#which wont ever change

[oneshortlove]

Haven't spoken in a minute, but I still love you

[biohazard-inevitable]

Hair

They say that hair holds stories, that the style is what makes a man.

They say long locks make you a pansy and a real man should have it short lest they be mistaken for a girl.

Where I grew up, every man buzzed their hair down.

It was a shame for it to be long and shaggy, and mothers would fuss over you, insisting upon a haircut.

For girls, it was fine.

They could have hair as long as they wanted or as short as they needed, so long as it wasnt buzzed as short as a man’s.

Being anything else just wasn’t a thing round these parts where churches chimed every sunday, pastors clammoring around resturants and filling their quotas in a single lunch.

So I buzzed mine.

I tried as hard as I could to seem as manly as possible

To appear as bull of a brute as any cowboy should.

I wore all the boy things and had all the short boy hair.

My scalp was sensitive anyways, so I thought it didn’t bother me.

It was better shorter.

Wasnt it?

I still gazed and clammored about the anime boys I saw on screen or in Otome games though.

I gushed about how pretty they were with hair down their backs like a silken curtain, or whipping wild through the air like the mane of a lion.

Legolas was never deemed as not manly enough

Beither was Zen or inuyasha or the undertaker.

A crush, I supposed.

Because of course thats all it was.

I was a gay little boy with gay little crushes and my type was men with long, Beautiful hair.

Right?

My hair was a dull, discolored brown from the shimmering blonde it used to be, the blonde I remember from kindergarten.

I tried to return to that blonde with bleach.

My school didnt allow unnatural colors, so anything was better than that matted, oily brown.

Shaved short and as platinum as a ken doll, I should have been as man as ever.

4 years, I stayed like that, and while the short hair was easy to take care of, I felt as hideous as a pile of sludge.

It didnt matter if I was loved for my looks, I supposed.

Wouldn’t that be too vain of me?

Boys weren’t supposed to care about what they looked like, they werent supposed to coo and admire Beautiful hair or seethe in jealousy that their sister looked so much better and has such long, goregous hair.

It wasn’t until after high school that I began to explore.

Covid let me grow my hair out more, though I still trimmed the sides.

I let my bangs grow long and shaggy over my face, like a veil to hide me from the world.

Eventually I dyed it again, this time going with that green I had always wanted to try, the one I had seen on my favorite youtuber growing up, fluffy and emerald.

Still, for years more, I kept it short. Only allowing that fringe to hover over me as some sort of style.

Recently though, I’ve realized I want that hair that those anime men had.

I want that soft curtain rolling down my back like waves of an ebony river, flecks of mossy green dotting it like a miasma of toxin flowing through the oily black stream.

I want the hair like the ring girl

The people around me are foolish and prudent to think the length of ones hair makes you more or less of a man.

I know that now, and I’m glad I do.

I want to stop pretending not to like things

[wild-at-mind]

Transition timeline:

1. Make sure all my blood tests for HRT got done properly (they miss some off sometimes apparently)

2. Appointment to start hormones mid august

3. Once that ball's rolling in a no turning back type way, come out at work and stop using my old name at work (1 billion log ins will need to be changed)

4. Change name by deed poll and finish the rest of the name changes (bank etc)

5. One day get a GRC so my fucking doctor will make the changes I requested on my record.

[blue-eli]

Realised it’s @khoc-week so even though I don’t have the energy to do it daily have this I did a while ago but never posted.

Arxeht my beloved. They came to me in a dream where I was a replica (of multiple people but looked most like Vidar) made by apprentice Nort/Xemnas, who was the fifteenth member of the organisation and also had my knowledge of hit video games Kingdom Hearts and kept getting randomly thrown through space and time.

[bunnihearted]

🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

[robotsafari]

a mind palace’s (unasked for) renovations [DO NOT TAG AS SHIP]

bonus under the cut:

white mushroom more like “butlershroom.”

anyway. yep! my headcanon is that the mushroom series of heartless were essentially like early versions of ansem. experiments to see if creating a heartless with a will of its own were even possible. (the mushrooms just wanna play charades and go on nice walks! they wont steal your heart because their instincts tell em’ to! they’ll only snatch it if they feel like it <3) how can you make an “immortal” successor if they cant even understand the research you left for them? so thats why they were created!

[skunkes]

funny thing is that genuinely canonically talon is bi with an immense preference for women to the point where he cant really imagine any long term stuff with a man... but since ive whisked him away to the brain zone its like ok but what if he was safe and happy with another guyyy and meeeeee 🫶

[superbellsubways]

holding onto the same ocs for years and years changing up their lore and everything with time is always wild. theres Secret Lore nobody i talk to knows about.

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[schrodingers-catgirl]

vent in tags

[autism-corner]

erm

[mbat]

i fr need some sort of (probably queer) friend into world of warcraft so that the person i directly talk to about it isnt my brother. cause on my life his opinions suck and his gameplay kills me a little inside

[martyrbat]

batman secret files: clownhunter

(ID in alt!)

[meoproject]

I'm a bit lost as to what I want to do with the narrative of "Something Borrowed" (that's the "official" name of the fantasy story Beriith & Val are from I'm working on, the tag is "#project:a fantasy setting" because im bad at naming my projects)

Right now I'm kinda working on it as a series of (random order) vignettes (and pictures with lore dumps on), and it kinda works for me because I get to work on the scenes I wanna work on and not have to worry about 5 months of work I'd have to do to get to the scene I wanna work on.

But I would also like if there was like. A real linear narrative. And I think that would be easier for potential readers as well. Not that readers are my main priority (sorry this is my comfort project and very, very, very self-indulgent) but I like sharing my work and when I do, I generally want my stories to be at least somewhat accessible.

I'm not at the stage where I can seriously start any huge project just yet; I'm supposed to be graduating by the end of the year, so I have several large school related things, one of which is my thesis, coming up. So for the time being I will focus on making vignettes or other short and/or sketchy comics anyway.

[rainc0at]

I LOVE THIS FUCKIJG FILM SO MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECT

[alligaytorswamp]

baizhu is like a healer and dendro support.. and i want him in my "main" team... but like... i do main kaeya and ningguan THIS SHIT NEVER MADE SENSE MY MAINS WERE ALWAYS A BROKEN DISASTER AND BAIZHU DOESN'T FIT INTO THAT EVEN HARDER HELP