#i mean- bruh the guy is all bone no meat

[mayisgoingnuts]

just out of curiosity - if thin thief likes getting tickle kisses, who from?

(asking for a friend)

...

Ahem......

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Ok yall I'm listening to tma for the first time and im gonna record my thoughts here.

I dont even know if this is worth posting but im going to do it anyways. I listened to episodes 1-40 in 3 days, I believe that's the first season.

ep 1: this is v good so far idk not much to say

ep 2: are all of these gonna have somebody named jon? thats the name of the dude speaking right?

ep 3: design with lines and a square in the middle? gotta be real that just sounds like a spider web. (isnt there an entity or wtvr called The Web? i think?) also are we just gonna brush over whatever thing shoved her into the street bruh

ep 4: the eye! That's a thing I remember seeing posts about

ep 6: worms? Worms!! "This story is concerning" arent they all?? who the heck is Jane prentiss uh oh

ep 7: so I'm guessing this is one of the entities we hear about?

ep 8: fractals feel like a Web thing idk its just vibes. this box sounds like a Web thing too- oop yeah spiders

ep 9: ik the hand with the eye on it is significant cuz i see it in fanart but im not sure what it means.

ep 11: web go brrr

ep 12: eyes!! In ep 4 the poem mentions smth about hearing right? AYO look at me makin connections Jared Keay (keye?) baybeeee. Beholding is a thing!

ep 15: I think theres an entity called The Dark but I'm not sure if im just making that up

ep 17: is it jorgen shitener or wtvr his name is again. IT IS!

ep 16: web time

ep 18: sus smells. Is it Eye time?

ep 19: oh!! this is connected to the other one! woah!

ep 21: this feels a lot like the cave diving one so far. was that a squish noise i heard at the end? worms? doesnt he have worm scars from whatever thing?

ep 22: martin voice reveal!! pogchamp! oh wow ok i knew the worms were gonna be somewhat important but not this important oh boy.

ep 23: oh god please no not the books. is this related to the graveyard thing from mist? jw 1279 (doesnt jw mean jehovah's witness) ffFUC KING KEAY

ep 29: i wonder if gerard keay (as ive learned his name is spelled) is one of those immortal death thingies. he does seem to show up a bunch but somehow i doubt it

ep 30: The Slaughter time? Meat! like the upstairs neighbor one!

ep 31: he mispronounced Appalachia >:( aw hell naw this is some Most Dangerous Game shit. this has The Slaughter vibes

ep 32: Prentiss oh boy. worms go brr. beholding is such a specific word i feel like i have to write it down ever time i hear it. spiders again. I still havent figured out which entity prentiss is related with. "you rob it of it's fear" "i dont know why the hive chose me" Is there an entity called the hive? i wouldnt be surprised but i cant remember hearing about it. Nicholas says worms are related to The Corruption

ep 33: "trying not to think about eachother" sean kelly o no re u gonna die. yeah im with jon on this one theres not rlly any supernatural stuff happening. probably they sacrificed him to keep something ? at bay (heh)

ep 34: i dont have to talk about how weird John Doe is right? v sus. The cracking noise is them giving themselves bones right. Apple? spiders? awww teeth i tried to call it. Teeth like the trash bag episode!

ep 35: passages: as in from a book? please no god not litener tell me it isnt so- GODDAMMIT OH WAIT JARED ITS HIM THAT LITTLE SHIT 13 passages + the one they came from. Weirdly wet, probably covered in blood. Bone! from the book that jared has! that's where he got his fuckner book. pages with web, figure in the darkness (anglerfish) stranger who means him harm, smth abt heat idk lightless flame go brr. eww the wormsss.

ep 36: buzzing? like in Hive? this sounds like a worms thing, perhaps the person who gave the statement got infected, thats why she was washing/ itching her hand? lighter?? hold on jared had one and the guy who got killed by the crime dude had one. spiderweb design go brr web go brr

interesting note cuz i cant remember which episode this came up in. In one of the past episodes tim was talking about some mistakes in the recordings. jon doesnt seem like the type of person to just not care about mistakes. he's gotten obsessed with these recordings like others get obsessed with the web etc

ep 37: They have the table? hmm... is this gonna be some fairy ring stuff. oh boy more burning. iron oh boy fae shit. milk bottle? this all sounds like witch shit i gotta be honest. rain water? yeah this feels like witchy things lol. dont tell me he opened one of the bottles. istg. he messed with some witch's spell jar and now he's cursed. is it a photo of his "predecessor" AYO IT ISS I CALLED IT

ep 38: books at lease we know they wont be involved but they couldve been. how come no one but jon ever calls the design a spiderweb? he has a migrane from the design? (idk if it is a guy but i always use he/him in my head cuz jon does) hopefully that means he wont be influenced? idk. oh dear a person is gonna disappear arent they. is david gonna go missing. is the speaker gonna go missing? spider oh no jon. oh no worms oh fuck

ep 39: oh dear this is quite unfortunate. LMAO he just asked if martin was a ghost im losing my shit. AYY TIM. fucking sasha is gonna get brainwashed by the web istg. I think that's a new voice but i cant tell im not v good at determining different voices. is it prentiss?

ep 40: "my eyes are up here but yknow, theyre not." LMAO how come those worms were slow (tim's statement) sasha sounds off. it's not her for sure. Is it like NotGraham? NotSasha? its funny she (gertrude) has such an ordinary death but that almost just causes more questions. If she didnt die due to a supernatural thing then it's something scarier, a person. (ayy me n jon said like the exact same thing) "they'll have to kill me first" oh god oh fuck foreshadowing

[momo-de-avis]

phoenix, banshee, hydra!!! :D

phoenix: do you believe in life after death?

unsure but I think yes??? not because I experienced anything, or because I watched way too much biography channel back when it was supernatural hours 24/7 but because I keep wondering... bruh I get it, we’re meat and bones and it all rots 6 feet under (or burns) but like.. the mind, you know, the stuff that makes the soul, the anti-matter shit inside of us... it’s gotta go somewhere 👀

banshee: name a definite dealbreaker in a relationship.

okay I hope this doesn’t bizarre but there’s a thing a few guys I know say to girls they’re dating that creeps the shit out of me.

‘wifey material’

back the fuck off Santiago, I don’t like the sound of that

hydra: do you collect/have a lot of anything?

I used to have a goddamn arsenal of carnaval props---wigs, funky hats, hair extensions, even angel wings and shit like that. I also collect (but have neglected in the past years bc they’re still in my mom’s house) gemstones, have about 35 I think? my favourite is the moonstone. I have a tine white one and one or two brown ones. Been meaning to buy a bigger white one, but apparently it’s rarer thus more expensive so that’s been on hold. Also, no place to display them has been my major setback. As a teen I had a fucking altar (the whitch-y phase us 90s girls all went through--thanks, Charmed) and always displayed them in circles, but no there’s no room for it

thanks friend!!!!!!

[gulescamisade]

Mega Texas:  Day 1

[ Dirk, Nepeta, Sollux, Tavros, Equius, Aradia, Signless, Summoner, Tyrena and Disciple all find themselves blipping suddenly onto the hot, scorching ground. Snapping back to reality and here comes gravity. They find themselves closely scattered in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The cars are here, aren’t they always, only some of these are broken into, which is another common thing. Beside them there is a judgemental moo from cows watching as these weirdos appeared from nowhere and decided to take a nap on the asphalt. Their hair still static-y from the trip, touching one of the abandoned carts seems like a bad idea man. Real bad. ]

DIRK: -DOOF. he lands on his ass.- ... What the fuck?

DIRK: -looks around. wal-mart... fucked up cars...-

DIRK: -a weird looking horse?-

DIRK: -could he be in the fabled land of his birth?-

NEPETA: =TAIL FRIZZES AND HISSES=

EQUIUS: -How dare you. He is in perfect condition. This Wal-Mart, however, is not. Equius stands with a groan.-

NEPETA: =THE CLAWS ARE OUT=

DIRK: -nah, that's a ridiculous conclusion to jump to...-

TYRENA: -drags herself up from the floor-

DIRK: -gets up, surveying the group and takes a head count.- Everyone okay?

TYRENA: -a little bit of a hISS as she does-

TYRENA: 0NLY SUPERF1C1ALLY >:)

TYRENA: -STALKS AND HOBBLES a few steps, bare feet on the hot ground.- TYRENA: BLEH

SIGNLESS: -Ahh, nothing like suddenly APPEARING SOMEWHERE ELSE. First thing to register when his feet hit the ground is that its very hot, but heat he can handle, what he cant handle is trying to guess what just happened.-

SIGNLESS: Would someone.... kindly fill me in on what has just happened. -Squints as he looks around at all the cars and cows.-

EQUIUS: -He's sweating abhorrently, and the heat is making him a little...sluggish-

TYRENA: 1 PR0M1SE NO K1NDNESS

TYRENA: 1T WAS A TRAP

SOLLUX: -just laying face down on the ground.-

ARADIA: -she had a soft landing...but sollux...he needed to fall flat on his face. it was important. so she just waits for him to get up.-

NEPETA: =Scampers around anxiously, scampers over Sollux. Sits on him and kneads=

NEPETA: =With claws=

NEPETA: =Hello=

SOLLUX: 0w.

SOLLUX: guess i'm still alive. c00l.

SOLLUX: -muffled into pavement-

DIRK: ... -hoists him-

DIRK: We're missing most of the crew.

DIRK: -pats himself down... his comm device is still on him. hmm.-

NEPETA: =Doofs off Sollux as he's lift and scampers again before climbing Equius=

SOLLUX: -is hoist- l00ks like nepeta is 0kay.

TYRENA: YES

TYRENA: THEY ARE M1SS1NG YOU, EQUALLY, 1'M SURE

SOLLUX: every0ne stand still and wait f0r me t0 st0p tasting c0ncrete s0 i can figure 0ut wh0's here.

DIRK: I'm gonna try to get ahold of everyone else. Hold up.

ARADIA: im here

SOLLUX: 0h hey AA.

EQUIUS: D --> Are you...okay, Nepeta? Aradia as well. Everyone else

NEPETA: :33 <sure this is grrrrrrrrreat blargh but im fine just furreaked out :'((

ARADIA: hi sollux

ARADIA: hi equius

ARADIA: theres nothing to be freaked out about :D

NEPETA: :33 < this is dumb >:'((

EQUIUS: D --> Stop being weirder than usual, Aradia. I concur with Nepeta

ARADIA: youre weirder than usual

ARADIA: oh wait

ARADIA: thats all the time

EQUIUS: D --> Now is not the time to wa% pitchy. Something severe has happened

ARADIA: its moderate

DIRK: -gets this random urge to kick hal's ass-

TYRENA: 1 APPRECIATE Y0UR UTTER 1ND1FFERENCE AND F1ND 1T REFRESH1NG

TYRENA: H0WEVER, 1T D0ES REVEAL A F0REKN0WLEDGE 0F TH1NGS

TYRENA: SP1LL, P1X1E, 1 KN0W H0W TH1S GAME W0RKS

TYRENA: 1'VE BEEN AT 1T F0R M0ST 0F MY L1FE

DIRK: -blurts out, holding up his comm- Hey. We're in Texas.

TYRENA: 0H

TYRENA: WHAT'S A TEXAS

ARADIA: -she smiles at tyrena- ive been through every way this could possibly go

ARADIA: i know what we have to do to get to our best end result

ARADIA: but in every circumstance that i choose to tell you what to do next

ARADIA: it all ends horrifically

TYRENA: HA

TYRENA: 1F Y0U 1NS1ST

TYRENA: 1 AM N0 HYP0CR1TE, AT LEAST

SOLLUX: welc0me t0 hell.

ARADIA: welcome to hell

SOLLUX: yeah.

DIRK: -looks a little distressed-

DIRK: ... Alright, everybody.

DIRK: I've gathered that the crew's been split up into groups, presumably all around the US. We're going to try to meet up in Minnesota.

DIRK: The kids are still on the ship, but Porrim is looking after them. Think she's got the bots helping her too.

TYRENA: HM

TYRENA: 1 SUPP0SE 1T 1S A PLAN, 1F N0TH1NG ELSE

DIRK: Sollux, come with me. We're gonna try to hot wire some of these cars. -drags him, but also because he wants to talk to him-

ARADIA: -smiles as they go-

SOLLUX: hhff. -is DRAG.- h0w fucking 0ld is this techn0l0gy even g0ing t0 be, this is g0nna suck.

DIRK: We weren't transported back in time, asshole. I'm sure it's fine. -he assumes-

DIRK: ... -quiet for a second after he jimmies a door open- I don't know where Jake and Roxy are.

SOLLUX: -no human technology suuuuucks. whine whine. but also quiets himself after that.- SOLLUX: ... 0kay. uhh.

SOLLUX: fuck.

DIRK: I'm trying not to freak out. Not while I still gotta give everyone direction. -leeeans into the driver's seat and starts fucking around with the car.-

NEPETA: :33 < its purrretty hard to not freak out :((

NEPETA: =crawls in the car and starts to scratch the seat immediately= :33 < where can we even go in texass?

TYRENA: AWAY FR0M TEXAS

DIRK: -SUDDENLY A CAT- ... Yeah, that's the plan, actually.

DIRK: Probably best we lay low too. As much as I'd love to sight see.

SOLLUX: jegus nepeta.

NEPETA: :33 < i can help scout...... =mnng, jumps out and starts to prowl around........= and also get dinner =STARES at cows=

NEPETA: =MEAT=

DIRK: Don't you dare kill that horse.

NEPETA: =tilts head and snorts=

NEPETA: :33 < thats a silly looking horse!!

EQUIUS: D --> It's an udderbeast. A, oh fizzlewinks, what do humans call it again? Oh yes, a cow -And Nepeta better leave it alone-

DIRK: He's just a lil chunky.

ARADIA: -joins the rest of them-

NEPETA: :33 < a chunky hunk of FOOD

EQUIUS: D --> Cease

NEPETA: :33 < im trying to feed the pack :30

SOLLUX: can s0me0ne take a chunky hunk 0f shut the fuck up while i'm trying to blindly help h0twire this scuttlebuggy?

SOLLUX: in case y0u f0rg0t the tech guy was blind.

NEPETA: =leans next to Sollux=

NEPETA: :33 < (is the shut fuck tender and juicy.... like steak?) =mrps softly= i pawlieve in you!

SOLLUX: ggghhhhh.

ARADIA: im assuming youre pretty talented with your scents to know whawt youre doing by now

EQUIUS: -Plucks Nepeta up. Let him work-

SOLLUX: -mocking her- i'm assuming y0u're pretty talented with y0ur dick by n0w t0 blah blah blah my ass.

SOLLUX: -sparks fly as he touches two wires together- 0W FUCK.

ARADIA: i mean yes

ARADIA: i was waiting for that

SOLLUX: Y0U WERE WAITING F0R MY ASS?

ARADIA: for you to get shocked

ARADIA: after saying that

SOLLUX: AA can y0u st0p being super fucking creepy f0r tw0 sec0nds and try being slightly m0re s0cially acceptable? like ask if i'm 0kay 0r s0mething???

ARADIA: are you ok

ARADIA: you are

ARADIA: i can answer that

DIRK: -he's just watching this happen tbh-

SOLLUX: i'm-- g0d damn it.

SOLLUX: -throws hands up-

ARADIA: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SOLLUX: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ARADIA: :D

DIRK: -and with that, he manages to get it to start running- Nice.

DIRK: This wouldn't be possible without the sacrifices you made, babe. I'm so proud of you.

TYRENA: -climbs onto the roof of the car.-

SOLLUX: y0u're WELC0ME, every0ne!

SOLLUX: what the fuck is that.

ARADIA: tyrena

SOLLUX: figures.

DIRK: Important question... Who all knows how to drive a car?

NEPEPTA: :33 < i do!

DIRK: Cool. We're gonna need a few people cuz we ain't all fittin' in one.

DIRK: -moves onto another car to get that one running.-

TYRENA: 1 CAN DR1VE

SOLLUX: Y0U'RE BLIND.

SOLLUX: HA HA.

TYRENA: YES, Y0U ARE

SOLLUX: yeah.

SOLLUX: -SIGHS.-

SOLLUX: -he's more agitated because he misses Terezi already.-

EQUIUS: D --> I can navigate one of these rudimentary vehicles well enough

SOLLUX: kn0wing y0u, y0u'll break the wheel 0r kick a h0le in the fl00rb0ard bef0re y0u get this thing past the ugly h0rse.

DIRK: -keeps an eye on those two... no strangling this time.-

EQUIUS: D --> I could just as easily put a hole in you -This heat is doing wonders for his anger-

NEPETA: =puts her foot on Equius' cheek=

DIRK: Don't make me come over there.

ARADIA: -pats equius's arm- but you wont

SOLLUX: i dunn0 aa i think we have time t0 find 0ut.

DIRK: For fuck's sake, my dude.

SOLLUX: let's just be real ab0ut 0ur handicaps here. i'm blind and he's freakishly hulking.

EQUIUS: -There's a neck vein or three bulging-

ARADIA: hes big

NEPETA: =Puts her foot on the neck veins, mrps=

NEPETA: :33 < if i cant eat the weird horse ill eat mew both fur survival!

SOLLUX: at least i'll be put t0 g00d use.

NEPETA: :33 < purr bones would make a nice broth

ARADIA: -whacks sollux's arm-

EQUIUS: D --> As what? A post dinner tooth picking tool

NEPETA: :33 < no equihiss purr the picking tool fur my teeth! >:00

EQUIUS: D --> You've already e%pended your use, Captor

NEPETA: :33 < BLARRRRRGGHH =ascends the horse and gets on his shoulders, hand over the mouth= shush

DIRK: -okay, he's coming back over.-

SOLLUX: 0W.

SOLLUX: what was that f0r???

[In the not so far distance, a shitty jpeg skateboard gently floats to the ground]

ARADIA: you hit your daily verbal self deprecation limit a long time ago

DIRK: Are we really doing this right now? Because I'm not in the fucking mood to br-- .....................

DIRK: -stares at the skateboard-

SOLLUX: excuse me?? that d0esn't exist.

SOLLUX: .... br.

ARADIA: -just smiles at the skateboard. HAHAHA it's kind of funny this time around-

DIRK: ... -picks up the skateboard-

SOLLUX: br???

SOLLUX: dirk???

DIRK: Bruh.

SOLLUX: 0h 0kay.

[It's just...So shitty. It's UNREAL, how poor the quality of this thing is. It feels like it's going to break apart in his hands. There's no way anyone actually ever rode this thing]

DIRK: ... -captchalogues this-

DIRK: Anyway, I got the other car running so let's split up.

SOLLUX: sure thing gang.

DIRK: Watch me swooce right in. -pushes sollux into the passenger's seat so he can get into the driver's seat.-

SOLLUX: hrrf. -scrunches up his little stick noodle body-

EQUIUS: -Grumbles off to the other with Nep-

NEPETA: =Pats his sweaty face, softly shushing=

DIRK: -BYE BITCH. just kidding. he likes equius but he can't abide anybody flexing threateningly at his husband. sorry bro.-

ARADIA: -she'll stay in here. for reasons. BYE EQUIUS KISS KISS LOVE YA BYE BYE-

EQUIUS: -He'll break everything-

DIRK: -leads the way further north with his gps guiding them. it's gonna be a long night.-