#i mean i probably shouldve taken it to begin with but

[poohwhin]

me: “yo i haven’t taken this medicine in years, soooooo thats gonna make my tsh levels be too low??”

mom and doctor: “nah fam, take it.”

them after the lab work comes in: “ITS TOO LOW?!?!”

me: “WTF DID I TELL YOU THEN??”

[cogmented]

hiiii i saw ur tags on my post!! i know nothing about breaking mc but i understand ur excitement completely!! i have no idea what they did but im so excited to find out!! this team is so cool they have cool abilities AND cool lore AND cool dynamics AND a cool aesthetic!! thwy make me INSANE. hope u dont mind me dropping this in ur ask box i just need to ramble about them somewhere

YOU R SO OKAY !!!! i loveeee what is going on rn

ermmm spoilers and wht not!

like WHAT !?!!? there is so much more of a crazy element to breaking da game than im used to, especially when used in the context of a pvp heavy turned lore (more so circumstance and event) based server like it ACTUALLY COMES INTO CONFLICT RAHH we r usually just a bunch of gamers sitting around in little test servers (i was more so an in-game code guy rather than an exploit guy, im basing all my inner technical knowledge on what my friends r thinking from the context ive shown them)

im SOOO interested in how the characters play out here, like with the tyrant groupchat and some of the key players in there (pangi, reddoons, planet, SPEPTICLE !?) and how THEY were the ones supposedly getting big power

i think planet knows a lot more about what's going on than what vitalasy thinks (i have a theory that planet's trust barrier was given by spoke, maybe it couldve been given by vitalasy to more so keep him quiet? but ive been brain rotting over a planet and spoke team up so im mad biased) and spoke is much more of a leaker than i thought! he is definitely one of the least secretive members about all dis and whatnot, but his ideals are geared towards fun fun for every1 (himself)

also vi is showing phase 2 rn this is going to be FUCKING INSANE ! im soo sosoooososososo exited omhgg kicking my legs laying on my stomach twirling my hair and drawing hearts and stars around the word exploit in glitter gel pen and giggling

this has been SUCH an interesting season im still stunned by stream viewers who say s3 was the best but maybe im a nerd whatavar whatavar ....

i am going to rant and you are going to listen to me >_( hahahahaha muahhahaha but s4 has been so new and interesting from the START. those two main groups forming at the village and the outpost and their outliers was the domino effect of extremes. im on red's side here when he said that that was the main catalyst for WHY duality duo went to the lengths they did, and how THAT, the moment subz stepped into the end to see the main island completely wiped was SUCH a crucial moment to the rest of s4 development

that was the known start. that's what, to everyone else, was the beginning of consequence

but now, there's the added factor of the plan before s4, but these extremes were needed to make a reason to use these exploits in an interesting way. yeah okay, leviathan is not a threat anymore. TO US THOUGH!!!! ONLY TO US!!! because we know everything, we know what's going on and leviathan has NO IDEA what they're in for, but what does terrain, leo, ANYONE ELSE think about them? Are they scared? probably !

but seeing this as a viewer.... a watcher haha of everything we KNOW a FRACTION of how much danger everyone is in. we dont know to WHAT EXTENT !!!!! HOLY MYSTERY !!!!! im so so so excited to see how they use this

we saw how jepex and mapic and spoke used it in jepex's latest video, but they have MORE INFORMATION SINCE THEN !!! AND INFORMATION THEY DIDNT REVEAL !!!! vitalasy is SO FUCKIGN AWESOME. SOOO COOL.

it has gotten so intertwined and complicated and layered i shouldve taken notes because im sure my memory has been warped and whatavar but WOW. RAHHHH. it's not JUST exploits. it's been zam's paranoia and terrain's frog plotline and anguish and medusa and the prison and and and no end and then no end^2 and all the teams and the betrayal and hate and the flowers and dandelions and the sun moon and stars and chaos and destruction and meaning and trust and love and care and and and

i go crazy on a friday evening i dont know i love lifesteal lots and lots

[bunkernine]

this is the smallest thing, but i wish leo hadn't taken the magic dishes from chb. it means that the seven probably doesn't cook for each other. they just take out a plate and voila! a four course meal and you don't even have to get up

anyway, i mention this because cooking together or eating food at a table together is such a great bonding experience for a group. there's nothing like the banging of fists on the table chanting DINNER! DINNER! DINNER! or the mindless anticipation of being hungry and waiting for the meal to stew. it would've been interesting if they actually did have days where each of the seven cook: like, the absolute joy when percy flips a pancake and they all slowly walk in yawning, or when it's annabeth's day and she never learned to cook so they all look at each other and gulp.

there's just. a moment where they could've came back all tired and sweaty from a battle and there's the smell of a warm meal in the air, and coach walks around in a lacey KISS PUNCH THE CHEF apron, stirring a pot, while each demigod collapses in their chair, with their stomachs growling. or like a moment where they argue over dish duty and leo snarks "i think we should wash our own crap," and it cuts to him muttering about being stuck on dish duty and he shouldve installed a dish washer. or like frank trying to figure out a recipe and piper gets curious, but they're both rich and never cooked their own food so its useless. hazel talking about spices and swapping southern foods with leo. annabeth thinking a sandwich is good for every single meal. heck, maybe even that moment where nico has his first meal that isn't pomegranate seeds, and the seven is sitting there with him at a table, laughing and yelling, and a familiar cinnamon of Sally's Apple Pie is beginning to spread

idk if any of that makes sense, but i guess food and family go hand in hand in my mind, and it's the very minute detail, but you know. let them cook i guess. sometimes magic isn't everything. its just... the little things

[gaygraybles]

every adult in danville seems totally on board with phineas and ferbs chaos so how has absolutely nobody taken a single picture that has gotten to their mother, we see that canonically if linda had called the authorities on day one the boys would have been locked away in childproof suits and creativity outlawed and doof would rise to power and all that, but later in the summer there are swarms of adults who see and participate in the mayhem, so why does their opinion suddenly change to such a radical degree if their mom finds out? i mean its one thing to go “oh your mom didnt know about this? that changes my feelings about YOU doing it” but it shouldnt really change their feelings about the IT being done, yknow? like if they cared that much they probably shouldve thought at the beginning “hey those kids shouldnt be on that rollercoaster that was built by a couple ten year olds, IM going to call the authorities”

[readymades2002]

its a little more complicated than that i guess. it's not entirely because of me. he hasn't been socialized well and it got worse after joe died and after moving into an apartment and it is kind of important to socialize your dog in these places but we never did that. my mom made attempts but she works a lot and to be honest he is an intimidating dog so it is in fact our fault for not doing that. we shouldn't have had him to begin with and we certainly shouldn't have taken him here and we did not get a lot of say in either decision (joe got him and joe died before separating into a new household with the dog but that would've been bad and maybe worse for the dog so) but ended up here anyway

he's very edgy around people but my mom says she's made improvement with him (before this, obviously) and i dont know how much of that is optimism and how much is sincere because he and i get along badly. im edgy around people and we feed off each other. i don't think he'd be as aggressive if it wasn't for me. he's worse because of me and i'm not strong enough to handle it and so. um.

mom contacted a behavior specialist but i don't know if it will matter because he is scary and everyone is scared of him except us and going "well he's a sweet dog to US and when he's not SURPRISED by people he doesn't bite them he’s just loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (that was what happened, someone hopped the fence with him while i was taking him out and i was at the top of a slippery hill with bad grip so he got startled and took off for them and i couldn't stop him, her mom was more pissed than she was but that's obviously justified, a dog bit her daughter, and while her daughter was trying to be cool about it and wasted her precious energy AFTER BEING BIT trying to tell me it was fine and she'd had worse and here are some tips for reeling your dog back in but like. it obviously hurt and she shouldn't have had to bother) because like. he is a sweet dog to us. he is so sweet and cuddly it is annoying at times. but like. we live around so many people and keep him isolated out of fear and its clearly not good for anyone. i mean its like. i dont blame anyone wanting him put down i guess is the point, i understand, i think they are objectively correct and even if by some fucking miracle he goes through behavioral training and improves it still shouldve happened sooner and didnt because of time/money not allowing it and frankly without those things we shouldn't have kept him with us and only did because. he is a dog our dead dad gave us five and a half years ago and we got attached lol. so

its like. um. it felt like this was going to end up happening eventually and its entirely our fault (and my fault for making him even worse around even the idea of people) and im just uh. you know. you know. i keep thinking he wouldn't have done this if my mom had taken him, and she asked before i took him out if she should, and i said no because taking the dogs out is one of the only fucking things im good for and im not even good at it and, in fact, BAD because it directly led to someone getting hurt and a dog probably being killed, and now the only responsibility anyone will trust me with is haunted by "if i had just taken him out instead this wouldn't have happened" and its like instead of puttingthe dog down i think they should have me put down since i won't do it myself because im spineless and it's better for everyone that way. that i dont play like i can be around people or do things when it leads to this.

um. i don't know. i don't know what to say about it really. i mean i did talk anyway but it's like. entirely our fault and my fault and if he does get put down which i really should just say he is because i don't really see a way out of this then it's the safer thing to do and besides that we cannot fucking get evicted so. im just dealing with it i guess. the consequences. im not used to thinking anything is real in that way so its um. teehee. im really fucking upset with myself, is essentially, kind of where im at, no matter what else goes into it i really wish id just. done anything else.literally anything else

[shouldibesleeping]

My opinion on BNA! (Brand New Animal) Part 1!

Cons + minorly mentioned and talked about pros

To begin I mean ABSOLUTELY NO HARM to anyone who likes this series, in fact I also rather enjoyed watching it! It was a wonderfully animated and and SO SO beautiful! The issues and highlights i’m going to talk about in this post following more around story, some character points, and Nazuna.

Story Issues:

Why the fuck does the finale of the first season consist of a deity battle with howling? glitter?? lasers??? Because lord be dammed I was lead to believe that it was about the two different species of beast men and human being different yet so similar.

Obviously because you can’t even really put them on the same ground considering that even MAYOR ROSE admitted that beastmen and humans aren’t even in the same spectrum??? That beastmen came as a path from other animals and humans from you know that evolution crap. Hell, take for instance the pick pocket who obviously came from monkeys, it proves that we aren’t in the same path or time line of starting because we also came from monkeys.

It shows that we aren’t the same but that we’re both absolute shit. Just guys and gals moving on with their lives trying to get by. Both species have terrorists after all, they both have theifs, they both have their curropt class who don’t care, which is probably why people didn’t consider the stress of it. Of putting animals who have little to almost nothing to do with eachother together and expecting them to get along.

It sets apart and yet pulls together both ideas, it shows that just like people they can change and that just like people they have their select few who aren’t the best of the bunch. But ALSO shows that they aren’t the same, people viewing beastmen as pure animal (Ninas episode) or monsters like in the first episode. Throughout the series with Shirou having also shown that many beastmen view all humans as curropt and cruel.

It could’ve in fact been about how the world needs to change and that they CAN go-exist with more understanding on both ends. Because even in the beginning Michiru by Shirous words “talked like a human” viewing beastmen on a different or too similar spectrum. Bridging the gap as she shows that while they’re similar aren’t the same.

That people SHOULDVE been taking into account that they, the beastmen, are still technically both, that beastmen have their issues as a whole but are also still growing. And they should’ve also taken into account animal instincts and separation.

That beastmen should’ve thought about how humans can still be kind even despite the way they are treated. To understand that like with eachother they’re going to be hurt but that they should try.

It could’ve even gone political but still enjoyable like with “That Time I Reincarnated as a Slime!” but didn’t. Which was personally an issue because it forced the ideas of the silver wolf and religion and deity’s into everything all while the idea could’ve still lived and could have been about shirous change from his own views and understanding. (Which of course is addressed and sort of changed but only ever subtly and kind’ve abruptly near the end) Ect.

Character (more specifically Nazuna)

Gonna be honest.

Nazuna was an absolute train wreck for me. She seemed pushy and almost (read: basically) toxic, constantly bringing michiru down and constantly enforcing the ideas that she was the one being expectant and cruel. It was so aggravating to watch because michiru KEPT GOING BACK TO HER

It came to even a point where I just wanted SO BADLY for michiru to just stop talking to the girl and give up already. Because of course one second she’s calling her pushy for thinking that she would stay the same and then the next basically acting as though she did stay the same reminiscing and shit.

So again incredibly toxic and rather frankly she never even apologized. Jumping from believing michiru to completely shutting her down and almost acting as though she were better and worthier than michiru even though the information she was looking through had INVOLVED MICHIRU just as heavily. And Nazuna almost even having caused the chaos before she again sided and listened to michiru after having told her to stay out of her business less than a week prior. It was insane and aggravating.

Of course Nazuna gets better in a way but it’s snappy and switches constantly, all from being cold, friendly, cruel, nostalgic, and all over the place.

Shirou being the true symbol of peace also dragging in a rather large factor that could’ve played into the story just as well without the major villain reveal and fight. A story like this involving and needing something along the lines of, again “That time I reincarnated into a slime!”

Of course the idea of the series not even something that belongs to trigger but still could’ve been used as inspiration. Perhaps michiru climbing ranks as a repesentative among other ideas from fan works and comments which were presented.

Overall?

While I talked mostly about the bad the rest of the characters were amazing and more specifically michiru was lovely, in fact I rarely really enjoy main characters and opt more for the side boys and girls (I.e shinsou, kaminari, itona,) but fell in line with both her and Shirou. Props to the concept artists and character designs! (I believe it was Genice?) in fact I rather enjoyed the whole series Th e first turn I watched it. It was lovely and just a breath of straight forward air, beacons obviously fill in the obvious twists, obvious characters, Ect.

I LOVED watching it and even now I think it’s beautiful and maybe I have shit taste or something but it was exciting and kept me busy and happy for a while and still does! I would not hesitate to re watch it over and over again!

Of course I still stand by much of what I had said and do think that it could’ve been better I still enjoyed and hope for another season. (More posts about random little tidbits and theories I DID have before I watched all of it.)

Overall 6/10 (many points to their separate characters and art and dynamics and basic concepts less so for the put together would recommend just generally, and I’m sorry I sounded rather rude I just kinda really went into it)

[katzuyas]

blood drips from the fingers of the hand that suddenly rips through the flesh of the man who was bout to cut yuuri’s head off with one clean swing of his sword, and yuuri can’t exactly say he minds this sudden development. there is a clean hole in the man’s chest when he’s discarded to the side like a piece of insignificant dust, but yuuri’s too busy gazing at the one who saved him to look closer at all the gore.

because before him stands the most handsome man he’s ever seen.

it’s part admiration, part disgust that stirs in yuuri’s belly as he watches the man lift his bloodied hand to his lips and suck his fingers clean. something very disturbing seems to be happening before his very eyes, and yet... and yet, yuuri feels himself bewitched to the point of staying there and watching.

“did I scare you?” the man asks, licking his hand clean much like a cat. a hell cat. one of those feral beasts that feast on rotten flesh and--

“um,” yuuri swallows. “no?”

he’s risking it, he thinks, but when he considers it closer, it’s not really a lie that he gives in reply. he’s only partially scared. everyone would be after someone tried to kill them, and yuuri’s fear stems from that alone, it looks like. 

“oh?” the man cocks his head to the side. he looks at yuuri with bright blue eyes, which shine like gems and steal yuuri’s breath altogether. “so you aren’t scared of me?”

“should I be?” yuuri asks back, wondering where he gets the audacity to question a being who can rip through a human with enough ease as he just witnessed.

maybe it’s his close brush with death that’s given him the courage, or maybe it’s another feeling -- one of premonition of what’s to come -- that tells him his adventure into the land of the dead might not yet be far off, but yuuri finds strength in his limbs and lightness in his heart, so he stands.

and he looks the man in the eyes with no fear. “are you going to hurt me?”

the man seems to be as surprised at yuuri’s question as yuuri is at his own daring.

“hurt you? no!” he shakes his head and his silver hair flits about like spiderwebs on a light morning breeze. “why would you even think that? I’d never hurt you.”

“well,” yuuri clears his throat, looking to where the corpse of the man who tried to take his life has yet to chill. “that might have something to do with my question, but... if you aren’t here to hurt me... and you just saved me... then, how-- I mean, who are you? and why did you help me?”

the little breath that escapes from the man’s lips is much more hushed than a gasp. much more... disappointed, yuuri decides when he sees the crestfallen look on the man’s face.

“you don’t know,” comes the reply, and yuuri frowns.

of course he doesn’t? how could he--

“you called for me.”

“what?” yuuri blinks, surprised. “no, I didn’t. I would’ve known if--”

“but you did,” the man insists. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. you called me, or, well, your soul did? when humans come close to death their souls resonate, you see, and some of you have the strength to call one of us.”

humans, yuuri’s mind repeats as it reels. one of us.

“who... who are you?” he repeats through trembling lips.

the man’s smile is a slow thing, and it’s beautiful. it’s beautiful, but all of his handsome face is. it’s in his eyes that the beauty ends, or maybe, maybe that’s where it truly begins, because his blue gaze glows with power that is darker than any yuuri has seen.

he shivers when the man steps up to him, almost jumps in unease when he kneels. yuuri’s hand is taken and brought up to those smiling lips. there’s blood stains on his skin now, too, from the leftovers of his almost-killer, and yuuri’s stomach turns when he feels a kiss pressed to the inner part of his wrist -- right where his pulse flutters like a bird trapped in a cage against its will.

“I am nothing but your loyal dog, my liege,” the man whispers.

his warm breath settles in the palm of yuuri’s hand, distracting, but not distracting enough.

“my what?” yuuri asks. his voice comes out broken, so he clears his throat, and says again: “I don’t understand. how...?”

“you called upon me,” the man explains. “and I answered your call. I am now yours to command until the day you inevitably die.”

“but I didn’t,” yuuri insists, this time harder. he shakes his head. “I couldn’t have.”

“whyever not?”

the man peers up at him. he looks so perfectly poised while he continues to kneel at yuuri’s feet that yuuri trembles within himself from how beautiful it makes him. he knows he shouldn’t, but... he was already set to die tonight and he didn’t. so maybe luck was on his side, after all. maybe... maybe enough of it to let him get away with even more.

he slips his hand away from the light grasp and bows over until he can take the man’s face in his hands and set their foreheads together in faux gentleness. and he knows it instantly when the man realizes the change in the atmosphere around them, for those brilliant blue eyes widen in surprise that is heavily meshed with awe -- the awe that somehow makes yuuri feel powerful, more so than usual.

powerful, and stupid.

it’s that feeling that makes his brown eyes glow red, and it’s that feeling, too, which has him give the silky whisper of truth that only sparse few have ever heard:

“because I have no soul to call you.”

the man’s breath comes fast and hard, but he hears the truth in yuuri’s words, sees it in his inhuman eyes. gently, he turns his head towards the corpse of what must have been his intended master, the one that called him and the one he should’ve served, and yuuri lets him. he lets go.

“oh dear,” the man says, yet his voice does not indicate much upset about the way things have turned out. “I guess... I made a mistake? now that is no fun. I will need to head back to hell then...”

he stands up, but... he doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry. in fact, he looks as if he wishes for a reason to stay. something to keep him here...

“before you go,” yuuri says before he thinks twice about it. “thank you for saving me. I would have died if he succeeded, so whatever trouble you’re in because of that, I feel like I should help you. so if you, well, that is, there is little I can do, but if you need a place to stay or to lie low for a while--”

“really?” the man blinks, and then breaks out into a smile so dazzling that yuuri feels the urge to shield his eyes. “could I stay with you then? I’m in no hurry to return, honestly. it’s so... dreary down there, you know.”

“but won’t you be in trouble if you don’t, I don’t know, report this? at least?”

the man shrugs. “they probably already know. besides, I’m glad I did what I did. I’d rather serve you than that pile of--”

“you don’t even know me,” yuuri tells him, a little amused, but mostly just too surprised at the turn of events to be fearful.

“but I’d like to know you,” the man replies easily. as easily as he slides up to him. as easily as he takes yuuri’s hand again, and as easily as he wraps his arm around yuuri’s waist almost in a parody of a dancing stance. “I’d very much like to know you... all of you.”

blood rushes to yuuri’s cheeks like it never has before, but even though the night is dark, he’s sure that this man can see it. he’s standing so close that he must, and yuuri knows it when he takes in the smile on his lips: a quirked, playful little thing that brings even more heat to yuuri’s face.

“how can I make a decision like that if you refuse to answer any of my questions,” yuuri says, but his protest is a feeble one. he already knows that he will not be able to resist this man’s charms. not now, not ever, most likely.

“then ask again, and I shall give you whatever it is you wish for.”

the man brings yuuri’s hand to his lips again, but this time he chooses to rest a kiss on yuuri’s knuckles instead of his wrist. if possible, it seems even more intimate than before, and yuuri’s heart beats double inside his chest.

“your name first,” he asks, unable to lift his eyes from where the man holds his hand in a grasp that is far gentler than yuuri would imagine. “and, who are you?”

“victor,” the man breathes. “my name is victor. and I’m a hellhound who answers the call of a human soul ready for eternal damnation. but, for you, I will be whoever you wish me to be--”

yuuri shakes his head as he looks up, right into his eyes. “no. you are who you are, and you will be who you decide to be. I have no right to change that, or ask it of you.”

victor’s surprise is clear, surely he hasn’t expected this. something in yuuri softens at the sight and it’s that same something that chooses to rest his trust in this man -- in victor -- whom he only just met, but whom he feels like he was supposed to meet all along.

“I’m yuuri,” yuuri says, and smiles when victor’s eyes meet his again. “yuuri of the katsuki clan. and I’m a vessel of the the squid god of hasetsu bay. my soul has already been claimed, but, with what little of myself there is left, I am pleased to make your acquaintance, victor.”

“oh, I assure you, yuuri,” victor chirps, sweet and playful, “the pleasure is all mine.”

he kisses yuuri’s hand again, yet this time his lips linger on yuuri’s skin just a bit longer while silver eyelashes flutter as victor closes his eyes. he breathes in deep, which makes yuuri flush all over again.

he quickly realizes why victor has done it, though. he’s a hellhound. he must have been familiarizing himself with yuuri’s scent, so that he could recognize it among the many others. and yet, once he figures it out, yuuri’s blush doesn’t go away. it only deepens, and deepens still when victor peers up at him with a gaze that is far more smitten than yuuri could ever hope it to be.

“you... um,” he bites his tongue from how fast he wants to speak, and needs to look away as embarrassment churns in his throat. yet, looking away from victor is harder than anything he’d ever done, and yuuri soon finds himself glancing his way again. “you said,” he tries again, “you said that you’d like to stay here, yes? if you still do, then my parents have an inn not far from here. we all live there, so if you--”

“I’d be honoured,” victor confesses, voice and eyes soft.

and yuuri, as he leads him by the hand which victor refuses to let go of, cannot deny that his heart feels oddly soft as well.

he was meant to die this night, but instead he has found himself with this strange man, who makes him feel strange things, and strangest of all? he has found himself trusting him, caring for him, and... before the cherry blossoms sprout their petals as spring takes her first steps, he finds himself loving him -- a hellhound from hell, who appeared in his life bloody, and who made all the blood in yuuri’s body run that much faster.

a hellhoud, a man, who showed him that even without a soul life has enough to offer to live, to love, and to be loved.

the hellhound, the man, whom yuuri has given what little of his was left to give: his heart.

[chaostwofold]

1-41 on the asks? Also gn

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

Morning glories!! not only are they already my favorite flower, theyre extremely toxic and mean unconditional love! i have a tendency to fall for the wrong people and not realize until after,, BUT thats only half and half!! some people i loved unconditionally and contine to love them and others set me back in the recovery process,,

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Begonias id assume? not only are hanahaki flowers supposed to represent your feelings, they should also represent the person. begonias are known for misfortune, dark/unpleasant thoughts, and caution to new situations. on the flip side, its harmonious communications, understanding, and gratitude.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

hm. well, what about the urchin whos actually a prince? someone who originates from grand places, a great misfortune turns them into something undesirable and possibly bitter, and then when theyre brought back to the light of stability they provide for those who are in the same situation as he was

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit

im long range magic tactics and healing always bc im too afraid of conflict :pensive: but the closest thing would probably be something flexible but strong, in black and the more sensitive areas like the neck and thighs covered more carefully (read: shadowhunter gear)

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

change on an emotional and mental plane. they would sacrifice those who refuse to change for the better. i determine what is better, and if they choose the wrong person to sacrifice they would pay depending on why they attempted to sacrifice someone who didnt deserve it.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

“there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence... a person may have one without the other.” is an all time favorite from my favorite book The Soulforge by Margret Weis!!!!!!!

“plant your trees and watch them grow.” OUGH

 “There is a thin semantic line separating the weird and the beautiful. and that line is covered in jellyfish.” NIGHTVALE

“Ive been good sir / so very very good for what? / and ive given you / every single thing ive got / its feeling strange man / this whole arrangement / is gonna end with / me totally deranged” From Disobedient, from su:tm!!! it slaps man

“ What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?” Ah. billie eilish ily

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythe! the weapon of fate and peace,, it is used to reap the souls of those deemed to die and its used for harvesting crops!! the end of all thngs, its a graceful and symbolical weapon.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Vaniila, star anise, and clary sage

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

leather bound books!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

a cyclone, probably. something threatening on the outside but extremely calm on the inside.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

amaryllis, which is splendid beauty and worth beyond beauty

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

cinnamon in tea!!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

apt in the city

14. curtains of beads or lace?

bead curtains!!! retro AND can be like “hoohoo welcome to my brewery pick your literal poison im a witch”

15. vocal or instrumental music?

yall know i could never pick,, music is too much of an intimate thing too be taken lightly (whch is one of the reasons i have a burning hatred for jokey nursery rhymes like baby shark)

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

SOBS okay so. ough it depends man. i rlly like the idea of like. ponchos and shawls n stuff,,, id prolly go for a witch in the woods ngl (the prince REPRESENTS me the best but. witch of the dark woods is my aesthetic) so prolly like a heavy green shawl over a black shirt and jeans and combat boots or smth,,, i WOULD have a flower crown of poisonous flowers, yes

Changeling or shapeshifter definitely!! to be able to constantly change form in super mecore

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

fruit preserves

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

you all knew it was gonna happen ( its a mountain laurel!! poisonous. of course)

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

my hair is WAY too short for that but i used to do it when i had longer hair and its a definite yay

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

an evening in the forest with elves or a morning in the garden with fae!! i cant decide man,,, if it had been a night in a victorian castle w vamps i wouldve been tied w that too but caves are a dwarven thing

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. maybe like. a true self thing? where im forced to say what i mean, i cant say sorry for things im not sorry for, i have to say when things make me uncomfy, i just become less timid (the witch who cursed me got pissed off bc i said sorry too much and didnt answer questions properly)

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

talking with sylphs prolly??? i dunno man ive always loved sylphs ngl

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

def mint

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

what childhood lmao (honestly?? i loved reading the grim fairytales just over and over)

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

uhhh one time i was accused of witchcraft bc i was “guessing” peoples fav colours at a christian summer camp and our supervisors asked me to stop bc it was freaking them out bc im not christian (i had them close their eyes, think of their colour, and i would see it bc id close my eyes) OH also one time luke spoiled some pl stuff bc he was thinking abt the spoiler too loudly

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

oh healing def!! i already know a bunch of native poisonous plants so itll b fine

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

only two chances for everyone, and then i cut them off entirely

cringe culture is dead. the only cringy people are assholes

hurt luke youre dead

29. vials or mason jars?

no. no. you CANNOT make me pick. its illegal

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

uh! moss green, its a onepiece thats baggy and tied with a golden decorative rope at the waist and tightened at the ankles!! its loose at the sleeves and the shoulders are showing whereas the neck is turtled!! there are designs showing black mambas and lilies of the valley (poisonous...). the mask is black and covers my right eye, with subtle smooth scales on it.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

BOTH are p mean uh. i said sylphs earlier so ig ill go mermaids??? plus im afraid of heights

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

as the royal magician/wizard/witch/alchemist/magic jester? calling the royal family out on their bullshit

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

they would be black owls wings!!! (if you meant pixies, like tinkerbell, you shouldve said pixies fam :pensive:)

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

deaths cloak or a truth charm to get people to tell me, you guessed it, the truth

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

a song about grim ends ad new beginnings.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

royalty! so i can fuck shit up from the inside

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

field of flowers or marketplace!! seeing the things people create and natural beauty and solitude are both wonderful

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

a modest one with a very dark palette, with my eyes painted a gleaming golden.

39. what skill are you famous for?

i talk rlly fast

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

im not sure,, 

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

FAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTS

[ghoulstars]

im only posting this bc i desperately need to exorcise this thought somewhere bc it wont fucking leave me alone

those of you who know me personally or follow my instagram know about this but for those of you who dont: in a horrible turn of events, our plan to put down our geriatric yellow labrador retriever dixie was unfortunately and unexpectedly doubled today to having to put down our 3 year old engam bulldog, bean, as well

when we got him in mid december, 2015 he was barely out of puppyhood, we found him wandering around near the highway at our local gas station with a collar and no tag, trying to jump into two out-of-towner girls’ car. my stepdad intervened bc they couldnt take bean with them obviously, and brought him home instead.

we put up lost dog flyers everywhere all over our very small city, in an attempt to maybe see if someone would indeed come forward for their dog. we knew he wasnt just a stray because of his collar.

almost right off the bat, we were told by a woman who worked at the gas station that there was a man who lived in the trailer park just across the road, located behind the pancake diner. you can see it from the gas station parking lot. she told us that he had a lot of dogs that he typically kept chained up outside in poor conditions, and beat them regularly. to us? it seemed totally reasonable that that must’ve been where bean came from, given the fact he was a dog and we found him literally less than 50 feet away from where this fucking man lived.

no one came forward to claim bean. we kept those flyers up for months, we only put them up to begin with knowing he may have been thrown out by (or escaped from) this disgusting man just because there was the possibility that it wasn’t his dog, but someone else’s. as well as the potential for legal intervention if this fabled abuser found out we had technically stolen his dog (and full disclosure, fuck him for what he does, i hope all his dogs get stolen like they need to be, i myself was not fond of the idea of just giving the dog back to this creep if he was indeed the owner but i was only 16 at the time so there wasnt much i could do)

with no one claiming bean, after those months passed, we decided that he was ours now. flyers were taken down, we gave him his collar and nametag, to be real he’d already been named by us in the first few days we had him. he was going to be ours no matter what; my mother always told me its a rule that if you name a stray, and do it quick before anyone can object to keeping it, it’s yours now. that’s your pet, with it’s new name.

so we carried on with our lives, now having not just one dog, but two. it was a bit iffy with my stepfather keeping bean since we didnt technically need to manage two dogs at the time, but we still did it anyways because we loved him, the little bean man.

but here’s where my problem lies and this is why im writing this now: as time went on and we continued to have bean as our pet, some stuff about the original suggestion that he belonged to an abusive older man who lived in close proximity to where we found bean wasnt adding up

due to dixie’s failing body, she would sometimes lose control of her bowels inside the house, which was becoming unacceptable when she stayed in overnight. so, she stayed outside. she and bean bonded, so they stayed outside together too. (and for clarity here, i know what some of you might want to say, but we knew very early on that bulldogs do not do well with heat or isolation. we also know that dixie probably shouldve been put down years ago, but here’s the trouble: my stepfather would not let us euthanize her. she is his dog technically, and the thought hurt him so much that he would not agree to it for YEARS. dixie and bean were too attached to separate them for long periods of time like they would be if we kept bean inside mostly and her outside mostly; that would’ve been cruel in its own special way. we put pools out for bean and visited with both dogs for as much as we could outside, bathed them, put fans out for them in the summer. our only option to give bean the main love and care he needed was, and of course we had other reasons to do this, to put dixie down, which was where we thought we were finally going to be by tomorrow, but thats not what happened, as you can tell)

as to be expected, bean sometimes found his way inside, mostly by applying his american bulldog traits to memorizing when unfamiliar guests would come over and bolt in the house. he did this enough times and very recently we were letting him stay inside instead of taking him back out, and all of these experiences combined, we noticed something: bean was housebroken. he was out of practice with it, and did not know very well how to communicate that he needed to go outside to use the bathroom, but he did know what to do. he would run to the door if he had to go, not always making it, but still, he was housebroken. he only marked furniture once while inside, in his entire lifespan thus far. that was a red flag to us, but especially my mother, who realized this skill of beans directly contradicted the statement that he was probably kept outside, chained up, starved, and beaten by the trailer park guy. not to mention, bean came to us in nearly perfect condition to begin with, just skinny. no patches of fur gone, he was the opposite of skittish and aggressive, no bruises, nothing. just a loving, bouncy, stupid bulldog mix

this, im not sure if im correct about this, but it stands out enough to me that i feel its worth mentioning: bean is not a mutt of any kind, and his breed contradicts those types of breeds most people who abuse animals come to own; usually large breeds, breeds inaccurately known for aggression, and breeds used by abusers to make aggressive bc they know the fighting power of these dogs (pitbulls, american bulldogs, etc). bean is an engam bulldog (english/american mix), which is a very obscure mixed breed dog to begin with and especially obscure where i live, and as we all know english bulldogs are short, stout, fat little things that can basically do no harm whatsoever. they also have a history of inbreeding to look how they do. i know this man may have just seen ‘bulldog’ and snagged him thinking he’d be aggressive, but that does not sit right with me for two other reasons: bean’s conformation (body structure) and coloration. there is nothing about bean that suggests he was bred to be used for fighting, or that he’s a true mutt, or anything of the sort. his body type literally resembles that of show dogs, and his fur coloration is highly unusual because he’s blue. obviously not literally blue but the type of blue-grey you can find in animals, typically seen in cats. bean’s coloration is almost NEVER found in ANY breed of bulldog, it is INCREDIBLY rare that he looks like this. his condition in which we found him, his housebrokenness, his color and his body formation lead, in me and my family’s opinion, to an alternative opinion: he belonged to someone that got him because they wanted a dog as a pet, not to beat, and they either bred him themselves or bought him (probably from a pet store or breeder) for his color and conformation. 

but why would they dump a dog this valuable? my mom said this to me earlier, sobbing after she returned from the vet today, and this is my whole reason for writing this insane fucking novel of a post: whoever dumped bean threw out a sick puppy, and on purpose.

bean hasnt been injured or contracted an unvaccinated illness or anything like that. he had been experiencing extreme stomach distension for the past month, whereas he was losing weight everywhere else on his body. he had also been vomiting. but he wasnt depressed, or lethargic. maybe his personality was a little off but not so much it was horribly noticeable, and at that, he was still eating regularly everyday. we came to the conclusion he had parasites, though ive always been terrified something more serious was going on (i dont get listened to though).

as it turns out, i was right. mom took him in today, the day before dixie was set to be put down, for his deworming pills. what she got instead was a diagnosis of possible lung cancer. his blood work was normal, which is unusual in animals with cancer, but he still had nodules on his lungs that highly resembled cancer. his heart was also severely enlarged due to heartworms, and his stomach was so distended because it was full of fluid and blood. they did send his blood off for labs, but even if his lungs were fine, he was going to die anyway (they got a second opinion from another practice and they also agree it was probably cancerous). he has a 15% survival rate for only the very first heartworm treatment, which will cost $500. nothing lives very long with an enlarged heart to begin with. we don’t have that money, and for a treatment that will definitely kill him? i dont even know why he has so much blood and fluid in his digestive tract. bean, a dog who is only 3 or 4 years old, has an enlarged heart, lung tumors and fluid/blood all in his abdomen. the vet was apparently stunned that a dog this young could have this many potentially (and one definitely) fatal health problem(s).

i now fully believe that whoever owned him before knew he had all these issues, or that he was going to develop them. i think it makes sense. i also think they’re cheap, cruel fucks who didnt want to shell out that much money to take care of him, or pay to take him to a shelter/sanctuary, and so what did they do? they did what many people these days very regularly do when their new pet has become undesirable: they fucking dumped him on the side of the road and booked it. took his nametag off and everything, to make him look like a stray. they left him for some well meaning, animal loving family like mine to find him, not know anything about these preexisting health issues, and assume he’s healthy enough; maybe just needs a few more vaccinations and a worm and flea treatment. he showed no signs of lung cancer or heart problems in all his life up until this past month, and he’s still so young. i will even go as far as to say that he himself may be severely inbred, which could be the cause of these health issues. given his specific posture and color, and that he’s a bulldog, it’d make sense. it seems like he came from some kind of breeder to begin with anyway.

so now that ive said that and got it all out of the way, i want to leave an open letter to the hypothetical cunt that did this to us and bean:

i hope god fucking strikes you down where you stand. i hope every single day of your miserable fucking life, you think about where he ended up, if he’s still alive, if anyone found him, if he ever got hit by a car or died alone of cancer and heart failure in a field somewhere. i hope you feel guilt for leaving him knowing he’d develop cancer and that he had heart worms, and knowing you did it BECAUSE of that. i hope you never fucking forget about the fact that you threw an INNOCENT LITTLE PUPPY out on the highway because you just didnt want to have anything to do with his illnesses, and i hope one day you find out what you did to us and this innocent little boy. he’s such a good fucking dog, he is so patient, kind, loving and gentle, and when he has bursts of energy to play he fucking goes, and now he has to die barely halfway through his lifespan because of your fucking negligence. he is laying outside on the porch right now, uncomfortable with fluids and blood backing up his intestines, coughing and huffing just to try and breathe. at the very least, if he were taken to the right shelter, he couldve been fucking cared for and given treatments to extend his life as much as possible, or at least given hospice care for however long he could live, which has now been shortened to 3 or 4 years. if you yourself knew this dog was inbred or you inbred him yourself, fuck you. i hope you get run over by a fucking truck. this breed can live from 12-16 years, that’s a LONG time for a dog like him, and you had to fucking ruin it all because of your own fucking preferences; you wanted the perfect dog. and you could’ve had him if you’d grown a fucking heart and actually gave a shit about animals beyond how they look aesthetically; as well, if you fucking actually gave a shit about your animals HEALTH and wanted to maintain it instead of apparently assuming he’d just be fine and healthy with all his vaccinations and that’d be the end of it. you do not deserve to own an animal if you dont even want to acknowledge it will sometimes need medical care, how fucking heartless are you? we never had enough money to take care of dixie’s failing health, and we always knew it’d be better to put her down, but my stepdad kept refusing. you had enough money to fucking breed or buy a blue show-quality engam bulldog and you still wouldnt fucking care for him after you found out what problems he had. fuck you. eat shit and die. i hope you never find peace from the guilt of knowing you fucking killed what became our dog because you’re selfish. my mother is physically sick with grief. i am physically sick with grief. i feel so bad that it’s as if i have the fucking flu. i was trying to talk with my mother about this situation earlier and i had to rush to leave because i felt like i was about to throw up if i didnt. everyone in this house has cried so much today it’s disgusting. 

the only thing good about this is that bean came along for dixie when she needed him most, and became her helper and provider, giving her company and being a literal post to lean on for when she couldnt see where she was going. they’re going over the rainbow bridge tomorrow morning together, and in a way, this is probably the best outcome. at least bean wont have to grieve. dixie can see her old companion again (who died from a ruptured tumor in 2014) and bean can meet him, and they can all play and be together in that field in the sky. 

my family will never have another dog again because of this pain this has caused us.

[ariesbilly]

how would season 2 of riverdale look like if you were writing it? (also please don't hold back on the word count for this ask)

everyones gay. the end.

no ok i will try and go for a realistic version of what i think season 2 could have been. i mean personally i think its realistic to have all the parents be gay but whatever. (*edit from future briana. lol i aint make this shit realistic everybody G A Y) also this is probably gonna be all over the place cuz i have a lot of problems with a lot of characters story arcs so just...we’ll see what happens. also also this is obviously focusing on the parents im sure the kids will get mentioned at some point in regards to certain storylines but for the most part i dont watch them so i dont know what the fuck theyre doing unless it pertains to an adult. ok here we go (i hope you know what you asked for by saying dont hold back on word count...)

lets just get the obvious out of the way FRED AND FP WOULD HAVE SO MANY FUCKING SCENES IF I WAS RUNNING SHIT LIKE THEYD PROBABLY BECOME THE MAIN CHARACTERS SUCK A DICK ITS THE SHOW I DESERVE I DONT CARE WHAT YALL WANT

like from season 1 i had this vision of how i wanted s2 to play out

fp was gonna find out fred was shot, alice was gonna go visit him in jail about it or theyd meet up when he got out and they were gonna team up to avenge fred. thats what shouldve happened ok fight me. THE ONLY APPROPRIATE F*LICE INTERACTION

and then fp was gonna take care of fred. they were gonna work on their relationship. shit was gonna get dramatic but it was gonna be beautiful because ultimately they would realize theyre both the best friends each other ever had and they were better together than apart. 

and thats how the whole black hood thing would be dealt with and we never had to hear about it again

and then with the introduction of hiram and everything going down with the lodges buying freds company + fps dealings with hiram and hermione in the past and the bad blood there that was just...completely dropped... fred and fp were gonna come up with this master plan to screw over hiram and get the company back and then theyd go back to working construction together and happy days would be on the horizon. 

with that being said.... hiram and hermiones storyline this season is honestly the only interesting worthwhile thing. im not mad at it

im a little mad at archie joining the mafia like for one, anyone who knows anything about mob culture, you dont let outsiders in. and if you do, its not that fucking easy. its like “run some errands for me let me put you through some tests. ok youre family” no. i mean i get we’re on the cw but this was really the ...not even pg13 this was some g rated mob shit on archies part but whatever

lets hop on over to the coopers

i called from the beginning that chic was gonna be up to some bullshit and the narrative thats going right now with hal being painted as the bad guy and running off to penelope and alice running into fps arms is absolute utter Garbage™

what SHOULDVE happened (and granted the story is still playing out but lochlyns got a new show and thats very sus to me so... im expecting the worst) is chic comes in all innocent at first and maybe hals still put off, reasonably so, but this clearly means a lot to alice so he sticks it out. and as chic lets his freak out and the family has to deal with this, they grow closer and become more bonded and alice and hal become stronger as a couple and when all is said and done they eventually decide to go to couples counseling or family counseling and everybody works out their bullshit and they all start their journey to becoming a stable fucking family unit

ok now penelope. she’s another one that im actually for the most part enjoying her story but this whole hal business?? unrealistic

what they needed to do was just let her have her ho business and live her life

and also tell cheryl to stop running her mouth

like i really dont need them to have a great relationship personally like fine if they did whatever but cheryl kinda annoys me so penelope telling her whats up is no skin off my back

oh and this whole homophobic business? NOT IN MY SEASON 2

or if they really wanted to keep this contrived ass heather story to give cheryl some depth or whatever, then the least that could happen is it be revealed that penelope is gay herself and was scorned by an ex lover (alice) and was taking it out on her daughter

and then that could come to light and they talk about it and penelope eventually accepts she’s gay and she can be open about it now and she goes on to get herself a beautiful rich powerful girlfriend and my girl pen is set bitch !!! (i will also only accept alice and hal breaking up if alice too comes out and ends up with penelope)

somebody was coming out of my version of s2 gay i mean listen i could also write you a thing about how fp and fred could still get together ...

YOU KNOW WHAT LETS FUCKING TALK ABOUT HOW FP AND FRED COULD GET TOGETHER WHY THE FUCK NOT ITS MY SEASON 2 IMMA DO WHAT I WANT  ITS 20GAYTEEN

fps been spending all this time around fred nursing him back to health after the shooting

and theyve been able to work out all their unresolved bullshit

plus them teaming up to take hiram down

theyve been spending many a cold winter night together

old flames are rekindling 

they both notice they each keep finding little reasons to touch one another

theyre stealing glances when they think the other one isnt paying attention

they start to notice how fucking happy theyve been together theyve both become so playful and intimate with one another

theyre at pops one night having milkshakes

fred has whipped cream on his face

fps trying to tell him where but fred keeps missing it

theyre both laughing

fp reaches over and swipes his thumb softly over the corner of freds mouth

their laughter starts to die down as they both realize theres still this spark of electricity between them

its been sitting there under the surface this whole time waiting to blow up

next thing they know fps leaning over the table to kiss fred 

its soft and sweet and gentle but filled with such passion and urning its been so long since anyones touched them like this and god all the memories of their secret high school hookups come flooding back its like no time at all has passed they just fit together so well

ANYWAY now that fps with fred and this whole north v south thing is going on its creating a whole bunch of tension and like imagine all the drama that would come from the leader of the serpents dating riverdale mayor fred andrews oh my god ??? sign me the absolute fuck up where is THAT iconic storyline

speaking of fred

where the fuck is that pill addiction huh??? we gotta throw that in for drama ok i NEED. IT.

and then mary gets called into town and fp mary and archie are coming together to get fred through this. holding a fucking INTERVENTION ??? 

alice can show up too why not

bring hal

hermione maybe? like i know in her heart she probably cares but maybe dont have your ex gf who is also a mob boss show up at your intervention....

although that would make for a good fp x hermione showdown

hermiones invited

what else do we need....

i need alice and hermione

i dont know in what capacity i just know i need it

we definitely need a moms night out episode which would be hilarious because it just ends with alice and penelope making out and hermione and mary making out and sierra is facetiming tom like “please come pick me up”

speaking of sierra i dont mind this storyline with tom i just wish we could..actually see it...

OH I ALMOST FORGOT SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT HOW DARE I! I NEED FP RAISING HIS SERPENT KIDS !!!! AND MY S2 INCLUDES JOAQUIN OK I MISS HIM JUST GIVE ME FP TRYING TO HERD JOAQUIN AND FANGS AND TONI AND SWEET PEA AND I GUESS JUGHEAD CAN COME ALONG TOO SINCE HES ACTUALLY FPS SON... WHATEVER

god i just want fp and fred having date night down at the whyte wyrm and tonis pestering them about sharing stories from high school and how they fell in love and she wants to hear all the hot gossip and jugheads like “no gross i dont want to hear this”but joaquin an fangs and sweet pea are ENTHRALLED like they wanna hear everything too they wanna know about all the stupid shit fred and fp used to do to land in detention

OH OH AND THEN WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE THING WITH PENELOPE AND CHERYL HAVING A HEART TO HEART ABOUT PENELOPE BEING IN LOVE WITH ALICE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WE GET PARALLELS OF THEM AND CHONI

i told yall this shit was gonna be all over the place

hell maybe even gladys played by neve campbell would show up at one point so fp can see his fucking daughter thatd be neat

and gladys and fp decide to end things for good and go through with the divorce but its amicable and theyre friends. she could move back to riverdale but then im thinking of jellybean having to be taken out of school... so maybe they stay in toledo but gladys and fp come up with a plan for holidays and summer vacation and its all just very pleasant ok. 

if we want to go with the tragic heterosexual version of riverdale, i fully support gladys and fp getting back together btw its what god wants

but so long as we’re living in my lala fantasy land.... fp ends up with fred and gladys and fp call truce

alice and fp would be F R I E N D S

no ones hiding no dead bodies

no ones making weird inappropriate comments about leaving spouses

alice is not going serpent!alice on everyone

no

gross

get out of my face

theyre friends and they banter a lot but theres still a deep PLATONIC love there for each other

ok i think i covered everything i wanted.....

am i delusional?

maybe

but is my version more fun?

absolutely

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

Ok I wanna talk about a dream

I have this... Reoccuring dream... Rarely happens... Havent gotten it for a few years... Though this one was slightly different, the whole usual dream was still there... Just some other stuff was tossed in that isnt very important.

It starts around the time of WWI (weird right?) Me and usually 2 other random people (this time it was grunkle stan from gf and max from camp camp... Extra weird... Usually its girls with me)

Okay, we were taken as prisoners, hands tied and everything... Except the guards suck at tying ropes so we can easily get in and out of the bonds.

Anyway, we get to this... Beautiful house... 2 or 3 stories, really fancy, white paint... Who ever owns the house is RICH.

This is the fuzzy part of the story, always fuzzy and can change slightly depending on what my dream wants to move too

Ok so me and the others use our bindings to disguise ourselves (they had put cloth over our hands before tying) this... Was rather useless as once we got up, we immediately began getting shot at so of course we run. Theres this large steep hill, we roll down into a river, full of other people who are going somewhere.

(This is where it strays from its typical path, but i guess ill still write it all because it makes things make sence...kinda)

Its just me and the crowd, i dont know what happened to the other two... We arive on a shore, a large muscular woman (like Jasper... But shes human) has some kind of attraction to show the crowd... (Things are now in present time btw)

This shits a scam, i dont remember what the attraction is, because the scam is in the drinks/food.

$20 for a drink of mtn dew... And i dont mean a bottle of soda, i mean a SIP of the soda. This is how all the drinks are priced.

The crowd and i (has grown quite smaller, as we were put into groups for the small rooms of the attraction) begin to throw everything on the drink bar at the employee. Understandably he's upset, but its because hes losing product. This guy knows full well how its a huge scam and is enjoying that its a scam.

I end up destroying the attraction, and punch jasper lady in the face.

(Oh hey more weird stuff :0)

People have quirks :0

Jasper lady has a... Pretty bad ass fire quirk and kinda goes on an angery rampage

This is where the important lady comes in.

She begins calling for anyone and everyone with an ice/water quirk to help control the damage.

I talk to a friend about his quirk- not important

The woman (dressed pretty fancy, her hair is tied up in braids against her head, a tight purple dress, matching heels) begins to run toward a car, calling for me to follow her.

Okay... I follow her to the car and get in... The drivers seat (irl i cant drive a car, in dreamland? I kinda can...barely).

The woman instructs me on where to go, but wont give me a basic explanation on where we are ACTUALLY going.

We eventually pull up to... The fancy house from before, no military equipment around it, still looks amazing.

The woman grabs my wrist and draggs me through the house, up to the main bedroom where theres a small, broken shoe locket in the corner. The woman goes up to it and disappears (:0 she was a ghost?!)

(Like.. The locket is in the shape of a high heel, the toe of the shoe is broken, the locket part is where the 'foot' would go into the shoe)

I pick it up, and close the locket, i recognize it and start to tear up. Its from my childhood (ive never had a locket like this). I sit on the bed, a dog and cat show up.

I find out this woman (the woman who brought me to the house) in WWI has, for some reason, left all of her possesions to a girl who wouldnt be born for several years, and who could take the house in 2017.

(I'm a boy btw? So... It's weird that my dreams still refer to me as a girl sometimes... But i havent had this since i found out i was trans so... I blame that)

---

Okay I shouldve pit this before, but.. Why did i get the house?

Well its because I helped the woman.

This is fuzzy and.. Weird so sorry.

As a kid (probably 10/11) I go back in time with... Two people, a boy my age, and a man who made the devise that brought us back. The man is nowhere to be seen, i just know he was supposed to be but we lost him some how.

This woman is losing her house in the war. Like the military wants to use the land and stuff.

I have no idea how we help this woman, but in the main bedroom, theres a secret entrance to.. Some kind of agency. The boy and i go into this entrance quickly (its where i lose the locket, though this part processes it as a shoe). After we get into the agency place, the dream jumps to something else. So... Idk how I helped this woman enough for her to leave all her posessions to me but... I did... Somehow.

[darthbenn]

Hey :) I'm really sorry if you've answerd this before, but what is (in your opinion) the problem with the stars this season? I'm quite new to this whole hockey thing and from what I've read, they were not this bad the past seasons? Again, sorry if I'm bothering you somehow with this

alright so this has been in my inbox since before the regular season ended and I’ve tried so many times to answer in great lengths so I apologize that it’s taken this long but here we go. Flat out, the team, as a whole, was not good.

Offense didn’t score enough, especially when compared to previous seasons. Defense has never been Dallas’ strongpoint but the ability to outscore opponents covered that up a bit. So the lack of scorning exposed a weak defense. A weak defense means more work for the goalie. The goalie is 1 person, that can’t do all the work. I think the main issue with the Stars was the lack of longevity and chemistry. Leaving training camp, the Stars had long term injuries to Eakin, Janmark, faksa, Hemsky. Devin Shore was injured shortly. Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn were coming off injuries. And that’s where the shuffling began. Lines changed every night and there’s no way to establish chemistry. Injury bug didn’t stop there, of course Patrick Sharp and Jason Spezza both missed time in the beginning, and then of course there was Jiri Hudler’s mystery illness. It’s hard when your top guys aren’t playing like the top guys, and even harder when they aren’t playing at all. Then we look at the defense. The Stars see John Klingberg as their number 1 defenseman. And then what. Again, constant shifting of pairs, and juggling 8 d at a time. The d men especially weren’t able to make mistakes and learn and play through them. It was make a mistake = scratched next game. That’s hard on young players. The Stars seemingly brought in Hamhuis probably to replace the veteran presence of Goligoski. They likes to pair a young guy with a vet. However, suddenly Klingberg was the Veteran (although only 24 and only 3rd season in NHL) But again, constant changes every game made it difficult to learn how your pair plays. And injuries continued, most notably Oduya missed some time, who was a presence on the top PK unit. Please don’t get me started about penalties. Then we have the goalies. I love Kari so this hurts me to say…Dallas overpaid for two average goalies. They’re expected to stop pucks from going in. And they did that, most of the time. Fact of the matter is, a two goalie system hardly ever works and just because it did in 2015-2016, doesn’t mean it should’ve continued. In my opinion, Neither goalie could establish himself and gain the needed confidence to go in the pipes every night to help his team to win. You can’t when you make a few mistakes and then get pulled. It’s a similar issue that the defense dealt with. We waited for one guy to step up enough to be able to afford the mistakes but never did. Kari had moments were he was good. When he was on, he was very good. However those moments didn’t come enough. That’s what lead to so many goalie changes, the most in a single season. Coaches. It’s tough to lead a team. Even harder to lead a struggling team with so mouth proven potential. There’s a lot of elements in that including respect and moral. From my perspective I think Lindy’s methods didn’t motivate them to get past the frustrations. Most of the players on this team have only known success at every level. It seemed like they were trying to be the 2015-2016 team without he same players or tools and it didn’t work.

All in all the season was a disappointment. I say that because of the proven potential this team has. To go from conference champs to one of the worst in the league, it’s not just one thing. In my opinion, situations shouldve been handled different. Of course that’s easy for me to say while I’m standing on their grave but Monday morning quarterbacking is what all fans do best.

[huggpheonix]

The title says it all

6 things wrong with this world 1. Money has to be earned. Seriously, whoever came up with that one, put themself in a bind. The people who come up with things like that make me angry. 2. Treehouses need nails to keep them against the tree. I learned that one the hard way. I'd show you some hilarious video, or flashback of why... But i had no camera. Okay, now you might be wondering why I'm even talking to you. Or why that's a problem, "Geez, Jeorge, What's wrong with you?" Youre probably thinking. I dont have a parent who's willing to nail stuff to a tree. And adults dont trust me around sharp things. It was one freaking time, that kid got his knee run through with the screwdriver! Tears are leaking from my eyes. Jeorge was so full of life.. Mom's always busy, buying grocerys and working night shifts. What's a kid to do!? Huh? Kevin isnt around enough to nail stuff into a tree for me! Hes always drunk and taking my mom out for late night dinners. He becomes very distant.. Like every little action is hard to make. The blinking. The breathing. And with one sigh... Kayne.. Doesnt want nothing to do with me. But thats only because hes a big fat jerk, who doesnt know how to nail shit to a tree. Treehouses for christs sake! Simply nail it to the big block of wood standing in front of you. Kayne, just cant carry a hammer, thats his problem. I wince at the many swears flying from his mouth. I hastily wipe tears from my eyes. Hes grumbling now.. And that signature glare shows through. The one I'd do anything... To see one last time.. Mom's voice is high and smeared with alcohol. Shes calling me down to come inside. "Coming!" I shout weakly. Honestly.. Im not sure how long she.. Will last. After Jeorge, left.. Kevin did also. He ditched my mom with this cheap Italian cocktail mix, and a basket of pills. With the nerve to bring his new girl. Her names Kay Lee, an exotic,extravagant lady with dark features. Mom just dropped the basket he gave her, and walked away. I stared at the strange looks Kevin and his girl gave her.  I stood up and stormed to the door. "Dont come back you bastard. Youre scum, i hope you have a good life. I cant believe youre with him." I spat at both of them. And closed the door on the traitor. I made sure I locked it and took the basket to the table in the living room. I had a stare down with the basket and after taking it all in. I really had no doubt he was trash. A cheap bottle of Italian cocktail juice. A pack of cuban cigars. The rip off kind. A lighter and after testing it, was half empty. I took the pills and bottle, in case youre wondering. I suppose im going through that testy rebellious stage? I dont know. All i DO know is, Im not leaving the killers in there. 3. Kevin. Kevin's my mom's older boyfriend. Hes got a stupid Spray tan that makes his nose look huge, and his eyes look beady. Hair thats gelled too hard, and spiked to the touch. A stupid muscular looking body, but i can see the thing he wears under it. Girdle? Idontknow.  Veins that throw themselves down his chest and forearms. Hairy chest and legs and arms, for fucks sake. A-n-d a greasy mole of a mustache. Swimmers shorts and a polo t-shirt finish this guy off, like one of those fighter games. Ecxept theres no blood. Its too bad. Hes always, glaring at me when moms not looking, and makes sure he sees me see him put his hands alllll over mom. Hes rude for one. Hes mean for another. And coniferous. "A tree?" This kid whos climbing up from the ladder behind him. Jeorge rips his fixed glare from the camera and I see his face pull into an easy smile. "That's what that is? I thought.. Wasnt that the word you taught me the other day?" "Condescending?" The kid says with a mousy grin on his face. Jeorge lets out an oh, sound and turns to the camera. "Why are you, staring at a camera?" The kid asks. His face is lit with concern for his friend. "Why do you think stupid?" Jeorge says with a laugh in his voice. "Are you okay?" Kyle asks. "Why, wouldnt I be." Jeorge says too quickly. "I dont know. I saw your mom pulling away with that Kevin guy, wheres Kayne?" " screw him, who needs that jerk. And he went out with his friends." "They only use him for beer and smokes." "You think i dont see that?" "Oh. Well.. Uh.. " he says trailing off.  Jeorge rolls his eyes and sighs again. His arm reaches for the camera and flicks it off. Im unable to grasp any words. And put my head in my arms. I always thought Kevin was decent until after Jeorge was gone. I pull out the disc and insert the next one. 4. He's holding up 3 fingers. "Dude.. Thats trippy.. Its like... Youre making some type of message. "Message.. Im not... " he sighs and the camera freezes there. "No. What the hell." I swear to myself. I pull out the disc and sure enough, theres a scratch in the side. "Agh.." I growl and think. I know theres... A cd fixing store. I pull out my cellphone and dial a number.  "Syndoistic, a smile on your face or your money back."  "Syndey?" I say with disbelief.  "Who is this?" She asks. "Kayne... Kayne.. Quopolis." I breath back. "I dont know any- oh! Hey, Kayne. Whats up? Say i was wondering if youd be able to drive me somewhere tonight." "I .. Yeah.. Sure... " i say .. "Great! This will be sick. And why are you phoning me." "Not .. I was wanting to fix a cd, I scraped it and i need it back." "Ew, cds are old school now adays, you know your phone has a camera right?" "You cant record.. Onto..." I begin but sigh. "I know, its my moms." "You dont need to do that shit for her, better to save your money for you." "I feel really.. I- " "Oh. And i dont think youd want to come tonight.. Cause, were gonna hit the hard stuff and youre a lightweight." "Jesus, Syndey, okay, i get it. How much is the cd gonna cost to fix?" I snap, surprising myself. "Why are you yelling at me?" She says into the phone. "Syndey.. Im s-" "Just pick me up tonight.i dont care. 9.00$" she says annoyed. The line goes dead and i climb down the ladder. I go into the house for my wallet and..  "Mom?" "Jimmy?" She says sitting up. She immediately lays back down when she realises its just me. "Oh. Kayne." "Whos Jimmy?" "Oh, sweetie.. I was going to tell you the news.. But i just cant wait." She says smiling and sitting up again.. This time slowly. I have a feeling Jimmy is going to be another Kevin.. But i dont tell her that. "Jimmy Finostin, next door neighbour... And the best part?" She says pausing for effect.  "Hes widowed." "Mom, that isnt, good news." Mom glares at me, and i see so much of Jeorge my heart aches. "Hes not going to cheat on us. Boy, dont you see? Hes wealthy and im inviting him over for dinner." I ignore her and walk up the steps towards my bedroom. I hastily grab my wallet and go downstairs again. Knowing jeorge he wouldve scolded mom.. But im not jeorge. "What time?" I yell. "7:00 Geez, when do you think we have dinner!" She yells. I close the door and run to my car. I make a mental note, as im pulling out, to stay away from the house until after 8. Walking into the syndoistic media store i see parents and children and young people mostly. I have the cd in a band cover case. One of Jeorge's favourite bands. I'm faced with a squinty runty looking 20 year old who glares every time a customer comes up to him. "How may i be of service." He monotones glancing around the store. Hes got blonde hair that flows into a ponytail and half a mustache. "Cd cleaning." I say and pull out a band cover. "Sinjoy, huh? Not many listen to that much. Got a bad taste in music" he says under his breath. I dont reply and instead hand him the money. "Keep the change." I say. "A whole dollar. Wow gee, thanks." He says sarcastically. "When should the cd be done."  "Around 9." He says. I begin to walk away before a hand touches my shoulder. I turn around and am faced with syndey. "Syndey." I say. "Who else?" She says and rolls her eyes. "What do you need." "Remember our deal earlier." She says. "Deal? Its honestly not a deal. I dont mind dropping you off." "We talked earlier. But i need to change plans. Jay and Haynor want me there." I nod and take her out to my car. In there we are faced with awkward silence. "So... Jay.. And haynor,. How are they doing?" I ask out of curiousity. " jay and Haynor are still together. They got into Jay's parent's stash so you dont need to pay this time." "Thats cool.. Are they doing okay? Like " "Like how, else would they be? Honestly Karl." "Kayne." I say quietly. "Thats what i meant." "I had this drink in my house.. If you guys wanted it." She laughs and snorts. "Knowig you, its probably juice." My cheeks flush with colour and i look away. Instead focusing in the road. "You dont need to get all embarassed. Jesus. Always been sensitive." I simply turn on the radio.  "I'll take the alcohol if it makes you feel better." "Sure." I breathe and take a left. We drive to my house and I tell her to wait, "No offer to take me inside, oh Kayne. Youre such a gentleman," she sneers. "My moms busy." "No worries. Just get it and come back. Your neighbourhood is really eerie." I walk into the house and regret it. My moms in the kitchen with her 'date' and like, six friends. I shouldve taken the gate door..  I sneak past the kitchen doors and make a run for the backyard. Opening the door i step out. A fucking dog is sitting there. Its barking at me. Everyone is making their way towards the window to see whats wrong. I hide behind the window blindspot and when they shush their dog i run for the tree house. Inside and safe i grab the italian bottle of sludge And take a glance around. Its a little dark out, but i see just wnough to make out the seats and empty soda can binoculars. I didnt have the heart enough to take it out. Grasping the bottle tightly i make my way to the gate and lift the gate hook. I run to the car and put the bottle in Syndey's arms. "Is this covered in mud or what?" "It was in the tree house." "Ew, knowing your creepy brother he wouldve peed on it or something." I grit my teeth so tight i feel a headache swarm. I let go and turn the ignition. "I got this as a present after." I lie again and again. "Whatever." Syndeys a little abrasive, but thats only because of her rough past. Shes really beautiful.. But im not really into- "Keep your eyes on the road." I do as told and take her downtown. She gets out of the car and tells me to wait. Waiting i turn on the radio and distract myself. Im listening to my brother's old stupid music and i cant stop. All the lines are speaking to me in a gliding of glazed singers voice, A knock on the window has me spooked. Its syndey. I unlock the car doors and let her in, "The parties down another block." We drive and i let her out again. She comes back and gets back in, "What are you listening to?" "Poise for Peaces" "Why?" "Memories." "Look, im gonna get high and drunk tonight. I need you to come pick us all up at 4am." "Dont be stupid," i warn and she ruffles my hair, the way she used to when we were 14. "Dont worry." She gets out and waves at me.before i start the ignition and drive off. Poise for Peaces, had never spoken so loud before, and for once im letting it into my head. "Keep yourself straight but dont bend and break. Dont be afraid to be yourself, you son of peace, daughter of space." I whisper to myself and get out of the car. Its now 8:59 and i walk back into the Media shop. Late night stoners and hardcore gamers come here at night. Im greeted with a rolling eyed runty looking store cashier. "Back for the cd." "Its not nine. Youre too early." "Its literally one minute off." "I dont mean that you stupid kid, the cd, is damaged alot.lucky for you, i put in extra strength cleaner. No extra charge." "Wow... Thanks.. Thats really nice of you." "Youre,... Really dumb huh?" "What do yiu..." "Only your brother liked, Ninjoy. We used to sit in that tree house for hours one end listening to those lyrics... That kid was the best thing that happened to me. He was always there. For me. Not for my money, but for me." "Who-" "Sinero. Bergtuy" "Stoner kid." I whispered a little too loudly. He laughed and tears seemed to swell his eyes, but not one fell over. "Hes the reason i quit." We were interuppted when a teenaged girl came up to the counter with her leopard print purse. "16.00$" sinero claimed and the girl handed him 14.00$"  "Youre missing the extra 2$" "Oh god.. Sorrry.. I dont have the extra two." "Here." I said and handed a townie over. Sinero gave me a proud look and took it. The girl thanked me again and again, saying this was her daughter's favourite game.  "It's her birthday real soon. And.... She deserves it." Sinero hands her 10$ from his pocket and tells the lady, thats a contribution from him. The woman nearly had tears in her eyes and hugged both of us. "God bless both of you." "Have a nice evening ma'am. And dont forget to tell her happy birthday from both of us." She walked out with a really bright smile on her face. "With little acts of kindness, comes a great weight off the shoulders. Its how we can change the world." I nod. "After my shifts over i need to talk with you," he says before handing me my cd. "Yes." I simply say. I gently put the cd back into its owners favourite band protector and pocket it. "11pm come back here and ill ride with you." "Come on in." I say with a stupid grin on my face. I knew enough about the stoner kid to know he always made himself at home. And it was infectious. I dont know why but.. This kid might have things to tell me about Jeorge. I give him a nod and make my way through the weed smelling troupe of teenagers. (Sinero is really 17. And Kayne is 20. The age difference is immense, Jeorge was only 13.) (Jeorge had Kyle who basically lived with them.) It was 9:05 and i got back in the vehicle. Making sure i had the Poise for peaces on. "Too soon, you left me, i thought i was the only one to make you feel this way. Ithere really anything left to say? Sinking through the earth making my shoulders fight through the girth."  I left towards the direction of home but decided to head for the elementary school. Soon after I got there, I finally took the keys from the ignition and got out. Joimfortword elementary school was where my little brother attended. He left multiple impressions on many people after he was gone. The school was really dumb to me though, they only cared for the extremely talented or the extremely help worthy. I walked slowly towards the wall, and soon found the message in black sharpie. 'Kayne + Syndey.' I had attended this school previously before Jeorge was born..  Syndey and I had met here at this spot. She had gotten teased by her classmates for wearing bright neon pink shorts instead of the school skirt every girl was encouraged to wear. But i put my words into 'encourage' (5. School uniforms.) ( Jeorge had met Sinero when he needed help with the treehouse. They had known eachother since before then but..) We were both in 5th grade.  A girl is wiping at her scrapes and bruises under the shorts material. She has a little blue ring under eye, but I say nothing. "What do you want?" She snaps at me. "I came here to get away from the screaming." She doesnt reply. "Damn, those kids can scream. Surely we arent in kindergarten anymore." "Are you trying to talk to me?" I clear my throat. She sighs, "my name is Syndey. Kids call me Sunny though." "Youre such a ray of sunshine, Syndey." I joke She snorts. "My names Kayne. Kayne Quolopis." "Cute name, Kayne." She pretends to be flirty...  My phone light goes dark and finally goes out. Im pulled out of my mind and turn it on again. I didnt realise it then, but we actually liked each other. And so it went. I point my phone all around the walls and theres a lot of graffiti. Tons of it. Saying multiple swears and derogatory words. Hearts and kick ass looking murals. One day i remember the principal got tired of responding to shit like that and let it go. Now its just one big slur of words and deafening cries. My light goes back to the Kayne + Syndey, and im sucked into another memory. Grade 7 when everyone was going through awkward moments in their lives. That day was really cloudy and the sun was weak. We sat outside in content silence. "Kayne." "Yeah?" "What do you think?"  "What do you mean?" She kissed me right there and that afternoon was where our heart went. We werent the first and definitely werent the last to do that. That summer was spent exploring and listening to eachother... That was the summer i learned of her abusive foster parents. Who spent their lives making her life hell. They told her multiple times she should be lucky. She should be greatful. She had no right to be sad. When she got everything she ever wanted. They told her to hush up about their actions and sent her to school with cheap makeup and a high expectation. She brought back less than average grades and continued on. She regrets it now, but at least she can party... And forget about it all. Including me. The lights out again and i turn it on. Below that i notice in purple spraypaint. 'Too soon, for deservation." The deservation is crossed out and in thick black letters it says 'love and assuredness' Normally i wouldved checked it off as one of those crazy feelings you get. Like it just draws you in.. But this time.. I knew..  His favourite color his chicken scratch writing. I made sure and took a picture. The video camera would probably have to check twice just to make sure it wasnt a suspicious person. I glanced at the time and it was 10:30pm. I pushed myself on some swings and thought of instances shared with Syndey. Getting off I went to my car.  It was time to pick up Sinero. The media store lights were all off and Sinero was walking out with his favourite army green jacket. The one he wore so many times, it was odd to see him without it. His skinny jeans were ripped at the bottom and his black boots shone defiance. But his posture said ill help you. His long beachy coloured blonde hair hung freely now and it cascaded in the darkness. His skin was tan and his left hand never seemed to do anything. It was only when he got in the car did i realise his hand was bandaged. "What happened?" I asked, jesus too late, man im nosy. He looked taken aback and it looked like bad memories. "Nails. Fights. Needles. But mostly needles." "Sorry.. It wasnt any of my business." "Youre right. But youre a friend." I stare at him with gratitude and pull out of the parking space. "Where to?" "My place." "Youre fifteen and you have your own place?" "A skimpy little apartment. But its home enough." "Wow. You really.." I trail off deciding maybe it would hurt him. "Grew up." He finishes off strongly. I steal a glance and am met with an award winning smile. Although rotten teeth around the gums stare me in the eyes, its the effort. "Yes." I say and drive him to his place, with the help of instruction. "Come in." He says and I get out with him. He slams the door a little too hard but i frankly dont care. "Whoops, sorry bout that." He apologises and i shake my head. We go into the 5 story apartment and walk up the rotten steps. "I live on the 4th floor." "So i see." I say. We final,y trudge upwards to it and he glances around.  He sticks the key in the lock and and lets me in first. He locks the door behind him and sticks a chair in behind the lock. I glance at him questionably and he only gives me a re assured look. "Wait here." He says before going into the hallway. I do as told and only look around. "You can make something if youre hungry. Or idk drink something." "Thanks." I say back. Hes got plain coloured walls and music posters i wouldve seen Jeorge have. The room is surprisingly clean despite being owned by a messy looking owner. Theres little furniture in here and i think i can speculate why.. A small radio, with two compartments, for tapes and cds. A window with a small belcony behind it, A table, two milk carton boxes for chairs.  He re emerges and now i only realise he was in the shower his freshly shaved face a reflection of that. I steal only a 5 second glance at his upper body and see his slim and sleek abdomen and angular body. His jaw is hardset and strong without that stubble and sorry excuse for a mustache. His hair is dried off and combed. "Like what you see huh." He teases. But i dont take it as a joke. "N-no i mean, yes.. But not in that way?" I say quickly. My face is really red. He laughs. "Dude. Its fine. Dont worry about it. Sorry i took long, i was taking my time." I only gawke at him. "That was literally the fastest showere ive ever seen anyone take." "Your brother was faster. Good thing too." "How so?" "Cause you take longer." "Oh.. Wai.. How would you even know that?" "Meh." He walks to the other hallway and gets changed. I mistakenly follow and am faced without his robe. Hes got his towel on thank god. "Whoa. We only just met again , properly." He jokes. I close my eyes and he laughs. "Calm down." He begins to pull on clothes and i keep my eyes shut. "Go ahead." I open my eyes and he has pajama bottoms on and a longsleeved t shirt. Again its weird to see him without his army jacket on. "My jacket huh? I dont actually sleep in it, if thats what he told you." I swallow a little lump in my throat and take a seat on the floor. He walks over to me and outs a hand on my shoulder. "Back then i wouldve watched either of you two break down.." He says. "Thats old me..." He says and takes my hand. He pulls me to my feet. "Youre brother was many things. He was arrogant. He was brash. He was stupid. Anxious, lecherous at times, condescending in others. But underneath that little shit exterior. Was a warm heart. A bright red fire. In a cold bombshell." I begin to cry and he hugs me. I cry into his shoulder and feel horrible. Hes so warm. After im done he says we should go somewhere and talk. And its in the car when hes asking me where to go, that i realise, stoner kid is still stoner kid. I widen my eyes in the parking lot light. "What?" He asks looking behind him to see if anyones there. "Holy fucking... We need to talk. But i need to show you, if not anyone else." He only nods. We drive over towards my house and I steal little glances at him. Hes got really beautiful eyes for one thing. But hes changed alot from being that one stoned horror story kid, who everyone talks about. To being this cleaned up mess. Whos heart burns brightly just like Syndey... Just like Jeorge. In the driveway i lead the way. Avoiding any contact with the inside and taking straight into the backyard. Thank god the dog is gone and my moms friends. Or maybe its just the two of them? I think hes following close behind.. But hes actually frozen to the spot. "Whats wrong?" I ask. "This is where we last saw each other." He gasps and i have to grab his hand to keep him moving. I let him climb up first and i follow up behind. "Oh my god.. Its just how we left it." "I didnt take anything out of here and its with all of it, and months of staring at the tree house from my room.. I decided to take one last look." Hes too busy picking up the coke can binoculars to hear what im saying. "Jeorge.." He whispers. "Im sorry for the loss." "You too.." He says weakly. I take a seat on the boxes and he finds one too. "When i came up here, it was like healing.. I kept coming up here. And then Kevin left. But before that.. Theres.." "Yeah?" He breathes outwards. I try to finish what im saying but i only put the words into actions. I take out the Ninjoy cd case and pick out the cd. The small tv on top of the box, is connected by a long connector cord. Into the outlet outside of the house. The cd player is on top of it. I put the cd inside and we both wait in silence It starts from the begginning again. Him sitting with his other best friend, Sinero. In his typical jeans and army jacket, despite it being really fucking hot out. Back then his hair was cut short. We were around the same age too. 17 with jeorge being 13. Sinero looks out of it and is saying all that stupid stuff to Jeorge. "Message... Im not.." He sighs. "Thats definitely a 7" sinero says. "4. My music is hardly sold in any music store. Anywhere. And even then i have to go through like six hours of car rides with this douche. Kayne wont take me, i dont knwo what his problem is. Honestly.  "Whats number 17" sinero asks out of nowhere. "Uh... Theres only six." "I, sure theres seventeen." He says. "No" Jeorge growls. Sinero's eyes grow angry. "Why are you getting mad?" Sinero growls. "Because fucking half the time. Youre always drunk, or smoking, or high. Im tired of it! Im tired of all of if, Sin-" Sinero rises. "Llisten here you little shit. Youre aggravatingly getting on my nerves. Youre only here to get me my drugs. Remember that." I widen my eyes. And sinero winces. "Im here so we can hang out Sinero. Jesus christ." "Youre always here in this fort talking to your stupid little camera." " sinero. You need to go into rehab. Your breath reeks of failure." Jeorge snaps. Sinero pounces on Jeorge and the camera falls to the side also. "Youre always talking down to me! To me! Im older than you, fucking older. I deserve so much more than a 9 year old who doesnt know how to talk to kids his age." Sineros staggeringly sober and tired and tears are falling from his eyes. "You do deserve a lot more. You know that sinero. You dont deserve a kid like me. You dont deserve a life of drugs. Youre so smart. So handsome... Friendly and kind. Assertive... But these demons take hold of you. You need help." Sinero Drags his nails down my brother's chest and cries into the fabric. "Help. Me.." He wails. " help me!" He screams into his chest. Jeorge doesnt make a move to push him off of him and just sits up and hugs sinero. After the crying stops, he whispers something. Something i cant hear. "Deservation." I didnt know what he meant so i kind of took it as a thing hed... Oh... The camera stops soon after. "He took me to rehab that kid. He helped me get better... He helped me, so i could be me. Not the fake me. But real me." He said with tears in both our eyes, at the outburst of tears. "That isnt all... I have two more cds to go, and one thats missing." "Did they ever.... Find.. His body..?" "No.." I say after a long minute, "I really want to find him," "How do you know hes still alive." I say quickly. "He visited my place alot. Vince." None of us move to take out the cd. (Dissappearance, or death?) "Did he ever leave anything there that wouldve raised your signals?" "I wouldve told you everything, if i could..." "We should watch more." I take the fourth on out and put it back inside the cd case, The fifth one is clean enough and i slip it inside. The screen lights up with a slightly matured Jeorge and a little girl. "Can you say hi, to the camera?" "Oh my god," sinero gasps. "Hi." She says very cutely. She looks to be about 4. "Im here with a special guest. Katlin could you wave at the camera?" Katlin waves with her little hand. She bares similar resemblance to - Sinero's daughter? "Today, for my special little videos, namely the 6 things wrong with the world series. I thought wed start off with a bang." "Wheres daddy?" She says. "In a moment dear child." He says staring at the camera with his stupid spiked hair to mimic his favourite singers. "I present to all of you, Sinero Bergtuy!" Sinero climbs up the ladder and is greeted by the little girl in a tight hug around the leg. "Glad to be here." He says still a little roughly. But with noticeable cheer. "Any special stuff youd like to say to the camera?" "Id like to thank you for believing in me sweating out all of that shit. And im greatful for my beautiful daughter Katlin." Sinero looks very well in the video. Younger than 20 but older appearance make him seem older than 17. "Daddy, what did you sweat out?" Jeorge turns to Sinero and he kisses her on the cheek. "All the bad stuff. Baby, its all going to be okay." "Dude, im so happy you got help, you look so good. You look happier than before.." Sinero hugs Jeorge tightly and so does Katlin. "Its all thanks to this little shit sitting in the chair next to me. Without him i wouldnt be where i am today, with my beautiful little angel and bombshell friend." Jeorge gives a little grin. With total happiness in his eyes. "Now you wont have to drive me drunk anywhere huh." "Of course not." Sinero says ruffling Jeorge's hair. "And.. As a little treat, i got you this." Jeorge not expecting it glanced at the small cd package. That held Ninjoy. "Oh my god. Thank you so much!" He yelled and hugged Sinero. "Anything. I seriously cant thank you enough Jeorge." Sinero is choking on gasps right now and im holdingg him close. Offering support when im just in the same way. This video series was what he hated about the world. "And of course, we shall continue with 5." "Can you say five for me?" "Five!" Katlin yells. Jeorge grins. "5. School uniforms. I dont know why i hate this." "Hates a strong word." "Loathe." "Whoa, thats a big word." "Hardly. Kyles a real genius with words." Anyways.. Uniforms serve a really great purpose i get it, but maybe we should.." Sinero is playing with Katlin and Jeorge is only in his thinking position. "Go on." Sinero says. "No.. No.. We should do something else.. 6 things wrong... But what i used to hate was the drugs and alcohol." "Why dont you cover what you hate in this one, and then the next one we do something different," "I like the way you think Sin." "I hate when Vince's friends come over only for a good time. I dont like it when Vince Ignores me.  I dont like Kevin. Micheal, klaire. Mom's friends. And Vincity's cool phase." He stops there and it looks like hes having trouble continuing. Maybe its because of Sinero.. Or because of the little girl approaching the camera. She stumbles and the camera tips over. Stopping the video. "My little girl.. My baby.." Sinero is crying. "What happened to" "Social services..." His hands are shaking and in the tv light he lifts up both his sleeves. Theres trackmarks making their way up and down his arm. And on his left hand he unwraps the bandage to reveal overhealed bitemarks, and scratch marks. Nail marks. Bruised knuckles split and dry hand and needlemarks. "Some scars dont heal.. Some do.." I carefully pat above his trackmarks. "Can i.. Feel?" "If you want." I gingerly touch one of his bitemarks and he only gives me an empathetic smile. "I lost feeling in this hand, dude." I furrow my eyebrows together and feel over old scars and 3d marks. After a while he bandages his arm back up. (They must uncover the mystery behind Jeorge's dissapperance. After going missing a day after his brother's birthday. They all discover theyve lost something even greater than just the body.) He holds his head in his hands and I'm held in complete silence. He was better once. But i knew what happened. He turned back to the drugs and pushed away anyone who cared. I put a hand on his arm and he looks at me. "Are you okay to continue?.." I say weakly. He clears his throat and furiously wipes away at his eyes. "Yeah." I take disc 5 out and put in the small compartment Jeorge had carved.. The one that started this all. I pick out disc 6 and its put in the disc player.  Sinero and I dont know what to say. The screen is dimmed quite a bit and Jeorge's hair isnt spiked like usual. Its combed down and so orthodox looking. Its strange..  "Everyones a traitor. Even Kyle." Theres music in the background but its faint and keeps cutting out. "Mom agreed with Kevin. You're pribably wondering why I bother st all. But soon enough this will come in handy" The video is cutting out a bit and Jeorge reaches for the radio and a piant can. "This is all youll have left of me. This treehouse. This all started off as an outlet or something stupid like that. And after this. Youll probably question. Whyd you do that? Cause im just an angsty teenager now. Look a little closer. Clues." The video cuts out and the screen goes black and finally after skipping it, it turns blue, ready to except another tape. Theres no tears this time. Only questions. "What the hell?" Sinero says "What was that?" I say furrowing my eyebrows. "I thought the kid was.." "The police took it into their hands. But.. They didnt search the treehouse. They said it turned was pointless, because the day he went missing was the day he stopped going into the treehouse. Holy shit. I think weve found another clue." "Fuck." "We need to find him. Sinero. Please." "No, absolutely not. Police, investigators need to clear this up. They're more capable then two kids." "Sinero. We need money for that stuff. This is going to cost more than what you make at a cd store." Sinero puts into serious thought. "I need to work on getting my girl back, Vince." I pull on his shoulder. "Please. Help me. I cant do this alone. What if hes still alive and counting on us to get him back! You said it yourself. Sinero." I practically beg. "Ill really think about. Vince, but this is all too much too fast. I need time. Give me a week." I shake my head yeah after a second  "Of course." We climb down and i drive him home. "Ill see you in a few. Vinny. Ill tell you if i can remember anything." I nod and he gets out rubbing his eyes. I check the time  3:45 "Fuck!" I shout and drive over to the party place. Parking outside. I get out and walk into the place. Jay is heavily under the influence of multiple alcholic drinks. His breath reeks of scotch and cigarettes. "Ah... Good friend, Vinniel." "Yeah." I say avoiding his piercing gaze. Despite him saying my name wrong i couldnt care less. Im way too preoccupied with thinking of where the clues are. Thwy didnt pronoucne him dead just missing, "Listen..." He slurs. "Couple.. Hoursss moreeyy." Usually hes very reserved and uptight but drugs and booze, is how he lets loose. "Jay, no.come." "I said. A couple hourss you fuckkking looser." "Youre drunk. Come with me." He clips me in the chest and i stumble backwards. I push him back in rage and he throws a blind punch missing me. I tackle him to the ground. "Enough." Syndey growls. She sounds surprisingly sober. "Vince. Off of him." Jay grins sharkishly at me and i just huff in contempt. This isnt the last or the first time weve fought. "Syndey. Its four." "Im aware." She sneers back. "Are you alright." "Quit worrying." Shes holding her forehead. And cursing foul words under her breath. "Im all out. Take me home." I nod. "Get Haynor and Jescany." I go into the back and see, a washed out looking young man in sweatpants and a green t shirt. His hair is messy and in an afro style. Jescany is a broke older woman who likes to tag along for the ride. Shes asian and likes to dress younger. Shes alright but a little too passive. "Haynor,Jescany." I call out towards them. Haynor glares at me. "Vincity." He chokes out with a blow of smoke. He stands up and takes Jescany's hand. I dont doubt the intimacy him and Jay have but.. The waste they put in their own bodies restricts it. "Ride." I say and Jescany's laughing loudly and Haynor is just scowling. "I take it the drugs didnt sit too well this time." Haynor only rolls his eyes and follows in pursuit to the car. "Everyone buckled in." I say lamely. Glancing in the rearview mirror at a frowning Haynor and a smiley Jescany. Syndey sits beside me and Jay is trying to kiss his boyfriend. "Drive." Jay growls in his russianish accent. I only shrug and start the ignition. "Where to." I say to Syndey. "The bus station six blocks from here." She replies. "You arent going to sleep there are you." "No, stupid. Im dropping off Jescany." Jescany only nods. "Shes fucking drunk out of her mind. Or worse. Stoned. She eont be okay." "Kid. Shes done it before. Shell do it again." Jay grumbles kissing Haynor on the lips. I drive us over to the bus station. "Jescany." I say.  "Ill escort her home." Haynor volunteers. I give him a weird look. Jay pulls away with fleeting red cheeks and a sigh. "Ill be back babe. Just gotta deliver a babe home." He says shrugging. He kisses Jay on the cheek and then a quick peck on the lips before pulling Jescany out with him. Jay sits back and finally puts on his seatbelt. "Where to now." "Jay's." I glance over surprised. "What about your place." "Ugh not there. Leave them." She says dissmissevly and I only bite my lip. Her foster parents are scum for sure. "Alright." I say not even putting up a fight. Our relationship is shakey as is. "Hey, Vincey." Jay says with a sligt laugh. "Yeah." I say not bothering to look at him. "They find your bros body yet." My heart hammers in my chest making me tighten my grip on the wheel. I dont answer and Syndey only gives me a concerned lit look. "Save your sympathy. Syndey. Goodnight." I say when she goes in for a kiss. She rolls her eyes and takes Jay with her. "Bye." She says and closes the door. I drive into an alley and slam the wheel. I hold my bruised hand close and let my tears fall. "Jeorge!" I yell. "Are you fucking hapoy where you are!?" "Im miserable without you!!" I scream. I put my head down on the wheel. And rest there.  At 7am i wake up and the sun isnt even up yet. I sigh and wipe my eyes starting the ignition again. I drive back home and park. Walking into the house i dont even care if my mom calls out to me. "Vincity, Quopolis. Where the hell have you been." She growls. I only shrug and head up to my room. I lay in darkness and let my tired body rest again. "Save your sympathy, you tired restless embodiment no joke. The only judgement received is a lecture spoke-n" I open my eyes and its afternoon. I dont feel like facing my mom so i climb down from the window and drop down. I walk to my car in the same clothes i wore yesterday and unwashed hair and stubble on my jaw. I dont care. Im so tired. Im so done. Im so... Exhausted. Of feeling. I step on the pedal and swing by Dinero's. I make my way up the steps to his door.  And knock. A minute later a woman with red hair and blue eyes answers. "Who are you." "A friend. Is dinero here." I say meakly. "Dineros at work. Again, who are you." "Freddy, his landlord." I walk away and again go to my car.  Driving over to Sindoistic. I get out and walk inside. "Dinero." He turns around and looks so tired and so unhappy. His face is paler than usual and begs cloud his eyes. "Vince." He greets, but not with the usual joy. "I need to talk with you." I sigh and walk out waiting for him. He follows and tells me he took a break. "I uh.. Have something to tell you," he says to me, he sounds nervous. "Yep." I deadpan. "Last night, everything came rushing back to me. And i felt so horrible. And there she was. And there it was." "You relapsed." I say widening my eyes. "Not on the hard stuff. Never that.. Ne-never that." He says shivering. "What was it then." He bites his lip. "Weed. Thats it.. Booze." I take his arm and lead him to my car. "I need to show you something." He sighs shakily We speed to the school. "Holy shit. His school." "The wall." I take him to the paintings and show him the heart. "You didnt tell me about .... Syndey?" He squints a little closer. "Its a dead line." I say with sadness in my tone. He takes a closer look and sees it. His knees give out and he has his hands on the spray paint. "Deservation.." He says blankly. "I dont even know what the kid means..." "He made it up." He pulls his hands away and when i look closer i realise the blood. "What the fuck." We say. The flash on my camera glares into his palm. Blood Definitely blood. I point my camera at the heart. Sure enough inside the heart is a number. A phone number. 987 65042310 Dinero looks at me. "Fuck." We both sprint to the car and lock the doors. I whip out my phone and dial the number we had to get a pen to write out. A few rings. "Hello?" A voice asks. Im unable to speak.  "Hello? Who is this." Its Jeorge. I hang up. "Dude." He says and takes the phone from me. He dials it again and the same person picks up. "Hello." Jeorge says annoyance playing at his tone. "Jeorge.." "Who the hell is this?! What do you want?" The voice growls. "D-dinero." He says weakly. Silence is on the line and it goes dead. "What the hell?" I say utterly blown away. "Fucking Jeroge?" He gasps out. The phone suddenly rings again. We sit there in stupidity and finally answer. "Look. No time.. Meet me at Foxinn, bar. We can---" "this call has been interfered with. Dissconnected. Please try again." "Jeorge." Dinero says assuredly. I put the ignition into gear and drive. The Foxinn is in the next city over... But.. Its close. Enough. "Dinero. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit." His heart is only racing. "Vince... We... Cant expect.. Too much." He says putting his head in his hands. "Its our only hope. And its leading somewhere. Dinero! My brother!" I say and tears are in my eyes. He just shakily sighs. We arrive in half an hour due to my increasing speed. We park in the Foxinn. "Be on your... Be cautious." He warns. We walk inside and its pretty busy. Everyone looks normal... Except for the teenaged boy with faded out red hair.  Hes hunched over a bar table. "Vince." Dinero nudges me and i nod. We walk over towards the boy. Dinero stops me and approaches first. He taps the kids shoulder and the boy flinches backwards. He sighs and looks him over with a piercing gaze. "Did you bring company." The boy merely gazes at me. "Yes." Dinero admits. "This is my tag along friend Brin. He just turned 18 this month, and i thought id take him along." "Thats a weak cover story. Dinero." Dinero only drops his hands and gives me the calling hand sign. We both sit down in the bar chairs. "Im going to first say, the flaws, in said cover story. One, this is a secretive meeting. I cant be here very long. Two, why would he tag along." The boy says. Im taking in his appearance very quickly. Hes got faded red hair thats ruffled and shaggy, it almost covers his eyes. Hes skinny and wears a black t shirt. His nose has a bull piercing and his eyes are grey. He eyes up my gazing. "You must be.. His brother. The famous, Vincity."  "Wait.. Youre not him?" I say, relief leaving my tone, i didnt think it was him to begin with,, but... "No.. I work for him. Very odd, boss. Might i add." "Work?" I say hoarsely. "Like i told you.. " he begins, but is cut off by the ringing.  He picks out his phone. His eyes widen.  "Yes.. Right away." "Look.. We need to meet up again." "Wait.. Please." He breathes out impatiently. "Question." "One. Make it quick." "Hes still alive?" I say. "You dont know the half of the other side of barely. Hes alive.. Alright." "Can we meet up again." Dinero begs. "Uh... Yeah.. Same place.. Different guy.. Maybe.." He says before leaving us. "Ohmygod." I say. "Hes alive. Hes alive. Hes alive." Dinero keeps panting, "Hes alive!" I say hugging him.  We turn a couple heads and we pull away. "It was quick but.. We need to learn more." Dinero nods. Confusion gets to him. "How will we know when to meet up with him?" "We will phone him after." We arrive back at the city and I dont have energy to go home. "Ccome to my place." He says. We pull into a parkig stall and get out. In the apartment we have to unlock the door. On the fridge theres a note. 'Dear Dinero, I left. Good luck.' It isnt even on a proper piece of paper. Just a small sticky note. He groans and throws it in the trash. "Who is that anyways?" "My old girlfriend.. We have a complicated relationship now.. Her names, Fresca." "Shes pretty." I say, its true. He gives me a twinkly eyed smile. "Katlins her mom." "Ahhh." "It was a stupid life we led. We didnt care about nothing.and then she got sick. At first i was concerned.. I even stopped with the drugs for a little while. She was pregnant." He has this dumb grin on his lips and hes looking down. "She stopped too. I got the news of her giving birth when i was detoxing." "Jeorge had been with me every step of the way. He came to the hospital to see her." "She was beautiful.. And it was like every single one of Jeorge's words came back to me.. And i never knew i could love something so precious.. So much.. It gave me motivation to get through it all.. And now.. Its all going downhill.. I cant see my baby.. Jeorge isnt here to snap me out of it..." He trails off and reveals too much. He fills a mug with water or vodka. I step up and take the vodka bottle out of his hands dumping the mug out. I get a clean one and fill it with water. He looks touched and i place a hand on his shoulder. "Drink.you need it." "Thanks." He says. The next morning i wake up in his bed and i shoot up. He isnt in here. I go into the living room and there he is. Hes snoring on the couch and hes wearing an old ninjoy shirt he and Jeorge got when they were younger. I dont want to wake him up. So i sit down and decide to dial the number. "Hello?" An annoyed and angry voice answers. "Who is this?" They say and their voice is a combination of jealousy? And envy? Theirs muffled voices in the background and a punching noise. Theres footsteps and a slamming of doors. "Hello?" The voice is strangled and pained. The yelling in the background increases. I make out 'Reed! You fucker!'  "Hey.. Its me. From the day before." "Oh shit. Listen, i have something that will bring closure to you. Okay? I figured it out before when... I was sleeping.." (Jeorge has a weird relationship with Reed and jeorge is violent and a malevolent asshole. Who is double edged and sharp.) "Ill give it to you when we meet up." "Alright.. Thanks." "Yeah. Its what you deserve at the very least." "Whens the m-" "Oh fuck. Fuck. Ill call you after-" the line goes dead. I take the phone down. Reed is being slowly punished for not telling Jeorge what was going on. "You fucker. How am i supposed to trust you when you wont tell me whats going on." "Im sorry.. Jeorge.. Im sorry." He yelps. "I dont want to hurt you. God i dont," he drops to his knees. "But you have to understand.. To remain.. Strong.. I need a leader.." Reed is looking away, his nose is bleeding. He doesnt answer. Jeorge is pained and hugging his knees. He begins to cry. (JEORGE MAKES REED SET UP A MEETING BECAUSE THEY WERE CAUGHT.) Later the phone rings. "Sorry.. I was almost caught.. But i didnt give in.."  "Are you okay?" I panic. What exactly did he endure? "Nah.. Dont worry about it.. " he says but i can tell hes lying. He spits out something and sighs. "Look, ill be under suspicion again. Meet up tonight 12am. Try not to be late." He hangs up again. Dinero is groggily rubbing his eyes and he groans and rolls of the couch. He stands up and shuffles into the kitchen. I walk in there too. " morning sunshine," i say as a joke. He only raises his eyebrows and grabs for the alcohol bottle. I lay a hand on his and he rolls his eyes and huffs. He instead reaches for the water. He gives me an inquiring look. I just flash a smile. Later on i tell him we need to leave for the city again. Hes sweating and is pale again and just says yeah. We both get into the car and drive. We first got coffees. At the Fox inn we are early. 11:30pm so we laze around until we see a bright red haired individual make his way through the lesser crowds. Due to it being Tuesday. Its not until he takes his hood off that they notice the bruising and cheaply applied cover up. He only makes a smily face. He points a finger up and pulls out a little napkin. "Take this and hide it. Do it on your own time." I nod and am confused.. What could be in this naplin? "D- it will.. Come in handy.. If youre to-" "So, traitor not?"  A cold irritated voice aays from behind the red hair boy.  He whips around.  "Jeorge." He says with fear in hsi voice.  "Folley,Moany, Jane." As if on que the three hold us down. I glance up at the girl with a bone chilling grip and i see an irregular sight. Red hair and red face makeup.  I look towards Dinero and hes thrashing away from Folley. One of them has a iron fist hold on The red hair kid. He only looks away in defeat. The man with a mohawk takes Reed away and snaps his fingers. Which im guessing is a telling to hold down All of us. "Who the fuck, are they." He spits at Reed. Reed doesnt answer. He slaps him. "Reed. Who. The .fuck.are.they." He growls. Reed is holding in his breath and breathing in bursts. Huffs and pants. "Reed." He says calmly and backhands him keeping a firmgrip on his jaw. "Friends!" Reed whisper shouts, "just friends." Hot tears are spilling over his eyelids. Onto his burning cheeks. Red and slightly bruised. The make up is on Jeorge's hand. He rubs it on his jeans. "Youre lying. Your eyes are looking every single fucking direction. Except me! Jesus christ. Who are they?" "Go.. Find out for yourself." He says throwing his arms off of him. He begins to try to run away but Hunry is outside and grabs his forearms. He squeezes and Reed gasps in pain. "Where do you think youre going." He monotones and snaps at Hunry to follow him with Reed. They walk back towards the traitors and he snaps at all of them.  They nod and tighten their grips signalling us all to stand up. We are escorted out of the bar and The man known as Jeo throws a wad of cash at the manager. He makes a throat cutting sign on his throat and shush's him. Hes lucky half the bar is empty. Im enraged. I thrash around and am ultimately scared.  They throw us in the back of a vehicle. And blindfold us. And ductape our mouths. (We meet up with a young looking woman with orange hair. She seems to be around 18-19. She hands us something in a napkin. "Its from Reed. The guy from earlier. Ive been informed of who you two are. I have to say, you two are fucking stupid. If J-" She cuts herself off and begins to tell us of my brother. "Hes... Different.. Then what you probably knew... I wouldnt imagine.. That youd see what is inside that napkin.. And not get to meet him." Dinero only begins to grasp the situuation. "Di-different.. How." "I dont really know how he used to be.. He hasnt spoken much to any of us.. Of himself.. Well.. Anymore.." Im about to ask what she means, but a phone vibrates in her pocket. "Oh shit.. Okay." She says and stands up from her chair. "Look. I have to go." She says to us when shes hiding her voice from the the receiver. We nod and deive back to the tree house. I take out the napkin, and its a disc! Another disc. "We have more. Dinero. We have more." Dinero gives me a yellowing smile. I quickly make haste and turn on the cd player and tv. I put in the cd and sit back. It turns on. It lights up to reveal a darker place. It seems dank and the living conditions seem deteriorated. A lanky looking boy sits down on a milk carton and stares into the screen. "I... Have.. Seen, darkness." Theres a long pause. Theres a flicker of light and i catch glimpse of a glare and bruised face. Half of the boys face is riddled with old and new bruises. "Soon. Soon. Soon. Its all gonna be over soon. Soon. I cant wait till soon." He says and holds his head in his hands. "Im fighting with.. My demons.. Theyre... Choking me.." "Soon... Soon.." He repeats to himself. "What the hell." Dinero says and leans closer. Its hard to see a complete stranger look like hes in pain. The video cuts out and it skips to later. It skips a few frames. Hes laying on a mattress. "Its okay.. Its.. Okay." He re assures himself. He stands up and paces around. "Im.. A .. Good kid.. Loyall... Loyall.. Ive been here longer than most," he whispers to himself. He stops and turns to the camera. "It..s gonna.. Be over soon." And he walks to the camera to the camera to turn it off. The screen goes white, and i almost move to take the cd out in disappointment.  Suddenly, the same boy walks into the room. "Its done. Its done. Its finally over. Nothing.. No obstacles.. Smooth.. Smootth sailing.." He begins to huff and puff and finally he breaks down. "Good.. Kid.l good kid.. Good kid.." He repeats over and over to himself. He calms down and turns off the camera again. "Who was that?" "I dont wanna jump to conclusions or any thing.. But i think.." "Jeorge." I say breathlessly. Later on we receive another phone call. "Meet me at the foxinn." Dead line. ( "dont hit her!" Reed yelled out of turn. "You cant tell me what to do. I control you all." She sits in a kneeling position. Shes waiting for the hit but it doesnt come. Reed is holding his cheek though. "If you want to be like that, then ill make her sing." He pushes reed out of the way and hes busy holding his stinging face to care. "What were you doing," "Nothing i swear." She squeaks out. "Lies." He continues until finally she cracks. "Someone.. Meet,, at.. Bar.," she stufgles to pull sentences together. "Good." He says relenting and pulling himself up. He snaps at maony to clean her up. "Clean her up. Treat her to a nice dinner." Maony nods sadly and lifts her up gently. Jeorge whirls around and waits until they leave the room before he collapses to the ground. He clasps a hand to his mouth and plays the scenes over in his head. Reed begins to push himself up and leave but Jeorge's heaving gasps compell him towards him.  He places a hand on his knee next to him. "This job... Is turning you into him." "Im not him.." He chokes out. "Im sorry,.. Im so sorry." Reed only lets out a sigh and uses his hand to rub little circles into the fabric of Jeorge's jeans. "Its okay.." He mutters. "No.. It isnt," he says and continues to shake. He pulls Reed into a hug and Reed flinches from the touch pulling away. Jeorge gives him a horrified look. Reed sighs and goes in for a hug. "Im sorry too.." Later on... (Reed phones again and says to meet up again tonight. His schedule is cleared but he has bruised all the way up his arm and a bruise on his eye. Vince gets the first cd and its when Katlin is born and him holding her. And of Him kissing Reed and them having little interviews. He didnt believe in firsts so he did that after he found Reed. Jeorge gets his friends to hold down Vince and Dinero and Reed. He takes Reed away and holds his face closely. Glaring at him. "Whos this!" He shouts. "A couple friends" Folley squeezes his arms and he yelps.  "We-" Jeorge widens his eyes at Vince. "Vince.." They end up watching the cds in hiding and they get a look at the insider life of Jeorges cold world. But hes really just the same, just more steely. And not trusting. "Will you ... Come back?" "Vince.. Its complicated.. The moment i set foot out of the fucking house, was the moment, life changed. I cant go back. Life is too far gone." "Mom.. She.." "Kevin. He left didnt he." He snaps his fingers at Moany and Folley.  Thwy nod and leave the room. "It's complicated Vince. Im too far into this, to leave." "You at least owe me an explanation.") The guy gives them another cd and it awakens a whole new perspective they neever knew could become of their beloved punk brother friend. (Girl next time, informed by Reed. Jeorge's right hand man. Her names judge. Shes addorned in plainative clothes and a messy appearance.  Jeorge runs a bussiness..?) Theo is the big old boss that used to control the gang and Jeorge wanted to control. So he used to do anything, "Rule one, you dont refuse anything i say, do or give to you. Take a hit." He did as told. And it continued until he finally outbursted and it was too much for theo d lungs so he passed out and never got full medical attention. So he died the next day entrusting it over towards Jeroge. Vince always thought his friends were weird now he connects the dots. They werre always doing weird shit and jeorge actually had a dark side to him. More layers. He used to be an errand boy and do shit for him. Reed and him were both in e same ranks and they would go door to door and commit crimes. ( i have this fleeting memory, that keeps drifting back to me. Even though, im imprisoned in this room. It dissappears and reappears every time. In random. Theres a boy with his older brother. I watch as he blows with all his heart into the wand. "Youre not going, to get anywhere being mean to all those poor bubbles." I say. He glares at me, shoving the wand at me, "Do it then," I gracefully blow bubbles into his face and he gets angry. "You cant get angry, at bubbles." The memory always stops right there. Jeorge has always been tempermental. But never in my life, would i imagine him as a tyrant.) Everything.. Goes Blank I awake with a dry mouth and a headache. Its so stuffy.. Like i can bearly breathe. I cant really open my eyes but now i can kind of make out a small stand.. A door.. Dank lighting. The woman with red hair appears again and she takes my wrist. "Come with me.." She says. She takes me into another small room. "Hey.." Says a small voice coming from a darker corner. I cant speak. He comes out of the darkness and its the red head kid. Reed, i think hes called. I make out a nod. He looks terrible. His face looks like it ran into multiple poles little scratch marks here and there, sweaty and dark begs. His physique looks like he hasnt eaten since yesterday. "Weve met before.. Im not gonna hurt you.. You might be.. A key to something." "I got involved with this to bring back Jeorge.. Now that i know hes alive.. I need a description." "Youd have to guess.. The overbearing,over rated, ("When i get older im gonna ditch all these people. Theyll see. We will see." He grows up and follows one of his newer older friends Fred. "What are you doi here?" He asks panicked. "Do you have any idea what theyll-" "Whos this runt." The guard growls.  Fred lies and is punished. Brought to the master. "Master., "Lied to me again." "You know what we do to liars." He has the people rain punchs on him and he has him layn out there. Thats the first thing jeorge ever sees. "Youre a scrawny little runt." The master growls. "Ill let you off. Youll come in handy." "Handy?" He makes the mistake of asking. "If youre going to live here. You will learn. Not to question me. None of them do it. Its your mistake runt." Jeorge is disheartened and is about to leave. Groan grabs him by the arms and leads him to a cell sort of room. He pushes him in and closes it. He sits in the room and lays down. "I need to get out of here." "You and me both." He whips around to face a boy. When he sits up he looks to be about the same age as Jeorge. "Who are you." "My names Reed.. Or Red.. According to the mean guy." "Why are you here?" "Youre very curious huh... Wondered into a bad time in a bad place?" He does t say any more than that and leaves Jeorge to think. Later on the door slides open. "Jeorge." The woman in almost all black says. He rolls over and follows her reluctantly. She pushes him into the office part and he faces the same guy from before. "Runt." He seethes. Jeorge just glances every way. "You cant escape. If youve tried. Doors are monitored. Youve seen too much. You serve me. I need you to be a little errand boy for me.. Got it?" "But i-"  He stands up from his seat. "But you?" "I?." "You.. Spit it out. Jeorge." "How would you know my." He holds up a cell phone and reads off text messages. "Thats illegal give me my pho-" "There are no rules, Jeorge." Hes about to counter. "Your name isnt Jeorge anymore, its Jeo." "Get out of my sight." Hes escorted by another thug into his living quarters. The squeaky voice of a younger woman catches his attention. She coughs. "Theon.. He asked me to show you your limits." " The room is where youll stay. Until notified of the boss. Youll receive food on a daily basis. At times youll be let out for fresh air.. And training. Bathrooms are located in each room. Youve made a bad mistake. Tip of advice. Dont get theon mad." Jeorge is staring at her and she lifts up her hair and it shows a large scar going down to her collar bone. Jeorge widens his eyes and his blood boils. "Why would he-" "Dont ask anyone their stories. Only if they tell you. Got it." She begins to take him back and before he can protest shoves him in his room. "I dont get it.." "Choices. Thats the thing. You never told me your name." "Jeorge." Six weeks and hes got it down pat. He and Reed go out and do business. They earn the money so they can continue to eat and sleep and stay alive. Hes been beaten senseless so many times. So many times. The stinging on his eyebrow just a reminder of his constant urge to escape. Hes asked Reed so many times when they can go,  Reed just looks away. "Red.Jeo. Youre wanted." Sinama says. She escorts them to the bosses door. She pushes them inside. "My two favourite punching bags. Hows it going," Reed looks away self consiously while Jeorge glares. "Great. Just fucking dandy." "Didnt your parents teach you about manners, Jeo." It still pissed him off that they called him that. "No matter the tone of voice you address me, youre still street mice earning your own scraps. You havent seen anything yet. Trust me." Jeorge clenches his teeth and looks away. "I need you two to clean up my buddy. The bastard thinks he can double cross me, and get away unscratched. Go, teach him a lesson. One he wont forget." "I cant do that!" Jeorge yells and clasps a hand to his mouth. He whispers im sorry over and over until Theon reaches him.  He instead takes it out on Reed,  Until Jeorges crying and begging him to stop over and over again because now Reed is curled in on himself and his tears are streaming down his bruised face and hes beginning to stop moving. "Dont fucking refuse my orders. Next time your buddy wont be so lucky."  Jeorge is kneeling over Reed and is measuring his breathing. Methods hes grown to assemble to himself because theyre survival tools. Theyve been engraived. Ever since Theon has taken a liking to Reed. Hes rewarded with shallow breathing thats hitching. Theon sighs and Jeorge thinks he hears actual remorse in his voice but thats crazy because Theon is relentless.  "Im-.. Not going soft, Jeorge. Take him to a real doctor. Or something. I dont care." Jeo widens his eyes. Is he being... Nice? "Go!" He roars. "Report back to me later, your still doing the mission. And what use is he to us, if hes broken." He adds in regards to Reed's beaten body. Jeorge narrows his eyes and carefully lifts him and carrys him out of Theon's. It should be a surprise to see somebody's relative in crushing pain. But the look, Maryn, gives Reed, is not of concern but of Pity. After hes taken to the hospital, hes treated immediatley because of the tiny rib fractures, the split lip and eyebrow are easily remedied. The bruising is minimum and any blood is wahsed off. It leaves an unconscious Reed alone to Jeorge. After an hour goes by Reed finally comes to his senses. His eye groggily flutters open. Jeorge is by the bed side not able to sleep and is biting his nails. Reed begins to sit up but is hooked up to a machine. "What the hell is this." He says but it sounds like hes talking through cotton because of his swollen lip and cheek. "Precautionary." He says wordiedly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He inquires. "Like how?" He says with a glare. "Like i havent taken Theons beatings before." He begins to dissconect the equipment. "You worried me i thought you were almost.., "This wouldnt have happened if youd just gone along with what he said." Jeorge is taken aback and Reed finally gets out of bed. "Hand me my pants." "But-" "My pants Jeorge." Jeorge is holding back a tidal wave of emotions as he sees Reed struggle to pull his pants up. He finally does and he tucks his dress gown away into a shirt form. "Come on." They both run -limp?- out of there and later the doctors are wondering what happened to the two tired looking children. They arrive back at the headquarters and are brought back into Theon's. "Red, Jeo. Go now." He says. "What do you want us to do again?" "Beat my colleague, until he squeals. His apartment is located---" Red is distant around Theon and Jeo knows why. They both leave towards the building. In the apartment they face a man of french decsent. He looks like he had just gotten out of the shower. He answers the door and He faces two of Theons rats. "Ah.. What is it you want? If its some lame fight club, im not interested., He begins to shut the door when Jeorge stops it with his foot. "We'd really like to talk to you about more pressing matters." Red shoves him into the apartment and Jeorge shuts the door behind them. A french man is curled up against the couch as Jeo is holding the frying oan like a sword. "Why did you leave. Why did you double cross us." "Theon.. Hes corrupt.. Hes too far gone for me to save... For anyone.. Please.. Leave me.. " "Thats not all of it, tell me more." The french man is about to give up. He raises the frying pan and closes his eyes. "Wait! Hes sick.. Hes very.. Very sick... Its.. A viral disease.. He doesnt yet know of.. Very deadly very contagious. Very... Hes... Contracted it off me.. He wouldve killed me.. Killed." "Naturally youll know of what happens to traitors. If theyre brought into him." The french man gives a horrified look. "I dont want to do this.. I dont.. But.. We are all street rats fighting for survival. This is only for him..." He gets Red to call backup and they get him dressed. He has to look okay otherwise it will raise suspisicion.  So they get him to walk to the car and make it look normal to the cameras. In the car they drive them to the headquarters. They push him into Theon's. They have to wait there before they are called in. "Red, Jeo." They stalk in and the boss says good job. "Go." They walk out before they run towards the room. They collapse into huffs and puffs and jeorge crumbles. He rolls around on the bed. Before running to the washroom and taking a long shower. He washes his hands off and begins to sob. He wipes the tears away after a long while and turns off the knob. He puts on his old ninjoy shirt and shrugs at the memories. He puts on faded jeans and unlocks the door. Reed is laying down breathing softly, hes concentrating on the pros and cons. "What are you thinking about." Jeorge says softly. "My personal choices. What i did to deserve this." Jeorge cringes a little bit. "Hes sick. He looks sick. He needs to die. The bastard needs to fucking die." "Reed." Jeroge says firmly. "Jeorge. He will kill us all." "I wont let him." "When are you going to grow up? He doesnt feel anything towards us anymore. His choices are sick. Jeorge, you were stupid to leave your family." "What of you, Reed." "My sister feels pity towards me. I did the same as you. Except. I didnt have a choice. It was either that, or social services. Jeorge. You had a nice mother and a brother." Jeorge is making his way over towards Reed. "Its too late.. Weve made bad choices. Bad fate. But thats not whats in the future. Ill find us a way." Theon is hacking his lungs out and is constantly leaking blood from his nose. Hes pale and is keeping himself together. He finally begins to think about the end. "Cinnor." He calls out shakily. "Boss." She says wearily. "Get.. Jeo.." "Sir." She says before leaving to pluck Jeorge out from his bed. "What does he want?" Jeorge says quickly with fear in his eye. "Not sure.." She finally opens the door and stands guard. "Sir.." "Jeorge.." He says meakly. "Ive been a real bastard... More than you know... But.. Its too late for sorrys.. Wven though... I am.. For all the pain.. Dont give me that look.. Im dying.. And.. You and Red know it..." Jeroge is in awe. "Even.. The most disconnected person feels... Im not going soft.. Boy" he hacks and coughs and is laying his head down. "Im... Not gonna.. Die... Peacefully..." He laughs without humor. "Ive been a bastard... And... I cant.. Pay for it all.... The most capable person to take over... Is you... People... The people here... Theyll listen to a new face... One who knows compassion and all the mushy stuff." He clutches his heart and coughs again. "Theyll hear a new age... Theyll listen to you, Jeorge... The sickness... The virus.. Its spread too far.. Jeorge... Ive... Taught you most of the fighting skills... The vitals.. The makeshift healing.." Jeorge is leaning over his desk. "Jeorge.. Dont let this place deteriorate.. Do it for me.. And if not.. For the satisfaction... Of getting out of here... " "Enough talk.. Enough gushy shit." He rummages through his drawer and takes out a file folder. "Ive gathered info on you. Youve a brother.. And a mother.. Both hurt by your dissappearance.. If you do as the file folder says.. You can free your friends and yourself.." "Theres a catch.." "What?"  "A catch... What is it.." "It doesnt matter how nice.. I try to be... Youre always.. So refreshingly honest. Youve grown.." "Cut that shit out, Theon. Of course i want out of this. What is it.. You want me to do." "You need to eliminate the people in the file folder, various figures who stand in the way of my goal.." "What do you gain. You will die." "I have a life outside of this building." "You.!?" Jeorge snaps. "Yes." "This is all for my roots." "Your roots?" "I grew up in a very rough place.. You remind me of myself. Jeorge. We are more alike. Than you know." "You and me?" Jeorge says with a slight snort. "Dont be so fast.. I was younger... I was more stupid.. At.. Least.. All this.. Will.. Atone.. For what ive done.." "Cut the shit. Theon." "My roots. Charity. My helpers. Theyve made me who i am today." "How will you know if i decide not to do it." "Watchdogs. Ill be blunt. Theyll dispose of everything you love." Jeorge widens his eyes.  "The funadmentals will start now. " He begins to lecture Jeorge on rules and morals he guides himself by. By the time its over hes sent back to the room with bruised knuckles. Examples of the punishments he will receive and will give to make them follow orders. His head is spinning and he decides to just lay in his own bed. Each night hes plucked from his bed and taught the fundamentals and how he will strike with an iron fist. When he doesnt follow something hes yelled at and punished, each a new punishment. Names that have stuck with him throughout his four years. In the end hes put to the test and is a steeled boss figure and hes beat to a breaking point. "Senseless beatings will often, give fear to them." The next night hes driven to kill him. "Ill make sure i do it for you." He whispers before Theon takes his last breath. Jeorge notices a change in atmosphere in the building. Everyone is happy and they are all getting along. They share pizza and have nights where they all tell stories. They become very close friends and finally its time for Jeorge to give a glance at the file folder. He sees all the targets and is disheartened. Someone knocks on the door. Reed enters. "Reed." "Boss." "You dont need to call me that. Come here." Reed steps over towards the desk and he sees all the pictures. "What is this?" "Theons dying wish." "Dude.." He says before taking the folder into his hands. "Thats alot of people." "I know.. " "What do we do? " "We have to eliminate them." "No.. No way.." He says before putting the folder down. "Its the only way.. Reed.. Its how we get out of here." "Hes dead. Why are we still here?" "Theres unfinished business. Reed." "He wil never know." "Reed hes got watchdogs." "Holy shit." "Its too late to go back."  "Jeorge. What are we supposed to do?" "Exactly what the folder says. Dont give me that look. Weve made big mistakes, and this is how we pay." "These look like innocents, Jeorge." "I know." He says putting his head in his hands. "Come on, a nurse with kids?" "Reed. It sounds irrational i know. But if this is it.. Then.. We should get it over and done with." "Did he even tell you the motive?" "He died before he even told me the whole of it. All he said, was it was for his roots. For charity. He said these people are standing in the way." "Saran Joreyy. Age 25. 25 Jeorge. Fucking 25." "I know, Reed, for fucks sakes shut the hell up," Reed is taken aback and steps away before apologizing and walking out. "Fuck." Jeorge curses to himself and looks over the folder. Jeorge goes to Reed. "Reed.. Im sorry.. This whole thing is overwhelming.. I know theres no way to justify our actions.. Or his.. This is all bullshit... But... Its the price we pay." "Cut the bull shit sweet talk Jeorge. Ive thought it over. Whatever gets us the fuck out of here. One condition." "Yes." "We pay for the funerals." "Yes. Sure anything." "And we attend them." "Ye-wait no. Reed. We were the ones who killed them, why would they want us there?" "They didnt deserve to die. Its out of respect." "Reed. That is so stupid." So on it went. We eliminated six out of 20 people. And attended everyone of their funerals. If anyone asked we were old friends that were never brought up. "This is getting to be too much, Jeorge." "What do you want me to do about it." "He told you to do it.. He didnt give you a specific time limit." "Thats a good point. Damn." Two days later their base is infiltrated by ten teenagers claiming theyre the watchdogs. "Wattdogs. We are wattdogs. Hired by your passed expiration date master." She says with a wolfish grin. "Why are you here." "He didnt even tell you. Did he." The one with several piercings in their face. Female or male.. It didnt matter. They looked fierce. "Tell us what." Jeorge says protecting Reed. Reed's only in awe of jeorge. Only because of his black eye. And bruised knee caps. He was scraped up pretty bad the other night and called useless several times by Jeorge. Another pipes up. "Your leader was known as an R." "What the hell is an R." Reed says from behind Jeorge. "Reckless, ruthless, awe, fuck ran out of r words." "Okay.. So just a bunch of like.. Words?" "Ravishing." They all turn to look at a girl. "Hey look. Aint no joke, he was hot in a rugged way." Some boy smiles in the back. "Okay, so... Why are you here. Seriously. What hasnt he told us." "Our orders. What we get paid for.. Is to make sure. You do what he said. Sort of his dying wish right?" "Yeah.. I guess." "Now. He told us that you guys had a time limit. You could take a tiny break but once that was all done and finished you get right back on it. Any more time wasted, the targets would all escape." "Shit." "Your leader. Was a horrible man certainly. But he had power. Under the radar, power.  "Yeah. He often showed us his power." Jeorge snorts. "The bottom line really is, that he needs you all to clean up his mess. Whatever he told you was probably bullshit." "I aint cleaning up no ones mess. Its all his problem-" "You want to risk, them finding all your dna on this shit? No. I was guessing not. You do your job and maybe we will help you clean up. Okay?" "Wait.. You said your job was to just make sure we got the job done." "Im not a complete asshole."  "Do your job. This was just a minor look into what we can do." "What happened to your friend Jeorge." She asks him. Jeorge widens his eyes and looks for the first time the damage hes done to Reed. "You know... Its pretty lecherous for the leader to punish his little buddies. Especially when they mean so much to him." Reed only stared at the ground hes held down by a man whos twice his height. Jeorge is slapped by the lady leader. "We got paid big dollars, so we could watch over you. Do your job. Or we going to come in here, and fuck up your pals again. Okay?" She says really sweetly. He only nods and she puts his head down on the desk and pats it. "Let them go. You. Kayn. Tell the others to lay off." Kayn seems to nod and runs off into the building to find the other Wattdogs. "Okay. We gonna move out. Look. You heard my warning. Do it. Get it done, and youll be done and over with all this." She shoos out all her friends and begins to leave. "Oh. And jeorge?" Jeorge is bleeding out of his forehead." "You dont look like a big tough bad guy to me. Youre just some messed up little fucker, who needs help." She shuts the door and he begins to bite his lip. Reed is all beat up. "I cant keep helping you Jeorge.. You need to help yourself too.." He whispers. "Reed. We need to take out some more. Ive learned that theyre actually witnessess. We are there to clean up Theon's mess. Its shitty. But... We can get this done. And hopefully.. By the time we are done.. We will be able to be normal.." "Define normal, Jeorge." "Fuck." Suzanna Wilsinow. Age 43." Reed just gulps and they send out two of their best. Im better off on my own