#i mean ive been working on my own au for years now like 😭

[grimmed]

i wanna interact with the okegom fandom a bit but im terrified

i do NOT SUPPORT FUNA in ANY shape or form. i enjoy the media and characters though (minus the problematic trash)

and i know most people in this fanbase are probably okay but ... ive had experience with a couple bad apples so if you glorify any of the toxic parts you will be blocked.

[igotlovestruck]

fine line [ christian pulisic ]

after finding out the secret you’ve been hiding for years, christian made it his mission to be with his own family and of course, to be with you despite your careers and other obstacles that’s keeping the both of you apart. things are moving too fast and it’s starting to worry you. but don’t worry—“we’ll be a fine line”.

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — christian pulisic x ex!reader; oc!emily, oc!ezekiel, oc!andrew . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — insta au, im not really good at dates but just imagine the setting is during the summer lmfao, christian & y/n softlaunching (are they really though 🤨) . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ YEAH so ive only got this for now, i haven’t finished writing the narrative scenario BUT FOR NOW enjoy this <3 ALSOOO belated happy birthday to my man who isn’t my man but is my man ❤️🖤

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

— in case you missed it: easy on me • read more of my works here!

cmpulisic

liked by masonmount and 299,372 others

cmpulisic summer for the books ✌🏻 ready to go 🚨♟️

view all 382 comments

user wait what

user since anyone isn’t mentioning anything about the 4th and 8th pic, i will. DID I MISS SOMETHING OR....?

user girl you’re wrong, everyone’s talking about it

user you mean, did WE miss something? yeah, we definitely did

user yall maybe that’s just his nephew or something 😭

user i don’t...i don’t think so...

user WHATTTTT

user whose kid is that christian 😭

user this is your year christian 👏🏻

user captain america ❤️🖤

masonmount congratulations brother 🤝

benchilwell my man 🫡

yourusername

liked by emilyemmons and 579 others

yourusername what a crazy summer it has been 🌻 til next time florida!

view all comments

emilyemmons 💗 enjoy your journey to milan, my loves!!

yourusername come visit us when celeste is a bit older 😚💗

emilyemmons oh we definitely would 🫶 celeste definitely loved having her godmom around 😌

yoursistersig hot mamas!! 🥵 emilyemmons yourusername

yourusername stoppp 🫣

emilyemmons this summer is the most i’ve seen y/n wear bikinis and she’s the HOTTEST

yoursistersig ikr! that’s what i've been telling herrr 😫

yourmomsig zekey holding the flowers 🌷 enjoy milan, my love 🤍 wishing you all the best

yourusername 🥹 see you soon mom!!

emilyemmons those are from ********* 🤭

yourusername emi!!!

yourmomsig well, they’re beautiful! he definitely remembers which flowers you like 😉

deedee_pulisic come back soon with zeke ❤️

yourusername of course! he and avery can be playmates 🥰

user wait a minute...

user girl are you thinking what i’m thinking

user ...yes...

user is THAT christian 😭

user GIRLLL the tattoo, the beard !!!! it IS christian

YOURUSERNAME HAS SET THEIR ACCOUNT TO PRIVATE.

cpulisicupdates

10,817 likes

cpulisicupdates “I’LL DO MY BEST TO PROTECT THEM FROM THE PUBLIC”

are these hints that christian pulisic is finally off the market? watch christian’s newest interview, click the link on my bio to access it! 😄

view all 492 comments

user wait what

user I KNEW THAT KID IS HIS

user we’ll never know unless he confirms it him babe

user girl are you not convinced already lol look closely at the pictures of the kid on the mom’s posts, he clearly looks like christian when he was a kid

user still not convinced

user you do you ig

user “very special people that i’ve recently reunited with” omfg exes to lovers i think

user GIIIIIIIIIIRL 😭 dont do this to me

user dont blame me i finished a lot of movies today

user i dont know which one of you bitches just lied to me and told me i have a chance with this man ... APPARENTLY HE HAS A KID

user this has got to be the funniest shit i’ve read today 😭

user yeah that girl and kid is definitely connected to him, i surrender

user she’s definitely the girl he dated during his dortmund days

user i cant complain though, she’s gorgeous and i dont blame christian for being private with his relationship right now especially if they have a kid together

[olderthannetfic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738859016693874688/why-do-some-popular-things-have-such-small & the person who replied to it in Another ask about Slay The Princess --

This answer was a facinating read as someone currently in the James Cameron's Avatar fan space -- i was only 8/9 when the first movie came out, and wasnt very into fandom Yet, but around the early 2010's when i Did get into it and went looking, there was almost Nothing to be found (and the few that Did exist were either short character studies written by some of the smartest people on the planet or troll fics), less than a 1,000 Total in the media tag on ao3 iirc?? And i remember feeling Fine with that, for the exact readon you both mentioned -- the first Avatar is a very well rounded film, no matter what everyone cares to say about it. It was Written to be a stand alone film, and bc JC is good at what he does, that Worked, and there truly wasnt much to write fic about besides Extreme au shenanigans or a few theoretic between-scenes, you know the type.

Then the second movie came out Last year and then the Game came out THIS and the fandom has just. Exploded. It's almost funny because so many of the younger fans, who were in it for x readering with the Sully kids, keep complaining about how "the fandom is dying 😭😭" in the tags the past few months and i just have to stare at it like pal just because we're not still shooting metaphorical fireworks about how much we loved the sequel and game doesnt mean we've all Moved On 😩 Im still Diligently mpregging the resurrected villain in my new longform crack fic thats probably going to be finished around the time the 5th movie comes out. Wee child you must Power through with us. Increase Your Fandom Stamina 💪😎🏃‍♂️!!!

But yeah it's just been Extremely interesting seeing how drastically things have changed, going from that completed, hard-to-write Wholeness from how compact the first film was vs the Flood of worldbuilding and lore and new characters we've been given (and have yet to Get, there may be some evil f/f fics beyond the horizon...) and how much the Sequel has contributed in the process of making Avatar easier to enjoy Casually, rather than as a "stereotypical", "extreme" strawman'd Avatar fan of yor (our elders who i respect most vehemently, for their help in understanding and writing the Na'vi conlang in all our fics 💪❤).

Even though the canon movies have a lot of problems, ive been luckiy enough to see the Fandom do what its always done best -- ive met wonderful people and Incredible artists while the life experience + background knowledge who can flesh out the areas of the concept that JamCam has yet to delve into, for whatever reasons he claims to have, and ive And others have felt moved enough by it all to start writing our Own incredibly self indulgent and sincere stories, within the same framework! Bc good lord it really is a sandbox. The moment you start diving into all the Implications of Avatar's universe, how the RDA is run, how Eywa works, etc etc etc.... jesus. ive lost so many hours of sleep reading real academic papers on Actual xenobiology (yes its a real thing, it both is And isnt what you think it is) for these movies, its nuts.

So some days like Now i just have to sit here like. Wow. We built this house And made it a home. and its Awesome. these asks made me want to gush about it 🥰 thats all! tysm!! Love this blog SO much, keep up the great work n have an awesome day everyone!!!

--

[blkkizzat]

Helppp I feel so dumb for not knowing that was already on your kicktober list from last year 😭🙏 not me being proud of myself for thinking I came up with a good, original idea 🥲

ANYWAYS... I know you still have a bunch of works to get to from last year but I honestly have a lot more ideas I think that are original or not that popular.

I don't really expect you to use these tho just because I'm pretty sure you have a bunch of ideas aswel!!!

Ok moving on. 🤩

Stalker!Toji

it would have drugging (not really a kink 🤷‍♀️),EXTRA dirty talk, and public sex 😍

He’s been watching you for a while now ever since you caught his eye while bartending at a local club, after following you home every night,needing to know more about you, one night he comes to the club, offering you a “friendly” drink on him, but who knows what he does with it once you turn your back 😈

that’s basically the “plot”, you can change it however u want 😭 I tried to keep it short so you could think of some ideas for it yourself 🫠

(I have 0 idea how to write) but i definitely think it would be noncon/dubcon but reader would enjoy/consent in the end, like you said in your general warnings on kinktober 23

Succubus!Sukuna

Okk I’m pretty sure this was already done before but I have my own twists 🤭

Virginity Loss (reader), Monsterfucking, Dumbification

Your friends were all talking about how they already lost their virginity and it made you feel left out that you couldn’t relate, so you do some research on the internet on how to easily lose your virginity and find out about Succubus’s, you do some deep digging and find out how to actually summon one! Obviously thinking it’s not gonna work, you follow the directions.

I didn’t know how to end it off so it’s a bit trashy… I actually really like this idea 😫

ClutLeader!Geto

I know he’s a cult leader in general but in a lot of peoples AUs he isn’t, plus i imagine this one a little darker, anyways it would have sex toys, bondage, edging.

You join a cult bc some reason you wanted to, you were a total newbie when you first joined in, you didn’t know where anything was or any of the rules, so you end up roaming the halls in the middle of the night, trying to create a map in your head, until clutleader!Geto finds you mindlessly wandering around and decided to take likening to you.

I could have totally continued going but…yknow 🤷‍♀️ you don’t have to use these at all there just plus you already used all these characters from last year, I just thought it would be fun sharing it, you can totally switch up the kinks to your liking if you do decide to use one of these, I just picked out ones that went well with the idea.

-🪼

Nooo 🪼 pookiess dont feel bad! That just means its an extra good idea if we both thought it up!

Stalker!Toji - so my YOU fic The Nursery is pretty much stalker Toji. But I can do more of a one shot kidnapping scenario as—omg wait you just gave me such a good idea and it has nothing to do with this but its still for toji dfjhadskhsdfkj. I can't spill the tea now until i work it out more but *kisses u*

Succubus!Sukuna - hehe is this genderbent sukuna? Succubus is the female demon that goes after males and Incubus is the male demon that goes after females. I can do something similar though like with a ouija board or something. its been done before so i would have to think of something unique for him. (also i might end up doing incubus!geto)

CultLeader!Geto - you know ive never done anything for him as a cult leader. Theres been so many delicious fics too, but I will think of something. Definitely could explore something here. Although I do write my readers kinda sassy so let me think on how this would go down. This also could just be bimbo reader. fhsdksjhdjkfshdbv.

But tysm for the ideas!! I do appreciate them. Even if I don't use them it can be nice just to get the prompts as that helps me with other fics too! 💓 🫶🏽

[fatratbabyy]

hi! i really love your designs, the colours are always really well done anf the characters are full of life.. and i love how your rewrites give the characters complexity and make them really interesting to me, much more so than canon(though i am a fan of some ideas introduced there, they don’t quite turn out in ways that make sense to me)! i’ve been wondering a few things about helluva troupe for a while however and hopefully the answers aren’t spoilers, lol.. in HT, what is Fizz’s involvement with the ‘troupe’ and what is stolas’s involvement too.? i wish you much luck on your work as it is lovely to see! (also apologies for my silly username)

Thank You!

Thank you so much that means a lot!! waaAahee! It makes me happy to see people interested 🥺👉👈

With Fizz it's,,, a bit Fuzzy, because hilariously he's the whole reason I made this AU among other things But I ended up makinh him a sorta side character antag again because while originally he was going to be part of the main crew from the start of HT's storyline, as I went along in trying to write I saw some cool hcs about his star clown days and so I thought to use the more canonized view- mostly in that he's a star clown during the events of HT instead of dropping the show life to join Blitz in I.M.P. That previous version is why you see him in the I.M.P references- and hinty hoo that ol version isnt completely null and voice to the current HT

ANYWAY so yeah- While Fizz isn't as much a main character as he was he still has a great deal of importance to the story and themes I want to express in HT. When it comes to him and the Troupe itself, I could best describe him as one of the biggest foils or parallels to the main cast. Just,, he's this golden image that represents their every want fulfilled. For Blitz especially given their thick history heehooo. (That's not to say this 'golden image' is entirely as it seems btw...)

Now it sounds much like canon I know but I like to think I'm taking a different direction with it- It's not really just the "haha you suck with relationships, fuck, shit, pénis im doing better look at my good relationship" nonsense cuz for 1. Fizzarozzie does nOT exist anymore- its Mamzie now 😊 (Mammon + Ozzie) and 2. The themes with Fizz and really most of HT has less to do with the melodramatic romance "will they wont they" of Stolitz (which isnt really a thing either) and more the struggle impoverished and oppressed peoples experience with success, failure, identity, community, family, status, history, trauma, etccc. Specifically, because I am an indigenous person from Canada, a lot of the themes are drawn from my own experiences, knowledge and history as an indigenous person. Though with execution, creative liberties were taken to make the fact they're in Hell clear btww-

That very likely did nOT answer jour question but i amn,,,stoopi 😭😭😭 simpler answer i suppose maybe by chance would be Fizz is an eventual antagonist to I.M.P. Specifics and how it happens and wheNNN?? Im still not sure yet if im honest- been really busy the last year or so and so Ive hadnt had any time or energy to work as much on writing all the things! ;u; thats probs disappointing to hear cuz plaNNing and all is important if you're gonna post story stuff at all,,, but !! I do hope to work more on the story this year so i can wrap up all these floating ideas into a Concrete line of stuff cuz truly all im missing is the middle pieces. Maybe an HT comic will be real this/or next year! 👀🏃

ANYHOOT ONTO STOLAS! i rambled a bit too much about Fizz cuz im still figuring him out- Stolas might be a bit shorter cuz his role is sweet and simplisticerr.

So, Stolas is an antagonist. He and Blitz still have an exchange sort of deal, but the deal is Blitz gets to keep the grimoire for I.M.P if he handles Stolas' "errands" and gives it back on the full moon with ofc none of the uh,,hawny stuff, obv. Blitz kinda keeps this deal under wraps from the rest of I.M.P because for him, it hurts his pride to admit he's in need of some big guy's help. And Stolas is somewhat aware of this. And so, Stolas is this looming, cruel threat that Blitz carries the burden of cuz he's stubborn as fuck whilst the rest of I.M.P remain ignorant.

Some bonus notes that dont really have to do with Stolas involvement with imp but jus how stuff ive changed with his canon influence the story diff than canon; so, Stella isnt a thing anymore. In general the Goetia work much differently- majority of the Goetia being the children of Ozzie instead of Paimon (who is Stolas' sibling now btw too) and the Goetia being thousands of years old instead of fucking 30- Also! While Via is existant she is but a baby instead of a moody teen,, ties heavily with Stolas' motives and how he operates as a character, royal, and Goetian and felt it would work better with how HT Stolas is as a character than it would otherwise.

Also no worries about the username! I dont like canon stolas much either lol,,;

I apologize if this didnt answer much 😭 feel free to let me know if you wanna hear about somn else gwahgh 🏃

[baekhvuns]

thank you for the recommendation of the angsty songs!!!! how'd i forgot about osts that truly helped for angst 😭😭 and and anddd!!! i have been writing my fics in google docs as well and it's very helpful! since i saw someone said that writing straight on tumblr usually happened to have repeated paragraphs at times so,,,

hegehehegdhrj i think my mingi ff is a little rushing towards the ending since im sucks in writing good ending considering my brain only generating ideas somewhere for the climax lmaoo but i hopeeee i can have audiences enjoying it <3 im not really good with angst although my life is full with angst so i guess i just wanted to be happy once in my own stories (ouch). i dont really consider myself a writer, just a mere reader tbh skshsjkss but i will let you know once i have the courage to drop that fic :D

no but recently, as i said, i only saw porns on my tags, etc and barely seen any mafia with actual plot yk,,, like real legit plot with long ass words written so im a little sad and thought that nobody wants to write mafia anymore or they have lost any new twist for the trope lmaoooo 😭😭😭 being said, i missed your mafia mingi so much i hope its doing well and in a pink of health in your draft <333

anyways new update: i have started writing reincarnation au san and next to write perhaps news reporter yunho (that my brain generated when i was watching morning news yesterday 🫡) or fake dating au seonghwa (that i have been keeping the draft for more than a year now),,, let's see.... ehe :D

p/s: kinda want a new job but at the same i dont want one yet just so i can continue converting all my ideas into writing 🦍

ofc any time!! forgetting you by davichi is the ultimate angst wiring song pls do give it a listen if u have the chance! you’re right, ever since tumblr updated from mid last year(??) it’s been repeating paragraphs and even has a word block limit 😭😭 glad ur writing on something that can save ur works!

AAAAAAAAAA im very excited for ur mingi fic im sure the audiences(me) will love them!!! no bc i also suck at writing endings so i just leave it at a cliffhanger-ish/up to the reader type of ending 😭😭 LMFAOOOOO NOT UR LIFE BEING FULL OF ANGST FBWNBSKCK pls do!! hopefully u get the courage ✊🏻✊🏻

😭😭😭 how did we as a society move from full bloom plot heavy fics to just porno’s 😭😭😭 NO BC FBSJHFS I WAS VISITING MY MINGI MAFIA DRAFT BEFORE I WAS ANSWERING THIS ITS STILL THERE AND SITTING PRETTY IVE COME UP W A BETTER SAME PLOT FOR IT AND I WILL BRING BACK MAFIAS FOR YOU my dedication for that fic will be u <3 if i don’t write the f1 fic first that is 😭😭 or a miraculous lady bug fic <3

WE NEED SMALL DETAILS OF ALL UR PLOTS. WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN NEWS REPORTER YUNHO. ????. WHAT THE FUCK DID U SAY ABOUT PARK SEONGHWA AND FAKE DAYING FHKWHDWKJDKW

ANON IDC THIS HOLIDAY I BETTER SEE THAT FAKE DATINF FIC ON THIS APP I DO NOT CARE I WILL HUNT U FOR THAT FIC FHAMFJKSJDLA

[gureumz]

since tumblr was being mean... i'll just write this again then! >:0

i noticed u actually followed me back... TYTYTYTY SMMM can i scream for a second pls AAAAAAAAAAAAA

holy moly u have NO idea how happy i was when i saw that in my notifs- ive been such a big fan of you when u were still active in your older acc. i think you were one of the first smut writers ive rlly liked! I remember i couldn't stop reading your heejay 3some smut and its been engraved in my mind ever since... Thats when i started diving into tumblr and then knowing more about writing :') still gotta improve my grammar though

I was today's years old when i realised you were the same person who posted about that AND the jw royal au 🤡 i got the courage to actually tag you and then u followed me back? Me?? Me who owns a little blog?? God i felt like i was gonna jump off the walls and the fact we're moots now..? 😭 i sound like a weird die hard fan im so sorry :')

Anywho, id just like to say keep doing what youve been doing and ill be here suffering enjoying your work and continue to support you. ilysm and i hope you have an amazing day/night florie ! 💗🤍💗🤍💗🤍

AAAAA thank you so much 🥹 this all means so much to me and the fact that you've liked my work since my cloudninescenes days 😭 thank you truly!!!! 🤍

[sukirichi]

Kamo Escorts | JJK Collab (OPEN and ACCEPTING!)

Welcome to Kamo Escorts, where pleasure and elegance, dreams and reality, are all attainable at the palm of your hands through a golden coin. 

KAMO ESCORTS COLLAB — heavenly pleasure ; a playlist by @fushigurocockslut​

banner by @gojos-mochi​

Rules in Booking: 

Send me a dm/ask regarding your chosen character and the AU 

You must be 18 or above to join. 

Escorts are NOT the same as prostitutes/hookers. If you have any questions regarding the difference or any clarifications, feel free to ask me about it

Dark Content is accepted and encouraged. Just make sure to tag and note the warnings properly.

Deadline of the Escort Events: up until June 15, 2021 only!

You cannot take the AU for the same character anymore once it’s booked by others already ~

You can write more than one character, but only one work per character only! (You can write for Gojo and Nanami, but only one story for each)

Use the tag #kamoescortcollab and #jujutsuescorts

The list of prompts/pairings down below are just suggestions and ideas! Feel free to send in your own pairing and AU if none of the ideas below are to your liking <3

There’s no minimum word count, but longer stories (1k+) are encouraged and preferred!

Please age up minor characters!

If you need any help with sharing ideas/plot construction, I’m all ears! 

Bullet points with no names beside them means they’re free!

please join abdksksks dont flop me lmao 😭😭😭💕💕💕

au suggestions!

• “i’m your rival's escort and you kidnapped me...jokes on us cuz my client won’t bail me but i can free myself with my service au”

• “my client is a mafia boss...he wants to extend my service for two more months but his rival booked me next week already”

• “my client is my doctor”

• “my client is my college professor who failed me 💀”

• rival escorts au 

• my ex is my escort 

• “ive been flirting with you for weeks but then i find you're dating my friend when you show up in a ball but...oh youre an escort?”

• “I was hired to appease my client’s nosey grandparent but now I’ve been written into the will”

•  “my ex invited me to their wedding and I wanna upstage them cause it didn’t end well between us”

• more to be added...send prompts/pairings/ideas into my dm’s/asks

KAMO ESCORTS PROUDLY PRESENTS THEIR BEST ESCORTS...

𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

• ceo! gojo x escort reader | @gojos-mochi

​• gojo x celebrity reader | @sukirichi

• “I was hired to appease my client’s nosey grandparent but now I’ve been written into the will” | @weakass-penn

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮

• professor geto x escort reader | @noritoshiikamo | peach play

• geto x rich! bratty reader | @fushigurocockslut | cry baby

𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨

• nanami x ceo client reader | @myrandomoc | a night to remember

𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢

• megumi x classmate! Reader + my ex is my escort au | @your-average-weeb-dealer

𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚

• shy! yuuta x femdom! escort reader | @nakachuchu​ | Room 603

• toji x escort! reader + “my client is a mafia boss...he wants to extend my service for two more months but his rival booked me next week already” | @megumifushi​ | daddy issues

• yuuta x escort! reader + “being away from your friends stresses you out so i was hired to come travel with you” | @aprosperlys​

𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢

𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨

𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 

• escort! choso x neighbour! reader | @sukirichi​ | easy

• “My friends hired an escort for my birthday party who happens to be my friend from elementary school who I haven't seen in years” | @thethyri

𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢

• sexiest choso fic ever *lip bite* | @chosonore​ | infatuation

• “I was hired to appease my client’s nosey grandparent but now I’ve been written into the will” | @weakass-penn

• officer yuuji x escort reader | @insufferablepanda | white lies

𝐌𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐨

• escort! mahito x idol! fem reader | @nkogneatho​​​

[wonwoonlight]

📣: boyfriend!Jun // idol!au // am not sure what to tag this lol a little angsty i guess? // hurt and comfort? //1441 words

warning: reader fainted

A/N: thank you for the prompt anon!! i rarely write junhui bc ive only written him like...once so i hope this isnt to ooc of him😭 enjoy!

find the rest of requested drabble here

People around you have always said you can be too hardheaded for your own good. At times, it brings you good things because your determination to push for the title track of your group’s last comeback has turned into a very good decision to say the least. Now your group even gets to perform somewhere near the last half of an award show due to the success of that comeback.

Sometimes, though, it’s probably the bane of your existence. You’ve been feeling like you’re going to get sick since at least a week ago; the tell-tales your body is showing you says so. A lot of time you get a sudden wave of headache and a few days ago it hit so hard you couldn’t even stand on your own.

Junhui knows about this from your members. One of them has called him, telling him to stop you from pushing yourself too hard because even they can tell you’re nearly burnout. He has called you right away, nagging you with his lecturing tone on why you should rest now so you can perform your best later.

His words only last a day.

After that, you’re back to forcing yourself because the award show is two days away and you can’t afford anything less than perfect. A trip to the hospital with your manager to inject vitamins and such seems to be enough conviction for you to tell the company things should be okay until d-day, that you’ll rest after that. They’re sceptical, but you do seem a little better so they let you be.

[14:22] Junpiii: saw you on rehearsal earlier

[14:22] Junpiii: you sure you’ll be ok? The choreo seems harder than usual

[14:34] You: im fineeeee. Its gnna be cool and youll see why im pushing this performance

[14:34] You: ill rest immediately after this, dw

[14:35] You: gtg eat and do my makeup

[14:35] You: see youuuuuuuuuuuu

[14:40] Junpiii: be careful ok?

“I really think you shouldn’t perform,” your leader tells you in concern.

You look up from your phone, rolling your eyes. “Seriously, why are you and Jun always nagging at the same time? It’s literally hours away, I can’t back away now.”

“We’ve literally been telling you to slow down,” she crosses her arms. She remembers the way your body just gave up at that one-day rest Junhui has forced you to take: you slept for almost 15 hours straight, your body finally happy with the rest only to be forced back to work the next day.

You just shrug, there’s no need talking about this again when the stage is right in front of your eyes. Plus, you feel fine enough now, just a little lightheaded earlier but it’s nothing compared to the headache from the other day. That should mean you’re good to go, right?

Walking out of your waiting room to go to the restroom, Junhui catches you by the elbow as you’re passing by, having gone back from one of his idol friend’s room.

“Oh, hi!” you greet him happily, it’s actually been a few days since you get to see him this close. The end of the year has always been hectic for idols, having to prepare different stages back-to-back for year-end shows and music festivals. “You looking good as usual,” you nod approvingly at him, patting his broad shoulders.

“And you’re not,” he says bluntly, frowning at you. How is it possible to be able to tell you seem less lively even when you have makeup on?

“Geez, what a way to support your girlfriend, Jun,” you scoff, pretending to be upset. “I know you think I’m pretty.”

“I’m not saying you don’t look pretty,” he exhales a deep breath, his hand carefully moves your hair behind your shoulder. “I really don’t think you should perform today.”

You hold back a sigh, not wanting to upset Junhui. You understand these people are trying to look out for you, but it can be disheartening to hear it over and over again when you just need to wait for a few hours more and be done with it.

“I can’t disappoint my fans, Jun,” you settle. Fans are always a sensitive topic, and you know Junhui would understand where you’re coming from once you bring them up. “They’ve been waiting for this special performance; I can’t let them down over some headache.”

“You know it’s not just headache,” he tries to reason with you, there are some staffs moving around the corridor, a few idols bow to the both of you in greetings. “You know I’m not the type to say this easily.”

You gently grasp his hand, giving it a firm squeeze before letting go. “I’ll be okay.”

Junhui has never been this much uncomfortable during an award show.

It’s almost your group’s turn now and there’s just a bad feeling hanging around his chest. For once, Junhui hopes his guts are wrong and you’ll really be okay, that you’ll finish the stage like it’s a piece of cake and then you’ll sleep until tomorrow once you’re back in your dorm.

But of course, bad feelings always prove to be right.

So far, it has been okay. Your stage is amazing, even, much more powerful than what he’s seen during rehearsal. But Junhui can’t even enjoy the stage when his eyes are too busy following you, making sure everything is okay and you’re feeling well.

Your smile might seem like you’re the happiest person on earth, and maybe you are, Junhui understands what it feels like to stand on the stage and perform for the people who support you. But the way you subtly miss your cue, the way you wince once the camera is off you, and the way your legs wobble a little when staying still tell him otherwise.

There’s about a minute left now, and Junhui genuinely hopes it’ll pass soon so you can go off stage and sit down for a while. One minute more, he digs his nails to his palms. One minute more and it’ll be okay.

For a moment, it really seems like it’ll be okay. Junhui almost lets out a sigh of relief when the song comes to an end, his vision darkening because the lighting is turned off for dramatic effect.

Yet, the sound of his heartbeat can’t be louder to his ears as he sees you fall down just in time the camera switches from you to your maknae, your leader catching you by her arms as you limply stay still.

His members subtly throw him concerned glance, worried and confused. Junhui stays still, his body tense with worry and shock from what he’s just witnessed. Five minutes later, when Seungcheol tells him to go to the restroom, he doesn’t reject the offer.

“Oh, Jun,” your leader greets him as she sees him by the door. “She’s… she’s conscious but she’s still laying down.”

He just nods, following her in with his heartbeat still ringing through his ears.

“Hi,” you greet him weakly as he catches your eyes. There’s a staff holding a fan to your face, another one massaging your overworked legs. “I’m sorry?”

Junhui doesn’t even know what to say, he whispers a thanks when the staffs leave you both for privacy, taking the seat near your head. His hand moves to caress your head, he really wishes the situation is as easy as telling you he’s told you so and he can move on with a laugh. But it’s not. You’re laying weakly there and he has to go back in a moment.

“Did you get a bed rest notice?” he asks instead, his fingers softly waving through your hair.

“For a few days, yeah,” you tell him sheepishly. “It’s not as bad because I came to in a few minutes.”

“You know that doesn’t make it any better, right?” Junhui says again tiredly, holding your hand in his as he drops a careful kiss there.

“This won’t happen again, I promise,” you say first. You know Junhui’s worried sick and he’s trying to stay calm under this situation. You’re lucky this didn’t happen in your practice room, to be honest. You know Junhui would openly freak out if that had been the scenario.

There’s something unreadable in his eyes, but he eventually nods before he checks his watch again. Junhui leans forward to drop a soft kiss on your head, mumbling into your hair before making his way out right after.

“You better rest after this, I’m going to check with your members if it comes to it. Will tell you if I can drop by later.”

[ljbrary]

2021 fic review 🤠

tysm for the tag AB!! @anxiety-banana 😊

now sit tight while i overshare 🥰✨

total number of completed works: 18! wow i know thats not a lot in the grand scheme of things but its more than i was expecting considering last January i was proud of myself for posting 2 fics 😭

total word count: on ao3, 65,292! but thats not including wattpad or wips ive done this year, so hold on one moment.... 

oh... oh wow... i have more words in wips than i do in posted works and it comes to about a whopping 67,271 words but thats not including stuff in my notes app or on paper because im too lazy to go through that lmao

but anyway that puts the rough total at... 132,563 words holy crap i need to get a life-

looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year?: MORE DEFINITELY MORE LAKSDJLJDS,F i didnt really expect to write at all really so yeah definitely a lot more

your own favorite story of this year?: dont- dont ask me to choose something i am the most indecisive person i know- especially when all the options are bad ones

okay in all seriousness id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its three of my all time favorite things: rex and ahsoka brotp, pure and unrefined angst, and modern aus. 

did you take any writing risks this year?: um id say posting my writing to begin with? considering im mortified of people finding out about this lmao (eg. this summer when my older brother sent this text to me after finding my wattpad, tumblr, and ao3: “so I just found out you’re a fucking nerd. the jig is up.” with a screenshot of my tumblr page and i wanted to either kill my brother or myself but unfortunately chose to do neither and just panicked by digging up blackmail to hang over his head 🤩

do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?: idk, nothing too big probably, but i really really really want to finish some of the wips im super excited about, like this angsty modern au one shot i started like last feb/march featuring anakin and ahsoka that i have sitting in my google docs with no discernible plot yet and 16,110 words 

most popular story of the year?: in terms of kudos/hits, lean on me (but let me laugh, first). basically, ahsoka purrs in her sleep, and everyone finds it very amusing (except for her). ill be honest i dont like this one; i dont like the writing but ig people seem to like it well enough?? somehow the only angst-free fic i wrote is my most popular and idk how that tracks but it does ig

in terms of how people have received my fics, ive been told by people that they like it’s not good grief (but it’s better) which is just anakin and ahsoka post wrong jedi arc (and angst, per usual)

story most under-appreciated?: id say weighted words hurt more than loaded fists (if you know how to use them) because its pretty much at the bottom of my stats on ao3 for both kudos and hits yet it if i had to choose one i like the best it would probably be that one

most fun story to write?: OOOH DEFINITELY MY CRIME AU SERIES JSKDHFS

trust goes both ways (or neither) its not the most glorious of writing but hey it was so so so fun to plan and write and- oh hey author look! its not done yet! (im sorry i promise i havent forgotten about it skjdhfdsljfk sorry AB @anxiety-banana 😭)

most unintentionally telling story?: idrk what this question is supposed to mean in all honesty but maybe im just dumb but im still gonna pretend i know how to answer it

maybe when there is nothing left but us (and of course it had to be you)??? because its my first fic on ao3 and yeah i guess thats kind of self explanatory. its basically an order 66 au where (spoiler alert), rex sacrifices himself for ahsoka to escape, and in the process maul tags along -- uninvited, as always. 

biggest disappointment?: myself

sorry i couldnt help it it was asking for it.

i guess id say the road to hell is paved with good intentions because i planned it all out and then never worked on it again which sucks because its totally something i want to read but ig thats not happening anytime soon 💀

biggest surprise?: all of them. im not kidding. none of them were planned and all of them were the product of both poor life decisions and even poorer executive functioning skills.

but maybe i’m not here to save you (you will save yourself)?? because its a six of crows fic and id only written star wars stuff until that point, which was in fact like four weeks ago so-

no pressure tags: (sorry if youve already been tagged haha) @ashgryff @ahsokryze @lynnpaper @hannah-schooler @dashedwithromance and anyone else who wants to do it!! 😊