-y too, as a bonus.

-Well, you know where to find me for next time! See you on the flip side, citizens!

[stasisarbiter]

Volume 4 of Maerwyn's adventures

- This molemeat merchant AGAIN! Why can't we just ice him? - Mutamix Bubblypots is an amazing name - I wonder what he looks like under the mask - I love the way he speaks, but it's kind of hard to follow - Oh shit things have durability? Only just realized, hmm I wonder how much it costs to repair things, should I repair as I go? or wait til somethings almost broken? - These TP envelopes to the HQ are really helpful since there isn't a nearby aetheryte - Triple crossed! Wait, no, quadruple crossed?! - The Amalj'aa look rad, too bad they aren't a playable race - I think we're fighting Ifrit? Holy shit he looks rad - I belong to someone else? Crystal lady? Or I'm godless apparently? - So it puts me with NPCs, but canonically I fought Ifrit solo? Wild - Does Thancred literally ever arrive on time? - Mister #1 Punchable Face appears again - God, everytime I see Minfilia I just want her to put on a real shirt - Oof, executing tempereds - Wonder who Louisoix is, if he was around for the Bahamut calamity, he's probably one of the people in the opening cinematic? - There's a broken staff behind Minfilia, given it's prominence it probably belonged to Louisoix, so it probably is him in the cinematic (and the meme) - Lol Tataru's/Lalafell panic emote is hilarious - That... is not what I expected Alphinaud(?) to sound like. (Only know his name cause of Xenopostings) - WAIT SAM RIEGEL?! I don't think I'll ever be able to take Alphinaud seriously now - Will never get over how cute Nanamo looks riding his arm - What do you mean at a glance? We were in the same cart. - I know they're twins but man they look identical - Gonna be spending 1500~ Gil to TP around to the various speeches but it's not as if I'm spending it on anything else atm anyway. - Oof, the twins be hella snarky, not a good first impression on me (as a personality, not as characters) - Of the two speeches I've heard so far, I prefer the Immortal Flames over the Twin Adders, let's see what Miss Unpronounceable name and the Maelstrom have got - Limsa Lominsa is such a dumb name to say - Perhaps it's my bias for naval references and themes, or that the Admiral is pretty but I like the Maelstrom a lot - Post scene in the Quicksand, I like Alisaie much more than Alphinaud but we'll see as the story develops! - LOL they're named Biggs and Wedge? - What do you mean I have to collect badges to get a chocobo?

CHOCOBO ACQUIRED!

[lawrencesexton]

WRUP: Giant Robots For The Win Edition

I knew before going to watch Pacific Rim that I was going to be a fan on some level. I love giant robots and kaiju-themed films and it was expected to be fun and dumb. As it turned out, it was excellent fun and without the dread. It's not a serious film, but it's a film that is full of love letters to the genres it influenced. There are homages, but there's no need to delve into the past.

You can leave out 3D, because it didn't utilize it to its fullest effect and if you're slightly interested in the film do yourself a favor and watch it. It's worth every penny you spend, and much more than that.

I could be poetic about the film here I could wax poetic about the film here, but WRUP is about the film we're watching, not about the films we're obsessing about. If you go to the end of the break, you'll find precisely the opposite. Please share with us what you'll be doing this weekend in the comments.

@Beau_Hindman - I'm an avid shooter, more so than ever before. Therefore, I'll be spending time in PlanetSide 2, Defiance, and, most recently, Firefall which looks absolutely amazing. My wife is sporting a new gaming laptop which allows us to destroy things together. It's hard. I'll also be taking on RuneScape's Bacon Quest. It looks incredible however the bacon jerky they sent was a disaster.

@nbrianna: I'm not sure where I'll be this weekend. Ultima Online will soon expire as well as my EVE Online Freebie has expired and Guild Wars 2 has, according to some reports, devolved into a series involving jumping puzzles that don't have an exit. I'm sure I'm mad when World of Warcraft has started appearing attractive again. Save me Steam summer sale!

@PsykopigAU: Guild Wars 2 is definitely on the agenda for me this weekend, however I've been thinking about going for a quick trip to Star Wars: The Old Republic because of the closing of the servers on the ocean. It brought back memories of the wonderful times I spent playing PVP on servers with low-ping and also made me realize how much I miss the game. EXTREMEMINING

@Eliot_Lefebvre: This is the final weekend of closed testing in Final Fantasy XIV, so I'll be taking charge of this. I've got a lot to do in Star Wars: The Old Republic before the next patch is released and, on top of that, I've got a 3DS to play on. Theatrhythm Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem Awakening and Theatrhythm Final Fantasy are far better than any mobile game that has any right to be.

@irljasmine: Right now my gaming world revolves around exploring Eorzea with my little archer. I am enjoying Final Fantasy XIV's A Realm Reborn beta quite frequently, so I'll be taking in every bit of beta goodness I can. When it's time to get away from moogles and chocobos, I'll be trying to figure how my town was built on top so many fossils in Animal Crossing. It's kind of a hazard.

@jefreahard I'll be playing NCAA Football 14. I am one of those guys, but look at it this way. Georgia Tech will never win another national championship if it's not on someone else's console. Oh, and GT Legends is an old racing simulator that I found on Steam. Best $2.49 I've ever spent.

@MJ_Guthrie: I'm planning on getting the final of the guardian pets at The Secret World's anniversary event and I'll stay until I get them! I'm just going to have to take them all! I'm really only going to need two more (which unfortunately equates to many, many golem bosses). If I'm lucky, I might even be able to get into Fusang for my last one. If I can finish my set before the weekend ends I'll be weaving some songs using my Songweaver Aion. And then , most likely, return to TSW to play with more golems.

@RichieProcopio - This weekend, I'll be playing Guild Wars 2. This new-fangled achievement reward system has really tinkered with my OCD tendencies. I now view the game as one long achievement meter that needs to be filled to capacity. At the finish line, a hellfire helmet waits for my Norn to wear it and bask in its warmth. The situation has just gotten more awkward.

@Epykbeard I'll be playing lots of Wurm Online and some PlanetSide 2 to mix it all up. Spartacus Legends is a favorite of mine on the Xbox, and I plan to play it for the rest of my life. Of course, the Steam sale in the summer will affect all these plans, and I'll end up playing something brand new that everyone else beat three months ago, like BioShock Infinite.

[sand-seeks-sun]

“My first fledgling... I still remember when Sugar-Beak was a pin-feathered little lump of squeaks and squawks, extending her little neck for offered gysahl puree. Though she may be a few ilms taller than those days, I still find my cheeks so tight with loving smiles when I look at her.”

((February Screenshot-a-day!)) 09. Chocobo

[papersong]

the black chocobo

Pairing: Haurchefant x WoL

Summary: Veterinarian!WoL is done with rich, high-born Isghardian playboys leaving their unwanted mounts at the shelter, when along comes Haurchefant with the black chocobo...

Prompt by Fireburd: Animal shelter au with WOL and Haurchefant

..........

Chocobos are expensive birds. So, there's only one type of person who abandons them at your shelter in the Pillars. Rich playboys from the high-born districts can afford to blow their allowance on a beautiful mount with no thought to the back-breaking work of caring for their impulse purchase. When their parents' won't provide staff and stables, the task goes to you.

This black chocobo doesn't look neglected, yet. Her feathers are clean, like she gets regular grooming and dust baths. Still, you approach the bird cautiously, hyperaware of its size. You hold out your hand and let the bird sniff it. She bends down, letting you pet her head.

Well, would you look at that? Beautiful, well-groomed, and well socialized. The breeder did a grand job with this one.

"Good girl," you coo at the black chocobo. "Did your owner leave you here? Don't worry, he's a bastard. You're safe with us, dear..."

The chocobo understands your gentle tone instead of your words. She kewhs happily, rubbing her head against your hand as you continue your rambling rant, calling her neglectful owner the worst possible names in the sweetest possible tone. You soon misplace your anger somewhere between the search for the next insult and the bliss of soft down feathers on her head. Mmm, fluffy~

Behind you, someone clears his throat, interrupting your sing-song stream of curse words. You turn, and who else could it be, but the bastard in question? The man wears one of those dumb matching coats of the Ishgardian nobility, with a red unicorn pin to contrast his silver blue hair, and an expression of contrition that you don't believe for a second.

"We're not accepting chocobos. Unless you're offering a truly atrocious amount of money, like, enough to build a new stable..."

"You'll have it," the noble declares. He unlatches a necklace, pulls it out from under his shirt, and places it in your hands as his guarantee of payment.

You turn the locket over. The pendant is silver like his hair and still warm from his skin. It doesn't look very valuable, but the engravings on the metal have been worn smooth, as if he's kept the necklace close to his heart for a long time. A sentimental object, then.

You meet the man's gaze with a question in your eyes. He lets you open the locket to a miniature portrait of a woman who looks like him, with the same silver blue hair. 

"Please," he insists, catching the black chocobo in a hug. "I'm being reassigned to a post outside the city. My step-mother will kill her."

"Mr. Fortemps--"

"Greystone. Haurchefant Greystone," he corrects you, his smile pained. That expression makes you peer at him more closely. You take in the nobleman's coat thrown haphazardly over his undershirt and worn pants, like the man had stumbled out of bed at the crack of dawn to find you after a threat to his bird's life.

You reconcile the fact of his murderous stepmother with his name, Greystone, and you think you understand. 

“I’m sorry I called you a bastard.”

“But I am a bastard,” he shrugs with a wry smile. 

Your hand stills against the black chocobo's head as you consider your options. If it's just for the short term, until he can arrange alternative lodgings, one of your friends runs a stable. She'd love the coloring of this bird, but you already owe her several favors...

You consider Haurchefant and his bird. Elezen and chocobo regard you with identical puppy dog eyes. You sigh.

"Mr. Greystone--"

"Haurchefant."

"Fine, Haurchefant. Let me text a friend."

Your attention's on your tomephone, so you don't notice Haurchefant's gaze stray to how bite your lip. Behind you, the black chocobo takes in her owner's drifting attention with a surprisingly shrewd expression for a chocobo. As you rock on the heels of your feet, waiting for your friend's response, the chocobo takes advantage of your inattention. She moves fast, her head whipping down until her beak presses into your back. She pushes you.

"Hey!"

Chocobos aren't scholars. You're pretty sure the smartest bird in the world can't read, much less master the nuances of momentum and dynamics. However, diving through the skies has given them practical knowledge that would be envy of any Studium academic. The angle and force applied by Haurchefant's black chocobo makes you fall in perfect trajectory to land on Haurchefant and take him down with you, so your legs straddle his waist and your arms are pressed to his undershirt, braced against the muscles of his chest. 

For a moment, you stare at each other. You feel the quickening of his heart beneath your fingertips. He notices the strength of your thighs around his hips. 

"Kweh!" The black chocobo chirps, her tone triumphant. 

Also on AO3

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

This is super dumb sorry, Imagine little toddler Esme feeling a bit neglected because Bapa has work and Mama has to deal with the twins, in her child mind she decides to " run away" which just means going to Varshan in the megaduta. When her parents come to get her, Esme just hides underneath the cusions stll Angy

(I am so sorry this is late! IRL has been kicking my butt.)

"Esme, what are you doing?" Varshahn asked the pouting child who had only her stuffed chocobo with her. "Where are your parents and grandmother? You shouldn't be at Megadhuta by yourself, young one."

Esme's face contorted into what her mother called "My Baby's Thinking Face."

"Mummy and Bapa don't love me anymore." Esme said sadly as her Granny was preparing lunch.

"That's silly, Esme. They love you so much! Your father is training with the Radiant Host, and Mummy is tending to Pip and Laure." Luci shook her head. "And Hami and Marc are napping. We all love you."

She sniffled. "I love them so much, but they don't love me back. I'll just go!"

"Then go." Luci said with a twinkle in her eye. "But everyone would be sad if you did."

No they won't. Without another word, Esme went into her room that she shared with Hami and Marc, grabbed her stuffed chocobo, and wandered out the front door of their increasingly cramped apartment.

"They don't love me anymore, Varshahn." Esme wimpered, tears in her eyes.

Before Varshahn could say another word, an armor-clad Estinien and Agnes and Luci pushing both sets of twins entered Megadhuta.

"ESME VARLINEAU, YOU HAD ME SCARED TO FUCKING DEATH!" Agnes cried, taking the little girl in her arms. "Come to Mummy next time and tell me how you're feeling, okay? Don't run away like that ever again." She pressed several kisses to her daughter's head. "I love you so much. I'll never not love you. You're my sweet little baby girl---how could I not love you?"

"B-but the boys--"

Estinien removed one of his gauntlets and toussled her dark red hair. "We love all of you. I promise that tomorrow we can have a special Esme day with just you, me, and Mummy. How does that sound, little one?"

YES! YES! Esme smiled and nodded. "I'm sorry, Mummy...Bapa...Granny said--"

"MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luci snorted. "You did the same thing, Agi, and just came right back inside."

"MUM, THAT WAS NADIA, NOT ME!!!!"

"Oh...shit, you're right. Well, all's well that ends well, eh?"

Bapa looks like he's going to eat Granny, but Granny might eat him first.

[promptisgiftexchange]

Here is the wrap-up of our third week of posting for the Promptis Gift Exchange. Individual works are in the thread below. The entire collection can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Promptis_Gift_Exchange_2022/works

Please be sure to give our creators some love on Ao3!

Weekly Wrap-up #3

Title: Day of the Dawn-(Art)

Gift For: GingerEl

Rated: Not Rated (mod note: I consider this piece to be good for General Audiences)

Summary: Many years after the dawn a seemingly chance encounter brings two souls together. Again.

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Promptis_Gift_Exchange_2022/works/38550111  

Title: Noctis and Prompto’s Certified Guide to Caring for Coeurl Kittens-(Fic)

Gift For: Marlingrl

Rated: Teen

Summary: Prince Noctis and his friends have been a little bit preoccupied, lately. Their home has been destroyed, their kingdom has fallen, and they're stuck on this road-trip from hell for the indefinite future. Might as well accidentally adopt a coeurl kitten while they're at it. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38609679/chapters/96517866  

Title: Sun & Moon- A warm winter’s night-(Fic)

Gift For: Tsu_Yume

Rated: Explicit (please mind the tags)

Summary: A soft thud as a final, dark figure steps with feline grace, out onto the platform. A face shadowed completely in silken black locks, until the breeze sweeps it aside and the deep blue, sleepy eyes of the Crown Prince of Lucis meet with his. Prompto’s breath catches, unnoticeably, and his veins run almost hot enough to melt the snow at his pristine white boots.

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Promptis_Gift_Exchange_2022/works/38625675  

Title: With Every Breath I Take-(Fic)

Gift For: moonwaif

Rated: Teen

Summary: “It’s been so long,” Prompto whispered, “I never gave up hope that you would return to me.” Noctis felt his heart break. He imagined Prompto waiting his whole life, wondering if every phone call was him, jumping every time the doorbell rang. Ever at his side. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38591367  

Title: Can You Be My Boyfriend-(Fic)

Gift For: ArticulateFiction

Rated: Teen

Summary: “No! It was an accident. I swear! Look, this might sound dumb, but I lied about having a boyfriend so that everyone would stop pestering me about dating. I happened to be walking by this place when I did, and I randomly chose a name. How was I supposed to know that a Prompto would actually be working here?” 

—

Noctis lies about having a boyfriend only for it to backfire. Or does it? 

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Promptis_Gift_Exchange_2022/works/38662749  

Title: Looking Out For You-(Fic)

Gift For: monoschromatic

Rated: General Audiences

Summary: Noctis isn't a morning person, but maybe he could do with waking up earlier if it means spending time with Prompto. As long as it doesn't involve getting kicked by a chocobo. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38679966

[blazehedgehog]

this mightve been asked before, but what do you think of jrpgs generally? any favorites?

The JRPG boom of the late 90's was prime territory for me. I've told this before, but I think my first JRPG was Final Fantasy 4 on the SNES. I think I borrowed a friend's copy at first, and liked it enough that I ended up getting it second-hand, later.

When I first heard somebody describe "hit points," I thought that meant points you could hit, like individual locations on the body that could be struck. So hearing a boss had 15,000 hit points made me think, "Wow, they must be really big." Y'know, like they had lots of surface area. To hit.

I think I played FF4, then Earthbound, then Chrono Trigger. I had a Game Genie, so rather than understand all of the stats and stuff, I would just input a code that would give the maximum amount of possible EXP, so I would jump straight to level 99 after the first battle.

The first JRPG I played and actually understood was Super Mario RPG. That was also one of the first games I ever bought with my own money.

I'd never finished FF4 originally, so as the buzz for FF7 began to ramp up and I found myself lacking a Playstation, I started the SNES version. I don't think I ever finished it then, either, because I ended up with a Playstation that Christmas, with Final Fantasy 7. FF7 practically became my life for over a year and a half. I did everything in that game, and most of it without a guide. All master materia, all summons, all ultimate gear, all limit breaks (even Aerith's!), leveled my party to 99, a full stable of gold chocobos, beat Emerald and Ruby weapons, and a maxed out in-game clock of 99 hours, 99 minutes, and 59 seconds. I also had several other files to explore alternate routes (dates at the gold saucer, etc.). I wrung out every droplet of fun that game had and then some. I even figured out a way to infinite-cast Knights of the Round, for free (it was a complex system of setting up a w-summon materia, counter-materia, and something else, but it trapped you in a loop of summoning them over and over and over and it only cost MP for the first summon).

Like a lot of people that started a minor JRPG obsession, but I didn't have a lot of money to really try out much. I watched friends play a little bit of Beyond the Beyond, Wild Arms, and Secret of Evermore. I heard kids at school rave about Legend of Dragoon (and I rolled my eyes at it, because I thought it looked dumb). I played demos for Grandstream Saga and Legend of Legaia. Heard enough about Xenogears and its infamous second disc to think I'd never, ever want to play it. Learned to hate how slow strategy RPGs were when I tried a friend's copy of Final Fantasy Tactics.

I was over-the-moon excited for Final Fantasy 8. I was obsessed with how cool the demo seemed. It was such a huge jump in fidelity over FF7! It was gonna be great!

Then I rented the full version of FF8 and it was... markedly less cool. The rad, action-packed demo sequence was changed to be less climactic. I fell off pretty hard, getting bored. (Many years later, a cousin would give me their copy of FF8, and I gave it an earnest second try -- came away not just bored, but legitimately frustrated by how dumb some of the writing was)

Still, I continued to bounce around various other JRPGs. Starting lots, but never finishing them. I was super excited for Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete, but hit a difficulty spike in the third or fourth dungeon and rage quit the game. I think I probably played close to half way through Grandia 2 before falling off the game and never going back to it (no real reason, just got distracted).

Then came Chrono Cross. Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy 8 delivered kind of a one-two punch that made me wonder if Squaresoft knew what they were doing. Cross was so obtuse plotted, so in love with itself, and so NOT what I wanted in a Chrono Trigger sequel that it actively upset me. I got stuck somewhere towards the end of the first disc and ended up reading a story synopsis. I don't remember much about it now, outside of the fact that I really did not like it.

FF8 and Chrono Cross seemed like Square-Enix was feeling themselves a little too much and started mucking with the traditional JRPG systems in ways that didn't make sense or feel good. Like how battles in Chrono Cross don't give you EXP, or the magic draw system in FF8. It felt like, after making so many JRPGs, Square was trying anything to differentiate new games, even if it meant breaking fundamental core concepts in bad ways.

And so it became: if an RPG reminded me too much of what I didn't like about FF8 or Chrono Cross, I stopped caring.

Which is a shame, because Square were genre leaders. Everyone followed them. And soon enough, it felt like "JRPG" stopped having any meaning. It became more about story trappings than systems or mechanics, and most of them are modern day, or science fiction, or alternate historical. Swords and sorcery JRPGs are almost dead, outside of Dragon Quest, and I have a sneaking suspicion the next Dragon Quest could change that, too. The term "JRPG" became more synonymous with "anime RPG."

Most of the JRPGs I am interested in these days are the classics I didn't get to play back in the day. That's not to say that's all I'm interested in; I'm currently about 12 hours in to Mother 3, and I have Switch copies of Tales of Vesperia and Final Fantasy 12 I've gotten for Christmas over the years, and I have added incentive to play Kingdom Hearts 2 (and 3, and...) now.

At this point, JRPGs I've played are mostly: Final Fantasy 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13-2, Lightning Returns, 15, Mystic Quest, Tactics, Tactics Advance, Chrono Trigger, Cross, Earthbound Zero, Earthbound, Mother 3, Grandia, Grandia 2, Legend of Legaia, Skies of Arcadia, Phantasy Star 4, Tales of Phantasia, Kingdom Hearts 1, Re:Coded, Sands of Destruction, Sonic Chronicles, Breath of Fire 1, 2, Super Mario RPG, Mario & Luigi Super Star Saga, Bowser's Inside Story, Dragon Quest 8, Pokemon Red, Blue, Yellow, Crystal, Ruby, Fire Red, Pearl...

JRPGs I've finished: Final Fantasy 1 (GBA), Final Fantasy 4 (DS), Final Fantasy 7 (PS1), Earthbound (SNES), Chrono Trigger (SNES, DS), Sonic Chronicles, Super Mario RPG, Super Star Saga, Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow.

A few of those are basically finished. I played KH1 and Re:Coded to their final dungeons, respectively. I got to the final boss in Bowser's Inside Story and FF6, but the final battles were so long that I got fatigued, made a mistake, and didn't feel like redoing them more than once. In Pokemon Crystal, Ruby and Pearl, I reached the Elite Four but didn't feel like grinding up enough levels to get over the hump.

Favorites are probably Final Fantasy 1, Final Fantasy 7, Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, and Super Mario RPG.

Final Fantasy 1 because it feels so different and so much closer to a traditional western RPG. You feel a little less lead by the nose by the story and are turned loose in a space that feels more mechanical, like you're exploring an open world.

Final Fantasy 7, because... well, see above.

Earthbound because I love the weird viewpoint of "Classic 1950's Americana as seen by a Japanese author." It's also very charming, nostalgic and heart-felt.

Chrono Trigger because it's the best JRPG designers of their era collaborating across company lines and basically making what I would consider to be the ideal, perfect JRPG. It's not the most complex, sprawling or thought provoking game in the world, but it's EXTREMELY good at being a digestible story that doesn't overstay its welcome.

And Super Mario RPG isn't necessarily a revolution, but it's got fun characters and a weird world and extremely nice music. Just a very charming, solid game (and story!) all the way through to the end.

I'm looking forward to getting around to seeing more of Breath of Fire 1 and 2, the Tales of games, that SNES Star Ocean game, Secret of Mana, maybe Robotrek, finishing Final Fantasy 9, playing more than just the demo of Grandia 1, etc.

[throneoflevin]

Things I like RP Partners to Know

I like to be called: Kets, Ketsu, Ketsuchi, Ketchup seems to be a go-to for a lot of people (that I do find humorous, so no worries there). Pretty much any variant within there is just fine with me.

One (or several) thing(s) you should know about me: 

1.) Yes, I do tend to type exactly like this. I don’t use a lot of emotes, emojis, “xD” faces, etc. Tone is pretty tough to read through text, and I’ve had people mention before that the way I type seems to come off as “disinterested” or “serious”. Unfortunately, I started working early in my life and sending emails was a pretty regular thing for me, so I tend to type as close to professionally as I can out of habit (and its sort of my way of extending a professional courtesy to people). I try to emphasize my emotions such as excitement and the like with my words, rather than smiley faces. Don’t read too much into the way I type but take the words I type at face value. 2.) I do not have an issue reaching out to start communications with people, but it doesn’t mean I always like to do it. Communication is important to me but I do feel like it is a two way street. I don’t ghost people, but if I feel like I’m always the one reaching out to establish communication when it comes to RP then I am less likely to continue to do so. I don’t bite, so don’t be afraid to talk to me. I do enjoy conversing OOC. If you need some easy go-to options: I like movies, music, and sports (baseball and football being the major two). I’m also a big, dumb, nerd. I like anime, video games, etc, so there are some more options. I also have a dog who I absolutely love named Luna, so pets are great too. If none of those work...psst...I also like RP. 

One (or several) thing(s) you should know about my character(s): 

Kets is my first foray into RP, and I’ve been playing him since the release of 2.0. He has come a long way since then with tons of changes in his direction I never could have predicted (believe it or not, he started out as a pretty decent guy). He’s a pretty dark person with a horrible outlook on people in general, deeming the majority “useless”, “worthless”, or “pathetic”. He is, however, always looking for people who break that mold and bring something to the table that interests him. Since he has established himself in the darker parts of the realm he spends most of his time now managing eyes and ears around the city-states. So, sufficient to say, he tends to be bored. Give him a reason to invest time in your character and he (and me as well) will be more than happy to figure out what makes them tick. That is, however, not always a good thing. He is very far from a good person and most of his decisions are based on what is beneficial to him. He isn’t afraid to throw someone under the bus (chocobo?) if they fail him or end up wasting his time. Murder, blackmail, etc, are firmly situated in his wheelhouse and things he has no problem using as tools to further himself. If he takes an interest in your character it can lead to opportunities for growth (in ways that are useful to him, but also that you, the writer, find fun and interesting for your own character) but at the risk of injury or worse (which of course, I’d never kill someone’s character or do any kind of long-term damage without prior discussion). His methods are less-than-conventional, but do tend to get results.

First language: English. I used to be able to speak some Spanish and Latin, but those haven’t been used in ages.

Age range: under 13 | 14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ (31 if you want to be specific) | 70+

Am I okay with NSFW?: yes | no | some nsfw

My favorite/most common thing to RP is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | plots | AUs are fine | violence | darker themes

OC Friendly?: yes | no | depends 

RP blog: does contain ooc posts | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc (incredibly rarely) |

Tagged by: @thefreelanceangel​

Tagging: I think everybody I know has already been tagged/done this one. 

[silver-wield]

A Promise to Come

Cloud put a hand to his eye and winced. Mayday sucker punched him on the sly and he was still pissed even though he got revenge. Assholes. He shoved his front door open and slammed it hard behind him.

“Cloud, is that you?”

Rolling his eyes at his mother—Who else is it gonna be?—Cloud replied, “Yeah.” He paused beside the mirror strung up by the door and grimaced at his reflection. They got it worse. He smirked recalling the look on Dan's face as he shoved him into the dirt. Always cares more about his clothes than anybody else. Jackass.

“...and then you just need to crimp the edges like this and done.”

“Huh?” Cloud turned and leaned to one side to see into the kitchen. “Ma, who you talking—?” He stopped as he spied a familiar back. Her long hair was tied into a ponytail, but he could already see strands falling free to frame her face. Tifa?

“So, I can do this with any filling?” She turned to look up at Cloud's mother. The smile on her face was brilliant and earnest. “Dad's gonna be so surprised when I cook his favourite for him! It'll be the best birthday present!” She bounced with cheer.

Cloud turned his head away as he felt his cheeks heating. He knew Tifa was getting cooking lessons from his mother, but he'd stayed away while she was in the house. He never knew what to say to her and felt like an idiot third wheel while she and his mom chatted away like best friends. It put a scowl on his face and he knew he shouldn't feel jealous, but he wanted her to notice him as much as she did his mother. Forget it. She's way out of my league. He tried to creep past them towards his room.

“Cloud, hi!”

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut like a child who thought if they couldn't see, then they couldn't be seen. “Hi,” he mumbled when it became clear that wasn't going to work. “'Scuse me.”

“Oh, Cloud, what happened to your face?!” Tifa came close and tilted her head to better see.

Cloud turned away. “Nothing,” he muttered, swallowing hard. She's so close. Stay cool.

“Have you been fighting again?”

Glancing at her from the corner of her eye, he saw her face wreathed with concern. It felt nice knowing Tifa cared. “Uhh...”

“Why do you have to fight all the time? It won't fix your problems, you know.” Tifa shook a finger at him, then held out her hand. “Come on, you need an ice pack or your face will swell up and explode!”

Cloud frowned. “That's not how—” He stopped and took in the teasing look on her face. “Seriously?” One side of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile.

“Ms Strife, do you have any ice?” Tifa looked over her shoulder at Cloud's mother.

As his eyes tracked that way, he saw the amused look his mother wore. What's so funny?

“Unfortunately, no. This old refridgerator doesn't have much in the way of an ice box.” She patted the appliance and shrugged. “Maybe there's some at yours? Do you think you have some spare?”

Tifa nodded. “Sure. I'll go get a load.” She turned back to Cloud and gestured for him to sit. “You stay right there. Don't move an inch. I'll be right back. Promise!”

“Tifa, wait—!” Too late. She'd let go of him and rushed towards the door. His shoulders sagged.

The second the front door closed, Cloud felt his mother's gaze on him. “Uh...”

“All right, out with it. The truth. Who started the fight this time?”

“Me,” he muttered, ducking his head. “But—!”

“No 'buts', Cloud. You can't start fights with every boy in town.” Cloud's mother moved around the kitchen, tidying up after Tifa's pie making lesson. “What was it about?”

Cloud looked away. “Nothing.”

“Nothing, huh? Are you sure?” She came and sat across the table from him. “You seem to have a lot of fights over 'nothing'.”

Cloud couldn't meet her eye. The truth was he'd heard Dan bragging about how Tifa's father approved of him. He'd wanted to punch his smug teeth in, so he did. That brought Wel and Mayday running because one couldn't fight without the other two. Three on one was unfair odds, but Cloud still beat them worse than they did him. “They always start when Tifa's not around,” he grumbled, slumping in his seat. I bet they're talking shit to her the second they see her.

“Maybe they're jealous,” his mother said, reaching across the table to place her hand over his. “They wish Tifa kept them out of trouble like she does you.” She sat back and chuckled. “Shame she isn't around more often.”

“She doesn't.” Cloud scowled. “Does she?” He avoided her whenever her friends were there, but there were times it was just the two of them. They'd talk for a bit. One time they went chasing after a chocobo that wandered through town. Mostly they'd just sit and not say much. Cloud didn't know what to say to her. She was pretty and smart and kind and way too good for the likes of him. If he didn't think she'd be upset he wouldn't hang around her at all. Her dad said if he couldn't look out for her then to stay away. He tried to follow his orders, but Tifa was just...Tifa. He couldn't stay away no matter how much those stern words rang in his ears. If he wasn't good enough for her now he'd become good enough. Then everyone—Tifa—would notice and even her father would accept him. He knew exactly how, too. SOLDIER. Everybody loved them, and the best of them was Sephiroth. A living legend. If Cloud could become half the man Sephiroth was he knew Tifa would finally notice him. He'd have the courage to admit his feelings. He just had to show her he was the best of the best.

“I'm back! Sorry it took so long, Dan, Wel and Mayday all wanted help, too.” Tifa came back in carrying a bulging handkerchief that was already dripping. “Here, for your eye.” She put it against Cloud's face and held her hand out to him.

“Huh?” He reached towards her and she grabbed hold, then wrapped his fingers around the knot holding the cloth closed.

“There you go. Just stay like that, okay?” She blew on her fingers and rubbed her hands together, then smiled at him and shook her head.

Why's she looking at me like that? “What?”

“Thank you, Tifa, you're an angel,” his mother said, giving Cloud a pointed look.

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” he mumbled, grateful the cloth his half his face so she couldn't see how his cheeks turned red again.

“No problem!”

She was looking again.

“What?”

Tifa sighed and said, “Do you have to fight? Can't you solve it without fighting?”

Cloud felt shame weigh on his shoulders. “It wasn't my fault,” he said, trying not to pout. He didn't know why he felt so awful whenever Tifa was disappointed in him. It hurt more than the times he ignored her.

“I don't care whose fault it is,” she replied. She tipped her head to the side to try and catch his eye. “There's gotta be better ways to handle it than fighting, right?”

“That's very true,” Cloud's mother said. A timer by the oven dinged and she looked up. “Who wants pie?”

“It's ready?” She beamed at Cloud. “You gonna try some, right? I hope it turned out okay, it's my first time making one.”

Cloud smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

Tifa laughed and went to help his mother. He watched her chattering away and asking questions about the recipe and how to cook other things. This is nice. Wish it could always be like this. He moved the ice pack from his eye and sighed. After I make SOLDIER. Then nobody will say I'm not good enough. Tifa looked so happy, getting bowls and spoons for them. Would she still laugh like this once he left? Would she still visit his mother? Of course she will. She's Tifa. She wouldn't abandon anyone. Maybe she'll even miss me? He didn't want to think of her sad, but he did want her to think of him. It was the only way. He was sure she'd never pay attention to him unless he was a somebody worthy of her. He thought of Dan's bragging about asking Tifa out to the watertower. Did he do it yet? Maybe not. I should ask her first. I can tell her about SOLDIER. She'll understand me. That I'm going for her and I'll come back just as soon as I've made a name for myself. Cloud nodded. Yeah, I'll ask her before she leaves.

Tifa and his mother came back to the table and a bowl of fruit pie was put before him. “Honest opinion, else I can't get better,” she said, with a smile that melted his insides.

“S-sure.” He crammed a spoonful in his mouth and regretted it when he burnt his tongue. “Ah!”

“Cloud, be careful! It's not going anywhere.” Tifa laughed and leaned across the table to blow on his food. “Do you need help like a baby?” she teased.

Cloud rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “I'm not a kid.”

“Then don't eat like one.” She giggled and looked away.

Hiding a smile, Cloud took his time eating until there was nothing left. “You're good at this,” he commented.

“Really? You think?”

She looked so pleased with such little praise he felt guilty for not saying more. “Yeah. You could be a real chef.”

“All thanks to your mom.” Tifa sent a smile across the table.

A knock at the door interrupted them before Claudia could speak. “I'll get it.” She got up and went to the front door. “Oh, Brian, how can I help you?”

“Tifa here?”

Cloud stiffened at the gruff tone. Her dad was the town chief and what he said went. He wondered what Tifa said to convince her father she could go to Cloud's house to get cooking lessons from his mother.

“Tifa, your father's at the door.”

“Gotta go.” Tifa stood up and tucked her hair behind her ear. “This was fun.” She smiled at him again. “Although, next time, no fighting.”

Cloud's hand darted out before he knew what he was doing. His fingers closed around hers. “Wait.”

Tifa stopped and looked down at their hands. “Yes?”

Cloud swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. Do it. Before Dan or one of those other assholes gets there first. “C-can you come meet me at the watertower tonight?”

Tifa's eyes widened and her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “R-really? The watertower?”

Struck dumb, Cloud could only find it in himself to nod. After a long silence, in which Cloud noticed his hand starting to sweat, but was too afraid to let go of Tifa's hand in case she noticed the reason why, she gave him a sweet smile.

“Okay. I'll see if I can sneak out.”

Cloud frowned. Sneak out? Why?

“Tifa!”

“Coming, dad!” She extracted her hand from his. “Wait for me, okay? I'll come.” She hurried to the front door and passed his mother and her father on the way out.

Cloud stayed still for a long time after she left. He knew his mother came back in and that she cleared away the empty bowls, but he couldn't seem to move from his seat. His gaze remained fixed on the spot Tifa stood. The watertower. Tonight.

“You look happy. Did Tifa say anything?”

Cloud avoided his mom's searching gaze. “Not really.” He got up and went to his room, where he lay on the bed trying to work out what he wanted to say to Tifa. It would be an important night. He had to get the words just right.

[aerithagainstabusers]

So I saw Greg’s review of the Final Fantasy 7 Remake and it was so dumb I had to pick it apart so here we go. Spoilers for the remake below

This starts off bad. Immediately Greg is whining that the game isn’t what he wants. He complains about knowing the characters too well which is an absolutely insane thing to complain about. The deaths of the AVALANCHE don’t mean much in the original. You meet them a few times then they die. You have no connection to them

By getting to know them more - like Wedges love for the Sector Seven cats and how Jessie was an actress before her dad became gravely Ill after working for Shinra, they become more human. You can relate to them more and there’s more investment there. So when the fall of that plate comes? Losing them is more impactful than in the original

The battle system can be set to the same as the original in classic mode except you can’t physically attack (that is automatically done for you) so Greg can’t really complain about that. Sounds like he’s mad he died at bosses he didn’t die to in the original

His complaint about Sephiroth is weird. He’s the main bad guy. He needs to show up. With Sephiroth in the OG, you only hear about him a few times while in Midgar, where the remake is set. They need to bring him In much earlier and show Cloud suffering PTSD to understand this guy is a threat.

He also complains about not having a lot to do. And yeah while it’s not as open you have way more to do. The side quests are actually side quests - with the original, the only side quests you really have before leaving Midgar is dressing Cloud up and getting the perfume, tiara, and underwear. Otherwise? You’re stuck doing what the game tells you to do

You might ask “why are you always saying ‘in the original when you’re in Midgar’and I’ll explain that now

This. Is. Not. A. Spoiler.

The creators said from the start it would only be in Midgar and it would be an episodic game. All the promotional materials showed the game only in Midgar. It was obvious that IT WAS ONLY IN MIDGAR. Greg has no right to complain.

Now yes. You don’t have the same free travel but there is more to travel and there’s so much more content to make up for the fact you can’t leave the city. And by doing so, Midgar comes alive. So when you leave? It feels more of a loss and like you are leaving somewhere you have a connection to. Now this was disappointing because I was definitely wanting more. Like I wanted to keep playing in because it was dragging me in. But it was clear from the start and they were transparent with this. Greg clearly wasn’t looking all the things that were coming out about the game since you knew what was going on.

It even says on the back of the box it’s going to be the story in Midgar and that it’s the first game of the remake “project” and would go deeper into the city

Why is Greg surprised and acting like he’s being cheated out?

His next complaint is.... very worrying

Nanaki in the original never acted like a pervert with Aerith. He acted like he was aggressive to lower Hojos guard but that’s a nitpick. But the rest? Holy fuck Greg, STAY AWAY FROM WOMEN

in the remake, Hojo does not have plans to crossbreed Aerith and Nanaki. Instead? He wants to have SOLIDERS repeatedly rape her so she can “breed” and laughs in her face as he tells her all about how he ripped her mother’s corpse to shreds so he can continue to investigate her. There’s only molecules left of Iflana. He also tries to kill Cloud, Tifa, and Barret so he can show aerith their corpses to kill her hope she’ll be saved

But more importantly, Hojo's proposal in the remake is far more horrifying than in the original. He wants her to be raped over and over. Why the fuck doesn’t Greg see this as being bad an as a “P.C. culture” addition? What is wrong with you, dude. How do these things not show how insane he is

The cross-dressing is a stupid complaint. So you don’t get to go to a brothel and watch a small cutscene. Who cares? You get to see Cloud perform on stage at a cabaret and he is dressed up while on stage while you do a mini game. And that isn’t fun? Okay, Greg.

The events he’s talking about by the way? You fight in a Colosseum, you can choose to help Johnny, and/or you can do the iconic squatting game. Then you go to the Honeybee Inn, do a dancing minigame, and perform on stage. 

As opposed to the original where you talk to a man and tell him what dress you want. Do the most squats, Buy some wine at an inn, have a bath with a bunch of men, and give a woman some medicine. The amount of time you spend doing that will take you the same amount of time to do one side quest in the remake. Of course, the original had it’s restrictions because of the platform it’s on, but the remake definitely did go out of its way to expand that and make it feel like you were doing more.

This is a bit more valid. Like I get having nostalgia for the OG game and preferring it and that’s okay! But the Harry Potter comparison ruins it. Also Greg doesn’t seem to realise the difference between a remake and a remaster. The game is being remade. Of course the gameplay is going to change. Turn based games aren’t viable anymore and considering how good the graphics are, it would ruin the immersion. They had to change things like this to make it more modern. Remember, they aren’t just making this for fans. They’re wanting to bring in new people. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE REMAKE

SO PLEASE

IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT

READ THIS NEXT PART WITH ABSOLUTE CAUTION OKAY?

OKAY

SPOILER

WARNING

OVER

I really hope this is just a joke that Zack wasn’t mentioned before he appeared. But considering this is Greg, and how he really doesn’t seem to understand this game, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t know the significance of this scene. He says later in this article that it took him 24-40 hours to finish the game. Which, if you actually complete it (by doing all side quests, unlocking all limit breaks for everyone, getting master materia etc) it should take you ninety hours. Which makes me think he never went to Nibleheim and saw the cutscene of what happened to Zack and Cloud. Because FF7 is a very quick game if you just focus on the main quests. If you actually dig down deep? You can go way past the timer and have it frozen at 99:99:99. I don’t think he did anything in the original game and just did whatever the game told him to do without looking at anything else.

I really hope this is just a stupid edgy joke because Zack is a well-loved character but you never fucking know with this moron.

I understand his complaints about Nanaki. Nanaki is always in my party in the original so I was bummed you couldn’t play him, but he appears in the penultimate chapter. The writers probably didn’t feel it was worth their while to add him as a party member, and instead, make him a guest who helps.

The Sephiroth complaint is stupid because he’s missed the point. Up until he appears in the Shinra building, he isn’t actually there. Cloud is hallucinating. He is shown as being mysterious and unreachable as Cloud tries to get to him or freaks out whenever he sees an image of him.

Honestly this just sounds like Greg is mad it’s not the exact same as the original.

Which would just be boring, in my opinion.

Y’know what I said about Greg doing what the game told him to do and nothing else? Yeah this is proof. You have an All materia. It’s called ‘magnify’. And unless you didn’t look for treasure or looked at the new materia when you collected it? You would know this is the all materia. The summons in this game aren’t what they are in the original. You can’t use them in every battle and they only come in boss battles or otherwise difficult encounters because in the remake, it’s made clear that they are incredibly powerful. They come to you maxed out. Which he would know if he paid attention.

I will agree with him to an extent about the maxed out materia. Materia is easy to obtain in the remake (Cloud says this to Aerith when she playfully brags about having it), so if Greg had critical thinking, it would be clear that they don’t sell well is because .... well, it’s easy to max out. Everyone is doing it. But I will agree with him that the game is ‘too short’ in a sense, since having Firaga in only Midgar can be problematic for later games. I do have to wonder what they’ll do in the next episodes. Will you have to level up the magic power after upgrading it so Firaga does the same damage in later dungeons as it did in the sewers of Midgar? It would also be neat to physically ride the chocobos through Midgar to make life easier but I also understand why they had the carriages  as it makes it less weird when Tifa suddenly appears in one when she’s going to Don Corneo’s only to never see a carriage in Midgar again, and the loading screen when they ake you from place to place does make it quicker for you to get places.

Still, it would be nice to ride them at some point so I will give Greg this complaint.

Like I said above, if you do everything in the original it should take you 90 hours. If it took Greg 2 days cumulatively at his highest estimate, he’s not completing the game, and he’s not achieving anything.

For comparison, here’s my latest game

As you can see, it’s at 44 hours. I have done all the sidequests (excluding the one mandatory Fort Condor which would add more time on to it but I didn’t want to do that this time around). I have reached the bottom of the crater, however, I have not done anything further and am now focusing on doing the rest I need to do. Like getting to level 99 on everyone, maxing out my command, summon, and magic materia to get the master materia for those three. Or maxing out all four enemy skill materia. Or getting everyone's limit breaks, or beating the weapons. Because these things take time. I could easily run and kill Sephiroth in that run right now. I could finish the game. But as I’m wanting to complete it as much as I can, then I can’t do that. And that’s not me doing a perfect game where you need to get 99 of each item you can (excluding things like the battery where you can only get three of). If you’re doing a perfect game, it takes even longer but honestly, that’s not something I’d say you’d need to do to ‘finish’ the game. That’s only if you want to challenge yourself.

Also might I add, the remake? It takes about 40 hours to finish it (I don’t know if that includes sidequests). This means in one part of a game  is the same length as the original if you don’t do any sidequests in the OG. I don’t know what Greg is talking about by ‘achieving less’. Yeah you don’t go to as many places, but considering this will be in different parts like the original, you do way more in the remake than you do in the original while in Midgar. 

The random encounters are definitely less in the remake. They don’t happen every a certain number of steps. Instead, you stumble across them in a realistic way rather than have a screen transition. It is way more immersive and again, is something that makes the game feel alive. It feels like an obstacle to overcome to get to the next place rather than an interruption like the original game random encounters (which I do love by the way, but it is very much a product of it’s time)

The next part also makes me laugh. He seems to think that because the other game has things finish ‘faster’ means it’s more productive. Which really shows he thinks his channel is great because he does more videos in a short period of time. Which, yeah, on a surface level it is more “productive”, but it’s not exactly exciting game play, is it? 

For comparison. Aerith says in the original that Sector Six is dangerous so she’ll help him out... but it takes about two minutes to go through and the random encounters are incredibly easy. It’s also not explained why the place is in ruins.

In the remake however, Aerith leads Cloud through it as Cloud is unfamiliar with it, and it is more of a challenge to get through, and he actually needs her help to get through the rubble. She explains part of the plate collapsed the tunnel and that’s why it’s such a mess. You get attacked by bandits on the way there and you spend an entire chapter trying to get through sector six, as it becomes the threat and the difficult path Aerith describes in the original. Rather than a place you just pass through with no issue, making you wonder “why the hell is Aerith insisting she goes with me?” outside of her having a crush. 

It’s small details like that which make the game come alive and actually makes you feel like you did something rather than it being a place you just passed through. It takes you longer, but it feels more like an achievement.

No one feels like they achieved something when you leave Sector Six and go to the park outside Sector Seven’s gates. Because it’s just a road to get to where you need to go. Your next challenge is trying to get Cloud chosen as the girl for Corneo but that is optional. I mean, if you prefer that it’s easier to get through as you like just seeing the story than solving dungeons, that’s fine! But this just shows Greg’s ‘quantity is quality” mindset. 

Also, when you climb up the plate to get to the Shinra building? IN the original, you climb up some pipes. The hardest part is the swinging pipe, which is incredibly easy when you time your jump to the squeaking of the pipe. They tell you it’ll be difficult to get to the Shinra building... when it takes you all of five minutes.

The remake has you climbing up the plate and broken buildings, using a grappling gun to get to higher ground when your walking path is done, while you get attacked by Shinra soliders trying to stop you from getting to higher ground when they recognise you as AVALANCHE. While it’s not hard it definitely feels more of a challenge than “climb up this pipe. jump onto that pipe, now climb up another pipe” in the original. And with the Shinra soliders while you can stop them easily, it does make you feel that getting there is going to be a struggle, or at least something that’s inconvenient and it’ll be ‘hard’ because people will try and stop you along the way.

Although I do wish that when you were in the Shinra building, you had to do more sneaking in the higher floors like you did in the original, but at least the game does give you a reason why you don’t need to sneak around. The mayor’s off hand comment about hating Shinra as he gives you a keycard in the original is expanded to the Mayor being a member of AVALANCHE who is actively helping you.

 I also think it's funny he complains about “mundane tasks” when the original game is full of that, too. All JRPGs have it

Basically, this entire review of Greg’s can be “WAHHH IT’S NOT THE ORIGINAL WHY IS IT MAKING ME WORK HARD!” and it’s hilarious