#i love stede's character so much he needs a hug so bad

[kaelyx-zac01]

Okay, I love the second season as much as the next guy. But, I'm still waiting for Stede's development: for his trauma and pain to come up. And I know it will come up, I trust in OFMD show runners on that account. But yeah, as much as we would all love for Blackbeard and Stede to be together, there's just so much unresolved with Stede's character that definitely needs to be dealt with before he and Ed could be in any relationship.

I mean, with Ed, at least we get the gravy basket. He's able to realize that the heart of his self-destructive behavior is his self-hatred and the belief that he's unlovable. At least, we see him trying to work things out about himself and resolve that on his own.

But with Stede? Not so much. His strife and insecurities are very much left in the dark. He was literally burdened by guilt the entire first season. The mix of Chauncey's last words and Mary being happier without him literally hammers the fact that he is unneeded -- a burden to others and a presence who destroys everything he touches. And he's afraid that it's the same with Blackbeard. No wonder he's so frustrated with himself that he doesn't blame anyone else but himself for Ed's "death". Or that he doesn't feel very much like a captain. He still believes that he has to be this masculine ideal to be so.

And yet, Stede remains very much a great leader. Despite his issues, he continues to look out for his crew, even if it meant banishing the man he loves. He gives advice to Lucius. He doesn't lash at his crew, despite them literally murdering Ed. He considers the consent of the crew first before bringing Blackbeard again on board. Not to mention, the literal positive impact Stede has on the crew in general. Because of his influence, they're able to create a safe space for each other. His advice in addressing conflict, of talking things through, echo from the mouth of Izzy Hands himself. And don't even get me started on Stede's impact on Ed -- he literally brings the man from the dead.

It seems the entire crew reflects how much positive things Stede has brought to their life. Of his worth as a person. And yet Stede still doesn't see that. To him, he's a shit captain and person, especially with what he did to Ed. And thus, he tries so much to make amends, it tears at my heart, god.

So, yeah I just want the crew to validate Stede. He tries so hard to be a positive, comforting presence to everyone. But, no one AT ALL has sat with Stede to assure him that he's seen -- that he is worthy as he is. And I really hope we get that -- especially if it's Ed. Gosh, that would triumph all the "You wear fine things well" scenes for me

[suffersinfandom]

I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?

That said.

Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:

The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.

Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.

David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).

It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!

Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.

"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.

"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.

"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)

"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.

People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.

I just.

I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.

[sky-fire-forever]

Ya'll need to learn to love more than one character. Like someone loving a certain character does not take away your ability to love a different character or even their ability to love a different character

Izzy's my favorite character, yeah. But why are people assuming I hate Ed?? I fucking love Ed. I adore him so much. He's so baby girl. He tries so hard to be good and a lot of his worse actions are fuelled by his self-hatred and loss. He's fascinating to me and I want to study him like a bug. The way he distances himself from his cruelty ("technically the fire killed those guys") and how he presents himself differently to different people (the party boy to Jack, the sensitive sap with Stede, the ruthless captain to Izzy) are both things that I fucking love analyzing and talk about to my partner constantly. I love how hard he tries to be a good person! I love how he is slowly learning how to care about people on their terms instead of his own. I love his growth and how much he WANTS to grow

You know who else I love? Stede! His compassion and care for the people around him is so touching and I love that he takes so much pleasure in the little things. I love how we've watched his confidence build since the first episode, where he was constantly panicked and nervous, to a capable captain who still loves his crew but will defend himself and won't take as much shit from people like Nigel. He'll defend his crew instead of hiding like a coward. I love how he delights in details like fancy wardrobes and a cursed suit because he takes pleasure in small things like that! In marmalade and puzzle chests. He's a sweetheart and he rejects the idea that he has to be cruel to be capable

Oluwande was my favorite character when I first watched season one (though I dislike a lot of his season two writing because it feels like they dumbed him down) because he's kind and very intelligent. He cares a lot for the crew and he's extremely capable while also being a little goofy and being soooo bad at addressing his feelings. I love that he was so obviously in love with Jim, but had that first instinct of denying it if questioned because that's so often how crushes work! His little "What? No! Shut up!" When the chief pointed out his feelings for Jim still makes me giggle. He's a little awkward, but he's sweet and he's supportive. He also can be a little shit when he wants to be, like when he basically made Jim confront their past because he was petty about them not telling him about it. He's always got people's backs and there's a reason he was chosen to be the captain during the Izzy mutiny.

Jim is a character who means SO much to me as a trans person. Their arc is so special to me and they're also just... so fucking cool. I love their journey of figuring out who they're supposed to be versus who they WANT to be. Their struggle with what's expected of them and them wondering if they even want what they thought they wanted is so touching. Them defending Izzy is actually so great to me because it shows their loyalty and their need to defend their family. It didn't have to be Izzy, it could be any member of the crew and they would have their back. Because that's what family means to them. "Our dick" says a lot about them, as does their little "He was your friend" line. Jim cares about people even when they're quiter and more closed off. Hell, they stabbed a man in the first episode for insulting Frenchie and they didn't even talk yet! Them being the one to tell the Pinocchio story to Fang was so great because it shows just how soft they really are and want to be.

Speaking of, I also adore Fang so so so much. He's such a sweetheart and he's sensitive and he cares so, so much about his friends. He's a big softie and I wanna hug him. I bet he gives such great hugs. As soon as he's given the allowance to be soft, he takes it. He misses his dog that Ed forced him to kill (which I feel like no one talks about?) and gets blushy and giggly about Lucius finding him attractive. He's just!! So fantastic

I wish we knew more about Ivan because I love him and I have so much fun imagining stuff about him. Like how I hc him as a trans woman

Archie as a character is so fun and I wish wish wish we got more of her because I fucking LOVE everything about her. She's so fun to watch and I want to know how she gets along with Oluwande and I want to see her interact with the rest of the crew so badly. The way she fell in love with Jim because of their hope makes me CRY. I love that she kisses Jim while they're covered in blood and there's a rotten leg like a foot away and she doesn't care. I love her energy and her excitement and every scene with her just makes me grin like an idiot. I'm still so mad about the season being cut because I feel like we could have gotten more scenes with her

Roach is fucking great. My partner and I will quote "meat is meat" at each other constantly. He's so ridiculous and I love him. I love how obsessed with Zheng's soup he is. I love his bitchy "how am I supposed to cook here?" when Stede moves them to live under a bridge. I love how chill he is and the faces he makes when he's reacting to things. He's so funny and I love him

Frenchie is my fucking beloved. His mind box is something I think about so often. How he doesn't want to think about all that has happened to him, but doesn't. How hurt he is. How he fucking deserves every bit of becoming captain of his own ship. The fact that he sings and plays an instrument (I do not know what specific instrument he plays. Is it a ukulele?) and sings about how they're all gonna die with a grin on his face. He's a dork and I love how he hides Izzy at great risk to himself because he cares about his family as much as Jim does. The way he expdcts Ed to kill him and basically offers to do it for him just to get it over with (if I'm remembering correctly). I love his superstition and how he believes it's supported by fact! I think his superstitious beliefs are so, so interesting and I want to know where he learned them.

Wee John is so fucking great. How long has he been doing drag? What happened to his mother with whom he used to make dresses? I need to know! I love that he just wants to set things on fire all the time. I love his line about "I'd love to be stabbed by Jim". I love all of him! He's such a fun character

I love Lucius and how trauma genuinely changes him. He's a bitch and he's petty and he loves gossip. He's the first person to insert himself into a shitty breakup, helping both Stede and Ed at different points. Him keeping Jim's sex a secret and him helping both Stede and Ed is so interesting to me! He's a supportive friend and he's a slut (affectionate) and he's a bitch (affectionate) and everything about him makes me obsessed. I like that Stede has to talk to him about opening up about his trauma! I like that Lucius genuinely loves Pete and how his trauma has made him more bitter. I love how he's still the first person to call bullshit on Ed.

Black Pete actually used to annoy me, but he's grown on me. I love that he's such a dork who struggles with insecurity to the point of making shit up about himself. I love how much he loves Lucius! I fucking adore his one-liners and his delivery of them. He's so fucking funny

I could spend fucking hours talking about Mary Bonnet. I love her so much. Everything about her makes me feral. How she refuses to take Stede's bullshit. Her paintings! Her relationship with Doug that seems so fucking sweet. I love this woman. Please bring Mary back. Please. I'm begging

Buttons is Buttons. Everything about him is fucking fantastic and I want to chew on him like a chew toy

Me enjoying a certain character does not take away from my absolute love of other characters. I tend to talk about Izzy most because I find active displays of tragedy more interesting and Izzy and Ed are the most outwardly angsty characters (which is also why I'm usually talking about Kraken Era Ed when I discuss him). They outwardly express more dramatic feelings rather than characters like Stede or Frenchie who bury a lot of those feelings or express them in different ways. Izzy is from the dramatic genre and I love dramas. Comedy writing is not my specialty

But I can recognize that while I think about other characters a lot, I don't talk about them as often. So expect more metas and discussion of more characters in the future (hopefully. I just write things as I think of them and them to my queue tbh)

[sixstepsaway]

right, so, here are my Thoughts about that whole thing now i've slept on it. probably won't be super coherent but here we go

i feel bad for stede. he got shoved, somehow, into the weird love interest role so many female characters find themselves in, where they are truly completed by a man and a romance not the things they've been striving for throughout the series so far. he's shown no sign of wanting to give up the pirate lifestyle he's just finally got back, and to accompany him giving that up with izzy's gorgeous "piracy is about family and somewhere to belong" speech from earlier just feels cruel. we joke about how episode 2 stede wouldn't care if lucius died but that changed, he got attached, his crew became his family. they were loyal to him and followed him even when they were just working at spanish jackie's for pennies. they respected him and loved him enough to let him talk them into letting ed back on board. this was, at least at this point in stede's arc, his happy ending. in fact, you can even argue he was happy without ed for a while at the start of this episode. his relationship with ed is important and it's icing on the cake, but it isn't something to complete him, or his only source of happiness -- nor should it be!!! and then for some reason ed shows back up, fishes up his leathers, kicks ass to save him, loses izzy and now they're leaving stede's ship and crew and found family to... run an inn made out of the world's shittiest fixer-upper? stede? stede twirly fancypants bonnett??? in that place? maybe at the end of a full run this might have felt like a good conclusion to his story, him realizing he wanted belonging, not necessarily to be a pirate, and maybe them bringing some of crew along to have their home somewhere safer and happier than the piracy they don't really enjoy but turn to because they have no other choice, but right now it just feels like... honestly like either he agreed to it to keep ed with him ("AITA for convincing my boyfriend to run an inn with me after leaving him two days ago because we were moving too fast? little backstory: this involved my boyfriend leaving everything in his life for me and no i did not apologize for running off to become a fisherman") or like, as i said up there, a matter of "actually all he needed was a BOYFRIEND all along" which... ngh. stede is more than his relationship.

idk why we bothered establishing that frenchie, jim and even archie were willing to put their lives on the line and lie to ed's murderous face to save izzy's life just for them to be stone-faced and have no feelings about his loss. like, okay, ed and he's stories are tied together and him dying in ed's arms makes more sense narratively than him dying in anyone else's, but also ed hadn't earned that and izzy deserved to die in the arms of someone who hadn't tried to kill him and shot him in the leg not to mention we went from fang's squishy hug and frenchie holding his hand to just... nothing? not a thing? roach, the ship's surgeon, did nothing to try and save him? it's just ed slapping his gunshot wound pathetically?

it strongly feels like they swapped izzy and ed's roles in his death scene sounds stupid but hear me out "you're my only family" would make so much more sense coming from izzy with ed dying in his arms. izzy's desperation to keep hold of ed, right down to accidentally pushing him down the kraken path at the end of season 1, being rooted in the feeling that ed is all he has in the world? ed responding that no, the crew love izzy. he's earned their love. he has a family outside of ed now, can't he see that? that makes so much more sense, considering izzy nearly died for them multiple times and spent the first few episodes trying to protect them and then being protected by them in kind he was their new unicorn!!! meanwhile ed said sorry to fang, izzy and lucius, and no one else has been shown to give any fucks about him since that whole thing, and like... rightly so? because he hadn't earned them back at all? and he fucked off on them too last episode lol dont forget he didnt JUST leave stede

we should have known better than to trust djenks when he broke jim and olu up for no reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

nothing worth a damn happened this episode it was all running around and waving swords. idk how anyone got to where they were at the end. it was just poor writing.

the pacing has been off all season but they really shoved three episodes into one and hoped it'd work

i'm getting flashbacks to the timeless ~finale~ ugh

they spent so much time one ed's stupid fishing boat monologue instead of on ANYTHING ELSE

i ran out of thoughts

oh, here's another: the show walked a line between muppetry and things that were taken seriously lucius' finger, izzy's toes: serious ed getting bonked by a cannonball: emotionally serious, but not physically serious ed and stede both getting stabbed: not serious and what was treated as serious and what was treated as handwavy was dictated by what the storyline and the emotional needs were izzy getting shot to make it so they all had to run away yapping would have been hilarious, especially if he got back to the ship and went "nah eddie it's my left side, remember what i told you about the left? nothing important on the left" "your liver" <- roach, horrified but instead weird death scene because this was treated as physically serious, even though it...should not have been, really? and that is bothering me a lot too, because when lucius was thrown to his death, we looked at stede finding the crew on the island and went, "aha! lucius will be fine, because that's what the show logic is" and we were right, because the show had taught us that but that didn't extend to izzy for this and that's just weird

[ragingstillness]

MAJOR SPOILERS

Ok just finished the season here are my thoughts:

@/djenks fuck you man

No seriously, I love like 99% of what you do but killing Izzy? Fuck you man

I know it’s entirely possible he won’t turn out to actually be dead and season two will start with Izzy being like “you fuckers buried me alive without even checking?! I hate you all!”

I’m always afraid of stuff like this happening when characters are given so much development and love but really it feels so unnecessary I can’t accept it as a plot point like I don’t even feel sad now because I’m so numb

Certainly seems like we’re getting a third season or at least the set up is there

Ricky can fuck right off. I do kind of wish he had remained and become a sort of protégée for Stede from the beginning and someone else became the villain because the whole thing with him was clearly that he was meant to be a metaphor for queer people feeling safe to live their truth when they see other queer people do so and playing out that metaphor against the plotline of the season gets pretty negative

Not a fan of us not seeing if the rest of Zheng’s crew were ok

Not a fan of them just fleeing without acknowledging that the port is probably overrun by soldiers who are holding pirate captives still. In general I wanted a better idea of how many British soldiers were really there so I’d get a better understanding of how the plan worked

This is turning into a rant about the things I didn’t like but I’m gonna keep going, I’ll put the neutral and good thoughts at the end

Yeah Zheng’s ships got blown up but they seemed to still be on the water. Did they even try to fix them up and make them seaworthy again? Healing people?

During the fight where Stede and Ed reunite and Zheng is there I got a bad feeling that she was starting to replace Izzy as the “swordsman” character and I thought of how Auntie is acting an awful lot like how Izzy was developing when she was trying to be more encouraging to Zheng to be herself

If they were gonna have Izzy get gut shot I wanted more significance to it, maybe it’s over the only wound he has from being stabbed “in the right bits” and it was from Ed? Or smtg like that

Izzy’s death scene was way too short and no one was sad enough for me

Genuinely ridiculous for Ricky’s character to be faster on the draw than Izzy with a literal knife against his back

We never found out what happened to Ed’s red silk scrap and that was a bummer

Did the only person to acknowledge Izzy’s infamy really have to be Ricky? Give Izzy more respect from more people

Idk if this was on purpose, probably was, but the way Ricky was treating Jackie felt racially motivated to me. It’s rare the show gets explicit about that, mostly just in season one when that one officer called Roach a slave and got killed for it. It felt, like Izzy’s death, unnecessary, considering how much of this show is about joy and seems to dance nimbly around the discrimination that would have existed in that time period. Pick a lane. Is the world gonna have racism and discrimination or not? Because having just tiny moments feels out of place.

When something like “we get poison training in this family” exists why kill Izzy

Really I’m just pissed about that, he means a ton to me and to a lot of other people too. Con was the first celebrity I got to meet in person and hug and talk to. Ok the numbness is wearing off now I’m sad

Still waiting on Sam Bellamy to show up in this show

Not sure I love Izzy calling Ricky a cunt. I mean, I know I’m somewhat prescribing American sensibilities onto British language and that it seems like splitting hairs when Izzy has been calling everyone twat from the beginning but while I know this show is mostly about men being queer I wouldn’t mind less gendered insults against women

Izzy still never got a proper apology from Ed and that’s bugging me

Did Zheng not say she’d need Ed and Stede? How did they go from that to the two of them being inn keepers? Just odd and jolting

When did Ed and Stede take possession of that house where they buried Izzy?

Did the bird landing on Izzy’s grave symbolize Olivia or Buttons and are they implying that sea witch magic is gonna bring him back? Confusion symbols

The Happy/Neutral stuff:

“Finding family to kill for” - fuck me up Izzy that’s so sweet

“Being a part of something bigger than yourself” “the crew” “you have family all around you and they love you” dammit Izzy this is supposed to be the happy section

Auntie is my love she’s so good

This episode had all the slow motion badassery of my dreams

I totally knew Ed was gonna dive for his leathers, idk how I knew but I totally did

Ed reverting to a violent version of himself on the rejection of “pop-pop” is totally analogous to Ed turning to a life of piracy after killing his father and the fact that Stede’s letter/Stede’s love has always brought him out of that killing phase is beautiful to me

I had forgotten about the messages in bottles and that genuinely cracked me up

Finally we get to see the characters be really really cool. Like we’ve seen them be silly and incompetent but it’s refreshing and exciting to see them be genuinely awesome, makes me feel an odd sort of pride

Love that Zheng remained relevant for the whole season and wasn’t a one-off

I could literally feel the passion in Con’s voice talking about how the pirate spirit will survive I guarantee he was picturing himself giving a speech about queerness because the wording and delivery was very reminiscent of his commentary during conventions and especially the “vote the fuckers out” speech

Archie/Jim kiss wahoo we love to see it

Jim should wear a tricorn hat forever they looked so good

I am genuinely having difficulty remembering so many of the good parts because I’m so sad

I’m glad Ed said I love you first, it was beautifully delivered, that frigging Star Wars reference Stede you fucker

Lucius/Pete marriage fuck yeah

Wedding questions asked by the crew? Beautiful

Mateys - yeah Matelotage is a little clunky of a word to say without a french accent this is a good medium

Ok I legit can’t think of anything else I’m gonna see if I can get in a good cry before work in the morning sorry guys

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

If a Man Cannot love Himself, He Will Never Love Another

by Viyella_Mozzarella

Wrote my own season two because a bitch is taking too long. ( I want my goddamn season two dammit.) (it’s okay I have good omens.)

So basically this is after the crew gets found on the island and Stede becoming a stronger and more dangerous pirate. Edward is coping in the worst way possible and all in all, shots going to hell. VERY SAD. So here’s a little preview. . . . . The wind rushed against the small row boat, its oak wood creaking with tiredness as the crew sat upon it. Stede looked upon the sky with a melancholy stare. The sea water hurt his eyes and dried his mouth. His body ached and his mind was fogged with guilt. He needed to get back, needed to apologize, needed to tell Ed that he loved him just as much. He needed Ed, He wanted Ed. He would move heaven and Hell to be with him once more.

Words: 826, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV) RPF, Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Stede Bonnet, Edward Bonnet | Stede Bonnet's Father, Israel Hands, Spanish Jackie (Our Flag Means Death), Lucius Spriggs, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Black Pete (Our Flag Means Death), Jim Jimenez, Olivia the Seagull (Our Flag Means Death), Oluwande Boodhari, Buttons (Our Flag Means Death), Mary Allamby Bonnet, Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death), Wee John (Our Flag Means Death)

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Oluwande Boodhari/Jim Jimenez, Black Pete/Lucius Spriggs

Additional Tags: Gay Sex, Everyone Is Gay, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Universe, Hot Sex, Stabbing, stabbing but make it super hot, babies first smut, Stede Bonnet Loves Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet Needs a Hug, Stede Bonnet Apologizes, Hurt Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet Has a Praise Kink, Stede has gotten rugged from time at sea, Edward is like “OH HOT DAMN“, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Needs a Hug, Bitchslapping, Bitch you’re gay, Edward is in Love, Blackbeard | Edward Teach is Not Okay, Blackbeard | Edward Teach is Bad at Feelings, Blackbeard is a dominate bottom, gay gay homosexual gay, Gay Pirates, happy pride month bitches, Gay Panic, Angst with a Happy Ending

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47786848

[chained-to-the-mirror]

PREFACE: I never make text posts, but I have been having insomnia for at least two weeks now and nothing else helps, so I’m trying this, per friend suggestion.

So, I have been watching Our Flag Means Death obsessively, and feeling feelings about Ed in particular. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strong a connection to a character before, which is a bit strange, because I’m outwardly so different from him. He’s cool, beautiful, smart, feared - and I’m none of these things! But listen... That’s the surface. That’s how he appears - and of course he is all of those things too, but he’s SO RELATABLE in what motivates him and how he reacts to things.

Ed has many faces. He has a face for every person (or group of people) that he interacts with. He can be whatever the audience wants him to be, right? But who IS he really? I think that’s what he needs to figure out, and S1 has started with that... but we have yet to see the True Ed. Anyway, he is all about expectations. I relate to that so much! Always thinking about what others want from me, not really knowing who I am? That’s been most of my life. These days I’m a lot better about it, but I still catch myself doing it. Like Ed, I have a compulsive need to give people what they want, at the expense of my self. Neither of us has a very good knowing of self, which is why I guess it used to be relatively easy to just adapt to the company we keep. 

I read a fic last night that made me realize another thing that we have in common: we are both terrified of failing and looking stupid. Ed can’t handle people laughing at him, he can’t handle not knowing how to do a new thing instantly, perfectly. I think what he does with Stede is incredibly brave, when he lets Stede teach him about dining and things like that. He makes himself vulnerable (and Stede of course never mocks him, bless him). I often don’t even try things because I hate failing, and I would rather die than be laughed at. I guess it comes from years of bullying, I don’t know, but I can’t take a joke AT ALL, and I feel like me being bad at something is a joke. When those “fancy” people at dinner at the party laugh at Ed, I feel his panic. It’s very difficult to watch. I also get the violent impulse he has, pulling his gun and saying “Nobody laughs at me” - and I’m not really a violent person, not towards others, but the thoughts I’ve had... yeah. Poor Ed, I just want to wrap him in a blanket and hug him tight.

Also, at the very end when he is crying his heart out, all alone in the dim captain’s quarters... I feel gut wrenching pain every time, and it doesn’t get any easier. I may be fortunate in my life now in that I rarely feel like he does in that moment, but it was a very common experience for me, and it still happens sometimes. It’s the feeling of making your own prison, then wanting to claw yourself out of it, but realizing you have no fingernails left. He is completely empty, completely alone, and it will be like that forever until he finally dies. He realizes all that, and of course the heartbreak of Stede abandoning him is a part of it, but it’s nowhere near all of it. The fic I read yesterday really goes into this, into how Stede was really just a catalyst (this is the fic, read it and die, it’s so good) and all the emptiness, all the loneliness, all the numbing boredom was already there long before he arrived. I know Stede is really the main protagonist, but to me it’s just so much a show about Ed and his journey. Maybe I’ve read too much meta? Anyway, what I think Ed feels is that he is forever on the outside. As Blackbeard, he has to keep everyone at arm’s length - and who he is with Stede is another role, one he feels much more at home in but still, it’s a role, and it’s him pushing the Blackbeard side in the shadows in favor of being this soft person that people maybe would love (instead of fear). And he still feels like he’s not belonging, not really. And now he can’t be Ed anymore, even that softer role has been ripped away from him. He will forever be doomed to being Blackbeard, and really, how long will he able to keep it up now that he knows there may have been other options? (I need S2 right now! I need to find out who he is!) 

So he cries alone, like a lost child. it’s so painful, I die just thinking about it. It’s the chronic feeling of emptiness, that Stede partially filled - but now that Stede’s gone, he’s back to square one. Or actually several steps behind that, because he’s had a taste of other things. 

I don’t know where I’m going with all this. I just feel so strongly for him and with him... I think my subconscious is keeping me awake, or keeps waking me up, and I don’t know what to do about it. I keep reading fic, and meta, and rewatching the show over and over. It’s taken over my life. It’s vitally important to me that Ed gets a happy ending. I don’t mean that I want him to be together with Stede and happy (though OF COURSE I WANT THAT) - I want him to be happy, period. Just as himself, as Edward. I want him to know who he is and accept it, at least mostly. 

This was supposed to be a gay pirate comedy! How am I in this situation? 

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

Mystery Stew

by MissCookiemonster

Izzy knows that his time on the Revenge is limited. As soon as he is no longer useful or worth the trouble, he is out. Three months after Bonnet's return he can sense that something is going on with the crew. The only logical explanation: his time is up.

Aka Izzy is dodging brain cells like bullets and doesn't even trust dinner. Especially not dinner.

Words: 1684, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Kindness? Nah, it must be murder

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Israel Hands, Lucius Spriggs, Black Pete (Our Flag Means Death), Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death), Oluwande Boodhari, Jim Jimenez, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet

Relationships: Israel Hands & Everyone, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Black Pete/Lucius Spriggs, Oluwande Boodhari/Jim Jimenez, Israel Hands & Lucius Spriggs

Additional Tags: Misunderstandings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Angst, Lucius Spriggs Lives, Food Issues, The Toe Incident (implied), Feed the Izzy, Israel Hands Has Issues, Israel Hands-centric, Hurt Israel Hands, Israel Hands is Bad at Feelings, Israel Hands Needs a Hug, He Will Get One (Later), Trauma, angry rat man can't handle kindness, why do I love this gremlin pirate so much?, I blame Con O'Neill

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41146020

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

In Due Time

by MusicalProstituteMyDear

“Now then, what in the Seven Seas are you doing awake at this hour, little one?”

Izzy hadn’t known how he’d wormed himself into this sorry excuse of a mess, but whenever Bonnet put his fists on his hips and looked down at him with such unbridled… caring and adoration, as though he could barely support his own fucked-up head on his shoulders, he knew better than to test his limits. He’d rather let Wee John throw him overboard naked for the whole crew to watch before he ever admitted to any living soul on the Revenge that when his (not) Captain’s tone softened in such a way, obeying would make him none the happier.

He pouts for good measure though, making it very apparent his pseudo-distaste in such treatment. “Not tired,” he mumbles, averting his eyes. “An’ not little.”

Or, wee Izzy mourns his toe w/ the help of Papa Stede (and Lucius, too).

Words: 5387, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, Other

Characters: Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death)

Relationships: Stede Bonnet & Lucius Spriggs, Stede Bonnet & Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet & Lucius Spriggs & Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet & Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death), Israel Hands & Everyone

Additional Tags: Non-Sexual Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Men Crying, Crying, Israel Hands-centric, Israel Hands Redemption, Israel Hands is Bad at Feelings, Soft Israel Hands, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Israel Hands Needs a Hug, Israel Hands Needs Therapy, Regressor Israel Hands, Little!Izzy, Caretaking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Stede and Izzy have resolved their issues, Basically everyone on the Revenge is a regressor bc I say so, Thumb-sucking, Caregiver!Stede Bonnet, Caregiver!Edward Teach, Infantilism, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Big Bro!Lucius, in which most of the crew openly regresses and take care of one another, Coping Mechanisms, Crew as Family, For the most part, alternate universe - littles are known, in which the author reads too much into Izzy not having one (1) toe, I love Ed do NOT think this is me hating on him bc Im not, Baby!Izzy Hands, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 01, Lucius is a teen/tween regressor idk man, Out of Character, maybe ooc?

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/39190659