#i love you today and tomorrow amd the many years i will live

[oneshortlove]

Haven't spoken in a minute, but I still love you

[princessofmerc]

With each passing race I become more and more bitter.

I love Lewis for what he has achieved in the sport, but my goodness his fans put me off. Why do they always have to hate on George for no reason? It’s disturbing and cult like, people can beat your driver.

When he first joined the team I was so excited to see how the move benefited his career, but it’s come to the point where I want him out of it. Time and time again his teammate, team principle and members of the team throw him under the bus time and time again. I hate seeing people who rated him in Williams turn against him.

Mercedes won’t win championships any time soon and I want George to have the opportunity to do so. I can’t remember the last time I watched a race live. You know RB are gonna win the rest. Maybe next year will be better.

Lewis is a great driver. But he needs to realise that he's not going to lose by losing out against George. George was better all weekend the result may not show this in points but anyone who really watches knows. He may even be a great person. I'm personally getting the ick from the people he surrounds himselves with but let's be honest. They're all privileged and rich. Even Lewis as the only black driver. As the most succesful driver.

His fans are an abusive bunch of shit. And I mean that. With Max I didn't say a lot because I personally didn't see a lot of abuse that wasn't a direct reply to racism. And both sides were wrong. With Nicky it was unwarranted. The FIA and Red Bull are so much more to blame and for Nicky to hire security to protect his girlfriend (because he was scared of something happening to Sandy more than himself). They're visibly sending out "kill yourselves" to people. To minors. And no their excuses mean nothing. Not if we're already back to part two of the vicious cycle of dealing with team Lh. Tomorrow they'll pretend nothing ever happened.

Honestly Lewis, as long as he continues glorifying his fans the way he does and giving people the reason to believe they are right and they have nothing to fear. I'm through with him. I'm not claiming there aren't assholes along the George Russell fans. Even Alex Albon fans can get it wrong sometimes. Being a Lewis fan doesn't make you an asshole. As much as being a George fan doesn't make you a racist or fatphobic and stuff. And I'm aware that just because there are black sheep in every section of driver fans and it's generalising to claim there'S an issue with Lewis fans that I amd oing what I'm condoning.

Maybe it's being friends with someone who claimed "yeah okay that's bad but I got one hate anon by a George fan so both sides are bad". But I'm bitter. In 2021 y'all wanted him what are you so afraid of?

George showed a lot more this weekend than any driver did the whole year. He can drive on the same level as the world champions on the grid. He is the driver to look out for. He makes these mistakes and never makes them again. He takes responsibility (other than others who blame their team, the wind, George Russell, Oscar Piastri, the sun, the moon and the stars). The pace he's been showing. He's going to be a problem to so many drivers in the future. And I guess that's the issue

As for the team. I feel like something shifted today. It's small. It's maybe just a different twitter admin. Who knows. (But for Shov to not even mention Lewis). Maybe I'm delulu. But at the end of the day I don't think George should go elsewhere. Not because he couldn't outdrive any driver in their current team, which I believe firmly he could. But because I'm not sure if the teams that could help him succeed would let him. Other than maybe Williams, who after the European stretch is over are probably going to go back to the back of the midfield because that's what happened 2020,2021 and 2022. No other team would let him grow as much as Mercedes. What use is a Red Bull seat if you aren't allowed to beat Max Verstappen?

So yeah. I feel like a lot of the leading engineering voices in the team are more neutral than, say Toto. Which makes sense. Lewis had a massive impact on the success of Mercedes. But let's not forget that without a team like Mercedes Lewis wouldn't have had the success he had as well. Mercedes is one of the best teams on the grid as much as we sometimes hate it. They can win championships in the future and I feel like the people who matter know they can do it with both Lewis and George. And that George is their future.

Mercedes can be a shit place but unless Williams turns it around for the 2024 season it is the best place for George to be.

[kickthecan-revolution]

I was driving back and forth to the new place, dropping boxes off, etc., when I thought I saw Ro.

I worked with Ro for over a decade - in my early manager days, I had to find someone who spoke French, could fly to Paris and deliver a new hire orientation to about 400 people. Someone said French was his second language so I looked at him and said you’re getting on a plane tomorrow evening, can you do it? Do you have a passport? He said of course I can. Only to find out two days later that he was terrified of public speaking and he hadn’t spoken actual French in years, but he loved me amd knew I needed help, and didn’t want to say no.

There is another moment about a year and a half later where he set up an appointment with me. In my office sitting across my desk, he was visibly nervous. So much so that he was shaking and a little sweaty. I quieted my mind and heart, really worried it was going on. Looking down, away, anywhere but my eyes:

“I want to tell you that I’m gay.”

His voice was shaky and his eyes were filled with tears. I was fairly open about being religious at that point, maybe that’s why he was so afraid.

“Bud, you wear a cobalt blue velvet jacket to work. I know.”

He burst out laughing and we laughed until we were sick. He went on to find love a few times, and we worked alongside together. Manager to employee but some kind of soul connection. It’s hard to explain.

He set up time again, this time to tel me he’d accepted an offer on another team. I was heartbroken but it was time. He sent me a song called Fly Away by Sweet Talk Radio, and I’ve kept it and played it when I needed some unconditional love in my corner.

He’s gone on to do incredible things at work but is so involved in the community too. He has the heart and soul of a Buddhist monk - the purity of his energy is so powerful.

So yesterday. I thought I saw him on the street. He lives two hours away, so chances were slim. It’s been so many years since we’ve even spoken. I went to pull a u-turn but couldn’t, but he was in my mind all day. And then today I get this.

Thank You.

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Please Have Snow and Mistletoe- Final Chapter

Merry Christmas my sweet deers!  I hope that you’ve all had a wonderful holiday season or just a lovely Winter.  I made it! Here we are at The End.  It’s short and sweet. Enjoy! Summary: The Big Day

Chapter 5: Joyeux

**

Flashback

“Yes, mother we’ll be there soon. Yes, of course, she’s coming.” 

“I didn’t want to tell you before because I knew you’d be a nag about it.” 

“Yes, you did raise me better than that. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll be there soon, she’s excited to meet you.”  

Shikamaru ended the call annoyed. His mother just couldn’t let things go. She managed to guilt-trip him into coming home earlier. Which he hadn’t done. There were more deals to close and projects to work on.  That came with a price.  When she demanded an explanation about why he wasn’t home yet his mouth began to spout lies about a girlfriend and conflicting schedules. Now he had to produce some female that could act like a doting girlfriend for just a few days. He had his assistant arrange a few “auditions” for him when he landed. He just needed to pick some un-troublesome women that could play along and keep his secret for a generous amount of money. It was deceitful and a little pathetic when he thought about it but there was little else he could do.

He left the airport lounge on the way to the tarmac where the private planes boarded. He’d heard the announcement about the weather cancellations and was thankful that he wasn’t flying commercial. He couldn’t delay going home any longer lest his mother come there and drag him home herself. 

That’s when he saw her. Blonde, beautiful with a tinge of sadness and disappointment in her striking teal eyes. Her face continued to fall as the customer service representative explained that the flights were all canceled. She, like so many others, probably had grand plans to be home for the holidays. Why her disappointment mattered more to him than anyone else’s, he wasn’t sure. 

“Excuse me.” 

End flashback 

“What’s wrong my darling? Did Santa not bring you what you wanted this year?”  Karura asked her daughter with a worried smile. 

“How can you tell?”  Temari wondered. She thought that she’d gone through the motions quite well.  Her family was excited to have her back home and had gone through the usual holiday activities.   She was happy and thankful to be back home but her heart was still heavy, despite pieces of it missing.  Left in the leaves, covered by the snow.

Her mother drew her in tight and kissed her forehead.  “Your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.” She had always told her that her eyes could never tell a lie. 

Temari held onto her tight, Shikamaru’s stuffed deer that he’d hidden in her suitcase between them. She needed her mother’s comfort, hoping it could patch up the missing piece of her heart. “As powerful and magical as Santa is Mama, I don’t think that he can give me what I want this year.” 

Karura gazed down at her daughter wishing that she could ease her heartache.  “Well there’s still some Christmas left, amazing things can happen. And you my little Sand Storm deserve all the magic that it can give.” 

“I have you and my brothers. I don’t need anything else.”  It felt wrong lying to her mother. 

“I’m not quite sure about that.  Have some faith Temari.  Especially today.” 

Kankuro knocked on her door, interrupting the moment. 

“Uhm Temari, there’s a guy outside in a fancy suit with a really expensive car looking for you. He seems a little too well dressed to be a hitman but uh I can try to get rid of him for you.” 

Her heart began to beat rapidly, hope and warmth blossoming in her chest.  “Did he give a name?” 

“Shika something? I have Gaara keeping an eye on him.” 

She stormed out of there to find him standing in the living room by their Christmas tree. Karura herded her sons away to give them some privacy. 

“Shikamaru, what are you doing here?”  She asked in disbelief that he was there. 

“I shouldn’t have let you go the way that I did.”

His eyes were soft but thoughtful.  “All my life I worked hard for what I wanted. Sacrificing time and relationships to acquire the things that I thought I needed to give my life meaning.  I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished but these last few days with you, well it showed me that there’s so much more.” 

He stepped forward taking her shaky hands in his.  “I kept trying to convince myself that this couldn’t be real.  I'm not good with feelings. I’m rational, I plan.  I could have never planned on you coming into my life. But I’ve never been more sure of anything. You and me together Tem. It just makes sense. I don’t need the presents, the snow, any of it. I just want you.”

His hand gently cupped her face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that managed to escape her eyes. 

“I want to keep playing with you in the snow till our fingers freeze. Have you teach me how to bake cookies.  I want to take snowy walks to feed the deer, and to kiss you even when there’s no mistletoe. I want to share in and create even more traditions with you.” 

She settled into his arms feeling her heart mend itself. 

“This is absolutely crazy but if this year taught me anything it’s that life is unpredictable.”  She gazed up at him, his soft brown eyes filled with love and joy for her.   

“Shikamaru, you’re everything that I could have ever wished for. I don’t know if it was those long conversations where we’d talk about everything or the quiet moments that you just held me in your arms or if it really is just that we’re meant to be together. My heart is yours. I wanted so much for you to ask me to stay but I’m glad that you came to your senses. This is the best thing that you could have given me.” 

She delighted in the warm kiss they shared. Thankful that this time she knew how they both felt. If he hadn’t followed her home she might have chased after him. Unable to imagine a life without him there.

When they separated he pulled her in tight layering kisses along her head.  She was there in his arms again and it all felt right. 

“So you must be Temari’s final Christmas gift.”

They looked up finding Karura standing there with a bright smile on her face. 

“Sorry for interrupting. I’m Shikamaru. Your daughter is incredible and I just needed her to know that.” Temari blushed at the compliment and the amused look on her mother’s face.  

“She really is, well we were just about to sit down for dinner so come on, there’s always room for one more.”    Shikamaru was grateful to be welcomed to join with their traditions. 

Temari took his hand in hers with an excited grin across her face.  The new couple followed Karura into the dining room where Temari’s brothers were sitting tense and unsure. 

Karura was kind and welcoming towards Shikamaru.  She pushed her sons to be the same although they were more confused and worried about him. 

Ice cold stares from Temari was enough to make them behave. This along with the additional gifts he’d had brought. By the end of the night, they warmed up to him and were closer to believing that he was good enough for their sister. 

The food was eaten and the gifts exchanged. They called Shikaku and Yoshino to let them know that he made it. Amd to introduce them at least over the phone to her family. Numbers were exchanged and promises made to have combined family events in the future. 

As the night came to a close, Shikamaru and Temari were dressed in another set of matching pajamas that he’d also given to her family.  This set had a festive arrangement of cactuses to celebrate her home. She took him outside bundled up in blankets and jackets to gaze up at the desert night sky. 

“This is kind of my own tradition. I’d come out here late Christmas night to look at the stars.” 

He held her close as she described the different constellations. Content just to hear her voice. 

Temari gazed at him, still amazed that he was there.

“So how did this all come about?” 

“After you left my mom was inconsolable. I’d never seen her like that. Both of them were pretty annoyed that I hadn’t given you an engagement ring. Everything else was the same, but you weren’t there anymore.  It felt empty and I couldn't handle the rest of my days being like that.”

He pulled her into a kiss, a simple reminder that she really was there. 

“Nothing about how we left it felt right. I wanted so much to stop you from leaving or to follow you to the airport. I kept convincing myself that it just wasn’t possible. You don’t fall for someone that quickly.   It’s pretty clear I’m a stubborn person.  But with all the time we spent together, the conversations and experiences that we shared. How could I not fall for you?  You’re my person.” 

The whole time, he was falling right along with her. 

Her fingers trailed over the watch she’d given him, remembering that fateful day. How different her day might be if it all hadn’t happened the way it did. How different her life would be. 

She nestled herself into his arms sharing lazy loving kisses between them. “So what does tomorrow hold for us?” 

With the bright lights of a million stars above them, her safe and warm in his arms, all was calm. And their futures bright.  

“Everything.” 

*

**

Please Have Snow and Mistletoe

Chapter 1: Flight XMAS

Chapter 2: A Scene from a Snowglobe

Chapter 3: Sweeter than a Sugar Plum 

Chapter 4: A Christmas Poem

Chapter 5: Joyeux

**

Phew I can’t believe I wrote this in time.  Also yes, Karura is there because I need more stories where the Sand Sibs have therir lovely mommy.  You can imagine whatever you want for Rasa.  I hope that you all enjoyed my Christmas gift to you!  Writing and interacting with all you lovely readers has been my saving grace in such a crazy year.  So you are all my gifts.  Thank you for reading, all your love, and support and I hope that Santa brings you your own Shikamaru ;D I love you and see you in the new year! 

[im-not-a-joke]

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?  

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you. 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

[neuropathicgypsy]

Mark confessed and Boss backed him up with the actual information...

I need an aortic valve replacement, the cardiologist said 4 years ago, i would need it 2 years ago if my heart didn't improve.

He asked the cardiologist not to tell me, probably with a gun. Because i wouldn't have the surgery.

But i had signed a DNR at the Cardiologist. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't that difficult to convince them.

I don't have a DNR anywhere else. Just the cardiologist.

I don't want heart surgery. I wss born with a cognitive defect.

Its the part that pumps the deoxygenated blood. The "impure" blood. The aorta is called Pisces in one diagram.

Pisces symbol is a fish. Christians use a fish to represent Jesus.

Baby there ain't no Jesus. That's a bad story.

You gotta change your ways. We can't be forgiven. We gotta be the best we can.

I was born knowing the system of Jesus was broken and I've had to take medicine nearly my whole life.

We can't breathe. People always I'll rape you. I'll beat you. Jesus will forgive me. Ill kidnap today repent tomorrow.

Baby. Jesus wants to stab you to death with your his own cross. You don't even wait for Jesus to forgive. Just demand and expect it

Jesus don't want to baby.

Jesus simply won't.

As humans we can't. Maybe it wasn't my time to be born yet but if we waited it would been worse. So God said, Go on little lamb, see if you can survive.

I can't.

I don't want any surgery. Ive always said that. Its God's job to take care of my heart when no one else will.

Its not about forgiveness or me doing something bad.

Its just being able to survive on Earth. There's nothing wrong with my soul. Just our planet.

Our Planet is such bad shape. I couldn't even watch from Heaven. I couldn't take it anymore. I knee what to do.

So God takes care of my heart when no one ekse will. But he tells us that its not taken care of enough.

I, like anyone else, represent a statistical portion of the humans on Earth. And none of our hearts can bear another day.

That is my job. And so as you know i fight for all of us. For all of our hearts and all of our lives.

My heart not willing to pump unpure blood. Its not bad. Ita just a little scary for some people. Because they don't understand the difference bet5good and evil

But that is my job because my body pumps the pure blood very well. I don't want anything unpure in my heart.

I don't want anything unpure in yours. Like Pablo Escobar, i asked him to pray rightfully not righteously. I gave him many reminders.

Maybe that is why his body is still so lifelike after all these years. Idk.

But expecting God to take care of his own creation -- me, is the opposite of expecting someone else such as Jesus, a human, a peer, an equal to take care of you or to forgive you.

To forgive: an error must have occurred then understanding of what went wrong then the ability to stop making the same error and then the action of stopping all must occur before forgiveness can.

That is the only acceptable definition.

Mark thought I would be angry for hiding I would need a new valve in my heart.

I'm more angry that I need the new valve -- that he knew I would need it if a change in my life did not occur and the only thing to heal a heart is love and peace.

I wouldn't need a new valve if my heart was filled with proper love and joy. But it isn't. Its empty. Filled with only what I can manage to fill it with.

Only my daughter to help me. And she has no answers to the last 35 years of my life. Or who her father even is.

She takes heart medication, too. Mostly preventive i tell myself. But I know the signs. I know her iron deficiency and what it will do to the heart. What it has.

If I get cancer I won't take chemotherapy. It doesn't make sense. Posion the entire body to kill something inside what God made. Or what God possibly did make. I've seen chemotherapy first hand. I was 18 years old. I decided then i would never put my body through that

I would elect radiation therapy but that is all.

Chemotherapy is man made like meth

Radiation is all over this world So its more like cocaine or may be crack.

Cocaine/crack or meth? Coke thanks

For why torture a body to live a life you don't even want to be in a body for?

No one wants to live through chemotherapy -- i mean besides the obvious point of living -- but the pain akd suffering of the chemotherapy they only choose to live.

I would rather die. If God chose not to keep me alive for a weird growth then for why fight?

Why allow a monster inside my body to nearly kill my insides just to live?

That I don't understand.

I have had to take heart medication since I was 5 years old. So I have a different way of seeing things

I think people who do take chemotherapy are brave and deserve to live a good life. For their pain amd suffering. But for me. It's not something i can choose.

I decided that for myself.

For my daughter I decided I would take radiation therapy. Because it's concentrated on the certain areas the tumor is, applied through the skin and muscles not the blood stream. To help me be healthy for her.

Side effects are a sunburn. And being radioactive.

A nuclear bomb could go off tomorrow and we would all be radioactive. Its happened.

So I can handle that.

Heart surgery in a world that doesn't have enough love for me?

No thanks.

Don't even tell me

He did the right thing, telling the doctor he would do Nothing to prevent my need for a valve replacement.

It would just made me even more angry and damaged it even more. And I probably would had died.

Because what he did do, send me to a world full of clones and not protect me, not tell me the truth.

It nearly killed me. My heart stopped so many times it's why i went to the cardiologist.

He lied to me and told me he Didn't want me so i went rooting around to try to help him.

And landed in the most evil place I've ever seen.

And he was not any better, encouraged evil with Mike Andrews who did want to kill me. Knew he wanted to kill me. And he took him to my house.

But these people actually wanting to help me, he abuses them and lies to me.

Why Mark?

[deejayers]

today was so ungodly long

-all our scheduled appointments came in on time yay

-but like 6 walk ins also came. all at the same time. right when our appointments were scheduled this morning.

-vet assistant was pissy af. has been the past two days. she needs to chill her ass out.

-kennel assistant is lazy and takes no initiative and keeps wanting us in treatment to help her do her job

-receptionist is a dumbass who somehow decided the scheduled annual visit needed to be seen before the gsd that had been in labor since yesterday without producing any pups at all that the vet had told to come in and we'd see right away cause DUH

-gsd owner wants natural birth unless just not possible

-find out she bred her 73# (at the END of her pregnancy!) female to her 110-115# male and the one pup she has is just too damn big to pass no matter what we do (and we tried a lot)

-emergency c-section

-yay mom and pup live!

-realize i should have gone to lunch 30+ minutes ago, finish what needs to be done and finally go.

-get back and afternoon is slammed

-hit the ground running amd have several sick appointments. most are super fearful too

-assistant is still pissy but now asking me for advice on handling fearful animals

-does the exact OPPOSITE of what i advise then tries to argue with me. nah fuck you shut up and listen

-receptionist is still stupid and can't even get a request for medicine across properly

-send home kennel assistant cause it's closing time and she has one room to clean. we can do that.

-also send vet assistant home cause i'm tired of her shit and i don't need her at this point. me and dr can handle everything left

-surprise!! 18 yo cat with a baaaaad broken leg cause of a careless house cleaner and her kids she brought to work with her (not judging bringing her kids, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, but don't let em run loose in a clients house). cat gets euthanized. guy is crying and we totally get it

-oh hello 12 year old sweet dog with horrible melanoma on the back of your tongue and all the bits of tissue and clotted blood you keep hacking onto the floor. thank god your mama let us euth.

-realize it's a whole hour after closing and no one else is in the clinic but you and the vet and you're both just like "...U G H."

i am so tired. this week is so long. we rarely hit overtime due to careful scheduling but i'm already in overtime and still gotta work tomorrow morning.

and yeah i know so many other clinics have it so much worse but we're just a small town vet in the boonies that routinely only has one of our two vet owners on duty. we usually have a few clear hours over lunch time for surgeries and everyone to take revolving lunches. past two days we've barely been able to get lunch at all. hit the ground running first thing in the morning, don't quit til after our typical lunch time. pick up earlier than normal and keep going til after closing. extra bad cause our head tech is on vacation so we're shorthanded on an already skeleton crew. we really need to hire more people but the owners are worried we're just in some freak growth spurt and how busy we've been will quit. he doesn't want to have to let anyone go if we don't have the same level of business.

also jfc i can only handle the current combination of receptionist-vet assistant-kennel assistant for so long before i start saying things that hurt feelings. things i prolly don't need to say. i'm not a supervisor or anything but damn if I don't have way seniority and apparently more sense than all 3 of them combined

i really really miss my head tech yall. she more than earned this vacation but god she is our chaos coordinator and mama monkey for a fuckin reason and i am so exhausted from covering for her while she's out. and i wanna text her about these shits so bad but no i will not ruin her lovely trip with work idiocy! might just have to go to lunch together monday

i'm not ready for tomorrow. tomorrow is gonna be a minimum of 5.5 hours of terrible group chemistry and myself as the one (1) person who keeps any control of her considerable temper and tries to keep things going smoothly. same rec-vet asst-kennel asst combo as today plus the one part time vet who covers for our regular vets who doesn't like any of them. he likes me pretty well but his fav is of course the head tech who is also his aunt-in-law lol

[thelozzaview]

08/03/1994 LOZ WAS BORN

Sunday was the day this time it was 08/03/2020 we/ i celebrated the life i was given first i was wokenn up at 12am by my housemate for cake eating then i went straight back to be and then woke up with excitment as i do had my shower and woke up and then went off to my family birthday breakfast which i loved and before that i opened my presents and i only used them to get a photo with them on i got Solo Pro headphones and i fell inlove with them as i used them.

While the day went on Roma amd I had lunch together mum messaged me whil I was finishing my lunch then we went off birthday party shopping together and then got home in time for me to hang out with Portia my firend i havent seen in a very long time and we had icecreams together before the party started and helped me relax a bit because I am always wanting the best to come out of the party like i wanted everyone to come which some of all of them came but i did have a special guest coming because i tell my friends about this person quite a lot because i have singing lessons with her ZOE her name is.

we hitted off like sisters getting to know eachother this was our first text chat until 12am:

loz: Do you have sisters or brothers? Zoe: I hae a younger brother, he is 23 Loz: No sisters? Zoe: Nope! You’ re mine Loz: And your mine

we were the same age before i turned 26, we were born in the same year and we know each other’s mothers i dont know if thzt says to you but in eachothers lives we are sisters and we are loving it every chance to get to sing/ duet or text with each other our favourite is to duet so we can pick up on eachothers quirkyniess and that makes us laugh and mess up and we have to start again or laugh and keep singing cant wait to do that again tomorrow today is Tuesday and reflecting on my birthday party anf saying Zoe made me come alive at my birthdat party along with my other friends thanks to her.

This was my facebook post about my party to all the friends who came:

To all who came to Lauren's 26th BIRTHDAY PARTY i would love express my thank you for being the friends i would love to spend the rest of my life with.

To all the friends who are tagged let's just say that when i talk about my life to my friends when they want to know what i have been up to sonce we seen each other or hungout last and what I have been doing. You finally get to know I have been having singing lessons and that i have been taught by the best well 'the best" her name is Zoe though.

Finally made an appareance to make the the BIRTHDAY GRL THE HAPPIEST TO SCREAM AND HUG and say this is your first of many of my birthdays to be invited to and please come to my next one.

SECRET/SURPISE IS OUT  Dani Fynn and Roma (housemate) helped me with decorating the unit to bein the theme of LOZZA being herself and put that into a party and this is what is in my mind first her favoutite colour then the friends come next.😍😂🤣😘😉😜

Then i went to bed knowing i will still be buzzing about my party from Sunday forward and i still will be .

[a1town2called3hypocrisy]

Wednesday 23:55 20/11/19

Ok so this blog has been many things over the years a diary, a place to stick my random thoughts, a dream book, a bitching blog, a music blog, a photography blog and many many more.

Now starting today it's going to be a no holding back 100% account dairy of me mainly focused on looking back at this and helping me remember my past later in life.

This will be updated everyday just like 13 year old girls diary every evening I will try to include all the days main points and some of my thought processes from the day.

If you know me and you follow or end up following this blog that's fine I'm not one for secrets or being personable so I don't mind I'd ask only if you have a comment to make specifically about a post I make to make that comment to me personally before making to amyone else good or bad (all publicity is good publicity) or something like <- that.

Ok so to start I'm just going to give a rough outline of where we are at right now and some major points that I will no doubt be referencing back to in letter posts.

Mental health:

Tbh I didn't think this had changed much recently at all until I really sad back and thought about how things used to be day to day for me around the time I actually got to the extreme point of talking to a health professional about my mental state. So in January 2019 my mental health was shit I relied 100% on my friends/colleagues/family and most of my girlfriend for my happiness (that right there is in it's self unhealthy). 6 out of 7 days or basically every work day I had constant intrusive thoughts all the time my brain would just wonder, one minute I'd be happily filling the shelf the next I would have to go out back to the chiller to cry as my thought process had just gone down some random lane of self injury/my girlfriend breaking up with me or cheating on me/ a family member or close friend dieing like seriously upsetting things like ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And it's crucial to understand that I didn't think these thing would happen or that I thought they were real but I have a vivid imagination and these thought processes would just spring up and I wouldn't at first do anything and I would let this destructive depressing train of thought develop. I think this was largely due to the fact I had a job which required little intellectual thought or concentration and what I later learnt was that the more sleep deprived I was the less likely I was to shut these thought process down early on. This sometimes affected my mood for the whole day and even made me over think things in my relationship that I would never of normally given even a first thought let alone dwell on for days on end.

Thankfully I haave realised that after my change in job in February I have barely had monthly intrusive thoughts let alone daily, it took me quite while to realise this as in February I went through a break up which left me quite depressed/sad for the first 3/4 months at least of my new job but after this sadness had mainly past I have now come to realise I'm SO much happier here, amd that isn't beacuse of the people the people I met at Tesco were some of the kindest most lovely inclusive most diverse people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting it is 100% down to the fact my brain is constantly thinking now concentrating on what I'm doing or planning my day out and when I will do each important task and in what order I will do them and how could I make thos process easier/quicker/more/efficient. My brain doesn't have time to wollow in self pitty or have time to construct elaborate ideas of sadness. And when I'm not at work I'm studying or being social plus I live with one of my most dearest/closest and longest friends now who I've had the pleasure of knowing for well over a decade which is over a 1/3 of my life.

Family:

So my Nan passed away this year which saddened me greatly not only because I loved her and have fond memories of her caring for me as a child and even as I got older, but also beacuse this leaves my lovely (and I mean lovely besides my mother and my sister my favourite family member) grandfather alone in a house at 81 years old suffering from early stages of cancer all the way south in Devon. But luckly I have ma aged to see quite abit of my lovely grandfather and even hear stories I had not heard about his youth and when him and my Nan first started "courting" (which by the way sound so much more romantic and chivalrous compared to now days) which has been lovely and I'm much looking forward to seeing him for this Christmas at my mothers house (2019) I can't wait.

Love:

So surprisingly enough my thoughts on love haven't changed since my breakup early this year I still think you have to give everything communicate and try to resolve issues and compromise from time to time but also be romantic and affectionate/spontaneous keep that spark alife and most of all always remind them how truely special they are to you and try to show this as best you can. Furthermore my last relationship made me realise that I do infact really want kids, there is literally nothing more joyous than watching as a young child learns something for the first time or even more heart wrenching calls your name as one of their first words (honest to god I've never cried with happiness but the closest I've ever got is when that kid said my name the first time) or when you have desperately been trying to teach them something and they finally get it/understand or when you do something that makes them giggle and laugh over and over again (this literally has no comparison to anything I've ever felt before I could have the worst day ever have spend most the day crying see that kid for no more than an hour just playing with him and seeing the pure joy that brought him would completely change my mood) And yeah if you know me and know who I'm on about I honestly don't care that he wasn't my kid after the time I spent with him playing/watching him grow up even calming him down and putting him back to bed in the middle of the night countless times/watching him learn new thing I loved that kid.

But I'm honestly not actively trying to find love I'm not on tinder ever 5 seconds like last time I was single or on any online dating site, but at the same time I'm at the point now that if something came about I'd give it a shot. But honestly I can't be fucked with beating around the bush now I've had my fait share of it didn't work out or short term fling I want my happy ever after and a family that's where I'm at now.

I mean at this point it's well gone 1am and that covers a large part of the basics I'm happy I love my family and friends I love my job for the first time in my life and I'm pretty happy I'm not depressed or even that anxious so it's going quite well.

Anyway speak to you tomorrow.

[rnrmarineservices-blog]

BLOG: Sealine C330 to the Med – Heading south

Chilaxin and her crew carry on through the French canal network with the next river in sight

Day 20

Up early and… it's trying to rain! Typical. We head off anyway as we need to get moving. Today we are going to get as far south as we possibly can, through as many locks as possible to make up time.

We wave to a couple of the other boats as we leave Moret Sur Loing, some of whom are still tucked up in bed.

We hit the first small lock and everything is okay. We are given a remote control, which, as we approach the lock, activates it – great! We move on to the next lock amd as we approach – zap! – the light acknowledges us and soon we have a green light to enter. Awesome! This lock has quite a surge of water, which catches us out slightly. By using the bow thruster, Chilaxin is back straight and behaving.

Approaching Montargis

We had planned to get to Souppes-Sur-Loing for our night stop but, as we start going through the locks quite quickly, we feel that we will get there too soon and waste more time. We had not realised that these remote controls, which cover the whole Canal du Loing and are quite new, would save so much time!

We re-plan and think that we can get to Montargis, at the tip of the Canal de Briare. We move on, lock after lock, never seeing another boat – just lovely views and beautiful properties along the river banks. Before we know it we've arrived at Montargis, the Venice of the Gatinais.

Entering Montargis – the “Venice of the Gatinais”

In total we have completed 23 locks and 52km! We find a space at the Port de Plaisance and just as we start looking around to find out where to check-in, a van pulls up, we are given the okay and off they drive.

Once settled, we head into town to see what is on offer. We see a bar – music is playing, lots of ladies are stood outside and it looks like Salsa classes. I would like to add, at this point, we have not had a shower and 23 locks in full heat is no picnic! I decline to go in, even though Kev, not realising how smelly we were, was half way down the steps.

Heidi in Montargis town

We head on a bit further and find a nice quiet bar with seating outside. Two beers ordered, free peanuts and nibbles and the hint of Wi-Fi. I'm not moving!

The Wi-Fi is slower than dialup! Another round of beers and it's time to head back to the boat for a shower and bed. We have completed the Canal du Loing in a single day. What an achievement!

Tomorrow we are heading to Chatillon-Coligny (half way down the Canal de Briare) which is recommended in every book – and has free moorings.

Day 21

A rude awakening, after a very humid night, by the harbour master banging on the boat just before 7am. The shock on his face when he saw me was comical – my hair on end, in a small dressing gown, one eye open, the other glued shut with hay fever gunk (lucky him!) He charges €10 for the night and after a very small form has been completed off he goes.

Six locks down and we are pleased with progress. Then the VNF chap asks where we are heading. Chatillon we reply. He shakes his head – no you are not, the next two locks have been closed. Crap! His English was very good but all we got was that the lock was closed. We would have to stop in Montbouy (pronounced “mont-bwie”).

We start really well again on the canals. This canal does not have the remote control but we have a VNF person at each lock (if it is manual) or they are automatic and you gain entry from cameras watching your approach.

When inside there is a pole you lift up, which activates the lock. Not sure why people said you had to climb the ladders! If you are on your own, tie up next to the pole (there is normally a slider pole or a ladder which is just as good). The only grim bit is the activation pole, which is covered in slime!

We go past a long line of boats (some we have seen before), onto an empty jetty, I notice a small note on a board and realise that this is the hotel barge slot. We had a close call with barge on a horrid bend. Luckily we could reverse back into a turning basin. They were grateful to us going back as it would have been very tight to get by.

Squeezing under bridges has become the norm aboard Chilaxin

We leave Chilaxin to see if we can stay as we are as the next hotel barge is not due until tomorrow lunchtime. We head towards the mayors office, two lovely ladies say hello and then we start asking about the issue with the canal – do they know when the locks will be fixed?

They look puzzled as they know nothing about any closure. A few calls later and it appears that there is not an issue with the locks, but the flow of water between two locks a bit further up. As most people on this stretch of the canal have hired boats and have no real experience, they close the whole lot down for safety.

We ask about the town to see if there is a bar or restaurant so we can follow our tradition of trying a beer in every town. There is but she closes at 7pm! We head back to the boat.

A VNF lady is stood by all the boats – she is very young and speaks the most amazing English. She says that the next lock will be opened before 7pm, to allow those wanting to continue, but the VNF will not be responsible for any damage to boats that proceed.

Two boats head through – a Frenchman and an Australian (who lives in France and knows this area very well). Perfect – we move back into their places just in case we are told tomorrow that we still can't move forward. It also means we are able to get electricity and water.

We head up to the bar for quick pint, and meet the owner and her large Alsatian dog. We communicate that we would like a beer. No problem. There are a couple of young lads sat to our left and one of them speaks very good English. We all start chatting and soon enough we are way over closing time – but having a giggle!

Day 22

Over night, the water has calmed and at 9am we are given the go ahead to proceed.

We are joined by an Australian couple – Bruce and Marilyn. A lovely couple on their holidays and on the weirdest looking boat I have ever seen! They say that they will follow us and hope we will make it down to Briare for 4pm as they have to hand their boat back. That is 24 locks away going up some steep inclines.

As we get through the first lock of the day, the young girl from last night is there and says that we should be fine if we take it steady – fat chance!

Chilaxin is like a twitchy horse – she does not do slow and I have decided that she is not liking the locks, especially upstream where there is such a rush of water.

The beautiful tree-lined banks of Rogny

We head off and all we can hear behind us is Bruce's' voice – this guy is never quiet! He is perched on top of his boat and reminds us of Timothy West & Prunella Scales! He has one speed and one speed only – flat out! He bounces around, has no regard to fishermen (we give a wide berth as don't want the props wrapped in line), or anyone else.

We get to Rogny just before midday. Bruce comes flying past us shouting that the lock is closed. We panic, thinking it's another issue; we forget that France shuts down for lunch – not an issue when you have your own remote control. We moor up and have lunch. Just as we finish clearing up, the other Australian boat goes into the lock. Lets see if we can catch them up!

This is the start of the big incline – we have six locks taking us up and eight to get back down. The views are breath-taking in this area. As for the old locks well, what a masterpiece!

Two locks on and we catch them at the third. Both hire boats are low and flat so bridges are not an issue to them. For us, we are still looking at bridges, I then walk out to the bow and, if my hands touch the bridge (just), then we are okay height wise. There have been a few which are at lock entrances – and it is tight!

By the end of the day we arrive in Briare – 24 locks and god knows how many kilometres later. Dorothy, the Capitinaire at Briare, toots in her car and tells us to follow her down to our space. She speaks perfect English and is so very helpful.

The crew are used to sharing locks with local trip boats

Why is it you get not a hint of wind all day yet, when you go to berth up, gusts arrive to knock you about? We end up next to a lovely English couple, Ron & Myra, who have their own boat and travel the inland waterways six months of the year. It is now 6.30pm on Friday night so we decide to have a shower and then eat out.

As soon as we mention this, we are told that the bars close at 7.30pm (who says that the French have a night time living?!). We head out and find the bar in the square. We end up being the only two there but it is nice and we have a view of the church too.

Well earned beers in Briare

We then look for restaurants, none of which are cheap! We go to one and see the first boat that we were following (the Australians) having dinner so we pop over and say hi.

A lovely meal later, with a nice glass of red, and we head back to the boat. It's going to be another sticky night; tomorrow we will not be going anywhere.

Day 23

The heat was just too much yesterday – I felt like I was melting the whole time! Today is not much better but Kev sets off to clean Chilaxin. She is covered in sap, flies and crud from the locks. We are not allowed to use hoses so he sets about with (limited water in) a bucket and a microfibre cloth.

Me on the other hand… off to do the “dobbie”. Yep, last night I tracked down the laundrette so today the bedsheets and all our clothes will be clean again!

Kev has now decided to go into town to get bread and milk. Two hours later (and a 2km walk in 28 degrees), he now has stretched arms from carrying beers, salad, vegetables, cans of Coke, cakes and biscuits – and of course the bread and milk he set out for!

Clouds gather over Briare

The skies are turning black and I am hoping the storm, that keeps being promised, is nearly upon us.

Tomorrow we set off again and head onto our third canal – Canal Lateral a la Loire. This one only has 35 locks in total and is 200km in length. By the time we get to the end (hopefully 3-4 days), we will be halfway through our journey in distance.

There will be one more canal after this and then we hit the rivers again – which I know Chilaxin will be looking forward to as she will be able to go that bit quicker again and be out of this murky brown water.

Day 24

What an amazing start to the day heading over the Briare Aqueduct! We headed across early to make sure we had no hold ups. Unfortunately, this meant that we left in the rain but that was not a major issue.

We carried on to our third canal of the journey – the Canal Lateral a La Loire. Very peaceful, passing lots of boat hire premisses. We saw the two boats moored up (that we had been joined by the other day) which the Australians had been on.

We carried on until midday, when the locks are closed for the VNF people to have their lunch (still not used to planning this in our day).

Heading over the stunning aqueduct at Briare

As we moored up, we thought we would walk up to the lock and see what was coming. Next minute, we have another Australian chatting to us. They are in the hire boat opposite us and his steering has given up. They are waiting for assistance. He is going the same way as us, yet, at present, he is facing the wrong way!

We watch the next couple of boats coming towards us (more hire boats). I head out to advise them that the lock is closed for lunch when the first one hits the bank!

We try not to get involved but, after a few minutes, we know that they are in trouble so Kev goes over to give them a hand and to try and get them tied up until the lock opens. A very grateful holiday maker and they'd like to follow us to our day's stop so that we can share wine – how very nice!

Three get into the lock. Chilaxin (with her nose right against the lock, which I am very un happy about!), the couple we helped off the bank, and then a German couple in their holiday boat.

It's a squeeze but everyone is helping out, including the lovely VNF guy. He can see the panic on my face at being so close to the lock gate and promises me that he will fill the water very slowly.

The crew beg for a shower to break the heatwave

It looks like we will have more storms tonight. We are in a tiny little village, which is very pretty and it's a free stop (including water and electricity). They also have a small supermarket a few hundred meters away, which will be open tomorrow. I will head off first thing, before we attempt 30nm and 13 locks. We're not sure where we will stop but will be aiming for Marseilles-Let-Aubigny.

Day 25

Beffes – we stopped just short of Marseilles-Let-Aubigny. Mainly due to some very obnoxious people on a holiday barge, whom where all very drunk and getting far too close to the back of Chilaxin! So much so that, if we reached out, we would have touched their boat! We also over heard that this was where they were heading.

In the books it said that there was a nice little holt but no electricity or water. We decided that we would have a look and, to our surprise, Beffes has had a major overhaul. Proper pontoons plus water and power for €6 per night – bargain!

Chilaxin alongside in Beffes

Time to check out what Beffes has to offer. On the main roundabout there is a bakery, a small – but very good – supermarket, a tabac and café and a restaurant. What more did we need?

We had a very quiet evening and cleaned down the boat for the first time in ages with no-one to tell us off about the water. God it felt great to see her looking white again without all the tree sap, bugs and canal grime. Everywhere we have stopped, people come and admire Chilaxin saying that she must be very new even though she is now 15 months old.

As we head along the canals, all the cyclists ring bells and wave and, if up close to the roads, the lorries and cars all toot their horns.

Day 26

Having had a nice quiet stay in Beffes, we headed on to Fleury. First we had to head through a double lock and cross a viaduct. As we approached the double locks, and just before lunch for the lock keepers, we decided to stop and give us time to work out how this lock worked. Just as well we did… it is massive! I ended up having to use a ladder as my main stay on this lock. This would be a test for us.

As it turned out it was not too bad. Half an hour later we were through and heading across the aqueduct – just stunning. As we arrived at Fleury we thought we had made a bit of a mistake. The snack shack that is mentioned was there but there were a couple of long gazebos and it all looked a little shabby.

Kev inspects the next lock

We checked the power worked and then walked up to the shack where we met the owner who had several beers on offer at €1.50 for a large – perfect! Several beers later and the others we have met along the canal start arriving. We manoeuvre boats so that everyone will get in and now it's time for dinner. Another boat pasta night ahead and cooking again for our new friends who weren't so enamoured with the shack's menu.

Just as I'm getting everything cooking nicely… no gas! How have we gone through more gas in the past few weeks than all of last season? Well, if you're only cooking at weekends it will go further! We steal the gas our pals and use what we need quickly, before getting it back on their boat and secured again. What a nightmare!

Another early night is wanted as the locks do take it out of you, especially when we are averaging 15-24 a day! We are doing well. Sleep is not to come for me. The little shack is popular – not just with the few little boats but obviously the place to be! Cars keep arriving and more people but finally at 2am they all go home and I can get some shuteye.

I must say though that, as I was up and looking skyward, I have not seen stars so clear since I was in the Isles of Scilly a few years ago. Totally breath-taking.

Next Decize to Blanzy

This article BLOG: Sealine C330 to the Med – Heading south appeared first on Motor Boat & Yachting.

[ziatechgq1-blog]

Ubuntu 17.04 audit: Don't call it abandonware, as such In fact, Ubuntu 17.10 is coming—yet how much advancement will go into a dead desktop?.

Last month, it at long last happened. Six years after its tumultuous change from GNOME 2 to the homegrown Unity desktop, Canonical declared it was deserting chip away at Unity. Going ahead, the organization will switch the default Ubuntu desktop back to GNOME starting with one year from now's 18.04 LTS discharge. This implies Canonical is likewise relinquishing the improvement of the Mir show server and its brought together interface of Ubuntu for telephones and tablets. The organization's vision of "merging," as Canonical organizer Mark Shuttleworth named it, has formally died.Shuttleworth posted that news only a couple days before Ubuntu 17.04 arrived, which took a lot of twist out of the sails for this refresh to Canonical's lead Unity-based Linux desktop. To be reasonable, notwithstanding, the last few Ubuntu desktop discharges haven't had much twist in their sails to begin with. There have been a couple include updates and some work on getting more breakthrough GNOME and GTK components, yet all things considered they've been support discharges.

While Ubuntu 17.04 offers a couple of new elements, bug fixes, and upgrades over its ancestor, it qualifies as a critical discharge since it will probably be the last form of Unity that Canonical boats. Actually Ubuntu 17.10 will come not long from now, however it appears to be far-fetched the organization will put much exertion into building up a desktop it is relinquishing.

Truth be told, Ubuntu's twice-yearly refresh plan has of late felt more like a weight the organization needs to manage while the genuine work of building Unity 8 occurred in the middle. Furthermore, however Unity 8 did for sure look encouraging, lamentably it's not something that portable transporters and telephone producers appeared to need. As Shuttleworth wrote in his declaration, "what the Unity 8 group has conveyed so far is delightful, usable, and strong, however I regard that business sectors, and group, eventually choose which items develop and which disappear."So Unity 8 is going the method for the Dodo, which leaves the Unity-based default adaptation of Ubuntu 17.04 as a sort of living fossil. The Ubuntu GNOME venture will be the default arrival of Ubuntu this time one year from now.

Saying this doesn't imply that that 17.04 is abandonware. Furthermore, it will live on in the Universe repos for anybody who'd get a kick out of the chance to keep utilizing it. So in case you're attached to the Unity interface, there's no compelling reason to freeze at this time. There have as of now been stirrings of a group around it that might want to proceed with improvement. Regardless of the possibility that there are only two or three individuals settling bugs and keeping the lights on, you ought to have the capacity to get a decent five more years as a Unity diehard. (Standard is focused on keeping up it for the five-year discharge cycle of 16.04, which endures until April of 2021.)

What makes Shuttleworth's declaration somewhat odd is that Unity 7 is an exceptionally develop and stable desktop. Why not stay with Unity 7? Why move to GNOME? The appropriate response appears to lie in how Canonical is assigning assets. Authoritative wouldn't like to utilize a multitude of software engineers to keep Unity 7 secure and enhancing when the GNOME venture is accessible for nothing with a multitude of developers not paid by Canonical keeping up and enhancing it.

That implies the eventual fate of Ubuntu, then, looks a considerable measure like the fate of, well, some other distro that utilizations GNOME as a matter of course. That is a touch of baffling, particularly on the off chance that you (like me) happened to truly need a Ubuntu telephone. Then again, I have affectionate recollections of pre-Unity Ubuntu... which, obviously, additionally utilized a pretty much stock variant of GNOME.

It's likewise important that there are a few other 'buntu enhances out there for any individual who wouldn't like to utilize GNOME, and I've as of late investigated two of them—Ubuntu MATE and Xubuntu. In any case, when it comes time to test this most recent discharge, it's troublesome if not difficult to assess Ubuntu 17.04 without at the same time contemplating the eventual fate of Ubuntu and GNOME, as well.

Ubuntu 17.04

There's something else entirely to a distro than its default desktop, and Ubuntu 17.04 is no special case. There's a considerable amount of new stuff in this discharge, yet conceivably the best news is that Ubuntu is presently utilizing Linux piece 4.10. That implies your Kaby Lake processors are completely bolstered (as are AMD Ryzen chips for the individuals who adore pulling for the underdog). There's additionally some support for NVIDIA's Tegra P1 and a few enhancements to the open source NVIDIA (Nouveau) drivers.Another enormous change that a great many people will never at any point notice is that Ubuntu 17.04 changed from a swap parcel to a swap record. You could see some speed upgrades from that in a few circumstances, and it makes your swap parcel pointless, which spares a stage in the establishment procedure. The special case here is Btrfs, which does not bolster swap records. In case you're utilizing Btrfs, you'll have to decide on manual dividing and make a swap parcel yourself.

Additionally worth saying is Ubuntu 17.04's support for the new "driverless" printers. These printers utilize the IPP Everywhere and Apple AirPrint conventions, and associating them to your Ubuntu desktop ought to be, in Canonical's words, "as simple as interfacing a USB stick" (I don't have a printer to test with).

This discharge likewise observes the standard slew of use updates for Ubuntu's stock applications. Little person based applications have for the most part been refreshed to GNOME 3.24, however there are a couple that wait at more established adaptations (Terminal and Nautilus for instance).

Updates to Unity 7 incorporate... all things considered, nothing truly. Solidarity is dead, long live GNOME.Ubuntu GNOME 17.04

Soon after Shuttleworth declared that Unity 8 and backups were dead and that Ubuntu was coming back to a stock GNOME desktop, the Ubuntu GNOME group posted a note saying that "there will at no time in the future be a different GNOME kind of Ubuntu." Instead the advancement groups from both Ubuntu GNOME and Ubuntu Desktop will blend. The "enhance" itself will be converged into mainline Ubuntu, and, beginning with 17.10, in the event that you refresh Ubuntu GNOME you'll really be sideways-refreshing to simply Ubuntu.

Shuttleworth's declaration says that Ubuntu will make negligible customizations to the GNOME interface, and, since the Ubuntu GNOME extend as of now makes not very many customizations, it appears to be sensible to expect that today's Ubuntu GNOME is not very far away tomorrow's Ubuntu.Ubuntu GNOME 17.04 utilizations GNOME 3.24, having jumped more than 3.22 from 3.20. There's a considerable amount of new stuff in this discharge, incorporating an inherent new element called Night Light, which naturally changes your screen shading to diminish the blue light produced by your screen during the evening. Night Light is GNOME's rendition of RedShift or f.lux, be that as it may, in light of the fact that it was produced by GNOME, it really works with Wayland, though the others don't. As somebody who invests the vast majority of their energy before a screen around evening time, this is reason enough for me to change to GNOME. What's more, I'm upbeat to report that it just works.

Little person's Calendar application gets a greatly asked for Week see with this discharge, however regardless it needs bolster for a more extensive scope of logbooks (in the event that you utilize Google Calendar it works fine, everything else has brought on me issues).

Like the Unity desktop, the Ubuntu GNOME devs have stayed with more seasoned forms of some applications, including Terminal, Nautilus (both at GNOME 3.20 renditions), and Evolution, which stays (for security, say the discharge notes) at the GNOME 3.22 adaptation.

One thing that is not leaving with Unity 8 is Snap bundles. A "snap" bundle is intended to work crosswise over distros and is as of now broadly bolstered (Canonical says 10 distros bolster Snaps as of this composition). Snaps offer sandboxing for enhanced security and snappier updates (since they come coordinate from the designer, instead of through the bundle supervisor). Since there can never be only one variant of something in the Linux world, there are additionally Flatpaks. Generally the same as Snaps (however they contrast impressively in execution), Flatpaks are additionally cross-distro, and bolster for them in GNOME Software has enhanced a considerable amount in this discharge, and support is introduced naturally. So with Ubuntu GNOME you can without much of a stretch introduce both Snaps and Flatpaks.The Software application (still at GNOME 3.22) additionally now bolsters introducing GNOME Shell augmentations, which, in case you're wanting to duplicate the experience of Unity 7 in GNOME, will need to figure out how to love.

Ubuntu GNOME does not send with the full supplement of GNOME applications, and I would anticipate that Ubuntu will take after this since applications like Brasero, Evolution, and Seahorse are of constrained group of onlookers now. The main conceivable special case is Evolution, since Thunderbird misses the mark in a few situations. Each of the three applications are obviously accessible for introduce by means of the Software application. In like manner there are a few new GNOME applications that aren't introduced naturally—like the fresh out of the box new GNOME Recipes application and GNOME Games—yet they are in the repos on the off chance that you might want to give them a shot (Recipes is still unpleasant around the edges).GNOME for Unity Refugees

Things being what they are, you like Unity however you need to stay with what Canonical uses as a matter of course? That implies you'll be changing to GNOME 3. Solidarity depended on and utilizes many segments straight out of GNOME, so dislike you're jumping into a radical new world, at the same time, all things considered, there are things you will miss, things you'll have to work around, and a few things you may like better.Let's begin with the last part. As far as I can tell, on my testing equipment, which comprises of a Lenovo x240 and a Dell Precision 7520, GNOME Shell is speedier than Unity, especially for normal errands like ringing the pursuit interface, additionally in different territories like propelling applications and dragging windows. Nor is the thing that I would call moderate, however with Unity I now and again see a half-second delay before a movement begins, which I never see with GNOME.

[lex141818-blog]

Just A Nerd Pt. 3

*Y/N POV at lunch*

Classes passed by and next thing I know, I’m in lunch. I went and looked for a seat. I spotted Jungkook sitting by himself and sat by him “Jungkookie!!” I smiled at him. He looked up and smiled at me. He was about to say something to me when this girl walked up to our table. “Jungkook, right?” She looked at him. She was tall because of her high heels. She had long hair and green eyes. “Yes?” Jungkook looked at the girl skeptic. She handed him a note and walked away shaking her hips extra. Jungkook rolled his eyes and I laughed. He opened the note and threw it on the table shaking his head. I picked it up and read it ‘I saw what you did this morning. I didn’t know you had it in you. Call me xxx Jessica ;)’ I immediately started laughing. “Looks like someone’s got a crush on you.” “Never in a million years. She’s been with everyone in this school. I don’t want that.” He shook his head. “Well I’m glad then.” I smiled. It’s good he actually had standards unlike the rest of the guys here. I felt something reading that note. Maybe jealousy? “Hey, Y/N?” I broke out of my thoughts. “Yes, Jungkook?” “D-do you want to hang out today?” I was about to say yes but then I remembered “I’d love to Jungkook, but I promised my brother I’d go somewhere with him. Maybe we can tomorrow?” “Definitely.”

*Time skip*

I got home after school and changed. Even though I just moved here, my brother has been living here awhile. He’s in a band and they sing and everything. I wanted to meet his members and he just kept saying soon. Well it’s about time. I got ready and made sure I looked nice. I wanted to make a good first impression and who knows. Maybe I’ll meet someone… haha probably not. “Yah! Y/N you ready!?” “Oppa!!!” I ran downstairs to my brother and gave him a hug. “I never see you anymore!” I hit his arm. “I’m sorry Y/N. It’s been hard. Training has been intense and I can’t learn the dances very well…” haha me and my brother aren’t very good dancers but at least he can sing. I won’t even mention my singing. All I’ll say is yikes. “Let’s go meet the boys Y/N.” I ran out and saw how slow he was following me. “Yah! Jin oppa let’s go!! I wanna meet your friends!” He just chuckled and jogged to the car.

*more time skips*

We finally arrived at my brother’s practice studio. On the way, he explained how many members there were and different roles. We never got a chance to cover names. We stood behind a door and he told me to wait. I secretly listened though. “Okay guys I brought a surprise. I want everyone to behave and be respectful to her-” “Does our Jin have a girlfriend!?” I heard a voice scream. “No! I told you guys about my sister. I said I’d bring her to meet you guys. Did you forget!?” I heard Jin yelling. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I started laughing at my angry brother. I could just imagine his face being red like a tomato as he yells. Finally he opened the door and brought me in. I saw 5 other boys standing in front of me. I thought be said there were 6 not including him. “Guys, this is my sister Y/N. Be nice and don’t try anything. You know I’m protective of her so don’t get any ideas!” Jin locked eyes with every boy in the room. I looked at them and two looked odly familiar. I was about to question them when one of the boys stepped up. “Hello, Y/N. My name is Namjoon.” He bowed slightly and I returned his bow. “I’m your hope!! I’m Hoseok but you can call me J Hope or Hobi!!” He had the biggest smile on his face and bowed. I laughed smiling too and bowing. “Suga wake up!!” One of the boys was laying on the floor but jumped up as soon as Jin yelled at him. “Sorry. My name is Yoongi but call me Suga.” He apologized and bowed. I giggled a bit and bowed. These boys seem really cool. “Hi I’m Jimin. You can either call me Jimin or Chim Chim.” Then I felt someone covering my eyes. “Psst” they whispered, “You look very familiar but.. I’M TAEHYUNG BUT CALL ME V!!!” He suddenly yelled. I died laughing and so did everyone else. “I was going to say, you and Jimin seem familiar to me.” I looked at them. “Wait. Weren’t you that gi-” “Sorry I’m late guys!” Someone ran in cutting Jimin off. That voice… I turned around. “Jungkook!?” He looked at me eyes wide “Y/N!?” “V!!” V yelled making me laugh while other members shook their heads. “What are you doing here?” We said at the same time. “Wait you two know eachother?” Jin asked. I looked at the boys and saw all of them confused and two with faces of realization. “We are at the same school and have classes together. We’re pretty good friends actually.” Jungkook said looking at Jin. “She’s the friend I was telling you about. But hyung, how do you know her?” Jungkook asked. Jin grabbed my arm and said, "she is my sister." Jin’s eyes suddenly widened in realization “Yah! Those were my clothes weren’t they!?” We all laughed again as Jungkook realized it to amd hoe silly thry both looked. I think I’m going to get along well with these boys.